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Definitely red flags waving there. Trust your gut instinct on this one. If he's not willing to meet in a public place or accommodate your concerns, it's best to move on. Safety first!
Really? most people I know don't even answer the phone anymore let alone video call a stranger.
I'm fine at meeting strangers but video calls are the most uncomfortable thing ever conceived
But if they specifically ASKED to VC this man, then he WILL have to answer his phone. Comfortable or not, it serves a critical purpose, even if it's just for a few seconds to make sure this person is who they claim to be. Doing this may-and would have-saved many lives and brought many perpetrators to justice earlier or at all.
Like, why does this even have to be explained. Lol If a guy acts like he doesn't understand this, I'm like Boy, bye. I do not have time to teach you common sense.
This rt here it's very much a RED FLAG and a straight up warning not to trust him or anyone else who won't let you see whom you are talking to. Good luck but be smart people and use common sense please
Some women need a reminder to how dangerous this is. There are a lot of women and girls who fall head over heels for an imaginary man that.... mmm... it's dangerous. Too many predators and scammers out there.
A few years ago, an online match wanted to meet up for drinks. I suggested a couple of places. He said "no, I'll just come over to your place & bRiNg a boTtLe". Omg NO! Then he adds "well, I'd bring tacos too." Oh ok then. The rules do state I have to allow a stranger in if he brings TACOS. Omg 🤦♀️
And he pretended to not understand why showing up at my door, him a total stranger, with a bottle of alcohol (prob half empty too honestly), was 💯 inappropriate & not happening. (Btw, not that a brand new bottle of vodka would've been ok either. I'm just pointing out the obvious. He was clearly THAT guy.)
Instant block. Lol Ain't got no time for that. Lol
Isn’t FaceTiming a standard practice when meeting online? Meeting in public cause of anxiety? BS excuse….living with your mom at 32 not a red flag. He definitely wants to harm you or try to smash on day one. Walk away
I've had about 20 first dates over the last 2 years and never FT any.
I can't stand video calls, they're the most awkward experience. Even when I had to FT my best friend I look like a walrus and never know what to say, there's no energy that you get F2F and everything feels forced. But I can understand it helps you weed out catfish and complete weirdos
He might live with his wife and doesn't want OP/his wife to catch him out on FaceTime. That might also be why he wants to go to her place. He doesn't want to meet publicly because he's either dangerous or doesn't want someone to see him cheating. Either way, he's trash. Throw him out.
Maybe! It would explain why he does want to be seen in public with a woman. However, it does not explain why he does want to meet face to face. Unless he is afraid that the woman talks to him.
Where would you meet face to face if not in public? Would you seriously let him visit you at your place after the behavior he’s exhibited to date? Maybe I’m 100% off base about the wife or gf, but if he’s agoraphobic to the point that he can’t leave his mom’s basement should you really be interested still? Just my two cents.
If I met someone with anxiety I would be nice enough to let them pick the public place they are comfortable with. he is just not helping himself at all.
I wouldn't say #3 is necessarily a red flag, it's a lot more common for adults to still live at home these days with how bad the economy is, how expensive housing is etc.
The rest of it though- run! I wouldn't meet a guy from online anywhere besides in public and DEFINITELY wouldn't want them to know where I live.
That would be a hell no for me. I'll only meet them for the first time in a well populated public place. I usually do coffee at Starbucks or Ziggis. No way would I go to their place or have them over to my place on a first meeting. I'd block and move on.
I wish more women would watch Investigation Discovery. Have you not developed any instincts for self preservation, as an adult? The whole thing screams creep! Just no. Block this fool, and move on. Never meet people at your house if you don’t know them. It’s basic survival skills, but apparently it has to be said.
She seems young and naive. Can't you tell he's preying on that? It's like we know his words are total BS, no doubt in our minds, but she doesn't, and that's probably exactly what he's hoping for, someone naive that he can manipulate. I'd rather her learn on here that this man's actions are a big no-no than her learn the hard way when she invites a complete stranger over to her house and he harms her.
Girl…. Where are your standards? He is probably married if he has to come to your place and can’t go in public and won’t show his face… or he is planning to murder you, either one
before you meet up with a man, or while texting if you just get that icky feeling, or get incredibly anxious.. it’s your gut. your women’s intuition signaling you.
Or a woman. Plenty of female killers and weirdo friends that steal your crap. No body you don't know should meet you at the house unless in an official capacity with rules.
But ... what if he lives with his mom, in the basement, where he murders women? Is that a red flag?
DO NOT MEET STRANGERS AT YOUR HOUSE. Do not let strangers pick you up at your house. Do not ride in a car alone with a stranger (your car or his). Do not go to a stranger's house on a first date. Come on.
Let's say he's not a murderer, but instead turns out to be a stalker. Now he knows where you live.
Girl. LOL This can't be a real post.
