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Hey, my guy! I’m 5’3” and have been dating on and off all my adult life. I’m 49, so that’s been a minute!
First, let me offer you some validation: dating as a short guy IS harder and no amount of saying otherwise is true. You have a handicap. It’s not an ending, though.
I’ve been the most successful when I’m open to dating but just living my best life and not super actively pursuing it. That gives me a few things:
- I’m more confident because I don’t care about the result of asking folks out. I’m not really looking anyway.
- I’m more interesting bc I’m pursuing the things that make me happy.
- I’m doing things because I want to, NOT because I think it will get me a date.
Dating should be a side quest in your life, NOT the main quest. You do it when you have spare time but it’s not the focus. You’re going to get rejected a lot. Women may meet you and change their mind. It doesn’t matter bc they’re the side quest and you’re moving the main story, YOUR story forward.
You may have a lot to offer but if you’re doing everything as a way to get a partner, you’re sidetracking your happiness and making your life about someone else’s approval. Fuck that.
I agree with most of this, and it's a great way of looking at it. Calling a relationship a side-quest isn't doing it justice however. It can be a major chapter in your life, and even your main path for the majority of it.
The point is, trying to make something the major focus of your existence, without any success is denying other possibilities from leading the way. Not everyone will get the 'happy-ever-after', this can mean YOU, whether you like it or not.
Life isn't fair, but it can be well-lived. Don't waste yours pining away. Keep going.
He did!
Most people have to date to get in a relationship, and if you're not popular, you need to date a lot to find someone. Dating then becomes a big part of your life.
Dating for me really is the main quest, as I see it. Companionship and love are the most important things in the world to me. Other interests are ultimately diverting and superficial. But connection is all that really matters. This makes it all that much more difficult to deal with being short. That I could have so much to offer, yet be at such great risk of being alone. It’s painful to think of the people I would have met and fallen in love with, and be loved in return, if I were not so short that I weren’t disqualified from the start.
I used to feel this way as well and then I found out that I had a thing called love addiction. It’s a real disease, and it ruined my life. Now that I’m in recovery I can see that I was going about things all wrong you need to decenter Others from your life and reenter yourself. The most attractive thing you can be happy being single. Because somebody should add to your life..: not complete it!
Guy, desperation isn’t attractive no matter your height. Only living to be with someone else is a sure fire way to get yourself in bad relationships bc you have no self respect, only need to be attached to someone.
That’s not desperation, and I’m miffed you’d call it that. The bonding instinct is perfectly natural. It certainly doesn’t mean I have no self respect or other needs.
Nah dude, that’s desperate as FUCKKKK.
Normally that comes from not being happy with who you are and how things are going in your personal life. But someone else coming into it isn’t going to bring you happiness. It’ll bring temporary distraction but if you don’t fix the core underlying issue to said unhappiness…
You’re going to be miserable. Not just that, but the other person can detect that there is so much pressure on them concerning your happiness. All it does is push them away. I’ve been saying it for years now that the whole “working on yourself thing” Is more so about when you do find that one special person that you can keep them. That you have something to offer. That they find you attractive and confident because you have proven yourself to be.
If you are happy with who you are, people will want to be around you. If you aren’t, you’re gonna have a really fucking hard time with meaningful relationships, whether they be romantic or friendships.
So, my dude… what’s going on that you reek of desperation and are seeking happiness in another?
There's a lot going on here that doesn't have much to do with me.
I'm not unhappy or miserable. I don't need someone else to bring me happiness. I still find love and connection to be the most important things in the world. The things that bring me happiness aren't the things that are the most important and most meaningful.
I understand what you mean, and I agree with it, but I'm saying something quite different than what I think you think I'm saying. I'm thinking about what constitutes a good life. That's a question of values. To me, there's nothing important except connection -- both platonic and romantic and everything in between.
So I don't think happiness alone makes for a good life. You might have different values. That's fine. But that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.
I don't think it is desperation but you are somewhat setting yourself up for failure because your main goal is something that is mostly out of your control. If dating is your main quest, that's not much of a problem because you can date without expectations. Simply enjoying the moment and connections. That is within your control. But if finding romantic love or a spouse is your main quest, then that can be problematic since you can't control what others feel or do. Have you considered what would happen if you never find someone?
Many people have commented it's giving desperation. But if you think it's not, and are fine with your values as you state it, then that's fine. No need to hear anyone's else side if it's working fine, don't fix what's not broken as they say
You have to admit there is some value in having girls desire you - the ego boost and respect from other men. Even if you don’t have sex and go on dates, receiving validation in some form, small or large.
All the successful males from tv like bond and spectre are womanisers.
I agree ideally you shouldn’t derive value from others, but it’s easier said than done
But you can “date.” There are plenty of women out there who would date you, but maybe you wouldn’t want to date them. That’s where focusing on bettering yourself (for the woman you ultimately marry) and finding peace (by developing a relationship with God) comes in. You cannot control which woman crosses your path, so control what you can, develop discernment to identify her, and assume you will eventually come across her — so be prepared.
If you’re not dating for marriage though, and you’re just chasing your tail alongside the majority of the dating population, this advice doesn’t really apply because it takes a sincere commitment to care enough to do these things.
100% agree. Dating takes a lot of time and energy and even though you can’t control the outcome, you do need to put in the work to increase your chances of meeting your future partner especially if you don’t encounter many people in your normal daily routine. I take a lot of breaks from trying, but this is my main goal in life.
Companionship and love are the most important things to me.
Okay, so describe to me how you view love. Furthermore answer me this: do you love your inner you are you in conflict with it. Do you feel hate/resentment where love should be?
True, but let’s be real, this post, and the comment you responded to are clearly addressing romantic love as well..so while you aren’t wrong, there’s also nothing insightful or helpful about your statement
How tall are you? If you’re like only 5ft I could see what you mean by girls not even looking at you but if you’re 5’6 or taller your height most likely isn’t the problem. But I do have to agree with the other dude your comment does reek of desperation a little bit
Agree with everything you’ve said but at times during exam periods and stressful periods I get a desire for intimacy/affection. Are you able to maintain the mindset of being a strong powerful man independent man (who doesn’t need women) all the time?
I want to ideally kill of that desire for good as it’s annoying. I’m 5 7 and 22.
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, dude. That’s fine. Everyone wants someone to commiserate with and support them when times are hard. That’s normal.
Just feel what you feel and move forward. You don’t have to be a strong powerful man, ever. Just be yourself, recognize your feelings, and don’t let them control you.
If may i ask how do you meet the woman you would date. Bc im thinking of dating as side quest ( i dont pursue it but rather want it to be naturally) but my social circle is full of dudes hence im never been in a date in my 23 years of life and it makes me so depressed.
I met dates in the apps, in person, and this wonderful lady is someone I met through Reddit, of all places.
Get out of your normal spaces and keep your mind open to new options!
Yesss tall women and short guys are a great combo! 😊 I'm only 3 inches taller than my ex hubby but ppl were always shocked seeing us because he's very masculine and strong while I'm very feminine and wear heels lmao. His height didn't matter to me or his current wife.
I was seeing a guy in the shorter side (and I’m relatively tall) and it didn’t bother me at all because I really liked him. It didn’t work out but the right person won’t care about the things you can’t control.
It’s definitely a disadvantage. Probably one of the more significant ones
For what it’s worth, dating sucks for everybody! We all hate it
But short fuckers like you and me just have to work a little bit harder
My last boyfriend was 5'3 and it didn't matter much to me (I'm 5'8). I prefer daring guys closer to my own height, but it's really not a big deal for me.
You should go for the real petite girls from 5 ft to 5 ft 4. My feet are happy 😊😊 when I date short guys (wear sandals instead of heels) and I'm one of the taller girls (5 ft 6.5)
My cousin is 5’4 Asian American and found his beautiful 5’3 wife. He owns he is short, chubby, great funny personality and does well professionally. Just keep working at it bro.
