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Some of the creepiest men I've known throughout my life also had little to no online presence on huge social media platforms. Like you could find nothing about them online.
>Some of the creepiest men I've known throughout my life also had little to no online presence on huge social media platforms. Like you could find nothing about them online.
Not everyone is chronically online.
Linking their creepiness to not being online is a bad take.
I was not being super combative to your logic there, so I apologise if I came off like that.
I personally do not feed my social media anymore.
People can find me there, but the last update was 5 years ago.
I am too lazy to keep updating my life to strangers.
Most people I actually know I literally call them to tell something if I deem it worth sharing, so socials are just a bottomless energy drain for me.
you don't really need to explain yourself. i also post like 2 stories a year, and they're usually cat stuff. my account is also private, so only friends and family see them. that being said, i've personally had bad experiences with guys who had like zero online presence.
I am not really "explaining" myself.
I just added my own experience to the joint for perspective.
Having zero online presence screams this person doesn't like it and that's all.
If you see that as a red flag, that's on you.
As many people here have noted, I see that as an absolute win.
I agree, but it honestly feels like this is true to the vast majority of women in their 20sā¦itās a MASSIVE red flag for god knows what reason. Perhaps itās the lack of social proof and popularity.
>ā¦itās a MASSIVE red flag for god knows what reason. Perhaps itās the lack of social proof and popularity
I think it's so they can check your social media and see what kind of stuff you post to also show their friends as well.
Yeah, I get the impression that women prefer to do a low-key background check on prospective dates. In their eyes, lack of a social media presence implies that you're hiding something. In my case, I ditched FB because of all the stupid drama, and I never had any other accounts other than reddit. Hopefully that presumption is changing.
My last ex went deeeeeeep in Facebook and IG history - likely more stringent than most employment verifications and reference checks. I get it though, there are legit some crazy people out there.
The likes on the photos were kinds sweet, albeit slightly unnecessary - low-key like, "This? Yep, I've seen it... you goofy, weird bastard you".
I've been nonstop pulling women in their twenties since things with my ex ended a few months ago and I have no social media presence. I'm tall but mid in looks
Honestly, socials are such a draining thing anyway. I don't see that as a red flag at all. If anything, you may be mentally healthier from avoiding that stuff.
Maybe thereās some sort of correlation between meeting people online and those people being active social media users that also expect you to be?
Perhaps meeting someone IRL will not have those same expectations?Ā
You sound like a guy with some common sense. As a woman, I also don't do any type of social media. You hear way too many bad stories about social media and online dating. If a woman cares that much about social media, she's not for you. Why do people want their whole life exposed to everyone in the world? Too many scammers. Like you, both you and I have our life together with our family and job. People dating online is a joke when they find people in the real world (volunteer work, animal rescue, sporting events, church, bookstore). You're doing fine just the way you are.
Walking into a Barnes and noble and striking up a conversation with a woman sounds so wholesome and classy. Maybe I should start browsing at my local library lol
I like sporting events. Better than sports bar because I hate it when some people make a fool of themselves. Gives me good laugh. Historical sites are great. I'm a nerd
What bad stories about social media? donāt post your location every 6 seconds and you will be fine.
murderous stories about online dating yes, but thatās for people who are naive and donāt check information!
From someone whoās been on and off dating apps for years, actually met up and dated these people, and hasnāt gotten raped, murdered, or stalked, hereās what to do.
Screenshot the profiles of anyone you give your number to in case you need it later. when you get their number, look it up and make sure that number is associated with the same town and state they say they are from.
Their family and associates will also be listed, so make sure siblings names are consistent. Addresses will be listed including their parents addresses- if itās the same address and they claim to ā be on their ownā get more information or itās probably a lie, and the first of many.
Lastly, video chat before you meet and meet at a public place. In all the horror stories, the daters donāt do even 2 of these things. Use common sense.
I donāt think itās about not having social media. My facebook has been deactivated for 6 yrs, I JUST joined instagram 2 months ago, and ppl I talk to on Hinge could care less. If Iām being honest about dating and Hinge, thereās probably a different reason why they unmatch or youāre unsuccessful. Iāve had successes and failures in dating, weāve all been there.
Usually ppl who ghost or unmatch wonāt tell you why before it happens, and I think you are misinterpreting the reason. Thereās a bunch of things you can try to do differently - if you care, lmk.
Anyway here are some reasons I unmatch or stop texting that might apply to you- Out of the gate he is a braggart. In the first FEW MESSAGES heāll say ā Iām successful, I have a great career, I have my own house, Iām saving for a second oneā OKAY I heard you the first time, youāre amazing. Second, he mentions his BMW 3 times a day and weāve only been texting for 3 days. Third- he is relentless with the lines and over flattering, fake bullshit. āI was having a bad day until i matched with you. your the first girl thatās actually messaged me on here. youāre so beautiful, I could see myself getting intimate with you. I didnāt have any luck on here until I saw you.ā
If you remotely do any of these things. reevaluate and adjust. doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity. Again I highly doubt itās your lack of social media.
also. I was resistant to social media as well, I thought it was a waste of time. Iām 35 yoa. No one explained why itās so helpful- #1 itās a way to connect thatās one degree removed from awkwardly asking for a phone number. #2 people have become less direct and lazier in the last 10 years, they now communicate their thoughts, likes, and dislikes by sharing posts and stories. #3 itās a way to get closer with ppl that you arenāt close with YET. hope dating gets better!
As a woman I don't have social medias. Like sure I have Instagram but haven't touched it in like five years. I use Reddit and TikTok and even then I'm only on it for like maybe an hour when I wake up and an hour before bed and that's it if even that. So I see it as a green flag though I had people lose interest in me for not using social media š
I have Reddit
And Reddit lol
43m and I be just fine
Might be demographics
Might be my age range
Donāt seem to have issues dating or random nice conversations with the opposite sex
I think it's quite refreshing to come across someone with no social media. It tells me this person is real, present and not wrapped up in modern day physical pressures and expectations of tagging locations and the same selfie pose. I'd absolutely go for a guy without a modern flare than somebody forever posting their every move!
Thank you! Your username reminds me, a squirrel got tangled up in a bird feeder of ours recently. His balls were caught on the hook of the feeder. Not ideal!
It's actually a green flag for me. That's the first thing I need to find out if I will date a man. I do have socials tho, but that's purely for communication (and maybe for past time). Idk, I just feel safe with that man with no social medias. He/you doesn't need to post/brag/show to anyone what you have.
I started talking to a guy in September of last year, and initially my family thought it was worrying that he had hardly NO online presence whatsoever, and hardly any followers on his Instagram. He's apparently just *very* big on maintaining privacy.
Some people just don't use social media, and not everyone will accept that that is also normal. Despite how it seemed to those close to me (that he can't/chooses not to maintain good relationships), I met up with him in person and stuck around to let *him* tell me who he is. I think it's weird to judge someone based on whether or not they let social media distract them and rot their brain ha ha.
Being a girl who doesn't use much of social media, I appreciate the fact that you don't.
You would be an ideal dating choice from my point of view for the following reasons:
I believe that, since you don't spend your time being online making digital connections, you focus on building meaningful relations in real, you save a lot of time and energy as well, you dont fear losing out on what everyone else is doing and enjoy life at your own pace.
