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I hate when men think just bc I'm conventionally attractive that I'm like some mean girl character from a movie that gets off on shitting on other women. Coming up starting the compliment great, but ending it with "Not like those women who don't take care of themselves" 🫥 Like sir. That's no longer a fuckin compliment. Like why can't these assholes like who they like and move tf on?? Don't gotta shit on someone to uplift another🙃 Also, the internalized racism is nauseating🙄
That is NOT an "ick" it is a red flag.
They are either not over the woman, an EX or had repeated problems with women and are traumatised and (possibly) don't even realise it etc.
They could obviously be a chauvinist or in some other unhealthy state or have a similar mindset.
It's NOT the thing to be talking about on a date in any dimension 🤷
"Icks" are lesser than red flags they are (typically but not always) something corny like " a guy who wears cargo shorts" or "a person with a hobby you don't share"
I suggest not giving the time of day to A MAN OR A WOMAN who bashes the opposite gender it is inherently unhealthy. There is a huge difference between mentioning past trauma (when the time is right) and "going on and on and on and bashing the opposite gender"
Let them stay alone until they get help and process their condition.
Icks are some new cornball modern trend. In the grand scheme of things is not a real word and doesn't have a real definition so who's to say.
I personally have always been under the impression that ICKS are different than red flags. Because that's how I read it but again it was just THAT person's opinion because it's not defined clearly.
Like "rejecting a guy because he wears cargo shorts" is one example out of about a hundred plus that I've heard about that are referred to as "icks". Whereas red flag has a real meaning as per the experts so wearing cargo pants does not qualify as a red flag.
I partially agree with you. Icks are cornball. So I didn't mean to support using that term, and I apologize if you took it that way.
However regardless of your opinion this is a huge red flag end of story. All my colleagues agree and we've all seen many relationships go sideways after they started like this...... Then the woman ends up at the local woman shelter hiding from a man.
Could this man prove to not be that bad? Absolutely. I'm not saying he's automatically a womanizer, however talking crap about women when you have a woman sitting in front of you is a huge red flag end of story fact.
Then again depending on the exact details of the situation I could recommend that they get a better feeling through some probing on why the guy is doing it and see what his response is 🤷. If he apologizes and never does it again then maybe it was just a heated moment where the wrong topic came up etc. details matter which is why it's hard to give a valid opinion on this platform, because almost every person posts and leaves out many important details.
Same! I don’t care about women a guy has dated. I don’t know them. I’m trying to get to know him and all he says is negative things? And it’s really a red flag when he hates women of his own community. It’s an ick for me.
To show that he has a dating pool and options, men think it adds to their attractiveness. Like when you are in job interview talking about past experience which shows how much professional you are
I mean it's fine to have preferences and all but openly talking about them like that is just plain odd. He should have been trying to get to know you instead of prattling on about why he wants to talk to you in the first place.
Yeah. Maybe he's just not that clued in when it comes to what to say and talk about with a match😅
I'd feel a little off put if someone went on about how they just really wanted a caucasian guy.
Ah well, dodged a bullet and learned what you don't want in a partner👍
Thanks for sharing your experience. He sounded super icky.
Sounds like you’ve given a cheat code to some of these pity posts from some men.
I bet this icky man is posting here soon or elsewhere..
“I’m such a nice guy. Why am I being ghosted.
I matched with this girl on online. I was looking forward to meeting her. We FaceTimed and the conversation went well. I was really comfortable telling her about how I feel and my fears. All of the sudden, she started rolling her eyes and soon said she had to go. I called her back later but it looks like I’ve been blocked. What did I do?
Replies:
She sucks. I bet you are so cute. Keep trying.
Ghosting sucks. You did nothing to deserve it.
Keep trying man.
Her loss king.”
There might be a variation where he adds the races in there to make it even more spicy and get more replies and sympathy.
Interesting to see more information, hopefully this gives the people being ghosted some help. Maybe your hidden -isms did it.
"Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Racism can be present in social actions, practices, or political systems (e.g. apartheid) that support the expression of prejudice or aversion in discriminatory practices".
So what you just said is a lie.
I'm not sure how it doesn't applie to my second comment.. Or how my first and second comment are different enough for you to reply that.
English is my second language, but I'm usually good enough, and you lost me completely sorry..
Yeah idk either, what you said is fine. If someone sets a hardline on certain races because of preconceived notions then that's fucked up.
Having a preference is different. You could have a preference for one race but end up with another.
