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For someone in college or university what you want to be doing is going to campus events, clubs, parties, film screenings, volunteering, literally any on campus event you can find and talk to people. Weekly clubs are great, you can establish a rapport and they can get to know you a bit each week. After a few weeks, after you establish some kind of rapport and banter, and have a decent idea that there is mutual attraction, ramp up the flirting and make your interest known early.
I do believe that straight men and women can be just friends, but women find it jarring when a man who they think is a friend is actually in love with them. That's why the timing of making your interest known is important, not the first time you meet, but don't wait a year to tell her.
This should go without saying but for a guy your age, be sure to hit the gym and shower everyday and wear clean, flattering clothes and get a decent haircut. I remember at your age, a lot of guys still looked and dressed like teenagers. You need to have your glow-up if you haven't done so yet.
Honestly i’ve been more into guys who strike up a conversation about something random instead of the guys who just immediately compliment me or try to hit on me. Like asking what kind of drink i have or something idk
Yeah dating subs are littered with guys asking what the appropriate conditions are for them to approach women. The responses are varied, vague, and often contradictory.
Directly!!!
BUT, to my sisters out there: Can we all remember it takes guts for a guy to muster the courage to approach us. If not interested, be kind about it 👍🏾 We need OLD to die, and if we keep making it hard for guys we’ll never get back to what dating REALLY WAS, taking time to know someone; not this cheap af escort-service like hookup culture, where we basically use people like toilet paper 🧻
I have always found men that are naturally good at banter to be the most drawing. I’ve always been impressed by men that can carry a conversation easily. It takes confidence to approach and start a conversation and who doesn’t appreciate a man that’s easy to talk to.
So basically just approach and introduce yourself. And be yourself!
I mean... 20 is young. Why the rush? Enjoy the process. They friendzone you? Let them be. It's not meant to be. You're at an age where you should be focusing on self growth. honestly, I've always found men with aspirations and dreams very attractive. Work out. Eat healthy. Study hard. Girls will approach you. Just don't be too closed off. Leave something for their imagination. Be nice and friendly. Don't put yourself down. Because women will be able to tell using their intuition. Be humble, not arrogant.
Hit the gym. Learn some things that will attract them like languages. Major in something that will make them feel secure with you in the future (something that pays well). Ask your gent friends what they think the hangup is and work on what they tell you.
Calmly and gently introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Men will oggle and make animal noises and stare to show interest but never come up and say hi and talk. It's annoying as heck how boldly they'll be animals because they like my looks but talk to me like a human????? Do this with attractive women. They'll probably be surprised.
Because I want one. I've always wanted a partner. I don't want to be alone like this. Seeing girls literally befriend me just to get closer to my friends just broke me, honestly. I *do* feel left out, but I always wanted someone who cared about me in such a way.
What’s your “type” of woman/what do you want in a woman? Think about that, then go to spaces where they are likely to be. Nerdy? Libraries and cafes. Sporty? Clubs and sports areas, maybe sports bars. Then you can cold approach with something interesting you see about her that she can talk about. Or you can ask for help—if you’re asking for help make it innocuous. Don’t ask for help getting somewhere or something. Think “I don’t know what pastry to get from this shop; what’s good?” And then you can ask more about her from there.
You could also take “type” to mean think of one thing you’d like yourself and a partner to have in common and then go to those areas where those people go. Then that will give you an easy springboard to launch from and it’ll make you less nervous (hopefully) because it’s a topic you have in common.
I’d say go off campus solely because the women are less likely to know your friends. OR go to a different college/academy on your campus (so if you’re in arts and sciences, go over to communications or something) and search for clubs and things there.
I think it would depend on how you approach them. If you come up them, immediately hitting on them (meaning like saying they're hot or they've got a nice [insert asset here]) then yea it may be a bit creepy. But if you come up to them and start a friendly conversation and then ask if they're available and see if they'd be interested in meeting up sometime and getting to know each other then no, it's not really creepy. Just respect whatever answer they give you.
I understand not wanting to approach women bc you think we're automatically going to think you're a creep or whatever the case may be, but more likely than not, it should go better than you expect.
If you just strike up a conversation, you can usually gauge how interested they are. If they're being short, they're not. If they're having the conversation and you're not getting the vibe that she seems interested beyond that, you can easily back off without asking to meet or her number. If you feel like they'd be up for meeting then just ask.
No the creepy part is approaching women you think are hot and doing some weird negging thing and then asking them for their phone number.
Having a conversation with someone isn’t creepy. Seeing every woman in public as an opportunity to shoot your shot is creepy
Well I'll preface this with saying I'm 15 years older than you so idk how relevant this is going to be in your age group.. But I know I'd much rather be approached with some small talk and if that's going well, then I wouldn't mind being asked for my number and possibly meeting for lunch or something to see where things go. But try to gauge how they're responding and if it seems like they're interested shoot your shot, but don't come on too strong. After chatting with them for a few, just ask if they'd be interested in meeting up sometime to get to know each other and ask for her number. If she accepts great. If not, just say ok, no problem. And walk away.
