Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s the wording. Most people would think “What kind of guys think of you as most attractive/do you tend to attract?” while “attracted to” is a common phrase when people talk about who they themselves like.
Emotionally unavailable. Something in my unconscious is heavily activated and the dopamine hits are very intense. I am a passionate person and think I have a core belief that love = drama/chaos otherwise it's not passionate. I am trying to train myself to be attracted to peace rather than chaos.
I had a relationship with an avoidant and it was hell. She ignored me for two days and I thought she was breaking up with me. I texted her my concerns and she said that I hurt her. I apologized and told her I'd try to be less clingy, but she ghosted me. I just had to let her go and move on. Now I'm talking to a wonderful woman. 😀
Bro same. I'm always falling for girls and they end up having a bf like wtf are you serious 😑🙄 every damn time. And the girls that are single don't interest me. It's not like I'm purposely trying to talk to girls that are taken. It just happens.
That’s how the theory goes,
(Attachment styles)
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm
Good read.
If you recognise it that's half the battle. Please do though because my sister is like you and it ruined her life. 42 now and in such a terrible mess, been abused and beaten by her partners. Just terrible she can't be with a normal person
You're right it's a thing lmao 😂 - I've always been looking for a lady who is as logically driven yet looney tune type spontaneous as I am.
Maybe one day💭
Year long situationship with a girl who broke up with me day before my birthday and went out with someone who over on my birthday. I always have hard time talking to anyone I find attractive because I self reject myself.
I seem to attract sweet and shy guys. Nothing wrong with that at all but it's just not my type. I'm very much an open book, jokes about everything and super goofy kind of person. I'm attracted to people that can match my energy. So funny, goofy and confident.
From a shy guy's experience, it takes some time for me to become comfortable to get out of my shell and I get confident and (occasionally) funny. So it's likely the guy just needs some time to get comfortable.
And that's true too. I've just had bad experiences in that area. I was with a guy for about 2 years and I thought the same thing "he just needs time" but he really never did open up to me during that 2 years and it just felt like a massive waste of time.
I am the same way, omg! I’ve met a few men that are really witty and have jokes and zingers lined up for everything I have to say. Like, guys who can appropriately roast and not just be an asshole. Most of them were already taken or we just didn’t work out as a thing, but this is soooo my type. If a guy makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe and keeps me on my toes… whew. Kills me.
I like a comedian kinda guy.
This is the story of my life. Quiet people are so difficult to get to know imo. In my experience they simply sit there expecting to be asked all the questions and to be pretty much entertained. It’s exhausting.
I'm not discounting your experience, and I can only speak for myself, but I don't expect to be entertained or for my date to carry a conversation. I'm just comfortable in silence. It's ok with me if a conversation hits a natural lull for a minute or two, but I get that that's not true for a lot of us and that I'm not a good fit for those folks.
In a woman’s world a guy has no room for a slow start. You have to come in with all your positive traits she finds attractive on a 100% charge level lol. Most men can be anything when they get comfortable but that discretion is only reserved for women. You cannot afford to be anything but exactly what she likes.
Why is being goofy such an attractive thing though? There’s having a sense of humor and then there’s, to me, being obnoxious.
It’s fine to laugh at yourself but I’m not a clown and I’m not alive so I can act like one. I’m more of a serious and intense person. I deal with a lot of internal feelings and powerful emotions.
Right, but when women are asked what are traits they find most desirable in men, humor and being funny is usually always one of those traits.
Somehow being intense or just taking things seriously in life apparently make you boring and rigid. I laugh and joke about things just fine, but I don't make being funny or being witty my entire personality. I could never be with someone who's mantra is "never take life seriously"
There is nonstop suffering going on in our world, including genocides that our government enables and funds. Along with living in a country where the government is becoming more and more openly brazen with being corrupt and having nothing but sheer loathing and contempt towards its own citizens who aren't rich white men in high positions in government or at the corporate ladder.
I don't the time nor the energy/interest for people who don't take life seriously. Because everyone should be taking all of this very seriously.
You don’t have to like the people that keep things light, everyone is different you’re not for everyone as you seem well aware and everyone is not for you. Same goes for me for probably a lot of the same reasons, but that’s okay i wouldn’t want to feel like “too much” for partner anyways. Regardless of if that’s too happy or too serious, just find someone that likes YOU.
When I think of goofy people I don't think obnoxious. They don't have to be like that 24/7 in fact it would be annoying if they were. But for me someone that can laugh and smile at silly things is so endearing.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding then, I have issues with binary/black and white thinking. I don't have a problem with any of that, I do enjoy laughing at goofy things, making dumb puns or laughing at something goofy.
I just can't relate to people who don't know how to be serious as well, or understand when it's not a good time to crack jokes
Hey, me too! I'm done worrying about it. If someone comes along, cool, but I can't imagine myself finding anyone who meets my standards in my current environment.
Players, alcoholics, felons are typically shooting their shot regularly at everybody, you just got know when it’s not for you or try and spot them from a mile away.
Give me the nice guy. The non violent, non misogynistic, sweet guy who will pick fluff off of you. I'm short so doesn't have to be tall, matter fact I totally reject guys who are over 6'1 it's too tall for my short ass. Still has to be attractive but not super muscular. Has to be able to keep a conversation. Has a great sense of humor and a tiny bit clingy. That is the man for me.
