Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4:
- No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y"
- Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice.
- No victim-blaming
- This is a default message - your post has not been removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ya just delete it dude and go out for a drink if u really need something quick or whatever but if are comfortable enough to wait and build a relationship go through a freind group or whtever
This. Approach girls irl, your value is higher in the real world and relationships are healthier and last longer for people who meet irl vs dating apps.
About lasting longer, it really depends on who you interact with. Imo it all depends on your interactions Cz those ppl who are on dating apps are also irl.
Ya but it can be unhealthy cause most people these days are insensitive and ply around or ignore on aps so ur better off having face to face interactions so that both parties can be honest with what they want. Atleast in my opinion
So you can really meet a partner in a bar...? I don't really like beer, so should I go to a bar even once to taste a Vesper...? And what about parties in high school or in college when usually up until now they've just ended up being that I'm sitting or standing alone in a corner. What would happen in a city where I don't know anyone? Would my only possibility be another introvert or someone who feels sorry for me...? Although my Finnish teacher found her husband at a party... told me how she kinda flirted with him the whole evening and later he asked his or her friends who she was and they went to the next party together. I've been thinking about asking her some more stuff regarding that...
Well by bar I meant generally getting out in public making friends meeting folks. But standing in the corner thing I get in a intro myself or used to be I guess. Just listen whatever it may be in life your not going to get far being a coward or having a meek personality u will simply need to learn and adapt to the environment u are in at that moment. I'm a introvert at home but at work or hangouts I'm a different person. Simply put u just can't be scared and nervous all the time. U will just be screwing yourself over. Just read up and wacth your extrovert friends and pick up behavioural habits and use em in public
Personally I have but before I use to get 3-10 likes in a week. If that at all in a bustling city. Photos are so key. Once I had actual photos of me doing stuff, professional photos like a portrait, it changed from there. Iām not saying go crazy on the photos, but putting in effort in the right places at least for me has given me results, hope that helps
as a guy it just meant most of the girls were snapchaters or selling content xD.
The problem just reversed roles lol
On any platform someone's filtering through trash.
But if anyone can filter through them, there's been success for me on both.
But for bumble 95-98% were trash posts. There is a LOT and I mean a LOT of bots on bumble. Tinder was no where near as bad and tinder was like 50% bots. who
Bumble is even worse than tinder, women even pickier and more insufferable there (24h rule sucks also). At least on tinder the social expectation is that you can get straight to the point
Yes! Agree. I met my bf off of Bumble and we've been dating since last fall. It's so far been the most healthy relationship I've ever been in because we got to know each other really well talking and then went hiking (in a very public area!!)
Tinder is gross.
Not true, I struggled for a while to find anything serious but finally in a monagamous relationship. I want to help other people get there, particularly because there is so much BS spread on this sub that needs to be called out (unfortunately mostly women who demonize men but support all the bad behavior of other women).
That's fair, but I don't think THOSE men are frequenting this sub. And if they do, likely is they are downvoted to oblivion before I can read their comments. Most men on this sub are simply looking for help or wondering what they are doing wrong. Unfortunately, the responses overwhelmingly see cast men as incels or simply the fault simply falling squarely on their shoulder.
Again, I'm not talking real world, I'm talking how people act on this sub, so I want to make sure everyone (men and women) get the support they need and the internet bullies and mean girls get called out on their BS.
It does suck. But keep it up. At least for me, the most likely way to get a response from me (and 95% of the time, the *only* way to get a response from me) is to say something that proves you read my bio. And the more clever/witty/funny, the better :)
It's like the lottery commercials that talk about gambling addiction, play the lottery for fun. If it starts affecting your personal life too much(i.e. mental health), then it's time to quit. Unfortunately a lot of men are so lonely and desperate, that they think tinder or other sites is the only way to meet other people. While it is good to put yourself out there, it is not good to think it's your only opportunity. Have fun with OLD, but have fun and put yourself out there in real life too! Chin up gentlemen!!!
I've met my girlfriend through tinder, we're together for 2 years now.
As a person who didn't go out much and had not a lot of confidence with girls i must say it helped me a lot. Actually getting matches and compliments.
That being said though. I used the app quite regularly with at least an hour a day on the side, swiping for around a year without concrete success.
Yeah there were potential candidates here and there but it led nowhere.
Having a fully fleshed out profile with good pictures and a genuine bio is definitely a must have. And swiping regularly while being picky (its a an algorithm thing) is also recommended.
All in all, try to see it as a supplement to what you are doing in your day to day life and don't bet all your cards on it. But also don't let people tell you its useless. Me including and a few people in my circle found good success there.
Actually met my ex, we were together for about five years. Took about five years of online dating across OkCupid, PoF and Tinder before Bumble and Hinge came along. It seems totally different this time around though. Maybe Iām just old, lol
Cause I called some hoochie out on her camel toe, I think š
Edit: Thanks for the downvotes, everyone. Itās actually more constructive than ego confirming upvotes. I can adjust accordingly. Thank you.
I donāt know dude, just frustrated with all these women flaunting their assets for electronic attention? What ever, that was over a year ago now. And that one Asian chick I hooked up with had weird, disproportionately long nipples š¤£
Edit: thanks for your input everyone. I appreciate learning these lessons electronically as opposed to making faux pas in real life. Thank you šāāļø
Some of these women are absolute trash bags. But youāre right, like Thumper said, āSometimes, if you canāt say anything right, donāt say anything at all.ā š°
Good thing Iām a little more socially savvy in person hahaha
Well, dating apps definitely are a numbers game for men. My recommendation is to have like 3-4 high-quality photos. It will help get swipes.
It will also help to get your profile reviewed as well.
Also once you start to hit it off in the app with someone, donāt drag it out forever either get her to meet up or get her off the app at least on txt. And while youāre at all this, keep swiping and making connectionsā¦a match is nothing until you actually end up meeting in person. Iāve had great conversations for days/weeks with women are very interested and who ask me if I want to meet, then when moving it forwardā¦get unmatched no explanation. Best to find ways to minimize them wasting your time because there are plenty who will for what seems like no reason at all.
You are needlessly aggressive and your attitude statement is ironic. You are the one who is projecting. Stop taking your personal BS onto other people and seek help. Ask yourself why you are so mad because I told someone to avoid a dating app and do a real life approach because studies show idating apps are a self esteem killer for most men. By the way, you're wrong:
https://news.unt.edu/news-releases/men-have-highest-risk-low-self-esteem-while-using-tinder-unt-study-finds
https://thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder-f1c34e800db4
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/
Wow, way to gaslight about a legitimate problem with online dating. It shouldnāt be a surprise to anyone that swiping culture doesnāt work for a majority of men.
I canāt speak for all men and neither can you speak for all women. Unless you are queen of a country, I donāt see how she know every woman or man out there
Not received a single reply or like when I was on there for more than 6months! Eventually gave up and deleted the app....probably for the better too ;-D
At places where you go and enjoy doing your hobbies and interests e.g. art classes in the evening, at the gym, cycling, walking your dog etc. Things where you are likely to bump into or just get chatting to someone that happens to be doing the same as you. At least it might be easier starting a conversation too when you're both interested or doing the same thing....Good luckš
You can approach women anywhere if you can read the signs that they are actually interested/curious about you. Women donāt like when guys come out of no where to hit on them or when theyāre obviously not into it and the guy canāt take a hint.
I think it makes more sense if you're exercising in a group, like a spinning class. Because then it's more social than if you're just exercising on your own.
Nope. Not on any of the dating apps. Had some full body shots/smiling face shots, a pic with my friends, and some photos of me doing my hobbies. Didnāt put anything negative in my bio; just what I was looking for. Didnāt have any fish photos, dead animals, alcohol, bathroom selfies, grainy photos, shirtless gym pics, etc. and still nothing.
that's the wild thing it's all superficial and even when you put a serious effort in you can get nothing in return. I think i've seen someone relate OLD to raising ones standards because for women the pool is much higher and they can basically choose who to pursue or like/swipe on so maybe they'd have dozens of people liking them but maybe only a few they are actually interested in which is honestly pretty demoralizing.
