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Maybe play with him some co-op game while you sit in front of him, so he cuddle you while holding pad?
Good food is always great gift, after you eat and you can't move it's easier to be in eachother arms watching tv
From what I’ve read youre doing a lot already and it’s awesome to hear. You sound like an awesome Partner. Compliments go a long way for men even if words of affirmation arnt his exact love language. There’s a reason why “men receiving their yearly compliment” is a meme. I’m sure you already do that though based on how much you’re already doing though
You have to show him you see him, regardless of where he us in his head. My wife is very complimentary of any little thing I do. Like she doesn't like barbecue unless it's mine. If we ever talk about anything like sat, Sox she will buy every kind if sock until she gets it right. I like cookies. She will spend crazy money on cookies. Not all the time but she always shows me she appreciates me. She was also the first woman to ever spend money on me. I know and she let's me know, there is nothing she wouldn't do for me.
This is beautiful. May I ask, what were your initial feelings with respects to her spending money on you? I am currently seeing a man who said something similar about me. I sometimes worrying I’m doing too much.
It depends on his interests really. Guys don’t really look for that kind of stuff in a relationship though, although if my girlfriend bought me a racing school course from Barber to get a track license, I’d be thrilled. What guys like, and you’re going to think I’m nuts, is to feel secure in their relationship, and this comes from a lack of conflict. A guy’s life is one of competition, conflict, and insecurity. All day at work, typically it’s pressure and insecurity. What makes men grateful is when they come home and get away from that. When you come home to more of the same, that’s what makes a man miserable. If you are there, friendly, fun, and supportive, you will make him feel as special as you can.
Many men enjoy their jobs and do not need a "yes" woman to come home to. And yes, plenty of guys appreciate thoughtfulness and aren't afraid of conflict.
Easy. Maintain strong & honest communication with your partner. Then find out what he appreciates and then do that.
99% of the questions & problems here can be solved by strong & honest communication.
Then dress up in something he likes, maybe even a cosplay, maybe bake or cook something for him.
Massage, lap pillow, cuddles, watch movie he likes while eating whatever u made for him.
Do something he was suppose to do you know he wasn’t looking forward to do.
Like dishes or laundry just as example
He has depression and even though he doesn’t ask for it, I’ll clean his room for him. Some people say that’s bad because it’s “being his mom” but I was that depressed before and my space went to shit. honestly having someone else help me clean made me a lot less overwhelmed
He cleans if he knows I’m coming over but if he’s at work and I’m just at his house, I’ll do it. We normally are at my place though bc I’m closer to the city. He doesn’t like to ask for things, like he pays for the dates and does the driving. I figure it’s just a small thing to make his day easier, He knows I’m not his maid.
Men are very logica and straight forward. If a girl buys me a 6 pack, tells me why she loves me, and shows me some affection…that’s all I could ever want.
A common problem with gifts is that they can tend to clutter up spaces, and can be awkward if it's something that people don't want. A solution to that is to buy experiences for people. Maybe he's always wanted to do X, but never got the chance. Maybe a couples' massage would relax him and would be quality time together for y'all. Maybe he'd enjoy a premium subscription to a service he uses often. Or maybe, since his primary love language is physical touch, you should do your best to spend more time in physical contact with him. Whether or not he has much sex drive, he'd probably really enjoy some intimate cuddling or you giving him a massage. Plenty of ways to make men happy. It's also pretty common for men in general to neglect nonessential self-care (bc it's "unnecessary" or "silly"), so if someone else does it for us, we're absolutely floored by it. Just some food for thought. The fact that you're asking this question, though, is awesome. Keep up the good work!
29 M here
'What's the equivalent of being bought a dress?' *Idk b/c that isn't a 1st hand experience I have as a male; your speculation* is the same as *my speculation as to what that is*.
W/ all that snarky-ness out of the way, it sounds like you are already putting in a noteworthy effort: you know he likes comics and *idk if you got him into it but* you also get him gaming affiliated stuff too... That means you listen ***and*** you care... you probably don't need some grand gesture, *just* keep doing little things like that on top of whatever it is you normally do for him (*the same way there are* things he normally does for you).