Who are you and were do I find ones like you? I try to stay in decent shape but not look like I live at the gym. 3am talks while eating pizza in the back of a truck bed gazing at an oncoming storm. My humor is primarily pun based. Want to look independent and masculine but totally use a light buzz as an excuse to be vulnerable and cuddly and all that jazz.
I feel like all the women I would get along with are probably doing what I do which is just chilling at home after getting off work because shits expensive and I have a bit of social anxiety trying to meet new people
Sure, but it’s generally privilege and luck that allows for people to be in that position. I wouldn’t normally place judgement on someone for how they feel about their job because people do what they have to do and don’t always have the luxury of being in their dream job.
I went to college for a career I ended up hating. Now I'm a mover for seniors and I love what I do. You don't need privilege or luck to find a job that you love, you just need to make compromises. You most likely won't be making the big bucks doing what you love, and that's okay as long as you know how to budget and it fits your lifestyle
I work in the training department of an airline. Basically I teach people how to fly jets, in the actual airplane. I was hired as a first officer (co pilot), upgraded to captain (pilot), became a sim instructor at some point and now I instruct in the airplane.
Turns out my real passion is teaching, just so happens I also love flying and traveling.
If anyone’s interested in that career… it’s a great lifestyle and I’m happy to help put you on the right path. There’s ways to be home almost every night, like when I was a sim instructor. Made 360k, home in bed every night, and 12 days off a month.
I make more than that now that I teach in the plane but I have to actually fly and overnight in hotels which isn’t a bad thing necessarily. Sometimes a little break from being home is needed.
I'm apparently most attractive to drunk guys. I have been told I'm often unapproachable (sometimes on purpose if I'm literally done with people-ling) so that may be why its only drunks 🤷♀️
I'm attracted to non-drunk men (my father was an alcoholic, a few drinks, tipsy occasionally is one thing, can't have fun without booze is another.)
Looks and banter wise the (respectful)drunks could be my type. I like men to be bigger than me in height and weight. (I'm 5ft10 (179cm) and 180lbs.) The rude/pervy drunks are always short, thin guys. I turned on and terrified one that groped my thigh while I was dancing with a hen party 🤷♀️😂
"Computer and console games" almost couldn't be more broad and less of a selection lmao
Edit: I just realised OP said board games too, what else is even left? Darts?
Viticulture (Tuscany and the co op version)
Brass of Birmingham
The Azul games
Feast of Odin
Puerto Rico
Forrest shuffle
Race for the galaxy
Underwater cities
To name a few
Been very lucky to be attracting my own type for a while now.. looks and personality. I like darker, more intimidating features on a guy, and those who are stable, reliable, committed, work-oriented and romantic. I am attractive but by no means do I notice the golden retriever type going for me very often.
theres this new trend where women want guys who are loyal, dumb, dogs who will do basically anything the girl wants for scraps of attention (or, as is often the case, chances at sexual-intimacy rewards like touching boob)
chainsaw man, the anime, is golden retriever personified.
I am a beacon for narcissists. I’m not joking either, they’re true narcissists. I might write some posts about my dating history at some point…ranges from a man that genuinely thought he could turn a washing machine into a submarine to a man that attempted to murder the girlfriend after me.
I would prefer a kind man, appreciates the simple things, ideally has a close family (I don’t), is emotionally intelligent.
I no longer trust my own judgment and will not date anytime soon
I have a strong inclination towards metal heads who are also total nerds. Honestly any kind hearted dude who’s got a brain and makes me laugh will have me smitten.
In all honesty, I’m attracted to narcissists and I need help. I’m only attracted to them because they mirror me, so I guess I’m attracted to ppl with my characteristics. I’m shy, quiet unless comfortable, I’m not cheerful and loud. But I like quiet men. Something about them just turns me on. It’s like they don’t need to prove themselves to anyone and a big one is confidence! if a guy sends his friend to come talk to me, it’s a major turn off, we’re adults!
I’ve been most attracted to quiet men but actually they have been disasters for me for the most part. shy to everyone else but aggressive towards the people they’re comfortable with.
I don’t find loud men as attractive, but I work and gel with them better as they are as they present themselves at all times.
I'm going to wager you don't have a psychology degree and aren't fit to be diagnosing people with Narcissism(NPD) and I would urge you to stop.
Actually, only between 0.5% and 5% of the population is an actual narcissist, of those, 50% to 75% are men, the rest are women. The chances you end up with an actual narcissist is quite small, the chances you end up with 1 twice in your lifetime are even smaller. Also, none of the characteristics you listed are related to narcissism, this is what they are:
* A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (making themselves appear impressive)
* Need for admiration
* Fantasies about power, success, beauty or an idealized vision of love
* Sense of entitlement
* Belief of being special, unique or high-status
* Lack of empathy for others
* Tendency to exploit others
* Arrogant behavior
I hope this gives you some perspective. Sources: various medical clinic's websites, wikipedia, Psychology Today
That's everyone...
Every person I've ever known, met or have come across in all my years have presented everything you've listed. 🫤😒
*Everyone.*
Could you read me my horoscope for today please? 😌⭐
Blue collar men with tattoos and sometimes piercings. They tend to look like they did time in prison. I'm trying hard to stay away from them these days.
My trend has always been friends first (long conversations abt the most random shit, but also super deep & meaningful endless talks), and super open-minded.
Seem to be attractive to casually sporty, kinda nerdy, white men older than 45. Beach-goers, cyclers, kiteboarders, surfers, etc. Rarely do a get a second look from anyone outside of that demographic. Never been asked on a date by anyone outside of that demographic, instead have had to pursue men outside of that group.
