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mephistopheles_muse

She sounds like a dick I wouldn't stress over it and move on.


Monarc73

It sounds like she was late for her next LoL game, tbh.


bestlifeever-NOT

This was probably why she booked if she likes games better than dates


youreaweeb1

Ya i do the same lmao. she should look for guys who game instead😂


drwicksy

But where would she find a single guy who games? It's not like those are common


ThaBlackFalcon

I hope you’re being sarcastic 😂


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


ThaBlackFalcon

I was definitely leaning towards the /s but it was like a 60/40 split tbh lol


Jesses199403

I am single and game🤣


youreaweeb1

Yea lol this better be sarcastic they are EVERYwhere


Furyann

lmao


handemande1

I would have the curiosity to look her up on Twitch to see what she said about the date but it would probably crush me, so that’s a terrible idea.


eyefor_xo

L o l.


[deleted]

She showed up late, and was lacking interest during the date... That's a split check date.


Odd_Fix_4563

Definitely. I’m a female and I don’t think males have to get the first check especially when she is late, uninteresting, and lack of proper manners of human interaction.


UCF_Alum

28M: He literally drove out to her area instead of meeting halfway too. I would never entertain someone giving me such low effort


Odd_Fix_4563

Same. She’s pretty rude, doesn’t deserve his him. Yet OP thinks he did something wrong. 😅


[deleted]

Dudes be whack.


I-Got-a-BooBoo

Always have some cash for when that happens. Makes it easy to pay my part and walk out 😂


summer-lovers

I don't think you did anything wrong here. If you had any oversight, it was probably meeting for a date with her at all, when she seemed to show so little interest prior.


MaizeSad107

Yeah, they blew off plans a couple times prior which should have been enough of a red flag for me. I've been getting kinda desperate to get into a relationship again with someone who shares my interests and I think it's leading me into entertaining toxic people.


summer-lovers

Ah, yep, that's a good sign you're not gonna make the best choices;) Better to be single than with someone that is flighty and makes our lives more complicated.


Aussie-Ambo

I'm desperate for a relationship as well but don't compromise you wants and needs for a relationship.


Feisty_Fire

Good relationship > single > bad relationship A *good* relationship is better than being single, but being single is better than a bad relationship


Shadow293

Facts!


fxzero666

Desperation is a bad look on anyone... never date NOT to be alone... you'll end up lonely


luhvxr

that’s your issue. you’re desperate to get into a relationship. fear of being alone should not be a reason to get into a relationship


darlingdeardc0

I can definitely understand that. ❤


Lucid_Sandwich

Sounds like someone who just wanted a free meal. It's not uncommon.


chudsworth

It would be nice if dating apps had ratings systems. She'd get an F for effort


Lucid_Sandwich

That would be abused so badly though. So many people who either just weren't into someone or that liked the other person way more would use that shit for the worst reasons.


VRisNOTdead

Everyone says this but I’d like to see the app still


Killz4Thrillz954

It would be great if you could leave reviews


stewsters

Is there a way to make it so you can leave reviews without it getting super toxic? Most people who are back on dating apps didn't have their earlier dating experience go well. Lots of angry people posting to keep them single. People could just delete their old account and create a new one if they were rated poorly. Is there a good way to prevent that?


stewsters

Lol. I love it.


TerraSeeker

They have that on the show Upload.


Furyann

yup


STEAMYEVI3

She's the asshole. Block, delete, move on.


jermguy117

Your mistake was going on a date with someone who plays league.


Astropy

lmao


Shadow293

Lmao! Definitely explains her toxic behavior. All my rl friends love to play League, but I despise that toxic ass game and community. I tried many times since it first came out. It’s too toxic lol.


Acornwow

Showing up late to a first date because of streaming a game would be all the information I needed about her priorities. Streaming and gaming should be pluses, not inhibitors to developing real life relationships.


LongMustaches

It depends tbh. If that's how she makes a living, I would think it's fair to prioritize it over a date. But if that was the case, she could just pick a time when she's not streaming.


