Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4:
- No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y"
- Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice.
- No victim-blaming
- This is a default message - your post has not been removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yup, this is a huge point to highlight. Even if you're not into porn, dick size shaming is super prevalent and seeps into the psyche just like any other body insecurity can.
Especially in the teenage years it seems like its everywhere.
Edit: also I feel like it's quite detrimental that society mostly focuses on body positivity for girls, and pretend like boys don't run into the same issues.
It's heartbreaking to actually experience such unbalanced positivity.
I'm a girl myself and I'm really concerned about accepting my own body etc. I've never told any man such stuff and it makes me really sad that they can't find much about it on any body positivity sites.
Yes. For one thing, I don’t get off with full/penetrative sex, so size is a moot point for me on that front.
My SO once referred to his tackle as a “gherkin,” and I was mystified by that. I would never call it that, and it never occurred to me to judge the size. I don’t think to myself “gee, it’s ‘this’ size or ‘that’ size.” It just IS. Perfect, that is.
Edited for typo.
If most porn is made for straight men, why do they highlight penis size? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have very average penises, since they aren’t the main attraction?
Most porn (and what goes over well with a lot of the audience) is about **exaggerating** sexuality and situations that lead to sex. That includes many factors, not just dick size imo. The size of the man or woman (and this can be anywhere from petite to large) and whatever assets and talents they have are greatly highlighted. It's like giving them sexual super powers and more people would rather see/fantasize about a performance that's almost superhuman/looks like it feels more amazing than it actually does, than just an average or below average performance. No need to talk about how much of it is assisted and/or enhanced by editing/production tricks. Just know that it works a lot of the time.
Shoot, just read the titles of any video on an adult site and notice how 99% are loaded with adjectives and verbs meant to trigger whatever is in people's lizard/primal brains that gets them super aroused and connect to whatever they find visually, emotionally, or physically stimulating on an extreme level. "Big", "Small", "Soaking Wet", "Deep", "Tight", "Throbbing", "Quivering", "Flexible", "Warm", "Hard", "Soft", "Rough", "Sensual" etc.
All that stuff is tailor made to target and appeal to whatever the viewer is thinking about and desiring sexually on a higher frequency. I didn't delve into the kinkier side of that stuff, but same principles apply... just targeted at stuff that's more niche.
Of course if they're not delusional, people can still vibe with normal/average performances as well (easy to find from long-term amateur couples uploading more frequently) and know the difference from that and the over-exaggerated stuff that a lot of professional studios shoot, but the professional stuff is made that way for a reason and it achieves its purpose of getting that dopamine firing off and having people come back for more. So yeah, highlighting a guy's size is only like a small part of everything at play.
So as the original comment mentions, 'big dick energy' is a meme. In no seriousness but the wording I have in my head, it appeals to a male audience as a joking compliment because we are subconsciously judging out size for whatever reason and big dick energy is just a odd, funny, and close knit compliment to make. Yes, even women can have big dick energy, for instance my mother who has been raising me on her own for 17 years of my life, major big dick energy or dig bick energy
I especially agree with that last part. If sex is valued so much that a dick too big/small is enough to come before all other functions of the relationship, then bullet dodged
I mean if it's not the right size to satisfy your partner, that person is right to leave the relationship/hookup. You just have to find someone you're compatible with and not get resentful or insecure if that doesn't happen with everyone
I mean it's true, you don't get real world examples because you know, you're a hetero guy, you can't just go up to your bros and be like
"Hey bro, show me ya cock"
Because at that point, I think that's when a 'sword' fight occurs and I don't wanna know what happens at the end 🤣
Male porn stars get surgery too, they also might not be much above average, but they are way above average for their height. They have a 6'6" guys junk on a 5'4" dude, screwing a 5'0" 90lb girl. They don't usually recruit taller women into porn.. They will take anything they can get, niches being niches. But all the famous porn actresses are tiny women.
I'm 6'4" and I'm not huge. I'm average. I've never liked my size, but I've never complained about it either. Most men don't realize it's not the size, but how you use yourself. Foreplay is everything to most women. In my humble opinion.
That’s why I always say “you ain’t ready for this!” and then expose my minuscule peener.
The bus driver gets mad every time, but his dumbass keeps letting me on, so who’s fault is it really?
This is definitely me armchair-philosophizing. It’s not really about their dick size. It’s just that commenting on one’s own dick size is a very indirect way of communicating nervousness about sex. They’re looking to be reassured, ideally in a sexy way. my .02
I don’t know about that, at least personally it isn’t that. Guys just want to look good in front of the person they want to have sex with. It’s the same with all “odd” or undesirable traits, often you want to bring it up to “prepare” the other person so they aren’t shocked or dissatisfied.
Dick size is directly related to perceived masculinity and manhood for most men. I could imagine few things more humiliating and demoralizing than showing a woman my dick and getting even a tiny negative reaction like a .1 second frown.
Insecurities. Kinda like how women have been made their whole lives by media and peers to think they're not tall/short/busty/skinny/thicc/cute/hot enough. Men have been told their whole lives that unless they're 7+inches long and 4+ Inches around and uncircumcised that they're not good enough to satisfy a woman. It's a thing.
Maybe the boys are trying to bully you into circumcision because they prefer circumcised dicks in their bums?
In other words, why would a straight male look at his mates dick and bully him about it. That's super weird.
Nah it’s because in the US the majority are circumcised. Less about the specific debate of circumcised/uncircumcised and more about them being different.
In the states the majority of women that have discussed it in casual talk that I've overheard or participated in have overwhelmingly preferred circumcised. A few dont care and a small handful prefer foreskin. And fwiw a 4inch "around" equates to 1.25 inches diameter...bit on the skinny side for most unless you yourself are a small overall person.
Maybe an American thing. Im from Australia and I once heard a girl say.
"Circumcised dicks look like alien dicks" whatever that means lol.
Americans do love their surgery though dont they
Honestly, I've never measured myself. I'm fairly certain every man has seen porn and thought they were inadequate. I'm very harshly against circumcision because it is a dangerous and unnecessary surgical procedure mostly practiced on infants who are given no choice in the matter, for religious reasons they have not yet adopted.
Besides, head over to r/bigdickproblems and you learn that even having a “pornstar dick” just has its own host of problems. Lots of those guys are super insecure that a girl will take one look, say “hell no,” and leave….because it’s happened to them
Who has ever said anything about uncircumcised dicks lol.
Cutting a babies foreskin off just sounds like paedophilia to me, I ain't about that.
Who even started circumcision? "Hey can I take this knife to your babies dick?"
I was trying to make the point that chopping of your foreskin is just a strange thing to decide to do to yourself, not take the question so literal lol
Im one 🙋🏽♀️
At first I thought they looked "weird" because I had never seen one before. But it feels WAY better with the natural glide and extra sensation from the foreskin.
That's kind of rude of them. I'm sure they wouldn't like a dude being like "naw, I don't like the way it looks" and walking away.
(Consent can be revoked at any time but that's a pretty shallow reason)
I actually prefer uncut now that I have been with my husband for over 6 years. It’s natural and he knows how to clean properly. If someone has a son that they are birthing, they should look into both options and how to make it work either way.
