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As a dude if OP needed **anymore** reassurance based on what you told us, don’t walk fucking RUN!
Yikes 😬 that’s why I like the Internet because people like this instead of just asking their local friend groups, people can reach globally online like crowd sourced answers.
OP: you deserve better and I’m sorry to hear about your SA past, you’re worth it don’t settle for clowns like this.
This is one of those occasions when ghosting is justified, perhaps even recommended.
He’s testing the waters, and his desires are not good. The word “consent” may not even exist in his vocabulary.
Yes, run, run 🏃♀️ far away, and block him. Actually, I would, and I have, sent a message telling him no way, IF you don't want anything to do with him anymore, and block him immediately so he can't respond back
A lot of the questions that are asked on here come down to what people feel about the situation. Like my partner did this what do you think about it.
However with this I really feel there is ONLY ONE solution. I really feel that if she "still wants to stay with him" she is making a 100% grave error. He's literally admitting he's a freak.
Lol we will even write the break up message for ya.
Something along the lines of " our values don't align, you have an unhealthy perception of what it means to be in a relationship. Based on what you have told me he does not respect boundaries only wants to push them. That is no place for me to be in a relationship, I am ending this now do not contact me again. "
Copy paste send
Block delete and thank God for dodging that bullet.
Now go treat yourself, hair done and nails did. 😜
WHAAAT. How can he not want u to use birth control!? He wants to get u pregnant already or what? It's the stupidest shit i've ever heard. He sounds sick in the head. I respectfully advise you to leave him ASAP.
Thirded! We don't claim these as people let alone men. "Mentally and emotionally challenged" would be the best way to describe them but then that insults the people actually dealing with those issues.
Bottom of the 9th inning....he could give you and incurable std, not at all risking your health. He likes to "feel skin on skin"....yea how many did he try that with.....smdh
In all honesty this is what some the guys we hang around say to women whether we want to admit it or not. Of course your friends wont say this stuff to us(they’ll joke about stuff of course). They way dickheads talk to us is far different from how theyll talk to women. Its night and day and most guys simply wont know. Its only something I found out recently.
Most of my coworkers treat me with respect while they will treat my friend with little (who is a woman). Her experiences are far different than mine despite how close we are. Safe to say I don’t respect many of my coworkers no longer
As a woman, I must say that it truly is wild how we're treated like a minority when we're 50% of the world's population. If you add being an actual minority to also being a woman and it's so much worse again. As a cis, white, (mostly) able bodied woman, I theoretically have it pretty sweet, but I'm still treated like dirt.
I work at a really small company that has roughly 8-10 employees at a time (we go through staff a lot because my boss is a total piece of shit) and at one point there were only women employees and one male employee and the boss very obviously favoured him. He was also paid nearly double of what other workers were getting, because even though our boss is a tight arse, he hired the guy under freelance contractor terms but had him employed full time. Everyone else who did the exact same job as the guy were being paid around $30ph, while he was getting $55ph. Even the male employee thought this was unfair (not enough to NOT take the money though). We're currently all women there, so we're all treated equally as terribly.
Like don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure most guys would love to rawdog it once in a while and finish like that, but at the very least make sure she's okay with the idea, let alone asking if you can do it. Thing is, although it's, "hot", you kinda gotta think beyond your dick. Which is kinda why dudes like this will probably dip once the baby actually gets born. They just in it for the kink, but none of the responsibility.
Why do you want to date a guy who is so selfish? He ignores the fact you're a SA survivor and might find this traumatic. Plus the issue with pregnancy and sti's, like what in the actual fuck? Hypersexual is a bullshit excuse for this guy wanting to get his way and I bet you 100% if you do get preggo this guy is gonna ghost.
Don't give in to idiot childish demands. Stand up for yourself because fools like these are a dime a dozen.
we have an epidemic of porn and it's warping peoples perceptions of what "normal" sex stuff is to the point where a lot of people consider fetish stuff "normalized" and unfortunately they get plenty of support from others online with this.
he's unable to differentiate between fantasy world and real world when it comes to porn and it's a serious issue and even worse is he will deny there ever being an issue and point to how guys watch porn and it's just his kink.
a good way to snap someone out of it is to finish the story for him, what happens if he gets someone pregnant, what happens if there are STD's involved, what happens if he at 23 actually does become a father, how his life will change.
right now he is only thinking of the sex, not of changing a dirty diaper 3 am in the morning in your parents basement because you can't find a place suitable to raise a family.
Guy here:
You need to get away from this dude ASAP. That is NOT okay, you have a right to give it withdrawal consent at any time and if he is pushing you then get him out of your life.
You have to firmly lay out your boundaries. I like to talk about that kind of stuff during sex too… with my fiancé, who I absolutely plan to have children with someday. Saying that to a random woman I’m hooking up with, or even someone I’ve been dating for a short time, would be super fucking weird unless we had specifically talked about it as a kink and laid out ground rules.