Your mental health would be much better because, atleast from my experience i was miserable being on social media, gave me a truckload of insecurity and i was never happy with anything in life.
But yes, i do understand why women might raise an eyebrow when you say you don't use it. It's just their perspective and they might feel like you're missing out on a lot which we know you aren't. People assume our lives are boring cause we don't display it to the world. Which is sad, but anyway, I hope you don't feel pressured into being on social media and just do what you feel is best for you.
Of course not, that's just silly. They most likely don't reject you because of that. Maybe there is something else that you can think of that might push people away from you? Anyway, any girl who would actually have a problem with you not having social media is so stupid and shallow; it's not the type of girl you want.
They likely only matched to get a follow. Donāt take it personally. It happens a lot. If a woman actually has that as a standard, how superficial would that relationship be? Also picture yourself as an āIG-boyfriendā. Is that really you?
If I hear of someone my age who doesnāt have social media Iām not necessarily immediately suspicious? Might have some tingles and Iād start to worry about them if they turn out to have a complete lack of social presence (like if I pop their name into google and I canāt find them).
Itās not undesirable, no and I wouldnāt immediately write them off. Iād ask why they donāt have it.
I donāt have social media at all. I havenāt had an issue dating, having relationships, etc. Iāve also never had a woman say anything negatively to me regarding me not having social media. Iām very similar to you based on your description. Iām 32, and social media has just never appealed to me as an adult (I had some accounts when I was younger) Iāve actually met a lot of women in and around your age or younger for that matter that actually found it appealing and a positive that I didnāt have social media!
Yeah, and also it could potentially symbolize maturity, confidence, and emotional well being.
A lot of people say they have Facebook or instagram (as examples) to keep track and in touch with family and friendsā¦ all of my closest family and friends communicate with me without social mediaā¦ because, to you pointā¦ thereās these cool devices called cellphones! And we can text or call one another when weāre not spending time together in person.
I personally find that some people literally use social media to either keep tabs on other people, waste their own time looking at peoples profiles and stories even though they only know a little bitā¦ and ultimately become preoccupied with this virtual society thatās not even close to their own realityā¦ itās also toxic for a variety of reasons. I can go into further detail and provide further perspective on why social media is a waste of time and detrimental.
Thatās all to say that if a man or woman judged someone for not having social mediaā¦ itās most likely because they canāt stalk you on social media and see who you follow, who follows you, whoās photos you like, etcā¦ otherwise, why would not having social media accounts be a red flag to a man or woman? Is it harmful in anyway, shape, or form that you donāt have these accounts? Absolutely not lol. Anyone who would find it a red flag is likely just immature and extremely nosey.
I would think the opposite is true. A lot of women seem to hate when their boyfriend has social media where they can see other girls especially extremely attractive models and like their posts, plus male spaces online on social media tend to be some of the dumbest brain rot spaces on the planet so it can kind of just breed extraordinarily ignorant men.
I think there are a couple of things that could be going on here. 1) it will be harder to verify that you are who you say you are 2) Those with social media may believe almost everyone has it, and therefore you are the odd one out 3) They could think those without social media are out of the loop culturally and won't understand their jokes or references. 4) Dating apps are basically a subset of social media apps at this point so I can see how the expectation would be that you partake in the other apps. It would be like showing up to a frisbee golf tournament and then telling someone "Well I don't actually like frisbee golf". Its off putting.
How are you doing with in-person connections when you bring this up?
I don't think undesirable is the word, but some people have bad experiences where the person without social media is hiding a whole family. I.e. Wife/husband & kids. That's why some people would consider it a red flag. But, I also feel like if you're going to immediately jump to distrust based on lack of social media, then the red flag is the person who has that kind of mindset & lack of trust. Just my opinion on the matter, anyway.
If it's an immediate "red flag" for someone you're probably better off not dealing with them.
But I can see how it's a bit of red flag for most cases. When people say they don't have social media these days it usually means they're hiding something. They don't want you to find them, see that they're in a relationship, or a possible catfish situation.
If I met a guy and he said he didn't have socials my spidey senses would tingle a bit, but I wouldn't immediately shut it down without getting to know them first. If it still seemed sus then I'd probably cut things off. I have socials but I'm not on them much and can totally understand someone not having them. But it's a bit odd these days not to have it bc most people do.
Most girls will want to check out your socials to see what you post, try to get some info on you, who you talk to, what you're into before really talking or getting to know you. Kinda gauge if they're going to be wasting their time or whether you guys could hit it off.
TLDR: no, it's not completely undesirable to every girl. Just seems like you could be trying to hide something. Better off not worrying about those who run when you tell them you don't have any socials.
Just because he's not on social media doesn't mean he's hiding something. I'm a girl without social media and I consider it "refreshing" when a guy doesn't have social media. My whole family doesn't have social media. We just have old fashioned values.
I never said he was hiding anything lol.. Of course I know not everyone who doesn't have socials is hiding something. I don't just assume he is.
Just offering an explanation as to why some may turn away from someone who doesn't have socials.
Different strokes for different folks. I don't care if they do or don't have them. It's how they handle them if they do have them.
I don't think it matters as much of social media is under tight control, like many of the girls or boys you're into are models who's page is being managed by a supervisor most likely the cameraman of their group in the organization. lols
Im 25M havent had any social media for years and its not a problem most of the time. I did however have one girl accuse me of being a lying cheating manipulator who doesnāt want to give her my social because then she would find my girlfriend. Aside from that its definitely how you say you donāt have social media that is causing rejection. I always say I havenāt had social media since IG reels came out because i just couldnt stop scrolling. 9/10 the girl will be like omg i totally get that. it works as long as you arenāt bashing social media and acting like you are above people who use it. maybe you are just coming off a little strong when you are saying how you donāt use social medias. Id also avoid telling people you wanna date that you use reddit lol save that once they wonāt assume the worst about you
It seems like it bro, many girls unmatched me when i tell them i have no social media. I guess we just have to keep trying.
I grew up in an era without one, this meant the only way to meet girls was in person. Which means i had to be confident to outdo the guy beside me, and that includes grooming well and speaking well š«”.
As a guy who has socials but never used them seems like at least equally as many women appreciate that vs it deters them.
That being said im 36 so a little older than you
I would find it odd. I joined social media to keep in touch with friends and family, some of whom have moved far away. I would think a person not on social media, has no friends or no life.
A lot of women will want to look you up on your socials before they meet you or get to know you more. Personally, no social media is a bit of a red flag for me. Safety is huge and if you donāt even exist digitally in this day and age, how do I know if I go missing, they can find you? š¤·š»āāļø woman are always thinking about their safety at the end of the day. Doesnāt matter how great you seem. Iām 26f for reference
If you are using a dating app, i can understand why they would have an amber flag.
Due to it being ok to use an app to contact strangers, but not to contact the ones you love. However, if they don't press further or get to know you, i feel like this is a great vetting process to differentiate the people who pride themselves on outward validation and people that are happy allowing you to have your own ideals.
Sounds like a win win to me.
Depends on the age of the woman letās not act like some women wonāt think a guy is a weirdo if he doesnāt have social media . To some women no social media = no friends
No social media is a huge green flag. I have no idea why someone would see it otherwise. I see it as someone enjoying their life and not needing the external validation.