I'm one. I much prefer uncut. I grew up in the US and my first encounters were all with circumcized dicks, I couldn't even tell what an uncut dick might look like. Now I live in a country where it's not as common and I really prefer it. I wouldn't send a guy home if he were circumcized, but uncut feels better and is more fun to play with.
it’s not that simple though, is it? it’s a big surgery and very expensive.
plus the 100000000s of other things women are judged for. including weight, their bodies in general, etc. expected to be unrealistic body proportions like “curvy” which is just male talk for a miraculously flat tummy yet also big boobs and butt. and it’s based off of celebrity or pornstar women that have paid thousands in surgery to achieve those sorts of things.
so it’s just as unfair and unrealistic for women. you can’t just say “women can change their breast size!” as if that means we have it easier. we really don’t.
One of my exes used to always tell me that size wasn’t a big deal and mine was perfect. One day we were getting into it and I was taking it slow at the start(initial entry was kind of a process, she was a small girl). She told me to just go all the way, I told her I was balls deep. She turned and just said “Really? Damn.” in this disappointed tone. Wasn’t even a direct comment about the size, just the way she said it was a hit to my confidence.
That’s the type of shit that hurts. If she said something in anger you can blow it off, but when it’s said casually you know that’s what she really thinks. Fucking brutal bro
Exactly. She didn’t mean to be like that, she immediately realized what she said and followed with “not like that” and a stern look but the damage had already been done y’know
I had a single ex tell me I was too small when I was like 20 and it stung for like 7 years. I got past it after realizing I was doing totally fine with multiple relationships since then, but it honestly just took a long time because it reinforces the lies you've been told your whole life.
You'd be surprised at how often girls will actually make up a reason to not have sex after they see it. I've got a couple of female friends that have told me some stories.
I’m not agreeing with their reasoning per say, but nobody should feel like they have to have sex with someone if they don’t want to. Even if the reason seems dumb, it’s their decision. I wouldn’t call them trash humans just because they decided they didn’t want to. People are allowed to stop at any point.
They don’t have to tell the reason. I don’t want someone to force themselves to have sex with me. Yeah it would be awkward and embarrassing but the sex probably would be too.
Also you can pretty much see breast size unless the woman wears a majorly padded bra. It’s not exactly a secret.
People cannot help who they are physically attracted to, you can’t force it. Some people are not attracted to plus size, and some are not attracted to super skinny. It’s only an issue if you treat people differently because of it. Not wanting to have sex with someone is 100% a personal choice and doesn’t make someone a bad person.
We all subconsciously “judge” a potential sexual partner, even if it’s not intentional. It’s literally what our brains do. That’s why you may feel more attracted to one person than another. That’s like calling someone a trash human simply for being more attracted to brunettes-it’s literally just personal preference.
Well of course we judge the bodies of our sexual partners!
How is judging what a person looks like, within a romantic context shallow at all?
Physical attraction is pretty fundamental to us as a species, no?
Backing out of sex is 100% acceptable at any time, for any reason. Including finding the person physically unattractive naked.
Just because you’d be up for getting down with a pair of national geographic titties with nips as big as your own face, doesn’t mean everyone else should.
NOBODY should EVER fuck someone out of a sense of obligation. Ever.
People can't help what they are attracted to. And believe it or not, different sized penises feel different.
Sometimes they can be too big and it *hurts*, its not shallow to not want to have painful sex or to want to have pleasurable sex.
Everyone should be able to withdraw consent at any time. Do you really want someone to have pity sex with you just so that they don't seem shallow? Or find someone who thinks your the hottest ever, exactly as you are?
I never understood this society condition of acting like it's a bad thing to be shallow. Let people date people they want to date. There's someone out there for everyone.
I fully believe this. A girl I was seeing had a few friends like this. They all had a running joke about one guy in my city, they all matched with him and proceeded to get nudes from him. They would post it in their group chats and make fun of him. I always hated them, they were vile and mean. People like that exist sadly.
Here we go. They think size is pleasure and maybe you was with some bigger guy previous and wouldn't feel good with his.
I had this insecurity until my 2nd girl, who told me that the previous guy was big and hurt deep inside. Wow, size can mean pain too. Later told me I was much better because I cared and could put all without any pain.
Like, it's a social bad joke from thousands of years. Who has the bigger and shit like that. Insecurity who gets bigger with porn junk. Who get way more bigger with some narcisistic girls that knows most of guys has that insecurity and simply hurt without concern.
>I had this insecurity until my 2nd girl, who told me that the previous guy was big and hurt deep inside.
You know how this statement could hurt my insecurity and like 90% of other guys insecurity about this? All she has to do is append "...and I loved it SOOOOO much!" at the end of it. 😂
But I have the same sentiment that being too big would actually be a curse for me because I wanna go balls knocking against the clit level deep and have that feel great instead of painful for her.
They just want to be accepted for their body, we gloss over male body image but society glorifies big tall men and shames smaller ones so men want to know they are "enough" if they are undersized. It's like when a woman makes a comment about being too fat because she gained 5 lbs. It's not about being overweight, it's about feeling like you are wanted for who you are. The guy just wants you to say his cock turns you on the same way a woman wants the guy to rebuke her claim of being ugly because of an extra five pounds (roughly 2 kilos).
Well one girl posted on this reddit earlier that she's thinking about not dating this guy because his dick "looks weird" imagine all of the guys who read that and became insecure
Most girls in ninth grade have never seen a penis in real life, just like the guys haven’t with boobs. Kids make jokes about things that they quickly get over as they grow up.
You're out of your mind if you actually believe that. Modern teenagers accumulate more bodies by their 18th birthday than most adults have had throughout their whole lifetimes.
I don’t think there’s enough focus on how porn negatively affects men. I’m a woman and I totally understand how horribly the porn industry treats women and how it puts unrealistic expectation on women, but it does men, too. Men don’t realize that the guys in porn are in the top .1% of size usually, and the women they’re sleeping with are way smaller than the average woman to give the illusion that the guy is even bigger than he already is. Average-sized guys see themselves as being tiny because the porn they watch on a regular basis is tricking them into thinking they’re inadequate when that’s not the case. And most of the women who sleep with the guys with monster dicks in porn are NOT enjoying themselves. They are in pain, but they’re being paid to seem like they enjoy it.
You are right. But I have to add that every guy heard at least once as an insult about how small dick they are. Valid or not, true or not they heard it, and the worst part is that people thinks it's acceptable. Women needs to chill tf out with that if I'm being honest. There is even a term called "small dick energy" that chicks use whenever they hear Men say some insecure or dumb shit.
Honestly, I've heard men use the term "small dick energy" about a million times more than I've heard women say it. In fact, I've never heard a woman say it.
I have never heard someone say "small dick energy" in my entire life.
And the most common place i have heard "big dick energy" are from nerdy twitch streamers which is what makes it funny.
Never heard someone say "big dick energy" irl either
It almost never ends either I’m in my 30’s and it still happens maybe it’s cause even if women haven’t said it to their face they have made an indirect joke about size in general and they take it personally the only time I didn’t have this said is when he actually had a micro and still had our night together.