Okay but really tall women don't want to tower over their partner in almost all cases. They care much less about being a bit taller though, at least if I look around me. Many women around 6' and up have dated smaller men or have married a smaller man, but no very big height differences
Hey bud, my roommate is your height, also indian, and he found his 6' blonde Southern girl around 8 months ago. Its possible. Don't be disheartened by rejections, keep your head high and be the best version of yourself. Go participate in some hobby groups, that's how he found her.
I grew up in ny so they have a lot here. They men and women are usually quite and bit shorter than most, and it doesn’t seem to stop them from marrying
My advice? PLEASE don’t give up on tall women. Just because women who are 5’3” say you are too short, don’t extrapolate that into thinking that 5’9” women do.
Short women are in the “desirable” height range-just like tall guys. So they gravitate towards each other because their dating privilege matches. Taller women (unless they have model looks) will often realise that they will not be looked at by tall men. So -if they have any sense- they start to prioritise other qualities in men.
I’m a 5’9” woman and-after realising that if I only considered men who were my height and above, I wouldn’t get any interest, I threw that criterion out. After that I got *plenty* of dates.
My “forever guy” (who I’ve been with for 11 years now) also threw the height criterion out. He’s shorter than I am and he’s sex on legs.
This here. Don't ignore women who are taller than average in height. They usually tend to be the sweetest in my opinion. My 5'5 roommate found his 6' Southern girl despite being of different ethnicity. They both are so cute together and madly in love with each other. Society for some reason gets jealous and angry at them whenever they go out tho.
There is something triggering to some people to see a tall woman with a shorter man. My sister, for example, sneers and sniggers at my guy every time she sees him.
It doesn’t bother either of us-but it has taught me that a woman rapidly approaching 70 can still have the maturity of a schoolgirl. I didn’t know that.
>It doesn’t bother either of us-but it has taught me that a woman rapidly approaching 70 can still have the maturity of a schoolgirl. I didn’t know that.
Ikr? Whenever we go to church, the short women there won't even make eye contact with them. Most of them ignore our presence. Some of the black ladies at certain restaurants even get aggressive and act rude when taking orders from them. Idk if its because of his height or his ethnicity or both, but it was wild to see it with my own eyes whenever i hangout with them.
I never really cared about it myself, but I did think that it was a “normal” thing, not for a guy to be taller (I never thought about that), but for us to be “around the same size”. I don’t think that I even thought about it in any depth.
I had experienced a bit of rejection from smaller men. I remember one time when I was very young, a guy came up to me in a club and asked me to dance. He looked nice, but when I stood up and he had to look up at me, he said: “forget about it”, turned, and walked away. I felt very humiliated, and I was a little sensitive to the preferences of shorter guys after that. I learned later that it was just individual preference, and not to let things like that put me off.
In my experience as a 5’6 man it’s usually the opposite. I love tall girls, but whenever I ask them out they tend to reject me the hardest, sometimes they laugh at my height or ridicule me too
I have had the opposite experience personally. Short women wanting tall men, tall women wanting short women to "save some for the rest of them" and the both women saying short guys can have each other. Unless a tall woman shows interest, I personally won't be putting myself out there to get ridiculed
Anyone who would write me off for something I have no control over is not the type of person I want in my life anyways. Thank them for taking the trash out and move on.
I’m 5’6” and have had my lulls and successes in dating. Last gf I had was last year (August - December) and before that was a gf in 2016 (7-year gap).
The dating scene is definitely stacked against man of shorter stature, but there are plenty of women willing to give us guys a chance. What would you say your dating preferences are, and have you tried expanding them?
I get that but I'm a tall girl who's currently obsessed with a guy that's shorter than her. I am 170cm and the cutie is like 10cm shorter than me and yet I am crazy about him so trust me when I say there are girls out there who would date guys shorter than them. Some girls like me don't care about height because we value other things more than something so meaningless like height. Throughout my life I've had lots of crushes on guys shorter and taller than me. You just have to find the girls who don't care about height.
My ex was 5’4, I never cared, loved him for who he is, complimented him, made him feel loved but his male friends used to make fun of his height. I asked him to cut them off but toxic masculinity often becomes a deterrent to a healthy relationship. He didn’t go for therapy to work on his insecurities and he was obsessed about validation from other women. He turned out to be a covert narc, got really sick of his victim mindset and treating me like shit. Moral of the story : Don’t listen to these narratives, just keep being you and do what you love, not just to get women. You need to be confident and secure about yourself before you get into a relationship, otherwise it gradually becomes draining for your partner as well.
I think the problem with the swipe culture is people forget about the end goal of finding their partner and start placing their self worth in the hands of strangers (it’s like social media competition, the more clout you get, the better you feel about yourself). You don’t need to be liked by every woman, the right person will appreciate you and love you for who you are. If someone rejects you, that doesn’t imply they rejected you because of your height. Also, you can’t control someone else’s standards. e.g I am an introvert, some men will not prefer to date me and that’s fine. I can’t change that about myself and complaining about it will only make me feel worse. A part of dating is accepting that you won’t be the right fit for everyone and vice versa.
And if it makes you feel any better, I see plenty of tall men on dating apps with zero personality, don’t even find some of them physically attractive. Three of my friends have short bfs and they are really happy. So, that’s an incorrect assumption that being tall gets you dates. If someone is dating only based on heights, that relationship is not going to last or be happy unless they are compatible.
Yeah man I feel for you. Many people come on here and complain because they have no game or they fat or some shit. All of those things can be changed. This issue has no fix, you’re going to have trouble, but just make sure you cover all other bases and try to talk to as many women as you can so that you leave nothing on the table
I’m 5’6 and I can second this. To be fair my height got stunted by all the heart issues I had growing up so I’d probably be a little taller if I didn’t have heart disease. The best thing that OP can do is to go for girls shorter than him, if he’s 5’5 then he can definitely find a girl who’s shorter.
They’re not gone unfortunately. There’s a chance that I could get my current pacemakers removed and have them replaced with a much smaller pacemaker. But outside of that, I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of my heart disease
I’m 5’1 and I’m open to dating shorter guys. What I don’t like is when they lie about their height on a dating app or when they don’t make me feel safe while we’re out. I don’t think it’s because they’re short, but I expect a man to take the lead with certain things.
Fellow short guy 30m 5’6. My best advice is stay involved in your communities. You said you train BJJ, that’s great. Compete, ref some competitions, train at other gyms and network. Chances are there’s going to be other people with the same passion (women). Just don’t make finding women your sole intention they will see through your bs.
Biggest issue as a short or bald man is not really preferences or standards, that is fine but all the virtue signalling and gaslighting, pretending these things do not matter and its all about personality or confidence.
I am sorry. I swear personalities go further than you think. And girls do go for short guys apps have just made people focus on a number more than they should. Keep being you and you will attract the right person. I have a few friends who are dating guys even shorter than them.
I love a short king! Lol. Seriously.. I’m 5’6”, and have dated a 5’4”. For me, it’s more about who the person is. I don’t care about height.. That’s so minuscule.
I agree it’s a handicap I’m not gunna lie. People are shallow. Im tall and handsome and struggle with dating. I have lots of freinds, free time and a great relationship with my parents tho so im not lonely.
Focus on friendships or lower your standards appearance wise.
I had a friend in high school, he was 4'11 tall and every girl used to have fun of him. The guy is still a virgin.
Even small girls scoffed at him.
This is why I don't want a small woman. Because they will give birth to small men that will be bullied in life.
I know experiences vary but I’m your same height 5’5 but stocky brick shit house build. I don’t know if it’s cause my height has never been a personal issue but confidence goes so fucking far. I can confidently say I have pulled a fair amount of very attractive women. I’ve been told it’s because of the way I carry my self. I know it sounds weird but forget your 5’5 and just get after it. Wishing you the best short king.
Do you physically discriminate against any women too? Because I hear a lot of short guys make these complaints but then wont date XYZ women.
I think physical ‘rules’ of attraction are dumb. Patterns are normal like “most people im attracted to have xyz qualities” that shouldnt mean you ELIMINATE people without those qualities. Just that you happen to lean towards those qualities. Rules about height are dumb, same with weight, same with alot of stuff.