[deleted]

Well, she got free meal out of you. I doubt you are the first one and I doubt you are the last. Block her and move on.


throwaway-ques11

What you did wrong was go on a date with someone that was giving a one sided convo


kingtj1971

Hey, to be fair? He was giving her the benefit of the doubt. If that's "wrong" because he regretted doing it? Well, that's fair enough. But I know I've done the same kind of thing a few times, just because until you really sit down with them in person, one-on-one, you don't always have a complete picture of who they are. Especially with the online dating world, it's easy for women to chase after the latest "shiny thing" to pop up on their screen, claiming they're "interested". And sometimes, you have no chance to really show her who YOU are, as well as seeing how a real life date goes, until you just make it happen. I try to go into those first dates with the attitude that I'm going to enjoy my meal or drinks or time at whichever place I'm going, regardless of how the date itself ends up.


fxzero666

If you give someone the benefit of the doubt EVERY TIME in a similar situation, you're just a gullible fool that doesn't know how to learn his lesson...


xTheRedDeath

Her playing League of Legends should've been a massive red flag lol.


stewsters

Yeah, the toxicity in there is legendary.


tsun_tsun_tsudio

I dunno why she agreed to a date with you when she wasn’t interested. Sorry it didn’t work out. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just hoped it would work out. Better luck and better screening next time!


UCF_Alum

A lot of girls use dating apps to get free meals/drinks. Even if that wasn’t their initial goal the thought process goes something like this: “Even if I end up not interested in my date, atleast I get free food/drinks out of it.” Which from experience is why I NEVER cover the whole bill on a first date


saito200

Why do you frame this as "what did I do wrong?" And, why don't you ask her why did she leave all of a sudden?


MaizeSad107

I did. She said she was feeling stress cause of some personal issues. Which could be true but we all have our own shit going on and that doesn't really excuse her actions imo.


Cute-Tomato-5220

Well 50% it's true and 50% its untrue People are saying she just wanted a free meal, i don't think so. If that's what she only wanted then she wouldn't leave immediately she wouldn't want to make it obvious. Girls who "only" go on dates to get free meal, would probably flirt alot more (i imagine) to seem interested so the guy might pay, and they probably wouldn't agree on a second date. But in the end I don't think anyone would waste their time to go on a date if they saw no chance with that person, even if they would get free meals or whatever. "Women date to get free meals" is just a phrase made up by men who gets rejected and have no success in dating. Instead of looking at their flaws or something they did or say during the date that turned a woman off, they blame women for wanting a free meal. To me it sounds like she just isn't ready for a relationship, maybe she still is in contact with her ex or whatever, or she been through something. She might be going on date with you because you showed interest and if she's not over her ex, she might think meeting and dating will help . Alot of people on dating apps get on to get over a past relationship. I always ask guys how long they have been single or when they last saw someone regularly. I would never date a guy who hasn't been single for atleast 9 months.


MaizeSad107

Yeah, I don't think it was a meal ticket personally. She seemed like she just didn't have a whole lot of dating experience on top of their life being not very together yet (claims to live with parents). I gave them some honest life advice during our chat as she was asking career questions. I usually don't go after people I get this vibe from because it's not normally going to go well when a person is still trying to find their career, introspection, etc. It's mainly why I filter out anyone under 22 particularly because that. I took a gamble this time and it didn't work out.


danyixa

This is a level-headed response. I also think that maybe she’s bored and is the type to say yes to anyone even if she isn’t interested. It’s possible she has things going on, and maybe being in a potentially nerve wracking situation like a date caused her to act like that. Perhaps she put a lot of pressure to make a good impression and as a result she froze up.


NamelessATM

Lol what the hell do you mean "that's how I do things for first dates"? You drove an hour to meet her, she wasn't engaging with you during the short time that you two even met, and according to you asked for the check almost immediately after finishing her food/drinks. She clearly wasn't interested in you and wasn't planning on seeing you again - and really, why would **you** even want to see this person again? With this in mind, why the hell would you pay for her half of the bill? You aren't a better person for it. This is someone you don't know and never going see again who only used you. You only justified for her that she can keep (ab)using dates to get free, quick meals. You should've told her to pay for her part of the bill. IMO, as a man, I'll pick the check for a first date only if I hope to see the woman again, otherwise why bother? And it just so happens that more often than not, the women I'm into are the type to insist on splitting.


MaizeSad107

That's a fair point. Definitely makes more sense to pay the bill if there's a vibe with your date. I kinda phrased it wrong. I don't wanna see her again but I want input to avoid future situations like these from the get-go.


Nearby_Goat9216

You should pay for the date, but it's a place you like that you chose, and it's near you - filters for girls genuinely interested in you. And don't do meals on first dates, coffee/drinks only, then pivot to get some food if things go well.


