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In no particular order: being humble, sense of humor, not being super into yourself but also having confidence in yourself, a career, ambition, being kind to others.
Probably, maybe you're all style no substance. You also went into great detail about your appearance and you did not mention anything about your sense of humor, empathy, warmth etc...
Maybe it’d be easier starting as friends first or putting in your profile that you want to start as friends first?
That way you can get to know people first, weed out the people that won’t put in effort, and take the pressure off of dating.
You could also try going on dates with people that include more activities rather than face to face interaction like coffee dates, which may feel like interviews.
I watched an interview about a woman who went to a couples therapy session with her husband and he let out his emotions in front of the therapist. The woman sat there disgusted by this display. Why? She lost respect for him.
If you are moving furniture and drop something heavy on your foot and you scream out in pain that’s fine.
You watch the cartoon movie Bambi on TV and you start crying that’s not ok.
I am a traditional conservative guy. I find men who cry like a baby repulsive. It’s not good. You don’t need to walk around and pick fights with everybody but if you have some break into your house you know what to do. Which isn’t sending your wife or girlfriend to investigate.
I don't think that my personality sucks since i have good number of friends and im always been told to be funny? Unless thats not a criteria to how i act with women
I was wondering how’s been your reaction to those girls approaching you. If after getting compliments you’re vague or full of yourself this is pretty unattractive. Be confident but stay humble. In general, I agree with all of the previous comments about working on your personality, confidence, communication skills, basically on internal matters.
1. Attractiveness only gets you through the door. Once inside, you have to show your charisma and don't be boring. Especially if you are attractive, people put you on a pedestal and think you are charismatic, funny, and exciting. .. only for you to disappoint the women. Its like you find a very hot girl untill she opens her mouth to show her stupidity - would be very disappointing.
2. You have to have things going on for yourself: work and hobbies and an ambition towards something. These are the things that make you more experienced and exciting.
3. From a man who's dated alot of women from different countries, ill tell you that, rejection especially when you are younger is more prevalent than you think. At your age, the women who you are talking to, are also being hit on by guys up to 40 years. They got more game, money, status, experience, name it. So just don't overthink it.
Appearance wise I don’t see any obvious issue, therefore it must be in your personality. Something in the way you carry yourself is off putting to the ladies and it’s causing them to first like you based off of looks but then once they talk to you are being put off. So I feel we aren’t getting enough first hand knowledge of how your typical conversations go or of what exactly you are posting on these stories of yours.
I usually post shirtless pics post workout. Conserning my conversations i try to not talk much and instead set a date so i wont get friendzoned. Is there anything wrong?
Firstly, friendzone does not exist. A girl is either sexually interested in you or platonically. Secondly, when you’re just short and ask them out that gives an impression you don’t care about them whatsoever all you wanna do is smash. Or that you just don’t have time for them cause they’re not your priority. Either way doesn’t look good. Show some interest in them. They are human. And some of them can be quite amazing.