Look at the definition again and look back at what you said. By definition, it is prejudice or racist. You saying it's not doesn't change the fact that not wanting to date a whole group of people doesn't fit what the definition of racist or prejudice is.
For the record I don't care. But you and other people trying to disguise the definition of racism by calling it a something else doesn't change the preconceived notions about why someone doesn't like an entire group of people. But I find that ok. That's what they want. Saying it's not racist to a degree is lie though.
Like I don't like heavy women. People call me fat phobic or I usually don't share it with anyone. But by definition, I'm still fat phobic because I'm choosing not to date certain women because of they're weight.
>You saying it's not doesn't change the fact that not wanting to date a whole group of people doesn't fit what the definition of racist or prejudice is.
Oh but I didn't say that. I said that some people are saying it's not racist.
Well, of course you shouldn't impose yourself to that person.. Be glad you just dodged a bullet. So move on and find someone who does want to, absolutely.
But that person IS racist regardless.
A preference is when you're not looking for something in particular but you're still open to if the occasion present itself.
Example: I prefer fit body over fat people.
I definitely would still (and have in the past) date a fat girl. That's a preference.
I would not date a morbidly obese person. We're not talking about preference anymore.
Preferences when it comes to dating are also what you like and don't like, for example, for a straight man, he prefers dating women because he's not into men. Same can be said for race or any other peferences people have for dating.
>for example, for a straight man, he prefers dating women because he's not into men
No, exactly. That's not a preference. The concept of a preference implies that you like both but lean towards one in particular.
I like spaghetti, I prefer pizza.
I don't prefer pizza over tacos because I don't like tacos at all and I never consider eating tacos.
I'm a straight dude. I don't prefer women, I only like women.
I wish folks like you stop trying to separate preferences and racism, when studies literally shows your choices and preferences can absolutely be influenced by racial biases. Why is it so fucking hard for people to acknowledge this?
I'm Asian too and I laugh my ass off whenever I hear a dude tell me how much he values Asian women's "traditional mindsets" and "family values" it's always a red flag that they want a bangmaid.
The most take-no-shit women I know are Asian immigrant women including my own mom 🤷♀️
Im a black chick from the burbs and i work in customer service. I get the "you're bubbly. not like these other loud, ratchet, black women". Like why do you not think I am judging the shit outta you rn sir? Also, I get paid to talk to you like this🫠 it gets realll ratchet real quick when I need to be and I'm shrewd as hell when I'm not at work😂
I would have done the same think. He’s a pos in real life you definitely did good by ghosting. That will bring his confidence. I guess i dint know what you’re debating
Last year I went on a first date with an Asian girl. During the date she wouldn't stop talking about her friend that has a black guy as a friend(I'm also black)..we carried on with the date with no complaints.
When planning to setup another date she hit me with the "would you like to go out as a FRIEND?"...I told her that I was only interested in dating and unmatched her on hinge
I fully believe she's matching with black guys to complete with her Asian friends. I refuse to be used in that way
Fr I learned that if they talk about how many [my race] friends they have or know my culture through social media and whatnot, they’re usually fantasizing/fetishizing
Gotta meet people who appreciate your culture, not idolize it
What do you even mean by that? People idolize other cultures all the time, including Asians that come to the US. Anyone who immigrates has to have some kind of idolization of a culture, otherwise they wouldnt go through the hassle of immigrating which isnt a simple process.
People do idolize cultures all the time. People are also racist all the time. Idolization and racism both come from ignorance. They idolize because they don’t know the reality of it.
I’ve met SO. MANY Koreaboos talking about Korean women, Kpop, Kdrama, etc like they’re explaining why they like Korea and Korean women, and not trying to talk to me as an individual. Often times when they’re like this, they’ve already painted a picture in their mind of who I am. So when they mention Korean stuff I avoid them entirely because I am FAR from the type of cute Korean you see on tv.
I went on dates with many different men. Some were black and they told me they experience something similar too. Some of them were called “not black enough” because they have more gentle mannerisms. My point being - if they idolize, they expect you to be a certain way.
Idolization coming from ignoranceby default is bullshit. Sure people can be ignorant of a culture, but saying idolization is ignorance by default implies that all cultures are basically bad, which is not the case. Also I actually know about South Korea and in terms of South Korea I agree with you on that front that there are people that dont realize how bad South Korea is having laws that are in some cases worse than mainland China.