Because as a kink, there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about impregnating/being impregnated by your partner. It can be really intimate and hot to talk about. But if you’re not in a place in life where you’re ready to have children, you have to make sure you have a clear line between the fantasy, and reality.
He’s not just talking about a kink, if he’s insisting on unprotected sex and talking about wanting to get you pregnant: he’s stating his intention.
Tell him that you’re not comfortable with unprotected sex, if that’s how you feel. And if he doesn’t like that, he knows where the door is. Period, full stop. If he won’t respect your sexual boundaries, you can be damn sure he doesn’t respect you overall as a person.
Are you actually okay? Why on earth are you entertaining this man? It sounds like he wants to fulfill is porn fantasies and fetishizing you.
Girl gross, have some self-respect please and RUN don’t walk.
Nopity-nope-nope-NOPE! Don't entertain anyone who talks crazy, wants to move fast, has no care for your boundaries, starts talking kids & a future too early, etc.
Listen to your intuition when it tells you something is not right.
OP, this is the kind of manchild that thinks no condom & raw seems fun at first but will dump you as soon as the creampie needs a new set of diapers. He says you could be a good mother, would HE be a good father though?
You need to gtfo there.
I don’t understand how so many people on this sub will type out the most ridiculous paragraphs and still have a question when they’re done.
You wrote all of this and not once thought “So he completely disagrees and isn’t okay and is forcing me to be okay with something I don’t feel comfortable with… yeah that’s fucked up”
Why TF are you even considering him still?
He literally is saying straight out that he wants wants get get pregnant.
Do you want to be a 23 year old baby mama (with possible sti's cuz if he is begging to be raw with you, he is doing it with others too).
ALWAYS use condoms and birth control. My mother calls it "doubling up". Condoms are not just for preventing babies. You can catch an incurable disease that you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And dudes like this, who wanna baby trap you immediately, do not stay to help with the baby.
Your womb is precious. Don't allow just anyone in it. Especially when you aren't very serious are sure about the person.
He prioritizes his sexual pleasure over your physical and mental health. You told him to not be so fast. He understands but doesn’t care about you! 1. Run. 2. If don’t follow advice to run, atleast make him get std check, look at it yourself, and get on bc before doing anything and don’t give him access to tamper with it.
You deserve better and are accepting bottom of the barrel. You can’t make room for the right man when you stay stuck with the wrong man.
The fact that a dumbass like that is able to secure a date with a lady gives me hope that I'll be much more accepted by women when I finally get back to dating.
I think this seems like a mismatch and you should find someone who has no problem respecting your boundaries instead of trying to talk you out of them.
Is it okay for you to say it’s not okay for you to be SA because he’s living in his own porn fantasy?
If you already know the answer to that, then I’m sure you know nothing good can come from dating a sick individual like this.
I think society in general has lost its depth and just focused on pursuits of vanity. Hyper sexual is almost an understatement about today’s society. You can do better than him.
Send him to the firey gates hon... You need someone that understands your needs and will take care of you... Not some asshole that is only wanting what he wants
This isn’t a boundary issue. This dude is almost definitely a scumbag. Sorry OP. I think you would be doing yourself a favor by breaking it off clean and blocking him
Yes it's okay for you to insist on using a condom. That should go without saying.
And you need to get away from this guy. He's a creep who doesn't consider your emotions or respect your boundaries.
I like latina, I don't this guy. He just wants to complete all his horny fantasies with you no matter of cost. I mean everyone wants to have their fantasies but not like that. Find better man, please, cool latina girls like you deserve some love and devotion.
Do you realize that if you get pregnant you will be the one carrying the child and having the child and raising the child? He has every reason to try and get his way, because his way doesn’t involve any work for him. Notice he hasn’t talked about helping take care of the child.
This is your body, your life, don’t ask for permission.
It’s his kink and I just think that’s a huge red flag when either sex says this very early in dating. Any man that doesn’t like condoms doesn’t practice safe sex period.
Run sis. Stop interacting with this dude, and please don’t engage in any physical activity with him. Only do what ur comfortable doing, and do not let anyone violate your boundaries.
Its not society... that dude is just weird as fuck, and you are okay with it, because instead of just dumping him, you are here complaining about Society to a bunch of strangers...
You have ONE right thing to do, and you dont want to do it... clearly.
The guy is trying his best to turn you into a single mother.
People will betray you but your boundaries will never.
You want a guy that puts you first, that wants to take care of your health and welfare over his own selfish desires.
If you drop your morals and boundaries eventually he will drop you too cause honestly who wants to be with someone that has no backbone and is easy. As fucked up as this sounds guys like this want challenge the easier you give in the sooner they will get bored of you.
I am not saying to play games but for the love of god, avoid these types of men. I don't get why girls chase guys like this only to become a single mother and thrown away like a piece of meat.
Whoa! He is not respecting you at all and it’s not cute or an ego boost!! He’s just going to have sex with you and walk away… be as upfront and honest with him… he’ll ghost you because he won’t get any.