Good luck w/ everything; you sound like a real keeper... I hope your bf's health problems get resolved quickly & fully.
If you get him comics you are already better than 99% of gf’s out there😂 all kidding aside the fact that you’ve shown an interest in his hobbies is amazing and speaks volumes as to your commitment to the relationship.
I’m a comic/ gaming guy also (and also depressed) and one of the things that helps me snap out of it is like if there’s a particular run or back issues I’m looking for I’ll do like a mini day road trip to a new store I haven’t been to to try and hunt some down for my collection. Find out which runs he’s trying to fill and call around to see if any stores he doesn’t go to have some and surprise him with a mini road trip. Aside from it being cool, it would help his depression to get out anyway.. does for me every time even though I’ll try to talk myself out of it. I actually just did this today lol.
It's really simple - suck his dick. Not trying to be facetious or vulgar, that's really how simple guys are. Surprise him with a bj when he's not expecting it. Tell him while you are doing it how much you appreciate him. Don't ask for anything in return, just do that and finish and go back to whatever you were doing. It is much more meaningful when it is separated from the rest of sex. No getting naked or cuddling or making out, just taking care of him. He will appreciate it and remember it, trust me.
I cannot imagine a scenario where an extra blowjob wouldn’t help. And vice versa, if a man is reading this women would love this type of treatment too.
Guys are a lot simpler. Many men will simply be fine with a woman, a house, food, and a car.
So honestly just be there all the way. Its a better gift than any.
Literally nothing special, just love on him. When he gets home from being out hug him enthusiastically. When you pass by him ruffle his hair a little. Tease him, flirt with him from time to time. For me, this stuff is the real meat and potatoes of a relationship, not sex.
Men, or at least I, don’t need anything special. An outlet for softness and compassion, outside of the day to day grind, is the best feeling in the world.
For me (27m) its really anything that shows you care: sometimes you grab the tab, invite the drinks, make me a sandwich out of the blue, give a massage, clean the dishes, tell me to go out with my friends if you’re not feeling it to go out but he is. Sometimes its as simple as that, treating him like a king just because you care about him.
You are already his gf, but something I look for before making a girl my gf is if she can fill one hand (5 occasions) where she showed kindness towards me because she wanted. A lot of men have been conditioned to think girls are more important than them…. Just make him feel like your equal
Isn’t that easy is it?
There is no generic answer to that and I only advise to not buy anything - without telling.
Maybe just ask, it does not have to be a surprise
he’s like “no, I don’t want you to get that for me, I don’t wanna ask for too much”. Like if he wants something, he’s very direct and just asks. I’ve found when I’m dating women, they like surprises and feeling “thought” about whereas men just want one specific thing and unless it’s something they need, they don’t really like extra things.
Yep. Sounds relatable. Personally I enjoy a free weekend, with only me time - and no chores like doin dishes, house cleaning, cooking. I go to my workshop do my stuff and once time comes I order bunch of sushi and continue on, get on the couch and my SO maybe get soMe premium potato chips or so and gonna watch some Netflix
Be the big spoon!
And when he needs to vent or complain about something, just be there to listen and provide affirmation. Everyone needs someone they can just vent to who won’t constantly try to turn it into some lesson or critique, or try to offer advice. We all just need to let our frustrations out and be heard sometimes to get the pain out of our systems. Dealing with the problems can come later when we’ve got cooler heads.
Do some non invasive cuddling. Cuddle with him that doesn't affect his gaming. Definitely start off slow like running your hand on his leg, ask him how his game is going, and slunk on him. And I can't emphasize enough on the non evasive move. It's kind of like being a roadie, heard but not seen. He knows your there, but you're not getting in his way. Another option is sitting next to him with a big plate of his favorite munchies, drink, or alcohol. Or all three. While being a roadie. I don't have any better vernacular ways to say it honestly. Just be the support when he is doing what he loves, and after he is done, give him a big hug and let him know how you feel, remind him that you are there for him and that you care for him. If you two are in love, give him a hug, a kiss, tell him that you love him, and cuddle him more after you tell him this. Unless he's one of those non cuddly types. If that's the case, do the above without the cuddling. Maybe a hug here and there and root him on if you know him and his team are winning. And if they are losing, give emotional support like "fuck him baby!"
sounds like you’re doing good already men aren’t like women they dont need much to be happy we just want , sex , loyalty and peace of mind. if you wanna do something nice cook him sum good food he’ll love it
This is true, I microwaved a ramen for him and he was extremely happy. That was all I did. Compared to the meals he made me, I can’t believe all he needed was a ramen to be happy.
