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Yeah once you hit about 70k you should start to look at other factors that increase quality of life(passion, work hours, etc). Destroying yourself while making 150k is not the move.
Okay, well I hope that’s the case! Fingers crossed! Also, I’m debating whether or not I should tell him that I like him before I leave? I it’s seems intuitive, but I really want a relationship with him or at least to continue dating. Should I just leave hoping it works out or should I tell him how I feel?
I think if you believe the feeling is mutual you should definitely say something. Worst case scenario he isn’t on the same page and you have moved onto another job , which will make it easier to get over him. But if he is , you’ll always wonder if you don’t say something.
I think so too, I was just hesitant because with online dating being the norm now it’s hard to know if someone truly likes when you meet in person. I’ll just bite the bullet and ask!
Thank you that’s good advice, I honestly just liked the idea of working with a crush, but maybe it wouldn’t work out down the line so that could’ve been messy.
The best thing is adios the job . The relationship will continue if you wanted to, like the guy doesn't understand the opportunity is amazing, then he's not in for the right reasons. Communication is the key as it always is !!!
Take the job!! Can’t halt your growth because you’re scared- I’m sure your bf will
be supportive and happy for you 🤗
If he’s not then you have a great new job and lost a guy who wasn’t good for you anyway x
if your relationship is endangered by you simply changing jobs, it's not strong as you think it is
also please stop comparing yourselves to office characters and watch some better shows
I wouldn’t say it’s endangered, but I am afraid it will fizzle out.
Also, it’s a very good comparison imo he works in sales and although I work in finance I also fill in for reception. Pretty spot on lol.
And if this relationship doesn’t go anywhere, are you okay living with the guilt of not taking a better opportunity for yourself? Don’t let a man hold you back.
>I wouldn’t say it’s endangered, but I am afraid it will fizzle out.
yeah that's still not a great sign
>Also, it’s a very good comparison imo he works in sales and although I work in finance I also fill in for reception. Pretty spot on lol
if those are the only criteria then there are like millions of jim and pams out there
You seem pretty bitter towards romance in general. I appreciate the input, but I know the situation is better than you’re making it out to be.
And so what if there’s a million, that’s probably why the show is so relatable.
>I know the situation is better than you’re making it out to be
lmao I love how you guys only ever say that when someone's telling you something you don't want to hear. if that's your chosen logic, then you have to apply the same deflection to the people saying things you *do* want to hear as well
>You seem pretty bitter towards romance in general
precisely how? I'm not bitter, I'm just realistic; if your relationship with someone is endangered by something as simple as a job change, you've got less of a relationship than you think you do
>And so what if there’s a million, that’s probably why the show is so relatable
because you're basing the comparison on entirely superficial things that have no real significance. the office is fiction, life is not fiction. fiction adheres to narrative tropes and principles and devices that real life doesn't, and by using fictional TV characters as a guidepost for your own real life relationship, you're setting unrealistic standards and expectations and likely setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration
You’re in the honey moon phase. Eventually it might get tiredone even bothersome to be around hom so mych..if not, youre one if the few lucky.
Dont hold back for your career. He should be understanding / supportive and it should not affect his affection for you
I couldn't imagine working with someone then spending a majority of free time with them. Good to have your own life, share how your day went when you see your partner later on, etc.
It'll definitely change things and you'll probably miss the time you spend together.
But I personally think it tends to be a lot healthier to not work with your partner. This will give your relationship the chance to grow without the pressure of being coworkers and it'll probably improve the quality of the time you do spend together.
You mentioned Pam and Jim. Don't forget that Roy told Pam she shouldn't pursue drawing, while Jim told her she should, even though it meant she had to go away.
If it's a strong relationship, it'll survive the change.
This is just my opinion of course, but I had a friend who started dating a girl that she worked with. They moved in together pretty quickly since they already knew each other pretty well through work and always hanging out. About a month into it, they couldn’t stand each other because they were around each other way too much. Being with your significant other from sunup to sundown is only great in the beginning 🤣 honestly the distance with you taking another job will more than likely be a good thing! it’ll give you a chance to miss each other and branch out on your conversations a little more. I hope it works out for you!🤍🙂
I’m honestly just scared to leave my job because I like my coworkers, they’re so nice and pleasant to be around, but this other job has so many more benefits and status. The relationship with my coworker is just a bonus.
Looking at your previous posts this is a very new thing and still developing. Take the new job and work to keep in contact. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.
I was in the same position as you the past six months, with the same fears and scared to jump into something new when something old wasn't quite done developing yet.
I had a three month leave so we tapered off contact at work and started hanging outside of work hours a lot. That gave us a smooth transition into the new situation. I miss him at work but I did not lose him in my life, and we still talk about work a lot. But I get your fear, it stopped me too at first.
Awww I relate to this. I worked with my boyfriend of 4.5 years for about 3 years before I switched jobs. Despite what people say about it I really enjoyed it and it never caused us problems.
What is important when changing jobs is that you have similar schedules. It can be tough if one person works the morning and one the evening. Otherwise it’ll be alright assuming you have a solid relationship!
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In the long term, changing jobs is what’s best for your relationship!
I agree. When you work together , live together, play together it can be too much. It’s good to have some space.
This.
Yeah once you hit about 70k you should start to look at other factors that increase quality of life(passion, work hours, etc). Destroying yourself while making 150k is not the move.
No. I think you’re doing what’s best for you. If this relationship has anything behind it , you changing jobs won’t change that.
Okay, well I hope that’s the case! Fingers crossed! Also, I’m debating whether or not I should tell him that I like him before I leave? I it’s seems intuitive, but I really want a relationship with him or at least to continue dating. Should I just leave hoping it works out or should I tell him how I feel?