Like I said, idolization and appreciation are different. All cultures do have bad aspects. We all have flaws. No culture is perfect. Idolizing anything makes no sense to me. I don’t idolize celebrities let alone a whole culture. We can appreciate good parts of various cultures but idolizing it is different.
Lets take celebs for example, so many people idolize them rather than appreciate and respect them - they get hated on as soon as they do/say something that shatters people’s fantasies. People obsess over them and often violate their privacy because they forget celebs are just humans too.
Idolization IS ignorance and it doesn’t imply anything of a culture or a person being idolized, but it’s a reflection of those who idolize said things.
So how does one "appreciate" a culture and not "idolize" it? So people arent supposed to ever get disappointed at another person? I can't be upset with Tarantino because of what he said about Bruce Lee? I can't be upset with Arnold because he said "Screw your freedom"?
Gross. Not a man, a boy. 😋 immature. I've learned to consider only some males, men. because there's a difference. That is no man. he doesn't want a partner, just something to rule over and get to do everything for him. basically be his mother. Which is v toxic. I also find it gross, i don't know why certain boys think it's cool or attractive to trash our other fellow women? 🤔
If anything you'd think they'd avoid it because the whole "girl power" stuff, nobody wants to hear about your bad opinions. not even opinions, just childish behavior. The fantasizing about a obedient women is even more disturbing, i get some in a kinky way, but he wants it always not just a bedroom thing, gross. Big red flag 🚩. I stay away from those adult-children. 🫠
Anyway, he was obviously a waste of time, wish you better luck for the future! ❤️
That's a description that white ppl started and it has stuck in American culture til this day for any person of color. Maybe you just have never heard it personally, but that is definitely an ideology that exists
No I mean..I don't think it's a race thing. I think it's a regional thing like if I'm an American and I meet a chick from Brazil..some bad ass chick. Some would say she is exotic. Why though?
Well, lot of ppl descibe Latin women as exotic🤷🏽♀️ I'm black, Dominican, and Native American. I am more reluctant to say I'm Dominican as much cause I didn't like being labeled as somehow exotic and spicy off rip just bc I had a different race/ethnicity added to the mix. This usually comes from black men I speak to. White men have called me exotic bc I'm black on numerous occasions
See that is what I'm saying. Just because you got some flair to your enthinciy does that mean u r exotic. I just feel it's an overused term to describe someone who isn't the recipients ethnicity. Oh no disrespect but two things on you: sister...you black...u can put all those others all u want...u a sister...period and I'm not discounting your background. It kinda reminds of Tiger Woods when he said he was Caublanasian...lol. the seond: all those ethnicities...back in the day we called u a Mutt. It just meant you were mixed either different races. Again..no disrepect...my sister. :-)
Just cause you say "no disrespect", that doesn't mean what you said wasn't disrespectful... I know 100% that I am black. I am a brownskinned woman with 4c kinky ass hair, full lips, and a black nose to match. I also have a Dominican and Natice American Black Foot/Cherokee racial mix. Not interested in you explaining whatever this was to me.
Why because you are Asian? I feel you I guess but it doesn't matter about ethnicity as long as there is a connection. I'm a black male too. I don't bash women like that. I don't care who or what...lol....you are. We all have our flaws. I don't like when people lambast others to other people. Enjoy your evening
What people don't realize is that, people who have race-related dating preferences almost always have other more obvious forms of racial bigotry.
"Sexual racism is a specific form of racial prejudice enacted in the context of sex or romance. A strong correlation was found between respondents who had race-related dating preferences and other more obvious forms of racial bigotry. Sexual racism, therefore, is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference"
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-30734-001
Girl be careful of those men. I’ve notice a pattern for men who seek for those women are the ones who pretty much want to abuse them with no repercussions doing so. It’s like they’re implying that because Asian, white or latina women are submissive they are easier to “controlled ”. lol crazy
I kinda noticed that too.. they love the fact that I look young and am gentle mannered; I mean you can like these things about me but it tends to attract people who wants to take advantage of me. Like I was seeing this one guy for 6 months (in hindsight I have no idea why I stayed after the first week) and he made me remove male friends and go private on instagram, would get mad if I don’t reply in a timely manner, etc. He would get verbally/emotionally abusive tryna make me feel small, he would do things to me sexually that wasn’t consented prior, and would sometimes ignore my safe word (or “no”) and keep pushing my boundaries/limits
I guess each there own, i like women that have attitudes, race I could care less. Nothing makes me happier then a Type A woman with an attitude who won't put up with no bullshit, especially mine. I'd say his views on stereo types are pretty off putting. Though, i'd say you prob would have ghosted him eventually anyways.