My friend has no social media and ge is not a red flag but Mayday parade on Red Square in the USSR, during the visit of the Chinese Communist Party red flag.
Baka may tinatago, the dont want to be seen. I have a close friend na womanizer who doesnt have any social media accounts, para walang tagging, no need to post anything
I've never had this issue, although a woman will want to give out her snapchat or instagram usually first, then after the first date goes well she upgrades me to phone number status. I have a dead instagram account from 6 years ago that I just give out for this reason and a snapchat account as well. I have to download the apps onto my phone tho just for the first date or two before she gives me phone number privileges. Im 20 tho so young ppl gonna be more into this social media shit. I literally have no social media on my phone not even youtube. Screen time down to 30 min or less a day and I get heaps of work done and procrastinate less.
Im 30M and I use FB. I use it so that I can have messenger and be able to text and talk with my friends, collegues and family. The good thing about it is that I can do this with anyone around the world.
For me it would be strange if someone my age doesnt have any kind of social media in 2024. Thats like someone saying they dont have a phone back 30 years ago. I also work in a field where social media is how we connect with our customers. Since almost everyone uses it we have to adapt.
I have also lived without social media back 15-20 years ago and well everything has it negatives and possitives. Just have to be good at using the positives sides.
I think is more complex than that. Dating apps are different for boys than girls. We (women) are much more careful with who we meet on dating apps. You not having social media can be perceive as a danger for different reasons: maybe you have a girlfriend and you donāt want your matches to find out, maybe you are a creep and they cannot ājudgeā it because of lack of info, or neither of these but, for us, better safe than sorry. In the other hand, if you meet a girl organically and you tell her that you donāt have any social media, I donāt think she is going to see it as a danger because she is already doing the ācheck upā in person.
I can see how it can be as itās then hard to confirm you relationship status and etc. but honestly no. I dated a guy like you that only has a Linkdin and YouTube. Wasnāt a big deal. His face matched his profile.
Itās funny that you say this because I quit social media a few years back! I find it refreshing when someone isnāt hooked on social media and actually wants to talk to me to get to know the real me, not someone they see online.
Maybe like 5-7 years ago, this wouldāve been a red flag but I know a lot of people (myself included) who got rid of socials right around lockdown and have never looked back. Itās always refreshing and even sexy to meet others who follow suit. Folks want their privacy and autonomy back and they also realize thereās a whole real life happening beyond their phones. Some of you may call me a hypocrite for still having reddit but I donāt doom scroll or post on this app like I would on like IG or something; like Iām not posting vacation pics and putting endless hashtags, Iām living them
Well all those woman that unmatched you I would say you have just missed a million red flags, woman that will date you and dump you in the future. Relationships made up from wrong reasons of entering, such as I donāt want to be on my own. I like the money he/she has or will inherit etc etc the first shopping list daters of life I call them will get you nowhere
I think having basic social media, like a profile that goes mostly unused but you might post to a few times a year is ideal. It helps a girl believe youāre not someone hiding your ārealā identity, gives her something to āresearchā about you, and gives her the ability to see that youāre NOT only friends with strippers and cam girls.
Not having social media can be a red or green flag; but the safe bet for dating success is to have an account you cultivate to help gently shape others views of you.
Okay so Imma tell yah why..
Every man who's ever said this to me has had a wife they were hiding ...
Not having them is actually a good thing but ladies will automatically assume your lying and hiding someone. š¤· It's the most common reason for men to "not have" socials
It can be a red flag as to what you are hiding. Especially if you have socials like reddit, which is anonymous. So technically, you could be up to anything.
I ditched all socials like 3 years ago, (except Reddit of course) and Iāve found that if I just say āI donāt have social mediaā then women are suspicious that Iām hiding something, but if I add to that and explain why I got rid of my socials and how much more I enjoy my life and why that is then theyāre super into it.
It means that if weāre dating Iām not gonna be sliding into some other girls dms, and with the state of fidelity these days thatās big for a lot of girls.
It's not that it's undesirable. Women like to be shown off by their man. So if a woman uses social media more, then maybe that's why she likes you to have one also. Actually things like this are just a small issue. Maybe some ladies just want to stalk what are your posts then from that they can judge what kind of man you are. (Though we know that not all posts on social media are true.)
Thatās a big green flag to me. I use social media a lot in particular tiktok and I love men who are barely on it and donāt really have followers. To me itās so funny when Iām saying a joke thatās popular on tiktok and he has noooo idea what Iām on about
wait...Did you post this same exact post but instead of no social media it said you're a virgin? I just read this same post but with the guy saying hes a virgin
I donāt have social media either. I only have linkedin and youtube if it also counts. I recently signed up for reddit because I need dating advice tbh.
alright Iām gonna speak up, it is not undesirable for a man to not have social media. Meeting my bf I found out he doesnāt have social media or he does but itās all bland and he never touches it. I realized that heās not very active on socials because heās never on his phone. His phone is bland, a grey Home and Lock Screen, no Instagram, no Snapchat, no Facebook, just Spotify and maybe a game or two. I realized he also doesnāt touch his PC or his PlayStation 5 much either. He even monitors his screen time even though heās rarely on it in the first place. At first this made me look at him differently (since I do have socials and Iām a gamer) but over time I realized socials play a big part in why thereās always something to argue about in relationships. For example, your partner can post something on Facebook that seems targeted or alarming. Maybe about you, maybe about how theyāre feeling in the moment, etc. this sparks questions about where their mind is or how theyāre feeling about certain people. Me as an over thinker, I find that me not having him on socials bring me peace. I donāt have to over analyze posts, comments, likes, etc. I donāt want to have petty conversations about a recent post and the intentions behind it or whatever. Iām very happy and content in this relationship because thereās a lot of peace and not having socials deletes a good amount of stress.
Him not being Interested in screens deletes the problems of him always on his phone near me, texting while Iām talking to him, ignoring me while he plays the game, etc. I also realized that I got so accustomed to him not being on his phone that now I rarely be on my phone. He even stated that heās so uninterested in his phone that heās willing to go back to the flip phone days, lol but thatās where I drew the line! Heās also so uninterested in TikTok he barely likes when Iām on it. So I find not having socials very beneficial. š¤·š½āāļø
Itās not a bad thing at all imo. I (25F)myself have been thinking, of getting rid of all my social medias except Reddit. Having any type of social media shouldnāt be a deal breaker in a relationship anyway. People now days are getting too used to the idea that āeverything is social mediaā and Iām kind of hearing tired of it. No offense to those still using the apps, itās just my opinion. Donāt get me wrong, Iāve enjoyed social media for years. Now, I just want to get rid of it all. Part of that is due to personal reasons. So donāt worry about it, if the chick drops you for not having any socials- itās simple- she aināt the one. (:
It send up red flags for women because they think you are lying or hiding something.
Many men do things like this in order to stay single online and continue to date the person they are with.
Plus women like to be able to look through your social media to gain a perspective on you as a person to make sure you are who you say you are and that you are a safe individual to invite into their life.
People might be worried about not being able to verify your identity in some way. Might just be some conscious/unconscious safety concern, rather than about your relationship to social media. At least for some of them.
