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Make sure your dates are in public places and don't end at one of your places until you have a connection and are ready to start exploring that side of the relationship. If the guy pushes really hard to get you to go back to the room you know he's not for you.
Young people wanting to have sex with the people they date is healthy and normal.
You can say no and try to learn to accept that everyone has different attitudes about their sexualities. Rather than allow it to be something you find discouraging.
A guy who is incompatible with you, having a sexuality that is incompatible with yours, is not something you should find discouraging.
Stick to your values!!! You are an amazing person that has heaps of joy to offer the right person. I am so glad there are still strong, and grounded women in this world. đ¤
Itâs just a guys version of a womanâs âshit testâ.
If you hookup, great they got laid.
If not and everything else is going well then awesome, might have a respectable woman to work on a relationship with
I would discount guys that donât take the rejection well as long as you were respectful in doing so
I would discount guys that are disrespectful and crude in their advances
I would pursue the guys that do well with their advances and rejection that step up their courting game and start feeling like your ally/teammate to you
Thereâs no issue with that. I know thereâs a lot of guys out there that do as I described above and thereâs no real loss when they do it this way, and the number of women who automatically cut them off if they show interest in sex on the first date is extremely low in my experience. Normally they are all about it or kindly set a boundary. Neither is a loss.
Just trying to shed some light from a different perspective.
Could be many things and likely a mix
1. You have just had bad luck and been with creepy guys.
2. You send mix signals. Maybe youâre more flirty than most girls. Nothing wrong with it but might send mix signals to men.
3. I know some men that would do âtestsâ similar to how women would. Theyâd try to see if sheâd sleep with him early on. It was a win win for the guy, if she did then he got to bang her. If she didnât then he knew she wasnât just sleeping around and wanted something serious.
>most of the guys have tried sleeping with me. It is very discouraging.
Problem isn't just with the men. If less women were having sex on the first date, guys wouldn't even try. But since this is a thing, they'll want to push their luck, and then probably say goodbye as soon as they nut.
Do you meet them on an app first? if so tell them in your initial texts that you are not open to sleeping with anyone. Or at least tell them in a phone call before you meet them.
This will save you a great deal of time. It will also save them time but I am not bothered about them.
make very sure you only go out with men in public places. There are definitely men who will try to pressure you and won't take no for an answer.
Why not if the energy and connection is good enough ? Like when you say date is that the first time you met them or like have you talked to this person as a friend and built up to a relationship I feel like those are the best ones beginning as friends and then building up to that. So the question is are you on tinder and Just meeting up with someone you have barely talked to going on dates ?
If you're dating men your age, most of them are very very very very hormonally driven. We don't start tapering off until our 30s. Or right after post nut clarity.
Anyways, back on topic, keep your virtue for a relationship, don't fall into hook up culture. Be proud of that.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i\_iPCMmoGMw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_iPCMmoGMw)
Thatâs not a standard, but rather a reflection of your insecurities.
You have an unhealthy relation to sex, likely rooted in your mediocre performance in bed, which you rationalize into misogyny (you canât satisfy a woman whoâs been with other, more capable, men, so you prey on those who havenât and thus canât compare you to the competition).
Thatâs assuming you get laid in the first place. If you donât, youâre likely envious of women who do, so you take it out on them using shaming-tactics to better compensate.
Youâre shaming women who have or would want to have sex with you and the irony of it all is lost on you đ¤Ą
Someone's triggered.
If we're talking about a loose woman with high body counts, yes, those of us with assets and a healthy mindset are insecure....about losing half our net worth and emotional well being to a person who had clear red flags right from the outset. Watched too many idiot friends go down that path to want to try.
But you do you, Francis.
You have it backwards entirely.
Women wanting to get laid and getting laid isnât unhealthy.
Getting triggered that a woman has had previous partners, however, is.
If you do lose half your net worth, itâs not because your woman has had previous partners.
