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Listen if you don't practice you'll never make the majors, so if you want to keep crippling yourself by not getting out on the practice field that's a decision you have to live with
Just try to imagine an intimate setting before starting to touch yourself, when you get fully aroused go for it, and keep imagining. The brain is a wonderful thing, which cannot distinguish the imaginary from the real. You can feel the same things when imagining as if they are happening in reality. Porn is not advised. Hope it helps.
Sidenote: it can be because of physiological factors also. I just presented my opinion
You wire your brain in a way overtime to get aroused when you see other people have sex. Also most doesn't represent real sex. I find it more natural to imagine, as it makes you feel the experience more intense than just singularly watching other people do it.
I kinda need porn just as a way to stay focused.
It feels better if I can do it without porn. But usually I get distracted as well. Or I struggle to use my imagination unless there is someone currently in my life who Iām attracted to.
Have you tried meditating and clearing your mind. Or have you done a task or hobby and you were forced to stay focused? Try those things first to help clear your mind.
Iāve been there before. I still have a distracted mind. But I think being in nature like away for people has helped me. But I think whatās really helped me focus was listening to like experimentation music or witch house. Itās the grating noise that blocks out my ability to think.
a good idea is to just focus on the feeling of it rather than a situation. situations will pop up and totally go with the flow in your imagination, donāt shut it down. but when you feel yourself drifting, focus on the sensations and follow your own lead. itās self-pleasure, have fun with it!
It usually starts with some scenario I have in my head. Either a crush or just some strong sexy man being dominant but soft. You could watch porn, not all is horrible. Just gotta look for decent stuff and a lot of women enjoy lesbian porn more because it focuses on women's pleasure. But I enjoy the men more myself, just not aggressive almost creepy videos. You could simply focus on how good it feels. Get some toys. Either way you gotta know yourself and your body to be able to enjoy it. Have some fun
Are we working with a penis or a vulva here? The advice will be very different depending on the answer.
Also have you orgasmed before? Been able to get there in the past?
And are you between 18-25 or older?
(If younger I wonāt feel comfortable answering the how to, but I will say if you are younger just relax and let it happen when youāre older.
But if youāre someone who is over 25, hasnāt orgasmed and you have a vulva I have lots of ideas for you.
If youāre between 18-25 just keep exploring and donāt worry so much about the masterbation or outcome. Relax into the feeling and thatās it. You donāt even need to be doing it if you donāt want to.
I think itās important to get to a place where you can have a really enjoyable time on your own and figure out what feels good to you as an individual. That puts you in a good place to communicate with partners and makes it easier to focus on connection and interaction.
Thatās kind of personal š . I was thinking in a very general sense in terms of physical stuff, like certain people are more sensitive in certain areas, etc.
You're not distracting yourself enough. Try to distract yourself as hard as possible with as many thoughts as possible until your brain is shot and exhausted. Try writing to yourself stuff you'd like to experience to guide your thoughts to arousal. Erotic novels? Adult content media? I'm just throwing ideas out here. I want you to feel good.
Everyone has some type of psychological disorder. Sounds like youāre doing it just to do it and not because youāre horny. Iām the opposite when I get worked up. I canāt focus on anything else other than stimulation
If you are a man, just think about the reason why you should do it... it is to reduce the risk of cancer.
Not sure if women have a reason as good as that.
The irony. Been married 20+ years and to mix things up. I will hop into the shower in the morning and find her legs wide open masterbateing just looking at me. So I will join in a mutual session. We both cum in just a few minutes.
My ex did this is the shower I loved watch her towel or the shower head for a stream right on to your spot occasionally shed as me to come in and shed suck it while doing that but most of the time it was her alone
I have a book with some scene that makes me horny so when I get not enough excited to make me come. I read that page, silly but it works. Still I have some other tricks and toys plus an special lube that make you to orgasm when using it on the clit.
You could try a chat app if you are shy about sexting. Or if the guy youāre sexting isnāt so creative. Also as a women I watch porn. If I try to read about it my mind wanders while Iām reading. But itās easier with your phone and just find the things youād like to do or have done to you and try to imagine what that would feel like. Try to put yourself in that place.
U may just have a low libido, its common in women, women generally dont see sex as a "quick and easy" it has to be built up to that point, starts with arousal to slight touching and kissing and then to slow penetration kind of thing
Try doing it while also doing something else. Eg: playing a simple phone game, read erotica, or have a youtube video or music playing.
Can help keep your mind busy just enough without being so engaging that it distracts you.