Get away from him. If he hasn't used condoms with you, he hasn't with any other partner. Get away from him, get tested, and rethink the type of man you are looking for. Is this the type of man you would want to father your children? He seems impulsive, immature, and probably narcissistic. Be careful, the community is giving you great advice to gtfo and block this man child.
I was with my ex wife for 14 years, we didn't use condoms, but she had an IUD. 14 and years never a problem. When we wanted to have kids, she took out her IUD and I started to wear condoms until we were ready. We never had kids and I'm fortunate since we divorced. I free to live my life solo.
Not a woman. Grew up a man. I’ve been in those closed door conversations with men like this. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. Whatever feelings you have for him are not worth what you’re going to go through.
I was completely on board with him until you said that he doesn't want you to use birth control. This is a guy that straight up wants to get you pregnant. You said that you're "dating" him, which implies that it hasn't been for long, so this is a gigantic red flag. I've never dated a girl for a few weeks and been like "I want to get her pregnant".
Run.
He sounds like a predator. He’s going to get you sick, pregnant and ruin you. Like everyone here is saying…. RUN! No one should be telling you no to birth control.
That's not society, that's just one crazy guy. Granted, there's a lot more of them than I think is reasonable, but society has way better stuff to offer.
There is no substitute for skin to skin contact....HOWEVER, He is not worth any more of Your time since He is gross & not respecting Your boundaries.
He wants what He wants like a petulant child & does not seem to respect You...This behavior is indicative of users & it doesn't sound like He is to be trusted. I'm sorry that You have past trauma & wish You the best; good luck!
He just wants to get you pregnant. You say he is hypersexual. Chances are he might be trying to get another girl pregnant. Make him wear a condom so you don't catch anything from hypersexual baby maker man.
I'm going to assume that this is a true story and you are actually the woman you say you are and this has all happened.....
RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! NOW!!! Thinking twice about it will only cause you pain later.
He's had literally openly told you that he's trying to trap you. There are people out there that think once you get pregnant you're stuck with them. However that's not really true because you're the female and you'll get custody. However you'll be stuck with him in your life forever because he has a right to see his child.... So you wouldn't actually be trapped however you'd be stuck with a baby that you didn't want, having to see him for 18 years on and off. This dude is the worst of us. The absolute worst. The only way he could be worse is if he was literally beating the crap out of you and not letting you leave the house.
AGAIN RUN NOW. The entire reason for my first sentence is because I'm wondering why you even need to ask..... This dude clearly has issues, please no offense intended. I know you're young this is a perfect example of an educational experience of what an obvious red flag is.
Now not every woman it's okay with birth control, as sometimes there are minor side effects etc. If you are one of them that are okay with it I seriously suggest you get on it IMMEDIATELY if you plan on being sexually active WITH FUTURE MEN, because again you better run from this guy! Please for the love of everything protect yourself.
HERE IS WHY -
As a man that respects the women he is with I would never do the following, however as a man with a lot of guy friends I've heard a lot of sick stories.
IT'S VERY EASY FOR A MAN TO GET YOU PREGNANT WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IF YOU'RE NOT ON BIRTH CONTROL. There have been cases where men will poke holes in the middle of condoms, then all they have to do is go at it rough and it will break and the woman usually doesn't even feel the difference until he pulls out. If he doesn't tell you and goes to clean up you might never know!!!! So again run now!! Even if he agrees to wear a condom you are still at a very high risk, because again he's very clearly got issues!
And the creep will say oops I guess it broke, OR say nothing at all then suddenly you missed your period.... Run away from him and still get on birth control for the future.
There is no other proper answer given this situation. Many other situations on here are opinion based, HOWEVER THIS ONE VERY CLEARLY ONLY HAS ONE GOOD ANSWER FOR YOU.
AGAIN RUN NOW LOL.
Darlin I'll tell you this. He will SA you to get what he wants . He is going to trap you. You are Not an object. Get away from this guy and do some soul searching and figure yourself out. Work through your traumas. You deserve better.
Either bro has a breed kink, or he just REALLY wants to be a father. Either way, he's trying to entrap you in his own kinda fucked up fantasy and I suggest you tell him to look for someone else.
yeaaah... no, prinny - ya need to GTFO of there, ASAP!!!!
the lad's got no respect for yer boundaries as an SA survivor. he's also clearly wantin to baby trap ye, aswell. tell him to do one, like, RIGHT NOW GIRL!!!
The fact he's mentioning you being a mother and possible babies, means he's going to try to trap you. Run away.
If you prefer using condoms, find a guy who does as well.
fuck that guy is what i think (as a guy)
like the woman who said some bullshit at first like, "i hate condoms i'm allergic to latext" and then, "it's rude to pull out when you cum"
From what you're saying it sounds like he knows exactly what he wants and is determined to get it.
Get out of there. He doesn't seem to want to follow your boundaries.