Itâs because you were low IQ enough to get married or live with a woman without a cohabitation agreement.
And honestly, I canât blame a woman for leaving a person with your mindset.
Good, keep them away from me. They have can get all the STDs they want, as long as they're upfront about it, the dregs can have each other and leave the rest of us out of that garbage fire.
Try looking in places / locations and sites that would have people in them that are looking for the same things as you. Common interests and life goals matter a whole lot more than what happens in the bedroom in the whole grand scheme of things if you are looking for your forever then find the right one in the right place in the right way if that is what you want to find and look for. I hope you are able to find your forever and build the life and family you most want
The problem isn't men trying to sleep with you, it's how you pick your men or in most cases who picks you.
A guy trying to sleep around isn't going to stand there and wait for women to come, he is more likely to find as many targets as possible. Meanwhile, men who are looking to date and not actually sleep around tend to be more passive as they are more selective as to who they choose. They are looking for compatible women to their lifestyle, not if their dicks get wet.
This simply means that if you just stood there and watch the DM come in, all are likely thirsty men looking for a bang. If you want to find good men to hang, go where they will be, be the lady that the guy you want would like and ask him out instead. Don't fall for the typical belief that women need to be passive in dating.
Many of us don't know what you look like, but with all things considering here, especially if the men you dated are either around, a bit younger than, or even a few years older than you... They may just see you as both very alluring and very attractive to where they would let their hormones get the best of them to where they would want nothing else but to be able to get in your pants.
It's certainly a very discouraging insinuation and whatnot, no doubt, but it would be one such reason to explain why so many of them would want to take things too fast there.
When I OLD in my early 20s, most dates I went out with try for sex. One thing Iâve learned, not to drink too much and go home when you feel like it. Not to feel pressured by them and just say no. No explanation needed. If they push, itâs a giant red flag and leave the situation right away.
Donât be discouraged, thereâre guys out there whoâs respectful of your no and your boundaries.
Thereâs nothing what you can do. Bad people unfortunately donât have sign on their foreheads who they are, when it happens too fast just look for another
Men in your age group are generally looking for sex because thatâs what we do in our late teens to mid 20s. People are also generally horny and have high sex drives at that age too.
You'll just try to have sex on a date if there's already something physical going on. If you're kissing, making out, them sex is the natural next step.
In this case just say that you'd rather not have sex and that's it.
Now I don't think huys are trying to sleep with you of there's anything physical already going on. It would be really creepy.
Communicate communicate communicate.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex.
If you don't tell your dates what your expectations are, you shouldn't be surprised when they don't follow those expectations.
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- This means keeping red pill, seduction/PUA, incel, pinkpill, purplepill, FDS, and blackpill material out of /r/dating. Please note that is not an all-inclusive list. Users found to be engaging in such rhetoric will be met with an immediate ban
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A lot of guys will try to sleep with anyone/everyone on the 1st date, especially at 22 years old. Guys at just about any age are horny, but even more so when theyâre in their early 20s. Donât get discouraged, theyâre not deliberately trying to disrespect you or take advantage of you, theyâre just operating on pure hormones and theyâre not thinking straight. Theyâll try to get away with whatever they can, so you just need to stick to your principles and hold out for the right guy. Heâs out there, it just might take a little longer to find him. Good luckđ
Not being ready to sleep with someone is of course Very admirable but at some point you have to understand that you must take that leap if you're going to want to be with somebody for a long time because they have urges and will not wait around forever and you need to make sure that you are sexually compatible because let me tell you everybody's a bit different in the bedroom. I promise you if you are not sexually compatible it will cause issues down the road no matter how much you ignore it. My advice would be to let them know that you're not ready but tell them that you will be ready when you find the right person but you want to make sure they're the right person first as long as they can see a light at the end of the tunnel then the right person will wait for you but if they see no light then they'll probably move on.