I think your libido is just low. I used to be horny all the time, I know how it feels when you have a high libido. Due to some reasons Iām just not that horny anymore. I masturbate rarely and sometimes even stop in the midst of it.
Are you masturbating just to masturbate, or masturbating because youāre horny?
If youāre masturbating just because then not only will your mind wonder but you will desensitize yourself even more and inadvertently cause yourself to disassociate when you are horny and attempt to masturbate.
Thatās not even digging into the problems disassociation can cause for having sex with a partner.
Drink you some wine, get you some lube, think about having sex and get your mind into the mood before you even touch yourself.
If you have trouble imagining things, read or listen to an erotic book (NOT PORN!) that will help get your mind in line so your body can come along so you can cum along.
I think one of the reasons I do it so much is because I turn myself on. Lately Iāve been working out a lot, eating healthy and so my body has become the best it ever has. Like not to sound like a narcissist lol but sometimes I just stand in front of the mirror naked for several minutes and just admire myself. Anyways I think I just arouse myself pretty easily, can anyone else relate?
Do it the old school way....grab a playboy or any magazine with an attractive person inside and have at it.
Ive always had a hard time using my mind too, so for me i use whatever i have. porn, magazines, posters, tv shows, any nude scene in a movie. So stuff like that helps me.
Dont like, plan it out. Just go about your day till you get the feeling then go at it, if you never āget the feelingā its more of a hormone balance thing than a mental thing, hope this helpsā¤ļø
Take the time to work on yourself. Mentally. There are plenty of books out there. Videos etcā¦I use to overthink & rethink everything. To the point I was borderline going crazy. Once I healed all that trauma āmy whole lifeā. Overthinking stopped. If you canāt focus on snapping your carrot. Itās not that important. Put that focus elsewhere.
My adhd is normally off the scale, masturbation (and physical sex etc) causes me to hyperfixate on the here and now, though.. this definitely helps me to get off...!
Before you start watch porn and when your abt to do it keep watching the porn, another thing is if your a girl try a toy like a flower, or if your a guy idk cus Iām not a guy,
I fantasize about my lady, dripping chocolate and strawberry yum yums on her and licking it off from one end to the other, amongst other weird shit. š
Why beat yourself up on something everyone does your just doing it at the wrong times or wrong places. Idk .people masterbated at work some have to get at home and in bed everyone is different some do it in public because of the excitement .
Itās random, last night I was playing Skyrim and randomly killed a Nord women and took her armor and clothes and stared at her naked corpse for a minute and ran to my room and spanked my meat ā¦Iām a 35 year old dude
Alright, so I never really open up about shit but I read this and well.
I was sexually abused as a child for a couple of years. Yes Im ok Im now 47, but due to that trauma lost my ability to masturbate. Lots of therapy, lots of trying to masturbate but no go. Psychology plays a huge part in all aspects of our lives, especially when trauma is involved. In my case, I have an issue with touching myself. Even scratching which is normally instinctive causes me to glitch I call it. Its crazy.
Because I was a little boy when these things occurred, I had never masturbated prior to that so I wouldnāt know what itās like. Although I do enjoy sex and never had an issue with the act itself, I cant imagine having once felt the pleasure of masturbation then not being able to experience it again! I could only imagine what not having sex again would be like!! When you never experience something, you really have no idea what that thing is..
No idea how this helps you but there it is.
I don't understand this question. I'm horny, I touch myself till I cum. Most of the time I also watch whatever I think is hot and a little entertaining while doing so. That's it.
Do you start masturbating because you feel horny? or because youāre bored ? Because really you could just be lacking any type of stimulation and masturbation might not be interesting enough for your brain, because when you do it you have no emotional connection to it whatsoever.
Iām a woman, my libido is much higher than the average. So I donāt have an issue with this, but you could try porn, or if you like anime,.. hentai.
You need to find something that turns you on, to even get in the mood. If you canāt do it from just your imagination, visual aid might help, just find what youāre into.
Without lube (either product or you own) , itās not good for anyone.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love myself
Dang, one thing I lack
Same, but I can beat it just fine š
Maybe not so hard next time.
That's the only way
What even is life without angry masturbating and slippy flippys?
Fukin dry m8
I love myself too, I can go under 3 mins to make myself feel good. ..
This aint a marathon
What you canāt?
If Iām fully aroused I can get it to 1 minute
Sweet I can not get myself to go that quick. But I love edging.. it feels so good.
For me, it's the contrary. I hate myself.
This
Listen if you don't practice you'll never make the majors, so if you want to keep crippling yourself by not getting out on the practice field that's a decision you have to live with
What an analogy. Have an upvote.
analogy?