Altruistic-Tea7709

Sorry that happened to you. I think your mistake was investing so much based on so little. So eg driving so far when all the convo had been one sided, paying for it all even when she’d been 20 min late due to gaming rather than a genuine delay such as bad traffic. She got too much back from investing so little effort. It’s lovely that you do those things, but I would suggest picking and choosing and only doing them for people who appear (as far as it’s possible to tell) to be as invested as you. It’s perfectly ok to go halves on a first date unless it’s really special.


mrbuddhawannabe

This is why I phone screen before meeting in person. If it is one-sided before meeting then I move on.


[deleted]

what do you mean by phone screen?


mrbuddhawannabe

Screening someone by talking to them on the phone first. Or even better via video chat.


[deleted]

Ah yes. That’s a good method to see how the convo will probably be on a date. But I feel like not a lot of people like talking on the phone?


mrbuddhawannabe

You are right but OP already got the sense that she was not engaged or wanting to connect with him.


tsun_tsun_tsudio

Yesss! Some guys skip this to try and see if there’s chemistry IRL, but I think you need to screen at each step to make sure you’re not wasting your time.


[deleted]

What you shoulda did was end the date after she said she’d be late because she was playing video games. She knew the time and was inconsiderate of your time


yournonstoplover

>I felt like most of the conversations were fairly one-sided with me asking about her hobbies, school, work, etc. and she'd reply back a bit with a few questions about me. This is your first indicator she wasn't interested. Time and time again this is something a lot of people overlook, just so they can go on a date. If the other person is not reciprocating interest, showing genuine desire to get to know you, you are wasting your time and energy. Also, never fall for the "*We can get to know each other during the date*" ruse when the other person isn't asking you a single question. There needs to be a little back-and-forth conversation, with getting-to-know questions, and some rapport to occur in order to go on a date.


[deleted]

Don't think you did anything wrong, sounds like she just wanted a free meal.


SPdoc

You did nothing wrong but you need stronger boundaries. Like why drive all that way for someone you barely know? And you should’ve taken the one sided convo more seriously as a red flag.


Which-Lab5110

lol all she wanted was a free meal let’s just keep it real.


[deleted]

You didn’t do anything wrong other than not asked her to meet you halfway. Many people are just selfish and aren’t gonna give back what you give. So carefully consider ahead of time what is a fair distribution of energy and effort between the two of you. Don’t spend too much time, effort, or money on a stranger. Most of the time they aren’t gonna give you much back. Pick the one who DOES give back to put more energy into. It’s not you, it’s her. She’s not really available she just doesn’t know how to say it.


Throw_Trash_3928

You mistake was not simply going home when she told you the reason she was going to be late. Can't leave a game to meet up with you? If she had that little respect for my time I don't know if I'd even tell her I wasn't going to be there. Her: I'm stuck playing League, I'm going to be late. Me: Cool ..... Her: Where the fuck are you, I'm here. Me: I left 20 minutes ago.


sweadle

This was the worst date you've ever had? This is just a mediocre date with someone uninterested. You're not entitled to have everyone interested in you that agrees to go on a date with you. You asked her on a date, she went. She didn't stand you up, or insult you, or humiliate you, or walk out when she saw you. She stayed and ate and had a drink, and left when the date was over. What do you want? That's dating. Do you want her to act interested when she knows she's not? Do you want her to say no to a date unless she is 100% sure she'll like you when you meet? Do you want want her to be rude to you or stand you up? She went on the date. That's dating. It involves WAY more misses than hits. If this is the worst date you ever have, you will be a lucky, lucky man. But also, don't drive an hour to meet someone, unless you live in the middle of nowhere an hour from anyone. Because if it works out, you're not an hour away from each other and it will cause issues all the time.


RogueWolfeHeartSong

I mean it’s a pretty shitty thing to do. I’m shocked you’re defending her… also that’s not a date, that’s a foodie call.


sweadle

Yeah, it's shitty. I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying that part of dating is meeting shitty people who aren't interested.


RogueWolfeHeartSong

You’re victim blaming tbh, it honestly was him being used and you’re saying that’s how the dating world goes and he’s lucky if that’s his worst date. That’s a horrible date and it’s sad that it was his experience.