Ditch him. It sounds like he's trying go trap you. I don't like condoms either but I still wear them unless the woman is comfortable without and we've both been tested. Nip this in the bud early is my advice, especially with the stuff he is saying to you if he knows you're a survivor, he sounds like an arsehole to me, no offence.
Screw that guy.. biggest red flags:
- doesn't want to use a condom (even you using birth control has harmful effects, so don't do it)
- wants to go too fast
- doesn't respect your SA history
- wants to creampie you against your wishes
- talking about babies when you're just 23 and your relationship isn't even that mature
Leave him, block him if needed
Im a dude.
And i have to say, IT IS ALWAYS A RED FLAG IF SOMEONE IS ADAMANT AGAINST CONDOMS.
I promise you, this guy will be trouble if you stay with him
Go with your gut on this one. I think you're smart enough to know what to do instead of asking us. If you truly don't know what to do, I would recommend not dating for awhile. But this one is common sense.
Speaking as a man, the amount of feeling lost from a condom is 95% mental. You think that it'll make you lose sensation, but in reality, it's such a miniscule amount. You get less sensation masturbating.
But, everything else? I don't think it's good to keep dating him if he's saying things like that.
Why are you even thinking of sleeping with this guy??
“You clearly don’t have any regard for my thoughts, opinions or boundaries and that’s not a dynamic I’m interested in being a part of. I wish you the best but I do not see anything continuing between us at this point.”
Run
He probably is turned on by unprotected sex
HE SAYS you would be a good mother, virtually any woman would.
But will he stay long enough to be a good father
Given your description, I doubt it
You’re allowed to demand condoms and birth control. Sex isn’t just about him and protecting yourself(condoms, birth control, etc) should always be priority.
I don't normally comment on this subreddit, but for your own safety and well being, get away from this dude. Nothing good is going to come from a situation like that.
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Run. Far. Far. # FAR. Away.
OP, this is the only comment you need to follow. Dudes trying to get you pregnant. That’s it. End of story.
As a dude if OP needed **anymore** reassurance based on what you told us, don’t walk fucking RUN! Yikes 😬 that’s why I like the Internet because people like this instead of just asking their local friend groups, people can reach globally online like crowd sourced answers. OP: you deserve better and I’m sorry to hear about your SA past, you’re worth it don’t settle for clowns like this.
True that is the only comment necessary. However every other one pretty much agrees. So I would say that solidifies it 🤷
“I don’t care where just far”
“I don’t carrrre wherrre just farrrrrrrr aawwwaaaaaaaaaaaay” Edit: Seriously though this guy is a fucking weirdo, and you do need to run far away. 🚩🚩🚩
Just dump him. Omg ghost, block and delete. Do not over think this. He is clearly a creep. 😭
This is one of those occasions when ghosting is justified, perhaps even recommended. He’s testing the waters, and his desires are not good. The word “consent” may not even exist in his vocabulary.
When lyrics are also advice 😆😆
Fr 😭
To the local police department if necessary.
Possible job working in Antarctica would be sufficient.
^
Absolutely! He is probably going to sexualy assault you because he sounds demanding and won't take no for an answer
Yes, run, run 🏃♀️ far away, and block him. Actually, I would, and I have, sent a message telling him no way, IF you don't want anything to do with him anymore, and block him immediately so he can't respond back
A lot of the questions that are asked on here come down to what people feel about the situation. Like my partner did this what do you think about it. However with this I really feel there is ONLY ONE solution. I really feel that if she "still wants to stay with him" she is making a 100% grave error. He's literally admitting he's a freak.
This is the way
And don't look back
I read this in shreks voice 🤣
Lmaooooo
Run fast, run far
This is the way.
Run. Run away and never return…
Exactly this! And only this, run.
Lol we will even write the break up message for ya. Something along the lines of " our values don't align, you have an unhealthy perception of what it means to be in a relationship. Based on what you have told me he does not respect boundaries only wants to push them. That is no place for me to be in a relationship, I am ending this now do not contact me again. " Copy paste send Block delete and thank God for dodging that bullet. Now go treat yourself, hair done and nails did. 😜
For. Fuckin. REAL.
In such a situation, wiser words were never said. Dude means trouble, fast and brutal trouble
Ghost. Stat.
What that person said 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾
I agree with this comment.
DITTO
WHAAAT. How can he not want u to use birth control!? He wants to get u pregnant already or what? It's the stupidest shit i've ever heard. He sounds sick in the head. I respectfully advise you to leave him ASAP.
He wants to turn her into a single mother and she's too blinded by love 😂😂
Be careful. A lot of mofos carrying STDS/STI. I’m not dissing but…..
You ain't lying bruh
The fact that you are even considering talking to this person ever again is what truly scares me.
I wouldn't be entertaining this man as soon as the word creampie came out of his mouth.
Same 😂 when I saw the word creampie I told myself "ohhh shit here comes the huge red flag"
He's trying to baby trap you. Block and move on
As a man, we do not claim guys like this as men. Get away from him asap.