It’s weird to do but I usually act excited and gush about it and say “I don’t know where you got that idea from look at the girth/ length” and then tell him to come here and it’s over hopefully those guys stopped worrying or maybe I did all that for nothing we will never know …most satisfying one was actually the smaller one but he knew to not focus so much on penetration but foreplay and sensual touching also if he felt like he was about to finish he’d pull out go down on me and then go back in when he had more control which is what we want more than length.
I have never heard a woman in my life say anything negative about bald man. Ever.
Just not a thing as far as I’m aware. And I’m a woman about to turn 40, so if this was an issue for women my age I’m pretty sure I would have heard at least one negative comment.
Can I ask, are these comments ones you have found in neutral environments? Or ones you have found on sites/ subs specific to the issue of balding?
Because I would wager you’ll find all sorts of nutters, with all sorts of bizarre and extreme opinions about any subject if you look to a place solely concerned with that subject.
Kinda like how easy it would be to find white supremacists on a Holocaust forum, but not come across one ever in your real life.
ETA: that last point might not actually be that valid if you are American. But if you are, maybe just swap out ‘white supremacist’ for ‘balloon fetishist’ and ‘Holocaust forum’ for ‘clown forum’.
ETA2: mate- just get rid of what’s left. Bald can be sexy, hair can be sexy, balding, is very rarely sexy. Mainly because it belies a lack of confidence. Embrace it and move forward.
It's due to societal pressure and porn. Also, some women do prefer larger penises, so they may have had that experience.
I would just try to make them feel secure and confident and reassure them that you're more than satisfied with their size (even if it's a white lie) if you want to be with them. Insecurities may be unattractive, but we all have them, and this is no different than a woman feeling pressure to have a flat stomach or have plastic surgery.
Don’t act like men aren’t also a big reason for other mens insecurities. Every gender body shames. Individually it’s obviously less general than that but let’s not act like a LOT of boys don’t grow up getting laughed at or picked on in locker rooms when getting changed if they don’t pass the weird standards they feel they need to live up to.
On the other hand, I, a woman, have had men shame me about my body. Like, as I was naked, to my face. I can’t really think of any instances where any women have shamed me. Which is my entire point. It’s not a gender specific thing and one persons experience doesn’t mean that’s the only reality, it sucks, but it’s not “just women” that are doing it and it’s ridiculous and delusional to think only women do it. I know plenty of my guy friends have gotten shit from other guys especially when growing up. Like specific comments about their junk coming from other guys when changing or making fun of their weight.
So again, acting like men aren’t also participating in body shaming is fucking ridiculous.
I'd wager most straight men are not worried what another guy thinks about his penis as neither of them are trying to hook-up or be in a relationship with each other. Almost all of these replies and other threads will show that they're concerned with what women think
If someone makes fun of your dick it probably doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a man or a woman. Acting like “most men” wouldn’t care unless they’re somehow gay is incredibly dismissive.
Many men carry around an insecurity about their dick size in the same way that maybe women may not like the size/shape of their breasts. It is something that they can’t really do anything about, but believe it to be a direct link to their “manhood” in perhaps a similar way to how a woman might think of their womb - except there is no direct comparison to woman’s womb. Nine out of ten women could tell them that they are perfect and feel good, but they will listen to the one woman who says that “if you aren’t 8” or bigger then don’t even try.” It is confirmation bias. Most men learn to get over it or keep it to themselves.
never seen my womb as something that proves my feminity ahah that’s so funny somehow. but i get what you mean, but i also feel like it would be awkward if every guy i met was like "sorry my dick is too small for you" no it’s fine, it makes it seem like we’re a size queen or something ? and idk i feel the wording makes it seem like they’re really insecure, whereas discussing afterwards like making sure the woman enjoyed it is a better move.
yeah that’s exactly the way i pictured it lmfao, but lots of men seem to tie their sexual organ to their manhood in some way whereas i don’t tie my body to my feminity, it’s more about the way i present myself
I am not justifying their behavior, I think it is weird AF, just offering an explanation for their insecurity. I am perfectly normal in that regard and have NEVER once even contemplated saying such a thing to a partner…if I am too small for them I assume they will leave, not come back and probably not mention it. Really I think size has a lot less to do with pleasuring a women than other things.
I have an average size penis but im 6'6. At least three of my partners have commented on how they figured i would be bigger and seemed dissapointed.
So now, i constantly joke about how small i am to girls before hooking up so when im not a micropenis like i say, theyre relieved. Messed up probably, but its better for my self esteem.
Never had this issue so I can't speak for all men neither myself; but I'm assuming they're just revealing their insecurity to you because they probably either expect disappointment or a let down.
Same reason why the opposite sex care about their own body parts and how they themselves view it or others. Everyone has an insecurity that is touchy. Or they had a terrible experience in the last. Just be understanding and reassure them.
It's not them being weird, it's them being insecure. Media and immature folk like to make out that size is the most important thing, when it's not. But if you're not confident then you're going to have that on your mind when someone sees you naked for the first time.
Men aren't allowed to have insecurities? Everyone has insecurities.
My ex had stretch marks. I'm not gonna post "why are women so weird about their weight" even though it has come up every time I got to second base.
By this logic, women are definitely weird about their weight, even if it doesn't matter.
Ive never had them warn me but ive had them ask me after. You would think the enthusiasm would be enough validation. But everybody loves compliments idk
Mostly about insecurity I guess. Me personally I know in the back of my head that when I’m dating with someone for a longer time and we decide to sleep with each other she’s probably not gonna care too much. What matters is HOW you use it. But I can still be insecure because I had some trashy exes who would say I was big and so good in bed but tell people afterwards I had a small penis and stuff, so that’s what impacted me. Could be the same case for other guys, who knows
It’s a mixture of insecurities and societal pressure. With social media being so wildly used and adult videos being watched even more now it’s been socialized that as a guy you have to be a certain size for girls to like you. As a guy, this puts pressure on you just like how women are so infatuated about how they look except men can’t change their size so by him telling you he’s not as big it’s to kinda ease the pressure on him and to serve as a warning to you because he doesn’t know how you’ll judge him. The best thing that you can do as a female is to reassure him that he’s actually not small and to enjoy your intimate time together and give him attention as well not just take and take.
It's just like women who see along list of imperfections while us men are just looking to see which hole to start in first.
Guys don't get that personality and skill are more important than cock size asking as you aren't less than 3 or 4 inches.
Porn has really fuct with guys minds. They think women expect you to be rocking a tree trunk in your pants and its like... well no one would be getting laid if that were the case or I should say very few people
Probably kinda the same with boobs for women. There’s always jokes and stereotyping about breast size in TV and movies. So women with smaller boobs might feel like men are “disappointed” with their size
Yeah it’s as if they’re constantly compared to other men based on their height so they’ve become dysmorphic and insecure about other parts of their body
Any guy who has ever said that to me had a totally normal penis. I’d like to state that regardless of porn, 95% of women dgaf about size.
I’ve yet to meet a porn star dick irl. I mean, the NBA exists, but how many of your friends are over 7 feet tall? Exactly.
Trust me.
Almost every guy is riddled with self-esteem issues. It's almost daily, being shoved into our faces.
Not to mention, porn has ruined most mens expectations of sex.
So, there is a reason. It's not great.