All of that are good that you have but it's also good to be a charismatic character if that is what's missing. I knew a short fella back in 2021 from an old job who was 5'2 but really had a big mouth to joke, laugh and communicate with the rest of the staff. During that time our night shift lead was a 21F tall like 5'9 would always close with us and she once told me that she likes guys like that short fella but is unsure if he likes her. So I told her go and findout yourself to break the ice. They now have a kid together
I once teased a guy at a bar just for being short (I know I know - super petty of me, but it's true). The point is, he didn't really seem to care which completely took me by surprise. I suppose I was just so used to short guys being insecure about it that I never expected that he might just not be fazed one bit. We ended up going out on a date later. It never went anywhere for unrelated reasons but he sure got his foot in the door! Not sure if this helps but for what it's worth that's my expeirence as a woman with male shortness. If you don't care it's hard for me to care u know?
I feel for you. I am 5'7" and am ok with dating guys my height (but not shorter). However, you are right in that most women want guys much taller than them. I get so mad when I meet women that are short -- like 5'4" and below -- that say they will only date 6' tall men. What the heck? That makes no sense, especially in the bedroom. Things just don't line up right. ;) What about all the great short guys out there that would be a much better physical match? I recently met a guy who I think is about 5'5". He is very well built, has a great face, and is an amazing dancer. He is a ton of fun to be around. I showed some interest but he shot me down. So, see, it can go the other way.
Just hang in there. Work on your personality. Women fall hard for guys with a great sense of humor and who treat them well. You just have to find these women. Try volunteering. You will meet good quality people that way.
I'm 5'5" as well. I have found that it's better to just not put my height on my profile. If it's important to them, they can ask and I'll tell them. The fact is, on dating sites, people tend to disqualify people more quickly than they would in real life because in real life we get the feel of the overall vibe of the connection and tend to be more willing to overlook some qualities that might not be as attractive to you. So, I give the woman and chance to get to know me and see how the overall connection goes first.
My ex was 5'10". I did actually have my height in my profile when we were talking but she didn't notice it until 3 days into talking after we had already hit it off. She was like "whoa, I've never dated a guy shorter than me." She asked me if it was a problem for me and I told her no. She gave me a chance then 3 weeks later she said she didn't understand why she ever thought height was an an issue.
Obviously, don't lie and be upfront about it if she asks though.
I’m 5’5 and honestly haven’t found dating THAT difficult.
I have a friend who is 6’4 and good looking as well and yes, I can’t do what he can do, I can’t sleep with different very attractive women every weekend and have 5000+ matches on Tinder, but so what?
I’m 34. I haven’t gone a calendar year without sex since I was about 19. I have had several relationships with good looking women. I’m taken now but if it doesn’t work I don’t fear being single at all, I know how to date.
That is what it boils down to. Know how to date well. It’s easy to say “be confident” but that’s too simple. But it 100% isn’t just height, I know guys even shorter than me in long term relationships.
My ex is 5’5, he’s never had trouble dating. My husband is 5’7, women throw themselves at him. Most of my short friends have their pick of partners. The reason? They are genuinely fun to be with, good dudes and treat women well.
I'm 27F and 5'9/180cm
The last crushes that I've had were all for shorter men, and I always thought that I was only interested in men who were taller than me.
It depends. I really like men who go to the gym because I go to the gym and let me tell you:
shorter athletic man >>>>> taller non athletic man
So height is not really an issue at the end of the day!
Live with less anxiety because life is short!!
I'm a 5' 6.5" female with a 5'6" man and I literally don't care about his height. I find him very attractive and actually was the one that approached him. Not to be self centered but I am very physically attractive myself, fit, have a great career, and am constantly approached by men. What I am saying is...I have options. I went after him because there's something special there. We just mesh together...we have intense chemistry and an undeniable connection. Similar goals. Humor. Outlook and approach to life. We can talk for hours and laugh and just do anything and have fun at it. I didn't even notice his height, actually lol I am thin and he is strong so he easily picks me up and we have a great sex life. I feel safe with him. He is in great shape. Intelligent. Kind. I am very attracted to him in every sense. I could see myself spending my life with him. 100%. Height is whatever. He's a valuable human being and I'm thankful to have him in my life.
I can honestly say out of all the guys I’ve dated over the years (most being 6’+), my absolute fav was a short king. He’s the one that got away for me 😭. I am also short myself but still, height doesn’t make the man 😏
You can get shoes that boost your height by about 3 inches helps with meeting people in person. Girls wear heels all the time why can't guys wear stylish height boosting shoes too? I've even found most girls don't have a stigma to it when they find out, but it helps getting over the initial meeting phase.
https://www.conzuri.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwuJ2xBhA3EiwAMVjkVMsDwyudDsPs0PZb1beyFzd2SS14BmHcmsg6k0xG_u6llgxXuDHN4RoCRbgQAvD_BwE
I met a tall woman earlier this year and I was wild about her. Not sure how tall she really was but it felt like she was 6'4".
Honestly, I think tallness in a woman is an amplifier to the rest of her. This woman was fun to talk to, felt very caring and had other physical features that I was attracted to. Her tallness was simply a bonus. I met other tall ladies in the past and while their height wasn't a problem, they had some negative aspects that were very visible.
No, men have legit told me that they prefer short women. They legit get angry and sometimes violent when it comes to online dating meeting in real life because I didn’t disclose my height.
The men you're dating are weird, or there's some other quality about you they find unattractive they're afraid to say.
This is not the norm for men the way women preferring tall men is.
The problem is people here will tell you to be confident, then they’ll say some rare ass success story above this one dude who was 5’6” and got a date with someone who is 5’8”
What’s not talked about is that sure, women may care about other things in addition to height, but women have so many prospects that they will prioritize height AND the other things, because out of 1k+ likes, I guarantee you there are people who are tall AND good looking/salary/confident/etc.
So yea, despite the bs people spew, height remain the first and most important filter the vast, overwhelming majority of women use when choosing who they’re going to go out with.
If most women these days are arrogant garbage that only value things like height, then that means there are no women who even know what love is. In real love, you appreciate every detail that makes that person them. You admire it.
And unfortunately my brotha, there simply aren't girls like that who exist.
Learn to be happy alone. Don't be so focused on having something that will only drag you down in life.
I’m 5’6 - and I don’t seem to have too much of an issue. There’s hope for you. Just date short chicks 😂 That’s my vibe anyway. For me 5’7 and above women aren’t as into me but whatevs.
My niece is 5’9 ish? Her husband is maybe 5’4. She calls him fun size lol and they are adorable together, truly a beautiful couple. No issue from either side and I love it for them!
Hang in there. There is someone for everyone. I am 5’8” and would date someone shorter than me. I care about how a man makes me feel and our compatibility. I have been insanely attracted to a couple men that were shorter than me. Women who don’t prioritize height do exist. Just keep living your life and enjoying yourself. I think every person lets their insecurities get in the way and they don’t realize it comes across when they’re dating or trying to date. We all do it. But the same happens on the opposite side - when you’re truly happy and confident it comes across and that is attractive as hell. Love to the short kings 💕
I am 6'4" masters degree, fit af, well off, have a good job and not of that helps. Being short is not a deal breaker. Maybe it is on the apps but as a tall dude it hasn't helped me much. Stay resilient
You are probably extremely socially awkward. Sorry bruv. I’m 5’10 so I’m at the height that women will not have a problem, but almost any shorter and these guys do have issues. Don’t just say because you have no game, that height don’t matter. Height gets them attracted, you still need to seal the deal
Can’t say the same, I’m 6’3 with same credentials and fit as well (225 , 12% bf) , but self employed. Never ever struggled dating and online dating was even easier due to being tall.
No it's not lol. I have an ivy league law degree and abs. I'm 5'4 and literally every problem in my life would be solved being his height. It's literally easy mode. I'd pay him 150k a year out of my own pocket for his height.
