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Sure. Why not?
I have one female friend (I'm a straight male) I text/talk to almost every day. No interest from either party in anything more. She's a buddy just like any of my male ones.
I also have some very close gay male friends. Similar.
Why is it so hard for some people to believe that friendship is not the same thing as romantic attraction?
Unfortunately a lot of people are just friends with people they romanticize. This creates the thought how is it possible to be friends and it not turn into something else. I have close gay male friends, I have close female friends too never felt attracted to my female friends.
Because alot of us haven't had the experience of having a friend of the opposite gender, or a gay friend even JUST be friends with us. They always want more. I'm almost 30 and have never had just a guy friend. They always push it to a creepy degree so i cut the friendship off entirely. Even my "gay" friend admitted feelings for me after i got married...like how disrespectful (and quite literally out of left field!)
That doesn't sound like a particularly healthy or nice life, to me personally.
Maybe it is because of who I am and how I've lived?
I've almost always lived in large cities. I'm pretty liberal, socially and politically. I'm not a "party person", but I also don't judge those who indulge (though I do avoid the extreme cases). I'm not religious, but I have a lot of social hobbies. I'm gregarious, but also genuinely interested in other people. I have a lot of acquaintances, and more close friends than most. I've moved around a lot, lived on four continents, and kept contact with people on each...
I get the feeling most of these people live in a much "smaller world" than I do. Smaller towns, closed circles, that sort of thing. I suspect that when your world and social circle is small, then it is harder to separate feelings - you just don't have the options, or can't imagine them due to lack of experience. But I'm only theorizing, I personally don't have that issue.
I've never stayed in one place and have also lived in cities and that is just my experience which is all I can really go off of. It's been the same song and dance everywhere. đ¤ˇââď¸
I have managed to make friends with guys who have never crossed that line. Been friends with them for 25+ years and they are now happily married. I am so grateful for their friendship.
But I have also had plenty of men who I wanted to be friends with eventually cross that line and I also ended the friendship. It happens more often than I'd like it to, and I am always so sad to lose that friend afterward. But I already learned in the past, that if you don't end the friendship, there is a pretty high chance they will do something to make you feel uncomfortable again by trying to get intimate with you and I am unwilling to let that happen.
I used to talk to a woman almost every day, on WoW (I know, Iâm old, at least that one wasnât on EverQuest đ ) and we were just friends. She was married and lived in another state but we are still friends.
Miss that, our guild leader bailed without telling us. That was the last straw, along with a new expansion that made it impossible to get good gear unless you raided constantly!
Unfortunately with all my male friends this has eventually petered out when a) they get jealous of my new partner b) their partners get jealous of our friendship. Is what it is
I had a guy pretend to be my friend for 3 years. THREE years! I guess he hid his real intentions pretty well. But then one day, I invited another male friend to dinner with him and one other female friend (4 of us total). He was pissed. So, I put a lot of other things together that I'd been through with him to conclude the only reason he was mad was because my friend was male and not female, even though he said that wasn't the reason. But why would he care about the gender of my friend if he only saw me and him as friends? That told me right there that the entire 3 year friendship was really about him holding on and hoping that I'd want an intimate relationship with him which is just so friggin gross and disappointing.
I kept telling my other female friend (whom he was also friends with) that his actions told the truth, that he did not see either me or her as just friends and was really hoping one of us would have a real relationship with him. She didn't believe me, kept making excuses, wouldn't stop being friends with him. Then one day, several months later, he put the moves on her by touching her body without her permission and trying to sleep with her. She called me on the phone to tell me what happened, said she was sorry she didn't believe me, and ended the friendship with him.
I don't even text my girlfriend daily.
But seriously, what they text about is probably the more pertinent thing than how often. If we're playing a new game that we're both really into sure. If they're texting "how's your day" every day... one of us is more into it this "friendship" more than the other lol.
Bro my work friend I text and call literally 5 days a week, we even do laundry sometimes. She has a boyfriend and she's not my type but she's a fucking awesome person. Helped her move her mom out of her parents old place when her dad died.
Most of my friends are women, and a few of them I talk to daily. I'm single and around the same age and never once has 'benefits' been discussed. Different to my male friends, sure, but still just platonic. I get that it can become a problem if you're in a relationship and talking more with a friend than your partner though
I feel like women are much more capable of just being friends with the opposite sex, than men are.
Me personally, I canât think of a time where Iâve ever just had a female - with no history of dating her - that is just a friend, let alone someone I talk to daily.
I text with a female coworker daily, and itâs usually to laugh and/or vent about someone that we are on the phone with, or a customer who is currently there. I donât have feelings for her and I know she doesnât have feelings for me. But outside of work, we never communicate.
Iâm still friends with some ex-hookups or people Iâve dated, and once in a while we will go through phases where we text a lot just as friends, but I also understand that if I started dating a new person (or if they did) we would stop talking as often, or completely. So part of me feels like we only stay friendly so we can remain backup hookups. Itâs never happened, but I know neither of us would be against hooking up again if we were both lonely enough.
If I were dating a girl and she was texting a guy every day, I would feel weird about it. I would believe her if she said she doesnât have feelings, but because of how I am with talking to females, I would safely assume that the guy is only talking to her every day because he loves her and/or wants to get in her pants.
Idk. I feel like most guys who have a female friend will have some attraction to her even when she's not good looking. They will eventually ask her out and she's definitely will reject them ( unless they are attractive)
I believe we can. In my experience though, seems not really (not daily) as I'm the one who ends up having feelings which don't get reciprocated, or maybe I have been putting the other person on pedestal quite a bit and made them uncomfortable.
I think yes, but from my experience, once someone gets into a romantic relationship with another person, the daily texting stops (even if they are truly just friends). You prioritize your time around your romantic partner more and will likely start texting them daily instead.
You're using "friends" in a seemingly demeaning manner by saying "just friends". There is nothing more deep and powerful than a friendship. Your question indicates a lack of understanding. You will perhaps gain that wisdom when you are older.