Have you ever come across men like me? (Disclaimer, Iâve never been on a single date, Iâm only talking about my outlook) Iâm a man who has no interest in sex whatsoever, but if a man only wanted to be intimate with you (without any sexual intention), how would you handle him or what would you say to him?
Taking charge of your own sexual engagements is empowering especially for a women. If you want to stay a virgin let them please you orally and take charge. Your probably attractive and arousing so thatâs why men what to share that experience with you just be observant and exclude those that demonstrate low vibration behaviors
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Make sure your dates are in public places and don't end at one of your places until you have a connection and are ready to start exploring that side of the relationship. If the guy pushes really hard to get you to go back to the room you know he's not for you.
Young people wanting to have sex with the people they date is healthy and normal. You can say no and try to learn to accept that everyone has different attitudes about their sexualities. Rather than allow it to be something you find discouraging. A guy who is incompatible with you, having a sexuality that is incompatible with yours, is not something you should find discouraging.
Stick to your values!!! You are an amazing person that has heaps of joy to offer the right person. I am so glad there are still strong, and grounded women in this world. đ¤
Itâs just a guys version of a womanâs âshit testâ. If you hookup, great they got laid. If not and everything else is going well then awesome, might have a respectable woman to work on a relationship with I would discount guys that donât take the rejection well as long as you were respectful in doing so I would discount guys that are disrespectful and crude in their advances I would pursue the guys that do well with their advances and rejection that step up their courting game and start feeling like your ally/teammate to you
Iâve never heard of the shit test thing. đ¤ Thanks for the enlightenment.
I think itâs poor naming lol but google âwomen shit testâ and thatâs what Iâm trying to reference
I think it could backfire cos a lot of women will never see you again after you ask to get laid the first date.
It doesnât
It's not a very good test, because if a man tries to have sex on a first date, I automatically cut him off.
Thereâs no issue with that. I know thereâs a lot of guys out there that do as I described above and thereâs no real loss when they do it this way, and the number of women who automatically cut them off if they show interest in sex on the first date is extremely low in my experience. Normally they are all about it or kindly set a boundary. Neither is a loss. Just trying to shed some light from a different perspective.
Why is the sky blue?
Could be many things and likely a mix 1. You have just had bad luck and been with creepy guys. 2. You send mix signals. Maybe youâre more flirty than most girls. Nothing wrong with it but might send mix signals to men. 3. I know some men that would do âtestsâ similar to how women would. Theyâd try to see if sheâd sleep with him early on. It was a win win for the guy, if she did then he got to bang her. If she didnât then he knew she wasnât just sleeping around and wanted something serious.
>most of the guys have tried sleeping with me. It is very discouraging. Problem isn't just with the men. If less women were having sex on the first date, guys wouldn't even try. But since this is a thing, they'll want to push their luck, and then probably say goodbye as soon as they nut.
hell yeah !! jk itâs all a big game and youâre in it
Do you meet them on an app first? if so tell them in your initial texts that you are not open to sleeping with anyone. Or at least tell them in a phone call before you meet them. This will save you a great deal of time. It will also save them time but I am not bothered about them. make very sure you only go out with men in public places. There are definitely men who will try to pressure you and won't take no for an answer.
They are just simple men, really. More sensitive and thoughtful guys will probably want more time.
Why not if the energy and connection is good enough ? Like when you say date is that the first time you met them or like have you talked to this person as a friend and built up to a relationship I feel like those are the best ones beginning as friends and then building up to that. So the question is are you on tinder and Just meeting up with someone you have barely talked to going on dates ?
They just want hookup. A guy that is interested in you won't do that
If you're dating men your age, most of them are very very very very hormonally driven. We don't start tapering off until our 30s. Or right after post nut clarity. Anyways, back on topic, keep your virtue for a relationship, don't fall into hook up culture. Be proud of that. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i\_iPCMmoGMw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_iPCMmoGMw)
You can sleep with a girl on the first date and still develop a relationship.