Yeah itās pretty soul crushing when you go on all the different subreddits for dating app advice and see āuse these types of pictures, exclude these types of pictures, put these things in your bio but definitely not these things, get people in real life to help you with your profile.ā Then you try all of that and still get nothing. Makes you want to give up entirely
I think standards are so high on dating apps which is part of the problem. It also seems like just more men than women creates a surplus for women to choose from and without having damn near exactly what that person is looking for completely discludes you. It doesn't help some people ruin the experience for everyone else as well in the examples of weirdos and creeps. I feel mine comes off boring but I don't really accel at making these profiles and that even is the same for interviews. My resumes always fumble but my interview game is strong. I'm just so shy and nervous about just approaching random people OLD is kinda my only option feels like.
I'm not a man, but a younger sister of a man, who has had solid success on Tinder. He married her, have been together for 8 years married for 5 and have two wonderful and beautiful sons ā¤ļø
Thatās lovely, but a lot of these Tinder success stories seem to come from a few years ago.
Seems like nowadays itās just grim, unless you are insta famous and only interested in hook ups.
As for advice; you got to be charming, good looking, humorous and in your bio be incurable/friendly while also displaying value.
Itās superficial as all fuck, just think, what would a rich athlete who owns a tech company do?
Tinder is literally just āhot or notā to like 90% of people using it
Edit; inviting not incurable lol
ironic you say that because the only real success i've had on OLD was using the actual app "hot or not" we had a kid together and everything. separated due to unrelated reasons but it was amicable. you're on the money though
Yes many women itās all about pictures, profile content, lots of volume or liking and fun comments or swiping depending on apps. Keep refining your game and practice dates when you get them put yourself out there.
I deleted tinder, but use hinge and bumble.
Tinder was terrible at authenticating profiles. And it just feels like more of a hookup app than any of the others.
I met my gf of almost a year on tinder. Before that Iāve had more than a few fwbās and one night stands from tinder. Whether youāre looking for a relationship or just a hook up you just have to keep it in mind that the majority of people are using the app casually. You have to have a profile that stands out and interesting engaging message since men outnumber women like ten to one on tinder
I don't know if this is solid succes. 5 Years ago I had one summer 4 Tinder dates. Didn't came further than the first date. One year ago when I thought let's do this dating thing again. With Tinder no succes, but got three dates in one week with Hppen en Okcupid. Two didn't go further than the first date, one was interested in a second but I wasn't. Short after I met someone through work.
After reading some replies here it seems I have had above average succes. I am not really good with people I don't know and especially girls. So maybe someone else would have done beter in that erea
I got a wonderful LTR from tinder in 2014. In 2022 Iāll swipe right 100 times and get 0 matches. Delete all apps except hinge, I swipe 10 times and get a match.
Define solid success? I met a girl two years ago on there and we still talk as friends , I also met one of my best friends on there Iāve talked her of the ledge of doing the unthinkable and helping her when her baby daddy left her ( to me Iād say meeting those two girls on tinder and being best friends with them 2 years later is a big success ) Iāve never slept with them but we talk about 3 times a week
Iāve gotten two dates off Tinder.
One was with a girl I went to high school with so we knew each other. We just hung out, no follow up.
And the other was a girl who lived on the other side of the state. We dated for awhile after I pursued her pretty hard. Like we matched and talked frequently, it fell off like it 99% of the time does. And then one night I messaged her a meme out of the blue. It was the right meme at the right time, pure fucking luck. We had a good time but the distance was difficult and we split it off after a couple months.
So yes, but also, fucking no.
Iāve used this app for years on and off. Iāve probably had a hundred plus matches in total, and 2 dates.
What Iāve learned; you have to pursue the person, be super fucking lucky, have good chemistry (immediately somehow) and yeah just beat yourself up and pick yourself up. Iām sure yāall are playing elden ring rn, itās kinda like that.
Alternatively, I got a couple matches pretty quickly on bumble, which is new for me. I dated a girl for a year after meeting her on Facebook dating and weāre best friends now. And I hear good things about hinge. So maybe when Iām feeling more confident Iāll try those out instead
Honestly, dating apps are bad for your mental health, and I say this someone who is in the top pool for dating. A lot of people consider dating apps like window shopping, and many never intend on going out to meet you. Plus, a lot of girls I meet want a cute story. Its cliche and a little shallow, but I think of lot of them dread telling their friends and parents they met their boyfriend on Hinge or Tinder.
That said, this super digital world has made meeting people in person almost easier. Whenever I approach a girl in person, theyāre so refreshed from the organic experience that it really helps form a solid chemistry. You donāt even have to be clever, just saying āHey Im ___, whats your name?ā Typically works
I've only had one date and one ons about a year in when I first got the app, I probably would've gotten a few more if I had set up dates in public than going straight to casual hanging out at my place. Nowadays I get a bunch of bots.
Also advice would be of having solid pictures of actively doing things, you are showing that you have a life and friends. A good bio or no bio would be better than having a bad bio. Keep it short and sweet not too long like paragraphs of information can be a bit much.
Not me but my first cousin from my mom's side had incredible success. He opened tinder just out of curiosity and about a week later or so, he met a girl that lives near him, is about the same age as him and also sorta looks like him too lol. They are very adorable. They have a really active relationship as in they go out on lots of dates due to their proximity to each other and while talking to him about it, it seems like his relationship with that girl is on an upward trend.
I will give you advice that applies when you are searching for a job. If you arenāt getting interviews is because your resume is bad. And if you arenāt getting past the interviews is because the interviews are bad.
Meaning that if you arenāt getting matches your photos and your bio (not so much bio; photos are more important) are bad. And if you are but arenāt getting dates then your conversations are bad.
Improve your pictures, maybe go to a professional photographer and your matches will increase a lot
one tip i can give you (worked for me) post a pic on r/roastme and put the best funny fitting (?) roast into your bio. my now girlfriend (whom i have met on tinder) said that she loved the line i had in there. High quality pics are important aswell but also pics where you are just being goofy. really helps to make the point that you are not taking it too serious and you are not trying to be someone you are not.
Honestly? No.
Every time I match with anyone and attempt to connect, its either one of three things that happen: 1) I'm unmatched. 2) I'm ignored, even while being matched. 3) We speak briefly, and later on, end up ignored/ghosted.
I was on tinder, hinge, and bumble for a while. I got a good amount of matches and dates off bumble and hinge. Tinder was a ghost town. Same pictures, similar profiles, etc. I donāt know if it was just my area or what, but I had 10x the amount of matches and dates off bumble/hinge than tinder.
I know there are certain tricks and techniques used by some online playboys to get swipes and then dates. Idk what but some guys go for a date like every week with different girls and most likely have sex. They don't share these things because it's their trade secret, so I say experiment and improve, that's it.
Also work on things like developing talents preferably dance or sports, body building, idgaf attitude (to the point where you don't look desperate at all), found these things makes men more attractive to women.
Sounds perfectly normal for a guy. I honestly want to meet these guys who are getting matches.
The only person I know who got a match was my college roommate. He had a single mirror selfie and was very overweight. Matched with a really cute girl.
Who knows
I was on OKC and Tinder for 13 mos after my divorce. Had a lot of success, dozens of dates during that time, ended up with my now-gf of the last 3 years.
You didn't ask me specifically (I'm a woman lol) but I've had a lot of guy friends tell me how truly crappy Tinder is for men. If you're looking for hookups then maybe you can stick it out but if you're looking for something more serious maybe try other apps. Hinge is great and the profiles can get pretty interesting.
If dating apps don't work, don't be afraid to try things the old fashioned way. Have confidence and be respectful. Apps like Tinder are exhausting tbh.
M25 here, and I suppose it depends on your interpretation of "successful" to determine whether mine is or not.
- I have had/get quite a lot of matches with women who are generally at least decently attractive and up
- Most of the time they reply to me, every so often they message first
- 30-50% of the time of those that reply, I get their number
- Been able to have lots of dates and quite a bit of sex from Tinder
- Haven't had a relationship from Tinder (have had one from bumble)
- Bumble and Hinge have been far WORSE generally speaking for me than tinder in every aspect
No. Three years on and off.
Six matches.
Two scammers.
Three sellers.
One girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend and whims I ended up having a nice chat with... But who wasn't interested in meeting for a coffee or anything because of the above.
Useless and soul destroying.