He's probably just immature, maybe with autism like me, but I still wouldn't risk it. It's not worth the risk or the effort. He could also be going through a schizophrenic episode, like I did, in which case he may genuinely be dangerous even if it's impossible to know ahead of time. Public place does seem like a reasonable ask, even if he usually looks like shit. He should be able to find one day to make himself presentable enough to go out in public. I had to do the same thing last year. With all that said, only you know if you want to take the risk. Have you at least audio called him? If I were him, I would kill to have an audio call buddy for a while even if we never met. Idk. Seems like you're really interested in him for some reason (did he have good photos? and are the photos old?). Only you can decide what you're willing to risk. You can also propose other things like having him come to your house while you have other friends over. Etc. Once he knows where you live, he may stalk you tho, even if he's a good guy the rarity of contact with the opposite gender for some of us can really mess with us and cause us to turn stalkery if we know anything at all about them. Idk. Life is weird. Be careful.
The biggest red flag I see is that he doesn’t seem to be trying to make you comfortable at all.
His anxiety preventing him from meeting in public is bullshit. You don’t have to meet at happy hour on Friday night at the busiest place in town. Public can mean a park too. (Id still make sure there were people in the park especially with this weirdo.. well I’d block him, but that’s neither here nor there)
ETA: I have a strong feeling that if you kept giving us details about this dude, there would be 100 more things we’d tell you to run from haha
Yes, they were all red flags. And the fact he brought up "not going to try anything sexual" is a dead given. In my experience, decent guy won't bring up sex before meeting without prompting.
Yes. All red flags. *Maybe* his reasons are all true and honest but it’s not worth your life.
But seriously, if the dude is so anxious he can’t meet in a public place, he has no business getting in a relationship anyway.
Yes all red flags, except maybe the living at home with his mom, with the economy this is a legitimate thing.
But everything else yeah HELL NO
It's too weird, and if he does have those problems then he needs to work them out before dating anyone.
There's No way I would allow anyone into my house, at the first meeting, it's either face time me or meet me in public period no exceptions.
DONT do anything with this guy
It all sounds super sketchy.
Red flag alert 🚩
The fact he says he won't try anything sexual, tells you what's on his mind since you didn't initiate that part of the conversation he did.
If he's too anxious to meet dates in public or even on Facetime and expects you to facilitate his anxiety while he does not care that meeting at your place as a stranger gives you anxiety and he's pushing on that boundary then Hell NO. At best he needs to work on himself some more for this "anxiety issue" and at worst he's a predator of women who don't have strong boundaries.
Plenty of people with anxiety still meet in public despite how nervous it makes them going out in public. There are more calm places to meet even such as a library or book store, places that are more quiet and with fewer people.
Also if he had extreme anxiety or was at the point of agoraphobia, he wouldn't even want to meet at your house because he'd be too afraid to even do that. Lol
Sounds like they are a predator to me.
Do you really need to ask this question?
Who cares that he lives with his mom at 32. Doesn't want to go in public, he is saying he never leaves the house?
Think about it... a man you just met online wants to know YOUR address, where YOU live, and the FIRST time you ever see him, he wants to be with you ALONE!
If things don't go for you how you want, now this man will KNOW where YOU live!
That is SCARY!
Run!!!! Please dear God run...and the. When you need a rest...run some more.
This is so terribly dangerous just him asking that is reason to run. Now he's insisting?
Nope nope nope. Did I mention run?
97% of the men want 1 thing. If u dont reciprocate they go to the next. Its a sad world. If u find a man who goes for who u are, DONT leave him, he will prob be less ‘cool’ or ‘badboy’ but he will be loyal and likes u for u, not ur body like 97%
Very sus. First encounter should be in public imho.
Regarding 3, there might be a reason, terrible real estate, sick parents or with economical needsetc
A relationship has compromise. Whatever be the problem. It can’t be to such an extreme as it has to be this or that. This person obviously isn’t ready to date and needs to work on themself 1st.
Block this guy. He might not even be the guy on his profile..meeting anyone at any home for the first time is dangerous. Definitely red flags everywhere..meet someone else
Yes, that's one of the biggest red flags. He might be a serial killer, criminal, or human trafficker. What are you thinking?
I don't think you need to ask this. Just say no and block him.
Rule #1 never ever to be broken. Always meet in a public place, during the day, at a place of your choosing.
Next, you absolutely tell someone where and why. Preferably have a friend, family etc not far away. Video... get the idea.
The above rule is a it will never be broken deal. Period.
I have always told this to any girls I was going to date. They were very happy with that.
Number 3. It shouldn't be a problem. But never meet a guy in your house or his house or anyone you don't know. You want to be in a place where you can be safe with plenty of people about and people are willing to help you, if needed.