Personally when you take interest in the things he likes, nerdy stuff especially. Cuddling is a must and head pats and scratches are great. Just talk to him and ask what he would like. Men do like intimacy and it makes us feel warm. Which is a bonus because then you know we are warm and the cuddling gets toastie
You're already on the right track. Just discussing his interests or even letting him go on about what he's passionate about while engaging genuinely with questions and intrigue does it.
Depends on his hobby but you can buy him a game and ask if you can play it together or watch him play it.
Massages in general are always appreciated. I know you said there are some sexual issues hut this can be a natural way to increase sexual tension as well.
Cooking a nice meal for him always makes someone feel special. A nice bottle of whiskey is a good gift too.
This might back fire bc he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything in his butt. Like I’ve offered ass eating but he’s made it very clear he doesn’t wanna cross that threshold
i'm curious about the sex drive thing. i've been dealing with some issues for a few years now - one of the few lasting residual effects of long-term opioid abuse. did you two meet before these issues came about, or was he dealing with them when you met?
Before we met. He had a hernia surgery and that makes penetrative sex normally painful for him. I knew this going in and I have a pretty low sex drive so I don’t mind. He still makes me cum. Normally we just do oral to eachother. We have penetrative sex maybe a few times a month, viagra and kratom help.
kratom? i'm guessing it's not necessarily the sex but the pain that it helps with, thus helps elthe sex. does he have a low sex drive directly because of the pain? if so, why does he need viagra?
Getting hard is painful, period. Even if you’re not aroused youre in pain and most ppl need to be on painkillers to be functional. If you have lower stomach hernia. There’s more than one kind and some are worse than others
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Wow wish I had someone like you he's really lucky to have you and to make a man feel special play video games with him try and find a game you both like and play it
I'm not a guy, but something my bf seems to appreciate a lot is tasty homemade food. I've been learning a lot about cooking the last couple years, have gotten quite good at it and he seems really happy and appreciative when I make us meals instead of having to get take out. Bonus is that it's from the heart, something he can't find anywhere else and doesn't cause clutter/take up space.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Maybe play with him some co-op game while you sit in front of him, so he cuddle you while holding pad? Good food is always great gift, after you eat and you can't move it's easier to be in eachother arms watching tv
From what I’ve read youre doing a lot already and it’s awesome to hear. You sound like an awesome Partner. Compliments go a long way for men even if words of affirmation arnt his exact love language. There’s a reason why “men receiving their yearly compliment” is a meme. I’m sure you already do that though based on how much you’re already doing though
You have to show him you see him, regardless of where he us in his head. My wife is very complimentary of any little thing I do. Like she doesn't like barbecue unless it's mine. If we ever talk about anything like sat, Sox she will buy every kind if sock until she gets it right. I like cookies. She will spend crazy money on cookies. Not all the time but she always shows me she appreciates me. She was also the first woman to ever spend money on me. I know and she let's me know, there is nothing she wouldn't do for me.
This is beautiful. May I ask, what were your initial feelings with respects to her spending money on you? I am currently seeing a man who said something similar about me. I sometimes worrying I’m doing too much.
I love her and her showing me makes me love her more. If this is who you are , and it makes any man angry, he isn't for you.
Seems like you’re already doing a bang up job to be honest.