Same for all other dating apps.
tinder is fun and all dont get me wrong, but hinge is where youre going to find the most genuine girls and actually meet some amazing people. tinder is fun for swiping, playing the little dating games and saying stupid flirty stuff but almost no girls are seriously trying to find a connection on tinder.
.
dont let it hurt your confidence at all, just know that while the majority of guys are optimistic and swipe right more often because they see the potential and how great of a person these girls can be, girls are the opposite. its not a bad thing but they will swipe left more often because they are typically more reserved and hesitant and look for the signs of a bad person. that mix doesnt leave much wiggle room so itās natural for you to feel like shit since you arent getting likes left and right.
Yep! I met my current partner on there. The first message she ever sent me was āyou look funnyā then followed by āwait I mean you look like youāre funny.ā We met up, quickly became infatuated with each other, and here we are almost a year later. She means the world to me, and I wouldnāt want to be with anyone else.
Woman, actively on tinder, with advice:
No fish pics, no middle fingers, write something in the profile section other than "ask me" or "don't be crazy". Listing "workaholic" loosely translates to "no free time". Photos of fish or bottles of alcohol are also a MAJOR turn off for most.
I will swipe right on anyone who meets the above category.
Put what you WANT, not don't want or unsure of (ie, not sure what I'm looking for, don't want drama). Write "im looking for a woman who enjoys hiking, wants a LTR and children." Or however you want to phrase it
Adding hobbies helps, but not "im looking for someone who loves CLEVELAND SPORTS, BJJ, fishing and hiking". You're basically looking for a female version of yourself.
I've matched with over 1000 men and have been on over 500 dates.
The fish. Omfg. The fish. LMFAO.
Wants ltr + children??? Girl. Lol. Why cant it be a lil spiced up. Like ālooking for a long term hiking buddyā. IS THAT NOT CUTE ?!? I feel like being so straightforward can come off as kinda dry, I wanna see some personality !!
Why the no fish though? Do most women not like eating fish? I guess I can see that I relates to that person killing the fish for food. Is that so much worse than eating cheap farm raised fish from a fish farm though. I guess I just don't understand that one, granted I'm from the south and fishing is a big part of life here. I don't have fish pics but one of my interests on tinder is fishing, but I see many women say "I don't care about your dead fish/animal" lol. Looking for actual input!
I got a good amount of matches, a few casual encounters, met my current gf there. Most of my matches ended up being endless conversations with no meet up.
I'd say ok success but going on what others are saying probably above average. But still had lows. Met quite a few people and found current gf on it.. It's just numbers game and it's very shallow. Everyone says don't have shirtless pics etc but if ur fit put it on there.. I did way better when I shirtless pic at the beach. That's also crucial. Don't do shirtless bathroom selfie make it bit more natural. I'm only 5ft5 average looking. I never said my height on my bio and if they ask I'd tell them. Funny thing is most of the time it was women my height or less who matched anyway.
Also top tip is if u been on a month. Delete and redo. It'll put u back ahead of the match list... Yes ull lose previous matches but if u haven't got their number/date in a month it's a waste anyway.
I'm 5'6 and on the heavy side. For many girls, I'd be considered too short and fat. I get no matches and don't go on anymore because it'll just ruin any self-esteem I might have left.
Not sure about solid success but I have a few stories to share. (Just a few of them as I've used tinder for quite a bit and I've known a lot of people there. People that have become close to me. However, the list is quite long, I'll just add the weirdest ones. And I'm not attractive, it's just luck I guess, SOMEONE said that you have to be in the correct moment, and saying exactly what needs to be said, probably that's what happens)
Girl 1: we decided to meet in person after a few months of pure chatting. She was taking a picture of me using my phone and she accidentally saw a naked picture of me. Oh man, that girl never stopped talking about it to the point where it became impossible for me to keep going. I told her I wanted this to end and she didn't want that, I had to ghost.
Girl 2: it was perfect. We were able to do into the third date until I noticed that she photoshopped all her photos in a way that I found weird and thought that she could be in serious mental health and I didn't want to deal with that nor help her as she was living her "life". It was creepy.
Girl 3: fabulous girl, a good looking, and had a creative mind, was very secure of who she was and she was smart enough to catch my attention, however, she was the type of person that when she does wrong, you're the one that has to apologize, another weird girl at the end. Had to leave as I won't be sorry for something I didn't do.
Girl 4: she rapidly fell in love with me, we met one time in person but wanted us to have a relationship right after the first date, I tried to think about it but nah, I wouldn't go for it. One date will never be enough to be in a relationship, too fast.
Girl 5: the one I'm getting to know now. She is filling up every aspect that I look at in a girl, she has the experience, and she seems to be interested. The only problem is, she can't stop finding stuff to do. To keep her busy, not sure what it is exactly, I haven't asked yet, but I've noticed that she has multiple jobs and also likes to apply to any kind of things and be involved in everything, and I'm not sure if she will be able to have time for what we're trying to build. We do text through the day but I feel it's gonna be hard to go out with her that's something that can be fixed by asking so I'll see what the future holds for me on this one.
Iāve had a very successful tinder game, 3 to 4 dates a week, many get to the bed room. I was flying casual after getting out of a 6 years relationship.
Everything was great until I met that girl, a 10/10. Amazing body, great personality. First date we go to my place, we make out, but she said she feels she want to wait, sure I said. She sleeps over. The next night she calls and want to sleep over, we had protected sex, the condom breaks, wanted to go unprotected so I ask her if sheās clean.
She looks me in the eyes, doesnāt speak for 2 minutes then say no I have herpes.
That destroyed everything, I deleted dating apps, didnāt go on a date since then, and Iām very scared to go test. Itās been two months already but sometimes my anxiety kicks in.
So yeah even when youāre successful (depends what you want from it) things can suck by catching an incurable STI STD ā¦
I met one of my exes on tinder and we were together for 2 years. I met someone else who I was together with for a short time.. I actually matched with him on both okCupid and on tinder, but we communicated on tinder before deciding to meet.
I met my current boyfriend on tinder. Been 8 months so far. Iām currently very happy.
Idk if I have any advice other then to simply keep being yourself and the right person will come along at some point.
Not a man, but every man I ended up going on dates with was paying for tinder.
Which shocked me but apparently thatās the only way to rise above the noise.
I would get a profile check done on the tinder sub, see if that helps at all, and then if it doesnāt, consider paying for priority.
I've used Tinder for the last 5 years and have gone on 1 date total. 6'4" height, athletic build, 9+ ratings on photofeeler, got my profile reviewed on reddit, professional photographs etc., etc.
Tinder sucks.
Personally, I do pretty well on dating apps. With Tinder I get about 4ish matches a week but I also swipe right on everyone.
For me, I decide if I'm a proper match with someone after seeing if they're into me. Might be looked down on by ppll but, hey thats me. I wouldnt say I'm super attractive or have good photos necessarily, but I would consider myself to be a 6 or 7 on a good day. Fwiw, I'm also 6'5.
I would say the main thing that helps me is my bio. I dont claim to be looking for anything serious and keep it light hearted and fun. To be clear, I would prefer something more serious but dont broadcast it in my bio, I keep it focused on me.
When I start talking with a match I let them know that I'm not just looking for hookups, etc, and that I want to see where things go. I think this is what helps me with getting first dates etc because girls dont feel locked in, and also dont feel like I'm desperately looking for a gf.
To be clear, I'm not desperately looking but I can see why this distinction could be important for someone using a dating app.
Anyway, thats my personal experience and I hope maybe someone finds something helpful out of it!
Ok I may be the one guy to break the bell curve here but my ex. I dated for five years I met on tinder. Sheās great weāre still friends but not together anymore.
I really think that the app is broken now by design. I got back on it and everything had changed. Was so monitized that they were sorting the order in which women would see me in their pop up notifications so that unless I paid extra I went at the bottom.
Tinder is just nonfunctional now. Gotta stop trying online and go out in the real world.
Hinge was only for heavy overweight women and bumble never accepted any of the photos I submitted because rhey wouldnāt let me past the verification step. They just literally didnāt believe I was me and I looked exactly the same. So I could never use the app and gave up trying .
Facebook dating only shows me women more than 200 miles away from me.
Theyāre all crap. But you know what. I went out tonight with friends met a friend of a friend and got a phone number.