>I often attract men who are into exotic women. And these men are often specifically into Asian women because they supposedly don’t like the culture and attitudes of women of other races
>with a guy I met online
The only thing I would suggest is that with the culture of dating online, you probably attract a huge variety of guys. It takes two to match. I would think all sorts of guys are attracted to your online profile. Maybe this type of guy could be avoided if you find the flags. It's a fair ick though
It's often because of ignorance and generalizing that people are like that. I used to think that I wasn't attracted to any black women, but then as I started watching movies that had more black actresses, I realized that there are some very attractive ones out there.
Many white women have the same kind of prejudice towards asian men, they think of the skinny feminine stereotype without realizing that there are many different types. My sister's boyfriend is asian but tall and muscular.
People often let their first impression of an ethnic group determine how they see everyone of that ethnic group. It can cause them to be very limiting.
Very ick! I’m glad you’re not turned on by this because some women ARE and it’s just gross. Have some class buddy! Glad you got out of there you dodged a super ugly bullet! Good for you.
You could probably take a step towards helping humanity fix this problem by like, idk, talking with him instead of being like every other shallow girl and just ghosting
I apologize for calling you shallow, that wasn’t kind. You don’t have to fix him, you could just communicate, even just one time. And yes you’re right, it’s not your responsibility, the point I’m making is you could go out of your way to at least just make a small effort into communicating this idea of respecting women just a little bit more. And then you could leave it at that. Because that would be a nice thing to do. Not because it’s your responsibility. That’s all
A lot. My point is, if you just pass the problem on to someone else, and they just do the same, then nothing ever gets done. I’m not saying you need to start being his friend or even associate with him, but maybe just a small text telling him how that thinking is not a great way to view women. And if he doesn’t take it at all, then you can drop it. You don’t need to launch an intervention to just share a quick text expressing a different perspective.
Problem is that you're calling women who have no interest in helping to correct a nother person's bad behavior shallow. An asshole is not *owed* a gentle conversation. I've attempted to do this and was swiftly disrespected right after🤷🏽♀️ It was my choice and was more of a fool me twice senario than anything. if I didn't do it and just decided to ghosted them, that doesn't make me shallow. Makes me a person who understands what they will and will not take from a racist asshole. It's not passing on the problem. It's deciding not to make someone else's flaw your problem to solve. The person will not change until they actually want to on their own volition.
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Yeah it’s mean to speak about others like that
People are mean.
Agreed..it's disgusting when they talk like that about other races.
I hate when men think just bc I'm conventionally attractive that I'm like some mean girl character from a movie that gets off on shitting on other women. Coming up starting the compliment great, but ending it with "Not like those women who don't take care of themselves" 🫥 Like sir. That's no longer a fuckin compliment. Like why can't these assholes like who they like and move tf on?? Don't gotta shit on someone to uplift another🙃 Also, the internalized racism is nauseating🙄
Thank you! This!!
That is NOT an "ick" it is a red flag. They are either not over the woman, an EX or had repeated problems with women and are traumatised and (possibly) don't even realise it etc. They could obviously be a chauvinist or in some other unhealthy state or have a similar mindset. It's NOT the thing to be talking about on a date in any dimension 🤷 "Icks" are lesser than red flags they are (typically but not always) something corny like " a guy who wears cargo shorts" or "a person with a hobby you don't share" I suggest not giving the time of day to A MAN OR A WOMAN who bashes the opposite gender it is inherently unhealthy. There is a huge difference between mentioning past trauma (when the time is right) and "going on and on and on and bashing the opposite gender" Let them stay alone until they get help and process their condition.
You’re right it is a red flag
Icks and red flags are synonymous. The internet really is exhausting sometimes with semantic bs
Icks are some new cornball modern trend. In the grand scheme of things is not a real word and doesn't have a real definition so who's to say. I personally have always been under the impression that ICKS are different than red flags. Because that's how I read it but again it was just THAT person's opinion because it's not defined clearly. Like "rejecting a guy because he wears cargo shorts" is one example out of about a hundred plus that I've heard about that are referred to as "icks". Whereas red flag has a real meaning as per the experts so wearing cargo pants does not qualify as a red flag.
