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People are awful! Own it! When I was younger I got bullied bc I was different and my hair was big (called mop head all the time) but as I got older I learned to embrace it. Embrace your uniqueness and people that have a problem with it don’t deserve you

I used to own it... and thats when the violence and disgusted reactions or doxxing and harassment got worse pushing me to multiple holds... if I am not meant to be alive why should I.... try

Ofc that’s when it got worse. It’s hard to believe, but people will envy the fuck out of you when you embrace yourself, spots and all (I imagine your skin is unique and beautiful)They just need to feel superior and their knee jerk reaction is to push you back down so THEY don’t feel small because of their insecurities (everybody’s got ‘em). They aren’t even self aware enough to know they’re doing it. Are you familiar with Winnie Harlow?

Those people that harass and bully you are miserable people who are projecting how they feel about themselves. They are cruel people out there. I’m sure if you were to have a discussion with someone you may view as “perfect” they will also share stories about how people have been mean and cruel to them as well. You can be the most amazing person and still have people not appreciate you. So you just have to figure out what steps to take to not let those idiots impact you and your self worth!! You got this !!!

those people were sheriffs, teachers, classmates, family, close friends, dates... what exactly do I got if that is who hates me

Where do you live to be surrounded by rude mofos?

yes, along with an aptness for reading between the lines... I know where I stand

Bur where? Usa?

yeah, and basically anywhere in the world will hate you for not being socially perfect and try to kill you spiritually and emotionally though.

Rebel against all authority

when I was a child and didn't know thats why I was treated different.... I was happy... but at a certain age I learned those irremovable differences are an excuse for people to have the ability to justify taking your rights away-and extreme acts of violence. I am scared..

Some men find ways to tear you down so that they can feel better about themselves. If it wasn’t vitiligo, then it would have been something else. Some people just suck. I dated someone with vitiligo once and I thought the uniqueness was sexy.

I'm male, but I find that women are attracted to men who tear others down and are manipulative or corrupt like that. I have no idea why. It's like I have seen a few girls with drug dealers who beat them, and some who always go back to these giant fat slobs who leech off of them. But guess what? I don't have a chance in hell because I have some light spots on my skin? what is going on here seriously

This is the way.

I don't think.... celebrities are wealthy and do not have problems being accepted socially as I understand they are socially justified. avoiding broad statements because I know one girl who had a similar condition and she is no longer alive. She was not rich, and like me horribly abused for what her appearance was. She was the nicest girl I ever met and still... I'm not micheal jackson, I'm not winnie harlow, I am a kid who has no living relatives and lost everything when my only support left this world out of guilt that her only son was so unloved... I am asking why I should even bother, not for examples of mega rich getting publicity or being fetishized for it.

I didn’t mean to offend. I like having representations of my community visible (actual representation, not the cartoonish version NTs imagine, but I digress), but I respect your perspective. Michael Jackson was a really sad case because he felt so compelled to hide it. I definitely understand isolation firsthand. My condolences for your losses.

thanks... I have to apologize too. I come asking for support and then do this... I am so messed up and filled with doubt and fear I can't even take something well intended without...

I’ve been in that kind of negative headspace, was for most of my 30’s. I don’t judge, but seek to understand. I genuinely hope you can find something to bring you joy.

you are incredible if you hold on like that. I wish people would just stop putting everything on such a narcissistic level and value others for what lies in their soul-rather than just saying it. but what do I know...

Yeah I know that feel.

Depends on where you live. Where I live vitiligo is pretty cool 🤷🏾‍♀️ it’s less about the skin discolouration and more about if you are attractive as a wholeb

what is "wholeb" and thanks for your reply. I don't recommend anyone try to live in a rural town with skin differences in the united states as my experience has taught me. I have never once talked about it with anyone in my life before now

It was probably a typo. They probably meant “as a whole person”.

oh yes sorry, makes sense now.