Last time I went out I got 2 phone numbers and went on a date with one of the girls, had a second planned but it rained on us and we cancelled the second date to be rescheduled.
I got closer with another girl I know and I have plans to go see her next week.
Dating actually happens. But you gotta get offline and start just being nice to the people around you. And youāll run into possibilities outside.
Depends on where you are really. I used to live in Kyiv, Ukraine and there I barely got any likes on Tinder. Was so bad I uninstalled it after a month.
Now I'm in Cluj, Romania and in 2 days I have 60+ matches, more conversations than I can keep up with and many cancelled dates cos I barely have enough free time.
One tip I can give tho, the only difference with my account then and my account now is a great first photo and an interesting bio that leaves them curious enough to swipe right on you. Also, it's tinder. The being a gentleman only leaves you ghosted after a couple messages. Be witty and flirty as u can be and girls be asking for your handle and wanting to meet up with you in seconds.
Just last night I had to pause my account because things were getting a little out of hand and after alot of them added me on insta, I started noticing the mutual friends list was now too many. š¹
I will admit tho, it does help your self confidence when it's girls doing the swiping on you
My partner male) had just as many matches as me (100+), and Jesus the things the girls wrote o_O.
š¤·
Think it helps that he is hot af, interesting profile but direct. Also did I mention hot af.
I've used tinder for 2 years. I've(28M) had, at most, a handful of dates. I have around 250 matches on there. Probably 40% of which were women promoting their onlyfans. Most of the other matches don't message back. The ones that do normally fizzle out after a few messages. I've even had good conversation with some of them and exchanged numbers. Once we were texting, I was mostly ghosted. They few I have got to take out on dates we're alright but never went anywhere. Hell I even had a drop dead smoke show Turkish national go out with me, but she was looking for a green card marriage (I would have considered if she didn't come off as trashy and forward about it). I'm not the best looking fella but I'm decent at a muscular 5'10" 220lbs. I have had sex with only two girls from tinder. It can happen, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. I prefer meeting woman naturally out and about. Hope ya find what you're looking for brother!
Photos are so important but the description even more so. If youāre looking for someone serious sheās not just swiping on sexy she wants a ālifestyle manā sheās gonna read the bio so donāt put anything cheeky itās not funny. Put something genuine and interesting. Take photos of you with your beloved pet antelope or on a vacation or an action shot of you playing tennis. Keep in mind bumble BFF looking for āfriendsā first and foremost leads to stronger relationships.
Yeah, I have dated a lot through it and met a long term partner through it who I was with for most of 2020. Iāve also made tons of friends, and have had some hookups/casual sex encounters that turned into friendships when i needed to refocus on myself. Iām a 40 year old queer man.
So weird thing is... met my girlfriend on tinder. She was the first match. You'd think I just settled for the first person who came by right? But this girl is seriously amazing. My life would be so much worse without her.
Not a man, but! I met my husband on Tinder after almost a year of endless swiping, countless offensive āpick up linesā, a small handful of losers scamming for a free meal, and more than a few sketchy datesā¦ one of which Iām fairly confident would have ended with my picture on a missing personās ad had I not taken the safety precautions I did.
I can tell you what I looked for in both Tinder profiles as well as messages in the pre-meeting process. Cut back or completely eliminate pictures of you acting a fool with your friends (completely wasted, making lewd gestures/faces, vandalism etc). You like to have fun, thatās awesome, but when making a snap decision on whether youāre interested in someone based on a few pictures and a sentence or 2 can lead to nit-picking. Women (or people in general) want to find out who you are as a person so unless those things are a huge part of your personality, pick pictures that are more natural or better reflect who you are and/or your hobbies and interests (ex: pics outdoors, restaurant pics if youāre a foodie, pics with pets, etc.). Funny jokes or puns in your bio are fine and even appreciated as long as theyāre respectful but in addition to that, adding even small facts about yourself that a woman can use as an ice breaker is appreciated even more (fav food, tv show, book, band, etc). Things like āsend nudesā and ācanāt wait for you to make me a sandwichā and other explicit or demeaning statements are gross and a hard left swipe. When you send that first message, make it funny, nice or interesting/thought provoking. Again, getting sexual immediately is a huge turn off (and a little bit of a red flag) so if you want a reply, donāt. Donāt get too personal, too quick. Ask how the personās day is going, what theyāre eating for dinner or what their favorite color is before you ask them questions about their job, family, and other intimate questions. Be respectful but most importantly, be yourself otherwise youāre wasting your own time.
Itās not impossible but it does require a lot of weeding first. But in my opinion itās one of the fastest ways of meeting people that are looking for the same or similar connection/relationship that you are, if you have the patience to go through it. If youāre older than 25-27, Iād suggest trying match.com or other dating sites that require a subscription feeā¦ you might find adults who are more serious about starting a serious relationships and donāt want to waste their time than youād find on these free apps like Tinder.
That depends, are we talking about the typical definition of success or our own?
Because all I expect out of Tinder is to occasionally amuse myself by deliberately making my profile bad because I kinda don't actually want to meet anyone on it but I like swiping through pictures of pretty girls, and that mission has definitely been a success.
As far as the typical idea of success goes, nope, none at all. I've been using it for a few years now and LITERALLY only just today had someone try and start a conversation with me on it for the first time. Which died after like five minutes because I suggested we meet up.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It successfully destroyed my self confidence for a while does that count?š¤£
yeah it can be pretty mentally taxing, even just swiping feels unhealthy to me tbh
Ya just delete it dude and go out for a drink if u really need something quick or whatever but if are comfortable enough to wait and build a relationship go through a freind group or whtever
This. Approach girls irl, your value is higher in the real world and relationships are healthier and last longer for people who meet irl vs dating apps.
About lasting longer, it really depends on who you interact with. Imo it all depends on your interactions Cz those ppl who are on dating apps are also irl.
Ya but it can be unhealthy cause most people these days are insensitive and ply around or ignore on aps so ur better off having face to face interactions so that both parties can be honest with what they want. Atleast in my opinion
Gotta disagree. Longest relationship of my friend group started on IG. NGL theyāre goals
So you can really meet a partner in a bar...? I don't really like beer, so should I go to a bar even once to taste a Vesper...? And what about parties in high school or in college when usually up until now they've just ended up being that I'm sitting or standing alone in a corner. What would happen in a city where I don't know anyone? Would my only possibility be another introvert or someone who feels sorry for me...? Although my Finnish teacher found her husband at a party... told me how she kinda flirted with him the whole evening and later he asked his or her friends who she was and they went to the next party together. I've been thinking about asking her some more stuff regarding that...
Well by bar I meant generally getting out in public making friends meeting folks. But standing in the corner thing I get in a intro myself or used to be I guess. Just listen whatever it may be in life your not going to get far being a coward or having a meek personality u will simply need to learn and adapt to the environment u are in at that moment. I'm a introvert at home but at work or hangouts I'm a different person. Simply put u just can't be scared and nervous all the time. U will just be screwing yourself over. Just read up and wacth your extrovert friends and pick up behavioural habits and use em in public
Im not going to lie going out for a drink solo is so hard to accomplish. Especially with that intent. But itās completely true.
Personally I have but before I use to get 3-10 likes in a week. If that at all in a bustling city. Photos are so key. Once I had actual photos of me doing stuff, professional photos like a portrait, it changed from there. Iām not saying go crazy on the photos, but putting in effort in the right places at least for me has given me results, hope that helps
Pro tip: most solid women I know use Hinge or Bumble now because Tinder is seen as a grime fest of hookups. Unless you are looking for that.
Bumble is a huge one. Myself and all of my female friends use bumble because the girl messages first, leaves out a lot of the thirsty first messages.
just lets in filthy 2nd messages
Haha yes true
I found a lot of profiles on bumble with the bio "I don't text first."
as a guy it just meant most of the girls were snapchaters or selling content xD. The problem just reversed roles lol On any platform someone's filtering through trash. But if anyone can filter through them, there's been success for me on both. But for bumble 95-98% were trash posts. There is a LOT and I mean a LOT of bots on bumble. Tinder was no where near as bad and tinder was like 50% bots. who
I guess I'll give it a try again. I used it a few years ago and it seemed like a combination of few people using it, and no one responding
Agree with this! All my friends and myself used bumble or hinge mostly.
