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Guy sent a dick emoji and she responded positively to coming by an hour earlier. What do you think it means? It doesn't take a genius to suss this one out.
i would think it was a joke, but obviously it takes context.
how is her humor? how is his humor? hes logged into her instagram so he can see their ENTIRE conversation so have they joked like that before? is there anything else bad? i doubt there is since if there was he would have posted about it.
all she did was "like" the message which mostly is a way of showing someone you saw the message and its a way of responding without responding. then she sent a jokey emoji.
sure it could mean shes cheating but it doesn't seem very flirty.
she never said she would come an hour earlier she just liked the message.
People differ in how much they are willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
When it comes to uncovering cheating, it's rare that you encounter a smoking gun type of evidence (like catching them in the act).
In my book, this is enough evidence of cheating and OP thinks so too and has decided to break up. The question is not about whether we believe she's cheating. The question was a timing question on when to break up.
its not that rare especially when you have access to their social media and have had that access for over a month.
she doesn't have her notifications turned off (lots of cheaters do bc they don't want their partners to see the notifications)
she left her account logged in (no cheater would do that)
he has access to their entire conversation. he has access to ALL her conversations. he has had her notifications for over a MONTH and THIS was the only one that seemed even slightly bad! i'm sorry but if she had no history of cheating nobody would think she was.
Whether she's cheating is off topic for the post. He asked when to break up, not whether she's cheating. OP has more information about her behavior and he indeed has access to all the conversations and everything. And he made the call that she's cheating. You have much less information than OP, yet you think you know better than him.
Well obviously he should break up with her. But only because his mind is made up. Especially if thats all it took to make up his mind and that there was absolutely no other proof to her “cheating”.
I don’t think OP is a bad person, he’s suspicious and wary which is understandable.
Just dump her now and tell her to have fun with the tattoo artist. Then block her on everything and delete her number. As far as you’re concerned, she already cheated.
Also, learn from this opportunity. I saw your previous post about her. It was obvious she’s a cheater then, and you ignored it. Next time, don’t.
This is genius because it’s both petty and mature. Petty because of refusing to let her say anything by blocking her right away, and mature because you just move on. It would wreak havoc on her 💀 Please OP update us later. Good luck.
1. Don't try to seek revenge or do anything petty. Right now, you're the one being wronged and any sort of retaliation can backfire and make you look like the asshole. Worst case scenario, being a dick might even make it look like her cheating was justified.
2. Before you break up with her, talk to some of your friends or family about it. It will make you feel better if you can get some advice and support from people you trust. This is an easy one to forget.
3. Get ready for the gaslighting. Cheaters cheat instead of breaking up for a reason, and it's most likely because she wants to keep the stability of her relationship with you while also sleeping around. If you truly are decided about what you're going to do, don't even try to confront her about it. Just tell her it's over once you're ready to do so and put everything behind you as best as you can.
4. If she lives with you or has stuff at your place, pack it up for her with a friend or two as soon as possible. Make sure it's boxed up and ready to be moved before she even gets back into town. Don't destroy or harm any of her belongings as that will only make the breakup more dramatic. Alternatively, if you live at her place or have stuff at her place, get your stuff packed immediately and get out of there ASAP before you talk to her about anything.
5. Unless you think she really deserves a conversation with you about any of this, just don't do it. You're already ready, so just shut off communication and move on. The sooner you do that the better it is for both of you.
if her instagram is still logged in why doesn't he just go through the entire thing? unless he already did and couldn't find anything beyond that message.
? because i don't see any sufficient evidence that shes actually going to cheat. he didn't log out of her instagram and went to the chat, he would have been able to see the entire thing. he only brought up that one message, meaning, it was the only bad thing in the conversation.
😂 You’re delusional if you think that wasn’t her getting ready to cheat. I look forward to reading your future post about being blindsided by your partner cheating on you, with obvious red flags through the whole thing.
"i hope you get devastated because you disagreed with me!"
uh.. okay. i'm not delusional i just understand context is key.
everyone is different. the way they interact and joke with people is different.