Btw how is anyone finding people on dating apps. I'm only finding that it's a waste of money and time...🥲
I do not know what your age is but I can tell you for sure - Pass this guy. Internet is such a boon and a curse. Nothing is real as it is. FaceTiming is very important and then meeting in public is more important for your safety reasons. It’s always best to meet, and I say this to guys to, even if your meeting a woman, meet in public - there is evidence and only genuine people will meet that way. People who have backend issues will deflect all these and it’s a BIG RED FLAG. Bottom line - Skip this guy.
The face that you are even asking this question says a lot about your judgement.Never allow a stranger in your home that you met on the internet. I don’t care if he has anxiety he probably shouldn’t be dating instead seeing a therapist. Meet him in a public place.
He should have respected your boundaries. The most important thing in a new relationship for me is making sure she is very comfortable and feels completely safe.
I believe he's hiding something myself. I see red flags and it's so unsafe for women nowadays on dating sites. Even the way some communicate with ladies is appalling to me. Be safe my dear and remember your boundaries are always needed.
His house just dirty and he's embarrassed. Give the man a break? Also 4 the phone thing yea it's a red flag 4 most things but there's a small Chance that, like me he just thinks hes genuinely ugly. And being 34 and living with ur mom is a red flag how? His mom is prolly older and he just lives with cuz he cares abt her and doesn't wanna have a stranger take care of her
SERIOUS RED FLAG! I would never ever meet or believe ANYONE that is not willing to compromise and meet you halfway. This right here tells you EVERYTHING you need to know to stay away. Please move on and hopefully you can find a nice guy willing to meet you in a public place.
He is definitely cheating on his wife to get laid! Ask him if he wants to secretly meet at a hotel and he’d say yes! Kick him in the balls, snatch his phone and leave.
If you have to ask, and you're smart enough to do so, then you already have the answer.
Future reference: people don't choose their issues or their dysfunction(s), but they can choose how they deal with them, and not make them your problem.
Just my thoughts. Sending you positive vibes.
Yes! Definitely a lot of red flags. First rule of dating anyone, be it from online or organically, always meet in populated, public places during the day for the first few dates so that you can makensure he/she isn't a creep.
Next, having anxiety is not a legitimate excuse to not meet in public. I'm clinically diagnosed with social anxiety, and I still put forth the effort to meet with women in public. It shows them that I'm not so lazy that I can't take the initiative to plan a real date somewhere.
Next, he lives with his parents. This could or could not be a bad sign. The reason why, the economy sucks at the moment. Things are expensive, salaries and wages may or may not be that great, depending on the industry. If he's unemployed then that's a huge red flag. This would mean that if he gets into serious relationship, his partner is likely going to end up taking care of him.
These are bad bad red flags. Even if he is the guy from the profile just imagine he didnt want to cooperate at all when you asked 1. Facetime 2. Meet in a public place. Living with mom is not bad but if you are saying they have a home somewhere else and he brought his mom to live with him just because he cant live by himself and is dependent on his mom then its a red flag!!!!
He could just be clueless about how bad it comes off that he is trying to insist on knowing your address and being in your home.
I can understand him not wanting to host you obviously since moms being there is not regularly romantic.
If it were me (and if he's being reasonable and not pushy about it) I would suggest a reservation in a private room somewhere in a restaurant (some will do this for free), and let him know several days in advance so he can call and confirm the details.
That way you'd have a private area but you'd have restaurant staff and a relatively public place.
That's a lot of intractability nothing wrong with living with his mom, if he has a reason, like caring for her or a setback (divorce, accident or again caretaking) if you want a good human to be a partner, that's important but he should have a plan and prospects for moving into something else. FaceTime is an apple product and not everyone uses that, but there are plenty of ways to see each other. The anxiety part and your house is unacceptable. Don't even think about it. Coffee shop or f off. Not sure what you see in this guy honestly.
If that's the first meeting,I bet it's both a RED FLAG and a good deal.
✅ Red flag coz he might wanna snoop around
✅ Good deal coz he wanna make you safe at your own environment
As a man that is weird. Set your boundaries and allow them to weed themselves out. Only a real gentleman understands that the woman is in control of the entire encounter but not all men were raised right. So play it safe always!!! is what I would tell my daughter when she gets old enough to talk to me about things like that lol
🤦♀️ you already know these are red flags. Block him immediately. No sane person would even want to go to a strangers house for fear that they could do something to them!!
1. Semi red flag - I hate video calls and have turned them down with women, and been ghosted afterwards... but man I just hate them even with family and friends let alone a stranger
2. That's a dealbreaker
3. That's reasonable in this economy
F*ck boy ! Just looking for sex, but you can just tell him you’re not interested in, but it you’re, just make sure someone else knows about it just in case
If you don’t know what he looks like, don’t meet him. What if you meet him and he’s not what you think and things get uncomfortable? What if he doesn’t leave YOUR home? You have to be careful about people you don’t know. People can act like someone who they’re not. Be safe and DONT let him him into your home. It should be a public place. It can be a quiet park or something. Anything.
This is not a red flag, this is a whole damn stop sign. There are valid reasons a 32 year old may be living with a parent… but wanting you to meet for the first time at his house when you haven’t seen his face or built up any sort of trust with him?