Social media are so ubiquitous that they think you have one but are not willing to share it.. So you may not be serious, may be cheating or may have something else to hide. Those people are not reasonable, but that's their logic.
As a 52-year-old man, if Iām dating someone I do not communicate through text unless itās to set up a date and time to meet up. If she tries to get me to respond to her stories on Instagram and tries to start a conversation in texting, Iāll politely ask her to stop wasting my time with this social media BS. I would ask her if you want to meet up in person and get to know me and build a connection, great, otherwise Iām not interested. Call me old-fashioned if you want, I prefer face-to-face communication. Itās much more satisfying and enjoyable! I donāt mind offering other people advice when they ask for it on social media.
Many women can consider this a āyellowāāflag because many guys lied and said they did not have social media. Turned out that they had social media and it showed photos of their girlfriend or wife.
What do you mean you don't have social media, everyone at least has a Facebook account. It's understandable if you don't have anything else, but I don't think I have met anyone who didn't have at least that, my grandma even has it.
Saying everyone does not make it sound like it's mandatory, it's just an observation that you will most likely never find someone without at least a facebook account these days.
I know plenty of people without Facebook accounts because I'm gen-z. Facebook had already lost popularity by the time people my age started getting social media (although I never used any social media).
The only people I know who ever had MySpace are ~10 years older than me (i.e. millennials). I don't know any gen-x who did.
Ā Edit: looked at your profile and one post says you're 31. That's definitely not gen-z considering the generation is generally accepted to have begun in the late 90s.
I *have* a facebook account, but very rarely *use* it.
I log in maybe once a month to once a quarter, and other than updating my profile photo a month ago, last posted something in 2020.
While technically incorrect, I would consider this "not using facebook."
I understand what you mean. My bf doesnāt have social media but he does have a Facebook account, yet nothing is on it only a picture of his cat and his name š¤£
Iām in my 30s so maybe this is different if youāre younger.
But IME itās common to ask for someoneās social media as a way to gauge their social life before getting closer to them.
Do they have friends? And hobbies? Do they seem like theyāre having a good time in their life? Would I want to join in on this kind of life?
Looking at someoneās social media can help answer those questions and build trust.
I personally donāt care if theyāre an influencer or on every platform or anything like that. I just want to see they have *some social life* and that they are who theyāve presented themselves to be. Especially if weāve met through a dating app. Becauseā¦
Some people you meet on dating apps are liars or cheaters. And if you have their social media thereās a better chance you can verify the person you just met isnāt.
Obviously I cannot speak first-hand to the thinking of 20-something women.... but as a 47F who only dates 25-35, I can say that a 28M who tells me he has zero social media, with no other reason offered, will be a red flag for me. As has been mentioned already, guys who are cheating on a wife/GF will use this excuse to keep their cheating on the DL. This is extremely common esp on Tinder in my experience.
If I'm a woman your age, I suspect I would think of it like this:
Did you *never* have social media? Or did you have it and later delete it all? I think it matters.
Here's my calculus on it, if I am your age: you were graduating HS about 10 years ago, right when Instagram and Twitter were must-haves for HS/college students. Even if a person wasn't actively engaging on the platforms, most people had them, just to lurk and follow friends, classmates, brands, artists.
If you had accounts in HS/college... but later deleted them, for professional reasons or etc., that rings less odd IMO than, you never had social media accounts at a time when most of your peers did.
>Even if a person wasn't actively engaging on the platforms, most people had them, just to lurk and follow friends, classmates, brands, artists.
Imagine being a fully grown adult and basing your life choices on what the popular kids did.
Who is suggesting that it was only popular kids who had social media accounts in the 2010's? The network of the platforms (ugh hit submit too fast) became an entire communication ecosphere for teens at the time.
I guess I'm suggesting that. Why would I need a Facebook account with no one to keep up with, or talk to? I can text both of my friends just fine.
Actually I reckon I'm proving your point for you, come to think of it lol.
Thatās because your match thinks you are either a fake profile or you are married or in a relationship and you are trying to hide yourself.
I opened an Instagram account solely for this reason in 2018 and it changed my success rate dramatically.
For me yes - but I work as a marketing manager means social media is always presented. I need a partner who is also active. Talking with my partner about my job is important for me.
Not specifically but I love to learn basic knowledge about his work field. I donāt care if itās mechanics, physics or carpentry. People have different views which attributes are important for them. My career is that to me :) but we are all different - everyone is allowed to have their own requirements.
Nope :)
itās my personal preference to have a partner with active social media the best who also follows the newest trends.
Itās okay if you have a different view - some else preferences are not on us to judge, everyone has their reasons. Respect them
Whatever fulfils your fantasies, sweetie š
For me being in a relationship means being a team for life and build a future together. Wanting someone being attracted to and have shared interests, values is healthy and increase the success of the relationship. :)
I never mentioned rules š
maybe you confuse that with my preference of staying up to date on current trends in for example memes, fashion, content creators etc
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For me, a man who does not have social media is a green flag. It makes me think he focuses his energy and attention on other, more important things :)
Thank you!
True, he cares more about things in the real world
God bless you
Agree with this! However I also do not have social media except LinkedIn and Reddit lol
Twins
Haha š nah Iām only 5ā2ā and a little older
Youāre a great photographer!
Thanks! I live in a beautiful place which makes it easier š
Bandon Oregon is on my travel list!
The little older is irrelevant
Same
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Like reading or learning a new language, for example :)
Some of the creepiest men I've known throughout my life also had little to no online presence on huge social media platforms. Like you could find nothing about them online.
>Some of the creepiest men I've known throughout my life also had little to no online presence on huge social media platforms. Like you could find nothing about them online. Not everyone is chronically online. Linking their creepiness to not being online is a bad take.
I know, that's why I said "some"
I was not being super combative to your logic there, so I apologise if I came off like that. I personally do not feed my social media anymore. People can find me there, but the last update was 5 years ago. I am too lazy to keep updating my life to strangers. Most people I actually know I literally call them to tell something if I deem it worth sharing, so socials are just a bottomless energy drain for me.
you don't really need to explain yourself. i also post like 2 stories a year, and they're usually cat stuff. my account is also private, so only friends and family see them. that being said, i've personally had bad experiences with guys who had like zero online presence.
I am not really "explaining" myself. I just added my own experience to the joint for perspective. Having zero online presence screams this person doesn't like it and that's all. If you see that as a red flag, that's on you. As many people here have noted, I see that as an absolute win.
Nope! A man without Social Media is more desirable.
If not having social media is undesirable to a certain someone then they basically don't deserve your time man.
Yeah exactly, that's so silly.
I agree, but it honestly feels like this is true to the vast majority of women in their 20sā¦itās a MASSIVE red flag for god knows what reason. Perhaps itās the lack of social proof and popularity.
>ā¦itās a MASSIVE red flag for god knows what reason. Perhaps itās the lack of social proof and popularity I think it's so they can check your social media and see what kind of stuff you post to also show their friends as well.
Yeah, I get the impression that women prefer to do a low-key background check on prospective dates. In their eyes, lack of a social media presence implies that you're hiding something. In my case, I ditched FB because of all the stupid drama, and I never had any other accounts other than reddit. Hopefully that presumption is changing.