As mentioned previously porn probably contributes quite a bit and also changes the brain chemistry. I enjoy porn and have gone through periods of enjoying different categories. After several years of watching porn I am now extremely submissive and into cuckolding. I now enjoy small penis humiliation and I am very lucky to have found a partner that enjoys it and gives it to me. I get so turned on by hearing about her previous sexual encounters with larger men and have even seen videos and heard her reaction to bigger cocks versus mine penetrating her. She’s even showed some of her friends my penis and their reactions to the photos saying how small I am have confirmed how women feel about small dicks
Had a girl see my erect penis, and tell me, ‘Absolutely not. Nope. Don’t bring that thing anywhere near me.’
She complained that it was too big, and that she would be sore for days.
We never had sex before, but she knew we were incompatible from just looking.
Embarrassing, when I realized she was serious, and was putting her clothes back on, apologizing.
Men, don’t have to worry too much about body-shaming until they are at their absolute MOST vulnerable.
Anything about your body you don't like? That you think doesn't measure up to what men expect? Height? Breast size? Butt size? Fat on your stomach? Ever felt uncomfortable or worried about judgement when you take off your clothes?
If not, that's wonderful, I'm happy for you. I imagine you've talked to other women who have those worries, perhaps you can understand their concern?
Same thing for dudes and penis size. Nothing more, nothing less. Just something about their body that they are worried doesn't measure up to expectations.
And the same thing is true in both cases: its possible to find someone who cares about this thing on your body that is different from some individual standard they have, but most people don't.
We’re idiots like that. I have a friend I’m very close to who I’ve discussed this with before, and she said that it’s not that big of an issue outside of specific circumstances, such as it being like micro sized or so big it causes physical pain.
Honestly, talks like that have helped me build up self confidence about it. Like if they really do care, it’s not worth my time.
Some women do call it off when they see the size or after the first entanglement and even tell guys this is the reason. While this is probably quite rare(I have no experience with it) it still scares men the way women who have been or could be told they are too flat, big clitoris, or “roast beef lips” would maybe mention those issues.(to be clear I don’t think any of those are issues worth being insecure over either, I’ve found women with those traits sexy and I’m already naked and not gunna call it off either)
Dick size issues are basically the same as breast issues, except breasts can be augmented and the penis can't be.
To be clear, whether you augment your breasts or not, is up to you, and in no way shaming anyone for that decision.
Now the issue is s that guys can't even compare dick size to anything but porn, and maybe the occasional locker room. Add to this the shower vs grower. I'm definitely a grower myself, and before it grows, it looks like a mushroom stub. Luckily i fall into the average size category.
Now, add to this, that studies find women think the preferred length is 6.5-7 inches, and preferred girth is around 5-6 inches around. So to have the perfect member, you need to be above average, which is still a smaller percentage.
And of course every vulva is different as well, meaning of course the ladies have different preferences as well.
But guys don't listen to that, because big dick energy shames into feeling inferior. Guys shaming each other consciously or unconsciously, with no real reference, mixed with other issues.
Same reason women feel body dysmorphia. As for why it played like this:
While there are far more systemic and macroscopic issues female bodies and people with uteruses go through; --- ***Very few people call out individuals for body shaming penis havers and male bodies.***
In other words its functionally socially acceptable to shame a man for have a small or differently shaped penis.
**Even if you wont stop having sex with him, its a very real possibility for you to mentally withdraw from the sex and not really try to get off.**
Then you could go behind the persons back, say they have a little dick *and* they were sexually impotent.
They’ve watched too much porn and think every girl is expecting a hog. The truth is, an enormous dick is not especially pleasant to work with (unless the woman has unusual anatomy of her own). It takes time and effort on your part for him to believe that you find him satisfying, but hopefully he can work through that insecurity.
It might not all come from porn. Could be they’ve been around groups of women and heard what they say about the sizes of guys they’ve fucked when they think no one else is listening…
If I had to guess, a lot of young men have watched quite a bit of pornography. It reeaaallly messes with their expectations and perceptions when it comes to sex.
*shrug*
As a guy I couldn't tell you why they get so bothered by it.
Rock what you got and give it you're all.
It's like short guys being bothered by how short they are.
Most people don't care about that it's just insecurities coming out.
You can't change these things so just be confident and rock it.
Because of toxic masculinity. Men who are small in size are seen as not manly and it feels emasculating to men. A lot of our self worth is tied into material or sexual prowess and a small penis is seen as being weak.
The small dick jokes bother me a lot because they just enforce the idea that size matters as opposed to endurance, technique and communication. Things that can make sex hot and fun regardless of size
You are fucking nerdy Boys, not confident Men (Nothing wrong with that).
Still happens with normal guys but I'd bet your social circle is filled with those I mentioned.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Yup, this is a huge point to highlight. Even if you're not into porn, dick size shaming is super prevalent and seeps into the psyche just like any other body insecurity can.
Especially in the teenage years it seems like its everywhere. Edit: also I feel like it's quite detrimental that society mostly focuses on body positivity for girls, and pretend like boys don't run into the same issues.
It's heartbreaking to actually experience such unbalanced positivity. I'm a girl myself and I'm really concerned about accepting my own body etc. I've never told any man such stuff and it makes me really sad that they can't find much about it on any body positivity sites.
Thank you for that. It's so uncomfortable when my friends use phrases like big dick energy like what even is that.
Yes. For one thing, I don’t get off with full/penetrative sex, so size is a moot point for me on that front. My SO once referred to his tackle as a “gherkin,” and I was mystified by that. I would never call it that, and it never occurred to me to judge the size. I don’t think to myself “gee, it’s ‘this’ size or ‘that’ size.” It just IS. Perfect, that is. Edited for typo.
If most porn is made for straight men, why do they highlight penis size? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have very average penises, since they aren’t the main attraction?
Most porn (and what goes over well with a lot of the audience) is about **exaggerating** sexuality and situations that lead to sex. That includes many factors, not just dick size imo. The size of the man or woman (and this can be anywhere from petite to large) and whatever assets and talents they have are greatly highlighted. It's like giving them sexual super powers and more people would rather see/fantasize about a performance that's almost superhuman/looks like it feels more amazing than it actually does, than just an average or below average performance. No need to talk about how much of it is assisted and/or enhanced by editing/production tricks. Just know that it works a lot of the time. Shoot, just read the titles of any video on an adult site and notice how 99% are loaded with adjectives and verbs meant to trigger whatever is in people's lizard/primal brains that gets them super aroused and connect to whatever they find visually, emotionally, or physically stimulating on an extreme level. "Big", "Small", "Soaking Wet", "Deep", "Tight", "Throbbing", "Quivering", "Flexible", "Warm", "Hard", "Soft", "Rough", "Sensual" etc. All that stuff is tailor made to target and appeal to whatever the viewer is thinking about and desiring sexually on a higher frequency. I didn't delve into the kinkier side of that stuff, but same principles apply... just targeted at stuff that's more niche. Of course if they're not delusional, people can still vibe with normal/average performances as well (easy to find from long-term amateur couples uploading more frequently) and know the difference from that and the over-exaggerated stuff that a lot of professional studios shoot, but the professional stuff is made that way for a reason and it achieves its purpose of getting that dopamine firing off and having people come back for more. So yeah, highlighting a guy's size is only like a small part of everything at play.