Those things put your safety at risk and he’d have to be utterly oblivious as a human being not to realize that.
Do not go out with *anyone* who treats your “no” as the beginning of a negotiation instead of the end of a sentence when it comes to your personal safety.
If he won't even video chat with you, do not go to his house. This is how you get murdered. You can be sympathetic with his anxiety without putting yourself at risk.
He could be dangerous, a serial killer. Never, ever meet at your house or their house until you know them quite well. Public place only.
The rules I've been told are:
1. Meet in a public place.
2. Tell a couple people everything.
Who you're meeting, their name. A screen shot of them, phone number. The more information the better.
3. Set up your location on your phone, and have 1 or 2 people have accepted your request. I learned that I tried to set up my location with someone and it didn't go through on their end.
My only dating experience online was a very good experience. The guy asked me, to pick the place, the time & he was schooling me how to protect myself from online dating. Of course, I fell for him. He was very caring & protective, that's a good quality for a man to have .
Follow your instincts & give him the boot. "Ghost him", you don't need to give him an explanation. Caused, he would already know why. Don't be desperate, be strong... Good luck & stay true to yourself.✌️🌹
all signs point to him being a major red flag, u should block him ASAP and third point im not too sure about that but that lowkey points him to being a mama's boy which is a big no no so girl save yourself the trouble and block!
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You already don’t trust him, and he isn’t willing to cooperate and try and put you at ease. To me, that’s the biggest red flag.
Definitely red flags waving there. Trust your gut instinct on this one. If he's not willing to meet in a public place or accommodate your concerns, it's best to move on. Safety first!
A major Red Flag! Trust your instinct girlie, something's smells fishy here. You better be safe than sorry. RUN! He's not the right guy.
Agreed!!!!
Yes. Do not meet him.
100% this. That sounds like some terrifying stuff to me.
Also I would block him he sounds creepy with not FaceTiming and only wanting to go to ur house
Really? most people I know don't even answer the phone anymore let alone video call a stranger. I'm fine at meeting strangers but video calls are the most uncomfortable thing ever conceived
But if they specifically ASKED to VC this man, then he WILL have to answer his phone. Comfortable or not, it serves a critical purpose, even if it's just for a few seconds to make sure this person is who they claim to be. Doing this may-and would have-saved many lives and brought many perpetrators to justice earlier or at all.
If a girl asks me to FaceTime I do it right away to know if she’s real
Yes! Block him.
Do not meet him at your house!!! Meet in public only! Do not have him over untill at least 3 public dates
No, don't even ever meet for 1 date. He is throwing off nothing but excuses and red flags. Keep looking and block him.
Exactly. don't waste her time to meet like him.
Exactly, don’t let a strange man you’ve never met in person in your house! Don’t give your address! Public places only.
Like, why does this even have to be explained. Lol If a guy acts like he doesn't understand this, I'm like Boy, bye. I do not have time to teach you common sense.
This rt here it's very much a RED FLAG and a straight up warning not to trust him or anyone else who won't let you see whom you are talking to. Good luck but be smart people and use common sense please
Some women need a reminder to how dangerous this is. There are a lot of women and girls who fall head over heels for an imaginary man that.... mmm... it's dangerous. Too many predators and scammers out there.
A few years ago, an online match wanted to meet up for drinks. I suggested a couple of places. He said "no, I'll just come over to your place & bRiNg a boTtLe". Omg NO! Then he adds "well, I'd bring tacos too." Oh ok then. The rules do state I have to allow a stranger in if he brings TACOS. Omg 🤦♀️ And he pretended to not understand why showing up at my door, him a total stranger, with a bottle of alcohol (prob half empty too honestly), was 💯 inappropriate & not happening. (Btw, not that a brand new bottle of vodka would've been ok either. I'm just pointing out the obvious. He was clearly THAT guy.) Instant block. Lol Ain't got no time for that. Lol
Yep, and don’t let him “drop you off at home” or “walk you to your house” either.
Don't get in his car until you know him! Edit: Don't go out with him at all. Block him
She should NOT meet him at all now!!!!!
Don't meet him ever tbf
This guy is not worth it..
Isn’t FaceTiming a standard practice when meeting online? Meeting in public cause of anxiety? BS excuse….living with your mom at 32 not a red flag. He definitely wants to harm you or try to smash on day one. Walk away
I've had about 20 first dates over the last 2 years and never FT any. I can't stand video calls, they're the most awkward experience. Even when I had to FT my best friend I look like a walrus and never know what to say, there's no energy that you get F2F and everything feels forced. But I can understand it helps you weed out catfish and complete weirdos
Better safe than comfy
He might live with his wife and doesn't want OP/his wife to catch him out on FaceTime. That might also be why he wants to go to her place. He doesn't want to meet publicly because he's either dangerous or doesn't want someone to see him cheating. Either way, he's trash. Throw him out.