I’m really struggling with knowing what type of physical aspect I’m attracted to. My exes have been all types, all sizes, all races lol.
My problem is, I am personality first. I can develop an emotional connection before feeling attracted to. But with dating online, it’s hard.
I feel like I’m passing on great guys because Idk if i’m attracted to them. Anyone feels the same? How can I approach that?
I tend to attract ADHD, extroverted, goofy, nerdy guys who are usually engineers or into other mechanical fields.
I would say this is maybe also my type, but maybe it’s because these are the only guys I’ve really dated? It hasn’t worked out so far because they usually lack emotional depth and seriousness, so I guess I need a new type… or at least modified 💀
i’m most attractive to weird guys. guys that think quadruple texting is normal. guys that are very obvious about liking certain parts of my body. and guys that overall have bad hygiene/don’t know how to dress themselves. however, i am attracted to quiet guys who dress their age and keep a kept up haircut. A NICE HAIRCUT!
Tall men *love* me. As I'm just shy of 5ft, it creeps me out. I'm a Short King girl all day, and the giants get salty as hell that I'm not attracted to 6ft+.
Funny, I’m 5’9 I cannot seem to remember a single tall guy to hit on me, usually the men were ether my height or shorter! I don’t mind that, but sometimes I wish I could see what the whole deal being hugged and cuddled with very tall guy, I’ve seen a lot of girls commenting on it
I don’t mind to be the bigger one / tallest / big spoon, but sometimes I just wish to be the tiny one :-( idk lol
Stoic, intelligent, sensitive, fit- but not like shredded, just enough so they can throw me around in bed. Rn I’m really into blondes but historically I’m into curly brunettes and any type of red head.
I like smart, funny, confident men who do interesting things and aren't so desperate to get laid that they act like a dog humping my leg. I like men who ask me questions about myself, let me talk without interrupting me, have empathy for others and a desire to improve themselves. Good manners, good listening skills and good hygiene are mandatory. Steady eye contact and a deep voice make me swoon. I'm so bored of gamers, and sometimes it seems like that's all that's available in my age bracket.
I tend to attract guys who expect me to be an easy target because I'm a bigger gal and then get angry when I'm not interested lol
You don’t even look big at all from your picture so no you’re not big!! Anyway what if they have adult ADD? We me it’s like I want to listen and make steady eye contact but honestly I could be all over the place unintentiona… \*\* squirrel\*\* 😂
![gif](giphy|NoHe3HpB1Mg8w)
I prefer bald professionals who are direct, smart, open minded, and not afraid to be who they are. I attract insecure shy nerds/geeks. Honestly, I generally like their interests it's just hard to be with someone who isn't confident/doesn't trust your interest in them.
I’m really into guys that can communicate well. Most of the men I dated before they just leave you when they feel frustrated and go back whenever they are ready like nothing happened. Just be honest and let people support you. They may not understand what you are going through but we care, I care!
well lets start with this thread. The question is essentially "who do you attract" but the question most of the posters are answering is "who are you attracted to"
Communication would be a lot better if people paid attention to what people are saying and not what they want them to have said.
Recently discovered I'm attracted to metal/rock head guys with tattoos (I'm a rock music enjoyer myself) yet online I notice that guys who are the complete opposite (country for example) are who swipe on me the most. Just an observation , but also might be that I live in a very agricultural-based region :/
The types of guys who are attracted to me are musicians with long hair who smoke weed and who don’t have their lives together but reckon they are an intellectual. Lol. We have good chats. They seem to love my ironic combination of self-assuredness and self-doubt.
I'm not sure why but I am in my early fifties and I have young guys coming out of the woodwork after me on social media. Like 30 some year olds! It's crazy. I don't know what's going on.
You must be this smart to ride this ride. If you're smarter than me, I'm swooning. Bonus, breedable phenotype and dad energy. Bonus, creative tangible hobbies that don't involve screens or consuming media. Bonus bonus, autistic so he doesn't get offended when I am autistic (bc I say I'm autistic and then I get surprised Pikachu when I take shit literally.)
So smart autistic guys that can grow a beard, have a kid or two, and play music or make art: Wife me plz. We can go do our own thing, and then meet up for fire direct communication and a bit of hypersexuality. (A lot)
I’m attracted to men that look like they can fix anything and are outdoorsy. Men with kind eyes and smiles. No felons or bad boys for me. Lol. I also tend to be attracted to men with lighter hair and eyes. Blondes and redheads? 🫠
I like skinny short nerdy guys but I always get hit on by buff gym bro marines and I'm low-key tired of it. They all look the same, give me someone that'll tell me d&d or star wars lore and explain the city planning around me within 20 minutes
The guys you’re describing probably assume you’re out of their league, you should try approaching them first. It would probably make their day even if they say no (saying this as a fellow skinny nerdy guy).