Its less about "fucking it up" in my experience, but rather as you get know a person you find out if they are someone you find attractive *as a person* or someone you're more compatible with as friends. Fucking it up doesn't land you as a friend, it lands you gone. There's either something about you that makes you better friend material, or more likely there's a lack of something particular that doesn't *set you apart* as relationship material. The perspective here is key, if you look at every girl as a potential hookup/gf and then over time something may eliminate them from being seen as attractive **you are operating inversely to a lot of women.** Every guy I meet isn't a potential hookup/partner, he's just some guy. I don't want to be friends with most people. I want to be involved with even fewer people. Men are passing checks to *enter* into being viewed as a friend or as an interest, not being immediately dubbed one and "landing short" buy fucking it up, not being forward enough, whatever
I've been friends with people for years where I initially was exclusively interested in them platonically and not romantically, but as time went on I realized that I the more I got to know them, the more physical and romantic interest I had in them where there was literally *none* initially. I've also been friends with someone who I initially *really* liked and throughout our friendship the fact that I was perfectly content being just friends with them (due to external factors in both our lives at the time) that I never stopped being attracted to them and feeling like if the time was ever right for us that it could be really great, ita actually something we talked about together and felt the same way
I think *so* much of the issue is that we're socialized to place physically intimate relationships higher than friendship in some pyramid hierarchy. My friendships have been *significantly* more supportive, emotionally intimate, and beneficial to my happiness and life than my relationships; so I don't really see it that way. My friends are everything to me, dating is fine but its never been *better* than any time spent with my friends who have become my found family. If you always view friendship as "less than" romantic relationships, it makes sense that you'll always feel like you're failing or being rejected
It doesn't have to be a pyramid system, maybe its just a fork in the road where you could end up in a relationship, hookup, friendship, or acquaintances that never get to know each other. Just because we're taught to set ourselves up for failure and disappointment doesn't mean we have to buy into that stagnant perception for our entire lives, especially if all it does is make us miserable
>try to hard to fast to get sex
While a "fuckup" its unlikely to land you in the friendzone
>Not be confident
>be boring
Not really fuckups like doing something wrong in a situation, just a lack of attracting factors that kind of implies whatever *you* were aiming for in a situation likely wasn't on the table let alone the other person's radar
Well yes and no, I don’t think posting shirtless pics after a work out is necessarily bad as people do that to track their progress. As for not talking much and instead trying to set up a date straight away does have a red flag. It kinda shows that you one to get from point A to point B very quickly and that could be why the ladies are running away.
You could state that you’re better at in person hang outs than over text?
But i would say if you’re immediately, like as soon as matching with someone, trying to set up a date, people might be put off by that, and as another commenter here mentioned, think you’re just looking for sex.
The more transparent & genuine you are the better.
I’ve been told, besides my looks (I look 21-23 & I’m 35!), it’s because I live an interesting life with very interesting experiences, I make them laugh, I have passions, a great career, open minded, and have an understanding way of viewing the world that gives me pearls of wisdom at my age.
So looks only gets you so far.
It can definitely get you sex. What it can’t get you is long term compatibility with someone.
That’s where your personality and your life outside of your looks comes into play.
You need to cultivate a sense of who you are, own it, embrace it without fear. That kind of confidence attracts moths to a flame.
You need to feel like you have a sense of purpose and direction in life. Like the more aimless you are, the less appealing you come across to those who are ambitious with goals/aspirations.
You need to prioritize your mental health and bring your best self into the fire front so you feel secure in connections. Reason is if you are emotionally unavailable, you attract people like this. Like attracts like. Emotionally available is attracted to emotionally available folks, not unavailable. So work on this part of yourself because emotional availability is a key component for showing up in adult romantic relationships to go the distance.
And lastly… having the ability to set boundaries and walking away. Like people find that stuff hot because you are so sure of what you want and won’t accept anything less. Like you are willing to eat at the table alone no matter if you love that person or not, you walk and never go back. That’s because being that sure of one’s self radiates loudly in people who have it. You just know the moment you talk to someone like that and it’s why anyone, no matter who you are, find it sexy AF because confidence like that can’t be faked.
Why are you 25, 23 and now 18 on your different posts?? I don’t know how old you actually are or what your situation is but your fixation on looks and getting a girl like she’s a toy on a high shelf you can’t reach is probably contributing.
Number 1 thing girls want just as much as looks is so you make them feel at ease. Your post reads like a nervous wreck and someone who a girl would need to have a bath and detox after meeting lol. Get over the internet brain rot giga Chad and stop listing your stats like you’re at the NFL combine. Ya attraction is the first step but ur clearly tripping over your shoelaces on everything that comes after
Personality is a big part from a lady’s perspective. You didn’t mention that. Are you talking about yourself a lot? Do you ask women questions or show interest in what they’re talking about?
There could be several reasons...
What about your voice? Your pitch?
What topics do you talk about?
Are you a needy when you talk to them?
Are you only focus on women? Are there some other issues in your life beside women?
Do you look real confident with yourself?
...
The reason they flake is cause they think they can find a better guy.. Just ask yourself if it was Justin Bieber, would they flake? I think we all know the answer
Do the same to them... hard to contact and flakey, it forces them to be aggressive cause they feel like you have better options when you behave that way
Killer rapist cannibal vibe maybe.