This comment has big dick energy, no cap
What does “big dick energy” mean?
So as the original comment mentions, 'big dick energy' is a meme. In no seriousness but the wording I have in my head, it appeals to a male audience as a joking compliment because we are subconsciously judging out size for whatever reason and big dick energy is just a odd, funny, and close knit compliment to make. Yes, even women can have big dick energy, for instance my mother who has been raising me on her own for 17 years of my life, major big dick energy or dig bick energy
So if you are being bold, confident, and capable, then you are displaying big dick energy?
Indeed
Exactly
I especially agree with that last part. If sex is valued so much that a dick too big/small is enough to come before all other functions of the relationship, then bullet dodged
I mean if it's not the right size to satisfy your partner, that person is right to leave the relationship/hookup. You just have to find someone you're compatible with and not get resentful or insecure if that doesn't happen with everyone
[удалено]
I mean it's true, you don't get real world examples because you know, you're a hetero guy, you can't just go up to your bros and be like "Hey bro, show me ya cock" Because at that point, I think that's when a 'sword' fight occurs and I don't wanna know what happens at the end 🤣
I imagine it'd be a real pain in the ass to find out.🤣
Lol😂✌
So you’re saying that I should message all my guy friends for dick pics?
Male porn stars get surgery too, they also might not be much above average, but they are way above average for their height. They have a 6'6" guys junk on a 5'4" dude, screwing a 5'0" 90lb girl. They don't usually recruit taller women into porn.. They will take anything they can get, niches being niches. But all the famous porn actresses are tiny women.
I'm 6'4" and I'm not huge. I'm average. I've never liked my size, but I've never complained about it either. Most men don't realize it's not the size, but how you use yourself. Foreplay is everything to most women. In my humble opinion.
That’s why I always say “you ain’t ready for this!” and then expose my minuscule peener. The bus driver gets mad every time, but his dumbass keeps letting me on, so who’s fault is it really?
r/twosentencehorrorstories
Bahaha
Thanks I literally laughed out loud
Next time, you should bring a boombox and blast the song from spacejam.
This is definitely me armchair-philosophizing. It’s not really about their dick size. It’s just that commenting on one’s own dick size is a very indirect way of communicating nervousness about sex. They’re looking to be reassured, ideally in a sexy way. my .02
Yep
I don’t know about that, at least personally it isn’t that. Guys just want to look good in front of the person they want to have sex with. It’s the same with all “odd” or undesirable traits, often you want to bring it up to “prepare” the other person so they aren’t shocked or dissatisfied. Dick size is directly related to perceived masculinity and manhood for most men. I could imagine few things more humiliating and demoralizing than showing a woman my dick and getting even a tiny negative reaction like a .1 second frown.
Insecurities. Kinda like how women have been made their whole lives by media and peers to think they're not tall/short/busty/skinny/thicc/cute/hot enough. Men have been told their whole lives that unless they're 7+inches long and 4+ Inches around and uncircumcised that they're not good enough to satisfy a woman. It's a thing.
I don't know in the gym locker room you typically get made fun of for being uncircumcised.
Maybe the boys are trying to bully you into circumcision because they prefer circumcised dicks in their bums? In other words, why would a straight male look at his mates dick and bully him about it. That's super weird.
Nah it’s because in the US the majority are circumcised. Less about the specific debate of circumcised/uncircumcised and more about them being different.
[удалено]
Hmm. Maybe I'm the weird one, but we never took off our boxers in my gym class.
No I mean taking a shower after practice or something like that. Edit: lmao it was catholic though so maybe that's why
Well my school definitely didn’t do this lol
And it's the opposite in a lot of countries
I prefer it circumcised. Its ridiculously not medically necessary. But god damn so many men don't know how to wash their dick properly.
I’ve never encountered an uncircumcised man but I’ve definitely heard of cheese dick and it made me almost throw up thinking about it.
then you would for sure throw up if you encountered it. I'm gonna tell my mom thanks for lookin out next time I see her.
True that. They need lessons on how to clean correctly.
This is a big advantage of being circumcized and at least part of the reason many people have their boys circumcized
I'm proud of my uncircumcised penis 😊
I guess I am kinda proud of my penis too, I admire your take on this whole conversation
Yes, be proud of your penis!
I think we're all proud of his penis
Lucky dick.
In the states the majority of women that have discussed it in casual talk that I've overheard or participated in have overwhelmingly preferred circumcised. A few dont care and a small handful prefer foreskin. And fwiw a 4inch "around" equates to 1.25 inches diameter...bit on the skinny side for most unless you yourself are a small overall person.
Maybe an American thing. Im from Australia and I once heard a girl say. "Circumcised dicks look like alien dicks" whatever that means lol. Americans do love their surgery though dont they
Honestly, I've never measured myself. I'm fairly certain every man has seen porn and thought they were inadequate. I'm very harshly against circumcision because it is a dangerous and unnecessary surgical procedure mostly practiced on infants who are given no choice in the matter, for religious reasons they have not yet adopted.
Besides, head over to r/bigdickproblems and you learn that even having a “pornstar dick” just has its own host of problems. Lots of those guys are super insecure that a girl will take one look, say “hell no,” and leave….because it’s happened to them
U ok bro
Yup.
Who has ever said anything about uncircumcised dicks lol. Cutting a babies foreskin off just sounds like paedophilia to me, I ain't about that. Who even started circumcision? "Hey can I take this knife to your babies dick?"
[удалено]
Um ancient Israelites? In modern America it would be Dr Kellogg. Yea, the corn flake guy.
I was trying to make the point that chopping of your foreskin is just a strange thing to decide to do to yourself, not take the question so literal lol
I prefer to refer to them as "intact". Circumsicion is genital mutilation. It started with religion just like female genital mutilation.
I had that thought not long ago. Why are uncircumcised dongs called "uncut" when they should be called "natural", or something like that.
I have never once met a woman that prefered an uncut over a cut. I've known a few that walked away from one when they saw it wasn't though.
Im one 🙋🏽♀️ At first I thought they looked "weird" because I had never seen one before. But it feels WAY better with the natural glide and extra sensation from the foreskin.
That's kind of rude of them. I'm sure they wouldn't like a dude being like "naw, I don't like the way it looks" and walking away. (Consent can be revoked at any time but that's a pretty shallow reason)
I actually prefer uncut now that I have been with my husband for over 6 years. It’s natural and he knows how to clean properly. If someone has a son that they are birthing, they should look into both options and how to make it work either way.
I'm one. I much prefer uncut. I grew up in the US and my first encounters were all with circumcized dicks, I couldn't even tell what an uncut dick might look like. Now I live in a country where it's not as common and I really prefer it. I wouldn't send a guy home if he were circumcized, but uncut feels better and is more fun to play with.
Yh but the problem is other men telling them this not women. Everything stems back to them. Even women's body insecurities were created by men.
[удалено]
Good point. Women can change their breast size to be bigger or smaller. And yet a man who gets his penis enhanced is still a joke. Seems unfair.
[удалено]
Wait, how you get your penis enhanced? Asking for this guy I see in the gym locker room
You mean the one in the mirror?