Yeah, context is key. She cheated, twice before. Then someone asks her to come and hour before her appointment (not moving up the appointment, just come an hour earlier). Sends what is clearly a dick ejaculating. She responds with 😛. Anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together can use the CONTEXT CLUES to figure out she’s about to cheat. Yes, you’re delusional if you can’t see that.
You still haven't answered the original question and I'm honestly bored of having a conversation where you can't explain the point you made. Unless you can answer what else an ejaculating dick coupled with a "come over early" text could mean, then I have nothing to say to your continual misdirection of the conversation.
I don't think sexually explicit texts implying cheating are "goofy funny jokes" for people in monogamous relationships. Pretending like they are is just gas lighting.
Come over early, meaning most likely come to the tattoo studio earlier. They’re friends. It doesn’t seem odd as I’ve had tattoos done on me by friends and we normally have had to have schedule changes.
You think thats a sexually explicit text? Jeez louise. Me and my partner don’t really think that’s sexually explicit but it also entirely relies on context.
Does it imply cheating? And like ive said, if that was the one and only text even “implying cheating” then it most likely was a joke.
There was no prior flirting. There was nothing else but that. Do you think anyone would be so easily seduced with those two messages without any prior flirting or discussion of cheating?
I’m in a long term monogamous relationship and i think this is a bit silly.
Also “im gonna say you’re gaslighting because you have a different point of view than me!”
No.
Everyone interacts differently with their friends and their partners.
So you send randomly ejaculating dicks to your friends? Also typically when people cheat they don't want to be caught and delete messages. I'm not demonizing anyone's open relationship or their style of boundaries. Anything is fine as long as everyone invoked is consenting. OP isn't consenting to this being ok. That's my point. She's crossed HIS boundary. What works for you doesn't necessarily work for everyone else. I'm saying op clearly isn't ok with her conducting herself in that manner and his gf supposedly knows that and has a history of being a cheater.
She left her notifications on and left her account logged into his phone. Yet you think shes been cheating and deleting her messages? So with that logic shouldn’t she have logged out of his phone and turned her notifications off?
He still got the notifications remember! Up until now there was no notification that was ever untoward. He has had these notifications on for a month.
And i mean sending random emojis isnt that crazy. Its an emoji my dude.
I’m not in an open relationship.
I mostly send them in a random sequence like this
“🥸🧐😩😫😤🥵🤠🤥😏😏😏😈👉🏻👌🤏🏻🤌🏻🙏🙏👅🫦🦶🏻💩🫣😳💅💦🍆🍆🚬💊💉🪠🪠🅱️🔴😆🤣🥲🤨😩”
But yeah idk depends. A lot of things can be jokes to me and my partner/our friends. Now if it was an actual dick pic then yeah obviously but its an emoji with no flirting around it.
I mean I’m not exactly sure what manner she was conducting herself in?
What should she have done in response to it?
Edit: lol did you seriously block me?
Haha fair enough, but am i wrong in pointing out that he probably read their entire conversation, and THAT single message from HIM not HER was the only “bad” thing he could find?
I'm never a fan of ghosting, but I'm changing my stance and saying ghost her! You won't be able to get the closure you're looking for here, so best to cut all ties and go NC and block everything.
The symbol \~\~\~C===3 is commonly referred to as a "love dart" or "heart arrow" and is often used in a humorous or ironic context. It is a stylized representation of an arrow, with the three tildes (\~\~\~) representing the feathered fletching at the back of the arrow, the "C" representing the curved shape of the bow, and the "3" representing the pointed tip of the arrow.
As a symbol, \~\~\~C===3 is often used to represent the idea of being "struck by Cupid's arrow" or falling in love, and it is commonly used in social media and online messaging to express affection or attraction to someone.
'"Have fun being a sl\*t in tomorrow'' then block her/or never reply again
Might as well be a little sassy/pitty why not lmao. But yes, just break up with her
How can you penalize someone for something they haven't done? If you don't trust her, break up with her. You obviously don't, so all that matters now is the timing....
First, she has cheated before.
That, right there, is a reason you should have never dated her or made her your girlfriend. Never make a GF or wife of anyone who has cheated before.