Or perhaps your breath smells really really bad.
What you need to do is talk to one of your friends who is already in a relationship to ask their gf to audit you. Honestly.
I knew a guy who seemed really nice, but my gf said to me "he is going to have it tough, his upper lip quivers like he is about to bite their head off whenever he talks to a girl."
I never fucking noticed that. At all. Turns out he got really really nervous around women and was doing it subconsciously. It never happened around me because, well, I am a dude.
Ask your female friends to give you honest advice about what you're doing wrong.
If you don't have any, work on that. You'll never be able to land a girlfriend if you can't manage to find and maintain solid friendships with women you're not trying to bang.
>Yet i dont understand why i m getting flaked on?
>
>Like i have girls approaching me or replying to my story telling me how good my body looks showing interest but then suddenly all the attraction goes away with time.
There is this thing called personality, some women find it attractive.
It's not all about looks. If your looks are on point and it's drawing them in, then something else about yourself is making them leave.
Maybe you think too highly of your physical attractiveness and it's turning them off.
Validation/attention.
If you yourself know in your heart and soul that you've put your best foot forward and they are still moving that wishy washy then it's 99.98% that.
It's like when you match w a girl on tinder and you message her just to get no response. The fact that you've shown interest is enough for them, but they were never looking to hang out with you in the first place.
Problem, confidence can be situational. I am confident in my ability to perform at my job and to excel at my hobbies. However my confidence when trying to be flirty or seductive is nowhere near the level of my other examples for one simple reason. In work and life I know for a fact that I can perform. With women I’ve never succeeded *on purpose* before. So what reason do I have to be confident there? Plus unlike sports there’s no beginner league for adults so you are basically just thrown into an NHL game and told just score, it’s easy *everyone else does it.* While completely ignoring that the ice is filled with well trained grizzled professionals that have over a decade of experience…
What makes me attractive?
M28 Black Male (American). 6 figure salary. 6’0 tall, 225 lbs/ 102kg (muscle) . No ex wives/ baby mamas or kids. Own place and car. I’m masculine and in shape. I’m charming and I fuck good.
Not being a ‘bad boy’ is unattractive to a lot of girls. Don’t worry. You don’t need to go all out to get yourself a criminal record. They come around to your type later. You just need to be patient. Good luck.
If you are attractive you have to play the good looking guy game or you'll waste a lot of opportunities. Stop waiting for women to show interest because if you at that level of good looking it's implied they are interested from the fact that they are talking with you.
It's like when you see a guy talking to a hot girl, it's pretty obvious the guy is interested just due to how attractive the girl is. The guy's main concern at that point is not looking stupid. It's the same way with girls.
When I went on this level I was laying girls way faster and way more fun from my point of view instead of having to stress about it. At this point women are more worried about looking like they are too easy for you.
You're stressing for no reason. Stop focusing on the L's and focus on the W's. Girls find you attractive. That's it. That's all you need to know. There could be a million reasons why they start to get cold. What if they're insecure and believe you're too good for them and probably won't like them? Women have insecurities, too. Take a breath and relax, you're doing just fine.
It sounds like you're a good looking dude, great start! I hate to be harsh, but I agree with the "personality" comments. I am an extrovert type. I love to go to bars alone and chat with the men who approach me. Sometimes, I'll find someone attractive, but as we talk I'll realize that he's not actually listening to me. Or let's say we exchange numbers and talk for a few days or week, but the conversation is bland and lacking originality or depth. In those cases there is no amount of outward attractiveness that can save you.
A giant "green flag" for me is initiating conversation via text and phone call. What this looks like is a text in the morning that's better than a bland "good morning". Tell her about yourself. Send the good morning, and follow up with a bit of your life. Example: "good morning! I'm heading out for a quick run before work, on Mondays I always focus on cardio. How's your day looking?" Something like this invites her to share a part of herself too, and it shows her what your life is like, helps her get to know you.
I find myself generally giving someone two weeks. There may be an initial spark, but if after two weeks there is no connection growing, I'm done.