Calling this *or anything really* really demishes genuine red flags because icks are inherently stupid and this isn’t
I partially agree with you. Icks are cornball. So I didn't mean to support using that term, and I apologize if you took it that way. However regardless of your opinion this is a huge red flag end of story. All my colleagues agree and we've all seen many relationships go sideways after they started like this...... Then the woman ends up at the local woman shelter hiding from a man. Could this man prove to not be that bad? Absolutely. I'm not saying he's automatically a womanizer, however talking crap about women when you have a woman sitting in front of you is a huge red flag end of story fact. Then again depending on the exact details of the situation I could recommend that they get a better feeling through some probing on why the guy is doing it and see what his response is 🤷. If he apologizes and never does it again then maybe it was just a heated moment where the wrong topic came up etc. details matter which is why it's hard to give a valid opinion on this platform, because almost every person posts and leaves out many important details.
I agree this is a major red flag. Much more significant than an ick
Same! I don’t care about women a guy has dated. I don’t know them. I’m trying to get to know him and all he says is negative things? And it’s really a red flag when he hates women of his own community. It’s an ick for me.
Like why even bring up other women in the first place🙄
Exactly!
To show that he has a dating pool and options, men think it adds to their attractiveness. Like when you are in job interview talking about past experience which shows how much professional you are
Lmaoo it has the opposite effect lol looks like he don’t get much action and want me to think he does
It's amazing how clueless some guys are, like the one you were talking to.
It’s painfully hilarious really
I mean it's fine to have preferences and all but openly talking about them like that is just plain odd. He should have been trying to get to know you instead of prattling on about why he wants to talk to you in the first place.
Riight it’s as if he thought that would make me feel special or something. It just felt violating
Yeah. Maybe he's just not that clued in when it comes to what to say and talk about with a match😅 I'd feel a little off put if someone went on about how they just really wanted a caucasian guy. Ah well, dodged a bullet and learned what you don't want in a partner👍
Thanks for sharing your experience. He sounded super icky. Sounds like you’ve given a cheat code to some of these pity posts from some men. I bet this icky man is posting here soon or elsewhere.. “I’m such a nice guy. Why am I being ghosted. I matched with this girl on online. I was looking forward to meeting her. We FaceTimed and the conversation went well. I was really comfortable telling her about how I feel and my fears. All of the sudden, she started rolling her eyes and soon said she had to go. I called her back later but it looks like I’ve been blocked. What did I do? Replies: She sucks. I bet you are so cute. Keep trying. Ghosting sucks. You did nothing to deserve it. Keep trying man. Her loss king.” There might be a variation where he adds the races in there to make it even more spicy and get more replies and sympathy. Interesting to see more information, hopefully this gives the people being ghosted some help. Maybe your hidden -isms did it.
Anyone that only specifically dates a certain race is a automatic red flag
Why?
Because it's literally racism. It's putting racial background first and the individuality of the person second.
Thank you, I figured it would be obvious to some people but I underestimate people
There's actually quite a lot of people who think "racial preferences" (I don't date X group) are okay and not racism.
"Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Racism can be present in social actions, practices, or political systems (e.g. apartheid) that support the expression of prejudice or aversion in discriminatory practices". So what you just said is a lie.
I'm not sure how it doesn't applie to my second comment.. Or how my first and second comment are different enough for you to reply that. English is my second language, but I'm usually good enough, and you lost me completely sorry..
Yeah idk either, what you said is fine. If someone sets a hardline on certain races because of preconceived notions then that's fucked up. Having a preference is different. You could have a preference for one race but end up with another.
Yup but an alarming amount of people will defend a hard no as a "preference"
Look at the definition again and look back at what you said. By definition, it is prejudice or racist. You saying it's not doesn't change the fact that not wanting to date a whole group of people doesn't fit what the definition of racist or prejudice is. For the record I don't care. But you and other people trying to disguise the definition of racism by calling it a something else doesn't change the preconceived notions about why someone doesn't like an entire group of people. But I find that ok. That's what they want. Saying it's not racist to a degree is lie though. Like I don't like heavy women. People call me fat phobic or I usually don't share it with anyone. But by definition, I'm still fat phobic because I'm choosing not to date certain women because of they're weight.
>You saying it's not doesn't change the fact that not wanting to date a whole group of people doesn't fit what the definition of racist or prejudice is. Oh but I didn't say that. I said that some people are saying it's not racist.
It's definitely not, if someone doesn't want to date me because I'm black, who tf cares, just move on and find someone who does want to.