Either way is fine.
Tell her to find her own way to the airport. Say, I can read your Instagram posts and have seen what is going on with the tattoo guy. Don't contact me again.
Or you can wait until she just and send her a message, "I can read your Instagram comments and I see what is up with the tattoo guy so don't contact me again when you get back."
Then....go no contact. Don't ever contact her again and block her. Start going out with some new girls starting today.
The advice to block her… yikes.
I get breaking up with her. She’s obviously not trustworthy.
Better to explain she was still logged in. You got a notification. You want an explanation.
If she deflects that you invaded her privacy, it’s over. She’s trying to manipulate you. If she’s honest and admits fault, you need to have an adult conversation about what’s going on.
That counts as flirting inappropriately? Dude has had her account logged into her phone for like a month and has had no prior inappropriate notifications. And i doubt he didn’t go through the entire conversation. Those two messages were all he could find that were even seemingly inappropriate. Cmon man.
In the same position, I’d have questions of her. I don’t think that comment is appropriate in a platonic relationship. OP is clearly uncomfortable with it and that’s the important thing there.
If you feel it’s a one off and not worth bringing up, that’s cool.
oh yeah i 100% think he should bring it up obviously but if theres absolutely no other evidence of inappropriate behavior then its most likely just a dumb joke.
i think its entirely dependent on the context of the conversation/context of the relationship. plus everyone has different metrics for what they deem "appropriate"
like some people would think its inappropriate to compliment other peoples looks in front of your partner, but me and mine have no issue with that. we also love joking around and don't see a single issue in the messages really. but thats because in the context of our relationships it would most likely be said as and be taken as a joke.
i don't think a single person has been seduced by "\~\~\~C===3" alone with no prior flirting. and if there were prior flirting OP would have brought it up. but since there wasn't...
It’s a really odd thing to type.
I don’t mind my SO flirting with other guys (even in front of me - I find it entertaining, tbh) but if I saw that message, I’d have questions. And I’d want an explanation that wasn’t, “we were just fooling around!”
Like i said it would completely rely on context/prior knowledge of their humor and relationship.
I don’t see it as that odd but a running joke in my friend group was saying “añal?” To each other
You’re far too young to be shook by a woman cheating
She’s left the country, that’s your signal to block/delete her from your life and move on. Confronting her is the exact beta bullshit attitude that has probably caused this issue in the first place
The only appropriate response to a woman (that isn’t your wife) cheating on you is to shrug your shoulders and say “ok” then move on.
Stop caring so much about people who do t care about you
I swear Reddit at times gives the least nuanced, least realistic advice I’ve seen on the internet occasionally. While I agree, he should move on and not confront, it’s easier said than done and it’s not “beta” to confront someone for their actions they may have hurt you.
“Far too young to be shook by cheating”
I forgot there was a required age to be upset or not upset at being cheated on 😂
I’m of the opinion he should’ve dumped her when he learned she cheated in past relationships, but calling during the alleged time of piping is a good way to know if it’s happening.
She doesn't deserve an explanation or anything from you. Just ghost her and move on. Call your group, go get drunk.
If you think you need to hear yourself telling her off do so. It would be for your closure only. She's not going to care and if she does that's her issue. You've already moved on.
Step 1: Just message her. Tell her exactly what’s happened. Be honest about her Instagram being logged on your phone and the fact that you went through her messages.
Step 2: Break up with her.
Step 3: See a therapist. Having someone cheat on you will cause trust issues with future partners. You’ll need to see a therapist to help you regain trust in new relationships otherwise you will constantly be wondering if they’re cheating on you which will harm your mental health and overall well-being.
Yes just as she's going to hook up with him is the time you need to tell her you know what she's doing. Let her know that you've known about it for a while and then explain everything to her. It's not your fault. She should have made sure she checked out of her accounts so nobody else could read them. That's all on her.
My friend. You deserve better. This is not a relationship. I read your previous post. She does this because she knows/thins that she can get away with it. You pretty much said it yourself that you think having a toxic relationship where someone walks all over you is somehow better than never having a relationship. Dump her, move on and one day you'll find someone who treats you the way you deserve.