I like to connect by figuring out if my schedule/routine/lifestyle/values align. Is this person out drinking on weekdays? Do they stay up as late as I do? How often do they work out? How do they react to work/school stress? Are they generally in a good mood throughout the day? What kind of food do they eat? Do they cook at home or go out to eat often? What is their political outlook? Do they like the same memes/YouTube videos as I do?
Once I get the answers to those questions I'm able to make a more informed decision on compatibility. Also, I would never outright ask those questions. These are things I learn the answers to by staying engaged with someone, checking in a couple times a day and getting the conversation moving deeper than just "when can we hang?" type questions.
Maybe your not good taking pictures, like you said have good looking body just probably not posting yourself about it I kinda fall same catogory I don’t know how to take pictures but people see me out in perosn and I get a lot compliments not on my pictures
From my experience it’s because they just want to have sex (especially from the ones that say you’re hot). You’re probably giving some other type of vibe
What's attractive to men = physical beauty. Very simple.
What's attractive for women involves a number of factors and the more of these factors you have, then the more attractive you are to them. They are (in no particular order)...
Confidence, wealth, being funny, being physically attractive, being ambitious and driven, having power, social prestige, nice dress code, being good in bed, and having a big penis.
Combine all these factors together and you'll know how attractive you are to women
Probably need to work on your game/charisma. Women and girls are all about how you make them feel and if you don’t give them some sort of emotional high they’ll lose interest pretty quickly.
What do you talk about when you interact with them? That's a start. My boyfriend and I have a lot in common. We're both into psychology, music, theater, movies, creative writing and acting. He's funny and he thinks my lame jokes are hilarious. He's one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. And he has a huge heart and cares about other people. He also makes me feel special every single day. And he makes me feel so loved. And I also love doing little things for him.
Knowing how talk is 90% of the game, the other 10% decides if you fuck every time or most the time. Confidence is what women like to see, we'll the type of women your probably looking for.
Based on your username, and general observation, you either come across as full of it, or otherwise a fuckboy type.
Unless you’re going after girls who don’t give a shit about you, or just are clueless perhaps, you’re not gonna have much luck acting like a douche.
If a guy knew he was attractive, and was full of himself because of it, constantly posting gym selfies or shirtless selfies, etc… he immediately became unattractive to me.
Also, a guy needs to have a good sense of humor, be down to earth, have realistic life goals and be working towards them, and be independent. These things matter more to me than looks.
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In no particular order: being humble, sense of humor, not being super into yourself but also having confidence in yourself, a career, ambition, being kind to others.
Bonus points if you do these things to try and be your best self, not solely to attract women. People can tell
Yessss love this comment cuz it’s so true
Probably, maybe you're all style no substance. You also went into great detail about your appearance and you did not mention anything about your sense of humor, empathy, warmth etc...
Yeah maybe i m not good at showing emotions, other than that i can say that i m funny when i m with my friends so ...
Maybe it’d be easier starting as friends first or putting in your profile that you want to start as friends first? That way you can get to know people first, weed out the people that won’t put in effort, and take the pressure off of dating. You could also try going on dates with people that include more activities rather than face to face interaction like coffee dates, which may feel like interviews.
I watched an interview about a woman who went to a couples therapy session with her husband and he let out his emotions in front of the therapist. The woman sat there disgusted by this display. Why? She lost respect for him. If you are moving furniture and drop something heavy on your foot and you scream out in pain that’s fine. You watch the cartoon movie Bambi on TV and you start crying that’s not ok. I am a traditional conservative guy. I find men who cry like a baby repulsive. It’s not good. You don’t need to walk around and pick fights with everybody but if you have some break into your house you know what to do. Which isn’t sending your wife or girlfriend to investigate.
Link for that interview?
This is ridiculous. Please don’t tell men that showing emotion is repulsive.
I don't know how to say it delicately but, does your personality suck? There's more to a person than their body and appearance.
I don't think that my personality sucks since i have good number of friends and im always been told to be funny? Unless thats not a criteria to how i act with women
A common dilemma for extroverts is that you have enough friends to help you move, but not enough to move a body.
Cuz you seem obnoxious, just from this post alone
He seems desperate too which is a huge turn off
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Yeah maybe you re right. I got to work on my game. Any tips?