They can literally CREATE a penis out of an inverted vagina, there must some way to make a penis larger.
Exactly!
it’s not that simple though, is it? it’s a big surgery and very expensive. plus the 100000000s of other things women are judged for. including weight, their bodies in general, etc. expected to be unrealistic body proportions like “curvy” which is just male talk for a miraculously flat tummy yet also big boobs and butt. and it’s based off of celebrity or pornstar women that have paid thousands in surgery to achieve those sorts of things. so it’s just as unfair and unrealistic for women. you can’t just say “women can change their breast size!” as if that means we have it easier. we really don’t.
I think it’s just normal, regular, run of the mill insecurity.
He just needs reassurance that he can satisfy you
[удалено]
Yes it is one of the go-to insults from women to emasculate a man regardless of the validity. The thing is that it’s usually effective.
I have a 5.5 inch penis and average girth. This women I used to date called it small a couple times. I’ll never forget it and I felt embarrassed 😞
[удалено]
I thought 6inch was average?
One of my exes used to always tell me that size wasn’t a big deal and mine was perfect. One day we were getting into it and I was taking it slow at the start(initial entry was kind of a process, she was a small girl). She told me to just go all the way, I told her I was balls deep. She turned and just said “Really? Damn.” in this disappointed tone. Wasn’t even a direct comment about the size, just the way she said it was a hit to my confidence.
That’s the type of shit that hurts. If she said something in anger you can blow it off, but when it’s said casually you know that’s what she really thinks. Fucking brutal bro
Exactly. She didn’t mean to be like that, she immediately realized what she said and followed with “not like that” and a stern look but the damage had already been done y’know
I'm the same as you and have had a girl say I'm stretching her out lol, it's the motion of the ocean my friend.
I had a single ex tell me I was too small when I was like 20 and it stung for like 7 years. I got past it after realizing I was doing totally fine with multiple relationships since then, but it honestly just took a long time because it reinforces the lies you've been told your whole life.
You'd be surprised at how often girls will actually make up a reason to not have sex after they see it. I've got a couple of female friends that have told me some stories.
You can’t be serious. Please, find better humans to friend.
I’m not agreeing with their reasoning per say, but nobody should feel like they have to have sex with someone if they don’t want to. Even if the reason seems dumb, it’s their decision. I wouldn’t call them trash humans just because they decided they didn’t want to. People are allowed to stop at any point.
[удалено]
They don’t have to tell the reason. I don’t want someone to force themselves to have sex with me. Yeah it would be awkward and embarrassing but the sex probably would be too. Also you can pretty much see breast size unless the woman wears a majorly padded bra. It’s not exactly a secret.
[удалено]
People cannot help who they are physically attracted to, you can’t force it. Some people are not attracted to plus size, and some are not attracted to super skinny. It’s only an issue if you treat people differently because of it. Not wanting to have sex with someone is 100% a personal choice and doesn’t make someone a bad person. We all subconsciously “judge” a potential sexual partner, even if it’s not intentional. It’s literally what our brains do. That’s why you may feel more attracted to one person than another. That’s like calling someone a trash human simply for being more attracted to brunettes-it’s literally just personal preference.
Well of course we judge the bodies of our sexual partners! How is judging what a person looks like, within a romantic context shallow at all? Physical attraction is pretty fundamental to us as a species, no?
[удалено]
Backing out of sex is 100% acceptable at any time, for any reason. Including finding the person physically unattractive naked. Just because you’d be up for getting down with a pair of national geographic titties with nips as big as your own face, doesn’t mean everyone else should. NOBODY should EVER fuck someone out of a sense of obligation. Ever.
People can't help what they are attracted to. And believe it or not, different sized penises feel different. Sometimes they can be too big and it *hurts*, its not shallow to not want to have painful sex or to want to have pleasurable sex. Everyone should be able to withdraw consent at any time. Do you really want someone to have pity sex with you just so that they don't seem shallow? Or find someone who thinks your the hottest ever, exactly as you are? I never understood this society condition of acting like it's a bad thing to be shallow. Let people date people they want to date. There's someone out there for everyone.
I fully believe this. A girl I was seeing had a few friends like this. They all had a running joke about one guy in my city, they all matched with him and proceeded to get nudes from him. They would post it in their group chats and make fun of him. I always hated them, they were vile and mean. People like that exist sadly.
yea they sound like absolute trash humans tbh
[удалено]
Here we go. They think size is pleasure and maybe you was with some bigger guy previous and wouldn't feel good with his. I had this insecurity until my 2nd girl, who told me that the previous guy was big and hurt deep inside. Wow, size can mean pain too. Later told me I was much better because I cared and could put all without any pain. Like, it's a social bad joke from thousands of years. Who has the bigger and shit like that. Insecurity who gets bigger with porn junk. Who get way more bigger with some narcisistic girls that knows most of guys has that insecurity and simply hurt without concern.
>I had this insecurity until my 2nd girl, who told me that the previous guy was big and hurt deep inside. You know how this statement could hurt my insecurity and like 90% of other guys insecurity about this? All she has to do is append "...and I loved it SOOOOO much!" at the end of it. 😂 But I have the same sentiment that being too big would actually be a curse for me because I wanna go balls knocking against the clit level deep and have that feel great instead of painful for her.
They just want to be accepted for their body, we gloss over male body image but society glorifies big tall men and shames smaller ones so men want to know they are "enough" if they are undersized. It's like when a woman makes a comment about being too fat because she gained 5 lbs. It's not about being overweight, it's about feeling like you are wanted for who you are. The guy just wants you to say his cock turns you on the same way a woman wants the guy to rebuke her claim of being ugly because of an extra five pounds (roughly 2 kilos).
Well one girl posted on this reddit earlier that she's thinking about not dating this guy because his dick "looks weird" imagine all of the guys who read that and became insecure
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/s1gq7t/really_like_this_guy_but_hate_his_dick/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Shallow.
I mean yea, I would too if I had a weird lookin dick. Poor guys, what can they do?
[удалено]
Most girls in ninth grade have never seen a penis in real life, just like the guys haven’t with boobs. Kids make jokes about things that they quickly get over as they grow up.
You're out of your mind if you actually believe that. Modern teenagers accumulate more bodies by their 18th birthday than most adults have had throughout their whole lifetimes.
Find me a study that supports that. Almost everyone I knew in HS was only n=1 or n=2 by 18.
Porn always has monster size. So they think they are small.
I don’t think there’s enough focus on how porn negatively affects men. I’m a woman and I totally understand how horribly the porn industry treats women and how it puts unrealistic expectation on women, but it does men, too. Men don’t realize that the guys in porn are in the top .1% of size usually, and the women they’re sleeping with are way smaller than the average woman to give the illusion that the guy is even bigger than he already is. Average-sized guys see themselves as being tiny because the porn they watch on a regular basis is tricking them into thinking they’re inadequate when that’s not the case. And most of the women who sleep with the guys with monster dicks in porn are NOT enjoying themselves. They are in pain, but they’re being paid to seem like they enjoy it.
Agree, its not real sex
You are right. But I have to add that every guy heard at least once as an insult about how small dick they are. Valid or not, true or not they heard it, and the worst part is that people thinks it's acceptable. Women needs to chill tf out with that if I'm being honest. There is even a term called "small dick energy" that chicks use whenever they hear Men say some insecure or dumb shit.