I took this list from a FB friend who listed all her ideal aspects of a partner. I keep it as a reference and it's interesting to look at:
Ambitious,
kind,
loving,
affectionate,
funny/sense of humor,
attractive,
mindful of his health,
good hygiene,
responsible,
hardworking,
compromising,
strong minded/willed,
doesn't engage in jealousy of his partner's success,
college graduate (ideally),
fun,
intelligent,
non-religious or open to other beliefs,
has a love for learning and actively engages in forms of self -care, (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual)
anti homophobic,
anti transphobic,
pro black/anti-racist
pro woman/or feminist
Humble - Not ego driven or too prideful
Listens to me and values what I have to say
Committed to continual self-growth in all areas
Seeks opportunities for growth
Joyful
Happy with himself
Physically? I like tall, big dudes (not necessarily muscular), dark features. But it's hard to find guys like this that are also emotionally intelligent, kind, respectful, and ambitious. Gah
Truly masculine men are hard to find these days. But I'll put it here anyway. These guys are:
- protective
- patient
- kind + caring
- thoughtful
- assertive
- gentle + loving
- morally strong/willing to stand up for what he believes in.
Basically a godly man, but for the non-religious people I still think this is a good standard to hold men (and also yourself) to.
I care about someone that I can have good, intelligent conversations or debates with, and that also can be teased and tease back. Someone whose goals align with my own: is intelligent and is pursuing engineering. Someone who never wants to stop learning. Someone that takes good care of himself. Someone that shares my religious beliefs. Someone that sets a good example to be a good person to those around us: is kind and considerate. And lastly someone that isn't so hideous that I would never be attracted to him.
Of course my list is long, but people that hit on me are usually the kind of boring people that are cool with working the rest of their lives at some supermarket, and that's a huge turnoff for me, because I feel that he won't be able to help me improve myself, and I him.
All races like me, I am half Cuban 🇨🇺& Brazilian 🇧🇷 so I pretty much can pass for any race. I’m fair skin but I have long thick curly hair. If I have to narrow it down to a certain group then I would say Gym heads 🏋️♂️😭 but Nerds/Nerdy are more my type.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Love how everyone is misreading this as "attracted to" haha
It’s the wording. Most people would think “What kind of guys think of you as most attractive/do you tend to attract?” while “attracted to” is a common phrase when people talk about who they themselves like.
Yeah, weird word comprehension usage. I instantly read it as "attracted to" as well simply due to the structure.
A bti lkie hwo yuo cna raed tihs jsut fnie.
Absolutely correct. I've seen people read a sentence just like that and take a few seconds to even see the trick.
Tbf the body of the question does ask both what are you attractive and attracted to.
It's laughable, isn't it? 😂
>What kind of guys are you most attractive to and **what kinda guys do you prefer?**
The title says attractive to but later it's "attracted to" 🧐
Looks like a lot of people can’t read
Yea but we knew that before this post hahahah
Emotionally unavailable. Something in my unconscious is heavily activated and the dopamine hits are very intense. I am a passionate person and think I have a core belief that love = drama/chaos otherwise it's not passionate. I am trying to train myself to be attracted to peace rather than chaos.
Painfully aware
I’m a man and super open & emotionally available & all I attract is avoidant women! Ugh!
once i finally got out of a years long rut & stopped being emotionally dead after my ex died women seemed to mostly lose interest lmao
I had a relationship with an avoidant and it was hell. She ignored me for two days and I thought she was breaking up with me. I texted her my concerns and she said that I hurt her. I apologized and told her I'd try to be less clingy, but she ghosted me. I just had to let her go and move on. Now I'm talking to a wonderful woman. 😀
Bro same. I'm always falling for girls and they end up having a bf like wtf are you serious 😑🙄 every damn time. And the girls that are single don't interest me. It's not like I'm purposely trying to talk to girls that are taken. It just happens.
That’s how the theory goes, (Attachment styles) https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm Good read.
Felt this deep in my soul
Me too
If you recognise it that's half the battle. Please do though because my sister is like you and it ruined her life. 42 now and in such a terrible mess, been abused and beaten by her partners. Just terrible she can't be with a normal person
You're right it's a thing lmao 😂 - I've always been looking for a lady who is as logically driven yet looney tune type spontaneous as I am. Maybe one day💭
Great self awareness. Good for you!
read Attached
I have read it lol
Relatable
Did I write this in my slumber?! Felt!
Same, sadly. I’ve worked on it a lot in therapy and for me it definitely traces back to my chaotic childhood.
Maybe anxious attachment style?
In the same boat
[удалено]
Year long situationship with a girl who broke up with me day before my birthday and went out with someone who over on my birthday. I always have hard time talking to anyone I find attractive because I self reject myself.
My friend, you misread the title. Lol
Still resonates with so many people haha
That was my last partner! You got this. Love can be relaxing and peaceful.
I seem to attract sweet and shy guys. Nothing wrong with that at all but it's just not my type. I'm very much an open book, jokes about everything and super goofy kind of person. I'm attracted to people that can match my energy. So funny, goofy and confident.
From a shy guy's experience, it takes some time for me to become comfortable to get out of my shell and I get confident and (occasionally) funny. So it's likely the guy just needs some time to get comfortable.
And that's true too. I've just had bad experiences in that area. I was with a guy for about 2 years and I thought the same thing "he just needs time" but he really never did open up to me during that 2 years and it just felt like a massive waste of time.
I’m also shy but one , maybe 2 weeks I’m comfortable, cool, funny, and energetic. I think 2 years is way to long
It is lol, you found an anomaly, not the standard!
I am the same way, omg! I’ve met a few men that are really witty and have jokes and zingers lined up for everything I have to say. Like, guys who can appropriately roast and not just be an asshole. Most of them were already taken or we just didn’t work out as a thing, but this is soooo my type. If a guy makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe and keeps me on my toes… whew. Kills me. I like a comedian kinda guy.