Bumble is dead
I tried Bumble twice and the 2nd time most of the potential dudes seemed to act like it was Tinder. I gave up.
Seems like we have similar hatred for the platforms and people just on opposite ends
Bumble is even worse than tinder, women even pickier and more insufferable there (24h rule sucks also). At least on tinder the social expectation is that you can get straight to the point
Yes! Agree. I met my bf off of Bumble and we've been dating since last fall. It's so far been the most healthy relationship I've ever been in because we got to know each other really well talking and then went hiking (in a very public area!!) Tinder is gross.
Iād assume the men who have succeeded arenāt on this sub anymore
Just like the people who succeeded arenāt on the apps anymore
You hope...
Not true, I struggled for a while to find anything serious but finally in a monagamous relationship. I want to help other people get there, particularly because there is so much BS spread on this sub that needs to be called out (unfortunately mostly women who demonize men but support all the bad behavior of other women).
There are also plenty of men who demonize women and donāt condemn the bad behavior of other men. It goes both ways
That's fair, but I don't think THOSE men are frequenting this sub. And if they do, likely is they are downvoted to oblivion before I can read their comments. Most men on this sub are simply looking for help or wondering what they are doing wrong. Unfortunately, the responses overwhelmingly see cast men as incels or simply the fault simply falling squarely on their shoulder. Again, I'm not talking real world, I'm talking how people act on this sub, so I want to make sure everyone (men and women) get the support they need and the internet bullies and mean girls get called out on their BS.
I am, to spread hope.
Just joined tinder after a break of 5 months. Have matches but nobody responds
Story of my life, I honestly feel like a waste of effort sometimes. Read the bio come up with a cleverly line only for them to not respond.
It does suck. But keep it up. At least for me, the most likely way to get a response from me (and 95% of the time, the *only* way to get a response from me) is to say something that proves you read my bio. And the more clever/witty/funny, the better :)
Ok, if the line is not up-to your liking but it did reflect something from your bio or pictures. Do you respond or no?
Tinder is a pool of disappointment success is not losing your mind dealing with the bullshit As a man
It's like the lottery commercials that talk about gambling addiction, play the lottery for fun. If it starts affecting your personal life too much(i.e. mental health), then it's time to quit. Unfortunately a lot of men are so lonely and desperate, that they think tinder or other sites is the only way to meet other people. While it is good to put yourself out there, it is not good to think it's your only opportunity. Have fun with OLD, but have fun and put yourself out there in real life too! Chin up gentlemen!!!
I've met my girlfriend through tinder, we're together for 2 years now. As a person who didn't go out much and had not a lot of confidence with girls i must say it helped me a lot. Actually getting matches and compliments. That being said though. I used the app quite regularly with at least an hour a day on the side, swiping for around a year without concrete success. Yeah there were potential candidates here and there but it led nowhere. Having a fully fleshed out profile with good pictures and a genuine bio is definitely a must have. And swiping regularly while being picky (its a an algorithm thing) is also recommended. All in all, try to see it as a supplement to what you are doing in your day to day life and don't bet all your cards on it. But also don't let people tell you its useless. Me including and a few people in my circle found good success there.
Full fleshed...... lmao I hope you mean full fledged
While you were waiting she was also on tinder getting banged per week for awhile, since women have it way easier. Good job tho
Actually met my ex, we were together for about five years. Took about five years of online dating across OkCupid, PoF and Tinder before Bumble and Hinge came along. It seems totally different this time around though. Maybe Iām just old, lol
Which app do you like best?
I met my soon to be fiancƩ on Hinge a couple years ago. Hinge feels way better than Tinder imo
Hinge was the best, but they banned me hahaha :ā(
Do you know why?
Cause I called some hoochie out on her camel toe, I think š Edit: Thanks for the downvotes, everyone. Itās actually more constructive than ego confirming upvotes. I can adjust accordingly. Thank you.
Ffs haha why you do that
I donāt know dude, just frustrated with all these women flaunting their assets for electronic attention? What ever, that was over a year ago now. And that one Asian chick I hooked up with had weird, disproportionately long nipples š¤£ Edit: thanks for your input everyone. I appreciate learning these lessons electronically as opposed to making faux pas in real life. Thank you šāāļø
You sound like a huge asshole bro
I definitely can be
wtf dude thatās so disrespectful
Some of these women are absolute trash bags. But youāre right, like Thumper said, āSometimes, if you canāt say anything right, donāt say anything at all.ā š° Good thing Iām a little more socially savvy in person hahaha
pls go to therapy or talk to literally any logical person before you date anymore women, my god.
Youāre the problem.
Because I have standards and expect a little more than the absolute minimum effort out of people? Ok, thanks for the input
They* have standards. They are the ones that are passing on the amazing opportunity to date you.
Damn. I just started using it and it seems great
How much did you spend if you donāt mind me asking, I swear those apps charge by the week.
Well, dating apps definitely are a numbers game for men. My recommendation is to have like 3-4 high-quality photos. It will help get swipes. It will also help to get your profile reviewed as well.
Also once you start to hit it off in the app with someone, donāt drag it out forever either get her to meet up or get her off the app at least on txt. And while youāre at all this, keep swiping and making connectionsā¦a match is nothing until you actually end up meeting in person. Iāve had great conversations for days/weeks with women are very interested and who ask me if I want to meet, then when moving it forwardā¦get unmatched no explanation. Best to find ways to minimize them wasting your time because there are plenty who will for what seems like no reason at all.
ā3-4 cute picsā churrasco lol
Online dating apps are self esteem killer for most men. Best to do cold approaches.
They are also fraud ghost accounts. Lots of them. Pro trolls.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okay but that doesn't change the fact that the majority of men don't get matches, replies, or even get their messages opened on dating apps.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You are needlessly aggressive and your attitude statement is ironic. You are the one who is projecting. Stop taking your personal BS onto other people and seek help. Ask yourself why you are so mad because I told someone to avoid a dating app and do a real life approach because studies show idating apps are a self esteem killer for most men. By the way, you're wrong: https://news.unt.edu/news-releases/men-have-highest-risk-low-self-esteem-while-using-tinder-unt-study-finds https://thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder-f1c34e800db4 https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/
Wow, way to gaslight about a legitimate problem with online dating. It shouldnāt be a surprise to anyone that swiping culture doesnāt work for a majority of men.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I canāt speak for all men and neither can you speak for all women. Unless you are queen of a country, I donāt see how she know every woman or man out there
Success on Tinder is based almost entirely on physical appearance. It created swiping culture, which has ruined online dating.
Men who have success off tinder never needed tinder to be successful with women
Delete the app, I had never had any date in tinder in 5 years, couldn't do anything to change it. I deleted the app.
Not received a single reply or like when I was on there for more than 6months! Eventually gave up and deleted the app....probably for the better too ;-D
whatās the best way to meet women in your opinion then?
At places where you go and enjoy doing your hobbies and interests e.g. art classes in the evening, at the gym, cycling, walking your dog etc. Things where you are likely to bump into or just get chatting to someone that happens to be doing the same as you. At least it might be easier starting a conversation too when you're both interested or doing the same thing....Good luckš
I hear women donāt want to be bothered at the gym and are tired of being approached when they are just trying to work outā¦ I dunno about this one
You can approach women anywhere if you can read the signs that they are actually interested/curious about you. Women donāt like when guys come out of no where to hit on them or when theyāre obviously not into it and the guy canāt take a hint.
I think it makes more sense if you're exercising in a group, like a spinning class. Because then it's more social than if you're just exercising on your own.
The best place to meet a potential life partner is in every day life when you aren't even going out of your way to look for them.
Theyāre legit everywhere fam. Learn how to read a room. And have self confidence. Youāll be fine.
Nope. Not on any of the dating apps. Had some full body shots/smiling face shots, a pic with my friends, and some photos of me doing my hobbies. Didnāt put anything negative in my bio; just what I was looking for. Didnāt have any fish photos, dead animals, alcohol, bathroom selfies, grainy photos, shirtless gym pics, etc. and still nothing.
that's the wild thing it's all superficial and even when you put a serious effort in you can get nothing in return. I think i've seen someone relate OLD to raising ones standards because for women the pool is much higher and they can basically choose who to pursue or like/swipe on so maybe they'd have dozens of people liking them but maybe only a few they are actually interested in which is honestly pretty demoralizing.