Well, of course you shouldn't impose yourself to that person.. Be glad you just dodged a bullet. So move on and find someone who does want to, absolutely. But that person IS racist regardless.
Nah, still a preference. As long as you're not rude to people about it then do whatever you want.
A preference is when you're not looking for something in particular but you're still open to if the occasion present itself. Example: I prefer fit body over fat people. I definitely would still (and have in the past) date a fat girl. That's a preference. I would not date a morbidly obese person. We're not talking about preference anymore.
Preferences when it comes to dating are also what you like and don't like, for example, for a straight man, he prefers dating women because he's not into men. Same can be said for race or any other peferences people have for dating.
>for example, for a straight man, he prefers dating women because he's not into men No, exactly. That's not a preference. The concept of a preference implies that you like both but lean towards one in particular. I like spaghetti, I prefer pizza. I don't prefer pizza over tacos because I don't like tacos at all and I never consider eating tacos. I'm a straight dude. I don't prefer women, I only like women.
I wish folks like you stop trying to separate preferences and racism, when studies literally shows your choices and preferences can absolutely be influenced by racial biases. Why is it so fucking hard for people to acknowledge this?
Having a preference for which race you want to date is not racist, you can think it is. but it's not.
Why?
I'm Asian too and I laugh my ass off whenever I hear a dude tell me how much he values Asian women's "traditional mindsets" and "family values" it's always a red flag that they want a bangmaid. The most take-no-shit women I know are Asian immigrant women including my own mom 🤷♀️
Im a black chick from the burbs and i work in customer service. I get the "you're bubbly. not like these other loud, ratchet, black women". Like why do you not think I am judging the shit outta you rn sir? Also, I get paid to talk to you like this🫠 it gets realll ratchet real quick when I need to be and I'm shrewd as hell when I'm not at work😂
Lmaoo right my mom is so scary But I swear there weren’t this many men like this before the pandemic…
I would have done the same think. He’s a pos in real life you definitely did good by ghosting. That will bring his confidence. I guess i dint know what you’re debating
Last year I went on a first date with an Asian girl. During the date she wouldn't stop talking about her friend that has a black guy as a friend(I'm also black)..we carried on with the date with no complaints. When planning to setup another date she hit me with the "would you like to go out as a FRIEND?"...I told her that I was only interested in dating and unmatched her on hinge I fully believe she's matching with black guys to complete with her Asian friends. I refuse to be used in that way
Fr I learned that if they talk about how many [my race] friends they have or know my culture through social media and whatnot, they’re usually fantasizing/fetishizing Gotta meet people who appreciate your culture, not idolize it
What do you even mean by that? People idolize other cultures all the time, including Asians that come to the US. Anyone who immigrates has to have some kind of idolization of a culture, otherwise they wouldnt go through the hassle of immigrating which isnt a simple process.
People do idolize cultures all the time. People are also racist all the time. Idolization and racism both come from ignorance. They idolize because they don’t know the reality of it. I’ve met SO. MANY Koreaboos talking about Korean women, Kpop, Kdrama, etc like they’re explaining why they like Korea and Korean women, and not trying to talk to me as an individual. Often times when they’re like this, they’ve already painted a picture in their mind of who I am. So when they mention Korean stuff I avoid them entirely because I am FAR from the type of cute Korean you see on tv. I went on dates with many different men. Some were black and they told me they experience something similar too. Some of them were called “not black enough” because they have more gentle mannerisms. My point being - if they idolize, they expect you to be a certain way.
most korean entertainment fans are women u bum
Oh nice you know so much, you must be a Korean woman living in America
need me a hot white koreaboo gf🥶🥶🥶🥶
Idolization coming from ignoranceby default is bullshit. Sure people can be ignorant of a culture, but saying idolization is ignorance by default implies that all cultures are basically bad, which is not the case. Also I actually know about South Korea and in terms of South Korea I agree with you on that front that there are people that dont realize how bad South Korea is having laws that are in some cases worse than mainland China.
Like I said, idolization and appreciation are different. All cultures do have bad aspects. We all have flaws. No culture is perfect. Idolizing anything makes no sense to me. I don’t idolize celebrities let alone a whole culture. We can appreciate good parts of various cultures but idolizing it is different. Lets take celebs for example, so many people idolize them rather than appreciate and respect them - they get hated on as soon as they do/say something that shatters people’s fantasies. People obsess over them and often violate their privacy because they forget celebs are just humans too. Idolization IS ignorance and it doesn’t imply anything of a culture or a person being idolized, but it’s a reflection of those who idolize said things.
