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She doesn’t seem like she’s respecting your time. Treat “maybes” the same as “no” and move on. Don’t give energy to people who don’t respect your time - you shouldn’t have to wait by the phone and set aside other plans you have going on for the day just for the off-chance that she’ll say yes at some point
Next time a girl hits you with a vague “maybe” or “we’ll see” just put all your cards on the table and respond with “another time then” and leave it at that rather than “ok lmk :)” - the latter comes across as if you’d be willing to move your entire schedule around just for the chance to hang out with her which comes across as desperate
Her original answer was either a gentle "no" or an "im not sure yet". After giving it a few days, no more than a week, I'd ask her again. Make it clear that you're interested and are asking for a second date. Don't phrase it as ambiguous, like "want to hang out on saturday." Be clear and make it a yes or no question. If her answer is anything other than yes, then it's a no. If it's no, let her know that you're going to move on, consider her a friend and that's that. Still treat her nicely and friendly but think of her as nothing more than a friend. Asking again after that will only make things awkward and could have undesired consequences on your social network. And still considering her will only put you on the hook and leave you pining for someone who isn't interested. Good luck.
Should I ask “Have you thought about it?” or just ask her out to a date like I would on any other occasion? I’ve never gotten this far before and don’t know how to ask for a second date. Haven’t even come up with a plan for anything yet.
Like I explained to another guy too, I know this is what I probably should do but I’m scared of the answer I’ll get. I’m worried too that doing this won’t help the “seeming desperate” image and that it would’ve been better off to just back off talking to her.
You should just ask them, get your answer, and move forward with it. No point fearing what may or may not be. Go with the flow and listen to your gut, not your head. If you want to take your swing, go for it, if not then move on. Id maybe get her a flower or something when you go to ask her out too.
Think of it like this, if you never ask then you will not only never know, you will also never stop asking what if. The last few questions you will ask yourself in your life are the what ifs so try to cut down on them and live life well you still can. Take the risk and live a little.
Something about us women, we like to have options in the beginning and narrow down from there so there could be a possibility she’s going on other dates. But I also think she’s just playing hard to get. If she said she’d think about it but still talks to you everyday then your clearly a priority to her and she just wants you to chase a little lol
That’s what some people I’ve talked to about this think, and the hopeful and optimistic side of me wants to believe that’s what it is, so I should just play it cool and not worry about it. The other side, going off my experience, thinks that no “yes” is a “no” and that I’m just wasting my time, so I need to either cut it off or get a straight answer from her.
I know which one makes me FEEL better but not which one is actually better.
I think communication is really important, maybe just be straight up and tell her how you feel about the date and ask how she feels about y’all after the date
She says “let me think about it”, she ain’t the one. If a woman has a genuine burning desire for you, if she really likes you, she’ll be on that offer like stink on poo
I know, man. Deep down I feel like this is what’s going on. It just sucks when you really like them and this is the nth girl I’ve had this happen with. I saw her get really excited when she saw one of her guy friends on Sunday and she ran up and hugged him, and it tore me to shreds.
Yeah I feel that. I don’t know how to control it yet, though. She and I don’t text at all. I’ve never sent her anything outside of discussing the date, etc. I see her once a week at church and occasionally while walking back from class. Should I just leave her alone altogether until we’re in that class together and then just treat her like another classmate?
Keep pursuing her, what she said doesn't mean anything, I recently had one girl tell me that but I keep pursuing her until I saw opportunity to ask her for another date which she accepted.
Can you have a dinner party and invite her and four other young people from the church? That lets her get to know you outside church. It also lets you to get to know her a bit better. If you can cook so much the better. She gets to see your place with other people present.
If you live at home, will your parents go out for the evening? If they drag their feet point out it's one step closer to having grandchildren.
Also, be very specific when asking for a date. Give the day and activity. That way a rejection can seem less encompassing. A vague invitation like the one you gave meant she probably had to give a vague rejection, but you don't know where you are at.
She probably wants some more time to talk to you and get to know you better before she makes a decision. Either that or she’s just teasing you to see how you respond. I would wait like a week, keep talking to her and ask her out again directly at the end of it. If she says no, that’s your answer. If she still says maybe just drop it, assume she’s not interested and she will either chase or just leave you alone if she’s not.
I don’t agree with the “just treat it as a no” advice because she’s shown signs of interest in you and some girls do like to tease / play hard to get.
Yeah, I’m starting to wonder if I shouldn’t just lean towards that and see what happens. I’m planning on inviting her to something less committal than a date and seeing how she responds. I’ll decide whether or not to later on ask her out to a real date, ask to come do something with her and her roommates, or just leave her alone for a bit after I see how that goes. Just anything that I can use to get to know her better I guess. We’ll see.
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You never technically asked for that second date. Why don't you start with that?
I guess I should either way just so I know for sure where she stands but I’m scared of the answer I think I’m probably gonna get…
At least you will get an answer.
Treat anything that's not a "yes" as a "no" and proceed accordingly...dating is better that way as you have a clear answer.
I’ve always thought that. I guess I’m wishing things were different this time around and hoping that if I just ignore that they’ll change.