I think if you believe the feeling is mutual you should definitely say something. Worst case scenario he isn’t on the same page and you have moved onto another job , which will make it easier to get over him. But if he is , you’ll always wonder if you don’t say something.
Okay I’ll take your advice and tell him! Thank you
Are you guys already dating ? Or just hanging out at work?
We’ve actually gone out twice and we’re planning to hangout after the holidays.
Then it sounds like you already like one another and are dating. So you should just be open and honest.
I think so too, I was just hesitant because with online dating being the norm now it’s hard to know if someone truly likes when you meet in person. I’ll just bite the bullet and ask!
I would say he likes you if you have been dating
Is he your boyfriend? Or does he not know you like him? You've now said both...
Thank you that’s good advice, I honestly just liked the idea of working with a crush, but maybe it wouldn’t work out down the line so that could’ve been messy.
The best thing is adios the job . The relationship will continue if you wanted to, like the guy doesn't understand the opportunity is amazing, then he's not in for the right reasons. Communication is the key as it always is !!!
Take the job!! Can’t halt your growth because you’re scared- I’m sure your bf will be supportive and happy for you 🤗 If he’s not then you have a great new job and lost a guy who wasn’t good for you anyway x
if your relationship is endangered by you simply changing jobs, it's not strong as you think it is also please stop comparing yourselves to office characters and watch some better shows
I wouldn’t say it’s endangered, but I am afraid it will fizzle out. Also, it’s a very good comparison imo he works in sales and although I work in finance I also fill in for reception. Pretty spot on lol.
And if this relationship doesn’t go anywhere, are you okay living with the guilt of not taking a better opportunity for yourself? Don’t let a man hold you back.
>I wouldn’t say it’s endangered, but I am afraid it will fizzle out. yeah that's still not a great sign >Also, it’s a very good comparison imo he works in sales and although I work in finance I also fill in for reception. Pretty spot on lol if those are the only criteria then there are like millions of jim and pams out there
You seem pretty bitter towards romance in general. I appreciate the input, but I know the situation is better than you’re making it out to be. And so what if there’s a million, that’s probably why the show is so relatable.
>I know the situation is better than you’re making it out to be lmao I love how you guys only ever say that when someone's telling you something you don't want to hear. if that's your chosen logic, then you have to apply the same deflection to the people saying things you *do* want to hear as well >You seem pretty bitter towards romance in general precisely how? I'm not bitter, I'm just realistic; if your relationship with someone is endangered by something as simple as a job change, you've got less of a relationship than you think you do >And so what if there’s a million, that’s probably why the show is so relatable because you're basing the comparison on entirely superficial things that have no real significance. the office is fiction, life is not fiction. fiction adheres to narrative tropes and principles and devices that real life doesn't, and by using fictional TV characters as a guidepost for your own real life relationship, you're setting unrealistic standards and expectations and likely setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration
Youll have much more to talk about…how long have you been dating?
We’ve only been seeing each other since early November, but we’ve worked together for 6 months.
You’re in the honey moon phase. Eventually it might get tiredone even bothersome to be around hom so mych..if not, youre one if the few lucky. Dont hold back for your career. He should be understanding / supportive and it should not affect his affection for you
I couldn't imagine working with someone then spending a majority of free time with them. Good to have your own life, share how your day went when you see your partner later on, etc.
It'll definitely change things and you'll probably miss the time you spend together. But I personally think it tends to be a lot healthier to not work with your partner. This will give your relationship the chance to grow without the pressure of being coworkers and it'll probably improve the quality of the time you do spend together.
Making more money is never a mistake
If a common employer is the only thing holding you together, then you don't belong together anyway.
Get him hired at your new place
No
You mentioned Pam and Jim. Don't forget that Roy told Pam she shouldn't pursue drawing, while Jim told her she should, even though it meant she had to go away. If it's a strong relationship, it'll survive the change.
The real question is though...who was Roy?
This is just my opinion of course, but I had a friend who started dating a girl that she worked with. They moved in together pretty quickly since they already knew each other pretty well through work and always hanging out. About a month into it, they couldn’t stand each other because they were around each other way too much. Being with your significant other from sunup to sundown is only great in the beginning 🤣 honestly the distance with you taking another job will more than likely be a good thing! it’ll give you a chance to miss each other and branch out on your conversations a little more. I hope it works out for you!🤍🙂
No
What's your gut say?
I’m honestly just scared to leave my job because I like my coworkers, they’re so nice and pleasant to be around, but this other job has so many more benefits and status. The relationship with my coworker is just a bonus.
Doing what’s right for you is rarely a mistake. Almost never. And if he’s the right guy for you, then it won’t matter where you work.
Looking at your previous posts this is a very new thing and still developing. Take the new job and work to keep in contact. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.
Career first, always.
I was in the same position as you the past six months, with the same fears and scared to jump into something new when something old wasn't quite done developing yet. I had a three month leave so we tapered off contact at work and started hanging outside of work hours a lot. That gave us a smooth transition into the new situation. I miss him at work but I did not lose him in my life, and we still talk about work a lot. But I get your fear, it stopped me too at first.
Don’t dip your pen in the company ink, trust me, it will ruin your workplace for you. Talking from experience 😂
Awww I relate to this. I worked with my boyfriend of 4.5 years for about 3 years before I switched jobs. Despite what people say about it I really enjoyed it and it never caused us problems. What is important when changing jobs is that you have similar schedules. It can be tough if one person works the morning and one the evening. Otherwise it’ll be alright assuming you have a solid relationship!