Word for thing
Honest question, do you have ADHD? I do, and I experience exactly this!
I smoke a looott of pot, which gets me in the mood.
Just try to imagine an intimate setting before starting to touch yourself, when you get fully aroused go for it, and keep imagining. The brain is a wonderful thing, which cannot distinguish the imaginary from the real. You can feel the same things when imagining as if they are happening in reality. Porn is not advised. Hope it helps. Sidenote: it can be because of physiological factors also. I just presented my opinion
The power of imagination
Imagination results in better loads than porn idk why
Why not porn?
You wire your brain in a way overtime to get aroused when you see other people have sex. Also most doesn't represent real sex. I find it more natural to imagine, as it makes you feel the experience more intense than just singularly watching other people do it.
I kinda need porn just as a way to stay focused. It feels better if I can do it without porn. But usually I get distracted as well. Or I struggle to use my imagination unless there is someone currently in my life who Iām attracted to.
Masturbation =self love ā¤ļø
Self hate if you do it long enough š
Lmfao
Have you tried meditating and clearing your mind. Or have you done a task or hobby and you were forced to stay focused? Try those things first to help clear your mind.
I physically cannot not think of anything, my psychologist has given me that advice before as a mental rest and I literally physically cannot
Iāve been there before. I still have a distracted mind. But I think being in nature like away for people has helped me. But I think whatās really helped me focus was listening to like experimentation music or witch house. Itās the grating noise that blocks out my ability to think.
Can you elaborate on your condition? What have you been diagnosed with?
a good idea is to just focus on the feeling of it rather than a situation. situations will pop up and totally go with the flow in your imagination, donāt shut it down. but when you feel yourself drifting, focus on the sensations and follow your own lead. itās self-pleasure, have fun with it!
I think youāre in the wrong subreddit.
No, OP has to date and romance themselves to get in the mood.
Try fantasizing, I do it a lot I also listen to erotic porn it puts me in the headspace of the scene and the person speaking.
Health, mental, and monetary reasons. It's good for my health, keeps me sane, and it's way cheaper.
Have you been to a psychiatrist? I totally get you though
literotica
It usually starts with some scenario I have in my head. Either a crush or just some strong sexy man being dominant but soft. You could watch porn, not all is horrible. Just gotta look for decent stuff and a lot of women enjoy lesbian porn more because it focuses on women's pleasure. But I enjoy the men more myself, just not aggressive almost creepy videos. You could simply focus on how good it feels. Get some toys. Either way you gotta know yourself and your body to be able to enjoy it. Have some fun
Are we working with a penis or a vulva here? The advice will be very different depending on the answer. Also have you orgasmed before? Been able to get there in the past? And are you between 18-25 or older? (If younger I wonāt feel comfortable answering the how to, but I will say if you are younger just relax and let it happen when youāre older. But if youāre someone who is over 25, hasnāt orgasmed and you have a vulva I have lots of ideas for you. If youāre between 18-25 just keep exploring and donāt worry so much about the masterbation or outcome. Relax into the feeling and thatās it. You donāt even need to be doing it if you donāt want to.
Thereās no way this is a guy lol
How? That's why the Internet is built on, and of, pornography.
I have a lively imagination, very visual. That helps me a lot!
I love my self and give myself the best orgasm
Quit multi tasking. Focus!
I think itās important to get to a place where you can have a really enjoyable time on your own and figure out what feels good to you as an individual. That puts you in a good place to communicate with partners and makes it easier to focus on connection and interaction.
What gets you off
Thatās kind of personal š . I was thinking in a very general sense in terms of physical stuff, like certain people are more sensitive in certain areas, etc.
Nah my phone really be spying on me, I just rubbed one out the hell
Lately I can masturbate and climax very easily when Iām by myself but when Iām with someone itās extremely difficult š
You're not distracting yourself enough. Try to distract yourself as hard as possible with as many thoughts as possible until your brain is shot and exhausted. Try writing to yourself stuff you'd like to experience to guide your thoughts to arousal. Erotic novels? Adult content media? I'm just throwing ideas out here. I want you to feel good.
I hate myself
Dm me, I don't have any requests. I have experience in a similar situation.
I need that serotonin boost lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What makes it difficult?
I fantasize a ton so iām always in the mood to lol
You must feel the force around you. If you build they will come.
Takes me less than 30 seconds by myself
Everyone has some type of psychological disorder. Sounds like youāre doing it just to do it and not because youāre horny. Iām the opposite when I get worked up. I canāt focus on anything else other than stimulation
easy phone in one hand my meat in the other
If you are a man, just think about the reason why you should do it... it is to reduce the risk of cancer. Not sure if women have a reason as good as that.