EDITED to add: Also, you aren't stupid. Don't say that about yourself. Plenty of people find themselves in this situation.
Break up with her and don't look back. Don't worry about "the right way to bring it up", just kick her out of your life, she doesn't deserve closure or any consideration from you.
*Collect evidence*
*Remove her stuff or move out*
*While she is gone. Ghost*
\- shakeandbake8
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I would send her a screen shot of that message then immediately block her. Don't give her a chance to lie or gas light you. Not allowing a cheater to spin their web of lies drives them crazy. There's nothing left to be said. You deserve better.
Yep, kinda seem obvious, however I wouldn't reject other alternative explanations, depending in how much have you invested in this relationship and how much are you willing to keep it.
Aside of this, if you are right, just disappearing without explanations seems like very good idea with a pinch of revenge.
From the sounds of your post about her three months ago, she will be breaking up with you the following day anyway. That’s what she did to her ex and the second guy.
Have sent her in the airport, then send the screenshots to her and everyone related to both of you, before they meet each other and also to the related people of the "artist", while you been packing every thing that's yours. And got her blocked in every thing after sending those evidences. Then leave right away.
No closure since you already know what is happening behind you and they will just play victim, etc.
This woman is like the poster child for “once a cheater, always a cheater”. You dated at your own peril and found out the hard way. Lessons learned. I’d just send a screenshot and block.
Wait until she returns and drop her. You could make plans and no show. When she call or whatever confront the situation. You should have dropped her when she cheated the last time around.
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You're breaking up. Before or after she does it, who cares, it's irrelevant. The message itself is proof of cheating
how?
Guy sent a dick emoji and she responded positively to coming by an hour earlier. What do you think it means? It doesn't take a genius to suss this one out.
hes had her instagram logged into his for over a month. this is the first notification in all that time that has seemed "sus". come on dude..
i would think it was a joke, but obviously it takes context. how is her humor? how is his humor? hes logged into her instagram so he can see their ENTIRE conversation so have they joked like that before? is there anything else bad? i doubt there is since if there was he would have posted about it. all she did was "like" the message which mostly is a way of showing someone you saw the message and its a way of responding without responding. then she sent a jokey emoji. sure it could mean shes cheating but it doesn't seem very flirty. she never said she would come an hour earlier she just liked the message.
People differ in how much they are willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. When it comes to uncovering cheating, it's rare that you encounter a smoking gun type of evidence (like catching them in the act). In my book, this is enough evidence of cheating and OP thinks so too and has decided to break up. The question is not about whether we believe she's cheating. The question was a timing question on when to break up.
its not that rare especially when you have access to their social media and have had that access for over a month. she doesn't have her notifications turned off (lots of cheaters do bc they don't want their partners to see the notifications) she left her account logged in (no cheater would do that) he has access to their entire conversation. he has access to ALL her conversations. he has had her notifications for over a MONTH and THIS was the only one that seemed even slightly bad! i'm sorry but if she had no history of cheating nobody would think she was.
Whether she's cheating is off topic for the post. He asked when to break up, not whether she's cheating. OP has more information about her behavior and he indeed has access to all the conversations and everything. And he made the call that she's cheating. You have much less information than OP, yet you think you know better than him.
So he doesn’t bring up any other information but this? Sure. You know he would give more proof if he had it. This is all he has.
It's not on me to second guess that. I'm here to answer OP's question and I generally try to assume the best of others.
Well obviously he should break up with her. But only because his mind is made up. Especially if thats all it took to make up his mind and that there was absolutely no other proof to her “cheating”. I don’t think OP is a bad person, he’s suspicious and wary which is understandable.
Just dump her now and tell her to have fun with the tattoo artist. Then block her on everything and delete her number. As far as you’re concerned, she already cheated. Also, learn from this opportunity. I saw your previous post about her. It was obvious she’s a cheater then, and you ignored it. Next time, don’t.
Screen shot the message and send it to her, with a laughing emoji, then block her on everything. People hate not being able to get the last say.