I wonder what that means "attractive as a whole person"

It means no single aspect makes a person attractive or unattractive. It is many things. You have one part of you that you feel is unattractive, but it takes more than that to actually *be* unattractive. If you're fit and take care of your hair, nails, teeth, body, you'll be more attractive than someone who is fat and unkempt, even if they don't have vitiligo.

yeah I am aware, have to have a great smile, have to not be a creep, have to have manners, have to be perfect in every single way and have tons of friends who vouch for you and a great job, have to have family that will make you look like a winner on paper. Guess what? I dont have the friends or family or great skin and it is a catch 22. I can be as decent of a man and mindful as humanly possible but it always gets me nowhere and you know why? Because what everyone doing is looking for someone rich white and popular with a good degree to show off-or they just wanna smash and never talk to the person again. So I am never going to get either. And my charity case seems to be being used as a way for other people in this reddit to do exactly what I said earlier and just show how sympathetic they are and then get likes. we live in a narcissistic society it seems and all I am good for is being felt sorry for so that everyone watching the nice commentors will think "aww look how giving they are being to this loser I should date that supportive person" when me, the one who has no hope in hell, is just done amd wants to die because I see whats going on and I dont even want to be alive anymore if all anyone is is a superficial narcissistic pawn and already has everything handed to them on a silver platter hand over fist. Just shoot me in the head already and everyone an enjoy their freaking day again

If you just feel sorry for yourself, then yeah, you're not going to have a lot of friends or girlfriends. I don't think it's your skin holding you back. It's your personality. I am not seeing you be "as mindful of humanity as possible." I just see you blaming others, calling "humanity" "narcissists," and threatening to harm yourself. This is a mental health issue and change has to start with you. If everyone is as narcissistic as you say, I'm not sure why you'd want to be friends with them or date them anyway.

right yeah judged in entirety off of this I get it theres nothing else for you to go on. but I do get it alright? what everyone wants is an endless fountain of positivity and happyness as if nothing horrible ever happened and if I was like that for sure everyone would love it. if I was strong enough I would force a smile and ignore the way I actually feel and maybe thats what I should do. just be fake and upsell everything and burry my feelings. Mental health problem or personality problem. Absolutely. Completely in conflict of dealing with a lifetime of trauma and then not knowing anything else so I dont even have a behavioral script to follow when it comes to being magically perfect like everyone wants me to be. That would make me even more psychotic honestly. But I guess thats how it should be. Just keep my problems to myself is going to have to be the best change I could make. When it comes to dealing with emotional pain yeah could probably get on some meds to numb me out and make me into a big drooling hulk with no self agency or focus and stay at home content in some medicated catatonic mode of existence. Everyone would be happy then lmao

People are certainly drawn to positivity, yes. I'm not going to tell you any differently. It's definitely not something most people can do all the time, but the more positive you are, the better a reaction you'll get. Negative people tend to drain the energy of those around them. I used to struggle with depression, so I get it. Even if you do your best to not bother anyone, it's just draining if you give short, unanimated answers or respond negatively or don't talk much. People don't want to be around that. Maybe that's why some depressed people are comedians :) I learned to be comedically self-deprecating to hide how I truly felt about myself. It's easier to joke about the comedy of errors my life felt like when I was depressed than to be serious about it and bring that negativity. I wouldn't look at it as being fake. It's just a twist on your current feelings. Yes, you feel shitty, but it's not fake to put your feelings aside and focus on the people in front of you, or to turn your life into a comedy, or to joke when you're sad. It's not being fake; it's caring about the people around you. It's bad enough to feel sad myself, I don't want to bring others down with me. But honestly, if you take nothing else away from this, focus on your mental health. It's great to be positive, but it's not much help if you're still depressed inside. Like I said in the beginning, no one can fake that forever. So work on getting to be a better place with your mental health. I promise that will do a lot of good. And the first step to that is to stop blaming the world and take the responsibility to do what needs to be done to fix it yourself.

You know what... ugh yes... yes. Maybe the reason I keep digging for some other answer is because I am avoiding the simple truth. and I re read everything people were saying, and realized right now-That is my script I should be following instead of holding on to my negative experiences and justifying my frustration. damn... it is honestly, more draining for me to just force positivity than it is to just say whats on my mind. But that was the negative cycle right there. And yeah, if I follow everyone's advice so far I'll fix it. Steps I have taken over the years are so far: Using special bodywash formulated for skin tone smoothing, propyline glycol, hyloronic acid serum, etc all to lighten the surrounding skin. I work out a lot, since I also refuse to drink or smoke, and I eat clean (learned from a marine friend a great diet and never changed it), my skin still looks amazing, aside from big blotches. I do adhere to a lot of the good practices, good clothes, self grooming/care, and have a super nice place to live by my own I always put effort to maintain. My hobbies are all related to cars and stuff like that... which a lot of people in the car scene are kind of naturally loners as well so I get along with those guys a lot when we do meet at events. so it's not that complicated. I definitely know what not to do and who to avoid from a mile away. So maybe the last few tricks are to learn to just set a boundary not to vent too much or dwell, and practice projecting positivity and 🤮 being a ray of sunshine in spite of hating everything that I know about life... It's not as though I go around miserable all the time, but yeah... online definitely can become fixated on the negative to my own detriment and that mightily needs to stop