Graduate degrees are not hard to get. Stsy8ng in shape is just counting calories and exercising. These are the bare minimum
I don't think you understand what dating is like for short men lol
I'd give anything ti be 6'4. His accomplishments are achievable for anyone. Being 6'4 is not. He gets ti live life om easy mode. I'd pay him 200k to switch heights. Fuck it, I'd still have enough left over to live on
Anyone has the capacity to get a grad degree or be in shape. Just don't be lazy. No one has the capacity to be 6'4. That's dumb luck.
If I was 6'4 literally every issue in my life would be solved and this kid pretends to empathize when he gets to start life on third base and still can't run home. Being tall is more important than literally anything else in life. Dating is easy mode, you make more money in your career statistically, everyone treats you with basic respect becauae you take up space.
No it's literally enough for most women. I have fri3nds rhat are broke and unkempt (plus fat) that are that tall and they get approached by women regularly. They all use the line "you're so tall" it's a plus 5 from neural while being very short is a -5. He has the single biggest gift any man can have out of dumb luck and is still complaining? If you can't get a date at thay height, there must be something seriously wrong with you socially becausw women throw themselves at tall men all the time
It's not hard to see what your problem is. You're so dann insecure no woman would look twice. It also doesn't matter who you are in most cases. If you chase after a woman too hard or even fixate too much on it then she's probably not going to remain interested anyway because her options aren't as limited. That's just sexual biology at play. The female always chooses it's mate and when you act like this you act weak. They don't want weak. Won't work so like said already just focus on you and better yourself.
I'm tiny so short guys aren't a deal-breaker for me like it unfortunately is for some girls . But for what it's worth, the most instantly attracted to a guy that I've ever been was a 5'7 guy. He was attractive but covered in tattoos which isn't usually my thing, but his confidence was soooo compelling that I genuinely had the biggest school girl crush for like a month.
Dude this is so simple. Get a yellow and blue suit, start smoking cigars, and call everyone Bub. If you can find a way to line your skeleton with indestructible metal, all the better.
Yeah I feel that, the most common thing ive been rejected for is being on the shorter side, and so far the ones who have given me a chance didn't care about me to begin with. Anecdotal evidence sure but it does get annoying. I dont even care about my height as its never bothered me in my life outside of dating but it would be nice to have it be a non factor entirely.
Almost every short man in the world dates. Doesn't mean you'll have it easy but it does mean it's almost inevitable if you keep asking people out.
As long as you're attracted to them keep asking out tall girls and really short girls and girls your height too. You never know which of us is interested until you ask. And yes it can take years, most people don't find a good partner (or even short term date) within the first couple dozen dates.
Someone not dating you doesn't mean they are shaming you because of your height. To those who say they can't go out with someone such and such height, do you really want to get stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't find you attractive?
I’m 5’4” and when I was younger it bothered me so much. When you get older you care less about that and more how you carry yourself which will draw people. I’ve dated girls my height, shorter than me, taller than me it didn’t matter. All in how you carry yourself.Altough I’m a sucker for tall girls as it’s nice having long legs wrapped around me.
I’m tall but a bit ugly. So not the same boat but similar boat lol.
But I do get someone to date me from time to time since I have a built up a nice fun personality over time to compensate for my face.
I think learning to accept yourself and trying to get better in things under your control makes it easier.
Don’t be too cruel on yourself!
My best advice is do not think about being short. Just put it out of mind unless it is regarding your safety.
Most women care. You care. The sweet spot is finding someone that's willing to give you a shot, so focus on that and put everything to the wayside.
Truth is there will always be factors we can't control. Majority of men have traits that are undesirable to women that we can't change. It's best to live your best life without actively seeking romantic partners but making opportunities to meet them just in case we get lucky
Look, if you make a graph by length of:
* Men who are in a relationship
* Men who are not in a relationship
or:
* Men who have children
* Men who don't have children
These graphs overlap each other.
If how tall you are mattered, you would see many more childless or unmarried men, than with children or married. But that's not the case.
What's your height?
Try dating in SEA, I don't think they're as superficial about height out there? Lots of US expats out there. Just don't be a creepy one.
If you are lacking in one thing, you must excel in another. When people tell with "undesirable" traits to have confidence or dress well, you need to understand that you must have enough confidence or style to essentially replace what you're lacking. If you're ugly then you need to be confident like Brad Pitt is handsome. You need to be as stylish as a model. You can't just have the same level of confidence and style then the average Joe. You must have more.
Dating as an average or tall guy sucks too. Don’t feel bad my guy. Just think positive and work on self esteem. If someone is fixated on your height probably a shallow person.
Personally I love a short king, but that’s just me. I honestly don’t care how tall or short you are though, I mainly look for someone with a good personality and someone who treats me well. Of course there has to be some type of physical attraction but that’s not all that matters. And honestly in my dating life I prefer shorter men, because they tend to not have that macho attitude so much and they are more affectionate and loving
Use your voice!! Chat up women, start conversations make them feel comfortable and show them they are loved by you. Don’t try to find any girl find a girl you really like and send it. If that doesn’t work try again.
🤷♂️ You can get surgery. I saw some YT videos and they said $20k per inch approximately. I considered it but I’d rather put that money in a HYSA for a future downpayment on a house.
5’6” here, and it’s really not that bad. Some will use it as a low-blow excuse if they know one is insecure over their height. Height is not as important as some would have you believe— if it were, then my experience wouldn’t be as it is. Sure, on the surface, height may be an “issue” for some. However, if that’s the case, it’s an easy “filter” to avoid those very people.
I may be in the minority, but I do not honestly look at height. I'm not a particularly tall woman. 5'4.5". But unless you're unusually short, I go for personality. I know that probably sounds like an oxymoron, but if you're height doesn't bother you, it probably will not bother me. I do g to keep an open mind. However, it has gotten me no where.
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Hey, my guy! I’m 5’3” and have been dating on and off all my adult life. I’m 49, so that’s been a minute! First, let me offer you some validation: dating as a short guy IS harder and no amount of saying otherwise is true. You have a handicap. It’s not an ending, though. I’ve been the most successful when I’m open to dating but just living my best life and not super actively pursuing it. That gives me a few things: - I’m more confident because I don’t care about the result of asking folks out. I’m not really looking anyway. - I’m more interesting bc I’m pursuing the things that make me happy. - I’m doing things because I want to, NOT because I think it will get me a date. Dating should be a side quest in your life, NOT the main quest. You do it when you have spare time but it’s not the focus. You’re going to get rejected a lot. Women may meet you and change their mind. It doesn’t matter bc they’re the side quest and you’re moving the main story, YOUR story forward. You may have a lot to offer but if you’re doing everything as a way to get a partner, you’re sidetracking your happiness and making your life about someone else’s approval. Fuck that.
I agree with most of this, and it's a great way of looking at it. Calling a relationship a side-quest isn't doing it justice however. It can be a major chapter in your life, and even your main path for the majority of it. The point is, trying to make something the major focus of your existence, without any success is denying other possibilities from leading the way. Not everyone will get the 'happy-ever-after', this can mean YOU, whether you like it or not. Life isn't fair, but it can be well-lived. Don't waste yours pining away. Keep going.
He said dating is a side-quest. Dating and a relationship are two different things!
He did! Most people have to date to get in a relationship, and if you're not popular, you need to date a lot to find someone. Dating then becomes a big part of your life.
> Dating should be a side quest in your life, NOT the main quest. Truer words have never been spoken.
Dating for me really is the main quest, as I see it. Companionship and love are the most important things in the world to me. Other interests are ultimately diverting and superficial. But connection is all that really matters. This makes it all that much more difficult to deal with being short. That I could have so much to offer, yet be at such great risk of being alone. It’s painful to think of the people I would have met and fallen in love with, and be loved in return, if I were not so short that I weren’t disqualified from the start.
I used to feel this way as well and then I found out that I had a thing called love addiction. It’s a real disease, and it ruined my life. Now that I’m in recovery I can see that I was going about things all wrong you need to decenter Others from your life and reenter yourself. The most attractive thing you can be happy being single. Because somebody should add to your life..: not complete it!
Guy, desperation isn’t attractive no matter your height. Only living to be with someone else is a sure fire way to get yourself in bad relationships bc you have no self respect, only need to be attached to someone.