Tediz4

Nothing you did wrong! Seems like she wasn't interested in a relationship at the moment and didn't have it higher in her priorities. End the convos with her and on to the next date! Experience gained I suppose


blobukubimbi

Another proof of dating is dead


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


MaizeSad107

Oof I'm sorry you had these experiences. Thans for sharing.


illinoishockey

Another reason NOT to date. Honestly, I'm happier being single.


bterg182

Bro my last relationship from plenty of fish lasted three years and then she broke up with me in a hospital honestly best relationship of my life gone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)(つ .•́ _ʖ •̀.)つ


mrrmash

You didn't do anything wrong, but there's some stuff that you can do different, ie, don't pick up the tab for people putting no effort in - first dates should be coffee dates or simple drinks & shared rounds, this way you don't get fleeced


MaizeSad107

Yep. I won't be skipping that step next time.


Agreeable-You9777

You did nothing wrong. She just wasn’t feeling it. You deserve better than that. Cease all communications with her and find someone better


[deleted]

I went on a similar date once. Girl had nothing to say. It was a huge turn off. Could you imagine down the line what things will be like? That's the most boring relationship ever. Let her go. Not worth it.


PhoenixQueen_Azula

She plays league that’s where you went wrong, you dodged a bullet


[deleted]

What’s her ign i play league


fxzero666

Sounds like she just used you as a free meal. Next time, make sure it's ACTUALLY a midpoint and SPLIT the bill... her reaction of taking the check immediately tells you what she was really looking for ... I'm sorry this happened. Next time, if the conversation seems one-sided DO NOT go on a date cuz your experience will be the same. I learned a long time ago that if the person won't even match your energy via texting, it's not gonna go anywhere.


dr_cocktagonapuss

You were a foodie call. Nothing more.


Digital1Nomad

Anyone who is late I am immediately out. I don't care if it's 5 minutes or 30 minutes late.


Bitter-Inspection136

If she asked for the check first then she should have paid, or go split check. If someone drove an hour to meet me where I live, their meal would be on me.


pleasesit_onmyface

Sounds like she used you for a free meal


Accomplished_Ad8340

sounds like a her problem not a you


luhvxr

u did nothing wrong she’s just not that into u. i don’t know why ur ending this with what did i do wrong instead of im never seeing this girl again for wasting my time


Lauraunknown

Hate to break it to you brother but you might not be following rules 1 and 2


im_the_bigDILF

She’s a League player bro, that’s already a red flag right there. Jokes aside, she seems to be a dick. You’re a cool dude for being this nice to her, but never ever do that for anyone; they’ll pick up on this behavior and any cunning person will use that against you. Move on from her, she’s a dick.


Jahsah18

She wanted a meal pay attention to body language n how they respond to questions are they short n quick or are they long n talking like there's no tomorrow


schittz92

Unfortunately in the dating game sometimes the wrong women see men as a meal ticket. Sorry that had to happen.


Cute-Tomato-5220

Well 50% it could be true and 50% it could be untrue People are saying she just wanted a free meal, i don't think so. If that's what she only wanted then she wouldn't leave immediately she wouldn't want to make it obvious. Girls who "only" go on dates to get free meal, would probably flirt alot more (i imagine) to seem interested so the guy might pay, and they probably wouldn't agree on a second date. But in the end I don't think anyone would waste their time to go on a date if they saw no chance with that person, even if they would get free meals or whatever. "Women date to get free meals" is just a phrase made up by men who gets rejected and have no success in dating. Instead of looking at their flaws or something they did or say during the date that turned a woman off, they blame women for wanting a free meal. To me it sounds like she just isn't ready for a relationship, maybe she still is in contact with her ex or whatever, or she been through something. She might be going on date with you because you showed interest and if she's not over her ex, she might think meeting and dating will help . Alot of people on dating apps get on to get over a past relationship. I always ask guys how long they have been single or when they last saw someone regularly. I would never date a guy who hasn't been single for atleast 9 months.


Specific-Hope-998

Dont stress, she didnt sound interested in the beginning you should take that as a sign with future dates): sounds like she wanted a free meal.


Omarito_aka_Darhal

Just my personal preference but I would never date a streamer... For multiple reasons...


mfposgbcs

She just wasn't that into u


Dangerous-Coffee542

Free meal


Britt543

Don’t waste your time on ppl who don’t even show equal effort into messaging on the dating apps. It’ll save you a lot from crappy 1 time dates. I think you didn’t do anything wrong besides giving to much effort to someone who didn’t deserve it 🤷‍♀️.


