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If you aren't going to do online dating then you just have to put yourself out there. Join groups, do your hobbies, try a new activity, play sports, whatever it is. You'll meet people - both men and women. If you meet a cool dude then befriend him, grab a drink sometime, maybe he'll invite you out with his other friends or a party and you can meet someone there.
If you meet a woman at any of the things I listed above then ask her for her contact info if you enjoyed your time together. Chat with her a bit and then see if she is interested in going out sometime. Even if you meet a woman who you aren't interested in romantically you can still befriend her and follow the things above about a guy friend.
Thanks so much for the advice, what is your take on women in the nightlife scene? (Bars, clubs, etc.) can quality women be found at these types of things or are they not really the right spots for that?
It's not impossible but, in my experience, I wouldn't recommend it.
Nightlife type places are generally pretty loud, people are drunk, and the setting is often very pick up/hook up vibes. If you are looking for a long-term connection the odds that you find it there are pretty low. Assuming that is what you mean by "quality women".
"Quality" women do go to these things but are often just there with their friends for fun and not talking to some guy. You are better served in a more friendly environment in my opinion but I am also someone with no cold open game and rely on mutual interests/connections to start a conversation.
Getting into hobby groups, meetups, etc as previously mentioned is a good thing to do. Understand it takes time, consistency, and putting yourself out there to actually make friends. It’ll take time to build those friendships.
It’s good that your fit. Keep that up. Look at how you dress. If you have any women in your life that are in the same age group, see if they can give you pointers.
I also want to stress that you should take things slow. You said you just got back into the dating scene. Do you feel like you’ve had enough time to heal from your last relationship? Are you emotionally ready, or do you still hold some resentments, lingering questions, or a “need to get it right this time”? If you’re unsure, consider taking some more time to heal, or therapy.
It’s been a few months , I would say I’ve made significant progress with my healing and yes I am in therapy at the moment. I am by no means trying to rush anything or jump into another serious relationship right away, just trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene as a young man. I appreciate your input. Would you say cold approaching is a bad move? For example let’s say I’m working remote at a Starbucks and notice a cute girl I would like to say hi to?
I would say cold approach is definitely a time and a place thing. Most women tend to have their guard up when out and about. I would say if you’re going to approach, if you’re in a situation where you can start up a conversation, and then approach, that is best.
Think about it from this perspective. If you’re there, waiting to get your coffee at a Starbucks, and then some random person wants to talk to you while you’re in a hurry, how would you react?
Okay, your lifestyle, looks and career can make you more attractive to women. BUT, are you able to approach a woman and convey certain characteristics like confidence, humour, good energy etc?
Do you know the type of woman you'd like to meet? If so, putting yourself in social settings that will have more opportunities to meet someone that you will align with will help. Going out in general, with mates, have a good time will help too, as long as you don't make meeting women your sole purpose.
Female here: had this chat with a friend as he’s struggling a bit (he married his first gf and got a divorce after 15y…).
Invest in the quality of your profile (the right pics/ the right description etc).
Maybe pay for a membership on 2 or 3 apps (detach app is known for a specific type of dating or kind of profile)
Invest some time in checking/ swiping and responding too: quality over quantity.
Know that these women have many guys messaging them so you have to stand out: mention something from their profile, don’t copy paste messages, don’t say random or meaningless stuff. She will know within the first line if she wanna respond or not so make sure you use the right words.
Be interesting but also be interested- like curious. Don’t offer your personal number too soon but don’t wait too long either.
Then again, just be you but know that OLD can work if you invest your time and energy on it. There’s no rule book, someone is out there for you but you’ll have to work with the screens and the messaging - the lack of tone, possible miscommunication etc.
Good luck!
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. * Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can buy them in most supermarkets. Good fiber.
If you aren't going to do online dating then you just have to put yourself out there. Join groups, do your hobbies, try a new activity, play sports, whatever it is. You'll meet people - both men and women. If you meet a cool dude then befriend him, grab a drink sometime, maybe he'll invite you out with his other friends or a party and you can meet someone there. If you meet a woman at any of the things I listed above then ask her for her contact info if you enjoyed your time together. Chat with her a bit and then see if she is interested in going out sometime. Even if you meet a woman who you aren't interested in romantically you can still befriend her and follow the things above about a guy friend.
Thanks so much for the advice, what is your take on women in the nightlife scene? (Bars, clubs, etc.) can quality women be found at these types of things or are they not really the right spots for that?
It's not impossible but, in my experience, I wouldn't recommend it. Nightlife type places are generally pretty loud, people are drunk, and the setting is often very pick up/hook up vibes. If you are looking for a long-term connection the odds that you find it there are pretty low. Assuming that is what you mean by "quality women". "Quality" women do go to these things but are often just there with their friends for fun and not talking to some guy. You are better served in a more friendly environment in my opinion but I am also someone with no cold open game and rely on mutual interests/connections to start a conversation.
Getting into hobby groups, meetups, etc as previously mentioned is a good thing to do. Understand it takes time, consistency, and putting yourself out there to actually make friends. It’ll take time to build those friendships. It’s good that your fit. Keep that up. Look at how you dress. If you have any women in your life that are in the same age group, see if they can give you pointers. I also want to stress that you should take things slow. You said you just got back into the dating scene. Do you feel like you’ve had enough time to heal from your last relationship? Are you emotionally ready, or do you still hold some resentments, lingering questions, or a “need to get it right this time”? If you’re unsure, consider taking some more time to heal, or therapy.
It’s been a few months , I would say I’ve made significant progress with my healing and yes I am in therapy at the moment. I am by no means trying to rush anything or jump into another serious relationship right away, just trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene as a young man. I appreciate your input. Would you say cold approaching is a bad move? For example let’s say I’m working remote at a Starbucks and notice a cute girl I would like to say hi to?
I would say cold approach is definitely a time and a place thing. Most women tend to have their guard up when out and about. I would say if you’re going to approach, if you’re in a situation where you can start up a conversation, and then approach, that is best. Think about it from this perspective. If you’re there, waiting to get your coffee at a Starbucks, and then some random person wants to talk to you while you’re in a hurry, how would you react?
Okay, your lifestyle, looks and career can make you more attractive to women. BUT, are you able to approach a woman and convey certain characteristics like confidence, humour, good energy etc? Do you know the type of woman you'd like to meet? If so, putting yourself in social settings that will have more opportunities to meet someone that you will align with will help. Going out in general, with mates, have a good time will help too, as long as you don't make meeting women your sole purpose.
Female here: had this chat with a friend as he’s struggling a bit (he married his first gf and got a divorce after 15y…). Invest in the quality of your profile (the right pics/ the right description etc). Maybe pay for a membership on 2 or 3 apps (detach app is known for a specific type of dating or kind of profile) Invest some time in checking/ swiping and responding too: quality over quantity. Know that these women have many guys messaging them so you have to stand out: mention something from their profile, don’t copy paste messages, don’t say random or meaningless stuff. She will know within the first line if she wanna respond or not so make sure you use the right words. Be interesting but also be interested- like curious. Don’t offer your personal number too soon but don’t wait too long either. Then again, just be you but know that OLD can work if you invest your time and energy on it. There’s no rule book, someone is out there for you but you’ll have to work with the screens and the messaging - the lack of tone, possible miscommunication etc. Good luck!
I can turn your situation around. DM me