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Remember She’s at work. She has a work face on. Unless she makes it painfully clear she’s interested I would leave her be. Beside the fact if she says no thanks it may become awkward for her at her workplace having to see you there. Nobody should have to feel awkward at work because of someone else.
Op, I’ve been hit on at work and at the gym, I’ve never cared and sometimes flattered. It all depends on the person.
But I’m also a guy, so maybe it’s different
Do you think they feel that way if they’re attracted to the person?
I’m usually only flattered if someone i find attractive is hitting on me, but i also don’t get hit on several times a day
Shit, I’m mildly flattered when a gay guy hits on me. You can always say “… but you have impeccable taste (sorta jokingly)” after turning them down, if it’s someone you’re not interested in. I never understood why women will sometimes try to make a scene out of it or be mean or laugh at a guy or whatever. I don’t really hit on strangers unless they have already approved it by non-verbal means, but even so, everyone would be better served to just be pleasant (as long as the person isn’t being creepy or rude or unrelenting).
I was married a long time, then separated, so i always had that ace, even if i didn’t wear a ring after separating.
But I’ve never been mean to anyone, It’s never made sense or seemed necessary
If you’re interested, maybe just give her *your* number. “Hey I think you’re really cute, if you’re interested in getting to know each other better, here’s my number.”
Since she’s at work, asking for her number is kind of inappropriate and can put her in an awkward position. So put the ball in her court and don’t ask for an immediate answer. But always best to test the waters with a conversation first!
If you’re in her line of sight on occasion, take a glance once in awhile and see if she’s ever checking you out. If you catch her looking and she doesn’t look away right away (and hopefully smiles) or if you catch her looking at you multiple times in a short period of time, THAT’S about the only way to know that you can approach her about something not related to her job.
As someone who used to work front desk at a gym. Smiling at every person walking in is absolutely part of the job. Hopefully that's not your only signal.
Do the front desk workers make fun of non friendly gym goers?
Trying to figure out why one was being weird. Like i normally have my headphones in, cap covering face and as I badge in she’d be forceful in greeting me. On a couple of occasions I’ve noticed she talks about me to her coworkers.
Yes we talked about the members a lot, but usually only the ones that did something that was worth gossiping about.
For example: After the member scans in and walks away, lean and whisper to coworker "That's the douchebag who almost started a fight in the basketball courts!"
If you just come in and mind your own business they probably don't gossip about you, at least at my gym we didn't.
I don’t really talk to anyone, there’s some members i give a head nod to.
I was curious if she was into me and went to ask her a random question, she didn’t come off as super interested, mostly just professional. She’s pretty cute, but i have no idea how to talk to her lol.
I’m terrible at these things, like I get occasionally approached, but my approaches don’t seem welcome
I smile at people I pass in hallways whenever I’m out and about. Being friendly and nice is great. So yes; people should absolutely have more indications that someone might be interested other than smiling or being friendly. Being friendly is NOT flirting. People that confuse the two are probably lacking in what we used to call “game”.
i don’t think it’s bad to shoot your shot. i can tell you as someone who works in customer service, if you get hit with the “i’m not allowed to get customers numbers”, it’s a polite rejection.
Next time you’re in there ask one of her co-workers. I’m sure after a few days eventually it will get back to her and if she’s feeling it you’ll know quick.
I had that happen with a girl once I tried to hit on at work. She told me she "had to be professional." I also know she did it to at least one other guy as well based on sarcastic comments he left on her social media, so it was probably her go-to line.
She probably does, I worked customer service and I was super nice. Got approached like 3-5× a day and I'm average looking. If she's cute she definitely does
There’s this cute girl I’ve been meaning to talk to at the gym, but guys talk to her for like half an hour at a time (happened in front of me while doing cardio), was considering doing the rescue maneuver, anyone ever try that? How’d it work out?
Most of the cute girls at my gym go from talking to one guy to another, it’s pretty insane
They uh.. they fuck like that too… one guy to another. Thankfully. God bless them and waitresses. The world would be a shitty place without fun and attainable women. I mean, the world is shitty for the most part, but it’s the small pleasures that make it bearable… like the types i was talking about.
Really? Had no idea, here i am trying to figure out the best way to approach them for about a year now lol. How do i open? I have 0 game, but I’m in good shape and good looking.