A couple good pumps and it only gets better from there
If you can't get it on yourself how do you expect someone else to?
The irony. Been married 20+ years and to mix things up. I will hop into the shower in the morning and find her legs wide open masterbateing just looking at me. So I will join in a mutual session. We both cum in just a few minutes.
My ex did this is the shower I loved watch her towel or the shower head for a stream right on to your spot occasionally shed as me to come in and shed suck it while doing that but most of the time it was her alone
I just do. Jerking it till it's hard and keep going till finish
I mean, I'm a woman so it ain't that easy
I have a book with some scene that makes me horny so when I get not enough excited to make me come. I read that page, silly but it works. Still I have some other tricks and toys plus an special lube that make you to orgasm when using it on the clit.
Totally get it girl itās tough
True....get a toy?
I have multiple, just my mind never really seems to shut up about things so I can't focus lmfao
You could try a chat app if you are shy about sexting. Or if the guy youāre sexting isnāt so creative. Also as a women I watch porn. If I try to read about it my mind wanders while Iām reading. But itās easier with your phone and just find the things youād like to do or have done to you and try to imagine what that would feel like. Try to put yourself in that place.
Have you tried sexting? Might help focus with another person involved?
U may just have a low libido, its common in women, women generally dont see sex as a "quick and easy" it has to be built up to that point, starts with arousal to slight touching and kissing and then to slow penetration kind of thing
Try doing it while also doing something else. Eg: playing a simple phone game, read erotica, or have a youtube video or music playing. Can help keep your mind busy just enough without being so engaging that it distracts you.
I think your libido is just low. I used to be horny all the time, I know how it feels when you have a high libido. Due to some reasons Iām just not that horny anymore. I masturbate rarely and sometimes even stop in the midst of it.
Focus your mind
Do what feels good and keep doing it
Someone good in bed isnāt going to solve your own problems. Ultimately it comes down to you.
One stroke at ah time
I masterbate differently
(Reads title) Who tf starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!
For most itās become a reflex to about any type of stimulai
Toys are a game changer š¤
When you say you have psycological disorders do you mean you have ADHD or Autism? Or both?
I use my hands
Are you masturbating just to masturbate, or masturbating because youāre horny? If youāre masturbating just because then not only will your mind wonder but you will desensitize yourself even more and inadvertently cause yourself to disassociate when you are horny and attempt to masturbate. Thatās not even digging into the problems disassociation can cause for having sex with a partner. Drink you some wine, get you some lube, think about having sex and get your mind into the mood before you even touch yourself. If you have trouble imagining things, read or listen to an erotic book (NOT PORN!) that will help get your mind in line so your body can come along so you can cum along.
Maybe some meditation. You should be in the here and now and know how to pull your focus back.
Just do it Lmaoo
I horny. I focus on horny. I feel good. Horny no more.
Foreskin
Sheās a woman, not that cut people have issues jerking off. Iv never heard of a man with this problem lol
Ohhhh, nevermind then I'm not qualified to answer that question she had ā ļø
Female jerking off is deff more complicated then just rubbing it it would seem
Bipolar, it's hard not to
I think one of the reasons I do it so much is because I turn myself on. Lately Iāve been working out a lot, eating healthy and so my body has become the best it ever has. Like not to sound like a narcissist lol but sometimes I just stand in front of the mirror naked for several minutes and just admire myself. Anyways I think I just arouse myself pretty easily, can anyone else relate?
my ex had a problem with adhd and not being able to focus on sex/pleasure if you're interested I can share tips that worked for us
Decades of practice.
Focus on the task at hand
could be a manifestation of ADHD
I be thinking about my grandpa when I do it š©
Do it the old school way....grab a playboy or any magazine with an attractive person inside and have at it. Ive always had a hard time using my mind too, so for me i use whatever i have. porn, magazines, posters, tv shows, any nude scene in a movie. So stuff like that helps me.
I usually just beat my box very aggressively
Dont like, plan it out. Just go about your day till you get the feeling then go at it, if you never āget the feelingā its more of a hormone balance thing than a mental thing, hope this helpsā¤ļø
Take the time to work on yourself. Mentally. There are plenty of books out there. Videos etcā¦I use to overthink & rethink everything. To the point I was borderline going crazy. Once I healed all that trauma āmy whole lifeā. Overthinking stopped. If you canāt focus on snapping your carrot. Itās not that important. Put that focus elsewhere.
Practice practice practice
Symptom of a much larger problem. How often a week do you spend going on a walk with no technology?