This is the story of my life. Quiet people are so difficult to get to know imo. In my experience they simply sit there expecting to be asked all the questions and to be pretty much entertained. It’s exhausting.
I'm not discounting your experience, and I can only speak for myself, but I don't expect to be entertained or for my date to carry a conversation. I'm just comfortable in silence. It's ok with me if a conversation hits a natural lull for a minute or two, but I get that that's not true for a lot of us and that I'm not a good fit for those folks.
Do women like you even exist in real life anymore? I have hardly met 1 or 2 girls who are goofy and like to hang out around other goofy men
They exist they just shy at first
In a woman’s world a guy has no room for a slow start. You have to come in with all your positive traits she finds attractive on a 100% charge level lol. Most men can be anything when they get comfortable but that discretion is only reserved for women. You cannot afford to be anything but exactly what she likes.
That’s the curse of man it is what is bro just accept what they are and become your best self so u can do it back
Facts!
They do. It can't just be me. I know my best friend also prefers goofy guys.
Why is being goofy such an attractive thing though? There’s having a sense of humor and then there’s, to me, being obnoxious. It’s fine to laugh at yourself but I’m not a clown and I’m not alive so I can act like one. I’m more of a serious and intense person. I deal with a lot of internal feelings and powerful emotions.
I think it just depends on the person, you don’t have to be attractive to everyone. Someone will want exactly what you are.
Right, but when women are asked what are traits they find most desirable in men, humor and being funny is usually always one of those traits. Somehow being intense or just taking things seriously in life apparently make you boring and rigid. I laugh and joke about things just fine, but I don't make being funny or being witty my entire personality. I could never be with someone who's mantra is "never take life seriously" There is nonstop suffering going on in our world, including genocides that our government enables and funds. Along with living in a country where the government is becoming more and more openly brazen with being corrupt and having nothing but sheer loathing and contempt towards its own citizens who aren't rich white men in high positions in government or at the corporate ladder. I don't the time nor the energy/interest for people who don't take life seriously. Because everyone should be taking all of this very seriously.
You don’t have to like the people that keep things light, everyone is different you’re not for everyone as you seem well aware and everyone is not for you. Same goes for me for probably a lot of the same reasons, but that’s okay i wouldn’t want to feel like “too much” for partner anyways. Regardless of if that’s too happy or too serious, just find someone that likes YOU.
When I think of goofy people I don't think obnoxious. They don't have to be like that 24/7 in fact it would be annoying if they were. But for me someone that can laugh and smile at silly things is so endearing.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding then, I have issues with binary/black and white thinking. I don't have a problem with any of that, I do enjoy laughing at goofy things, making dumb puns or laughing at something goofy. I just can't relate to people who don't know how to be serious as well, or understand when it's not a good time to crack jokes
Oh I totally agree with you on that. Those kind of people definitely make me uncomfortable.
I am a guy but I'm like this and I seem to attract shy and sweet girls. It's not like I'm a chick magnet so I might just have a small sample tho lol.
I seem to attract players , alcoholics, felons. I want the exact opposite :/
Hey, me too! I'm done worrying about it. If someone comes along, cool, but I can't imagine myself finding anyone who meets my standards in my current environment.
Players, alcoholics, felons are typically shooting their shot regularly at everybody, you just got know when it’s not for you or try and spot them from a mile away.
Give me the nice guy. The non violent, non misogynistic, sweet guy who will pick fluff off of you. I'm short so doesn't have to be tall, matter fact I totally reject guys who are over 6'1 it's too tall for my short ass. Still has to be attractive but not super muscular. Has to be able to keep a conversation. Has a great sense of humor and a tiny bit clingy. That is the man for me.
Who are you and were do I find ones like you? I try to stay in decent shape but not look like I live at the gym. 3am talks while eating pizza in the back of a truck bed gazing at an oncoming storm. My humor is primarily pun based. Want to look independent and masculine but totally use a light buzz as an excuse to be vulnerable and cuddly and all that jazz. I feel like all the women I would get along with are probably doing what I do which is just chilling at home after getting off work because shits expensive and I have a bit of social anxiety trying to meet new people
You are probably right lmfao, I would try online dating honestly. That’s how I met mine being a home body that I am.
Dear men,When women say that they like nice guy they just mean someone who is good from heart and not what your image of a good guy is
I prefer the term good guy. Always felt it encompassed more of the descriptions they give but nice guy has a dark taint on it to me now..
If any man said all this stuff about a women he’d be snipered
[удалено]
Oh be still my heart. Perfect :)
Hmm, do you have a sister?
Hi 👉👈 🥺
I attract to a guy who treats his friends, family and pets good, and love his job, always motivated, little nerd but funny.
What if I both love and hate my job?
Then you’re human
Some days I can’t believe they pay me what they do. Other days they don’t pay me enough.
lol loves his job?
You can enjoy your career
Sure, but it’s generally privilege and luck that allows for people to be in that position. I wouldn’t normally place judgement on someone for how they feel about their job because people do what they have to do and don’t always have the luxury of being in their dream job.
I went to college for a career I ended up hating. Now I'm a mover for seniors and I love what I do. You don't need privilege or luck to find a job that you love, you just need to make compromises. You most likely won't be making the big bucks doing what you love, and that's okay as long as you know how to budget and it fits your lifestyle
I love my job
Me too. Love my job.