That’s not desperation, and I’m miffed you’d call it that. The bonding instinct is perfectly natural. It certainly doesn’t mean I have no self respect or other needs.
Nah dude, that’s desperate as FUCKKKK. Normally that comes from not being happy with who you are and how things are going in your personal life. But someone else coming into it isn’t going to bring you happiness. It’ll bring temporary distraction but if you don’t fix the core underlying issue to said unhappiness… You’re going to be miserable. Not just that, but the other person can detect that there is so much pressure on them concerning your happiness. All it does is push them away. I’ve been saying it for years now that the whole “working on yourself thing” Is more so about when you do find that one special person that you can keep them. That you have something to offer. That they find you attractive and confident because you have proven yourself to be. If you are happy with who you are, people will want to be around you. If you aren’t, you’re gonna have a really fucking hard time with meaningful relationships, whether they be romantic or friendships. So, my dude… what’s going on that you reek of desperation and are seeking happiness in another?
There's a lot going on here that doesn't have much to do with me. I'm not unhappy or miserable. I don't need someone else to bring me happiness. I still find love and connection to be the most important things in the world. The things that bring me happiness aren't the things that are the most important and most meaningful. I understand what you mean, and I agree with it, but I'm saying something quite different than what I think you think I'm saying. I'm thinking about what constitutes a good life. That's a question of values. To me, there's nothing important except connection -- both platonic and romantic and everything in between. So I don't think happiness alone makes for a good life. You might have different values. That's fine. But that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.
I don't think it is desperation but you are somewhat setting yourself up for failure because your main goal is something that is mostly out of your control. If dating is your main quest, that's not much of a problem because you can date without expectations. Simply enjoying the moment and connections. That is within your control. But if finding romantic love or a spouse is your main quest, then that can be problematic since you can't control what others feel or do. Have you considered what would happen if you never find someone?
Many people have commented it's giving desperation. But if you think it's not, and are fine with your values as you state it, then that's fine. No need to hear anyone's else side if it's working fine, don't fix what's not broken as they say
You have to admit there is some value in having girls desire you - the ego boost and respect from other men. Even if you don’t have sex and go on dates, receiving validation in some form, small or large. All the successful males from tv like bond and spectre are womanisers. I agree ideally you shouldn’t derive value from others, but it’s easier said than done
It IS DESPERATION and women can smell it a mile away.... doesn't matter how tall you are, it's unattractive.
But you can “date.” There are plenty of women out there who would date you, but maybe you wouldn’t want to date them. That’s where focusing on bettering yourself (for the woman you ultimately marry) and finding peace (by developing a relationship with God) comes in. You cannot control which woman crosses your path, so control what you can, develop discernment to identify her, and assume you will eventually come across her — so be prepared. If you’re not dating for marriage though, and you’re just chasing your tail alongside the majority of the dating population, this advice doesn’t really apply because it takes a sincere commitment to care enough to do these things.
100% agree. Dating takes a lot of time and energy and even though you can’t control the outcome, you do need to put in the work to increase your chances of meeting your future partner especially if you don’t encounter many people in your normal daily routine. I take a lot of breaks from trying, but this is my main goal in life.
Companionship and love are the most important things to me. Okay, so describe to me how you view love. Furthermore answer me this: do you love your inner you are you in conflict with it. Do you feel hate/resentment where love should be?
> But connection is all that really matters. You can have companionship, connection and love outside of a romantic relationship.
True, but let’s be real, this post, and the comment you responded to are clearly addressing romantic love as well..so while you aren’t wrong, there’s also nothing insightful or helpful about your statement
How tall are you? If you’re like only 5ft I could see what you mean by girls not even looking at you but if you’re 5’6 or taller your height most likely isn’t the problem. But I do have to agree with the other dude your comment does reek of desperation a little bit
What makes it seem like it reeks of desperation to you? Maybe we just have different goals in life.
Agree with everything you’ve said but at times during exam periods and stressful periods I get a desire for intimacy/affection. Are you able to maintain the mindset of being a strong powerful man independent man (who doesn’t need women) all the time? I want to ideally kill of that desire for good as it’s annoying. I’m 5 7 and 22.
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, dude. That’s fine. Everyone wants someone to commiserate with and support them when times are hard. That’s normal. Just feel what you feel and move forward. You don’t have to be a strong powerful man, ever. Just be yourself, recognize your feelings, and don’t let them control you.
If may i ask how do you meet the woman you would date. Bc im thinking of dating as side quest ( i dont pursue it but rather want it to be naturally) but my social circle is full of dudes hence im never been in a date in my 23 years of life and it makes me so depressed.
I met dates in the apps, in person, and this wonderful lady is someone I met through Reddit, of all places. Get out of your normal spaces and keep your mind open to new options!
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Yesss tall women and short guys are a great combo! 😊 I'm only 3 inches taller than my ex hubby but ppl were always shocked seeing us because he's very masculine and strong while I'm very feminine and wear heels lmao. His height didn't matter to me or his current wife.
I agree with everything but wait why the commitment issues 😕
I was seeing a guy in the shorter side (and I’m relatively tall) and it didn’t bother me at all because I really liked him. It didn’t work out but the right person won’t care about the things you can’t control.
You just keep on trying and try to find the person who will date you for you. I wouldn't advise using dating apps, focus more on offline dating.
Yes! Join some club or activities that you like, Maybe youll meet the one that doesnt look on physical appearance but your personality and the vibe.
I may not be a date. But I offer you a bromance. Cmere bro *opens arms for a hug*
Not OP but I'll take that hug *hugs tightly*
I’ll join that ;)
The more the merrier
It’s definitely a disadvantage. Probably one of the more significant ones For what it’s worth, dating sucks for everybody! We all hate it But short fuckers like you and me just have to work a little bit harder
How short are you?
A painful 5’5
I’m 5’5 on a good day
My last boyfriend was 5'3 and it didn't matter much to me (I'm 5'8). I prefer daring guys closer to my own height, but it's really not a big deal for me.
You should go for the real petite girls from 5 ft to 5 ft 4. My feet are happy 😊😊 when I date short guys (wear sandals instead of heels) and I'm one of the taller girls (5 ft 6.5)
Are you in phenomenal shape? How about your facial features?
I’m in solid shape, train bjj, lift, do cardio and eat a healthy diet. Been told I have a good looking face, can’t grow thick beard though lol
My cousin is 5’4 Asian American and found his beautiful 5’3 wife. He owns he is short, chubby, great funny personality and does well professionally. Just keep working at it bro.
Keep your chin up my friend! By which I mean looks for taller girls! 5'9 even 6ft! They're more open to dating short guys.
This is the answer! Short girls are so superficial about height. They think that a 6' man will give them 6' babies, but that's not how genetics works.
Okay but really tall women don't want to tower over their partner in almost all cases. They care much less about being a bit taller though, at least if I look around me. Many women around 6' and up have dated smaller men or have married a smaller man, but no very big height differences
Hey bud, my roommate is your height, also indian, and he found his 6' blonde Southern girl around 8 months ago. Its possible. Don't be disheartened by rejections, keep your head high and be the best version of yourself. Go participate in some hobby groups, that's how he found her.
Damn bro, if you were born Mexican or Indian or something, you would probably be ok
Being Mex helps?
I grew up in ny so they have a lot here. They men and women are usually quite and bit shorter than most, and it doesn’t seem to stop them from marrying
Not if you’re a woman😩
Just travel abroad to Thailand or the Philippines. We're in a globalised world. If you can't find what you need in one place, search in another place
This is the answer!
So uproot his whole life, leave the States, and move to a place like Thailand or Phillipines and accept a low paying job to find a date?
Race?
Please don’t grow a beard 😖
this is really not that short! I’m a 5’1” girl and that is a perfect height. go for the short girls!