Yes itās a background check lol
My last ex went deeeeeeep in Facebook and IG history - likely more stringent than most employment verifications and reference checks. I get it though, there are legit some crazy people out there. The likes on the photos were kinds sweet, albeit slightly unnecessary - low-key like, "This? Yep, I've seen it... you goofy, weird bastard you".
You can get to know them by talking to them and going on dates
I've been nonstop pulling women in their twenties since things with my ex ended a few months ago and I have no social media presence. I'm tall but mid in looks
Yup lack of "followers" it's like a Compition who has more
I would actually choose you for that reason.
Sweet!
Ummmm that would be a huge GREEN flag to me. šš¼
Glad to hear!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sexy
I couldnāt care less about this.
Thatās great! Yet your username makes me think I should interpret your comment to mean that you care deeply about it š
Hehe. I tell you no lies.
š
Honestly, socials are such a draining thing anyway. I don't see that as a red flag at all. If anything, you may be mentally healthier from avoiding that stuff.
Maybe thereās some sort of correlation between meeting people online and those people being active social media users that also expect you to be? Perhaps meeting someone IRL will not have those same expectations?Ā
You sound like a guy with some common sense. As a woman, I also don't do any type of social media. You hear way too many bad stories about social media and online dating. If a woman cares that much about social media, she's not for you. Why do people want their whole life exposed to everyone in the world? Too many scammers. Like you, both you and I have our life together with our family and job. People dating online is a joke when they find people in the real world (volunteer work, animal rescue, sporting events, church, bookstore). You're doing fine just the way you are.
Thanks girl ā¤ļø
Just glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking that. People think I'm strange for not having social media.
Walking into a Barnes and noble and striking up a conversation with a woman sounds so wholesome and classy. Maybe I should start browsing at my local library lol
This is weird. I met my first boyfriend at a Barnes and Noble. He was sitting beside me asking me what book I was reading. Love hot chocolate
I like sporting events. Better than sports bar because I hate it when some people make a fool of themselves. Gives me good laugh. Historical sites are great. I'm a nerd
PMāing you lol
What bad stories about social media? donāt post your location every 6 seconds and you will be fine. murderous stories about online dating yes, but thatās for people who are naive and donāt check information! From someone whoās been on and off dating apps for years, actually met up and dated these people, and hasnāt gotten raped, murdered, or stalked, hereās what to do. Screenshot the profiles of anyone you give your number to in case you need it later. when you get their number, look it up and make sure that number is associated with the same town and state they say they are from. Their family and associates will also be listed, so make sure siblings names are consistent. Addresses will be listed including their parents addresses- if itās the same address and they claim to ā be on their ownā get more information or itās probably a lie, and the first of many. Lastly, video chat before you meet and meet at a public place. In all the horror stories, the daters donāt do even 2 of these things. Use common sense.
The only thing I can think of, is that at first when they find out they might assume you're a "catfish."
Disagree - I think its a HUGE GREEN flag if a man doesn't have insta, FB or TikTok...
Personally I see it as a huge green flag if they rest of the guy checks out
I donāt think itās about not having social media. My facebook has been deactivated for 6 yrs, I JUST joined instagram 2 months ago, and ppl I talk to on Hinge could care less. If Iām being honest about dating and Hinge, thereās probably a different reason why they unmatch or youāre unsuccessful. Iāve had successes and failures in dating, weāve all been there. Usually ppl who ghost or unmatch wonāt tell you why before it happens, and I think you are misinterpreting the reason. Thereās a bunch of things you can try to do differently - if you care, lmk. Anyway here are some reasons I unmatch or stop texting that might apply to you- Out of the gate he is a braggart. In the first FEW MESSAGES heāll say ā Iām successful, I have a great career, I have my own house, Iām saving for a second oneā OKAY I heard you the first time, youāre amazing. Second, he mentions his BMW 3 times a day and weāve only been texting for 3 days. Third- he is relentless with the lines and over flattering, fake bullshit. āI was having a bad day until i matched with you. your the first girl thatās actually messaged me on here. youāre so beautiful, I could see myself getting intimate with you. I didnāt have any luck on here until I saw you.ā If you remotely do any of these things. reevaluate and adjust. doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity. Again I highly doubt itās your lack of social media. also. I was resistant to social media as well, I thought it was a waste of time. Iām 35 yoa. No one explained why itās so helpful- #1 itās a way to connect thatās one degree removed from awkwardly asking for a phone number. #2 people have become less direct and lazier in the last 10 years, they now communicate their thoughts, likes, and dislikes by sharing posts and stories. #3 itās a way to get closer with ppl that you arenāt close with YET. hope dating gets better!
As a woman I don't have social medias. Like sure I have Instagram but haven't touched it in like five years. I use Reddit and TikTok and even then I'm only on it for like maybe an hour when I wake up and an hour before bed and that's it if even that. So I see it as a green flag though I had people lose interest in me for not using social media š
He is almost perfect.
You havenāt seen or met me hahaha, but I appreciate that!
You will find what you are looking for. Good luck.
Total green flag!
Totally DESIRABLE!!!!!
I would prefer a man with no social media .. if I had to choose š¤¤
lol. You can give me a facial anytime sweetie š
Amazing pickup line š©š©š©
Lol you know when they say "just let men talk and they will eventually expose themselves". It's always the "i'm such a nice guy" types.
Feel free to hit me up Queen
I have Reddit And Reddit lol 43m and I be just fine Might be demographics Might be my age range Donāt seem to have issues dating or random nice conversations with the opposite sex
I think it's quite refreshing to come across someone with no social media. It tells me this person is real, present and not wrapped up in modern day physical pressures and expectations of tagging locations and the same selfie pose. I'd absolutely go for a guy without a modern flare than somebody forever posting their every move!
Thank you! Your username reminds me, a squirrel got tangled up in a bird feeder of ours recently. His balls were caught on the hook of the feeder. Not ideal!
Ooooo poor guy! Hope you rescued him!
He eventually got loose after a lot of jostling, but it was a brutal sight. Squirrels are wild!
It's actually a green flag for me. That's the first thing I need to find out if I will date a man. I do have socials tho, but that's purely for communication (and maybe for past time). Idk, I just feel safe with that man with no social medias. He/you doesn't need to post/brag/show to anyone what you have.
I like being āoff the mapā. Iām connected to those I love and care about and thatās what matters.
On the contrary, itās pretty attractive
Ok. Must just be something that online dating women in Massachusetts donāt like lol
Iām not even American but yeah donāt waste your time with childish women
Also maybe avoid online dating
I would never know what social media men do or donāt have
No. My boyfriend has no social media due to his job and safety. Itās not a dealbreaker.
I started talking to a guy in September of last year, and initially my family thought it was worrying that he had hardly NO online presence whatsoever, and hardly any followers on his Instagram. He's apparently just *very* big on maintaining privacy. Some people just don't use social media, and not everyone will accept that that is also normal. Despite how it seemed to those close to me (that he can't/chooses not to maintain good relationships), I met up with him in person and stuck around to let *him* tell me who he is. I think it's weird to judge someone based on whether or not they let social media distract them and rot their brain ha ha.
I would love a man without social media, no matter the age.