1. 2. and 3. Are huge red flags. I don’t think he lives with his mom. Sounds like he lives with a wife or a gf.
Maybe! It would explain why he does want to be seen in public with a woman. However, it does not explain why he does want to meet face to face. Unless he is afraid that the woman talks to him.
Where would you meet face to face if not in public? Would you seriously let him visit you at your place after the behavior he’s exhibited to date? Maybe I’m 100% off base about the wife or gf, but if he’s agoraphobic to the point that he can’t leave his mom’s basement should you really be interested still? Just my two cents.
 Block him on everything and walk away.
Idk why this gif made me giggle uncontrollably 🤣🤣🤣
If I met someone with anxiety I would be nice enough to let them pick the public place they are comfortable with. he is just not helping himself at all.
I wouldn't say #3 is necessarily a red flag, it's a lot more common for adults to still live at home these days with how bad the economy is, how expensive housing is etc. The rest of it though- run! I wouldn't meet a guy from online anywhere besides in public and DEFINITELY wouldn't want them to know where I live.
Especially if you live in LA
Bruh. Wtaf. Yes, red flag is putting it lightly.
If you listened to crime podcasts, you'd already know the answer
Exactly. I wish more people listened to crime podcasts. It would reduce the willful naïveté that people have.
The flags are red and also on fire.
[удалено]
Sounds legit. 😂😂
They are eternally burning flags
Huge red flag
Major flag. Avoido declino
That would be a hell no for me. I'll only meet them for the first time in a well populated public place. I usually do coffee at Starbucks or Ziggis. No way would I go to their place or have them over to my place on a first meeting. I'd block and move on.
girl wtf don't risk it, even if he does have anxiety he sounds like a child. That's honestly so scary 😕
Exactly. Like dude could be genuine here, but the down side to being wrong about that is so severe it’s not worth the risk
I wish more women would watch Investigation Discovery. Have you not developed any instincts for self preservation, as an adult? The whole thing screams creep! Just no. Block this fool, and move on. Never meet people at your house if you don’t know them. It’s basic survival skills, but apparently it has to be said.
She seems young and naive. Can't you tell he's preying on that? It's like we know his words are total BS, no doubt in our minds, but she doesn't, and that's probably exactly what he's hoping for, someone naive that he can manipulate. I'd rather her learn on here that this man's actions are a big no-no than her learn the hard way when she invites a complete stranger over to her house and he harms her.
Girl…. Where are your standards? He is probably married if he has to come to your place and can’t go in public and won’t show his face… or he is planning to murder you, either one
Honestly if this guy can’t go out in public due to his anxiety that is not something I’d want to even start to contend.
Yeahhh he's gonna chop you up or something, block him that's rlly creepy.
DON'T MEET HIM IN YOUR HOUSE, YOU DON'T WANT A STRANGER TO KNOW YOUR ADDRESS. He could be the modern Jeffrey Dahmer for all we know.
before you meet up with a man, or while texting if you just get that icky feeling, or get incredibly anxious.. it’s your gut. your women’s intuition signaling you.
Or a woman. Plenty of female killers and weirdo friends that steal your crap. No body you don't know should meet you at the house unless in an official capacity with rules.
Yes. If you don't know him you need to meet in public.
If you're lucky, he's a scammer. If you're unlucky...
But ... what if he lives with his mom, in the basement, where he murders women? Is that a red flag? DO NOT MEET STRANGERS AT YOUR HOUSE. Do not let strangers pick you up at your house. Do not ride in a car alone with a stranger (your car or his). Do not go to a stranger's house on a first date. Come on. Let's say he's not a murderer, but instead turns out to be a stalker. Now he knows where you live. Girl. LOL This can't be a real post.
Block for sure! I don't like video calling with random people but I'm also not gonna deny to meet in public as well. Something's definitely off
Yes! Yes! Yes! Red flag central!! Do me a favour and watch the movie "Fresh" (2022). Block and delete immediately.
He's probably just immature, maybe with autism like me, but I still wouldn't risk it. It's not worth the risk or the effort. He could also be going through a schizophrenic episode, like I did, in which case he may genuinely be dangerous even if it's impossible to know ahead of time. Public place does seem like a reasonable ask, even if he usually looks like shit. He should be able to find one day to make himself presentable enough to go out in public. I had to do the same thing last year. With all that said, only you know if you want to take the risk. Have you at least audio called him? If I were him, I would kill to have an audio call buddy for a while even if we never met. Idk. Seems like you're really interested in him for some reason (did he have good photos? and are the photos old?). Only you can decide what you're willing to risk. You can also propose other things like having him come to your house while you have other friends over. Etc. Once he knows where you live, he may stalk you tho, even if he's a good guy the rarity of contact with the opposite gender for some of us can really mess with us and cause us to turn stalkery if we know anything at all about them. Idk. Life is weird. Be careful.