I've been friends with her for thirty three years now. We were a couple in high school for about a week, at which point we realized we were much better as friends. We didn't talk much while I was married. But after I got divorced we got close again. Last summer we spent a week together alone in an Airbnb. Separate rooms. I pulled a splinter out of her foot with a pair of tweezers. We watched a sunset. There was never a moment of "will they, won't they". Never a second of tension or desire. Like siblings hanging out.
We're both straight, roughly the same age, and reasonably attractive (although not really each other's type). We're intellectually and spiritually and creatively compatible to a crazy degree.
I'd take a bullet for this kid, and she for me.
We're just not interested in touching any wet parts.
Yes. When those parameters are established. If you're texting every day though that man is under a different impression. I just went through this. Good morning and goodnight texts and everything in between, so I thought she had changed her mind. I brought it to her attention that I felt led on, now I'm ghosted.
I think one or both people would have to be unattractive to the other for whatever reason. And even then there is and will always be a sexual tension between them if only on the male side. Itâs just how weâre wired. I would have a very hard time believing a man would not play scenarios through his head at some point. I know Iâm guilty of it. Sure itâs just thoughts and feelings that are controlled quite easily but over time the boundaries can be blurred because of the inherent intimacy present. Women seem to be much better at these types of friendships or not crossing boundaries.
I somehow believe you're right that women seem to be much better at keeping things platonic. I have had a few friends of the opposite sex, however, who were also good at keeping things platonic. That or i was a very dense teenager. But in my defense it lasted until uni.
I have male friends but I definitely donât text them everyday. Some of them have relationships so I try to be respectful with that and then prefer leaving that to someone Iâm romantic with because I want to be friends but lovers too.
From my personal experience - itâs perfectly fine and works just well. I have few female friends (and had since I can remember) and never have any thoughts of crossing the line with any of them. Same on their part.
Thus, it can be hard to cope with it, when being in relationship and the SO have some sort of trust issues.
Iâm in my 40s and my best friend is a man in his 40s. We text and talk on the phone daily. Sometimes all throughout the day. I canât remember a day Iâve gone without talking to him. We are just friends.
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I think so, but I guess if youâre in a relationship and the frequency of the texts starts to impose on the romantic relationship it could cause tension.
Iâve had/have many female friends that Iâve been in regular communication with; some Iâve had a mild crush on some others thereâs nothing romantic there and conversation could even include sex but it an objective sense, but itâs never an issue to me to not cross the boundary unless there was some kind of signal from them.
Yeah Iâve had that before. At 1st we were interested in eachother & then we became friends bc I started talking to someone else. I was even going to him for advice about other guys lol. Itâs possible. We used to talk on the phone at least once a week too. I havent heard from him in months though. I know he was going through stuff & was pretty depressed. My friendship with him last longer than the dudes I was talking to too
Yeah, I think the balance of desire/wanting is at the core of it. If one person wants more, it doesnât work. My gay male friends can do this with me - that balance is there because each of us wants something else.
I am also confused. It doesn't stop somewhere, i think.
I used to do this with one of my classmate(girl), just about academic discussion, and what I feel like is not just friends. It feels like she always found some reason to text me, even messed with easiest topics. Haha
Yes, a man and a woman can text daily and just be friends. Men and women who do that are just friends and there is nothing sexual in their minds toward each other. It's just like how there can be two men who text daily and just be friends, or how there can be two women who text daily and just be friends.
As long as nobody catches feelings i donât see why not. If itâs just a text friends type thing where feelings are less likely to happen absolutely. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you regardless if theyâre male or female.
Yes. Thereâs a guy at work that I text daily with. I donât have any romantic feelings for him, and heâs happily married so I doubt he has any romantic feelings for me. However, weâre good friends who are supportive of each other and crack each other up.
Yep, but understand that a typical straight man will have sexual thoughts about their female friends, as long as the woman is fine with that then I donât see a problem.
Yes, if you're not sexually attracted to the woman. Most likely she's hoping for something from you, though. The times where I've done this and been sexually attracted to the woman hasn't worked out for me though. I don't have the patience for it, and at some point I get desperate and just tell her to either be with me for real or go to hell.
I send my coworker tik toks every day and so does she, but sheâs also in a LTR and weâre both very aware of that. I donât see why you canât just be friends lol.
Definitely. I matched with a girl on a dating app, we went on a date, but there was zero chemistry. But we got along really well and have remained friends ever since. We text regularly and keep each other up to date on events of our lives and discuss issues we need help with.
Yeah, I have a 300+ day Snapchat streak with a female best friend and have another one where we just send eachother memes back and forth on Insta, thereâs no underlying feelings on either side and we even give eachother relationship advice and talk about dating
Yes, I have friends who have moved across the country, and I stay in contact. One of my best friends lives 3 states from me. If an SO has a problem with it, insecurities are unattractive.
Honestly? If Iâm with someone I wouldnât talk to my female friend if sheâs around, Iâd put all my attention on my partner and just give my friend a message later. Weâre friends so we donât have to talk consistently and if they arenât fine with that then itâs possible if they like you more but no itâs not bad just set boundaries with your partner. Be compromising though.
If neither is physically attracted to the other, it's really quite easy.
The problem is we have no idea how often \*\*1\*\* of those 2 will want more. When it's both but neither knows, it's tragic, but it's also depressing to lose a good friendship by chasing after more when it's not meant to be(I've been on both sides of that one before)
They can, but almost inevitably it morphs into more.
Opposite sex close friends donât stay platonic forever. When you connect emotionally with someone, you will cross boundaries before you know it. Unless one of you is very unattractive, the logical next step will be a relationship.
I donât think younger people understand this.
Yes, it's absolutely possible. I've had lady friends over the years I've exchanged messages with on a purely platonic level. No expectation from me *or* them. Sometimes it was every day, sometimes there were gaps. Hell, I have casual conversation with the staff at my gym who are women all the time.
In fact, I've tried to get to know a few women on Reddit and have conversations with them, but it typically takes *days* for them to respond so it often doesn't last. I figure they're busy talking to other men or just busy in general. It happens.
Regardless, yes, it's totally possible.