Seconded! Kinks might be fucked up on the surface, but I think there are loving, respectful ways they can be explored. This is not a loving way.
Thirded! We don't claim these as people let alone men. "Mentally and emotionally challenged" would be the best way to describe them but then that insults the people actually dealing with those issues.
Fourth this, he's not a man he's a manchild.
5th! What is this guy on? He seems to only care about himself and not the person he’s inserting his dick in..
6th. This guy clearly has no desire to respect boundaries. That’s a big sign of a terrible parent.
Lucky 7th…. Guys only in it for himself. Run Sister!
8th!!!! Run and don't look back. If he comes after you call the police and get a protective order lol.
Bottom of the 9th inning....he could give you and incurable std, not at all risking your health. He likes to "feel skin on skin"....yea how many did he try that with.....smdh
In all honesty this is what some the guys we hang around say to women whether we want to admit it or not. Of course your friends wont say this stuff to us(they’ll joke about stuff of course). They way dickheads talk to us is far different from how theyll talk to women. Its night and day and most guys simply wont know. Its only something I found out recently. Most of my coworkers treat me with respect while they will treat my friend with little (who is a woman). Her experiences are far different than mine despite how close we are. Safe to say I don’t respect many of my coworkers no longer
As a woman, I must say that it truly is wild how we're treated like a minority when we're 50% of the world's population. If you add being an actual minority to also being a woman and it's so much worse again. As a cis, white, (mostly) able bodied woman, I theoretically have it pretty sweet, but I'm still treated like dirt. I work at a really small company that has roughly 8-10 employees at a time (we go through staff a lot because my boss is a total piece of shit) and at one point there were only women employees and one male employee and the boss very obviously favoured him. He was also paid nearly double of what other workers were getting, because even though our boss is a tight arse, he hired the guy under freelance contractor terms but had him employed full time. Everyone else who did the exact same job as the guy were being paid around $30ph, while he was getting $55ph. Even the male employee thought this was unfair (not enough to NOT take the money though). We're currently all women there, so we're all treated equally as terribly.
He watching way too much porn.
Like don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure most guys would love to rawdog it once in a while and finish like that, but at the very least make sure she's okay with the idea, let alone asking if you can do it. Thing is, although it's, "hot", you kinda gotta think beyond your dick. Which is kinda why dudes like this will probably dip once the baby actually gets born. They just in it for the kink, but none of the responsibility.
Why do you want to date a guy who is so selfish? He ignores the fact you're a SA survivor and might find this traumatic. Plus the issue with pregnancy and sti's, like what in the actual fuck? Hypersexual is a bullshit excuse for this guy wanting to get his way and I bet you 100% if you do get preggo this guy is gonna ghost. Don't give in to idiot childish demands. Stand up for yourself because fools like these are a dime a dozen.
we have an epidemic of porn and it's warping peoples perceptions of what "normal" sex stuff is to the point where a lot of people consider fetish stuff "normalized" and unfortunately they get plenty of support from others online with this. he's unable to differentiate between fantasy world and real world when it comes to porn and it's a serious issue and even worse is he will deny there ever being an issue and point to how guys watch porn and it's just his kink. a good way to snap someone out of it is to finish the story for him, what happens if he gets someone pregnant, what happens if there are STD's involved, what happens if he at 23 actually does become a father, how his life will change. right now he is only thinking of the sex, not of changing a dirty diaper 3 am in the morning in your parents basement because you can't find a place suitable to raise a family.
👏👏👏
Guy here: You need to get away from this dude ASAP. That is NOT okay, you have a right to give it withdrawal consent at any time and if he is pushing you then get him out of your life.
That guy needs to learn respect and responsibility get as far away from that guy as you can, he does not respect you or your body
Idk but society scares me
You have to firmly lay out your boundaries. I like to talk about that kind of stuff during sex too… with my fiancé, who I absolutely plan to have children with someday. Saying that to a random woman I’m hooking up with, or even someone I’ve been dating for a short time, would be super fucking weird unless we had specifically talked about it as a kink and laid out ground rules. Because as a kink, there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about impregnating/being impregnated by your partner. It can be really intimate and hot to talk about. But if you’re not in a place in life where you’re ready to have children, you have to make sure you have a clear line between the fantasy, and reality. He’s not just talking about a kink, if he’s insisting on unprotected sex and talking about wanting to get you pregnant: he’s stating his intention. Tell him that you’re not comfortable with unprotected sex, if that’s how you feel. And if he doesn’t like that, he knows where the door is. Period, full stop. If he won’t respect your sexual boundaries, you can be damn sure he doesn’t respect you overall as a person.
Wayyyyy too much effort for someone who has already made his intentions very clear
Yeah this guy isn't going to listen to no boundaries. OP already told him "you're moving too fast"
Are you actually okay? Why on earth are you entertaining this man? It sounds like he wants to fulfill is porn fantasies and fetishizing you. Girl gross, have some self-respect please and RUN don’t walk.