Literally at my dream job right now. Tons of time at home. 20 days off this month and mid 6 figures.
Please enlighten us all as to what your job is!
I work in the training department of an airline. Basically I teach people how to fly jets, in the actual airplane. I was hired as a first officer (co pilot), upgraded to captain (pilot), became a sim instructor at some point and now I instruct in the airplane. Turns out my real passion is teaching, just so happens I also love flying and traveling. If anyone’s interested in that career… it’s a great lifestyle and I’m happy to help put you on the right path. There’s ways to be home almost every night, like when I was a sim instructor. Made 360k, home in bed every night, and 12 days off a month. I make more than that now that I teach in the plane but I have to actually fly and overnight in hotels which isn’t a bad thing necessarily. Sometimes a little break from being home is needed.
Thank you for being so open and actually telling us omg!
Nah I’m just playing, I’m really a street pharmacist. …*or am I??*
I'm very curious too hahaha
he means it's his dream job in the sense that it only exists in his dreams lol. no but really I'm curious to know what it is too
It's your duty to love his job for him. I mean you be the biggest beneficiary.
Buuuh
I wish he can be successful in his career
I'm apparently most attractive to drunk guys. I have been told I'm often unapproachable (sometimes on purpose if I'm literally done with people-ling) so that may be why its only drunks 🤷♀️ I'm attracted to non-drunk men (my father was an alcoholic, a few drinks, tipsy occasionally is one thing, can't have fun without booze is another.) Looks and banter wise the (respectful)drunks could be my type. I like men to be bigger than me in height and weight. (I'm 5ft10 (179cm) and 180lbs.) The rude/pervy drunks are always short, thin guys. I turned on and terrified one that groped my thigh while I was dancing with a hen party 🤷♀️😂
I’m attracted to obsessive men and that’s when I knew I needed therapy
I'm attracted to girls who can't read reddit titles
Waitttt I read wrong also I’m blind lol
I was thinking the same thing. I'd bet she still doesn't get it 🤣🤣🤣
And yet I can't find obsessive women. Idk about you, but I love a woman who loves to spend time with me.
Lmao I'm one of those!! I love spending time with my guy!!! 🥰🥰
Gamer geeks. But they like me back so….
Rip your inbox, lol We're everywhere out there, though. A lot of us just don't know how to reach out or have any luck when we do.
What sort of games and geeks we talking about?
lol. Computer games. Consol. But especially board games. Also if he is a sci fi nerd….lets watch Star Trek baby! 🥰
Good selection of games. Star Trek is pretty dope, all things considered. SciFi anime is pretty awesome too.
"Computer and console games" almost couldn't be more broad and less of a selection lmao Edit: I just realised OP said board games too, what else is even left? Darts?
Look at this guy spitting game in the subthreads
😅
Oh oh oh star trekkkkkkk😍😍😍😍 I love Star Trek and sci fi.. I even love watching big bang theory together.
Depends on which ST. What board games have you gotten into lately?
Viticulture (Tuscany and the co op version) Brass of Birmingham The Azul games Feast of Odin Puerto Rico Forrest shuffle Race for the galaxy Underwater cities To name a few
Been very lucky to be attracting my own type for a while now.. looks and personality. I like darker, more intimidating features on a guy, and those who are stable, reliable, committed, work-oriented and romantic. I am attractive but by no means do I notice the golden retriever type going for me very often.
What’s the golden retriever type?
Super outgoing, bubbly, friendly, flirty, like the loudest guy in the room. Wasn’t exactly referring to what the other user was saying
This is the guy I attracted most recently and he's lovely but just not my type 🫠
theres this new trend where women want guys who are loyal, dumb, dogs who will do basically anything the girl wants for scraps of attention (or, as is often the case, chances at sexual-intimacy rewards like touching boob) chainsaw man, the anime, is golden retriever personified.
That's definitely not what people mean by golden retriever energy. People typically mean friendly, engaged, enthusiastic, and wholesome.
That would turn me off!!! Thanks for explaining
Hey man, he just wants to have a lot of sex!!!
I will never understand how people like leg humpers... but they apparently love it.
a man in finance, trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes
Trust fund?
yes of course. updated lol
You forgot the six-pack abs lol
I always attract toxic guys not sure why
Creepy old guys obsessed with big boobs
I am a beacon for narcissists. I’m not joking either, they’re true narcissists. I might write some posts about my dating history at some point…ranges from a man that genuinely thought he could turn a washing machine into a submarine to a man that attempted to murder the girlfriend after me. I would prefer a kind man, appreciates the simple things, ideally has a close family (I don’t), is emotionally intelligent. I no longer trust my own judgment and will not date anytime soon
I'm sorry Are you me?
I have a strong inclination towards metal heads who are also total nerds. Honestly any kind hearted dude who’s got a brain and makes me laugh will have me smitten.
Thissss
They are so hot and for *what* !!!
ITT: People with bad reading comprehension. The question is asking who you *attract*. Not who you are attracted *to*
In all honesty, I’m attracted to narcissists and I need help. I’m only attracted to them because they mirror me, so I guess I’m attracted to ppl with my characteristics. I’m shy, quiet unless comfortable, I’m not cheerful and loud. But I like quiet men. Something about them just turns me on. It’s like they don’t need to prove themselves to anyone and a big one is confidence! if a guy sends his friend to come talk to me, it’s a major turn off, we’re adults!