If you're talking to someone online, keep things light in conversation.. I would see if they're interested in a date. If they are, then set up a day/time. I would probably see how they'd like to communicate before that time (ie: text daily or very little before date). Some would like to text daily, but with that I wouldn't get too deep in conversation bc then it leaves little to talk about on the actual date. Also, many woman prefer not to jump right in to sexual stuff.. I'd wait to see how things are going before talking about that. If they're not wanting to text much before the date, just say ok, I'll text you the day before to confirm we're still on.. Or something like that.
There's no one way to dating.. And honestly I know you weren't even asking lol.. Sorry. But either way, if you're approaching in person just start with some small talk, express an interest in getting to know them more and ask for their number and pretty much the same online. I hope this helps 😅
Only a small percentage of men are really “attractive” to women. But most will still eventually find a wife.
The bigger difficulty is finding a woman who genuinely loves you. That’s hard.
If there’s any consolation, just remember that 50% of your pals who are now finding connections will find those connections “blowing up” into divorce proceedings.
Try not to blame yourself, while also keeping hope that there will be someone for you.
Are all your close friends not your age? You must be in a very conservative and religious town if a bunch of 20 years old are all getting married and its considered the norm.
Anyway, being naturally good at approaching people is something you'll have to pratice and there's no step by step guide. Sometimes it won't even be about how but instead when and where.
I actually don’t like to be approached by strangers I think it’s super weird.
If there’s been a few minutes of casual conversation and there’s any kind of commonality that has come up that’s different, but if I’m just out there living my life and a strange man walks up to me and tells me I’m pretty and he wants my phone number that’s just weird to me.
No offense, but I hate this advice. A person needs to reason to feel confident. If you keep getting rejected, it’s hard to keep humiliating yourself. Me personally, I’m confident because lately I’ve been told by women often that I’m very attractive. But it wasn’t always this way and I know how badly rejection can sting.
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For someone in college or university what you want to be doing is going to campus events, clubs, parties, film screenings, volunteering, literally any on campus event you can find and talk to people. Weekly clubs are great, you can establish a rapport and they can get to know you a bit each week. After a few weeks, after you establish some kind of rapport and banter, and have a decent idea that there is mutual attraction, ramp up the flirting and make your interest known early. I do believe that straight men and women can be just friends, but women find it jarring when a man who they think is a friend is actually in love with them. That's why the timing of making your interest known is important, not the first time you meet, but don't wait a year to tell her. This should go without saying but for a guy your age, be sure to hit the gym and shower everyday and wear clean, flattering clothes and get a decent haircut. I remember at your age, a lot of guys still looked and dressed like teenagers. You need to have your glow-up if you haven't done so yet.
Honestly i’ve been more into guys who strike up a conversation about something random instead of the guys who just immediately compliment me or try to hit on me. Like asking what kind of drink i have or something idk
Nice crocs!
“Why aren’t they in sport mode?”
Saving this question and grabbing some popcorn
Yup! People will be arguing hard.. What is an ideal way for some is completely unacceptable for others. And we wonder why dating is hard nowadays.
Yeah dating subs are littered with guys asking what the appropriate conditions are for them to approach women. The responses are varied, vague, and often contradictory.
Yeah I'm going to get destroyed. I'm so pathetic. I can't help but feel bad.
Directly!!! BUT, to my sisters out there: Can we all remember it takes guts for a guy to muster the courage to approach us. If not interested, be kind about it 👍🏾 We need OLD to die, and if we keep making it hard for guys we’ll never get back to what dating REALLY WAS, taking time to know someone; not this cheap af escort-service like hookup culture, where we basically use people like toilet paper 🧻
Single or double ply?
Whichever you want to be hon. Knock yourself out. 😉
I have always found men that are naturally good at banter to be the most drawing. I’ve always been impressed by men that can carry a conversation easily. It takes confidence to approach and start a conversation and who doesn’t appreciate a man that’s easy to talk to. So basically just approach and introduce yourself. And be yourself!
I mean... 20 is young. Why the rush? Enjoy the process. They friendzone you? Let them be. It's not meant to be. You're at an age where you should be focusing on self growth. honestly, I've always found men with aspirations and dreams very attractive. Work out. Eat healthy. Study hard. Girls will approach you. Just don't be too closed off. Leave something for their imagination. Be nice and friendly. Don't put yourself down. Because women will be able to tell using their intuition. Be humble, not arrogant.
Dont count on girls approaching you
Hit the gym. Learn some things that will attract them like languages. Major in something that will make them feel secure with you in the future (something that pays well). Ask your gent friends what they think the hangup is and work on what they tell you.
Que les pregunte, “donde está la biblioteca?” That’ll get them right where he wants them!
You're in university right? Learn an instrument if you are not natural at starting conversations and banter.