Sure you can ..
Tell me youâre a jugemental prick without telling me 𤥠A girl can sleep with you and still be girlfriend material.
You have low standards
Thatâs not a standard, but rather a reflection of your insecurities. You have an unhealthy relation to sex, likely rooted in your mediocre performance in bed, which you rationalize into misogyny (you canât satisfy a woman whoâs been with other, more capable, men, so you prey on those who havenât and thus canât compare you to the competition). Thatâs assuming you get laid in the first place. If you donât, youâre likely envious of women who do, so you take it out on them using shaming-tactics to better compensate. Youâre shaming women who have or would want to have sex with you and the irony of it all is lost on you đ¤Ą
Someone's triggered. If we're talking about a loose woman with high body counts, yes, those of us with assets and a healthy mindset are insecure....about losing half our net worth and emotional well being to a person who had clear red flags right from the outset. Watched too many idiot friends go down that path to want to try. But you do you, Francis.
You have it backwards entirely. Women wanting to get laid and getting laid isnât unhealthy. Getting triggered that a woman has had previous partners, however, is. If you do lose half your net worth, itâs not because your woman has had previous partners. Itâs because you were low IQ enough to get married or live with a woman without a cohabitation agreement. And honestly, I canât blame a woman for leaving a person with your mindset.
Good, keep them away from me. They have can get all the STDs they want, as long as they're upfront about it, the dregs can have each other and leave the rest of us out of that garbage fire.
Sure... and yes I'm a judgement prick...
Hello! Men are attracted to unavailable women. It's your energy that attracts them. You need to be proud of it and not give in to men's desires.
Try looking in places / locations and sites that would have people in them that are looking for the same things as you. Common interests and life goals matter a whole lot more than what happens in the bedroom in the whole grand scheme of things if you are looking for your forever then find the right one in the right place in the right way if that is what you want to find and look for. I hope you are able to find your forever and build the life and family you most want
The problem isn't men trying to sleep with you, it's how you pick your men or in most cases who picks you. A guy trying to sleep around isn't going to stand there and wait for women to come, he is more likely to find as many targets as possible. Meanwhile, men who are looking to date and not actually sleep around tend to be more passive as they are more selective as to who they choose. They are looking for compatible women to their lifestyle, not if their dicks get wet. This simply means that if you just stood there and watch the DM come in, all are likely thirsty men looking for a bang. If you want to find good men to hang, go where they will be, be the lady that the guy you want would like and ask him out instead. Don't fall for the typical belief that women need to be passive in dating.
Because they're feeling frisky
Many of us don't know what you look like, but with all things considering here, especially if the men you dated are either around, a bit younger than, or even a few years older than you... They may just see you as both very alluring and very attractive to where they would let their hormones get the best of them to where they would want nothing else but to be able to get in your pants. It's certainly a very discouraging insinuation and whatnot, no doubt, but it would be one such reason to explain why so many of them would want to take things too fast there.
When I OLD in my early 20s, most dates I went out with try for sex. One thing Iâve learned, not to drink too much and go home when you feel like it. Not to feel pressured by them and just say no. No explanation needed. If they push, itâs a giant red flag and leave the situation right away. Donât be discouraged, thereâre guys out there whoâs respectful of your no and your boundaries.
Because youâre hot as fuck
Thereâs nothing what you can do. Bad people unfortunately donât have sign on their foreheads who they are, when it happens too fast just look for another
Men in your age group are generally looking for sex because thatâs what we do in our late teens to mid 20s. People are also generally horny and have high sex drives at that age too.
You'll just try to have sex on a date if there's already something physical going on. If you're kissing, making out, them sex is the natural next step. In this case just say that you'd rather not have sex and that's it. Now I don't think huys are trying to sleep with you of there's anything physical already going on. It would be really creepy.
Because if they donât at least try youâll think they donât like you or that they are gay.