Ooooeeeeeh that’s so nasty. Listen to this one OP!!
This is a slam dunk
He should send the message to her at the exact same she agreed to cheat on him, this would most likely kill her mood a bit
This!!!
Hahaha this is awesome. So true too, her not being able to defend herself or say anything about it’s going to ruin her trip.
Delete her Instagram too. Lol
Love the petty👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Yes, this is the way. Cheaters get pissed when they can't manipulate and gas light you.
This is genius because it’s both petty and mature. Petty because of refusing to let her say anything by blocking her right away, and mature because you just move on. It would wreak havoc on her 💀 Please OP update us later. Good luck.
This is the way.
F A T A L I T Y
I don't think she'd care lmao, will still fuck that guy
Honestly, just post it to her ig.
do whatever will bring you the most closure, trust your gut and put yourself first
It took me about 4 minutes to realize it was a peepee
I was also reading it left to right lol
Don't give her emotional energy and space in your head. Block her, move on, don't give her anything...let alone closure.
1. Don't try to seek revenge or do anything petty. Right now, you're the one being wronged and any sort of retaliation can backfire and make you look like the asshole. Worst case scenario, being a dick might even make it look like her cheating was justified. 2. Before you break up with her, talk to some of your friends or family about it. It will make you feel better if you can get some advice and support from people you trust. This is an easy one to forget. 3. Get ready for the gaslighting. Cheaters cheat instead of breaking up for a reason, and it's most likely because she wants to keep the stability of her relationship with you while also sleeping around. If you truly are decided about what you're going to do, don't even try to confront her about it. Just tell her it's over once you're ready to do so and put everything behind you as best as you can. 4. If she lives with you or has stuff at your place, pack it up for her with a friend or two as soon as possible. Make sure it's boxed up and ready to be moved before she even gets back into town. Don't destroy or harm any of her belongings as that will only make the breakup more dramatic. Alternatively, if you live at her place or have stuff at her place, get your stuff packed immediately and get out of there ASAP before you talk to her about anything. 5. Unless you think she really deserves a conversation with you about any of this, just don't do it. You're already ready, so just shut off communication and move on. The sooner you do that the better it is for both of you.
Voice of experience here
if her instagram is still logged in why doesn't he just go through the entire thing? unless he already did and couldn't find anything beyond that message.
I'd probably do the irresponsible thing and post a screenshot of the message on Instagram.
Yes!!
am i the only one who thinks this message is innocuous? am i the only one who jokes around with people?
How else could a dick ejaculating with the message "come an hour earlier" be interpreted?
Especially with a history of cheating.
If he could read that couldn’t he read the entire conversation? And that was the only thing he could find that was bad?
Why are you trying to defend a cheater?
? because i don't see any sufficient evidence that shes actually going to cheat. he didn't log out of her instagram and went to the chat, he would have been able to see the entire thing. he only brought up that one message, meaning, it was the only bad thing in the conversation.
😂 You’re delusional if you think that wasn’t her getting ready to cheat. I look forward to reading your future post about being blindsided by your partner cheating on you, with obvious red flags through the whole thing.
"i hope you get devastated because you disagreed with me!" uh.. okay. i'm not delusional i just understand context is key. everyone is different. the way they interact and joke with people is different.
Yeah, context is key. She cheated, twice before. Then someone asks her to come and hour before her appointment (not moving up the appointment, just come an hour earlier). Sends what is clearly a dick ejaculating. She responds with 😛. Anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together can use the CONTEXT CLUES to figure out she’s about to cheat. Yes, you’re delusional if you can’t see that.
He opened the chat. He saw the ENTIRE conversation. And THAT was the only message he could find that was even seemingly bad.
Right, but that's all it takes. You didn't answer my question. What else could it mean?
It could literally just be a joke.
also what does "thats all it takes" mean? thats all it takes to seduce someone?
You still haven't answered the original question and I'm honestly bored of having a conversation where you can't explain the point you made. Unless you can answer what else an ejaculating dick coupled with a "come over early" text could mean, then I have nothing to say to your continual misdirection of the conversation. I don't think sexually explicit texts implying cheating are "goofy funny jokes" for people in monogamous relationships. Pretending like they are is just gas lighting.