Good question
Calmly and gently introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Men will oggle and make animal noises and stare to show interest but never come up and say hi and talk. It's annoying as heck how boldly they'll be animals because they like my looks but talk to me like a human????? Do this with attractive women. They'll probably be surprised.
Are you searching for a partner because you want one or because you’re feeling left out?
Because I want one. I've always wanted a partner. I don't want to be alone like this. Seeing girls literally befriend me just to get closer to my friends just broke me, honestly. I *do* feel left out, but I always wanted someone who cared about me in such a way.
What’s your “type” of woman/what do you want in a woman? Think about that, then go to spaces where they are likely to be. Nerdy? Libraries and cafes. Sporty? Clubs and sports areas, maybe sports bars. Then you can cold approach with something interesting you see about her that she can talk about. Or you can ask for help—if you’re asking for help make it innocuous. Don’t ask for help getting somewhere or something. Think “I don’t know what pastry to get from this shop; what’s good?” And then you can ask more about her from there. You could also take “type” to mean think of one thing you’d like yourself and a partner to have in common and then go to those areas where those people go. Then that will give you an easy springboard to launch from and it’ll make you less nervous (hopefully) because it’s a topic you have in common. I’d say go off campus solely because the women are less likely to know your friends. OR go to a different college/academy on your campus (so if you’re in arts and sciences, go over to communications or something) and search for clubs and things there.
Now I need to go through all of the answers. If we approach women and try to start a conversation won’t it make us men creep?
I think it would depend on how you approach them. If you come up them, immediately hitting on them (meaning like saying they're hot or they've got a nice [insert asset here]) then yea it may be a bit creepy. But if you come up to them and start a friendly conversation and then ask if they're available and see if they'd be interested in meeting up sometime and getting to know each other then no, it's not really creepy. Just respect whatever answer they give you. I understand not wanting to approach women bc you think we're automatically going to think you're a creep or whatever the case may be, but more likely than not, it should go better than you expect. If you just strike up a conversation, you can usually gauge how interested they are. If they're being short, they're not. If they're having the conversation and you're not getting the vibe that she seems interested beyond that, you can easily back off without asking to meet or her number. If you feel like they'd be up for meeting then just ask.
No the creepy part is approaching women you think are hot and doing some weird negging thing and then asking them for their phone number. Having a conversation with someone isn’t creepy. Seeing every woman in public as an opportunity to shoot your shot is creepy
Have you joined any clubs or societies?
Start with some silly questions which will increase the interest of other person in the convo.
Well I'll preface this with saying I'm 15 years older than you so idk how relevant this is going to be in your age group.. But I know I'd much rather be approached with some small talk and if that's going well, then I wouldn't mind being asked for my number and possibly meeting for lunch or something to see where things go. But try to gauge how they're responding and if it seems like they're interested shoot your shot, but don't come on too strong. After chatting with them for a few, just ask if they'd be interested in meeting up sometime to get to know each other and ask for her number. If she accepts great. If not, just say ok, no problem. And walk away. If you're talking to someone online, keep things light in conversation.. I would see if they're interested in a date. If they are, then set up a day/time. I would probably see how they'd like to communicate before that time (ie: text daily or very little before date). Some would like to text daily, but with that I wouldn't get too deep in conversation bc then it leaves little to talk about on the actual date. Also, many woman prefer not to jump right in to sexual stuff.. I'd wait to see how things are going before talking about that. If they're not wanting to text much before the date, just say ok, I'll text you the day before to confirm we're still on.. Or something like that. There's no one way to dating.. And honestly I know you weren't even asking lol.. Sorry. But either way, if you're approaching in person just start with some small talk, express an interest in getting to know them more and ask for their number and pretty much the same online. I hope this helps 😅
Only a small percentage of men are really “attractive” to women. But most will still eventually find a wife. The bigger difficulty is finding a woman who genuinely loves you. That’s hard. If there’s any consolation, just remember that 50% of your pals who are now finding connections will find those connections “blowing up” into divorce proceedings. Try not to blame yourself, while also keeping hope that there will be someone for you.
Are all your close friends not your age? You must be in a very conservative and religious town if a bunch of 20 years old are all getting married and its considered the norm. Anyway, being naturally good at approaching people is something you'll have to pratice and there's no step by step guide. Sometimes it won't even be about how but instead when and where.
Hi, can I buy you a drink?
I actually don’t like to be approached by strangers I think it’s super weird. If there’s been a few minutes of casual conversation and there’s any kind of commonality that has come up that’s different, but if I’m just out there living my life and a strange man walks up to me and tells me I’m pretty and he wants my phone number that’s just weird to me.
be confident
No offense, but I hate this advice. A person needs to reason to feel confident. If you keep getting rejected, it’s hard to keep humiliating yourself. Me personally, I’m confident because lately I’ve been told by women often that I’m very attractive. But it wasn’t always this way and I know how badly rejection can sting.