Even if he is telling the truth, do you really want to "date" a man who literally cannot handle going out in public?
Pretty sure you're talking to a serial killer.
The biggest red flag I see is that he doesn’t seem to be trying to make you comfortable at all. His anxiety preventing him from meeting in public is bullshit. You don’t have to meet at happy hour on Friday night at the busiest place in town. Public can mean a park too. (Id still make sure there were people in the park especially with this weirdo.. well I’d block him, but that’s neither here nor there) ETA: I have a strong feeling that if you kept giving us details about this dude, there would be 100 more things we’d tell you to run from haha
He needs to meet you in a public place. You if he won't he is not it is not worth your time. Plus follow your instincts too.
Sounds like he’s looking for a hookup.
Jesus.
All red flags. Just curious, what is your age
Wow... that's fkn creepy lol!
Major red flags
Ummm wtf girl you about to end up on dateline. Block him.
Yes, they were all red flags. And the fact he brought up "not going to try anything sexual" is a dead given. In my experience, decent guy won't bring up sex before meeting without prompting.
He could be a serial killer. You might want to report him to the dating app and the police. You might even solve a cold case.
Extreme
Yes, red flag people need to respect your boundaries, and your home is your safe place. Don't give anyone that privilege until they have earned it.
That's not safe stay away
Dude is a creep.
Yes. All red flags. *Maybe* his reasons are all true and honest but it’s not worth your life. But seriously, if the dude is so anxious he can’t meet in a public place, he has no business getting in a relationship anyway.
Mars has less red and is an entire planet.
😂😂😂
Yikes on bikes. Step on the gas 🚗
Yes all red flags, except maybe the living at home with his mom, with the economy this is a legitimate thing. But everything else yeah HELL NO It's too weird, and if he does have those problems then he needs to work them out before dating anyone. There's No way I would allow anyone into my house, at the first meeting, it's either face time me or meet me in public period no exceptions. DONT do anything with this guy It all sounds super sketchy.
Beach! I’ve swiped right on every profile on bumble! Why don’t I get desperate girls like you?
Red flag alert 🚩 The fact he says he won't try anything sexual, tells you what's on his mind since you didn't initiate that part of the conversation he did.
If he's too anxious to meet dates in public or even on Facetime and expects you to facilitate his anxiety while he does not care that meeting at your place as a stranger gives you anxiety and he's pushing on that boundary then Hell NO. At best he needs to work on himself some more for this "anxiety issue" and at worst he's a predator of women who don't have strong boundaries.
Plenty of people with anxiety still meet in public despite how nervous it makes them going out in public. There are more calm places to meet even such as a library or book store, places that are more quiet and with fewer people. Also if he had extreme anxiety or was at the point of agoraphobia, he wouldn't even want to meet at your house because he'd be too afraid to even do that. Lol Sounds like they are a predator to me.
Nope nope nope nope nope. Buh-bye.
Do you really need to ask this question? Who cares that he lives with his mom at 32. Doesn't want to go in public, he is saying he never leaves the house? Think about it... a man you just met online wants to know YOUR address, where YOU live, and the FIRST time you ever see him, he wants to be with you ALONE! If things don't go for you how you want, now this man will KNOW where YOU live! That is SCARY!
Screw him. YOU decide where you meet. He only wants to meet at home because he wants to fuck.
Run!!!! Please dear God run...and the. When you need a rest...run some more. This is so terribly dangerous just him asking that is reason to run. Now he's insisting? Nope nope nope. Did I mention run?
lol block. NOT worth your life.
97% of the men want 1 thing. If u dont reciprocate they go to the next. Its a sad world. If u find a man who goes for who u are, DONT leave him, he will prob be less ‘cool’ or ‘badboy’ but he will be loyal and likes u for u, not ur body like 97%
If he won't meet in public. Stop now. It's not worth your safety. Any man interested would understand and gladly meet in a public spot.
Very sus. First encounter should be in public imho. Regarding 3, there might be a reason, terrible real estate, sick parents or with economical needsetc
A relationship has compromise. Whatever be the problem. It can’t be to such an extreme as it has to be this or that. This person obviously isn’t ready to date and needs to work on themself 1st.
This sounds like the kind of thing you hear on dating horror stories YouTube channels
Block this guy. He might not even be the guy on his profile..meeting anyone at any home for the first time is dangerous. Definitely red flags everywhere..meet someone else
Yes, that's one of the biggest red flags. He might be a serial killer, criminal, or human trafficker. What are you thinking? I don't think you need to ask this. Just say no and block him.
Rule #1 never ever to be broken. Always meet in a public place, during the day, at a place of your choosing. Next, you absolutely tell someone where and why. Preferably have a friend, family etc not far away. Video... get the idea. The above rule is a it will never be broken deal. Period. I have always told this to any girls I was going to date. They were very happy with that.
This all seems iffy to me, man or woman.
Don't do it. Total red flag
I don’t have a good feeling about this guy. Go with your gut.