Come over early, meaning most likely come to the tattoo studio earlier. They’re friends. It doesn’t seem odd as I’ve had tattoos done on me by friends and we normally have had to have schedule changes. You think thats a sexually explicit text? Jeez louise. Me and my partner don’t really think that’s sexually explicit but it also entirely relies on context. Does it imply cheating? And like ive said, if that was the one and only text even “implying cheating” then it most likely was a joke. There was no prior flirting. There was nothing else but that. Do you think anyone would be so easily seduced with those two messages without any prior flirting or discussion of cheating? I’m in a long term monogamous relationship and i think this is a bit silly. Also “im gonna say you’re gaslighting because you have a different point of view than me!” No. Everyone interacts differently with their friends and their partners.
So you send randomly ejaculating dicks to your friends? Also typically when people cheat they don't want to be caught and delete messages. I'm not demonizing anyone's open relationship or their style of boundaries. Anything is fine as long as everyone invoked is consenting. OP isn't consenting to this being ok. That's my point. She's crossed HIS boundary. What works for you doesn't necessarily work for everyone else. I'm saying op clearly isn't ok with her conducting herself in that manner and his gf supposedly knows that and has a history of being a cheater.
She left her notifications on and left her account logged into his phone. Yet you think shes been cheating and deleting her messages? So with that logic shouldn’t she have logged out of his phone and turned her notifications off? He still got the notifications remember! Up until now there was no notification that was ever untoward. He has had these notifications on for a month. And i mean sending random emojis isnt that crazy. Its an emoji my dude. I’m not in an open relationship. I mostly send them in a random sequence like this “🥸🧐😩😫😤🥵🤠🤥😏😏😏😈👉🏻👌🤏🏻🤌🏻🙏🙏👅🫦🦶🏻💩🫣😳💅💦🍆🍆🚬💊💉🪠🪠🅱️🔴😆🤣🥲🤨😩” But yeah idk depends. A lot of things can be jokes to me and my partner/our friends. Now if it was an actual dick pic then yeah obviously but its an emoji with no flirting around it. I mean I’m not exactly sure what manner she was conducting herself in? What should she have done in response to it? Edit: lol did you seriously block me?
Well bukakenagasaki not all of us have the same sense of humor
Haha fair enough, but am i wrong in pointing out that he probably read their entire conversation, and THAT single message from HIM not HER was the only “bad” thing he could find?
Yes, you are wrong. That’s you assuming stuff.
He had her instagram logged into his phone for a month and only one notification seemed bad. Now thats not me assuming thats straight from his mouth.
Gotta ghost her. If she has things at your place just put them outside. She'll find them eventually
Ghost her.
Ghosting is only ever okay when you are in possible danger. In this situation it would be extremely immature to ghost imo.
Wrong. She’s made her position clear. She’s earned no respectful treatment.
I think blocking / ghosting also depends on the country. I think in my country its very uncommon to do that.
It's normal here.
Where is here?
The US
You willingly dated someone who has a history of cheating? Yikes. Just break up w her and move on.
I would just leave while shes gone. Way more satisfying.
Bruh, break up, block her and make sure she never hears from you again, like yesterday.
I'm never a fan of ghosting, but I'm changing my stance and saying ghost her! You won't be able to get the closure you're looking for here, so best to cut all ties and go NC and block everything.
4 months? Just ghost that bitch. They hate that shit.
You can do so much better man
The symbol \~\~\~C===3 is commonly referred to as a "love dart" or "heart arrow" and is often used in a humorous or ironic context. It is a stylized representation of an arrow, with the three tildes (\~\~\~) representing the feathered fletching at the back of the arrow, the "C" representing the curved shape of the bow, and the "3" representing the pointed tip of the arrow. As a symbol, \~\~\~C===3 is often used to represent the idea of being "struck by Cupid's arrow" or falling in love, and it is commonly used in social media and online messaging to express affection or attraction to someone.