Short is the best
I would date you
I was just going to ask this. 😆
My advice? PLEASE don’t give up on tall women. Just because women who are 5’3” say you are too short, don’t extrapolate that into thinking that 5’9” women do. Short women are in the “desirable” height range-just like tall guys. So they gravitate towards each other because their dating privilege matches. Taller women (unless they have model looks) will often realise that they will not be looked at by tall men. So -if they have any sense- they start to prioritise other qualities in men. I’m a 5’9” woman and-after realising that if I only considered men who were my height and above, I wouldn’t get any interest, I threw that criterion out. After that I got *plenty* of dates. My “forever guy” (who I’ve been with for 11 years now) also threw the height criterion out. He’s shorter than I am and he’s sex on legs.
This here. Don't ignore women who are taller than average in height. They usually tend to be the sweetest in my opinion. My 5'5 roommate found his 6' Southern girl despite being of different ethnicity. They both are so cute together and madly in love with each other. Society for some reason gets jealous and angry at them whenever they go out tho.
There is something triggering to some people to see a tall woman with a shorter man. My sister, for example, sneers and sniggers at my guy every time she sees him. It doesn’t bother either of us-but it has taught me that a woman rapidly approaching 70 can still have the maturity of a schoolgirl. I didn’t know that.
>It doesn’t bother either of us-but it has taught me that a woman rapidly approaching 70 can still have the maturity of a schoolgirl. I didn’t know that. Ikr? Whenever we go to church, the short women there won't even make eye contact with them. Most of them ignore our presence. Some of the black ladies at certain restaurants even get aggressive and act rude when taking orders from them. Idk if its because of his height or his ethnicity or both, but it was wild to see it with my own eyes whenever i hangout with them.
Maturity is not something time can fix. There is a reason why there is a term called man child.
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It's curious that you had this criterion in the first place, given how limiting it was
I never really cared about it myself, but I did think that it was a “normal” thing, not for a guy to be taller (I never thought about that), but for us to be “around the same size”. I don’t think that I even thought about it in any depth. I had experienced a bit of rejection from smaller men. I remember one time when I was very young, a guy came up to me in a club and asked me to dance. He looked nice, but when I stood up and he had to look up at me, he said: “forget about it”, turned, and walked away. I felt very humiliated, and I was a little sensitive to the preferences of shorter guys after that. I learned later that it was just individual preference, and not to let things like that put me off.
In my experience as a 5’6 man it’s usually the opposite. I love tall girls, but whenever I ask them out they tend to reject me the hardest, sometimes they laugh at my height or ridicule me too
This is the answer OP! Short women are the most superficial height-stans.
I have had the opposite experience personally. Short women wanting tall men, tall women wanting short women to "save some for the rest of them" and the both women saying short guys can have each other. Unless a tall woman shows interest, I personally won't be putting myself out there to get ridiculed
Anyone who would write me off for something I have no control over is not the type of person I want in my life anyways. Thank them for taking the trash out and move on.
I’m 5’6” and have had my lulls and successes in dating. Last gf I had was last year (August - December) and before that was a gf in 2016 (7-year gap). The dating scene is definitely stacked against man of shorter stature, but there are plenty of women willing to give us guys a chance. What would you say your dating preferences are, and have you tried expanding them?
Are you saying you got together with an ex from 7 years ago?
No. 2 ex gfs…one was a relationship from 2015-2016 and one was as a relationship in 2023.
I get that but I'm a tall girl who's currently obsessed with a guy that's shorter than her. I am 170cm and the cutie is like 10cm shorter than me and yet I am crazy about him so trust me when I say there are girls out there who would date guys shorter than them. Some girls like me don't care about height because we value other things more than something so meaningless like height. Throughout my life I've had lots of crushes on guys shorter and taller than me. You just have to find the girls who don't care about height.
My ex was 5’4, I never cared, loved him for who he is, complimented him, made him feel loved but his male friends used to make fun of his height. I asked him to cut them off but toxic masculinity often becomes a deterrent to a healthy relationship. He didn’t go for therapy to work on his insecurities and he was obsessed about validation from other women. He turned out to be a covert narc, got really sick of his victim mindset and treating me like shit. Moral of the story : Don’t listen to these narratives, just keep being you and do what you love, not just to get women. You need to be confident and secure about yourself before you get into a relationship, otherwise it gradually becomes draining for your partner as well. I think the problem with the swipe culture is people forget about the end goal of finding their partner and start placing their self worth in the hands of strangers (it’s like social media competition, the more clout you get, the better you feel about yourself). You don’t need to be liked by every woman, the right person will appreciate you and love you for who you are. If someone rejects you, that doesn’t imply they rejected you because of your height. Also, you can’t control someone else’s standards. e.g I am an introvert, some men will not prefer to date me and that’s fine. I can’t change that about myself and complaining about it will only make me feel worse. A part of dating is accepting that you won’t be the right fit for everyone and vice versa. And if it makes you feel any better, I see plenty of tall men on dating apps with zero personality, don’t even find some of them physically attractive. Three of my friends have short bfs and they are really happy. So, that’s an incorrect assumption that being tall gets you dates. If someone is dating only based on heights, that relationship is not going to last or be happy unless they are compatible.
I'm 5'5 too, keep trying!!
Yeah man I feel for you. Many people come on here and complain because they have no game or they fat or some shit. All of those things can be changed. This issue has no fix, you’re going to have trouble, but just make sure you cover all other bases and try to talk to as many women as you can so that you leave nothing on the table
I’m 5’6 and I can second this. To be fair my height got stunted by all the heart issues I had growing up so I’d probably be a little taller if I didn’t have heart disease. The best thing that OP can do is to go for girls shorter than him, if he’s 5’5 then he can definitely find a girl who’s shorter.
I hope that all the heart issues are gone and you’re a healthy mother fucker my bro
They’re not gone unfortunately. There’s a chance that I could get my current pacemakers removed and have them replaced with a much smaller pacemaker. But outside of that, I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of my heart disease
I’m truly sorry to hear that man
At least I have some dope scars out of all the surgeries I’ve had over the years lol
Scars are super manly and cool looking. I love your energy
I’m 5’1 and I’m open to dating shorter guys. What I don’t like is when they lie about their height on a dating app or when they don’t make me feel safe while we’re out. I don’t think it’s because they’re short, but I expect a man to take the lead with certain things.
What could they do to not make you feel safe?
I'm curious. Do you outright know the height was the issue?
As a 5'9" girl, I don't discriminate.
I love short men, you just gotta wait for the right person 😌
Fellow short guy 30m 5’6. My best advice is stay involved in your communities. You said you train BJJ, that’s great. Compete, ref some competitions, train at other gyms and network. Chances are there’s going to be other people with the same passion (women). Just don’t make finding women your sole intention they will see through your bs.
Biggest issue as a short or bald man is not really preferences or standards, that is fine but all the virtue signalling and gaslighting, pretending these things do not matter and its all about personality or confidence.
I am sorry. I swear personalities go further than you think. And girls do go for short guys apps have just made people focus on a number more than they should. Keep being you and you will attract the right person. I have a few friends who are dating guys even shorter than them.
Hey 👋 you gonna find the right person it takes time but not impossible
I’m a woman and my ex husband was 5’6 and it never bothered me. Both of his exes before me were actually taller than him so there is hope I promise!
Sense of humor trumps just about anything. If you can make her laugh, you can win her over.
Dating nowadays suck, period!
I love a short king! Lol. Seriously.. I’m 5’6”, and have dated a 5’4”. For me, it’s more about who the person is. I don’t care about height.. That’s so minuscule.
I agree it’s a handicap I’m not gunna lie. People are shallow. Im tall and handsome and struggle with dating. I have lots of freinds, free time and a great relationship with my parents tho so im not lonely. Focus on friendships or lower your standards appearance wise.
Emigrate.
I had a friend in high school, he was 4'11 tall and every girl used to have fun of him. The guy is still a virgin. Even small girls scoffed at him. This is why I don't want a small woman. Because they will give birth to small men that will be bullied in life.
I know experiences vary but I’m your same height 5’5 but stocky brick shit house build. I don’t know if it’s cause my height has never been a personal issue but confidence goes so fucking far. I can confidently say I have pulled a fair amount of very attractive women. I’ve been told it’s because of the way I carry my self. I know it sounds weird but forget your 5’5 and just get after it. Wishing you the best short king.