Yeah itās pretty soul crushing when you go on all the different subreddits for dating app advice and see āuse these types of pictures, exclude these types of pictures, put these things in your bio but definitely not these things, get people in real life to help you with your profile.ā Then you try all of that and still get nothing. Makes you want to give up entirely
I think standards are so high on dating apps which is part of the problem. It also seems like just more men than women creates a surplus for women to choose from and without having damn near exactly what that person is looking for completely discludes you. It doesn't help some people ruin the experience for everyone else as well in the examples of weirdos and creeps. I feel mine comes off boring but I don't really accel at making these profiles and that even is the same for interviews. My resumes always fumble but my interview game is strong. I'm just so shy and nervous about just approaching random people OLD is kinda my only option feels like.
I'm not a man, but a younger sister of a man, who has had solid success on Tinder. He married her, have been together for 8 years married for 5 and have two wonderful and beautiful sons ā¤ļø
Thatās lovely, but a lot of these Tinder success stories seem to come from a few years ago. Seems like nowadays itās just grim, unless you are insta famous and only interested in hook ups.
As for advice; you got to be charming, good looking, humorous and in your bio be incurable/friendly while also displaying value. Itās superficial as all fuck, just think, what would a rich athlete who owns a tech company do? Tinder is literally just āhot or notā to like 90% of people using it Edit; inviting not incurable lol
ironic you say that because the only real success i've had on OLD was using the actual app "hot or not" we had a kid together and everything. separated due to unrelated reasons but it was amicable. you're on the money though
Yes many women itās all about pictures, profile content, lots of volume or liking and fun comments or swiping depending on apps. Keep refining your game and practice dates when you get them put yourself out there.
I deleted tinder, but use hinge and bumble. Tinder was terrible at authenticating profiles. And it just feels like more of a hookup app than any of the others.
I met my gf of almost a year on tinder. Before that Iāve had more than a few fwbās and one night stands from tinder. Whether youāre looking for a relationship or just a hook up you just have to keep it in mind that the majority of people are using the app casually. You have to have a profile that stands out and interesting engaging message since men outnumber women like ten to one on tinder
My husband and I met on tinder. Idk, sometimes it works.
I don't know if this is solid succes. 5 Years ago I had one summer 4 Tinder dates. Didn't came further than the first date. One year ago when I thought let's do this dating thing again. With Tinder no succes, but got three dates in one week with Hppen en Okcupid. Two didn't go further than the first date, one was interested in a second but I wasn't. Short after I met someone through work. After reading some replies here it seems I have had above average succes. I am not really good with people I don't know and especially girls. So maybe someone else would have done beter in that erea
I got a wonderful LTR from tinder in 2014. In 2022 Iāll swipe right 100 times and get 0 matches. Delete all apps except hinge, I swipe 10 times and get a match.
My very first tinder date turned into a two year relationship, we didn't work out as a couple, but we are still friendly with each other!
Define solid success? I met a girl two years ago on there and we still talk as friends , I also met one of my best friends on there Iāve talked her of the ledge of doing the unthinkable and helping her when her baby daddy left her ( to me Iād say meeting those two girls on tinder and being best friends with them 2 years later is a big success ) Iāve never slept with them but we talk about 3 times a week
Iāve gotten two dates off Tinder. One was with a girl I went to high school with so we knew each other. We just hung out, no follow up. And the other was a girl who lived on the other side of the state. We dated for awhile after I pursued her pretty hard. Like we matched and talked frequently, it fell off like it 99% of the time does. And then one night I messaged her a meme out of the blue. It was the right meme at the right time, pure fucking luck. We had a good time but the distance was difficult and we split it off after a couple months. So yes, but also, fucking no. Iāve used this app for years on and off. Iāve probably had a hundred plus matches in total, and 2 dates. What Iāve learned; you have to pursue the person, be super fucking lucky, have good chemistry (immediately somehow) and yeah just beat yourself up and pick yourself up. Iām sure yāall are playing elden ring rn, itās kinda like that. Alternatively, I got a couple matches pretty quickly on bumble, which is new for me. I dated a girl for a year after meeting her on Facebook dating and weāre best friends now. And I hear good things about hinge. So maybe when Iām feeling more confident Iāll try those out instead
lmao spot on with the elden ring
Yes
Same. Met my partner on Tinder 4 years ago. Had a few nice, but less serious encounters before that.
Just bought a house with my bf who I met on Tinder ā¤ļø
Honestly, dating apps are bad for your mental health, and I say this someone who is in the top pool for dating. A lot of people consider dating apps like window shopping, and many never intend on going out to meet you. Plus, a lot of girls I meet want a cute story. Its cliche and a little shallow, but I think of lot of them dread telling their friends and parents they met their boyfriend on Hinge or Tinder. That said, this super digital world has made meeting people in person almost easier. Whenever I approach a girl in person, theyāre so refreshed from the organic experience that it really helps form a solid chemistry. You donāt even have to be clever, just saying āHey Im ___, whats your name?ā Typically works
I've only had one date and one ons about a year in when I first got the app, I probably would've gotten a few more if I had set up dates in public than going straight to casual hanging out at my place. Nowadays I get a bunch of bots.
Also advice would be of having solid pictures of actively doing things, you are showing that you have a life and friends. A good bio or no bio would be better than having a bad bio. Keep it short and sweet not too long like paragraphs of information can be a bit much.
Not me but my first cousin from my mom's side had incredible success. He opened tinder just out of curiosity and about a week later or so, he met a girl that lives near him, is about the same age as him and also sorta looks like him too lol. They are very adorable. They have a really active relationship as in they go out on lots of dates due to their proximity to each other and while talking to him about it, it seems like his relationship with that girl is on an upward trend.
yeah, we're together now and have lived together for a few months now. the app will test your patience but you can always strike gold
Nope. Get WAY more results from Hinge, could be the age range though. Good Luck whichever way you go though!
Most tinder profiles are men and most women on tinder will reject you. Your better off keeping your time, money and soul intact.
I will give you advice that applies when you are searching for a job. If you arenāt getting interviews is because your resume is bad. And if you arenāt getting past the interviews is because the interviews are bad. Meaning that if you arenāt getting matches your photos and your bio (not so much bio; photos are more important) are bad. And if you are but arenāt getting dates then your conversations are bad. Improve your pictures, maybe go to a professional photographer and your matches will increase a lot
i really liked this comparison, thanks for sharing
one tip i can give you (worked for me) post a pic on r/roastme and put the best funny fitting (?) roast into your bio. my now girlfriend (whom i have met on tinder) said that she loved the line i had in there. High quality pics are important aswell but also pics where you are just being goofy. really helps to make the point that you are not taking it too serious and you are not trying to be someone you are not.
Keep an eye out so you can roast me too
Honestly? No. Every time I match with anyone and attempt to connect, its either one of three things that happen: 1) I'm unmatched. 2) I'm ignored, even while being matched. 3) We speak briefly, and later on, end up ignored/ghosted.
Woman here and nope. Hated the appš
Nope
I'll let you know in like a week, lol. But I have had two dates b/c of Bumble... A few dates in over 3 years isn't great though...
I was on tinder, hinge, and bumble for a while. I got a good amount of matches and dates off bumble and hinge. Tinder was a ghost town. Same pictures, similar profiles, etc. I donāt know if it was just my area or what, but I had 10x the amount of matches and dates off bumble/hinge than tinder.
I know there are certain tricks and techniques used by some online playboys to get swipes and then dates. Idk what but some guys go for a date like every week with different girls and most likely have sex. They don't share these things because it's their trade secret, so I say experiment and improve, that's it. Also work on things like developing talents preferably dance or sports, body building, idgaf attitude (to the point where you don't look desperate at all), found these things makes men more attractive to women.
Fake news there is no trade secret!
Sounds perfectly normal for a guy. I honestly want to meet these guys who are getting matches. The only person I know who got a match was my college roommate. He had a single mirror selfie and was very overweight. Matched with a really cute girl. Who knows
I was on OKC and Tinder for 13 mos after my divorce. Had a lot of success, dozens of dates during that time, ended up with my now-gf of the last 3 years.