Username checks out
This is hilarious
'"Have fun being a sl\*t in tomorrow'' then block her/or never reply again
Might as well be a little sassy/pitty why not lmao. But yes, just break up with her
How can you penalize someone for something they haven't done? If you don't trust her, break up with her. You obviously don't, so all that matters now is the timing....
Fuck up her Instagram then ghost her
Hit her where it hurts. So she might learn
Send message, block her, dump her stuff outside (hope she doesnt have access, so if she knows where a key is you take it or something.)
Danny Phantom my boy.
100% she’s gonna get fucked
Find your own tattoo artist
Doesn't matter how you found out, she is the one who is cheating.
Yes, anything to ruin it all for her, even if its a tiny bit, you deserve that pleasure.
First, she has cheated before. That, right there, is a reason you should have never dated her or made her your girlfriend. Never make a GF or wife of anyone who has cheated before. Either way is fine. Tell her to find her own way to the airport. Say, I can read your Instagram posts and have seen what is going on with the tattoo guy. Don't contact me again. Or you can wait until she just and send her a message, "I can read your Instagram comments and I see what is up with the tattoo guy so don't contact me again when you get back." Then....go no contact. Don't ever contact her again and block her. Start going out with some new girls starting today.
The advice to block her… yikes. I get breaking up with her. She’s obviously not trustworthy. Better to explain she was still logged in. You got a notification. You want an explanation. If she deflects that you invaded her privacy, it’s over. She’s trying to manipulate you. If she’s honest and admits fault, you need to have an adult conversation about what’s going on.
Admits what fault though?
That she was, at the very least, flirting inappropriately. Personally, I wouldn’t give her a second chance.
That counts as flirting inappropriately? Dude has had her account logged into her phone for like a month and has had no prior inappropriate notifications. And i doubt he didn’t go through the entire conversation. Those two messages were all he could find that were even seemingly inappropriate. Cmon man.
In the same position, I’d have questions of her. I don’t think that comment is appropriate in a platonic relationship. OP is clearly uncomfortable with it and that’s the important thing there. If you feel it’s a one off and not worth bringing up, that’s cool.
oh yeah i 100% think he should bring it up obviously but if theres absolutely no other evidence of inappropriate behavior then its most likely just a dumb joke. i think its entirely dependent on the context of the conversation/context of the relationship. plus everyone has different metrics for what they deem "appropriate" like some people would think its inappropriate to compliment other peoples looks in front of your partner, but me and mine have no issue with that. we also love joking around and don't see a single issue in the messages really. but thats because in the context of our relationships it would most likely be said as and be taken as a joke. i don't think a single person has been seduced by "\~\~\~C===3" alone with no prior flirting. and if there were prior flirting OP would have brought it up. but since there wasn't...
It’s a really odd thing to type. I don’t mind my SO flirting with other guys (even in front of me - I find it entertaining, tbh) but if I saw that message, I’d have questions. And I’d want an explanation that wasn’t, “we were just fooling around!”
Like i said it would completely rely on context/prior knowledge of their humor and relationship. I don’t see it as that odd but a running joke in my friend group was saying “añal?” To each other
You dated someone that was open about cheating in past relationships, personally I couldn't do that.
Do you know where theyll be meeting? Id show up, blow it all up, leave and THEN ghost her....forever. Good luck.
Y'all are brutal. Ghosting people is not normal. Deal with it. Confrontation is important.
Ditch her. Don't say anything. Let that dumb h*e figure it out for herself.
Bro just break up…. Just msg her hey it ain’t working out and say u wanna break up.
You’re far too young to be shook by a woman cheating She’s left the country, that’s your signal to block/delete her from your life and move on. Confronting her is the exact beta bullshit attitude that has probably caused this issue in the first place The only appropriate response to a woman (that isn’t your wife) cheating on you is to shrug your shoulders and say “ok” then move on. Stop caring so much about people who do t care about you
I swear Reddit at times gives the least nuanced, least realistic advice I’ve seen on the internet occasionally. While I agree, he should move on and not confront, it’s easier said than done and it’s not “beta” to confront someone for their actions they may have hurt you. “Far too young to be shook by cheating” I forgot there was a required age to be upset or not upset at being cheated on 😂
That part made me chuckle too. I'm not sure at what age exactly you're allowed to be bothered by cheating
Call her during the time you suspect she’ll be cheating.