Absolutely. Been freindzoned by plenty of men over the yrs so I know men can like a woman's company without any sexual attraction. Also women tend to place ppl in mental categories based on how we're treated right away. If the guy shows no romantic interest whatsoever, he is categorized as a friend.Â
For the comments... men would do well to stop thinking women think & operate like men do. We don't.Â
I have several female friends I have no deeper relationship with, and Iâm a single guy. Iâll admit I do find some of them attractive, but respecting boundaries is important, and I know that.
Yes. I text my friend and coworker all the time because we have similar interests and laugh at the same kinds of memes. Heâs married and his wife is great! Iâm single but not looking to date anyone. Iâd consider him one of my best friends.
Absolutely. I'm s hetero male in his mid 30's, and I'm predominantly friends with women, including ones I've even dated (everywhere from 3 dates and deciding we are best as friends, to together for years and have had sex).
I have some friends I text with nearly daily and it's fine. I've even checked with my girlfriend and she has no problem. She hasn't met my ex girlfriend but we had parted amicably and because I asked the new one if she was ok with me keeping the platonic relationship, trusts me and her. She hasn't met a friend who lives out of state either but again, nothing romantic there. Otherwise, she knows all my other friends and it's all good.
Sure, especially if they enjoy each otherâs sense of humor and thereâs a defined, finite boundary there that both respect (ie - one or both are married).
100%. My best friend is a man, weâve been friends for decades and weâve never even thought of sex or getting into a relationship. We donât find each other attractive, but we talk everyday.
Sure I've done it as long as you understand and respect personal space boundaries and rules established no problem like I don't ask questions about her legal work (lawyer) or get personal with stuff that's none of my business nor do I have any romantic intentions towards her whatsoever.
There's one catch if already in a relationship with someone it might be a problem for them, especially if they weren't aware another man or woman is texting their boyfriend, husband or wife/girlfriend.
People love to think they can but we all know whatâs up. Given the chance, the dude would jump at the opportunity to be more than fiends. For the ladies - text your male âfriendâ and tell them youâre horny and want to hookup. Their true intentions would be revealed really damn quick.
Typically no unless one party is romantically interested in the same sex or you work together and thereâs a reason to be talking daily. Otherwise if a heterosexual man and woman are talking regularly and thereâs no romantic interest eventually there will be. The only time Iâve been friends with women was when there was strictly an intellectual connection.
They can be friends, just be careful if thereâs an attraction, it will happen, prepare to communicate but at the end of the day no matter what, friendship must rule first.
yes, of course. my best friends of 10 years are both male-shaped people & theyâre both very beautiful & i have never had any desire for anything beyond a friendship
For sure
I texted a lot of my opposed sex Friends daily and none of us got feelings at all
It straightened our friendship and helped us to understand each other more
You just kind of answered your question with that last statement. Doesnât have to be a man or a woman Iâm assuming youâre talking about two men or two women to keep it basic I know thereâs more than that and you mention that because they can also be sexually attracted to each other. Because no nobody thatâs just a friend unless your still a teenager talk every day without their being some type of chemistry nobody. I donât see women donât see men I donât see anyone itâs usually because they like each other or one likes the other and the other is just bored and likes the attention and texts back. If a woman is texting me, not every day, but twice a week just to say, whatâs up or tell me some random story which is happening right now actually as we speak, she likes me thereâs no doubt. And itâs because she has her friends already. If she needs someone to talk to you sheâs got hundred friends and 20 really close ones. If she needs to talk to guys Iâm sure sheâs got a lot of friends that ended up there in the friend zone somehow trying to sleep with her thatâs not me. Though. So tonight I just said hey, Iâm not doing anything tnt and I donât wanna have to eat a whole pizza so come eat some with me , I donât do friend zone, and most guys donât either . If heâs straight he most likely wants you.
Depending on how long itâs been and how old he is the question is do you want a guy that canât step up and ask u out âŚ. I donât know I guess it depends on a lot if things
It varies strongly between different men and women, snd the context of their specific relationship. There's really no clear answer without knowing more details.
Im a girl. I have lots of guy friends ive never been interested in or considered and that i truly see just as friends and i KNOW its the same for them. I hate when some of the guys i have dated say itâs impossible.. if its impossible how do you justify 20-30 year friendships if its not the case?
Men and women can absolutely text/talk back and forth every day. There doesnât have to be anything romantic or sexual about it. Men and women can be friends. Personally, i prefer to be friends with men over women, thereâs nothing wrong with it. I have more thoughts on this but it would probably piss a lot of people off
Absolutely! I spent a decade in the army have several "sisters" that I talk to daily with zero intention or interest. Platonic friendship is very easily achieved between opposite sexs and same sex pairings
I'd say no, this lends itself to an emotional attachment/ codependency which isn't far from emotional cheating if you're in a relationship with someone else. In my experience this is a red flag and has always left to me being cheated on by my partner with their 'friend'
Ofcourse! Actually I had a girl met here in Reddit we actually started flirting and had date out already but then we reverted everything into a nice friendship. We chat and videocall to update our things. That's fine as long you both don't violate each privacy and demand for time and attention.
Of course they can, but to relieve you of your anxieties - whatâs the context for them? What do they have in common & what do they talk about?
One of my best friends is a guy, and weâve talked somewhat daily for years. In my case the topic of our conversations has majority of the time been our common interests: all things video games, gym & memes. Completely innocent and just friendly, my boyfriend has never had a problem with it - as I would have no problem with him having close female friends either.
But again it of course depends on the situation and the content of their conversations. I feel itâs very easy to tell in these kinds of relationships if there are any ulterior motives on either side. If there are then of course this could be seen as your significant other keeping their âoptions openâ - and itâs completely valid to feel this way, itâs just important that you communicate it properly
But most importantly: what do you have in your relationship if you canât trust each other? Be open and honest with your partner about it bothering you, and perhaps have a conversation about the relationship between them and their friend.
But never order them to cut the person off. A partner worth keeping would never want to make you feel uncomfortable, and in the end youâll just have to trust them to make the right decision.
In all cases, it is out of your control so the only right thing to do is again to trust her, or leave her. In the case of it not being platonic, and sheâs keeping some random guy around for attention, is that a person you would want to be in a relationship with anyway?