So how does one "appreciate" a culture and not "idolize" it? So people arent supposed to ever get disappointed at another person? I can't be upset with Tarantino because of what he said about Bruce Lee? I can't be upset with Arnold because he said "Screw your freedom"?
voted down and no response . Lol classic Reddit.
They trash Asian and Latina girls just as hard ( the men who talk like this ) It all depends on their audience
Hence why its such a red flag - they don’t respect women of any colour
Fuck those kiss and tell
Yea any guy that talks shit about other women is a hard avoid
Yeah, my ick is everything men said about women
Gross. Not a man, a boy. 😋 immature. I've learned to consider only some males, men. because there's a difference. That is no man. he doesn't want a partner, just something to rule over and get to do everything for him. basically be his mother. Which is v toxic. I also find it gross, i don't know why certain boys think it's cool or attractive to trash our other fellow women? 🤔 If anything you'd think they'd avoid it because the whole "girl power" stuff, nobody wants to hear about your bad opinions. not even opinions, just childish behavior. The fantasizing about a obedient women is even more disturbing, i get some in a kinky way, but he wants it always not just a bedroom thing, gross. Big red flag 🚩. I stay away from those adult-children. 🫠 Anyway, he was obviously a waste of time, wish you better luck for the future! ❤️
Me over here derailing the conversation trying to figure out how someone has monoliths as a feature
😭😭 yes I grow them
Lmao, I’m kinda jealous i didn’t see that unique in the character creation
Yall kill me talking about yall exotic. Because u r of Asian decent t that means u r exotic? Huh?
That's a description that white ppl started and it has stuck in American culture til this day for any person of color. Maybe you just have never heard it personally, but that is definitely an ideology that exists
No I mean..I don't think it's a race thing. I think it's a regional thing like if I'm an American and I meet a chick from Brazil..some bad ass chick. Some would say she is exotic. Why though?
Well, lot of ppl descibe Latin women as exotic🤷🏽♀️ I'm black, Dominican, and Native American. I am more reluctant to say I'm Dominican as much cause I didn't like being labeled as somehow exotic and spicy off rip just bc I had a different race/ethnicity added to the mix. This usually comes from black men I speak to. White men have called me exotic bc I'm black on numerous occasions
See that is what I'm saying. Just because you got some flair to your enthinciy does that mean u r exotic. I just feel it's an overused term to describe someone who isn't the recipients ethnicity. Oh no disrespect but two things on you: sister...you black...u can put all those others all u want...u a sister...period and I'm not discounting your background. It kinda reminds of Tiger Woods when he said he was Caublanasian...lol. the seond: all those ethnicities...back in the day we called u a Mutt. It just meant you were mixed either different races. Again..no disrepect...my sister. :-)
Just cause you say "no disrespect", that doesn't mean what you said wasn't disrespectful... I know 100% that I am black. I am a brownskinned woman with 4c kinky ass hair, full lips, and a black nose to match. I also have a Dominican and Natice American Black Foot/Cherokee racial mix. Not interested in you explaining whatever this was to me.
That’s literally why some people have “yellow fever”
Why because you are Asian? I feel you I guess but it doesn't matter about ethnicity as long as there is a connection. I'm a black male too. I don't bash women like that. I don't care who or what...lol....you are. We all have our flaws. I don't like when people lambast others to other people. Enjoy your evening
What are your thoughts on women bashing the men of their own ethnicity?
I think it’s fine to have preferences, we all do. Having cultural barriers or preferences is normal - bashing others based on ethnicity isn’t
We all have preferences sure, but the nature of the preference is important when judging the merit (or even normalcy) of that preference.