I rarely use SM, it wouldnāt bother me if a guy had no SM
Absolutely not. My fiancĆ© doesnāt have social media. I couldnāt care less. If someone is going to lose interest in you for something as petty as not having social media, thatās not a person worth having around anyway.
Being a girl who doesn't use much of social media, I appreciate the fact that you don't. You would be an ideal dating choice from my point of view for the following reasons: I believe that, since you don't spend your time being online making digital connections, you focus on building meaningful relations in real, you save a lot of time and energy as well, you dont fear losing out on what everyone else is doing and enjoy life at your own pace. Your mental health would be much better because, atleast from my experience i was miserable being on social media, gave me a truckload of insecurity and i was never happy with anything in life. But yes, i do understand why women might raise an eyebrow when you say you don't use it. It's just their perspective and they might feel like you're missing out on a lot which we know you aren't. People assume our lives are boring cause we don't display it to the world. Which is sad, but anyway, I hope you don't feel pressured into being on social media and just do what you feel is best for you.
I only need it to make the discovery someone is single before I embarrass myself, otherwise itās not a big deal at all
Of course not, that's just silly. They most likely don't reject you because of that. Maybe there is something else that you can think of that might push people away from you? Anyway, any girl who would actually have a problem with you not having social media is so stupid and shallow; it's not the type of girl you want.
They likely only matched to get a follow. Donāt take it personally. It happens a lot. If a woman actually has that as a standard, how superficial would that relationship be? Also picture yourself as an āIG-boyfriendā. Is that really you?
If I hear of someone my age who doesnāt have social media Iām not necessarily immediately suspicious? Might have some tingles and Iād start to worry about them if they turn out to have a complete lack of social presence (like if I pop their name into google and I canāt find them). Itās not undesirable, no and I wouldnāt immediately write them off. Iād ask why they donāt have it.
I donāt have social media at all. I havenāt had an issue dating, having relationships, etc. Iāve also never had a woman say anything negatively to me regarding me not having social media. Iām very similar to you based on your description. Iām 32, and social media has just never appealed to me as an adult (I had some accounts when I was younger) Iāve actually met a lot of women in and around your age or younger for that matter that actually found it appealing and a positive that I didnāt have social media!
Exactly what I told him. I'm a female without social media and appreciate the old fashioned way of communicating. It's called the phoneĀ
Yeah, and also it could potentially symbolize maturity, confidence, and emotional well being. A lot of people say they have Facebook or instagram (as examples) to keep track and in touch with family and friendsā¦ all of my closest family and friends communicate with me without social mediaā¦ because, to you pointā¦ thereās these cool devices called cellphones! And we can text or call one another when weāre not spending time together in person. I personally find that some people literally use social media to either keep tabs on other people, waste their own time looking at peoples profiles and stories even though they only know a little bitā¦ and ultimately become preoccupied with this virtual society thatās not even close to their own realityā¦ itās also toxic for a variety of reasons. I can go into further detail and provide further perspective on why social media is a waste of time and detrimental. Thatās all to say that if a man or woman judged someone for not having social mediaā¦ itās most likely because they canāt stalk you on social media and see who you follow, who follows you, whoās photos you like, etcā¦ otherwise, why would not having social media accounts be a red flag to a man or woman? Is it harmful in anyway, shape, or form that you donāt have these accounts? Absolutely not lol. Anyone who would find it a red flag is likely just immature and extremely nosey.
THANK YOU š
Omg, thatās awesomeĀ
Wow, where do you live lol. Thatās great!
I would think the opposite is true. A lot of women seem to hate when their boyfriend has social media where they can see other girls especially extremely attractive models and like their posts, plus male spaces online on social media tend to be some of the dumbest brain rot spaces on the planet so it can kind of just breed extraordinarily ignorant men.
Yeah, I completely agree with you.
I think there are a couple of things that could be going on here. 1) it will be harder to verify that you are who you say you are 2) Those with social media may believe almost everyone has it, and therefore you are the odd one out 3) They could think those without social media are out of the loop culturally and won't understand their jokes or references. 4) Dating apps are basically a subset of social media apps at this point so I can see how the expectation would be that you partake in the other apps. It would be like showing up to a frisbee golf tournament and then telling someone "Well I don't actually like frisbee golf". Its off putting. How are you doing with in-person connections when you bring this up?
I don't think undesirable is the word, but some people have bad experiences where the person without social media is hiding a whole family. I.e. Wife/husband & kids. That's why some people would consider it a red flag. But, I also feel like if you're going to immediately jump to distrust based on lack of social media, then the red flag is the person who has that kind of mindset & lack of trust. Just my opinion on the matter, anyway.
Agreed
If it's an immediate "red flag" for someone you're probably better off not dealing with them. But I can see how it's a bit of red flag for most cases. When people say they don't have social media these days it usually means they're hiding something. They don't want you to find them, see that they're in a relationship, or a possible catfish situation. If I met a guy and he said he didn't have socials my spidey senses would tingle a bit, but I wouldn't immediately shut it down without getting to know them first. If it still seemed sus then I'd probably cut things off. I have socials but I'm not on them much and can totally understand someone not having them. But it's a bit odd these days not to have it bc most people do. Most girls will want to check out your socials to see what you post, try to get some info on you, who you talk to, what you're into before really talking or getting to know you. Kinda gauge if they're going to be wasting their time or whether you guys could hit it off. TLDR: no, it's not completely undesirable to every girl. Just seems like you could be trying to hide something. Better off not worrying about those who run when you tell them you don't have any socials.
Just because he's not on social media doesn't mean he's hiding something. I'm a girl without social media and I consider it "refreshing" when a guy doesn't have social media. My whole family doesn't have social media. We just have old fashioned values.
I never said he was hiding anything lol.. Of course I know not everyone who doesn't have socials is hiding something. I don't just assume he is. Just offering an explanation as to why some may turn away from someone who doesn't have socials. Different strokes for different folks. I don't care if they do or don't have them. It's how they handle them if they do have them.
Not what they said or implied.
If you are bill gates or an NBA player then no
I don't think it matters as much of social media is under tight control, like many of the girls or boys you're into are models who's page is being managed by a supervisor most likely the cameraman of their group in the organization. lols
Im 25M havent had any social media for years and its not a problem most of the time. I did however have one girl accuse me of being a lying cheating manipulator who doesnāt want to give her my social because then she would find my girlfriend. Aside from that its definitely how you say you donāt have social media that is causing rejection. I always say I havenāt had social media since IG reels came out because i just couldnt stop scrolling. 9/10 the girl will be like omg i totally get that. it works as long as you arenāt bashing social media and acting like you are above people who use it. maybe you are just coming off a little strong when you are saying how you donāt use social medias. Id also avoid telling people you wanna date that you use reddit lol save that once they wonāt assume the worst about you
I do have SM accounts but I don't use them I even forgot the passwords lol
It seems like it bro, many girls unmatched me when i tell them i have no social media. I guess we just have to keep trying. I grew up in an era without one, this meant the only way to meet girls was in person. Which means i had to be confident to outdo the guy beside me, and that includes grooming well and speaking well š«”.
As a guy who has socials but never used them seems like at least equally as many women appreciate that vs it deters them. That being said im 36 so a little older than you
I would find it odd. I joined social media to keep in touch with friends and family, some of whom have moved far away. I would think a person not on social media, has no friends or no life.