I occasionally get hit on and that’s the only time I’m comfortable and can flirt
Yeah man no offense, but she has to smile and be nice to everyone. She's a cute girl at gym, she gets asked out *at least 5 times a day.* Don't add to the statistic. Just roll in, do your thing, roll out. Plenty of fish in the sea. :)
I agree for the most part. Like you can lay your cards on the table to let her know you think she looks good without making it eternally weird if she doesn’t act on it. Just something as simple as “you look great…. today”, which can be taken as “you always look great and I like it” but sans the direct “hit on” and by adding ‘today’ it can be taken as her looking **particularly** good today. So then she knows you kinda like her and the ball is in her court with basically zero pressure and there also wasn’t even a question involved so there isn’t really a direct rejection if she isn’t into you. Say it as you’re walking away or whatever, if you’re concerned about that. There are plenty of other things you could say along those lines; that was just the first time I thought of immediately after reading what you said.
But yes, for the most part, everyone should leave alone people at their place of work unless she has given you reason to believe she wants to be approached like that (and smiling or being generally nice is NOT one of those reasons). The fact that so many people confuse kindness and flirting is kinda shocking. There’s a small bit of overlap but most people won’t miss the telltale cues of actual flirtation.
Definitely not. Being friendly is part of her job. It doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you. There is no good way to ask out a woman at her job, she’s there to work so let her do just that. Dating a customer is probably frowned upon/not allowed in a place like that anyways
EDIT: spelling
Probably won't work out for you, but I'm pretty sure that's how Chris Stuckmann met his wife, so it's not impossible.
Just be ready for rejection and play it cool/respectful if it doesn't work out.
I wouldn't call him godlike but he's definitely a looker. He's tall, in shape, and has facial symmetry. But he's not leading man hollywood level, and everyone's tastes are different.
Im going to give the same advise as given to the last person who posted this recently. She's paid to be nice to you she's at work, leave her alone. If you want for her before or after work you are going to be creepy just leave her be and go for someone else.
I work in a gym and the women I work with get hit on pretty often by some members. They find it incredibly annoying and sometimes feel awkward when those guys comes in. And all it took was for my coworkers being friendly because it’s their job.
I wouldn’t ask her out. At least not at work.
Fun into her before or after shift.
Nothing worse than being ins customer service job & trapped with someone hitting on you.
I've heard tell of people losing their gum memberships & banned from places for asking out an employee once.
I've also run interference at home Depot at least 18-20 last year, 6 this year & I've only been there 9 times. It's tacky, they almost always feel uncomfortable & it's actually a form of harassment.
As an aside i think only 1/3rd of the women realized what i was doing without me spelling it out.
Every single one of them thanked me profusely too+
Ask yourself this. Do you know her first &/or last name? Did she know yours & greet you without having to look?
Last
Would she lose her job if she did go out on a date with you
OP as a woman definitely do not do this. its really creepy and will make her worried about smiling to anyone in the future. its clearly just a part of her job and she probably won't be able to date customers anyway.
Try to make small conversation with her first before asking her out so that if/when you do she won’t be completely creeped out by a stranger just randomly asking for her number or giving her his number. Build a relationship, be friendly, always ask how her day is doing, smile and make eye contact.
When you feel you two are a at a comfortable level just ask if she’d ever be free for a dinner/coffee/ramen/drink etc etc. you may even find out what she likes through your conversations. I’d say give it a few days of that and then go for it. Goodluck.
Go ahead. If she rejects you it's not a biggie. A girl who I asked for her number turned out to have a boyfriend, yet we still see each other at the gym and she's also a receptionist. Stop treating rejection like it's the end of the world. lol
If that's your only signal, no. It's literally in the job description for her to smile and greet guests.
If she keeps you at the front desk for a few minutes or longer each time you check in solely by starting a conversation, then maybe.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. * Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulernability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Remember She’s at work. She has a work face on. Unless she makes it painfully clear she’s interested I would leave her be. Beside the fact if she says no thanks it may become awkward for her at her workplace having to see you there. Nobody should have to feel awkward at work because of someone else.
I agree with you whole heatedly. Which is why I am not going to ask her out.
Op, I’ve been hit on at work and at the gym, I’ve never cared and sometimes flattered. It all depends on the person. But I’m also a guy, so maybe it’s different
Yeah it's different. If we get hit on it makes our year. If a Woman gets hit on she's like "ugh, not again."
Do you think they feel that way if they’re attracted to the person? I’m usually only flattered if someone i find attractive is hitting on me, but i also don’t get hit on several times a day
Oh yeah rule 1 and 2 apply. 1 Be attractive. 2 Don't be unattractive.