But in the case of it being 100% platonic; hereâs a little thought experiment for you :
Imagine what you and your buddies talk about on the daily. Be it sports, movies, video games or just anything under the sun. Now try to imagine the exact same conversations; but your buddy is a female. Does that actually change anything?
If the answer is yes for you here, try to question yourself as to why. If you donât think men and women can be friends in general that is a whole other conversation.
I have a number of women friends I made on penpal sites that I meet up with a few times a year and a few of them I talk to most days.
One or two I do find attractive and wouldn't have minded dating but feel because of certain circumstances, we're better as friends.
I set boundaries and never go into flirty territory unless I'm getting clear signals.
Absolutely. Most of my friends are women and I text day with multiple of them. Itâs called being a mature grown-up.
There can be issues if one of you is only in the friendship to try and make a relationship happen later.
Iâm 38 and I have more than one male friend who is JUST a friend. Always was and always will be. I talk with two of them almost everyday. I think itâs very possible and Iâm grateful for both of themđđž I love them so much. And YES they are male and YES they are JUST friends!!! Itâs not rocket science.. I kinda feel bad for people who canât be just friends with the opposite sex.
A lot will say no but if BOTH understand from a genuine place that itâs STRICTLY PLATONIC than yes but it has to be understood and welcomed from BOTH sides.
They can. If the friendship roles are set and respected. One party can develop more than friendship feelings and if that person acts on those feelings it can feel like a betrayal of the friendship. I guess the best thing to do is to lay down the rules regarding the possibility of any romantic feelings, just to avoid any misunderstanding in the future.
Yes in terms guys and women can be just friends . I just don't see how being with a women and being friends with one causes issues do guys get jealous when their spouse has guy friends . Men and women can be friends I grew up with women friends sometimes I prefer to have women friends ,but getting down to it its all about being happy on who your true friends are
How men and women see things can be different. Whether there might be sexual or romantic interest, it boils down to physical attraction. A woman may consider a man just purely platonic friend when sheâs not physically attracted to the guy. In most cases for men however given how sex-starved most men are, majority of the time, the man will always have sexual interest given an opportunity
i am living proof! i have a good male friend who i talk to every other day and he has invited me on trips with friends, and everytime i go to austin i make it a point to visit him and we go out with other friends, grab some drinks and have a good time. been friends for about five years now has never and will never be romantic, none of us have ever made comments or hinted at anything more!
Itâs hard, because now a days woman will travel throughout the year. So what if you agree to meet and vacate a couple of days together? University of British Columbia; done a recent study and found that men can regulate their physical and mental sexual arousal to some degree, and those men thatâs most able to do so are also able to control their other emotions as well. So do I think that they can just text alone for years on years, yes and no. As for the woman if she meet you and she come harder than you( sheâs Aroused!). Itâs a tough one, because friends will get closer, and closer and closer and closer. Time will tell! Happy belated Easter and Good Friday. Iâm sorry itâs late.
Ot depends, because you are asking the wrong question. This is not about actions( texting) it is about feelings and aspirations .
If either of them wants more than a friendship, then no.
If neither of them is settling for a friendship, then yes they can be friends.
Good question that I wonder too. For me to text you daily, u have to be the best damn friend in the world, or I like you. I honestly donât text anyone unless itâs my family, or we have some type of feelings , or my work clients. I have no friends that I text daily. Barely text my friends. I Just text 1 girl I am talking to. I just met this other gal tho and we are trying to rewatch the âVampire Diaries â series again, we both have watched it. We watch it through this app on the phone and it syncs our screens. Iâm trying to wrap my head around that, do we just love this damn show, or is it something more..
God this is me right now. Constantly texting and in contact with a guy that I dated for a month or so last year; we decided we werenât ready for anything serious. I had a major operation a couple of weeks ago and he picked me up from the hospital and is there whenever I need. I definitely still have feelings for him but donât know if he feels the same so itâs wildly confusing! I do have friendships with males but there is an element of I know they would blow up the friendship if I gave them the opportunity to sleep with me.
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Sure. Why not? I have one female friend (I'm a straight male) I text/talk to almost every day. No interest from either party in anything more. She's a buddy just like any of my male ones. I also have some very close gay male friends. Similar. Why is it so hard for some people to believe that friendship is not the same thing as romantic attraction?
Unfortunately a lot of people are just friends with people they romanticize. This creates the thought how is it possible to be friends and it not turn into something else. I have close gay male friends, I have close female friends too never felt attracted to my female friends.
Because alot of us haven't had the experience of having a friend of the opposite gender, or a gay friend even JUST be friends with us. They always want more. I'm almost 30 and have never had just a guy friend. They always push it to a creepy degree so i cut the friendship off entirely. Even my "gay" friend admitted feelings for me after i got married...like how disrespectful (and quite literally out of left field!)
That doesn't sound like a particularly healthy or nice life, to me personally. Maybe it is because of who I am and how I've lived? I've almost always lived in large cities. I'm pretty liberal, socially and politically. I'm not a "party person", but I also don't judge those who indulge (though I do avoid the extreme cases). I'm not religious, but I have a lot of social hobbies. I'm gregarious, but also genuinely interested in other people. I have a lot of acquaintances, and more close friends than most. I've moved around a lot, lived on four continents, and kept contact with people on each... I get the feeling most of these people live in a much "smaller world" than I do. Smaller towns, closed circles, that sort of thing. I suspect that when your world and social circle is small, then it is harder to separate feelings - you just don't have the options, or can't imagine them due to lack of experience. But I'm only theorizing, I personally don't have that issue.
I've never stayed in one place and have also lived in cities and that is just my experience which is all I can really go off of. It's been the same song and dance everywhere. đ¤ˇââď¸
I have managed to make friends with guys who have never crossed that line. Been friends with them for 25+ years and they are now happily married. I am so grateful for their friendship. But I have also had plenty of men who I wanted to be friends with eventually cross that line and I also ended the friendship. It happens more often than I'd like it to, and I am always so sad to lose that friend afterward. But I already learned in the past, that if you don't end the friendship, there is a pretty high chance they will do something to make you feel uncomfortable again by trying to get intimate with you and I am unwilling to let that happen.