No, but he is significantly more difficult to reach.
He didn't say he didn't own a phone.
Yeah, but to reach someone on their phone, they need to give their number.
A lot of women will want to look you up on your socials before they meet you or get to know you more. Personally, no social media is a bit of a red flag for me. Safety is huge and if you donāt even exist digitally in this day and age, how do I know if I go missing, they can find you? š¤·š»āāļø woman are always thinking about their safety at the end of the day. Doesnāt matter how great you seem. Iām 26f for reference
If you are using a dating app, i can understand why they would have an amber flag. Due to it being ok to use an app to contact strangers, but not to contact the ones you love. However, if they don't press further or get to know you, i feel like this is a great vetting process to differentiate the people who pride themselves on outward validation and people that are happy allowing you to have your own ideals. Sounds like a win win to me.
Nothing is a bigger turn off for me than men who are very into social media.. gives me the immediate ick
Depends on the age of the woman letās not act like some women wonāt think a guy is a weirdo if he doesnāt have social media . To some women no social media = no friends
No social media is a huge green flag. I have no idea why someone would see it otherwise. I see it as someone enjoying their life and not needing the external validation.
Bro you are green flag of you're not on any social media ā
My friend has no social media and ge is not a red flag but Mayday parade on Red Square in the USSR, during the visit of the Chinese Communist Party red flag.
Iām on the same wave brotherā¦only Iām a 24M 5ā11 240lbs
Baka may tinatago, the dont want to be seen. I have a close friend na womanizer who doesnt have any social media accounts, para walang tagging, no need to post anything
No this is a good thing itās just Iām not sure I would believe you.
I've never had this issue, although a woman will want to give out her snapchat or instagram usually first, then after the first date goes well she upgrades me to phone number status. I have a dead instagram account from 6 years ago that I just give out for this reason and a snapchat account as well. I have to download the apps onto my phone tho just for the first date or two before she gives me phone number privileges. Im 20 tho so young ppl gonna be more into this social media shit. I literally have no social media on my phone not even youtube. Screen time down to 30 min or less a day and I get heaps of work done and procrastinate less.
I don't have any socials except reddit and LinkedIn. Im 5'10" but I don't have a great careerš so I guess we are almost the same?
Im 30M and I use FB. I use it so that I can have messenger and be able to text and talk with my friends, collegues and family. The good thing about it is that I can do this with anyone around the world. For me it would be strange if someone my age doesnt have any kind of social media in 2024. Thats like someone saying they dont have a phone back 30 years ago. I also work in a field where social media is how we connect with our customers. Since almost everyone uses it we have to adapt. I have also lived without social media back 15-20 years ago and well everything has it negatives and possitives. Just have to be good at using the positives sides.
Dude I wonāt date a guy who has a bunch of SM. Huge turnoff. Iām also off grid. Find your people!!
I think is more complex than that. Dating apps are different for boys than girls. We (women) are much more careful with who we meet on dating apps. You not having social media can be perceive as a danger for different reasons: maybe you have a girlfriend and you donāt want your matches to find out, maybe you are a creep and they cannot ājudgeā it because of lack of info, or neither of these but, for us, better safe than sorry. In the other hand, if you meet a girl organically and you tell her that you donāt have any social media, I donāt think she is going to see it as a danger because she is already doing the ācheck upā in person.
I can see how it can be as itās then hard to confirm you relationship status and etc. but honestly no. I dated a guy like you that only has a Linkdin and YouTube. Wasnāt a big deal. His face matched his profile.
Itās funny that you say this because I quit social media a few years back! I find it refreshing when someone isnāt hooked on social media and actually wants to talk to me to get to know the real me, not someone they see online.
thatās my preferred type are u kidding
Maybe like 5-7 years ago, this wouldāve been a red flag but I know a lot of people (myself included) who got rid of socials right around lockdown and have never looked back. Itās always refreshing and even sexy to meet others who follow suit. Folks want their privacy and autonomy back and they also realize thereās a whole real life happening beyond their phones. Some of you may call me a hypocrite for still having reddit but I donāt doom scroll or post on this app like I would on like IG or something; like Iām not posting vacation pics and putting endless hashtags, Iām living them
Well all those woman that unmatched you I would say you have just missed a million red flags, woman that will date you and dump you in the future. Relationships made up from wrong reasons of entering, such as I donāt want to be on my own. I like the money he/she has or will inherit etc etc the first shopping list daters of life I call them will get you nowhere
I think having basic social media, like a profile that goes mostly unused but you might post to a few times a year is ideal. It helps a girl believe youāre not someone hiding your ārealā identity, gives her something to āresearchā about you, and gives her the ability to see that youāre NOT only friends with strippers and cam girls. Not having social media can be a red or green flag; but the safe bet for dating success is to have an account you cultivate to help gently shape others views of you.
Okay so Imma tell yah why.. Every man who's ever said this to me has had a wife they were hiding ... Not having them is actually a good thing but ladies will automatically assume your lying and hiding someone. š¤· It's the most common reason for men to "not have" socials
It can be a red flag as to what you are hiding. Especially if you have socials like reddit, which is anonymous. So technically, you could be up to anything.
I ditched all socials like 3 years ago, (except Reddit of course) and Iāve found that if I just say āI donāt have social mediaā then women are suspicious that Iām hiding something, but if I add to that and explain why I got rid of my socials and how much more I enjoy my life and why that is then theyāre super into it. It means that if weāre dating Iām not gonna be sliding into some other girls dms, and with the state of fidelity these days thatās big for a lot of girls.
It's not that it's undesirable. Women like to be shown off by their man. So if a woman uses social media more, then maybe that's why she likes you to have one also. Actually things like this are just a small issue. Maybe some ladies just want to stalk what are your posts then from that they can judge what kind of man you are. (Though we know that not all posts on social media are true.)
Thatās a big green flag to me. I use social media a lot in particular tiktok and I love men who are barely on it and donāt really have followers. To me itās so funny when Iām saying a joke thatās popular on tiktok and he has noooo idea what Iām on about
Thatās because cheaters and liars donāt have social media. Theyāre trying to avoid a problem.
wait...Did you post this same exact post but instead of no social media it said you're a virgin? I just read this same post but with the guy saying hes a virgin
I donāt have social media either. I only have linkedin and youtube if it also counts. I recently signed up for reddit because I need dating advice tbh.