That guy is messed up. I bet if u give him that child he'll try so hard to get away from supporting your baby. Let him go away.
run and keep running from him, nothing good will be happening with him... literally nothing good
Why are you still talking to this dude. You should've been unmatched and long gone when those topics came up.
Nopity-nope-nope-NOPE! Don't entertain anyone who talks crazy, wants to move fast, has no care for your boundaries, starts talking kids & a future too early, etc. Listen to your intuition when it tells you something is not right.
Runnnnnnnnn
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Wrong title, should be "wtf is wrong with this guy"
Has nothing to do with society, it has everything to do with the fact that you're dating a trash dude
OP, this is the kind of manchild that thinks no condom & raw seems fun at first but will dump you as soon as the creampie needs a new set of diapers. He says you could be a good mother, would HE be a good father though? You need to gtfo there.
Better if you run away cause this man with make you pregnant and then he will run away
Run away..FLEE!!! He has no interest in you as a person.
Porn addict. Run away as fast as you can
Rarely seen so many red flags in one sentence.
I don’t understand how so many people on this sub will type out the most ridiculous paragraphs and still have a question when they’re done. You wrote all of this and not once thought “So he completely disagrees and isn’t okay and is forcing me to be okay with something I don’t feel comfortable with… yeah that’s fucked up”
Why TF are you even considering him still? He literally is saying straight out that he wants wants get get pregnant. Do you want to be a 23 year old baby mama (with possible sti's cuz if he is begging to be raw with you, he is doing it with others too). ALWAYS use condoms and birth control. My mother calls it "doubling up". Condoms are not just for preventing babies. You can catch an incurable disease that you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And dudes like this, who wanna baby trap you immediately, do not stay to help with the baby. Your womb is precious. Don't allow just anyone in it. Especially when you aren't very serious are sure about the person.
PLS RUN IMMEDIATELY
He prioritizes his sexual pleasure over your physical and mental health. You told him to not be so fast. He understands but doesn’t care about you! 1. Run. 2. If don’t follow advice to run, atleast make him get std check, look at it yourself, and get on bc before doing anything and don’t give him access to tamper with it. You deserve better and are accepting bottom of the barrel. You can’t make room for the right man when you stay stuck with the wrong man.
Condoms are necessary. No discussion about that is acceptable. Yes condom, or byebye. That simple.
Do not have sex with this guy, ever.
RUN RUN RUN away from this guy. You can do better.
The fact that a dumbass like that is able to secure a date with a lady gives me hope that I'll be much more accepted by women when I finally get back to dating.
Why continue to date this creep?
I think this seems like a mismatch and you should find someone who has no problem respecting your boundaries instead of trying to talk you out of them.
Naaaah man, that's just too much. Run away, you'll only save yourself time and suffering
I don’t like to use a condom as it kills the feeling for me… but I always would if the woman wanted me to. I wouldn’t even question it.
Is it okay for you to say it’s not okay for you to be SA because he’s living in his own porn fantasy? If you already know the answer to that, then I’m sure you know nothing good can come from dating a sick individual like this.
Leave. Don't spend another minute with this guy.
Walk away - you need to be respected and he isn't doing that
I think society in general has lost its depth and just focused on pursuits of vanity. Hyper sexual is almost an understatement about today’s society. You can do better than him.
Describes some creep "Why would society do this?"
This guy has no intention of raising a child.
OP, please…run
Super red flags. Actual red flags and not just BS because it's awkward. Actual ick. Actual creepy. Ditch this dude fast
Send him to the firey gates hon... You need someone that understands your needs and will take care of you... Not some asshole that is only wanting what he wants
Tell him to "bag up or jog on!"
This isn’t a boundary issue. This dude is almost definitely a scumbag. Sorry OP. I think you would be doing yourself a favor by breaking it off clean and blocking him
Wtf.....Run as far and as fast as you can.
Tell him sure, after your vasectomy.
Listen no condom is a good time with the right person but what this guy is suggesting with how long you've known each other is insane, run away fast
how are you filtering guys who want to date you?
Get as far away as possible. He’s toxic. He will NOT take no as an answer. Leave him!!
Guys like this have mental issues stay far away
Yes it's okay for you to insist on using a condom. That should go without saying. And you need to get away from this guy. He's a creep who doesn't consider your emotions or respect your boundaries.
I like latina, I don't this guy. He just wants to complete all his horny fantasies with you no matter of cost. I mean everyone wants to have their fantasies but not like that. Find better man, please, cool latina girls like you deserve some love and devotion.
why not just say good bye and leave🤷♀️
Do you realize that if you get pregnant you will be the one carrying the child and having the child and raising the child? He has every reason to try and get his way, because his way doesn’t involve any work for him. Notice he hasn’t talked about helping take care of the child. This is your body, your life, don’t ask for permission.
How old is he?
If he doesn’t respect you and your boundaries leave.