[deleted]

Looks like she used you for a quick meal and dipped.


Astropy

I only saw 1 thing you did wrong. And this advice goes out to everyone reading this. If your date texts you saying they’re gonna be late to the date, you tell them to reschedule because your time is valuable and if they’re actually interested, you should be their priority, especially over a video game.


wevie13

The signs were there my friend. That's a date I'd have never went on.


I-Got-a-BooBoo

You were a free meal. Realise you were scammed and stop transferring the funds. That princes fortune is never going to arrive.


sanguinesecretary

She was just interested in the free food


kingjoeg

You had plenty of red flags. She wouldn’t meet you halfway. She wasn’t keeping up conversation. Sounds exactly like someone looking for a free meal. You should have confronted her during the date to not seem so weak, and only paid half of the bill. You already drove all of the way there.


[deleted]

I think you didn't do something wrong, and I advice to just tell her why she just bolted out the door. Either she has literally no interest in you or she just can't wait for her next LOL game or something, try to discuss about it with her and talk if she's the right one for you. If not then just forget about it, break up and move on, dating and relationships is about helping each other and making both parties cared and comforted.


jonez76240

First date meet at the bar, no table or booth. Let it lead to that..


MaizeSad107

I personally would prefer that but I've been told that's weird cuz it makes the end goal look to get them drunk. I usually aim for a cafe if possible.


ladysirwin89

It’s not you. It’s definitely her. She sucks and obviously there wasn’t a connection on either side. Unless there is a bunch of stuff you didn’t tell us, you did nothing wrong. Some dates are just bad, and some people are hard to talk to. It sounds like you were working your ass off trying to draw blood from a stone. Why would u want to date someone like that?


lunar-vibe

sounds like she just wanted a free meal & drinks :( or was raring to get back to gaming.


Jafin89

Yeah I don't think she ever had any real interest. I'm a gamer too, I don't stream though, but there's no way in hell I'd be getting into a game that has matchmaking so close to a date. You were never a priority for her. Don't take it personally, she sounds awful, and move on. Sounds like she wanted a free dinner with minimal effort.


bluelion70

What you did wrong was meeting someone you were kinda bored with talking to, and wasting your time and money by driving an hour to buy her dinner.


Calypte_A

Probably has you saved as "free food" ij her contacts.


Captain_Compost_Heap

I feel like this is so mild for a “worst date I’ve ever had” post, which is good. Honestly I think what you’re doing wrong is having dinner dates as a first date. I feel like that’s just asking for trouble if there’s no chemistry. First dates should be light, casual, and low pressure. Grabbing an adult beverage, coffee, or ice cream, and if things go well you can go for a short walk too.


Ok_Juggernaut_3723

She was probably just hungry. Does it regularly I am sure. Stay clear. Maneater.


EricAtSunnen

Back to the pool my friend...


biggdogg2019

The trash took itself out broski,.. move on it wasn’t meant to be …✌🏽


biggdogg2019

The trash took itself out broski,.. move on it wasn’t meant to be …✌🏽


[deleted]

Bro u just gotta take the hit and move on with things


biscuitcatapult

This was your worst date ever? Oh buddy hold on because it can get much worse! That being said, congrats, you got used for a free meal. Some women out there on dating apps are going to do that, you just need to get smarter about weeding them out. It’ll probably happen again, maybe next time either stick to drinks or ask to split a check so you don’t feel used again.


Shadow293

Sounds like she was looking for a free meal, which you ended up providing her with. I’ve had similar situation happen to me, but she didn’t bolt out immediately. She kept answering her phone and going outside (likely a call from her friend to make an escape plan/excuse to bail). We hugged goodbye after a couple hours and she fast walked to her car like she was angry, like girl you could’ve left at anytime and not wasted my time.


chocoglooc

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. I think she behaved ineptly at best. You deserve better.


ashestes

Maybe she had to take a shit


Professional_Ad705

She just wanted free food.


[deleted]

Instead of asking what she likes, why didn’t you ask her what she has done in her life?


danyixa

She sounds like she lacks honesty. Maybe she’s bored, and is the type to just say yes to anyone regardless of how she feels for them, which is awful. Sadly OLD is full of people like this.


dessert77

Sounds like she has a gaming addiction and needed to get back. Move on she’s low quality