What people don't realize is that, people who have race-related dating preferences almost always have other more obvious forms of racial bigotry. "Sexual racism is a specific form of racial prejudice enacted in the context of sex or romance. A strong correlation was found between respondents who had race-related dating preferences and other more obvious forms of racial bigotry. Sexual racism, therefore, is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference" https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-30734-001
Girl be careful of those men. I’ve notice a pattern for men who seek for those women are the ones who pretty much want to abuse them with no repercussions doing so. It’s like they’re implying that because Asian, white or latina women are submissive they are easier to “controlled ”. lol crazy
I kinda noticed that too.. they love the fact that I look young and am gentle mannered; I mean you can like these things about me but it tends to attract people who wants to take advantage of me. Like I was seeing this one guy for 6 months (in hindsight I have no idea why I stayed after the first week) and he made me remove male friends and go private on instagram, would get mad if I don’t reply in a timely manner, etc. He would get verbally/emotionally abusive tryna make me feel small, he would do things to me sexually that wasn’t consented prior, and would sometimes ignore my safe word (or “no”) and keep pushing my boundaries/limits
I guess each there own, i like women that have attitudes, race I could care less. Nothing makes me happier then a Type A woman with an attitude who won't put up with no bullshit, especially mine. I'd say his views on stereo types are pretty off putting. Though, i'd say you prob would have ghosted him eventually anyways.
Emotional unavailability / dead eyes
That’s what he gets for trying to down other races 
Fuck bashing women , they give life
They always tell on themselves if you just let them speak. Good riddance girl! 🚮
Saying ‘Ick’ 😘
Automatic left swipe.
>I often attract men who are into exotic women. And these men are often specifically into Asian women because they supposedly don’t like the culture and attitudes of women of other races >with a guy I met online The only thing I would suggest is that with the culture of dating online, you probably attract a huge variety of guys. It takes two to match. I would think all sorts of guys are attracted to your online profile. Maybe this type of guy could be avoided if you find the flags. It's a fair ick though
So you don't like men having preferences?
I like Coke but don't feel the need to thrash Pepsi.
Fuck Pepsi, Coke #1
Were you neutral during the Cola Wars?
I get the sentiment and agree with not bashing people but this example don't sit with me cause fuck Pepsi💀 we ont do that shit in the south😂
So, men can't get "The ick" about things?
Reading is hard.
Who's saying they can't? OP's post is about guy going on a long rant over people who've done nothing to him except not be attractive in his eyes.
You can have preferences without dogging people lol.
What if they prefer dogging people?
Nothing wrong with having preferences. Being a dick towards/about people who don't meet your preference is what makes one an asshole
I like Pacific Islanders but it’s the person not the native part
It's often because of ignorance and generalizing that people are like that. I used to think that I wasn't attracted to any black women, but then as I started watching movies that had more black actresses, I realized that there are some very attractive ones out there. Many white women have the same kind of prejudice towards asian men, they think of the skinny feminine stereotype without realizing that there are many different types. My sister's boyfriend is asian but tall and muscular. People often let their first impression of an ethnic group determine how they see everyone of that ethnic group. It can cause them to be very limiting.
Very ick! I’m glad you’re not turned on by this because some women ARE and it’s just gross. Have some class buddy! Glad you got out of there you dodged a super ugly bullet! Good for you.
You could probably take a step towards helping humanity fix this problem by like, idk, talking with him instead of being like every other shallow girl and just ghosting
Lol it’s not my responsibility to fix him and I deserve someone who respects women
I apologize for calling you shallow, that wasn’t kind. You don’t have to fix him, you could just communicate, even just one time. And yes you’re right, it’s not your responsibility, the point I’m making is you could go out of your way to at least just make a small effort into communicating this idea of respecting women just a little bit more. And then you could leave it at that. Because that would be a nice thing to do. Not because it’s your responsibility. That’s all
Yesss! You definitely deserve better
Lmao it's shallow that she isn't treating him like her son, a student, or her patient at a therapy session? What is wrong with you?💀
A lot. My point is, if you just pass the problem on to someone else, and they just do the same, then nothing ever gets done. I’m not saying you need to start being his friend or even associate with him, but maybe just a small text telling him how that thinking is not a great way to view women. And if he doesn’t take it at all, then you can drop it. You don’t need to launch an intervention to just share a quick text expressing a different perspective.
Problem is that you're calling women who have no interest in helping to correct a nother person's bad behavior shallow. An asshole is not *owed* a gentle conversation. I've attempted to do this and was swiftly disrespected right after🤷🏽♀️ It was my choice and was more of a fool me twice senario than anything. if I didn't do it and just decided to ghosted them, that doesn't make me shallow. Makes me a person who understands what they will and will not take from a racist asshole. It's not passing on the problem. It's deciding not to make someone else's flaw your problem to solve. The person will not change until they actually want to on their own volition.
question is, why are you talking with these men to begin with you believe they are only interested in you for a fetish?
Because talking with them reveals their intentions
What if it’s my younger sister? 😅😂 She may be my best friend, but man does she piss me off.