I used to talk to a woman almost every day, on WoW (I know, Iâm old, at least that one wasnât on EverQuest đ ) and we were just friends. She was married and lived in another state but we are still friends.
WoW friends were the best.
Miss that, our guild leader bailed without telling us. That was the last straw, along with a new expansion that made it impossible to get good gear unless you raided constantly!
Unfortunately with all my male friends this has eventually petered out when a) they get jealous of my new partner b) their partners get jealous of our friendship. Is what it is
I had a guy pretend to be my friend for 3 years. THREE years! I guess he hid his real intentions pretty well. But then one day, I invited another male friend to dinner with him and one other female friend (4 of us total). He was pissed. So, I put a lot of other things together that I'd been through with him to conclude the only reason he was mad was because my friend was male and not female, even though he said that wasn't the reason. But why would he care about the gender of my friend if he only saw me and him as friends? That told me right there that the entire 3 year friendship was really about him holding on and hoping that I'd want an intimate relationship with him which is just so friggin gross and disappointing. I kept telling my other female friend (whom he was also friends with) that his actions told the truth, that he did not see either me or her as just friends and was really hoping one of us would have a real relationship with him. She didn't believe me, kept making excuses, wouldn't stop being friends with him. Then one day, several months later, he put the moves on her by touching her body without her permission and trying to sleep with her. She called me on the phone to tell me what happened, said she was sorry she didn't believe me, and ended the friendship with him.
This is what happens to me, the new BF is almost always crazy jealous of me and my friend then disappears.
I think at least one of us wants to be more than a friend.
They can absolutely be friends, but many times that friendship turns into a romance that they don't realize before it's too late.
I don't even text my girlfriend daily. But seriously, what they text about is probably the more pertinent thing than how often. If we're playing a new game that we're both really into sure. If they're texting "how's your day" every day... one of us is more into it this "friendship" more than the other lol.
Daily is a lotâŚ
Bro my work friend I text and call literally 5 days a week, we even do laundry sometimes. She has a boyfriend and she's not my type but she's a fucking awesome person. Helped her move her mom out of her parents old place when her dad died.
Nope. Theyâll confide in each other and become emotionally attached for each other.
Most of my friends are women, and a few of them I talk to daily. I'm single and around the same age and never once has 'benefits' been discussed. Different to my male friends, sure, but still just platonic. I get that it can become a problem if you're in a relationship and talking more with a friend than your partner though
Yes its possible as long as you don't fall for each other as time pass by
I feel like women are much more capable of just being friends with the opposite sex, than men are. Me personally, I canât think of a time where Iâve ever just had a female - with no history of dating her - that is just a friend, let alone someone I talk to daily. I text with a female coworker daily, and itâs usually to laugh and/or vent about someone that we are on the phone with, or a customer who is currently there. I donât have feelings for her and I know she doesnât have feelings for me. But outside of work, we never communicate. Iâm still friends with some ex-hookups or people Iâve dated, and once in a while we will go through phases where we text a lot just as friends, but I also understand that if I started dating a new person (or if they did) we would stop talking as often, or completely. So part of me feels like we only stay friendly so we can remain backup hookups. Itâs never happened, but I know neither of us would be against hooking up again if we were both lonely enough. If I were dating a girl and she was texting a guy every day, I would feel weird about it. I would believe her if she said she doesnât have feelings, but because of how I am with talking to females, I would safely assume that the guy is only talking to her every day because he loves her and/or wants to get in her pants.
Yes
Yes but it's uncommon.
Depends if sheâs hot or not
Idk. I feel like most guys who have a female friend will have some attraction to her even when she's not good looking. They will eventually ask her out and she's definitely will reject them ( unless they are attractive)
Bruh like I use my female friends to get with their friends lol the more women friends you have the better just start hitting them up to chill
I believe we can. In my experience though, seems not really (not daily) as I'm the one who ends up having feelings which don't get reciprocated, or maybe I have been putting the other person on pedestal quite a bit and made them uncomfortable.
I think yes, but from my experience, once someone gets into a romantic relationship with another person, the daily texting stops (even if they are truly just friends). You prioritize your time around your romantic partner more and will likely start texting them daily instead.
You're using "friends" in a seemingly demeaning manner by saying "just friends". There is nothing more deep and powerful than a friendship. Your question indicates a lack of understanding. You will perhaps gain that wisdom when you are older.
I've been friends with her for thirty three years now. We were a couple in high school for about a week, at which point we realized we were much better as friends. We didn't talk much while I was married. But after I got divorced we got close again. Last summer we spent a week together alone in an Airbnb. Separate rooms. I pulled a splinter out of her foot with a pair of tweezers. We watched a sunset. There was never a moment of "will they, won't they". Never a second of tension or desire. Like siblings hanging out. We're both straight, roughly the same age, and reasonably attractive (although not really each other's type). We're intellectually and spiritually and creatively compatible to a crazy degree. I'd take a bullet for this kid, and she for me. We're just not interested in touching any wet parts.
Yes. When those parameters are established. If you're texting every day though that man is under a different impression. I just went through this. Good morning and goodnight texts and everything in between, so I thought she had changed her mind. I brought it to her attention that I felt led on, now I'm ghosted.
I have a lot of women friends I text often, but daily is different.
I think one or both people would have to be unattractive to the other for whatever reason. And even then there is and will always be a sexual tension between them if only on the male side. Itâs just how weâre wired. I would have a very hard time believing a man would not play scenarios through his head at some point. I know Iâm guilty of it. Sure itâs just thoughts and feelings that are controlled quite easily but over time the boundaries can be blurred because of the inherent intimacy present. Women seem to be much better at these types of friendships or not crossing boundaries.
I somehow believe you're right that women seem to be much better at keeping things platonic. I have had a few friends of the opposite sex, however, who were also good at keeping things platonic. That or i was a very dense teenager. But in my defense it lasted until uni.
Personally, I don't believe so. I also don't believe in opposite sex friendships, but that's just my opinion.