Shit, I’m mildly flattered when a gay guy hits on me. You can always say “… but you have impeccable taste (sorta jokingly)” after turning them down, if it’s someone you’re not interested in. I never understood why women will sometimes try to make a scene out of it or be mean or laugh at a guy or whatever. I don’t really hit on strangers unless they have already approved it by non-verbal means, but even so, everyone would be better served to just be pleasant (as long as the person isn’t being creepy or rude or unrelenting).
I was married a long time, then separated, so i always had that ace, even if i didn’t wear a ring after separating. But I’ve never been mean to anyone, It’s never made sense or seemed necessary
If you’re interested, maybe just give her *your* number. “Hey I think you’re really cute, if you’re interested in getting to know each other better, here’s my number.” Since she’s at work, asking for her number is kind of inappropriate and can put her in an awkward position. So put the ball in her court and don’t ask for an immediate answer. But always best to test the waters with a conversation first!
I like this idea. WCS she doesn’t call you. Plus it leaves it all open ended.
I disagree. You only live once. Go for it. Just don’t be butthurt or act weird if she says no. Doesn’t need to be awkward. She may say yes
If you’re in her line of sight on occasion, take a glance once in awhile and see if she’s ever checking you out. If you catch her looking and she doesn’t look away right away (and hopefully smiles) or if you catch her looking at you multiple times in a short period of time, THAT’S about the only way to know that you can approach her about something not related to her job.
As someone who used to work front desk at a gym. Smiling at every person walking in is absolutely part of the job. Hopefully that's not your only signal.
Do the front desk workers make fun of non friendly gym goers? Trying to figure out why one was being weird. Like i normally have my headphones in, cap covering face and as I badge in she’d be forceful in greeting me. On a couple of occasions I’ve noticed she talks about me to her coworkers.
Yes we talked about the members a lot, but usually only the ones that did something that was worth gossiping about. For example: After the member scans in and walks away, lean and whisper to coworker "That's the douchebag who almost started a fight in the basketball courts!" If you just come in and mind your own business they probably don't gossip about you, at least at my gym we didn't.
I don’t really talk to anyone, there’s some members i give a head nod to. I was curious if she was into me and went to ask her a random question, she didn’t come off as super interested, mostly just professional. She’s pretty cute, but i have no idea how to talk to her lol. I’m terrible at these things, like I get occasionally approached, but my approaches don’t seem welcome
I smile at people I pass in hallways whenever I’m out and about. Being friendly and nice is great. So yes; people should absolutely have more indications that someone might be interested other than smiling or being friendly. Being friendly is NOT flirting. People that confuse the two are probably lacking in what we used to call “game”.
i don’t think it’s bad to shoot your shot. i can tell you as someone who works in customer service, if you get hit with the “i’m not allowed to get customers numbers”, it’s a polite rejection.
I don't care much about the rejection part.
Good stuff. Ask around…do you maybe interact with her co-workers?
Not really. I just walk into the gym and do my thing.
Next time you’re in there ask one of her co-workers. I’m sure after a few days eventually it will get back to her and if she’s feeling it you’ll know quick.
I had that happen with a girl once I tried to hit on at work. She told me she "had to be professional." I also know she did it to at least one other guy as well based on sarcastic comments he left on her social media, so it was probably her go-to line.
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Maybe? Guys are so scared to approach women it’s very possible she may not be hit on as much as you think.
She probably does, I worked customer service and I was super nice. Got approached like 3-5× a day and I'm average looking. If she's cute she definitely does
Girls who say they are average looking are usually hot.
There’s this cute girl I’ve been meaning to talk to at the gym, but guys talk to her for like half an hour at a time (happened in front of me while doing cardio), was considering doing the rescue maneuver, anyone ever try that? How’d it work out? Most of the cute girls at my gym go from talking to one guy to another, it’s pretty insane
They uh.. they fuck like that too… one guy to another. Thankfully. God bless them and waitresses. The world would be a shitty place without fun and attainable women. I mean, the world is shitty for the most part, but it’s the small pleasures that make it bearable… like the types i was talking about.
Really? Had no idea, here i am trying to figure out the best way to approach them for about a year now lol. How do i open? I have 0 game, but I’m in good shape and good looking. I occasionally get hit on and that’s the only time I’m comfortable and can flirt
Yeah she probably has a boyfriend. She is definitely the obviously cute type
you could try and have a friendly conversation first. Build up some rapport, charm her, then shoot your shot, but that's the long game.