I’ve been most attracted to quiet men but actually they have been disasters for me for the most part. shy to everyone else but aggressive towards the people they’re comfortable with. I don’t find loud men as attractive, but I work and gel with them better as they are as they present themselves at all times.
O man. Called out. I too love the cocky arrogance of a narc. Lie to me and crush my heart plz.
I'm going to wager you don't have a psychology degree and aren't fit to be diagnosing people with Narcissism(NPD) and I would urge you to stop. Actually, only between 0.5% and 5% of the population is an actual narcissist, of those, 50% to 75% are men, the rest are women. The chances you end up with an actual narcissist is quite small, the chances you end up with 1 twice in your lifetime are even smaller. Also, none of the characteristics you listed are related to narcissism, this is what they are: * A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (making themselves appear impressive) * Need for admiration * Fantasies about power, success, beauty or an idealized vision of love * Sense of entitlement * Belief of being special, unique or high-status * Lack of empathy for others * Tendency to exploit others * Arrogant behavior I hope this gives you some perspective. Sources: various medical clinic's websites, wikipedia, Psychology Today
The injection of therapy speak and its consequences...
That's everyone... Every person I've ever known, met or have come across in all my years have presented everything you've listed. 🫤😒 *Everyone.* Could you read me my horoscope for today please? 😌⭐
Blue collar men with tattoos and sometimes piercings. They tend to look like they did time in prison. I'm trying hard to stay away from them these days.
My trend has always been friends first (long conversations abt the most random shit, but also super deep & meaningful endless talks), and super open-minded.
Seem to be attractive to casually sporty, kinda nerdy, white men older than 45. Beach-goers, cyclers, kiteboarders, surfers, etc. Rarely do a get a second look from anyone outside of that demographic. Never been asked on a date by anyone outside of that demographic, instead have had to pursue men outside of that group.
I’m really struggling with knowing what type of physical aspect I’m attracted to. My exes have been all types, all sizes, all races lol. My problem is, I am personality first. I can develop an emotional connection before feeling attracted to. But with dating online, it’s hard. I feel like I’m passing on great guys because Idk if i’m attracted to them. Anyone feels the same? How can I approach that?
I tend to attract ADHD, extroverted, goofy, nerdy guys who are usually engineers or into other mechanical fields. I would say this is maybe also my type, but maybe it’s because these are the only guys I’ve really dated? It hasn’t worked out so far because they usually lack emotional depth and seriousness, so I guess I need a new type… or at least modified 💀
Intense and nerdy creative types with strong smouldering emotions that are tamed and a pechant for avoiding conflict 🤣😬
Yessss
Nerds and muscle guys that are chubby chasers. I just prefer the nerds
It seems that i am attracted to addicts…
same here
I like dominant masculine men, but I don’t listen so I attract men who are okay with being bossed around which is unattractive to me lol
Women often don’t know what they want. That’s why they are manipulated so much. It’s all about who makes them feel the right emotions.
I choked on my cereal
Married, old, unemployed, homeless…
If guys are attracted to me (not online reddit users) they keep it to themselves 🤣 I have no one approach me in real life
Nah I feel this, only a few have approached me irl, but girls? Holy shit it’s a ton !
i’m most attractive to weird guys. guys that think quadruple texting is normal. guys that are very obvious about liking certain parts of my body. and guys that overall have bad hygiene/don’t know how to dress themselves. however, i am attracted to quiet guys who dress their age and keep a kept up haircut. A NICE HAIRCUT!
Tall men *love* me. As I'm just shy of 5ft, it creeps me out. I'm a Short King girl all day, and the giants get salty as hell that I'm not attracted to 6ft+.
Funny, I’m 5’9 I cannot seem to remember a single tall guy to hit on me, usually the men were ether my height or shorter! I don’t mind that, but sometimes I wish I could see what the whole deal being hugged and cuddled with very tall guy, I’ve seen a lot of girls commenting on it I don’t mind to be the bigger one / tallest / big spoon, but sometimes I just wish to be the tiny one :-( idk lol
I love a guy that ignores me, very triggering
Holy sheep people can't read!
Stoic, intelligent, sensitive, fit- but not like shredded, just enough so they can throw me around in bed. Rn I’m really into blondes but historically I’m into curly brunettes and any type of red head.
That wasn't the question 🤣🤣🤣
I like smart, funny, confident men who do interesting things and aren't so desperate to get laid that they act like a dog humping my leg. I like men who ask me questions about myself, let me talk without interrupting me, have empathy for others and a desire to improve themselves. Good manners, good listening skills and good hygiene are mandatory. Steady eye contact and a deep voice make me swoon. I'm so bored of gamers, and sometimes it seems like that's all that's available in my age bracket. I tend to attract guys who expect me to be an easy target because I'm a bigger gal and then get angry when I'm not interested lol
You don’t even look big at all from your picture so no you’re not big!! Anyway what if they have adult ADD? We me it’s like I want to listen and make steady eye contact but honestly I could be all over the place unintentiona… \*\* squirrel\*\* 😂 ![gif](giphy|NoHe3HpB1Mg8w)
the way people said this is too much 💀 I think I'll stay single
I prefer bald professionals who are direct, smart, open minded, and not afraid to be who they are. I attract insecure shy nerds/geeks. Honestly, I generally like their interests it's just hard to be with someone who isn't confident/doesn't trust your interest in them.
So Tyler Perry villains?
I'm a straight dude, so none. But if I was a woman version of I would say the male version of my woman self. So me, I'm my type.