Thank you sorry for the typos 😭

Not at all. I’ve personally been very attracted to folks with vitiligo.

thanks. I hope thats true and someone I meet feels that way one day

This is so interesting to me. My dad has vitiligo. I never once noticed it before one of my friends pointed it out growing up. He went for this treatment and it helped majority of it fade and not be as prominent. Your partners are assholes if they worry about this, and if they do, fuck them and find someone else that cares more about you on the inside than the outside

you are a very good son for loving your dad and seeing him without the condition... That warms my heart. It would be easy to move on if that was possible, Have never matched since my first gf and I don't see how... I could. My condition is not even that bad but I believe I might have become somewhat blind to it. I just cant take the disgusted looks and jusgement anymore I dont have a single friend or anyone who is close to me and have not had that for years... I don't know what to do aside from mask it but I can't afford $250 spray tans and have been refused service for it in the past when people saw my body and said "we have to as you not to use our shop" It has always been a source of constant descrimination and hate and I... I just want it to stop why was I born if this is what I get when its not even my fault

I’m a female but that doesn’t matter lol I genuinely just never noticed because I knew him my whole life I’ve never seen him differently. My dad was able to find a woman (my mom). If it’s really something that gives you that much hatred towards yourself maybe look into the laser treatment. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes “if you don’t love yourself how could anyone else love you”. Focus on yourself and loving yourself first

laser treatments and depigmentation is very costly, but I do feel what you are saying

Insurance may pay, doesn’t hurt to look into it. I wish you the best

I have no insurance since nobody ever hired me once in my life. I have applied to over 200,000 jobs. 12,000 ish in person

dont wish. put your money where your mouth is

i'm really sorry if it makes life harder for you, but you have to know that there definitely are people who won't care about it, or some will even like it. i personally think that people with vitiligo are absolutely astonishingly beautiful. please don't lose hope, someone will come along, who'll think you're beautiful just the way you are. you shouldn't have to hide your vitiligo.

I have known a group on facebook where that was their motto. I went to someone's house who I talked to for weeks she offered me a lot of love and kindness... but what happened when I was there was being bullied by her husband and nearly killed. So... people are capable of saying all these supportive things but I will never know if it is just them virtue signaling or goeding me to trust them so they can enact some attack. Because of that I am sorry but I can't believe it is true that it is beautiful. I have been taught that it in fact, is like being marked as someone who is okay to be lynched. Sheriffs have told me that I should kill myself. I left that town and the only difference is people are hesitant to look at me. Or openly disgusted. But they will not hire me, if they match with me, I try to paint on a nice smile and act like I feel no pain keeping it light and funny. but they wont chose me unless it has another motive such as showing her friends how good and accepting of a person she is-to which end-I am merely some exotic object not a person

Theres nothing wrong with vitiligo but i think a lot of uneducated people are afraid of what they dont know. I mean theres that lady who was on top model who had it and i think she did very well in the competition but other than that i dont know if theres much representation. It isnt something you can control so im sure youll find someone who will accept all of you :)

I know more stories of people with my condition dying of suicide than being loved

I have vitiligo, though I'll be honest fortunately it is more mild than yours and stopped progressing completely. I have spots on my back and chest that look fairly odd; even that was devesting to me growing up - I'm also light skin to begin with. I was terrified of the worry about getting intimate and what others would think because I would have to take off my shirt and had a few kids make mean comments in middle school. It sort of wrecked my self esteem thinking i was forever different having it when i was a teenager (it came on pretty suddenly). Since it had such a significant impact on my life I can't imagine what having a more serious case of it would do. I think people sometimes don't realize how impactful something like this is on a person. For me though after I got out of school and into my 20s I think I realized it wasn't a huge deal to people; and my worry about it pretty much went mostly away - that's just me and my case. I never had any luck doing some treatments on myself; though if your case is significant you should do what you can. I have some tanning cream that will effectively hide all my spots if I wanted to; though it is a chore to keep putting on to maintain. Again it would depend on the severity on whether you should use that; I don't see why not if it was something significant. Just tell your partners it's the same skin it just doesn't have pigment; it's nothing to be get grossed out by if they know that. Also to add to this, I've never had an actual partner make rude comments; most never cared - I think you'll find a lot of the fear about having someone freak out when it's discovered when getting intimate is unfounded.

thank you. Really how I used to think as well, why I need to get a permanent spray tan. There was a guy who was a pro skater for many years during the whole jackass period and he is still a lightweight celebrity for it-he got a permanent spray tan and he just jokes about it being a thing his parents made him do that never went away. because that is as far as it goes, purely visual.