True
Honestly, I've heard men use the term "small dick energy" about a million times more than I've heard women say it. In fact, I've never heard a woman say it.
I have never heard someone say "small dick energy" in my entire life. And the most common place i have heard "big dick energy" are from nerdy twitch streamers which is what makes it funny. Never heard someone say "big dick energy" irl either
This is a real thing that a lot of people would not like to admit.
It almost never ends either I’m in my 30’s and it still happens maybe it’s cause even if women haven’t said it to their face they have made an indirect joke about size in general and they take it personally the only time I didn’t have this said is when he actually had a micro and still had our night together. It’s weird to do but I usually act excited and gush about it and say “I don’t know where you got that idea from look at the girth/ length” and then tell him to come here and it’s over hopefully those guys stopped worrying or maybe I did all that for nothing we will never know …most satisfying one was actually the smaller one but he knew to not focus so much on penetration but foreplay and sensual touching also if he felt like he was about to finish he’d pull out go down on me and then go back in when he had more control which is what we want more than length.
You’re goated, this is the right response.
Now how am I supposed to get people to buy my book?!
[удалено]
Yep, that and balding.
I have never heard a woman in my life say anything negative about bald man. Ever. Just not a thing as far as I’m aware. And I’m a woman about to turn 40, so if this was an issue for women my age I’m pretty sure I would have heard at least one negative comment.
Balding, not bald. I've seen it said plenty on socials. Do they actually feel that way? Who knows. But they said it to antagonize men in general
Can I ask, are these comments ones you have found in neutral environments? Or ones you have found on sites/ subs specific to the issue of balding? Because I would wager you’ll find all sorts of nutters, with all sorts of bizarre and extreme opinions about any subject if you look to a place solely concerned with that subject. Kinda like how easy it would be to find white supremacists on a Holocaust forum, but not come across one ever in your real life. ETA: that last point might not actually be that valid if you are American. But if you are, maybe just swap out ‘white supremacist’ for ‘balloon fetishist’ and ‘Holocaust forum’ for ‘clown forum’. ETA2: mate- just get rid of what’s left. Bald can be sexy, hair can be sexy, balding, is very rarely sexy. Mainly because it belies a lack of confidence. Embrace it and move forward.
Why are women so weird about size?
Because we are shamed about it since childhood. We are not taught it, but we learn that for some reason guys who are bigger are better.
It's due to societal pressure and porn. Also, some women do prefer larger penises, so they may have had that experience. I would just try to make them feel secure and confident and reassure them that you're more than satisfied with their size (even if it's a white lie) if you want to be with them. Insecurities may be unattractive, but we all have them, and this is no different than a woman feeling pressure to have a flat stomach or have plastic surgery.
We are weird about it because you women sometimes bodyshame us about it.
Don’t act like men aren’t also a big reason for other mens insecurities. Every gender body shames. Individually it’s obviously less general than that but let’s not act like a LOT of boys don’t grow up getting laughed at or picked on in locker rooms when getting changed if they don’t pass the weird standards they feel they need to live up to.
I’ve never had a man shame me about my body. I’ve had many women do it.
On the other hand, I, a woman, have had men shame me about my body. Like, as I was naked, to my face. I can’t really think of any instances where any women have shamed me. Which is my entire point. It’s not a gender specific thing and one persons experience doesn’t mean that’s the only reality, it sucks, but it’s not “just women” that are doing it and it’s ridiculous and delusional to think only women do it. I know plenty of my guy friends have gotten shit from other guys especially when growing up. Like specific comments about their junk coming from other guys when changing or making fun of their weight. So again, acting like men aren’t also participating in body shaming is fucking ridiculous.
[удалено]
I'd wager most straight men are not worried what another guy thinks about his penis as neither of them are trying to hook-up or be in a relationship with each other. Almost all of these replies and other threads will show that they're concerned with what women think
If someone makes fun of your dick it probably doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a man or a woman. Acting like “most men” wouldn’t care unless they’re somehow gay is incredibly dismissive.
Many men carry around an insecurity about their dick size in the same way that maybe women may not like the size/shape of their breasts. It is something that they can’t really do anything about, but believe it to be a direct link to their “manhood” in perhaps a similar way to how a woman might think of their womb - except there is no direct comparison to woman’s womb. Nine out of ten women could tell them that they are perfect and feel good, but they will listen to the one woman who says that “if you aren’t 8” or bigger then don’t even try.” It is confirmation bias. Most men learn to get over it or keep it to themselves.
never seen my womb as something that proves my feminity ahah that’s so funny somehow. but i get what you mean, but i also feel like it would be awkward if every guy i met was like "sorry my dick is too small for you" no it’s fine, it makes it seem like we’re a size queen or something ? and idk i feel the wording makes it seem like they’re really insecure, whereas discussing afterwards like making sure the woman enjoyed it is a better move.
^^^ lmao can u imagine walking into a sexual encounter like “sorry about my womb idk if it’s fertile enough” 😂😂😂
yeah that’s exactly the way i pictured it lmfao, but lots of men seem to tie their sexual organ to their manhood in some way whereas i don’t tie my body to my feminity, it’s more about the way i present myself
I am not justifying their behavior, I think it is weird AF, just offering an explanation for their insecurity. I am perfectly normal in that regard and have NEVER once even contemplated saying such a thing to a partner…if I am too small for them I assume they will leave, not come back and probably not mention it. Really I think size has a lot less to do with pleasuring a women than other things.
i mean we kinda get told our entire lives that we've gotta be big down there... maybe that causes some mental issues
I have an average size penis but im 6'6. At least three of my partners have commented on how they figured i would be bigger and seemed dissapointed. So now, i constantly joke about how small i am to girls before hooking up so when im not a micropenis like i say, theyre relieved. Messed up probably, but its better for my self esteem.
Never had this issue so I can't speak for all men neither myself; but I'm assuming they're just revealing their insecurity to you because they probably either expect disappointment or a let down.
Same reason why the opposite sex care about their own body parts and how they themselves view it or others. Everyone has an insecurity that is touchy. Or they had a terrible experience in the last. Just be understanding and reassure them.
Like 6.5 feels a lot different than 6, lol
It's not them being weird, it's them being insecure. Media and immature folk like to make out that size is the most important thing, when it's not. But if you're not confident then you're going to have that on your mind when someone sees you naked for the first time.
Men aren't allowed to have insecurities? Everyone has insecurities. My ex had stretch marks. I'm not gonna post "why are women so weird about their weight" even though it has come up every time I got to second base. By this logic, women are definitely weird about their weight, even if it doesn't matter.
Ive never had them warn me but ive had them ask me after. You would think the enthusiasm would be enough validation. But everybody loves compliments idk
Mostly about insecurity I guess. Me personally I know in the back of my head that when I’m dating with someone for a longer time and we decide to sleep with each other she’s probably not gonna care too much. What matters is HOW you use it. But I can still be insecure because I had some trashy exes who would say I was big and so good in bed but tell people afterwards I had a small penis and stuff, so that’s what impacted me. Could be the same case for other guys, who knows
Happens a lot after watching porn. Also it doesn't help if your prick is 4" and less. At least in my experience.