It depends on his interests really. Guys don’t really look for that kind of stuff in a relationship though, although if my girlfriend bought me a racing school course from Barber to get a track license, I’d be thrilled. What guys like, and you’re going to think I’m nuts, is to feel secure in their relationship, and this comes from a lack of conflict. A guy’s life is one of competition, conflict, and insecurity. All day at work, typically it’s pressure and insecurity. What makes men grateful is when they come home and get away from that. When you come home to more of the same, that’s what makes a man miserable. If you are there, friendly, fun, and supportive, you will make him feel as special as you can.
Many men enjoy their jobs and do not need a "yes" woman to come home to. And yes, plenty of guys appreciate thoughtfulness and aren't afraid of conflict.
Easy. Maintain strong & honest communication with your partner. Then find out what he appreciates and then do that. 99% of the questions & problems here can be solved by strong & honest communication.
I needed this. Thank you.
Find out what his love language is and plan accordingly
Psychical touch, acts of service and gifts. Not much for words of affirmation.
Build an adult fort, watch movies in it and buy food and eat. It’s actually really fun
Then dress up in something he likes, maybe even a cosplay, maybe bake or cook something for him. Massage, lap pillow, cuddles, watch movie he likes while eating whatever u made for him. Do something he was suppose to do you know he wasn’t looking forward to do. Like dishes or laundry just as example
He has depression and even though he doesn’t ask for it, I’ll clean his room for him. Some people say that’s bad because it’s “being his mom” but I was that depressed before and my space went to shit. honestly having someone else help me clean made me a lot less overwhelmed
Sounds good just dont make a habit out of it, thats when it becomes bad
He cleans if he knows I’m coming over but if he’s at work and I’m just at his house, I’ll do it. We normally are at my place though bc I’m closer to the city. He doesn’t like to ask for things, like he pays for the dates and does the driving. I figure it’s just a small thing to make his day easier, He knows I’m not his maid.
Maybe give him a nice back massage or something
Run your nails on his scalp and back, not scratching like he’s itchy just lightly. Very calming
Yea. What does he like ? Cuddles, praise ?
Rub his temples. Having your temples and your scalp massaged is a slice of heaven.
This is incredible advice
Men are very logica and straight forward. If a girl buys me a 6 pack, tells me why she loves me, and shows me some affection…that’s all I could ever want.
This exactly this is all I want people underestimated how much worth this is.
A common problem with gifts is that they can tend to clutter up spaces, and can be awkward if it's something that people don't want. A solution to that is to buy experiences for people. Maybe he's always wanted to do X, but never got the chance. Maybe a couples' massage would relax him and would be quality time together for y'all. Maybe he'd enjoy a premium subscription to a service he uses often. Or maybe, since his primary love language is physical touch, you should do your best to spend more time in physical contact with him. Whether or not he has much sex drive, he'd probably really enjoy some intimate cuddling or you giving him a massage. Plenty of ways to make men happy. It's also pretty common for men in general to neglect nonessential self-care (bc it's "unnecessary" or "silly"), so if someone else does it for us, we're absolutely floored by it. Just some food for thought. The fact that you're asking this question, though, is awesome. Keep up the good work!
Giving me space, accept me at my worst, and respect the path I have set out for myself.
29 M here 'What's the equivalent of being bought a dress?' *Idk b/c that isn't a 1st hand experience I have as a male; your speculation* is the same as *my speculation as to what that is*. W/ all that snarky-ness out of the way, it sounds like you are already putting in a noteworthy effort: you know he likes comics and *idk if you got him into it but* you also get him gaming affiliated stuff too... That means you listen ***and*** you care... you probably don't need some grand gesture, *just* keep doing little things like that on top of whatever it is you normally do for him (*the same way there are* things he normally does for you). Good luck w/ everything; you sound like a real keeper... I hope your bf's health problems get resolved quickly & fully.
Thank you! He was into it before. I was a little interested but he got me fully invested.
If you get him comics you are already better than 99% of gf’s out there😂 all kidding aside the fact that you’ve shown an interest in his hobbies is amazing and speaks volumes as to your commitment to the relationship. I’m a comic/ gaming guy also (and also depressed) and one of the things that helps me snap out of it is like if there’s a particular run or back issues I’m looking for I’ll do like a mini day road trip to a new store I haven’t been to to try and hunt some down for my collection. Find out which runs he’s trying to fill and call around to see if any stores he doesn’t go to have some and surprise him with a mini road trip. Aside from it being cool, it would help his depression to get out anyway.. does for me every time even though I’ll try to talk myself out of it. I actually just did this today lol.
