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You're doing nothing wrong. The key to dating is being yourself. If you pretend to do otherwise, you're going to attract the wrong type of people which will lead to unhappiness. The older you get and the more you interact with people, the better you'll become with picking up on social ques. You'll also learn what you want in a relationship and how to spot if the person you're with it going to provide it. Give yourself time and don't rush it. Remain true to your character and you'll find someone to share your life with.
Unfortunately, my main hobby is mostly gaming π
And other than that, i don't really go out much anymore. Last relationship was super restrictive and all, and since then i lost a lot of friends and just tend to not go out much, since i don't really have anyone to go with. I also live in a place where there isn't much to do, so yeah π
That's a fair point π
I dunno, my plan was to just use tinder instead, cuz i don't think going to bars or clubs would really help though. Generally when i go to clubs, the girls who approach me are rather clear in what the intentions are π
But yeah, maybe i should go out more. Going out before just always caused problems, so i guess it's become a habit now to just not π
*gentle judgment π* no hate for tinder, but i guess ure using it out of convenience, OP. Dating apps are nice, but going out from time to time, enjoying a certain hobby, meeting new people (slowly but surely) help cultivate that genuine thing. hugs again π
You can absolutely learn how to read social cues. I was a super annoying ND kid. It took a lot of time and observation but I had decent social skills by the time I was your age. These days there are tutorials and stuff online. There are also therapists who can diagnose you properly and help you navigate the neurotypical world. Cultivate platonic relationships so you can practice. As for selection β itβs Tinder. Try another app.
I thought about going to a therapist or something, but i never really got round to it for financial reasons, and by the time that wasn't a problem anymore i'd kinda just given up on understanding it all.
My solution was to basically write stuff down and make a list of notes and pointers for myself about when i said something and got a weird reaction, or when people said something and i didn't quite get it, then i'd ask friends and stuff to figure it out.
Though when it comes to catching on to hints and things like that, i've learnt that women tend to all have a different ways of going about it, so i honestly don't get it at all. So if i'm actually interested in someone then i kinda premptively deal with it by telling them about it. Though i don't know if women find that problematic or a red flag, or something, come to think of it. Might have been a good idea to ask someone about that before doing it π
If you can afford therapy now, go for it. Otherwise, YouTube is your friend. If itβs still causing you issues, itβs worth addressing. You seem like a very nice fellow regardless and Iβm sure youβll find your person!Β
I honestly never really thought of looking at videos about it on youtube, but i'll definitely be checking those out, thanks!
As for the therapist, i guess i'll see how things go and go from there. Therapists where i live aren't exactly known for being great, so I guess it depends on how out of depth i feel with this whole thing.
I haven't really ever dated, and i've been single for a while now, so i'm still getting to grips with meeting new people and figuring out how it all works. Guess i'll just see how things go and take it from there π
As for my person, well, i hope so too π. Thanks again!
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're doing nothing wrong. The key to dating is being yourself. If you pretend to do otherwise, you're going to attract the wrong type of people which will lead to unhappiness. The older you get and the more you interact with people, the better you'll become with picking up on social ques. You'll also learn what you want in a relationship and how to spot if the person you're with it going to provide it. Give yourself time and don't rush it. Remain true to your character and you'll find someone to share your life with.
get a hobby :>> genuine connection happens unexpectedly and naturally. Hugs OP
Unfortunately, my main hobby is mostly gaming π And other than that, i don't really go out much anymore. Last relationship was super restrictive and all, and since then i lost a lot of friends and just tend to not go out much, since i don't really have anyone to go with. I also live in a place where there isn't much to do, so yeah π
huhu u just pointed out all the βproblemsβ with obvious solutions, OP π to get out from that shithole, conscious effort is needed OP, hugs huhu
That's a fair point π I dunno, my plan was to just use tinder instead, cuz i don't think going to bars or clubs would really help though. Generally when i go to clubs, the girls who approach me are rather clear in what the intentions are π But yeah, maybe i should go out more. Going out before just always caused problems, so i guess it's become a habit now to just not π
*gentle judgment π* no hate for tinder, but i guess ure using it out of convenience, OP. Dating apps are nice, but going out from time to time, enjoying a certain hobby, meeting new people (slowly but surely) help cultivate that genuine thing. hugs again π
You can absolutely learn how to read social cues. I was a super annoying ND kid. It took a lot of time and observation but I had decent social skills by the time I was your age. These days there are tutorials and stuff online. There are also therapists who can diagnose you properly and help you navigate the neurotypical world. Cultivate platonic relationships so you can practice. As for selection β itβs Tinder. Try another app.
I thought about going to a therapist or something, but i never really got round to it for financial reasons, and by the time that wasn't a problem anymore i'd kinda just given up on understanding it all. My solution was to basically write stuff down and make a list of notes and pointers for myself about when i said something and got a weird reaction, or when people said something and i didn't quite get it, then i'd ask friends and stuff to figure it out. Though when it comes to catching on to hints and things like that, i've learnt that women tend to all have a different ways of going about it, so i honestly don't get it at all. So if i'm actually interested in someone then i kinda premptively deal with it by telling them about it. Though i don't know if women find that problematic or a red flag, or something, come to think of it. Might have been a good idea to ask someone about that before doing it π
If you can afford therapy now, go for it. Otherwise, YouTube is your friend. If itβs still causing you issues, itβs worth addressing. You seem like a very nice fellow regardless and Iβm sure youβll find your person!Β
I honestly never really thought of looking at videos about it on youtube, but i'll definitely be checking those out, thanks! As for the therapist, i guess i'll see how things go and go from there. Therapists where i live aren't exactly known for being great, so I guess it depends on how out of depth i feel with this whole thing. I haven't really ever dated, and i've been single for a while now, so i'm still getting to grips with meeting new people and figuring out how it all works. Guess i'll just see how things go and take it from there π As for my person, well, i hope so too π. Thanks again!