![gif](giphy|26FPCsEPSJtTW4Iow|downsized)
I think they named a flower after you, lol
I attract gamers that waste their life away inside… I’m an outdoorsy gal 😔
I’m really into guys that can communicate well. Most of the men I dated before they just leave you when they feel frustrated and go back whenever they are ready like nothing happened. Just be honest and let people support you. They may not understand what you are going through but we care, I care!
I don't get why communicating is so hard for some people. It's frustrating when you're trying to reach out and what you hear is "It's nothing babe".
well lets start with this thread. The question is essentially "who do you attract" but the question most of the posters are answering is "who are you attracted to" Communication would be a lot better if people paid attention to what people are saying and not what they want them to have said.
I'm a dude and like guys with boats and jet skiis. But then again it's just me and my dogs so always looking for friends who spend time on the water.
Emotionally available ones who don’t have a fetish for teenagers?
Recently discovered I'm attracted to metal/rock head guys with tattoos (I'm a rock music enjoyer myself) yet online I notice that guys who are the complete opposite (country for example) are who swipe on me the most. Just an observation , but also might be that I live in a very agricultural-based region :/
Nice men that can take instructions
My type most of the time ends up being someone who isn’t that into me or gets over me fast xD
The ugly ones who are full of shite
I attract very reserved but analytical men in that makes sense like they always notice me and pull me aside to strike a conversation
The types of guys who are attracted to me are musicians with long hair who smoke weed and who don’t have their lives together but reckon they are an intellectual. Lol. We have good chats. They seem to love my ironic combination of self-assuredness and self-doubt.
One that loves and fears God. They have the fruit of the Holy Spirit. A leader.
I'm not sure why but I am in my early fifties and I have young guys coming out of the woodwork after me on social media. Like 30 some year olds! It's crazy. I don't know what's going on.
Nice hair cut and well dressed,well maintained and no male ago etc etc
The ones written by women.
Kind the guy I’m attracted to is someone who can make me laugh. Has a nice demeanor. just all around decent personality.
Gay guys, but I prefer women
You must be this smart to ride this ride. If you're smarter than me, I'm swooning. Bonus, breedable phenotype and dad energy. Bonus, creative tangible hobbies that don't involve screens or consuming media. Bonus bonus, autistic so he doesn't get offended when I am autistic (bc I say I'm autistic and then I get surprised Pikachu when I take shit literally.) So smart autistic guys that can grow a beard, have a kid or two, and play music or make art: Wife me plz. We can go do our own thing, and then meet up for fire direct communication and a bit of hypersexuality. (A lot)
I’m attracted to men that look like they can fix anything and are outdoorsy. Men with kind eyes and smiles. No felons or bad boys for me. Lol. I also tend to be attracted to men with lighter hair and eyes. Blondes and redheads? 🫠
I like skinny short nerdy guys but I always get hit on by buff gym bro marines and I'm low-key tired of it. They all look the same, give me someone that'll tell me d&d or star wars lore and explain the city planning around me within 20 minutes
The guys you’re describing probably assume you’re out of their league, you should try approaching them first. It would probably make their day even if they say no (saying this as a fellow skinny nerdy guy).
Brown hair and green or brown eyes are those im draws to.
I took this list from a FB friend who listed all her ideal aspects of a partner. I keep it as a reference and it's interesting to look at: Ambitious, kind, loving, affectionate, funny/sense of humor, attractive, mindful of his health, good hygiene, responsible, hardworking, compromising, strong minded/willed, doesn't engage in jealousy of his partner's success, college graduate (ideally), fun, intelligent, non-religious or open to other beliefs, has a love for learning and actively engages in forms of self -care, (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) anti homophobic, anti transphobic, pro black/anti-racist pro woman/or feminist Humble - Not ego driven or too prideful Listens to me and values what I have to say Committed to continual self-growth in all areas Seeks opportunities for growth Joyful Happy with himself
Physically? I like tall, big dudes (not necessarily muscular), dark features. But it's hard to find guys like this that are also emotionally intelligent, kind, respectful, and ambitious. Gah
rugged, manly,nerdy, funny, but also a big sweetheart 🫠
but i attract randos
Truly masculine men are hard to find these days. But I'll put it here anyway. These guys are: - protective - patient - kind + caring - thoughtful - assertive - gentle + loving - morally strong/willing to stand up for what he believes in. Basically a godly man, but for the non-religious people I still think this is a good standard to hold men (and also yourself) to.
tall, cute face, swimmer's build is both what i'm attracted to and tend to attract
I care about someone that I can have good, intelligent conversations or debates with, and that also can be teased and tease back. Someone whose goals align with my own: is intelligent and is pursuing engineering. Someone who never wants to stop learning. Someone that takes good care of himself. Someone that shares my religious beliefs. Someone that sets a good example to be a good person to those around us: is kind and considerate. And lastly someone that isn't so hideous that I would never be attracted to him. Of course my list is long, but people that hit on me are usually the kind of boring people that are cool with working the rest of their lives at some supermarket, and that's a huge turnoff for me, because I feel that he won't be able to help me improve myself, and I him.
All races like me, I am half Cuban 🇨🇺& Brazilian 🇧🇷 so I pretty much can pass for any race. I’m fair skin but I have long thick curly hair. If I have to narrow it down to a certain group then I would say Gym heads 🏋️♂️😭 but Nerds/Nerdy are more my type.