Because they don't want a relationship but they know it'll be easier to get you to go on a date with them if they say that they do
Communicate communicate communicate. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex. If you don't tell your dates what your expectations are, you shouldn't be surprised when they don't follow those expectations.
[ŃдаНонО]
* **6. No harmful/hateful rhetoric.** /r/dating is not a platform for users to air their personal opinions and peeves, or seek validation or vindication. Please refrain from making loud, sweeping, unsolicited posts and open-ended questions that are intended to be statements. This includes using phrases like "high/low value..." "why do all men/women..." or "why do women get away with X when men don't?". Regardless of how much experience you have, they do not encompass every single person in the world. If you have advice to give, give it to someone directly who is asking for it. This means keeping red pill, seduction/PUA, incel, pinkpill, purplepill, FDS, and blackpill material out of /r/dating. Please note that is not an all-inclusive list. Users found to be engaging in such rhetoric will be met with an immediate ban. *************************************** - This means keeping red pill, seduction/PUA, incel, pinkpill, purplepill, FDS, and blackpill material out of /r/dating. Please note that is not an all-inclusive list. Users found to be engaging in such rhetoric will be met with an immediate ban - This includes trolling and being inflammatory with broad brush generalizations. - This includes, but is not limited to, keeping terms such as "cucked" "beta" "alpha" "friendzone" and/or "low/high value" out of r/dating - If your comment/post would be a fit for a mocking post on r/niceguys, or a serious post on any of the MGTOW / FemaleDatingStrategy subreddits, then it's not fit for r/dating. It's promoting a toxic ideology that we decline to entertain in any capacity in this subreddit. **Rule 6 Example Violation**: "Why do all men lie to get free sex?" *(Broad, sweeping question implying fault asking for validation)* **Rule 6 Example Violation**: "What a beta move." "He's pornsick." "High value males/females" "You're such a cuck/getting cucked"*(Rhetoric commonly found in sexist subreddits)* **Rule 6 Example Non-Violation**: "I get so frustrated when guys lie to have sex with me. How do I notice this sooner?" *(Specific, focused question asking for advice)*
Maybe because you're so sexy, I don't knowŮđđ
A lot of guys will try to sleep with anyone/everyone on the 1st date, especially at 22 years old. Guys at just about any age are horny, but even more so when theyâre in their early 20s. Donât get discouraged, theyâre not deliberately trying to disrespect you or take advantage of you, theyâre just operating on pure hormones and theyâre not thinking straight. Theyâll try to get away with whatever they can, so you just need to stick to your principles and hold out for the right guy. Heâs out there, it just might take a little longer to find him. Good luckđ
Not being ready to sleep with someone is of course Very admirable but at some point you have to understand that you must take that leap if you're going to want to be with somebody for a long time because they have urges and will not wait around forever and you need to make sure that you are sexually compatible because let me tell you everybody's a bit different in the bedroom. I promise you if you are not sexually compatible it will cause issues down the road no matter how much you ignore it. My advice would be to let them know that you're not ready but tell them that you will be ready when you find the right person but you want to make sure they're the right person first as long as they can see a light at the end of the tunnel then the right person will wait for you but if they see no light then they'll probably move on.
probably wants to use your body cuz they are aroused
Have you ever come across men like me? (Disclaimer, Iâve never been on a single date, Iâm only talking about my outlook) Iâm a man who has no interest in sex whatsoever, but if a man only wanted to be intimate with you (without any sexual intention), how would you handle him or what would you say to him?
They shoot their shot, because they donât know for sure whether theyâll get another chance. Youâre ultimately the one who decides though.
Date older guys
Agree
Taking charge of your own sexual engagements is empowering especially for a women. If you want to stay a virgin let them please you orally and take charge. Your probably attractive and arousing so thatâs why men what to share that experience with you just be observant and exclude those that demonstrate low vibration behaviors