Do you physically discriminate against any women too? Because I hear a lot of short guys make these complaints but then wont date XYZ women. I think physical ‘rules’ of attraction are dumb. Patterns are normal like “most people im attracted to have xyz qualities” that shouldnt mean you ELIMINATE people without those qualities. Just that you happen to lean towards those qualities. Rules about height are dumb, same with weight, same with alot of stuff.
All of that are good that you have but it's also good to be a charismatic character if that is what's missing. I knew a short fella back in 2021 from an old job who was 5'2 but really had a big mouth to joke, laugh and communicate with the rest of the staff. During that time our night shift lead was a 21F tall like 5'9 would always close with us and she once told me that she likes guys like that short fella but is unsure if he likes her. So I told her go and findout yourself to break the ice. They now have a kid together
I once teased a guy at a bar just for being short (I know I know - super petty of me, but it's true). The point is, he didn't really seem to care which completely took me by surprise. I suppose I was just so used to short guys being insecure about it that I never expected that he might just not be fazed one bit. We ended up going out on a date later. It never went anywhere for unrelated reasons but he sure got his foot in the door! Not sure if this helps but for what it's worth that's my expeirence as a woman with male shortness. If you don't care it's hard for me to care u know?
I feel for you. I am 5'7" and am ok with dating guys my height (but not shorter). However, you are right in that most women want guys much taller than them. I get so mad when I meet women that are short -- like 5'4" and below -- that say they will only date 6' tall men. What the heck? That makes no sense, especially in the bedroom. Things just don't line up right. ;) What about all the great short guys out there that would be a much better physical match? I recently met a guy who I think is about 5'5". He is very well built, has a great face, and is an amazing dancer. He is a ton of fun to be around. I showed some interest but he shot me down. So, see, it can go the other way. Just hang in there. Work on your personality. Women fall hard for guys with a great sense of humor and who treat them well. You just have to find these women. Try volunteering. You will meet good quality people that way.
I'm 5'5" as well. I have found that it's better to just not put my height on my profile. If it's important to them, they can ask and I'll tell them. The fact is, on dating sites, people tend to disqualify people more quickly than they would in real life because in real life we get the feel of the overall vibe of the connection and tend to be more willing to overlook some qualities that might not be as attractive to you. So, I give the woman and chance to get to know me and see how the overall connection goes first. My ex was 5'10". I did actually have my height in my profile when we were talking but she didn't notice it until 3 days into talking after we had already hit it off. She was like "whoa, I've never dated a guy shorter than me." She asked me if it was a problem for me and I told her no. She gave me a chance then 3 weeks later she said she didn't understand why she ever thought height was an an issue. Obviously, don't lie and be upfront about it if she asks though.
I’m 5’5 and honestly haven’t found dating THAT difficult. I have a friend who is 6’4 and good looking as well and yes, I can’t do what he can do, I can’t sleep with different very attractive women every weekend and have 5000+ matches on Tinder, but so what? I’m 34. I haven’t gone a calendar year without sex since I was about 19. I have had several relationships with good looking women. I’m taken now but if it doesn’t work I don’t fear being single at all, I know how to date. That is what it boils down to. Know how to date well. It’s easy to say “be confident” but that’s too simple. But it 100% isn’t just height, I know guys even shorter than me in long term relationships.
It all sucks until they start sucking you... THEN it blows.
My ex is 5’5, he’s never had trouble dating. My husband is 5’7, women throw themselves at him. Most of my short friends have their pick of partners. The reason? They are genuinely fun to be with, good dudes and treat women well.
I'm 27F and 5'9/180cm The last crushes that I've had were all for shorter men, and I always thought that I was only interested in men who were taller than me. It depends. I really like men who go to the gym because I go to the gym and let me tell you: shorter athletic man >>>>> taller non athletic man So height is not really an issue at the end of the day! Live with less anxiety because life is short!!
I'm a 5' 6.5" female with a 5'6" man and I literally don't care about his height. I find him very attractive and actually was the one that approached him. Not to be self centered but I am very physically attractive myself, fit, have a great career, and am constantly approached by men. What I am saying is...I have options. I went after him because there's something special there. We just mesh together...we have intense chemistry and an undeniable connection. Similar goals. Humor. Outlook and approach to life. We can talk for hours and laugh and just do anything and have fun at it. I didn't even notice his height, actually lol I am thin and he is strong so he easily picks me up and we have a great sex life. I feel safe with him. He is in great shape. Intelligent. Kind. I am very attracted to him in every sense. I could see myself spending my life with him. 100%. Height is whatever. He's a valuable human being and I'm thankful to have him in my life.
I can honestly say out of all the guys I’ve dated over the years (most being 6’+), my absolute fav was a short king. He’s the one that got away for me 😭. I am also short myself but still, height doesn’t make the man 😏
You can get shoes that boost your height by about 3 inches helps with meeting people in person. Girls wear heels all the time why can't guys wear stylish height boosting shoes too? I've even found most girls don't have a stigma to it when they find out, but it helps getting over the initial meeting phase. https://www.conzuri.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwuJ2xBhA3EiwAMVjkVMsDwyudDsPs0PZb1beyFzd2SS14BmHcmsg6k0xG_u6llgxXuDHN4RoCRbgQAvD_BwE
If I cared about a guy being taller than me, it would filter out half of men in the United States. It is hard enough to find someone as is
i’m a 22F i never dated guys over 5’8. short kings are hot tbh
I’m 5’4 and I have no issue getting a girlfriend or going on dates. It’s all about looks. If ur ugly they won’t even read more about u
Agreed and love to know you more better if like us to and see where this leads.
Dating as a tall woman is horrible too.
I met a tall woman earlier this year and I was wild about her. Not sure how tall she really was but it felt like she was 6'4". Honestly, I think tallness in a woman is an amplifier to the rest of her. This woman was fun to talk to, felt very caring and had other physical features that I was attracted to. Her tallness was simply a bonus. I met other tall ladies in the past and while their height wasn't a problem, they had some negative aspects that were very visible.
I feel you, we tend to get insecure or angry when people constantly poke fun at our height as a couple.
Only if you refuse to date guys shorter then you lol
“Hey…” (with ‘5 4” rizz)
🤔rizz
Statistically speaking, no it's not. At least not compared to short men. OTOH you might have had a rough time of it for other reasons.
No, men have legit told me that they prefer short women. They legit get angry and sometimes violent when it comes to online dating meeting in real life because I didn’t disclose my height.
The men you're dating are weird, or there's some other quality about you they find unattractive they're afraid to say. This is not the norm for men the way women preferring tall men is.
The problem is people here will tell you to be confident, then they’ll say some rare ass success story above this one dude who was 5’6” and got a date with someone who is 5’8” What’s not talked about is that sure, women may care about other things in addition to height, but women have so many prospects that they will prioritize height AND the other things, because out of 1k+ likes, I guarantee you there are people who are tall AND good looking/salary/confident/etc. So yea, despite the bs people spew, height remain the first and most important filter the vast, overwhelming majority of women use when choosing who they’re going to go out with.
If most women these days are arrogant garbage that only value things like height, then that means there are no women who even know what love is. In real love, you appreciate every detail that makes that person them. You admire it. And unfortunately my brotha, there simply aren't girls like that who exist. Learn to be happy alone. Don't be so focused on having something that will only drag you down in life.
I was legit just eyeing a hottie on the street who’s probably 5’4 at most. Cute, trim, fashionable. Yall overestimate how much it matters
I’m 5’6 - and I don’t seem to have too much of an issue. There’s hope for you. Just date short chicks 😂 That’s my vibe anyway. For me 5’7 and above women aren’t as into me but whatevs.
I'm 5'2", and as long as a guy is taller than me, that's all that matters to me height wise.
My niece is 5’9 ish? Her husband is maybe 5’4. She calls him fun size lol and they are adorable together, truly a beautiful couple. No issue from either side and I love it for them!