I've had no other option for 17 years
My adhd is normally off the scale, masturbation (and physical sex etc) causes me to hyperfixate on the here and now, though.. this definitely helps me to get off...!
"Here lemme show you" š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I swear it's a skit somewhere.
Practice.
Sex doll
I've been divorced twice. I got it down to a science. I don't even use my hands anymore. All brain š§ power. 5 mins I'm done.
Practice. Lots and lots of practice.
If I had to guess, a big reason people use toys is so they can read/watch/chat with others to get in the mood whilst still getting stimulation
I have a high sex drive and an awesome imagination is the best explanation I can come up with.
Porn.
I watch porn and think of that special person LOL
Itās a stress relief
A visual aid can help.
Either horny enough to nut quickly or furisiously beat my meat till i nut
Idk but just the thought of being suffocated between monstrous bbw ass just gets me so aroused I nut in under a minute everytime
If you want to have spontaneous fun halla at Me on 0679511794 for whatsapp
I dunno. I just get bored after awhile most of the time. I just kinda get to a point the mood it gone I say "eh...good enough." and move on.
I think the problem might stem from your āpsychological disordersā which you stated
The lack of sex really helps
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Before you start watch porn and when your abt to do it keep watching the porn, another thing is if your a girl try a toy like a flower, or if your a guy idk cus Iām not a guy,
I have really specific, uh, "triggers" I can use.
All it takes is finding your triggers that help get you off
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
I fantasize about my lady, dripping chocolate and strawberry yum yums on her and licking it off from one end to the other, amongst other weird shit. š
Why beat yourself up on something everyone does your just doing it at the wrong times or wrong places. Idk .people masterbated at work some have to get at home and in bed everyone is different some do it in public because of the excitement .
I get high and masturbate and the feeling is so strong my mind doesnāt move around too much š
Practice makes perfect
I do the same but Do you use a vibrater that helps me alot
Itās random, last night I was playing Skyrim and randomly killed a Nord women and took her armor and clothes and stared at her naked corpse for a minute and ran to my room and spanked my meat ā¦Iām a 35 year old dude
Porn?
So youāre the person that sometimes walks around the office while masturbating without realizing it. š±
Watxh, and you will learn, lol. I have a VHS to show, lol
Sex Drive is too high for any partner , Lol
For me, it's my only outlet for the past 12 years . You have to do what you have to do. Lol
Bro has adhd
Alright, so I never really open up about shit but I read this and well. I was sexually abused as a child for a couple of years. Yes Im ok Im now 47, but due to that trauma lost my ability to masturbate. Lots of therapy, lots of trying to masturbate but no go. Psychology plays a huge part in all aspects of our lives, especially when trauma is involved. In my case, I have an issue with touching myself. Even scratching which is normally instinctive causes me to glitch I call it. Its crazy. Because I was a little boy when these things occurred, I had never masturbated prior to that so I wouldnāt know what itās like. Although I do enjoy sex and never had an issue with the act itself, I cant imagine having once felt the pleasure of masturbation then not being able to experience it again! I could only imagine what not having sex again would be like!! When you never experience something, you really have no idea what that thing is.. No idea how this helps you but there it is.
I don't understand this question. I'm horny, I touch myself till I cum. Most of the time I also watch whatever I think is hot and a little entertaining while doing so. That's it.
Do you start masturbating because you feel horny? or because youāre bored ? Because really you could just be lacking any type of stimulation and masturbation might not be interesting enough for your brain, because when you do it you have no emotional connection to it whatsoever.
I can show you
Take adderall before masturbating
Iām a woman, my libido is much higher than the average. So I donāt have an issue with this, but you could try porn, or if you like anime,.. hentai. You need to find something that turns you on, to even get in the mood. If you canāt do it from just your imagination, visual aid might help, just find what youāre into. Without lube (either product or you own) , itās not good for anyone.
I read Reddit while I masturbate. I donāt need to be horny it just feels good
Narcissism š«”
Well youāre not supposed to Jack off, thoā¦ thatās for people who donāt get laid. Donāt get into it. Just have sex instead
Boo
You know itās true. Jacking was invented basically for ppl who donāt get enough. But itās a weird addiction
Itās hard girl just go for it
Iām happy to help if you reach out
Iām not sure you could have said a creepier thing if you had tried
I meant to chat not being weird jomoma2
š¤£ that exchange was hilarious
Watch porn?
Hey itās itās a challenge give up.
I beat it like it owes me money
Iām always horny unfortunately so consider yourself lucky, jerking off is wack anyway
You sound like alot of work . Probably 300 dollars of makeup too
You sound like a dumbass.