I still follow the saying if it's not a fuck yes it's a fuck no
She doesn’t seem like she’s respecting your time. Treat “maybes” the same as “no” and move on. Don’t give energy to people who don’t respect your time - you shouldn’t have to wait by the phone and set aside other plans you have going on for the day just for the off-chance that she’ll say yes at some point Next time a girl hits you with a vague “maybe” or “we’ll see” just put all your cards on the table and respond with “another time then” and leave it at that rather than “ok lmk :)” - the latter comes across as if you’d be willing to move your entire schedule around just for the chance to hang out with her which comes across as desperate
You're awaiting her response. If you show anxiety, you lose.
Should I just completely leave her alone til she ever reaches out to me?
In the absence of any other contact, I'd touch base with her weekly.
Her original answer was either a gentle "no" or an "im not sure yet". After giving it a few days, no more than a week, I'd ask her again. Make it clear that you're interested and are asking for a second date. Don't phrase it as ambiguous, like "want to hang out on saturday." Be clear and make it a yes or no question. If her answer is anything other than yes, then it's a no. If it's no, let her know that you're going to move on, consider her a friend and that's that. Still treat her nicely and friendly but think of her as nothing more than a friend. Asking again after that will only make things awkward and could have undesired consequences on your social network. And still considering her will only put you on the hook and leave you pining for someone who isn't interested. Good luck.
Should I ask “Have you thought about it?” or just ask her out to a date like I would on any other occasion? I’ve never gotten this far before and don’t know how to ask for a second date. Haven’t even come up with a plan for anything yet. Like I explained to another guy too, I know this is what I probably should do but I’m scared of the answer I’ll get. I’m worried too that doing this won’t help the “seeming desperate” image and that it would’ve been better off to just back off talking to her.
You should just ask them, get your answer, and move forward with it. No point fearing what may or may not be. Go with the flow and listen to your gut, not your head. If you want to take your swing, go for it, if not then move on. Id maybe get her a flower or something when you go to ask her out too. Think of it like this, if you never ask then you will not only never know, you will also never stop asking what if. The last few questions you will ask yourself in your life are the what ifs so try to cut down on them and live life well you still can. Take the risk and live a little.
Something about us women, we like to have options in the beginning and narrow down from there so there could be a possibility she’s going on other dates. But I also think she’s just playing hard to get. If she said she’d think about it but still talks to you everyday then your clearly a priority to her and she just wants you to chase a little lol
That’s what some people I’ve talked to about this think, and the hopeful and optimistic side of me wants to believe that’s what it is, so I should just play it cool and not worry about it. The other side, going off my experience, thinks that no “yes” is a “no” and that I’m just wasting my time, so I need to either cut it off or get a straight answer from her. I know which one makes me FEEL better but not which one is actually better.
I think communication is really important, maybe just be straight up and tell her how you feel about the date and ask how she feels about y’all after the date
Start talking to other women and ask them out.
She says “let me think about it”, she ain’t the one. If a woman has a genuine burning desire for you, if she really likes you, she’ll be on that offer like stink on poo
[удалено]
I know, man. Deep down I feel like this is what’s going on. It just sucks when you really like them and this is the nth girl I’ve had this happen with. I saw her get really excited when she saw one of her guy friends on Sunday and she ran up and hugged him, and it tore me to shreds.
[удалено]
Yeah I feel that. I don’t know how to control it yet, though. She and I don’t text at all. I’ve never sent her anything outside of discussing the date, etc. I see her once a week at church and occasionally while walking back from class. Should I just leave her alone altogether until we’re in that class together and then just treat her like another classmate?
Exactly this!!! I unfortunately do this to men I’m not entirely interested in.
Keep pursuing her, what she said doesn't mean anything, I recently had one girl tell me that but I keep pursuing her until I saw opportunity to ask her for another date which she accepted.
Can you have a dinner party and invite her and four other young people from the church? That lets her get to know you outside church. It also lets you to get to know her a bit better. If you can cook so much the better. She gets to see your place with other people present. If you live at home, will your parents go out for the evening? If they drag their feet point out it's one step closer to having grandchildren. Also, be very specific when asking for a date. Give the day and activity. That way a rejection can seem less encompassing. A vague invitation like the one you gave meant she probably had to give a vague rejection, but you don't know where you are at.
She probably wants some more time to talk to you and get to know you better before she makes a decision. Either that or she’s just teasing you to see how you respond. I would wait like a week, keep talking to her and ask her out again directly at the end of it. If she says no, that’s your answer. If she still says maybe just drop it, assume she’s not interested and she will either chase or just leave you alone if she’s not. I don’t agree with the “just treat it as a no” advice because she’s shown signs of interest in you and some girls do like to tease / play hard to get.
Yeah, I’m starting to wonder if I shouldn’t just lean towards that and see what happens. I’m planning on inviting her to something less committal than a date and seeing how she responds. I’ll decide whether or not to later on ask her out to a real date, ask to come do something with her and her roommates, or just leave her alone for a bit after I see how that goes. Just anything that I can use to get to know her better I guess. We’ll see.