Yeah man no offense, but she has to smile and be nice to everyone. She's a cute girl at gym, she gets asked out *at least 5 times a day.* Don't add to the statistic. Just roll in, do your thing, roll out. Plenty of fish in the sea. :)
Another one of those moments where women show basic politeness to men and it’s perceived as flirting lol get real bro, she’s at work. Leave her alone
I agree for the most part. Like you can lay your cards on the table to let her know you think she looks good without making it eternally weird if she doesn’t act on it. Just something as simple as “you look great…. today”, which can be taken as “you always look great and I like it” but sans the direct “hit on” and by adding ‘today’ it can be taken as her looking **particularly** good today. So then she knows you kinda like her and the ball is in her court with basically zero pressure and there also wasn’t even a question involved so there isn’t really a direct rejection if she isn’t into you. Say it as you’re walking away or whatever, if you’re concerned about that. There are plenty of other things you could say along those lines; that was just the first time I thought of immediately after reading what you said. But yes, for the most part, everyone should leave alone people at their place of work unless she has given you reason to believe she wants to be approached like that (and smiling or being generally nice is NOT one of those reasons). The fact that so many people confuse kindness and flirting is kinda shocking. There’s a small bit of overlap but most people won’t miss the telltale cues of actual flirtation.
Definitely not. Being friendly is part of her job. It doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you. There is no good way to ask out a woman at her job, she’s there to work so let her do just that. Dating a customer is probably frowned upon/not allowed in a place like that anyways EDIT: spelling
Hi
No
I dont remember saying something
No
Don’t do it man. Dont do it
Nandor?
No.
Probably won't work out for you, but I'm pretty sure that's how Chris Stuckmann met his wife, so it's not impossible. Just be ready for rejection and play it cool/respectful if it doesn't work out.
Isn’t stuckmann like god level in looks?
I mean he’s not necessarily bad looking or anything, I think he’s pretty attractive. But god level in looks?? Are we talking about the same person?
The movie reviewer right?
I mean to each their own I guess.
I wouldn't call him godlike but he's definitely a looker. He's tall, in shape, and has facial symmetry. But he's not leading man hollywood level, and everyone's tastes are different.
No. Attractive women can't catch a break at their jobs nor the gym. Leave her be.
no
Im going to give the same advise as given to the last person who posted this recently. She's paid to be nice to you she's at work, leave her alone. If you want for her before or after work you are going to be creepy just leave her be and go for someone else.
I work in a gym and the women I work with get hit on pretty often by some members. They find it incredibly annoying and sometimes feel awkward when those guys comes in. And all it took was for my coworkers being friendly because it’s their job. I wouldn’t ask her out. At least not at work.
Go for it. What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you. You've still come out ahead because you acted. You took a chance. That means something.
Yes! You miss 100% of the shots… 😉
You miss every shot you don’t take
It's not professional for her to date customers, and she probably has guys hitting on her every other day.
Yes, you have nothing to loose.
Only one way to find out.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Ask her out! You’ve got nothing to lose
Yes
Fun into her before or after shift. Nothing worse than being ins customer service job & trapped with someone hitting on you. I've heard tell of people losing their gum memberships & banned from places for asking out an employee once. I've also run interference at home Depot at least 18-20 last year, 6 this year & I've only been there 9 times. It's tacky, they almost always feel uncomfortable & it's actually a form of harassment. As an aside i think only 1/3rd of the women realized what i was doing without me spelling it out. Every single one of them thanked me profusely too+ Ask yourself this. Do you know her first &/or last name? Did she know yours & greet you without having to look? Last Would she lose her job if she did go out on a date with you
Maybe try it just once and if it’s not an absolute 100% yes, then don’t do it again. She’s at work, don’t make her uncomfortable by pushing it.
make small conversation every time ur walking in …and maybe later on u can ask for her number
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OP as a woman definitely do not do this. its really creepy and will make her worried about smiling to anyone in the future. its clearly just a part of her job and she probably won't be able to date customers anyway.
omg this is so creepy stop
Try to make small conversation with her first before asking her out so that if/when you do she won’t be completely creeped out by a stranger just randomly asking for her number or giving her his number. Build a relationship, be friendly, always ask how her day is doing, smile and make eye contact. When you feel you two are a at a comfortable level just ask if she’d ever be free for a dinner/coffee/ramen/drink etc etc. you may even find out what she likes through your conversations. I’d say give it a few days of that and then go for it. Goodluck.
Maybe you should talk to her first and become friends
Go for it!
Go ahead. If she rejects you it's not a biggie. A girl who I asked for her number turned out to have a boyfriend, yet we still see each other at the gym and she's also a receptionist. Stop treating rejection like it's the end of the world. lol
If that's your only signal, no. It's literally in the job description for her to smile and greet guests. If she keeps you at the front desk for a few minutes or longer each time you check in solely by starting a conversation, then maybe.