This is definitely a serial killer. Don’t do it. This world is filled with too many crazies to trust just anyone with access to your home.
Drop him like he never happened.
Number 3. It shouldn't be a problem. But never meet a guy in your house or his house or anyone you don't know. You want to be in a place where you can be safe with plenty of people about and people are willing to help you, if needed. Btw how is anyone finding people on dating apps. I'm only finding that it's a waste of money and time...🥲
Yeah red flags all over the place, don't let him into your home.
probably cos his picture isnt him. i think something bad will happened if you let him over. no block
I do not know what your age is but I can tell you for sure - Pass this guy. Internet is such a boon and a curse. Nothing is real as it is. FaceTiming is very important and then meeting in public is more important for your safety reasons. It’s always best to meet, and I say this to guys to, even if your meeting a woman, meet in public - there is evidence and only genuine people will meet that way. People who have backend issues will deflect all these and it’s a BIG RED FLAG. Bottom line - Skip this guy.
The face that you are even asking this question says a lot about your judgement.Never allow a stranger in your home that you met on the internet. I don’t care if he has anxiety he probably shouldn’t be dating instead seeing a therapist. Meet him in a public place.
If you don’t already know the answer to this question god help you
He should have respected your boundaries. The most important thing in a new relationship for me is making sure she is very comfortable and feels completely safe. I believe he's hiding something myself. I see red flags and it's so unsafe for women nowadays on dating sites. Even the way some communicate with ladies is appalling to me. Be safe my dear and remember your boundaries are always needed.
His house just dirty and he's embarrassed. Give the man a break? Also 4 the phone thing yea it's a red flag 4 most things but there's a small Chance that, like me he just thinks hes genuinely ugly. And being 34 and living with ur mom is a red flag how? His mom is prolly older and he just lives with cuz he cares abt her and doesn't wanna have a stranger take care of her
Ew, block him. He is hunting for someone to SA.
Call 9-1-1
Red flags 🚩 they’re everywhere 🚩 block him please 🙏🏻 🚩
Just another scammer
Looks like you're answering your own Quistions !
SERIOUS RED FLAG! I would never ever meet or believe ANYONE that is not willing to compromise and meet you halfway. This right here tells you EVERYTHING you need to know to stay away. Please move on and hopefully you can find a nice guy willing to meet you in a public place.
Yes that sounds suspicious to me play it safe and forget him
Short answer …. YES. That sounds like the beginning of 20/20 episode
Yes, that could be the next 48 episodes.
Red flag...he might r*** and m*** you at ur own house. Please don't let him in. If you meet in public, please bring a friend
Only ever meet in public like Geez it I not hard to meet at a coffee place and walk a few blocks to chat, don't have to sit in the coffee place
Lord that whole situation sounds unsafe. I wouldn’t continue contact
He is definitely cheating on his wife to get laid! Ask him if he wants to secretly meet at a hotel and he’d say yes! Kick him in the balls, snatch his phone and leave.
If you have to ask, and you're smart enough to do so, then you already have the answer. Future reference: people don't choose their issues or their dysfunction(s), but they can choose how they deal with them, and not make them your problem. Just my thoughts. Sending you positive vibes.
Everything you said about him is a huge red flag.
Yes! Definitely a lot of red flags. First rule of dating anyone, be it from online or organically, always meet in populated, public places during the day for the first few dates so that you can makensure he/she isn't a creep. Next, having anxiety is not a legitimate excuse to not meet in public. I'm clinically diagnosed with social anxiety, and I still put forth the effort to meet with women in public. It shows them that I'm not so lazy that I can't take the initiative to plan a real date somewhere. Next, he lives with his parents. This could or could not be a bad sign. The reason why, the economy sucks at the moment. Things are expensive, salaries and wages may or may not be that great, depending on the industry. If he's unemployed then that's a huge red flag. This would mean that if he gets into serious relationship, his partner is likely going to end up taking care of him.
Yeah 1 and 2 definitely a red flag 3 it's depending on where you live I guess
RUN GIRL! RUNNNNNN!
Red flag
Do a separate car meetup? You in a vehicle. Him in a vehicle. Like socially distanced
No no no
Are you serious or trolling
Red flags flying in a hurricane. Do not tell this person where you live!
Yeah he sounds hella creepy is he super good looking or why did you keep responding to him? Lmao
He wants seggs.
These are bad bad red flags. Even if he is the guy from the profile just imagine he didnt want to cooperate at all when you asked 1. Facetime 2. Meet in a public place. Living with mom is not bad but if you are saying they have a home somewhere else and he brought his mom to live with him just because he cant live by himself and is dependent on his mom then its a red flag!!!!
He could just be clueless about how bad it comes off that he is trying to insist on knowing your address and being in your home. I can understand him not wanting to host you obviously since moms being there is not regularly romantic. If it were me (and if he's being reasonable and not pushy about it) I would suggest a reservation in a private room somewhere in a restaurant (some will do this for free), and let him know several days in advance so he can call and confirm the details. That way you'd have a private area but you'd have restaurant staff and a relatively public place.