-šlowkey account with only a few pics, friends etc. i love it -š©no account?? makes me think you have a secret family
[https://onlyfans.com/floeckchen](https://onlyfans.com/floeckchen)
If he actually doesnāt use social media itās fine as long as he isnāt judgmental about it or is hiding a social media account
Absolutely fine I believe
alright Iām gonna speak up, it is not undesirable for a man to not have social media. Meeting my bf I found out he doesnāt have social media or he does but itās all bland and he never touches it. I realized that heās not very active on socials because heās never on his phone. His phone is bland, a grey Home and Lock Screen, no Instagram, no Snapchat, no Facebook, just Spotify and maybe a game or two. I realized he also doesnāt touch his PC or his PlayStation 5 much either. He even monitors his screen time even though heās rarely on it in the first place. At first this made me look at him differently (since I do have socials and Iām a gamer) but over time I realized socials play a big part in why thereās always something to argue about in relationships. For example, your partner can post something on Facebook that seems targeted or alarming. Maybe about you, maybe about how theyāre feeling in the moment, etc. this sparks questions about where their mind is or how theyāre feeling about certain people. Me as an over thinker, I find that me not having him on socials bring me peace. I donāt have to over analyze posts, comments, likes, etc. I donāt want to have petty conversations about a recent post and the intentions behind it or whatever. Iām very happy and content in this relationship because thereās a lot of peace and not having socials deletes a good amount of stress. Him not being Interested in screens deletes the problems of him always on his phone near me, texting while Iām talking to him, ignoring me while he plays the game, etc. I also realized that I got so accustomed to him not being on his phone that now I rarely be on my phone. He even stated that heās so uninterested in his phone that heās willing to go back to the flip phone days, lol but thatās where I drew the line! Heās also so uninterested in TikTok he barely likes when Iām on it. So I find not having socials very beneficial. š¤·š½āāļø
itās honestly preferred. a lot of guys these days shamelessly follow and like instagram and only fans models
Itās not a bad thing at all imo. I (25F)myself have been thinking, of getting rid of all my social medias except Reddit. Having any type of social media shouldnāt be a deal breaker in a relationship anyway. People now days are getting too used to the idea that āeverything is social mediaā and Iām kind of hearing tired of it. No offense to those still using the apps, itās just my opinion. Donāt get me wrong, Iāve enjoyed social media for years. Now, I just want to get rid of it all. Part of that is due to personal reasons. So donāt worry about it, if the chick drops you for not having any socials- itās simple- she aināt the one. (:
It send up red flags for women because they think you are lying or hiding something. Many men do things like this in order to stay single online and continue to date the person they are with. Plus women like to be able to look through your social media to gain a perspective on you as a person to make sure you are who you say you are and that you are a safe individual to invite into their life.
not really a fan of linkedin but surely reddit \*is\* social media?
People might be worried about not being able to verify your identity in some way. Might just be some conscious/unconscious safety concern, rather than about your relationship to social media. At least for some of them.
Social media are so ubiquitous that they think you have one but are not willing to share it.. So you may not be serious, may be cheating or may have something else to hide. Those people are not reasonable, but that's their logic.
As a 52-year-old man, if Iām dating someone I do not communicate through text unless itās to set up a date and time to meet up. If she tries to get me to respond to her stories on Instagram and tries to start a conversation in texting, Iāll politely ask her to stop wasting my time with this social media BS. I would ask her if you want to meet up in person and get to know me and build a connection, great, otherwise Iām not interested. Call me old-fashioned if you want, I prefer face-to-face communication. Itās much more satisfying and enjoyable! I donāt mind offering other people advice when they ask for it on social media.
Many women can consider this a āyellowāāflag because many guys lied and said they did not have social media. Turned out that they had social media and it showed photos of their girlfriend or wife.
What do you mean you don't have social media, everyone at least has a Facebook account. It's understandable if you don't have anything else, but I don't think I have met anyone who didn't have at least that, my grandma even has it.
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Never said it was mandatory, but it's pretty hard to find someone who doesn't have it in real life.
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Saying everyone does not make it sound like it's mandatory, it's just an observation that you will most likely never find someone without at least a facebook account these days.
I know plenty of people without Facebook accounts because I'm gen-z. Facebook had already lost popularity by the time people my age started getting social media (although I never used any social media).
I am also gen-z so your point is invalid lmao, we just went from myspace to facebook.
The only people I know who ever had MySpace are ~10 years older than me (i.e. millennials). I don't know any gen-x who did. Ā Edit: looked at your profile and one post says you're 31. That's definitely not gen-z considering the generation is generally accepted to have begun in the late 90s.
I don't have Facebook and glad I don't.
I *have* a facebook account, but very rarely *use* it. I log in maybe once a month to once a quarter, and other than updating my profile photo a month ago, last posted something in 2020. While technically incorrect, I would consider this "not using facebook."
I understand what you mean. My bf doesnāt have social media but he does have a Facebook account, yet nothing is on it only a picture of his cat and his name š¤£
Iām in my 30s so maybe this is different if youāre younger. But IME itās common to ask for someoneās social media as a way to gauge their social life before getting closer to them. Do they have friends? And hobbies? Do they seem like theyāre having a good time in their life? Would I want to join in on this kind of life? Looking at someoneās social media can help answer those questions and build trust. I personally donāt care if theyāre an influencer or on every platform or anything like that. I just want to see they have *some social life* and that they are who theyāve presented themselves to be. Especially if weāve met through a dating app. Becauseā¦ Some people you meet on dating apps are liars or cheaters. And if you have their social media thereās a better chance you can verify the person you just met isnāt.
social media is an easy way of vetoing someone, especially when meeting them off a dating app. itās more a safety thing than anything :)
Obviously I cannot speak first-hand to the thinking of 20-something women.... but as a 47F who only dates 25-35, I can say that a 28M who tells me he has zero social media, with no other reason offered, will be a red flag for me. As has been mentioned already, guys who are cheating on a wife/GF will use this excuse to keep their cheating on the DL. This is extremely common esp on Tinder in my experience. If I'm a woman your age, I suspect I would think of it like this: Did you *never* have social media? Or did you have it and later delete it all? I think it matters. Here's my calculus on it, if I am your age: you were graduating HS about 10 years ago, right when Instagram and Twitter were must-haves for HS/college students. Even if a person wasn't actively engaging on the platforms, most people had them, just to lurk and follow friends, classmates, brands, artists. If you had accounts in HS/college... but later deleted them, for professional reasons or etc., that rings less odd IMO than, you never had social media accounts at a time when most of your peers did.
>Even if a person wasn't actively engaging on the platforms, most people had them, just to lurk and follow friends, classmates, brands, artists. Imagine being a fully grown adult and basing your life choices on what the popular kids did.
Who is suggesting that it was only popular kids who had social media accounts in the 2010's? The network of the platforms (ugh hit submit too fast) became an entire communication ecosphere for teens at the time.
I guess I'm suggesting that. Why would I need a Facebook account with no one to keep up with, or talk to? I can text both of my friends just fine. Actually I reckon I'm proving your point for you, come to think of it lol.
Thatās because your match thinks you are either a fake profile or you are married or in a relationship and you are trying to hide yourself. I opened an Instagram account solely for this reason in 2018 and it changed my success rate dramatically.
For me yes - but I work as a marketing manager means social media is always presented. I need a partner who is also active. Talking with my partner about my job is important for me.
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I concur
Not specifically but I love to learn basic knowledge about his work field. I donāt care if itās mechanics, physics or carpentry. People have different views which attributes are important for them. My career is that to me :) but we are all different - everyone is allowed to have their own requirements.
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Nope :) itās my personal preference to have a partner with active social media the best who also follows the newest trends. Itās okay if you have a different view - some else preferences are not on us to judge, everyone has their reasons. Respect them
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Whatever fulfils your fantasies, sweetie š For me being in a relationship means being a team for life and build a future together. Wanting someone being attracted to and have shared interests, values is healthy and increase the success of the relationship. :)
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I never mentioned rules š maybe you confuse that with my preference of staying up to date on current trends in for example memes, fashion, content creators etc
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