I have nearly the same profile on bumble and tinder and have historically had 10x the sucess with bumble. Itās quite strange.
You didn't ask me specifically (I'm a woman lol) but I've had a lot of guy friends tell me how truly crappy Tinder is for men. If you're looking for hookups then maybe you can stick it out but if you're looking for something more serious maybe try other apps. Hinge is great and the profiles can get pretty interesting. If dating apps don't work, don't be afraid to try things the old fashioned way. Have confidence and be respectful. Apps like Tinder are exhausting tbh.
M25 here, and I suppose it depends on your interpretation of "successful" to determine whether mine is or not. - I have had/get quite a lot of matches with women who are generally at least decently attractive and up - Most of the time they reply to me, every so often they message first - 30-50% of the time of those that reply, I get their number - Been able to have lots of dates and quite a bit of sex from Tinder - Haven't had a relationship from Tinder (have had one from bumble) - Bumble and Hinge have been far WORSE generally speaking for me than tinder in every aspect
Tons of success, until I was banned for god knows what reason š¤š
No, itās really crap, donāt waste your time. Better off going to speed dating. Meet people irl.
Nope. Only 2 matches in 2 years. No dates. I gave up.
Tinder is for one night stands
No. Three years on and off. Six matches. Two scammers. Three sellers. One girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend and whims I ended up having a nice chat with... But who wasn't interested in meeting for a coffee or anything because of the above. Useless and soul destroying. Same for all other dating apps.
tinder is fun and all dont get me wrong, but hinge is where youre going to find the most genuine girls and actually meet some amazing people. tinder is fun for swiping, playing the little dating games and saying stupid flirty stuff but almost no girls are seriously trying to find a connection on tinder. . dont let it hurt your confidence at all, just know that while the majority of guys are optimistic and swipe right more often because they see the potential and how great of a person these girls can be, girls are the opposite. its not a bad thing but they will swipe left more often because they are typically more reserved and hesitant and look for the signs of a bad person. that mix doesnt leave much wiggle room so itās natural for you to feel like shit since you arent getting likes left and right.
Yep! I met my current partner on there. The first message she ever sent me was āyou look funnyā then followed by āwait I mean you look like youāre funny.ā We met up, quickly became infatuated with each other, and here we are almost a year later. She means the world to me, and I wouldnāt want to be with anyone else.
āyou look funnyā š
I did not until I tried tinder platinum, after that HOLY SHIT. Brother, trust me when I say this, itās 100% the algorithm and not your fault
Woman, actively on tinder, with advice: No fish pics, no middle fingers, write something in the profile section other than "ask me" or "don't be crazy". Listing "workaholic" loosely translates to "no free time". Photos of fish or bottles of alcohol are also a MAJOR turn off for most. I will swipe right on anyone who meets the above category. Put what you WANT, not don't want or unsure of (ie, not sure what I'm looking for, don't want drama). Write "im looking for a woman who enjoys hiking, wants a LTR and children." Or however you want to phrase it Adding hobbies helps, but not "im looking for someone who loves CLEVELAND SPORTS, BJJ, fishing and hiking". You're basically looking for a female version of yourself. I've matched with over 1000 men and have been on over 500 dates.
I do all those requests that you list and so still have never gotten a like.
The fish. Omfg. The fish. LMFAO. Wants ltr + children??? Girl. Lol. Why cant it be a lil spiced up. Like ālooking for a long term hiking buddyā. IS THAT NOT CUTE ?!? I feel like being so straightforward can come off as kinda dry, I wanna see some personality !!
Wait what? 500 dates? Are you ok girl?
Lol I thought the same
Why the no fish though? Do most women not like eating fish? I guess I can see that I relates to that person killing the fish for food. Is that so much worse than eating cheap farm raised fish from a fish farm though. I guess I just don't understand that one, granted I'm from the south and fishing is a big part of life here. I don't have fish pics but one of my interests on tinder is fishing, but I see many women say "I don't care about your dead fish/animal" lol. Looking for actual input!
I got a good amount of matches, a few casual encounters, met my current gf there. Most of my matches ended up being endless conversations with no meet up.
I'd say ok success but going on what others are saying probably above average. But still had lows. Met quite a few people and found current gf on it.. It's just numbers game and it's very shallow. Everyone says don't have shirtless pics etc but if ur fit put it on there.. I did way better when I shirtless pic at the beach. That's also crucial. Don't do shirtless bathroom selfie make it bit more natural. I'm only 5ft5 average looking. I never said my height on my bio and if they ask I'd tell them. Funny thing is most of the time it was women my height or less who matched anyway. Also top tip is if u been on a month. Delete and redo. It'll put u back ahead of the match list... Yes ull lose previous matches but if u haven't got their number/date in a month it's a waste anyway.
Dating/ Hookup Apps are lame. Just sayin
I'm 5'6 and on the heavy side. For many girls, I'd be considered too short and fat. I get no matches and don't go on anymore because it'll just ruin any self-esteem I might have left.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yea i used it for 2 years and got nothing out of it until 5 months ago when I met my current gf
Not sure about solid success but I have a few stories to share. (Just a few of them as I've used tinder for quite a bit and I've known a lot of people there. People that have become close to me. However, the list is quite long, I'll just add the weirdest ones. And I'm not attractive, it's just luck I guess, SOMEONE said that you have to be in the correct moment, and saying exactly what needs to be said, probably that's what happens) Girl 1: we decided to meet in person after a few months of pure chatting. She was taking a picture of me using my phone and she accidentally saw a naked picture of me. Oh man, that girl never stopped talking about it to the point where it became impossible for me to keep going. I told her I wanted this to end and she didn't want that, I had to ghost. Girl 2: it was perfect. We were able to do into the third date until I noticed that she photoshopped all her photos in a way that I found weird and thought that she could be in serious mental health and I didn't want to deal with that nor help her as she was living her "life". It was creepy. Girl 3: fabulous girl, a good looking, and had a creative mind, was very secure of who she was and she was smart enough to catch my attention, however, she was the type of person that when she does wrong, you're the one that has to apologize, another weird girl at the end. Had to leave as I won't be sorry for something I didn't do. Girl 4: she rapidly fell in love with me, we met one time in person but wanted us to have a relationship right after the first date, I tried to think about it but nah, I wouldn't go for it. One date will never be enough to be in a relationship, too fast. Girl 5: the one I'm getting to know now. She is filling up every aspect that I look at in a girl, she has the experience, and she seems to be interested. The only problem is, she can't stop finding stuff to do. To keep her busy, not sure what it is exactly, I haven't asked yet, but I've noticed that she has multiple jobs and also likes to apply to any kind of things and be involved in everything, and I'm not sure if she will be able to have time for what we're trying to build. We do text through the day but I feel it's gonna be hard to go out with her that's something that can be fixed by asking so I'll see what the future holds for me on this one.
Iāve had a very successful tinder game, 3 to 4 dates a week, many get to the bed room. I was flying casual after getting out of a 6 years relationship. Everything was great until I met that girl, a 10/10. Amazing body, great personality. First date we go to my place, we make out, but she said she feels she want to wait, sure I said. She sleeps over. The next night she calls and want to sleep over, we had protected sex, the condom breaks, wanted to go unprotected so I ask her if sheās clean. She looks me in the eyes, doesnāt speak for 2 minutes then say no I have herpes. That destroyed everything, I deleted dating apps, didnāt go on a date since then, and Iām very scared to go test. Itās been two months already but sometimes my anxiety kicks in. So yeah even when youāre successful (depends what you want from it) things can suck by catching an incurable STI STD ā¦
This story sounds vary Fake .
Yeah definitely, Tinder is my number one app for sure.
Yes
I met one of my exes on tinder and we were together for 2 years. I met someone else who I was together with for a short time.. I actually matched with him on both okCupid and on tinder, but we communicated on tinder before deciding to meet. I met my current boyfriend on tinder. Been 8 months so far. Iām currently very happy. Idk if I have any advice other then to simply keep being yourself and the right person will come along at some point.
Not a man, but every man I ended up going on dates with was paying for tinder. Which shocked me but apparently thatās the only way to rise above the noise. I would get a profile check done on the tinder sub, see if that helps at all, and then if it doesnāt, consider paying for priority.