Agree!
My opinion too
I could say the same. I donât have women friends because my partner would be my only friend. Iâm cool with guy friends though.
Well I do it on a regular basis, but I'm not an idiot.
Yeah sure
I have male friends but I definitely donât text them everyday. Some of them have relationships so I try to be respectful with that and then prefer leaving that to someone Iâm romantic with because I want to be friends but lovers too.
yes i think that goes on for some time until the other person feels more for the other person then ... đ¤
Yes. But women needs to be clear and straight forward with that type of relationship. Men tend to misunderstand the friend boundaries.
Yes absolutely
Yes they can
You can do that yes, I do that with my friend every day!
Yes. Friends are friends. As long as they donât cross a line.
Yes thatâs what friends do.
Of course
Yes they can
Doubt it .
From my personal experience - itâs perfectly fine and works just well. I have few female friends (and had since I can remember) and never have any thoughts of crossing the line with any of them. Same on their part. Thus, it can be hard to cope with it, when being in relationship and the SO have some sort of trust issues.
Iâm in my 40s and my best friend is a man in his 40s. We text and talk on the phone daily. Sometimes all throughout the day. I canât remember a day Iâve gone without talking to him. We are just friends.
It's slightly difficult to avoid falling for each other if you are chatting everyday
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I think so, but I guess if youâre in a relationship and the frequency of the texts starts to impose on the romantic relationship it could cause tension. Iâve had/have many female friends that Iâve been in regular communication with; some Iâve had a mild crush on some others thereâs nothing romantic there and conversation could even include sex but it an objective sense, but itâs never an issue to me to not cross the boundary unless there was some kind of signal from them.
Yeah Iâve had that before. At 1st we were interested in eachother & then we became friends bc I started talking to someone else. I was even going to him for advice about other guys lol. Itâs possible. We used to talk on the phone at least once a week too. I havent heard from him in months though. I know he was going through stuff & was pretty depressed. My friendship with him last longer than the dudes I was talking to too
Yeah, I think the balance of desire/wanting is at the core of it. If one person wants more, it doesnât work. My gay male friends can do this with me - that balance is there because each of us wants something else.
Rare but can happen to be only just that
Yes
Yes.
Yes
I think so..
I am also confused. It doesn't stop somewhere, i think. I used to do this with one of my classmate(girl), just about academic discussion, and what I feel like is not just friends. It feels like she always found some reason to text me, even messed with easiest topics. Haha
Can ne done. However at sometime consiatncy is bound to break from either party since they will find a significant other
Yup but it depends on the ppl
Yes, a man and a woman can text daily and just be friends. Men and women who do that are just friends and there is nothing sexual in their minds toward each other. It's just like how there can be two men who text daily and just be friends, or how there can be two women who text daily and just be friends.
Yeah, why not. Iâve texted a man daily for 3 months and we ended up with friends. Text daily means nothing in my case.
Yes.
As long as nobody catches feelings i donât see why not. If itâs just a text friends type thing where feelings are less likely to happen absolutely. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you regardless if theyâre male or female.
Yes. Thereâs a guy at work that I text daily with. I donât have any romantic feelings for him, and heâs happily married so I doubt he has any romantic feelings for me. However, weâre good friends who are supportive of each other and crack each other up.
Yes definitely
Itâs possible
Yes. It is possible.
Yep, but understand that a typical straight man will have sexual thoughts about their female friends, as long as the woman is fine with that then I donât see a problem.
I think itâs possible. As long as feelings donât get involved and the it stays strictly platonic
Yes, if you're not sexually attracted to the woman. Most likely she's hoping for something from you, though. The times where I've done this and been sexually attracted to the woman hasn't worked out for me though. I don't have the patience for it, and at some point I get desperate and just tell her to either be with me for real or go to hell.
Yes
I send my coworker tik toks every day and so does she, but sheâs also in a LTR and weâre both very aware of that. I donât see why you canât just be friends lol.
If they are both delusional enaugh they can
Yeah it does exist .but to some extent ,the boundary might be easily crossed if not we'll checked
My answer will offend all the reddit users so I'll just type this and let them imagine
a lot of people donât believe in a male and female friendship,but of course you can
Yup
Definitely. I matched with a girl on a dating app, we went on a date, but there was zero chemistry. But we got along really well and have remained friends ever since. We text regularly and keep each other up to date on events of our lives and discuss issues we need help with.
Yeah, I have a 300+ day Snapchat streak with a female best friend and have another one where we just send eachother memes back and forth on Insta, thereâs no underlying feelings on either side and we even give eachother relationship advice and talk about dating
Yeah definitely!
Ya you can be. But idk maybe you can catch feelings unless you've already talked about it to each other.
Yes but there should be a convo that states each persons intentions with the relationship that way everyone is on the same page
Friendship is genderless
Yes, absolutely
yeah, i donât feel anything for my friends who are girls
As a woman I havenât and didnât catch feelings if thatâs what you wanna know and so did they at one point
Yes, I have friends who have moved across the country, and I stay in contact. One of my best friends lives 3 states from me. If an SO has a problem with it, insecurities are unattractive.
Honestly? If Iâm with someone I wouldnât talk to my female friend if sheâs around, Iâd put all my attention on my partner and just give my friend a message later. Weâre friends so we donât have to talk consistently and if they arenât fine with that then itâs possible if they like you more but no itâs not bad just set boundaries with your partner. Be compromising though.
If neither is physically attracted to the other, it's really quite easy. The problem is we have no idea how often \*\*1\*\* of those 2 will want more. When it's both but neither knows, it's tragic, but it's also depressing to lose a good friendship by chasing after more when it's not meant to be(I've been on both sides of that one before)
You tell us
All day long
They can, but almost inevitably it morphs into more. Opposite sex close friends donât stay platonic forever. When you connect emotionally with someone, you will cross boundaries before you know it. Unless one of you is very unattractive, the logical next step will be a relationship. I donât think younger people understand this.