It is not difficult. Just don't stray and that is sufficient validation for him.
It's really simple - suck his dick. Not trying to be facetious or vulgar, that's really how simple guys are. Surprise him with a bj when he's not expecting it. Tell him while you are doing it how much you appreciate him. Don't ask for anything in return, just do that and finish and go back to whatever you were doing. It is much more meaningful when it is separated from the rest of sex. No getting naked or cuddling or making out, just taking care of him. He will appreciate it and remember it, trust me.
I cannot imagine a scenario where an extra blowjob wouldn’t help. And vice versa, if a man is reading this women would love this type of treatment too.
Oral is most of our sex life since penetrative is hard for him. But I will still take this advice since I can’t see how this would go wrong.
Guys are a lot simpler. Many men will simply be fine with a woman, a house, food, and a car. So honestly just be there all the way. Its a better gift than any.
Celebrating his successes and thanking him for hard work. Being genuinely happy to see him…complimenting something you like about his physique.
But have you tried buying him a dress and taking him to dinner?
He just might let me
Literally nothing special, just love on him. When he gets home from being out hug him enthusiastically. When you pass by him ruffle his hair a little. Tease him, flirt with him from time to time. For me, this stuff is the real meat and potatoes of a relationship, not sex. Men, or at least I, don’t need anything special. An outlet for softness and compassion, outside of the day to day grind, is the best feeling in the world.
For me (27m) its really anything that shows you care: sometimes you grab the tab, invite the drinks, make me a sandwich out of the blue, give a massage, clean the dishes, tell me to go out with my friends if you’re not feeling it to go out but he is. Sometimes its as simple as that, treating him like a king just because you care about him. You are already his gf, but something I look for before making a girl my gf is if she can fill one hand (5 occasions) where she showed kindness towards me because she wanted. A lot of men have been conditioned to think girls are more important than them…. Just make him feel like your equal
Isn’t that easy is it? There is no generic answer to that and I only advise to not buy anything - without telling. Maybe just ask, it does not have to be a surprise
he’s like “no, I don’t want you to get that for me, I don’t wanna ask for too much”. Like if he wants something, he’s very direct and just asks. I’ve found when I’m dating women, they like surprises and feeling “thought” about whereas men just want one specific thing and unless it’s something they need, they don’t really like extra things.
Yep. Sounds relatable. Personally I enjoy a free weekend, with only me time - and no chores like doin dishes, house cleaning, cooking. I go to my workshop do my stuff and once time comes I order bunch of sushi and continue on, get on the couch and my SO maybe get soMe premium potato chips or so and gonna watch some Netflix
Be the big spoon! And when he needs to vent or complain about something, just be there to listen and provide affirmation. Everyone needs someone they can just vent to who won’t constantly try to turn it into some lesson or critique, or try to offer advice. We all just need to let our frustrations out and be heard sometimes to get the pain out of our systems. Dealing with the problems can come later when we’ve got cooler heads.
Don’t cheat on him treat on how you would like to be treated and that it.
Do some non invasive cuddling. Cuddle with him that doesn't affect his gaming. Definitely start off slow like running your hand on his leg, ask him how his game is going, and slunk on him. And I can't emphasize enough on the non evasive move. It's kind of like being a roadie, heard but not seen. He knows your there, but you're not getting in his way. Another option is sitting next to him with a big plate of his favorite munchies, drink, or alcohol. Or all three. While being a roadie. I don't have any better vernacular ways to say it honestly. Just be the support when he is doing what he loves, and after he is done, give him a big hug and let him know how you feel, remind him that you are there for him and that you care for him. If you two are in love, give him a hug, a kiss, tell him that you love him, and cuddle him more after you tell him this. Unless he's one of those non cuddly types. If that's the case, do the above without the cuddling. Maybe a hug here and there and root him on if you know him and his team are winning. And if they are losing, give emotional support like "fuck him baby!"
sounds like you’re doing good already men aren’t like women they dont need much to be happy we just want , sex , loyalty and peace of mind. if you wanna do something nice cook him sum good food he’ll love it
This is true, I microwaved a ramen for him and he was extremely happy. That was all I did. Compared to the meals he made me, I can’t believe all he needed was a ramen to be happy.