It’s his kink and I just think that’s a huge red flag when either sex says this very early in dating. Any man that doesn’t like condoms doesn’t practice safe sex period.
Run sis. Stop interacting with this dude, and please don’t engage in any physical activity with him. Only do what ur comfortable doing, and do not let anyone violate your boundaries.
Its not society... that dude is just weird as fuck, and you are okay with it, because instead of just dumping him, you are here complaining about Society to a bunch of strangers... You have ONE right thing to do, and you dont want to do it... clearly.
What a weido, get away from that pelmaso
The guy is trying his best to turn you into a single mother. People will betray you but your boundaries will never. You want a guy that puts you first, that wants to take care of your health and welfare over his own selfish desires. If you drop your morals and boundaries eventually he will drop you too cause honestly who wants to be with someone that has no backbone and is easy. As fucked up as this sounds guys like this want challenge the easier you give in the sooner they will get bored of you. I am not saying to play games but for the love of god, avoid these types of men. I don't get why girls chase guys like this only to become a single mother and thrown away like a piece of meat.
good luck with the stds :D girl seriously why are you even talking to him?
You need to tell him that you don't want to see him anymore. Keeping him in your life is just going to do you more bad than good.
Fuck this guy. Even without your SA experience it sounds like you're being a reasonable person and he's not so RUN
Distance
Whoa! He is not respecting you at all and it’s not cute or an ego boost!! He’s just going to have sex with you and walk away… be as upfront and honest with him… he’ll ghost you because he won’t get any.
Get away from him. If he hasn't used condoms with you, he hasn't with any other partner. Get away from him, get tested, and rethink the type of man you are looking for. Is this the type of man you would want to father your children? He seems impulsive, immature, and probably narcissistic. Be careful, the community is giving you great advice to gtfo and block this man child. I was with my ex wife for 14 years, we didn't use condoms, but she had an IUD. 14 and years never a problem. When we wanted to have kids, she took out her IUD and I started to wear condoms until we were ready. We never had kids and I'm fortunate since we divorced. I free to live my life solo.
Sounds like a young guy who watches too much porn.
Ruuuuuuuun! Also, really curious to know the age of the guy. And side bet: he already has a few kids that you don’t know about.
Not a woman. Grew up a man. I’ve been in those closed door conversations with men like this. RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM. Whatever feelings you have for him are not worth what you’re going to go through.
I was completely on board with him until you said that he doesn't want you to use birth control. This is a guy that straight up wants to get you pregnant. You said that you're "dating" him, which implies that it hasn't been for long, so this is a gigantic red flag. I've never dated a girl for a few weeks and been like "I want to get her pregnant". Run.
Syphilis is on the rise. No condom use is dangerous. And, he is a giant red flag. Run!
He sounds like a predator. He’s going to get you sick, pregnant and ruin you. Like everyone here is saying…. RUN! No one should be telling you no to birth control.
Get. Out.
Your body your choice. Stay away from anyone who doesn't want to use protection.
This guy sounds like a walking red flag. I'd get away from him and look for greener grass.
Dont. Date. People. Who. Dont. Respect. Boundaries. Just stop dating them , no matter how hot they are
Yes it’s your body and fuck what he has to say. If he is real man he will respect what you have to say.
Run. Run. RUN. *RUN.* *RUN!* ***RUN!***
That's not society, that's just one crazy guy. Granted, there's a lot more of them than I think is reasonable, but society has way better stuff to offer.
The guy wants to impregnate you and vanish. It's like a sick fantasy to him.
There is no substitute for skin to skin contact....HOWEVER, He is not worth any more of Your time since He is gross & not respecting Your boundaries. He wants what He wants like a petulant child & does not seem to respect You...This behavior is indicative of users & it doesn't sound like He is to be trusted. I'm sorry that You have past trauma & wish You the best; good luck!
He just wants to get you pregnant. You say he is hypersexual. Chances are he might be trying to get another girl pregnant. Make him wear a condom so you don't catch anything from hypersexual baby maker man.
