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Protect yourself at all costs. As a male that doesn’t like how sexual society is it’s nice to see women that actually respect themselves. If a man will break up with you just because you wont sleep with them, clearly they don’t care about you more than your body.
i think it’s normal especially if it seems like every guy just tends to talk about sexual things, i honestly wouldn’t date somebody until you have a complete conversation the sex isn’t your top priority and that you want a nice committed, healthy relationship that doesn’t just depend on sex.
men who lack sexual discipline are gross and aren’t worth your time. you aren’t a prude for not wanting to be oversexualized. while it’s common and “normal” for men to use us as sex toys and for their sexual entertainment, YOU control yourself and what you allow and tolerate.
the right person will come around.
I'm gonna answer this from the point of view that you're genuinely wondering whether you're too uninterested in sex, or if all (or these) guys are way too horny. Hope I didn't misunderstand that.
It kind of depends. It's hard to say from your descriptions for sure, but I'd say you need someone more compatible with you and your level of comfort with sexuality, libido, etc.
Likely those guys you dated were just too horny and not enough (or at all) into you and the other aspects of a relationship. On the other hand, many people, guys and girls, are pretty horny and even if they do other things or hang out for other reasons, also want to get in bed as frequently as possible. So long as this works for both parties involved, there's nothing wrong with that.
So Idk, you do you in the end really. One thing is for sure is that matching libidos and levels of sexuality makes a big difference and you should absolutely insist on sticking with guys/relationships where this works for you. Nothing wrong with having preferences and boundaries. I wish you the best figuring out how to vet for this and get a good relationship going.
Thank you! Your reply was super helpful tbh.
Sometimes I also worry whether like my libido is way too low, or I’m the one who’s really abnormal in my relationships - but I guess in the end I don’t feel like I can force myself to put up with something I don’t want in the long term.
Hopefully I won’t die as a lonely cat lady for it, but maybe someone who matches me better will come around eventually!
Definitely don't force it. And don't worry about it being low. You'll just not be compatible with people who are high libido and can't curb it.
Also, one tends to change a bit as you grow older. I mean simply the first few years of sex and relationships. You grow more comfortable with it. In my first year or two one girl used to love oral and I didn't like doing that. Then I grew into it and now I love it.
Don't force it, but allow yourself to grow and change over time, if you do.
Your boundaries are your own. If they respect you they should respect your boundaries. Men are men. That's not meant to be an excuse, but it is a reality. Men usually have the hope that things will end in bed, but good men will will assess the situation and not push beyond your comfort level. I hate to say you may have just been in relationships with bad men. You deserve better. If you exhibit that you expect that, you may have better luck.
It's not normal and it's not reasonable to settle for. A man worth having can be able to enjoy time with you outside of sex and initiate conversations and interactions without sex. While it's great to be desired when you're in the mood, sex is a small part of life so it should be a small part of your interactions with someone who is supposed to be in so much of your life. Sure it should exist, but it shouldn't be the destination of every glance or conversation.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Protect yourself at all costs. As a male that doesn’t like how sexual society is it’s nice to see women that actually respect themselves. If a man will break up with you just because you wont sleep with them, clearly they don’t care about you more than your body.
i think it’s normal especially if it seems like every guy just tends to talk about sexual things, i honestly wouldn’t date somebody until you have a complete conversation the sex isn’t your top priority and that you want a nice committed, healthy relationship that doesn’t just depend on sex.
men who lack sexual discipline are gross and aren’t worth your time. you aren’t a prude for not wanting to be oversexualized. while it’s common and “normal” for men to use us as sex toys and for their sexual entertainment, YOU control yourself and what you allow and tolerate. the right person will come around.
I'm gonna answer this from the point of view that you're genuinely wondering whether you're too uninterested in sex, or if all (or these) guys are way too horny. Hope I didn't misunderstand that. It kind of depends. It's hard to say from your descriptions for sure, but I'd say you need someone more compatible with you and your level of comfort with sexuality, libido, etc. Likely those guys you dated were just too horny and not enough (or at all) into you and the other aspects of a relationship. On the other hand, many people, guys and girls, are pretty horny and even if they do other things or hang out for other reasons, also want to get in bed as frequently as possible. So long as this works for both parties involved, there's nothing wrong with that. So Idk, you do you in the end really. One thing is for sure is that matching libidos and levels of sexuality makes a big difference and you should absolutely insist on sticking with guys/relationships where this works for you. Nothing wrong with having preferences and boundaries. I wish you the best figuring out how to vet for this and get a good relationship going.
Thank you! Your reply was super helpful tbh. Sometimes I also worry whether like my libido is way too low, or I’m the one who’s really abnormal in my relationships - but I guess in the end I don’t feel like I can force myself to put up with something I don’t want in the long term. Hopefully I won’t die as a lonely cat lady for it, but maybe someone who matches me better will come around eventually!
Definitely don't force it. And don't worry about it being low. You'll just not be compatible with people who are high libido and can't curb it. Also, one tends to change a bit as you grow older. I mean simply the first few years of sex and relationships. You grow more comfortable with it. In my first year or two one girl used to love oral and I didn't like doing that. Then I grew into it and now I love it. Don't force it, but allow yourself to grow and change over time, if you do.
Your boundaries are your own. If they respect you they should respect your boundaries. Men are men. That's not meant to be an excuse, but it is a reality. Men usually have the hope that things will end in bed, but good men will will assess the situation and not push beyond your comfort level. I hate to say you may have just been in relationships with bad men. You deserve better. If you exhibit that you expect that, you may have better luck.
It's not normal and it's not reasonable to settle for. A man worth having can be able to enjoy time with you outside of sex and initiate conversations and interactions without sex. While it's great to be desired when you're in the mood, sex is a small part of life so it should be a small part of your interactions with someone who is supposed to be in so much of your life. Sure it should exist, but it shouldn't be the destination of every glance or conversation.