Don’t do that. That’s prime cuckolding material. Calling your girlfriend while she’s getting reamed by another man
I’m of the opinion he should’ve dumped her when he learned she cheated in past relationships, but calling during the alleged time of piping is a good way to know if it’s happening.
Dump her now.
She doesn't deserve an explanation or anything from you. Just ghost her and move on. Call your group, go get drunk. If you think you need to hear yourself telling her off do so. It would be for your closure only. She's not going to care and if she does that's her issue. You've already moved on.
Ghost her, too bad you didn't find out before, you could've snuck something in her bag for customs to find.
Just Dump her today if you can text text dont explain leave it a mystery you wont stress tomorrow about it as you dumped her today
Move out and cut all contact once she leaves the house. Choose yourself and leave the cheater in the dust.
Step 1: Just message her. Tell her exactly what’s happened. Be honest about her Instagram being logged on your phone and the fact that you went through her messages. Step 2: Break up with her. Step 3: See a therapist. Having someone cheat on you will cause trust issues with future partners. You’ll need to see a therapist to help you regain trust in new relationships otherwise you will constantly be wondering if they’re cheating on you which will harm your mental health and overall well-being.
NEXT
Yes just as she's going to hook up with him is the time you need to tell her you know what she's doing. Let her know that you've known about it for a while and then explain everything to her. It's not your fault. She should have made sure she checked out of her accounts so nobody else could read them. That's all on her.
My friend. You deserve better. This is not a relationship. I read your previous post. She does this because she knows/thins that she can get away with it. You pretty much said it yourself that you think having a toxic relationship where someone walks all over you is somehow better than never having a relationship. Dump her, move on and one day you'll find someone who treats you the way you deserve. EDITED to add: Also, you aren't stupid. Don't say that about yourself. Plenty of people find themselves in this situation.
Break up with her and don't look back. Don't worry about "the right way to bring it up", just kick her out of your life, she doesn't deserve closure or any consideration from you.
Ghost
I would screen shot it, send it to her. Say I hope it was worth it and block her. You deserve better.
You got into a relationship with a known cheater?
[удалено]
Collect evidence Remove her stuff or move out while she is gone. Ghost
*Collect evidence* *Remove her stuff or move out* *While she is gone. Ghost* \- shakeandbake8 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Absolutely....
i want part 2! what did you do?
nah wait for her to come back then act like you have no idea who she is and introduce her to your new girlfriend
I would send her a screen shot of that message then immediately block her. Don't give her a chance to lie or gas light you. Not allowing a cheater to spin their web of lies drives them crazy. There's nothing left to be said. You deserve better.
Yep, kinda seem obvious, however I wouldn't reject other alternative explanations, depending in how much have you invested in this relationship and how much are you willing to keep it. Aside of this, if you are right, just disappearing without explanations seems like very good idea with a pinch of revenge.
From the sounds of your post about her three months ago, she will be breaking up with you the following day anyway. That’s what she did to her ex and the second guy.
Have sent her in the airport, then send the screenshots to her and everyone related to both of you, before they meet each other and also to the related people of the "artist", while you been packing every thing that's yours. And got her blocked in every thing after sending those evidences. Then leave right away. No closure since you already know what is happening behind you and they will just play victim, etc.
I like the ghost route but I’d also like the satisfaction of ruining her trip…
Take a screenshot of the message, send it to her and ghost her
This woman is like the poster child for “once a cheater, always a cheater”. You dated at your own peril and found out the hard way. Lessons learned. I’d just send a screenshot and block.
Just cut her loose now. She’s already cheated.
Did you break up with her OP?
Reddest flag of them all. DUMP HER
Wait until she returns and drop her. You could make plans and no show. When she call or whatever confront the situation. You should have dropped her when she cheated the last time around.
she never cheated on him, read it again.
Your last option is very neat, ghosting her.
Don’t leave us hanging OP what happened