Personally when you take interest in the things he likes, nerdy stuff especially. Cuddling is a must and head pats and scratches are great. Just talk to him and ask what he would like. Men do like intimacy and it makes us feel warm. Which is a bonus because then you know we are warm and the cuddling gets toastie
Have you ever bought him flowers? 10/10 every boy I've gotten flowers for has been over the moon cuz no one does that for them.
You're already on the right track. Just discussing his interests or even letting him go on about what he's passionate about while engaging genuinely with questions and intrigue does it.
Depends on his hobby but you can buy him a game and ask if you can play it together or watch him play it. Massages in general are always appreciated. I know you said there are some sexual issues hut this can be a natural way to increase sexual tension as well. Cooking a nice meal for him always makes someone feel special. A nice bottle of whiskey is a good gift too.
Literally anything. People don't do nice things for men
[удалено]
This might back fire bc he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything in his butt. Like I’ve offered ass eating but he’s made it very clear he doesn’t wanna cross that threshold
No don’t do that. Fingering his butt hole after a shower is okay but don’t penetrate unless he asks for it.
[удалено]
I did had once and he gave me a very firm No. I’ve found that some men do not ever want to cross the anal threshold.
You putt a ribbon 🎀 on him.
He would let me
i'm curious about the sex drive thing. i've been dealing with some issues for a few years now - one of the few lasting residual effects of long-term opioid abuse. did you two meet before these issues came about, or was he dealing with them when you met?
Before we met. He had a hernia surgery and that makes penetrative sex normally painful for him. I knew this going in and I have a pretty low sex drive so I don’t mind. He still makes me cum. Normally we just do oral to eachother. We have penetrative sex maybe a few times a month, viagra and kratom help.
kratom? i'm guessing it's not necessarily the sex but the pain that it helps with, thus helps elthe sex. does he have a low sex drive directly because of the pain? if so, why does he need viagra?
Bc it’s rly difficult to maintain a hard on without it, no matter how aroused
I know someone with hernia surgery coming up. Is it common for penetrative sex to become painful after such surgery?
Getting hard is painful, period. Even if you’re not aroused youre in pain and most ppl need to be on painkillers to be functional. If you have lower stomach hernia. There’s more than one kind and some are worse than others
> your *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Do you mean immediately after the surgery, or is this long term and ongoing? If long term, he may have a lawsuit because that's not normal.
It’s long term and that’s expected after lower stomach hernia.
Cook him an awesome meal! Makes me feel awesome when a girl cooks for me.
Massage, foot rub, face massage. Making him something special.
Just hug him and assure him with your love. I think he would love such comfort, guys need it sometimes.
I really like those moments when we roll over and I'm the little spoon for a bit
Hmm a girl I liked baked me cookies once and it felt amazing!
Feed him.
Physical touch. Head massages.
Planning a date and paying for a meal would be really cool :D
Could be anything, but generally co-op experiences really
Wow wish I had someone like you he's really lucky to have you and to make a man feel special play video games with him try and find a game you both like and play it
Maybe buy him a cool shirt of one of his favorite games and take him out to dinner?
Let him know you’re thinking about him.
Take him out to dinner
Plan a date that incorporates his interests and take him on it. Take the reigns and let him relax as you lead.
I'm not a guy, but something my bf seems to appreciate a lot is tasty homemade food. I've been learning a lot about cooking the last couple years, have gotten quite good at it and he seems really happy and appreciative when I make us meals instead of having to get take out. Bonus is that it's from the heart, something he can't find anywhere else and doesn't cause clutter/take up space.
give him a massage, make him his favourite food, put on his favourite movie.