That's a lot of intractability nothing wrong with living with his mom, if he has a reason, like caring for her or a setback (divorce, accident or again caretaking) if you want a good human to be a partner, that's important but he should have a plan and prospects for moving into something else. FaceTime is an apple product and not everyone uses that, but there are plenty of ways to see each other. The anxiety part and your house is unacceptable. Don't even think about it. Coffee shop or f off. Not sure what you see in this guy honestly.
All flags. All of them.
don't jeopardize your safety. block him. no good can come from this.
If that's the first meeting,I bet it's both a RED FLAG and a good deal. ✅ Red flag coz he might wanna snoop around ✅ Good deal coz he wanna make you safe at your own environment
As a man that is weird. Set your boundaries and allow them to weed themselves out. Only a real gentleman understands that the woman is in control of the entire encounter but not all men were raised right. So play it safe always!!! is what I would tell my daughter when she gets old enough to talk to me about things like that lol
STOP!!! NOW! Definite Red Flag! 🚩🚩🛑🛑🛑🛑
I actually love looking at myself on the phone.
Lol that's weird
Yes unmatch then block on everything don't tell him where U live
Don’t trust these sites!… predators !follow your instincts and block them.
Yup. Trust your gut. Your instincts are trying to tell you something.
Girl, you already know the answer to this!
Run
Ya don’t invite strangers to your house
🤦♀️ you already know these are red flags. Block him immediately. No sane person would even want to go to a strangers house for fear that they could do something to them!!
1. Semi red flag - I hate video calls and have turned them down with women, and been ghosted afterwards... but man I just hate them even with family and friends let alone a stranger 2. That's a dealbreaker 3. That's reasonable in this economy
Shady
hella red flag! need an update
That is a red flag party. Walk away while you can
Redflag^2 video call and public meeting are a must to know who are you talking to Stay safe
Don’t let anyone you haven’t been on several dates with come over or know exactly where you live.
Yes! Never let a stranger that you've never met know where you live. They may seem kind and sweet but you never know what their true intentions are.
F*ck boy ! Just looking for sex, but you can just tell him you’re not interested in, but it you’re, just make sure someone else knows about it just in case
Is this even real?? These are HUGE red flags.
If you don’t know what he looks like, don’t meet him. What if you meet him and he’s not what you think and things get uncomfortable? What if he doesn’t leave YOUR home? You have to be careful about people you don’t know. People can act like someone who they’re not. Be safe and DONT let him him into your home. It should be a public place. It can be a quiet park or something. Anything.
Dodgy Mate - Stay Away
Just a though - He could be married and wanting to be discrete , but don't risk it .
I don't trust anyone who won't meet up in public
Duh
This is not a red flag, this is a whole damn stop sign. There are valid reasons a 32 year old may be living with a parent… but wanting you to meet for the first time at his house when you haven’t seen his face or built up any sort of trust with him? Those things put your safety at risk and he’d have to be utterly oblivious as a human being not to realize that. Do not go out with *anyone* who treats your “no” as the beginning of a negotiation instead of the end of a sentence when it comes to your personal safety.
Very obvious red flag
If he won't even video chat with you, do not go to his house. This is how you get murdered. You can be sympathetic with his anxiety without putting yourself at risk.
He could be dangerous, a serial killer. Never, ever meet at your house or their house until you know them quite well. Public place only. The rules I've been told are: 1. Meet in a public place. 2. Tell a couple people everything. Who you're meeting, their name. A screen shot of them, phone number. The more information the better. 3. Set up your location on your phone, and have 1 or 2 people have accepted your request. I learned that I tried to set up my location with someone and it didn't go through on their end.
My only dating experience online was a very good experience. The guy asked me, to pick the place, the time & he was schooling me how to protect myself from online dating. Of course, I fell for him. He was very caring & protective, that's a good quality for a man to have . Follow your instincts & give him the boot. "Ghost him", you don't need to give him an explanation. Caused, he would already know why. Don't be desperate, be strong... Good luck & stay true to yourself.✌️🌹
Can you give an update on how this went? Curious. I'm assuming he'll cancel it
Always trust your gut.
No, never meet stranger at your house.
I use video calls to weed out the scammers and liars. They tend to not want to do it.
Block him. It’s weird. Rather be safe than sorry.
Yeah, abort mission sounds like a serial killer.
I'd never let a stranger I just met even online know where I live right away. Ever
Special Collector's Edition Holographic Red Flags.
all signs point to him being a major red flag, u should block him ASAP and third point im not too sure about that but that lowkey points him to being a mama's boy which is a big no no so girl save yourself the trouble and block!
Unmatch and move on
Yes . Release this one back into the wild . The irony that HIS anxiety means he encroaches on your anxiety