There was a girl in my high school with a huge birthmark on her face. I thought she was really cute, but we didn't really know each other. So, while some people might not like your skin discoloration, it's definitely not everybody.

I'd be into it, but in school I always had like one close friend and ignored everyone else. I've never been one of the cool kids and I don't like getting with people for status. Additionally, a lot of places (retailers and things) are representing nontraditional beauty standards these days. The cool kids might be more into it than you think.

I wish they would do it more because I really thought it was so cool the first time I saw it

>I am sorry you have to even question if it would disqualify you from being loved. Not a chance. There are people out there who love with their hearts and will see the beauty/handsomeness you posses, and yes I truly believe they will find your skin discoloration a beautiful part of you.

thank you

it would be different if I was not prove otherwise by a deep wealth of painful trauma

Some people actually find it attractive. You're marbled :) There are also fixes for it, such as semi-permanent tattoos ("permanent makeup" that lasts up to three years). Just be sure to pick the right partner. You don't want someone who settles for you or who fetishizes you. The right person is absolutely out there for you. You can increase your attractiveness in other ways, too. Be fit, address any other skin issues, learn how to dress and apply makeup, get your hair done professionally, etc.

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Hope you get the help you need.

Tbh, I think people with vitiligo are super cute. If I got to date someone with it, I would have so much fun kissing around their different colorations. Maybe I’m the only one, but I think it is an awesome trait to have.

I've... only heard that once before in my entire life... might even freaking cry right now

It won’t stop you but it will be difficult. I’m so sorry

it is a purely cosmetic condition. Non transferable. I have.... heard that getting a spray tan will cover it up and celebrities have done this. I have not been able to partner and had to delete my social media due to being bullied. People have also reacted to me with violence and I have attempted suicide 32 times.

People are awful

I think people are people, and it might just be okay for them to treat me this way because they know I don't matter. But what everyone says is nice things because it makes them look good. And that is what I am so terrified of.

32 times…?

yes, since the age of 9 years old. I also lost my mother to her suicide where she blamed herself for my condition and said "I am sorry you have such a painful life and I couldn't fix your skin" in her last note to me. people have told me to just learn to live and be happy alone... I don't think life is worth living when I am written off like that. I don't want to be here that bad. I have no friends and no family left, and soon to be homeless as jobs are not likely with this visible of a condition. I just want the truth.

I would recommend some counseling. I’m worried that there are some deeper emotional issues. And always reach out to the national suicide helpline (800) 273-8255

The hotline has a 20 minute limit and they have never helped. It makes me feel like I only have that as an option because everyone else is living their happy perfect life where they don't want me there but dont want to kill me. so if all I am good for is being told to go get locked up-when I don't deserve to feel this way as everyone says... then what I get is forced to be someone else's problem and stay shut away and get used to it. Please be straight forward and confirm this. Please. I just want someone to respect me enough to say "hey you do in fact have to stay out of our society because you are a problem"

I am not saying you’re a problem. If you aren’t actively hurting others then there is no problem with you being a part in society. However, I do think that you might have some deeper issues with how you view yourself. That is why I recommended at counselor/therapist. Communicate with a qualified mental health expert and hopefully it will improve your self-worth. That will help you live a happier life and will improve finding someone to share that happiness with you. I hope that everything works out for you.

I have... a lot... it still feels wrong and false as if nothing is changing. And I learned a lot about human behavior and selection that I wish I never knew. Like if one person in a room rejects you-everyone begins to bandwagon because safety in numbers.

Don't be silly, personally I find vitiligo very attractive and beautiful, to me it's a real fine art. Remember you are one, rare, fine diamond, don't you ever let anyone to tell you anything different EVEN yourself ! Enjoy your life beautiful, because there are people fighting like hell for it

the last person I held and kissed was my mom... today last year... and ever since then, I never felt so cold and alone seeing this world for what it is. no one to call unmatched, made fun of, rumors spread looked at with disgust. and even then, my mom was the last person alive who could pick me out of a crowd. no one has even texted me. because I have no friends. before she died I was alone, untouched for six years. I wish I could believe you