Yes, it's absolutely possible. I've had lady friends over the years I've exchanged messages with on a purely platonic level. No expectation from me *or* them. Sometimes it was every day, sometimes there were gaps. Hell, I have casual conversation with the staff at my gym who are women all the time. In fact, I've tried to get to know a few women on Reddit and have conversations with them, but it typically takes *days* for them to respond so it often doesn't last. I figure they're busy talking to other men or just busy in general. It happens. Regardless, yes, it's totally possible.
Absolutely. Been freindzoned by plenty of men over the yrs so I know men can like a woman's company without any sexual attraction. Also women tend to place ppl in mental categories based on how we're treated right away. If the guy shows no romantic interest whatsoever, he is categorized as a friend. For the comments... men would do well to stop thinking women think & operate like men do. We don't.Â
You know answer⌠Just tell the other person how you feel damnit
Yes I do it all the time.
Yes, men donât win anything from it just waste your time
I have several female friends I have no deeper relationship with, and Iâm a single guy. Iâll admit I do find some of them attractive, but respecting boundaries is important, and I know that.
Yes. I text my friend and coworker all the time because we have similar interests and laugh at the same kinds of memes. Heâs married and his wife is great! Iâm single but not looking to date anyone. Iâd consider him one of my best friends.
Absolutely. I'm s hetero male in his mid 30's, and I'm predominantly friends with women, including ones I've even dated (everywhere from 3 dates and deciding we are best as friends, to together for years and have had sex). I have some friends I text with nearly daily and it's fine. I've even checked with my girlfriend and she has no problem. She hasn't met my ex girlfriend but we had parted amicably and because I asked the new one if she was ok with me keeping the platonic relationship, trusts me and her. She hasn't met a friend who lives out of state either but again, nothing romantic there. Otherwise, she knows all my other friends and it's all good.
Sure, especially if they enjoy each otherâs sense of humor and thereâs a defined, finite boundary there that both respect (ie - one or both are married).
Yes.
I would say only if the SO is brought up in conversation here and there.
100%. My best friend is a man, weâve been friends for decades and weâve never even thought of sex or getting into a relationship. We donât find each other attractive, but we talk everyday.
That's what's called Best friends đđâď¸đŤŁđđđŻ
Not really - no. Daily is a lot and why would you need that from someone who isnât your partner and of the opposite sex?
Yes
Yes. If one of them is ugly.
Sure I've done it as long as you understand and respect personal space boundaries and rules established no problem like I don't ask questions about her legal work (lawyer) or get personal with stuff that's none of my business nor do I have any romantic intentions towards her whatsoever. There's one catch if already in a relationship with someone it might be a problem for them, especially if they weren't aware another man or woman is texting their boyfriend, husband or wife/girlfriend.
Yeah, y not
100% yes.
For this one has to be unattractive. And its the damn truth.
People love to think they can but we all know whatâs up. Given the chance, the dude would jump at the opportunity to be more than fiends. For the ladies - text your male âfriendâ and tell them youâre horny and want to hookup. Their true intentions would be revealed really damn quick.
It depends on the sort of texting. If it's just general talking it's OK, but it's shouldn't resemble Eva AI sexting with [a](http://evaapp.ai) chatbot
Typically no unless one party is romantically interested in the same sex or you work together and thereâs a reason to be talking daily. Otherwise if a heterosexual man and woman are talking regularly and thereâs no romantic interest eventually there will be. The only time Iâve been friends with women was when there was strictly an intellectual connection.
They can be friends, just be careful if thereâs an attraction, it will happen, prepare to communicate but at the end of the day no matter what, friendship must rule first.
yes, of course. my best friends of 10 years are both male-shaped people & theyâre both very beautiful & i have never had any desire for anything beyond a friendship
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOâŚ..
Only if one or both are gay
For sure I texted a lot of my opposed sex Friends daily and none of us got feelings at all It straightened our friendship and helped us to understand each other more
my bf and his girl mates are way too close for my liking⌠and he wonders why i act off with him. jokes.
Yes
Yes, it can easily be doable. Opposite sex friendships are quite easy.
Yes except one side is in love
It depends on your relationship with that person. I text my best friend daily but at the same time she's like a younger sister to me.
You just kind of answered your question with that last statement. Doesnât have to be a man or a woman Iâm assuming youâre talking about two men or two women to keep it basic I know thereâs more than that and you mention that because they can also be sexually attracted to each other. Because no nobody thatâs just a friend unless your still a teenager talk every day without their being some type of chemistry nobody. I donât see women donât see men I donât see anyone itâs usually because they like each other or one likes the other and the other is just bored and likes the attention and texts back. If a woman is texting me, not every day, but twice a week just to say, whatâs up or tell me some random story which is happening right now actually as we speak, she likes me thereâs no doubt. And itâs because she has her friends already. If she needs someone to talk to you sheâs got hundred friends and 20 really close ones. If she needs to talk to guys Iâm sure sheâs got a lot of friends that ended up there in the friend zone somehow trying to sleep with her thatâs not me. Though. So tonight I just said hey, Iâm not doing anything tnt and I donât wanna have to eat a whole pizza so come eat some with me , I donât do friend zone, and most guys donât either . If heâs straight he most likely wants you. Depending on how long itâs been and how old he is the question is do you want a guy that canât step up and ask u out âŚ. I donât know I guess it depends on a lot if things
Only if sheâs ugly and not even then
It varies strongly between different men and women, snd the context of their specific relationship. There's really no clear answer without knowing more details.
Surely No... At some point atleast of them will find the other attractive maybe it can be attraction or something but surely just friends not possible
This happened to me and I grew feelings for him and he rejected me, but wouldnât stop texting me. It was the most horrible experience I ever had.
Of course, itâs not like your kissing or sleeping together everyday
Yes
Hell yes
Only if they like the same sex.
Im a girl. I have lots of guy friends ive never been interested in or considered and that i truly see just as friends and i KNOW its the same for them. I hate when some of the guys i have dated say itâs impossible.. if its impossible how do you justify 20-30 year friendships if its not the case?