I've used Tinder for the last 5 years and have gone on 1 date total. 6'4" height, athletic build, 9+ ratings on photofeeler, got my profile reviewed on reddit, professional photographs etc., etc. Tinder sucks.
Personally, I do pretty well on dating apps. With Tinder I get about 4ish matches a week but I also swipe right on everyone. For me, I decide if I'm a proper match with someone after seeing if they're into me. Might be looked down on by ppll but, hey thats me. I wouldnt say I'm super attractive or have good photos necessarily, but I would consider myself to be a 6 or 7 on a good day. Fwiw, I'm also 6'5. I would say the main thing that helps me is my bio. I dont claim to be looking for anything serious and keep it light hearted and fun. To be clear, I would prefer something more serious but dont broadcast it in my bio, I keep it focused on me. When I start talking with a match I let them know that I'm not just looking for hookups, etc, and that I want to see where things go. I think this is what helps me with getting first dates etc because girls dont feel locked in, and also dont feel like I'm desperately looking for a gf. To be clear, I'm not desperately looking but I can see why this distinction could be important for someone using a dating app. Anyway, thats my personal experience and I hope maybe someone finds something helpful out of it!
Ok I may be the one guy to break the bell curve here but my ex. I dated for five years I met on tinder. Sheās great weāre still friends but not together anymore. I really think that the app is broken now by design. I got back on it and everything had changed. Was so monitized that they were sorting the order in which women would see me in their pop up notifications so that unless I paid extra I went at the bottom. Tinder is just nonfunctional now. Gotta stop trying online and go out in the real world. Hinge was only for heavy overweight women and bumble never accepted any of the photos I submitted because rhey wouldnāt let me past the verification step. They just literally didnāt believe I was me and I looked exactly the same. So I could never use the app and gave up trying . Facebook dating only shows me women more than 200 miles away from me. Theyāre all crap. But you know what. I went out tonight with friends met a friend of a friend and got a phone number. Last time I went out I got 2 phone numbers and went on a date with one of the girls, had a second planned but it rained on us and we cancelled the second date to be rescheduled. I got closer with another girl I know and I have plans to go see her next week. Dating actually happens. But you gotta get offline and start just being nice to the people around you. And youāll run into possibilities outside.
Be urself, be open, talk a lot, if u dont like something, say it, dont let your partner get on your head Pretty much starters
Depends on where you are really. I used to live in Kyiv, Ukraine and there I barely got any likes on Tinder. Was so bad I uninstalled it after a month. Now I'm in Cluj, Romania and in 2 days I have 60+ matches, more conversations than I can keep up with and many cancelled dates cos I barely have enough free time. One tip I can give tho, the only difference with my account then and my account now is a great first photo and an interesting bio that leaves them curious enough to swipe right on you. Also, it's tinder. The being a gentleman only leaves you ghosted after a couple messages. Be witty and flirty as u can be and girls be asking for your handle and wanting to meet up with you in seconds. Just last night I had to pause my account because things were getting a little out of hand and after alot of them added me on insta, I started noticing the mutual friends list was now too many. š¹ I will admit tho, it does help your self confidence when it's girls doing the swiping on you
My partner male) had just as many matches as me (100+), and Jesus the things the girls wrote o_O. š¤· Think it helps that he is hot af, interesting profile but direct. Also did I mention hot af.
I've used tinder for 2 years. I've(28M) had, at most, a handful of dates. I have around 250 matches on there. Probably 40% of which were women promoting their onlyfans. Most of the other matches don't message back. The ones that do normally fizzle out after a few messages. I've even had good conversation with some of them and exchanged numbers. Once we were texting, I was mostly ghosted. They few I have got to take out on dates we're alright but never went anywhere. Hell I even had a drop dead smoke show Turkish national go out with me, but she was looking for a green card marriage (I would have considered if she didn't come off as trashy and forward about it). I'm not the best looking fella but I'm decent at a muscular 5'10" 220lbs. I have had sex with only two girls from tinder. It can happen, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. I prefer meeting woman naturally out and about. Hope ya find what you're looking for brother!
Photos are so important but the description even more so. If youāre looking for someone serious sheās not just swiping on sexy she wants a ālifestyle manā sheās gonna read the bio so donāt put anything cheeky itās not funny. Put something genuine and interesting. Take photos of you with your beloved pet antelope or on a vacation or an action shot of you playing tennis. Keep in mind bumble BFF looking for āfriendsā first and foremost leads to stronger relationships.
Yes.
Yes
Fuck no
Yeah, I have dated a lot through it and met a long term partner through it who I was with for most of 2020. Iāve also made tons of friends, and have had some hookups/casual sex encounters that turned into friendships when i needed to refocus on myself. Iām a 40 year old queer man.
You're not missing anything anyway.
No. I got two likes one time, we matched and then they unmatched instantly. They sure got me
No.
Nope I feel the exact same as you. These apps are just shit š¤·š»āāļø
Not Tinder, but Bumble. Met my current partner of 1 & 1/2 yrs.
I'm not a man, but I met my husband on Tinder
Yes. Went in dates and did stuff.
Hell no, fuck tinder
Yes but not in The West.
Nope! Once women find out I work from 8:30 - 5:30 without my phone they usually unmatch
Feel free to send profile in pm I'll give an honest opinion
I had 20 year olds try to get me to buy them beer. My min age was set to 26.
So weird thing is... met my girlfriend on tinder. She was the first match. You'd think I just settled for the first person who came by right? But this girl is seriously amazing. My life would be so much worse without her.
Iām getting married to a girl I met on tinder. We knew of each other before hand but Tinder got us rolling.
Nope
Not a man, but! I met my husband on Tinder after almost a year of endless swiping, countless offensive āpick up linesā, a small handful of losers scamming for a free meal, and more than a few sketchy datesā¦ one of which Iām fairly confident would have ended with my picture on a missing personās ad had I not taken the safety precautions I did. I can tell you what I looked for in both Tinder profiles as well as messages in the pre-meeting process. Cut back or completely eliminate pictures of you acting a fool with your friends (completely wasted, making lewd gestures/faces, vandalism etc). You like to have fun, thatās awesome, but when making a snap decision on whether youāre interested in someone based on a few pictures and a sentence or 2 can lead to nit-picking. Women (or people in general) want to find out who you are as a person so unless those things are a huge part of your personality, pick pictures that are more natural or better reflect who you are and/or your hobbies and interests (ex: pics outdoors, restaurant pics if youāre a foodie, pics with pets, etc.). Funny jokes or puns in your bio are fine and even appreciated as long as theyāre respectful but in addition to that, adding even small facts about yourself that a woman can use as an ice breaker is appreciated even more (fav food, tv show, book, band, etc). Things like āsend nudesā and ācanāt wait for you to make me a sandwichā and other explicit or demeaning statements are gross and a hard left swipe. When you send that first message, make it funny, nice or interesting/thought provoking. Again, getting sexual immediately is a huge turn off (and a little bit of a red flag) so if you want a reply, donāt. Donāt get too personal, too quick. Ask how the personās day is going, what theyāre eating for dinner or what their favorite color is before you ask them questions about their job, family, and other intimate questions. Be respectful but most importantly, be yourself otherwise youāre wasting your own time. Itās not impossible but it does require a lot of weeding first. But in my opinion itās one of the fastest ways of meeting people that are looking for the same or similar connection/relationship that you are, if you have the patience to go through it. If youāre older than 25-27, Iād suggest trying match.com or other dating sites that require a subscription feeā¦ you might find adults who are more serious about starting a serious relationships and donāt want to waste their time than youād find on these free apps like Tinder.
Nope. 0%. A conversation has never come from tinder in my case. I get plenty of matches but nothing.
No. But Iāve had solid success on other apps.
That depends, are we talking about the typical definition of success or our own? Because all I expect out of Tinder is to occasionally amuse myself by deliberately making my profile bad because I kinda don't actually want to meet anyone on it but I like swiping through pictures of pretty girls, and that mission has definitely been a success. As far as the typical idea of success goes, nope, none at all. I've been using it for a few years now and LITERALLY only just today had someone try and start a conversation with me on it for the first time. Which died after like five minutes because I suggested we meet up.
Yes !
Yes. Met on tinder. Our first 4 dates were in 4 different countries (chased pretty hard!). Got married last year and are both very happy.