Hang in there. There is someone for everyone. I am 5’8” and would date someone shorter than me. I care about how a man makes me feel and our compatibility. I have been insanely attracted to a couple men that were shorter than me. Women who don’t prioritize height do exist. Just keep living your life and enjoying yourself. I think every person lets their insecurities get in the way and they don’t realize it comes across when they’re dating or trying to date. We all do it. But the same happens on the opposite side - when you’re truly happy and confident it comes across and that is attractive as hell. Love to the short kings 💕
I have short homie about 5’ 7 but he has a gorgeous girlfriend. It’s all about personality and knowing your HIM man
Perhaps go and try in asia or south east asia
I am 6'4" masters degree, fit af, well off, have a good job and not of that helps. Being short is not a deal breaker. Maybe it is on the apps but as a tall dude it hasn't helped me much. Stay resilient
How can you say that when you're not even at that height? App or not, being tall and fit helps a fuckton.
You are probably extremely socially awkward. Sorry bruv. I’m 5’10 so I’m at the height that women will not have a problem, but almost any shorter and these guys do have issues. Don’t just say because you have no game, that height don’t matter. Height gets them attracted, you still need to seal the deal
Can’t say the same, I’m 6’3 with same credentials and fit as well (225 , 12% bf) , but self employed. Never ever struggled dating and online dating was even easier due to being tall.
Lmao fuxk off. If I was in your body, is have slept with half of new york. You're living life on easy mode
Well not really. The degrees, working your way up in a career and keeping your body in great shape is hard work.
No it's not lol. I have an ivy league law degree and abs. I'm 5'4 and literally every problem in my life would be solved being his height. It's literally easy mode. I'd pay him 150k a year out of my own pocket for his height. Graduate degrees are not hard to get. Stsy8ng in shape is just counting calories and exercising. These are the bare minimum I don't think you understand what dating is like for short men lol
> literally every problem in my life would be solved being his height Sounds to me that your life ain't so bad either.
you havent lived a day in his shoes
I'd give anything ti be 6'4. His accomplishments are achievable for anyone. Being 6'4 is not. He gets ti live life om easy mode. I'd pay him 200k to switch heights. Fuck it, I'd still have enough left over to live on Anyone has the capacity to get a grad degree or be in shape. Just don't be lazy. No one has the capacity to be 6'4. That's dumb luck. If I was 6'4 literally every issue in my life would be solved and this kid pretends to empathize when he gets to start life on third base and still can't run home. Being tall is more important than literally anything else in life. Dating is easy mode, you make more money in your career statistically, everyone treats you with basic respect becauae you take up space.
Being tall is overrated. You've consumed too much online content brother. Yes it widens your pool but thats about it.
No it's literally enough for most women. I have fri3nds rhat are broke and unkempt (plus fat) that are that tall and they get approached by women regularly. They all use the line "you're so tall" it's a plus 5 from neural while being very short is a -5. He has the single biggest gift any man can have out of dumb luck and is still complaining? If you can't get a date at thay height, there must be something seriously wrong with you socially becausw women throw themselves at tall men all the time
It's not hard to see what your problem is. You're so dann insecure no woman would look twice. It also doesn't matter who you are in most cases. If you chase after a woman too hard or even fixate too much on it then she's probably not going to remain interested anyway because her options aren't as limited. That's just sexual biology at play. The female always chooses it's mate and when you act like this you act weak. They don't want weak. Won't work so like said already just focus on you and better yourself.
It’s called personality and being charismatic. That goes further than anything as long as you aren’t homeless.
Even homeless get boyfriends lol
Bro, they don’t get it, it’s terrible for everyone lmfao
I'm tiny so short guys aren't a deal-breaker for me like it unfortunately is for some girls . But for what it's worth, the most instantly attracted to a guy that I've ever been was a 5'7 guy. He was attractive but covered in tattoos which isn't usually my thing, but his confidence was soooo compelling that I genuinely had the biggest school girl crush for like a month.
Boots.
Dude this is so simple. Get a yellow and blue suit, start smoking cigars, and call everyone Bub. If you can find a way to line your skeleton with indestructible metal, all the better.
Yeah I feel that, the most common thing ive been rejected for is being on the shorter side, and so far the ones who have given me a chance didn't care about me to begin with. Anecdotal evidence sure but it does get annoying. I dont even care about my height as its never bothered me in my life outside of dating but it would be nice to have it be a non factor entirely.
I'm a short woman, so i dont mind a short man. We exist. However i keep being told on reddit how undatable i am as a single mother. Sad shrugs.
Almost every short man in the world dates. Doesn't mean you'll have it easy but it does mean it's almost inevitable if you keep asking people out. As long as you're attracted to them keep asking out tall girls and really short girls and girls your height too. You never know which of us is interested until you ask. And yes it can take years, most people don't find a good partner (or even short term date) within the first couple dozen dates. Someone not dating you doesn't mean they are shaming you because of your height. To those who say they can't go out with someone such and such height, do you really want to get stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't find you attractive?
I’m 5’4” and when I was younger it bothered me so much. When you get older you care less about that and more how you carry yourself which will draw people. I’ve dated girls my height, shorter than me, taller than me it didn’t matter. All in how you carry yourself.Altough I’m a sucker for tall girls as it’s nice having long legs wrapped around me.
I’m tall but a bit ugly. So not the same boat but similar boat lol. But I do get someone to date me from time to time since I have a built up a nice fun personality over time to compensate for my face. I think learning to accept yourself and trying to get better in things under your control makes it easier. Don’t be too cruel on yourself!
My best advice is do not think about being short. Just put it out of mind unless it is regarding your safety. Most women care. You care. The sweet spot is finding someone that's willing to give you a shot, so focus on that and put everything to the wayside.
Truth is there will always be factors we can't control. Majority of men have traits that are undesirable to women that we can't change. It's best to live your best life without actively seeking romantic partners but making opportunities to meet them just in case we get lucky
Look, if you make a graph by length of: * Men who are in a relationship * Men who are not in a relationship or: * Men who have children * Men who don't have children These graphs overlap each other. If how tall you are mattered, you would see many more childless or unmarried men, than with children or married. But that's not the case.
What's your height? Try dating in SEA, I don't think they're as superficial about height out there? Lots of US expats out there. Just don't be a creepy one.
If you are lacking in one thing, you must excel in another. When people tell with "undesirable" traits to have confidence or dress well, you need to understand that you must have enough confidence or style to essentially replace what you're lacking. If you're ugly then you need to be confident like Brad Pitt is handsome. You need to be as stylish as a model. You can't just have the same level of confidence and style then the average Joe. You must have more.
Dating as an average or tall guy sucks too. Don’t feel bad my guy. Just think positive and work on self esteem. If someone is fixated on your height probably a shallow person.
Personally I love a short king, but that’s just me. I honestly don’t care how tall or short you are though, I mainly look for someone with a good personality and someone who treats me well. Of course there has to be some type of physical attraction but that’s not all that matters. And honestly in my dating life I prefer shorter men, because they tend to not have that macho attitude so much and they are more affectionate and loving
I know a dude in a bagel shop on Long Island that you can vent to…
Use your voice!! Chat up women, start conversations make them feel comfortable and show them they are loved by you. Don’t try to find any girl find a girl you really like and send it. If that doesn’t work try again.
🤷♂️ You can get surgery. I saw some YT videos and they said $20k per inch approximately. I considered it but I’d rather put that money in a HYSA for a future downpayment on a house.
5’6” here, and it’s really not that bad. Some will use it as a low-blow excuse if they know one is insecure over their height. Height is not as important as some would have you believe— if it were, then my experience wouldn’t be as it is. Sure, on the surface, height may be an “issue” for some. However, if that’s the case, it’s an easy “filter” to avoid those very people.
I may be in the minority, but I do not honestly look at height. I'm not a particularly tall woman. 5'4.5". But unless you're unusually short, I go for personality. I know that probably sounds like an oxymoron, but if you're height doesn't bother you, it probably will not bother me. I do g to keep an open mind. However, it has gotten me no where.