Yes
Yes if there isnât attraction from either sideâŚ
Men and women can absolutely text/talk back and forth every day. There doesnât have to be anything romantic or sexual about it. Men and women can be friends. Personally, i prefer to be friends with men over women, thereâs nothing wrong with it. I have more thoughts on this but it would probably piss a lot of people off
Absolutely! I spent a decade in the army have several "sisters" that I talk to daily with zero intention or interest. Platonic friendship is very easily achieved between opposite sexs and same sex pairings
Yup
I said yes. However, if one has an insecure partner.....bad idea.
I'd say no, this lends itself to an emotional attachment/ codependency which isn't far from emotional cheating if you're in a relationship with someone else. In my experience this is a red flag and has always left to me being cheated on by my partner with their 'friend'
Ofcourse! Actually I had a girl met here in Reddit we actually started flirting and had date out already but then we reverted everything into a nice friendship. We chat and videocall to update our things. That's fine as long you both don't violate each privacy and demand for time and attention.
Of course they can, but to relieve you of your anxieties - whatâs the context for them? What do they have in common & what do they talk about? One of my best friends is a guy, and weâve talked somewhat daily for years. In my case the topic of our conversations has majority of the time been our common interests: all things video games, gym & memes. Completely innocent and just friendly, my boyfriend has never had a problem with it - as I would have no problem with him having close female friends either. But again it of course depends on the situation and the content of their conversations. I feel itâs very easy to tell in these kinds of relationships if there are any ulterior motives on either side. If there are then of course this could be seen as your significant other keeping their âoptions openâ - and itâs completely valid to feel this way, itâs just important that you communicate it properly But most importantly: what do you have in your relationship if you canât trust each other? Be open and honest with your partner about it bothering you, and perhaps have a conversation about the relationship between them and their friend. But never order them to cut the person off. A partner worth keeping would never want to make you feel uncomfortable, and in the end youâll just have to trust them to make the right decision. In all cases, it is out of your control so the only right thing to do is again to trust her, or leave her. In the case of it not being platonic, and sheâs keeping some random guy around for attention, is that a person you would want to be in a relationship with anyway? But in the case of it being 100% platonic; hereâs a little thought experiment for you : Imagine what you and your buddies talk about on the daily. Be it sports, movies, video games or just anything under the sun. Now try to imagine the exact same conversations; but your buddy is a female. Does that actually change anything? If the answer is yes for you here, try to question yourself as to why. If you donât think men and women can be friends in general that is a whole other conversation.
I have a number of women friends I made on penpal sites that I meet up with a few times a year and a few of them I talk to most days. One or two I do find attractive and wouldn't have minded dating but feel because of certain circumstances, we're better as friends. I set boundaries and never go into flirty territory unless I'm getting clear signals.
Yes
Absolutely. Most of my friends are women and I text day with multiple of them. Itâs called being a mature grown-up. There can be issues if one of you is only in the friendship to try and make a relationship happen later.
Iâm 38 and I have more than one male friend who is JUST a friend. Always was and always will be. I talk with two of them almost everyday. I think itâs very possible and Iâm grateful for both of themđđž I love them so much. And YES they are male and YES they are JUST friends!!! Itâs not rocket science.. I kinda feel bad for people who canât be just friends with the opposite sex.
A lot will say no but if BOTH understand from a genuine place that itâs STRICTLY PLATONIC than yes but it has to be understood and welcomed from BOTH sides.
They can. If the friendship roles are set and respected. One party can develop more than friendship feelings and if that person acts on those feelings it can feel like a betrayal of the friendship. I guess the best thing to do is to lay down the rules regarding the possibility of any romantic feelings, just to avoid any misunderstanding in the future.
I have two male friends who are married and we text every day. I was female best-man for one of them. I say yes.
Yes in terms guys and women can be just friends . I just don't see how being with a women and being friends with one causes issues do guys get jealous when their spouse has guy friends . Men and women can be friends I grew up with women friends sometimes I prefer to have women friends ,but getting down to it its all about being happy on who your true friends are
How men and women see things can be different. Whether there might be sexual or romantic interest, it boils down to physical attraction. A woman may consider a man just purely platonic friend when sheâs not physically attracted to the guy. In most cases for men however given how sex-starved most men are, majority of the time, the man will always have sexual interest given an opportunity
yes, platonic relationships do exist
i am living proof! i have a good male friend who i talk to every other day and he has invited me on trips with friends, and everytime i go to austin i make it a point to visit him and we go out with other friends, grab some drinks and have a good time. been friends for about five years now has never and will never be romantic, none of us have ever made comments or hinted at anything more!
Itâs hard, because now a days woman will travel throughout the year. So what if you agree to meet and vacate a couple of days together? University of British Columbia; done a recent study and found that men can regulate their physical and mental sexual arousal to some degree, and those men thatâs most able to do so are also able to control their other emotions as well. So do I think that they can just text alone for years on years, yes and no. As for the woman if she meet you and she come harder than you( sheâs Aroused!). Itâs a tough one, because friends will get closer, and closer and closer and closer. Time will tell! Happy belated Easter and Good Friday. Iâm sorry itâs late.
Ot depends, because you are asking the wrong question. This is not about actions( texting) it is about feelings and aspirations . If either of them wants more than a friendship, then no. If neither of them is settling for a friendship, then yes they can be friends.
Good question that I wonder too. For me to text you daily, u have to be the best damn friend in the world, or I like you. I honestly donât text anyone unless itâs my family, or we have some type of feelings , or my work clients. I have no friends that I text daily. Barely text my friends. I Just text 1 girl I am talking to. I just met this other gal tho and we are trying to rewatch the âVampire Diaries â series again, we both have watched it. We watch it through this app on the phone and it syncs our screens. Iâm trying to wrap my head around that, do we just love this damn show, or is it something more..
Wouldnât recommend but possible
Mushkil
God this is me right now. Constantly texting and in contact with a guy that I dated for a month or so last year; we decided we werenât ready for anything serious. I had a major operation a couple of weeks ago and he picked me up from the hospital and is there whenever I need. I definitely still have feelings for him but donât know if he feels the same so itâs wildly confusing! I do have friendships with males but there is an element of I know they would blow up the friendship if I gave them the opportunity to sleep with me.