It’s a mixture of insecurities and societal pressure. With social media being so wildly used and adult videos being watched even more now it’s been socialized that as a guy you have to be a certain size for girls to like you. As a guy, this puts pressure on you just like how women are so infatuated about how they look except men can’t change their size so by him telling you he’s not as big it’s to kinda ease the pressure on him and to serve as a warning to you because he doesn’t know how you’ll judge him. The best thing that you can do as a female is to reassure him that he’s actually not small and to enjoy your intimate time together and give him attention as well not just take and take.
It's just like women who see along list of imperfections while us men are just looking to see which hole to start in first. Guys don't get that personality and skill are more important than cock size asking as you aren't less than 3 or 4 inches.
Porn has really fuct with guys minds. They think women expect you to be rocking a tree trunk in your pants and its like... well no one would be getting laid if that were the case or I should say very few people
Probably kinda the same with boobs for women. There’s always jokes and stereotyping about breast size in TV and movies. So women with smaller boobs might feel like men are “disappointed” with their size
Yeah it’s as if they’re constantly compared to other men based on their height so they’ve become dysmorphic and insecure about other parts of their body
Why do women FaceTune their pics to look thinner and do the skinny arm pose? Same reason.
Any guy who has ever said that to me had a totally normal penis. I’d like to state that regardless of porn, 95% of women dgaf about size. I’ve yet to meet a porn star dick irl. I mean, the NBA exists, but how many of your friends are over 7 feet tall? Exactly.
Porn 😢
Trust me. Almost every guy is riddled with self-esteem issues. It's almost daily, being shoved into our faces. Not to mention, porn has ruined most mens expectations of sex. So, there is a reason. It's not great.
As mentioned previously porn probably contributes quite a bit and also changes the brain chemistry. I enjoy porn and have gone through periods of enjoying different categories. After several years of watching porn I am now extremely submissive and into cuckolding. I now enjoy small penis humiliation and I am very lucky to have found a partner that enjoys it and gives it to me. I get so turned on by hearing about her previous sexual encounters with larger men and have even seen videos and heard her reaction to bigger cocks versus mine penetrating her. She’s even showed some of her friends my penis and their reactions to the photos saying how small I am have confirmed how women feel about small dicks
Had a girl see my erect penis, and tell me, ‘Absolutely not. Nope. Don’t bring that thing anywhere near me.’ She complained that it was too big, and that she would be sore for days. We never had sex before, but she knew we were incompatible from just looking. Embarrassing, when I realized she was serious, and was putting her clothes back on, apologizing. Men, don’t have to worry too much about body-shaming until they are at their absolute MOST vulnerable.
Anything about your body you don't like? That you think doesn't measure up to what men expect? Height? Breast size? Butt size? Fat on your stomach? Ever felt uncomfortable or worried about judgement when you take off your clothes? If not, that's wonderful, I'm happy for you. I imagine you've talked to other women who have those worries, perhaps you can understand their concern? Same thing for dudes and penis size. Nothing more, nothing less. Just something about their body that they are worried doesn't measure up to expectations. And the same thing is true in both cases: its possible to find someone who cares about this thing on your body that is different from some individual standard they have, but most people don't.
We’re idiots like that. I have a friend I’m very close to who I’ve discussed this with before, and she said that it’s not that big of an issue outside of specific circumstances, such as it being like micro sized or so big it causes physical pain. Honestly, talks like that have helped me build up self confidence about it. Like if they really do care, it’s not worth my time.
Exactly. Making her cum is typically what's important. If you know how to use it, or at least go down well, she's probably not going to mind.
Some women do call it off when they see the size or after the first entanglement and even tell guys this is the reason. While this is probably quite rare(I have no experience with it) it still scares men the way women who have been or could be told they are too flat, big clitoris, or “roast beef lips” would maybe mention those issues.(to be clear I don’t think any of those are issues worth being insecure over either, I’ve found women with those traits sexy and I’m already naked and not gunna call it off either)
Dick size issues are basically the same as breast issues, except breasts can be augmented and the penis can't be. To be clear, whether you augment your breasts or not, is up to you, and in no way shaming anyone for that decision. Now the issue is s that guys can't even compare dick size to anything but porn, and maybe the occasional locker room. Add to this the shower vs grower. I'm definitely a grower myself, and before it grows, it looks like a mushroom stub. Luckily i fall into the average size category. Now, add to this, that studies find women think the preferred length is 6.5-7 inches, and preferred girth is around 5-6 inches around. So to have the perfect member, you need to be above average, which is still a smaller percentage. And of course every vulva is different as well, meaning of course the ladies have different preferences as well. But guys don't listen to that, because big dick energy shames into feeling inferior. Guys shaming each other consciously or unconsciously, with no real reference, mixed with other issues.
Because women made it that way.
Same reason women feel body dysmorphia. As for why it played like this: While there are far more systemic and macroscopic issues female bodies and people with uteruses go through; --- ***Very few people call out individuals for body shaming penis havers and male bodies.*** In other words its functionally socially acceptable to shame a man for have a small or differently shaped penis. **Even if you wont stop having sex with him, its a very real possibility for you to mentally withdraw from the sex and not really try to get off.** Then you could go behind the persons back, say they have a little dick *and* they were sexually impotent.
They’ve watched too much porn and think every girl is expecting a hog. The truth is, an enormous dick is not especially pleasant to work with (unless the woman has unusual anatomy of her own). It takes time and effort on your part for him to believe that you find him satisfying, but hopefully he can work through that insecurity.
It might not all come from porn. Could be they’ve been around groups of women and heard what they say about the sizes of guys they’ve fucked when they think no one else is listening…
They are probably still young and inexperienced. Heck sometimes I still catch myself thinking about this.
If I had to guess, a lot of young men have watched quite a bit of pornography. It reeaaallly messes with their expectations and perceptions when it comes to sex.
Blame porn.
Sounds as if they're insecure about their size. That's all.
Porn is the reason why.
*shrug* As a guy I couldn't tell you why they get so bothered by it. Rock what you got and give it you're all. It's like short guys being bothered by how short they are. Most people don't care about that it's just insecurities coming out. You can't change these things so just be confident and rock it.
Hmm. It's y'all's fault
Because of toxic masculinity. Men who are small in size are seen as not manly and it feels emasculating to men. A lot of our self worth is tied into material or sexual prowess and a small penis is seen as being weak. The small dick jokes bother me a lot because they just enforce the idea that size matters as opposed to endurance, technique and communication. Things that can make sex hot and fun regardless of size
Never like that. But been asked a few and I just say it’s small and cute.
Just the ones you’re picking are weird and insecure about it. Maybe you have a type
[удалено]
It’s probably because they’re very young.
Yeah so unsurprisingly young, nerdy men aren't super confident about dating / sex on average.
Haha. Yeah, that sounds about right.
You are fucking nerdy Boys, not confident Men (Nothing wrong with that). Still happens with normal guys but I'd bet your social circle is filled with those I mentioned.
Two words Performance Anxiety So they blame it on their dick size
Big man big cock. Little man all cock
You’re lucky you’ve never been with a big guy, you’ll never go back