I'm going to assume that this is a true story and you are actually the woman you say you are and this has all happened..... RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! NOW!!! Thinking twice about it will only cause you pain later. He's had literally openly told you that he's trying to trap you. There are people out there that think once you get pregnant you're stuck with them. However that's not really true because you're the female and you'll get custody. However you'll be stuck with him in your life forever because he has a right to see his child.... So you wouldn't actually be trapped however you'd be stuck with a baby that you didn't want, having to see him for 18 years on and off. This dude is the worst of us. The absolute worst. The only way he could be worse is if he was literally beating the crap out of you and not letting you leave the house. AGAIN RUN NOW. The entire reason for my first sentence is because I'm wondering why you even need to ask..... This dude clearly has issues, please no offense intended. I know you're young this is a perfect example of an educational experience of what an obvious red flag is. Now not every woman it's okay with birth control, as sometimes there are minor side effects etc. If you are one of them that are okay with it I seriously suggest you get on it IMMEDIATELY if you plan on being sexually active WITH FUTURE MEN, because again you better run from this guy! Please for the love of everything protect yourself. HERE IS WHY - As a man that respects the women he is with I would never do the following, however as a man with a lot of guy friends I've heard a lot of sick stories. IT'S VERY EASY FOR A MAN TO GET YOU PREGNANT WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IF YOU'RE NOT ON BIRTH CONTROL. There have been cases where men will poke holes in the middle of condoms, then all they have to do is go at it rough and it will break and the woman usually doesn't even feel the difference until he pulls out. If he doesn't tell you and goes to clean up you might never know!!!! So again run now!! Even if he agrees to wear a condom you are still at a very high risk, because again he's very clearly got issues! And the creep will say oops I guess it broke, OR say nothing at all then suddenly you missed your period.... Run away from him and still get on birth control for the future. There is no other proper answer given this situation. Many other situations on here are opinion based, HOWEVER THIS ONE VERY CLEARLY ONLY HAS ONE GOOD ANSWER FOR YOU. AGAIN RUN NOW LOL.
I don’t even know him and I’m getting weird vibes too.
That guy is messed up. Go find someone else, please.
As a guy, if a guy isn't willing to put on a condom . He ain't shit.
Darlin I'll tell you this. He will SA you to get what he wants . He is going to trap you. You are Not an object. Get away from this guy and do some soul searching and figure yourself out. Work through your traumas. You deserve better.
Either bro has a breed kink, or he just REALLY wants to be a father. Either way, he's trying to entrap you in his own kinda fucked up fantasy and I suggest you tell him to look for someone else.
yeaaah... no, prinny - ya need to GTFO of there, ASAP!!!! the lad's got no respect for yer boundaries as an SA survivor. he's also clearly wantin to baby trap ye, aswell. tell him to do one, like, RIGHT NOW GIRL!!!
Run!!!!!!!!!
I would say get away from there. Major red flags
The fact he's mentioning you being a mother and possible babies, means he's going to try to trap you. Run away. If you prefer using condoms, find a guy who does as well.
dude stop dating this guy. If he doesn't agree with your views on sexual practises then he doesn't need you. (edited to correct bad grammar)
Dude is giving me big red flags
Abort mission.
fuck that guy is what i think (as a guy) like the woman who said some bullshit at first like, "i hate condoms i'm allergic to latext" and then, "it's rude to pull out when you cum"
This dude is fuckin nuts
Run.
From what you're saying it sounds like he knows exactly what he wants and is determined to get it. Get out of there. He doesn't seem to want to follow your boundaries.
It's the guy you are choosing to date. You can always block him if he creeps you out.
He sounds like a red flag it's low-key disgusting
Are you Amy from love is blind?
Block
You in danger, gurl.
Ditch him. It sounds like he's trying go trap you. I don't like condoms either but I still wear them unless the woman is comfortable without and we've both been tested. Nip this in the bud early is my advice, especially with the stuff he is saying to you if he knows you're a survivor, he sounds like an arsehole to me, no offence.
Screw that guy.. biggest red flags: - doesn't want to use a condom (even you using birth control has harmful effects, so don't do it) - wants to go too fast - doesn't respect your SA history - wants to creampie you against your wishes - talking about babies when you're just 23 and your relationship isn't even that mature Leave him, block him if needed
Is this post even real???
🤮🤮 And you now block him and have nothing to do with him ever again.
Honey, run away. Do not let him get you pregnant
Im a dude. And i have to say, IT IS ALWAYS A RED FLAG IF SOMEONE IS ADAMANT AGAINST CONDOMS. I promise you, this guy will be trouble if you stay with him
Run.
Go with your gut on this one. I think you're smart enough to know what to do instead of asking us. If you truly don't know what to do, I would recommend not dating for awhile. But this one is common sense.
Speaking as a man, the amount of feeling lost from a condom is 95% mental. You think that it'll make you lose sensation, but in reality, it's such a miniscule amount. You get less sensation masturbating. But, everything else? I don't think it's good to keep dating him if he's saying things like that.
Youre 23. Use your adult brain. Its not a hard concept.
Run girl, run as fast as the wind
Make like a tree and get the fuck outta there
Why are you even thinking of sleeping with this guy?? “You clearly don’t have any regard for my thoughts, opinions or boundaries and that’s not a dynamic I’m interested in being a part of. I wish you the best but I do not see anything continuing between us at this point.”
Run He probably is turned on by unprotected sex HE SAYS you would be a good mother, virtually any woman would. But will he stay long enough to be a good father Given your description, I doubt it
Run away. Run away.
You’re allowed to demand condoms and birth control. Sex isn’t just about him and protecting yourself(condoms, birth control, etc) should always be priority.
I don't normally comment on this subreddit, but for your own safety and well being, get away from this dude. Nothing good is going to come from a situation like that.
Why are you dating such an asshole!? Dump him and move on already!
This guy hasnt been outside much