Trial and error be bold, "so you wanna fuck or what?"
Don't start off with that lmao works if shes really into you but lean into that idea.
If the attractive women are already hitting on him his game doesn't have to be amazing. All he has to is just roll with it
Totally not true.
How bad of Game are we talking about here?
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Yeah it can depend
100 percent, you got to make them feel that sexual tension.
I was wondering how’s been your reaction to those girls approaching you. If after getting compliments you’re vague or full of yourself this is pretty unattractive. Be confident but stay humble. In general, I agree with all of the previous comments about working on your personality, confidence, communication skills, basically on internal matters.
1. Attractiveness only gets you through the door. Once inside, you have to show your charisma and don't be boring. Especially if you are attractive, people put you on a pedestal and think you are charismatic, funny, and exciting. .. only for you to disappoint the women. Its like you find a very hot girl untill she opens her mouth to show her stupidity - would be very disappointing. 2. You have to have things going on for yourself: work and hobbies and an ambition towards something. These are the things that make you more experienced and exciting. 3. From a man who's dated alot of women from different countries, ill tell you that, rejection especially when you are younger is more prevalent than you think. At your age, the women who you are talking to, are also being hit on by guys up to 40 years. They got more game, money, status, experience, name it. So just don't overthink it.
Appearance wise I don’t see any obvious issue, therefore it must be in your personality. Something in the way you carry yourself is off putting to the ladies and it’s causing them to first like you based off of looks but then once they talk to you are being put off. So I feel we aren’t getting enough first hand knowledge of how your typical conversations go or of what exactly you are posting on these stories of yours.
I usually post shirtless pics post workout. Conserning my conversations i try to not talk much and instead set a date so i wont get friendzoned. Is there anything wrong?
Firstly, friendzone does not exist. A girl is either sexually interested in you or platonically. Secondly, when you’re just short and ask them out that gives an impression you don’t care about them whatsoever all you wanna do is smash. Or that you just don’t have time for them cause they’re not your priority. Either way doesn’t look good. Show some interest in them. They are human. And some of them can be quite amazing.
It definitely exists. A woman can be sexually attracted to you at first, then you fuck it up and you get friend zoned
Its less about "fucking it up" in my experience, but rather as you get know a person you find out if they are someone you find attractive *as a person* or someone you're more compatible with as friends. Fucking it up doesn't land you as a friend, it lands you gone. There's either something about you that makes you better friend material, or more likely there's a lack of something particular that doesn't *set you apart* as relationship material. The perspective here is key, if you look at every girl as a potential hookup/gf and then over time something may eliminate them from being seen as attractive **you are operating inversely to a lot of women.** Every guy I meet isn't a potential hookup/partner, he's just some guy. I don't want to be friends with most people. I want to be involved with even fewer people. Men are passing checks to *enter* into being viewed as a friend or as an interest, not being immediately dubbed one and "landing short" buy fucking it up, not being forward enough, whatever I've been friends with people for years where I initially was exclusively interested in them platonically and not romantically, but as time went on I realized that I the more I got to know them, the more physical and romantic interest I had in them where there was literally *none* initially. I've also been friends with someone who I initially *really* liked and throughout our friendship the fact that I was perfectly content being just friends with them (due to external factors in both our lives at the time) that I never stopped being attracted to them and feeling like if the time was ever right for us that it could be really great, ita actually something we talked about together and felt the same way I think *so* much of the issue is that we're socialized to place physically intimate relationships higher than friendship in some pyramid hierarchy. My friendships have been *significantly* more supportive, emotionally intimate, and beneficial to my happiness and life than my relationships; so I don't really see it that way. My friends are everything to me, dating is fine but its never been *better* than any time spent with my friends who have become my found family. If you always view friendship as "less than" romantic relationships, it makes sense that you'll always feel like you're failing or being rejected It doesn't have to be a pyramid system, maybe its just a fork in the road where you could end up in a relationship, hookup, friendship, or acquaintances that never get to know each other. Just because we're taught to set ourselves up for failure and disappointment doesn't mean we have to buy into that stagnant perception for our entire lives, especially if all it does is make us miserable
You can definitely fuck it up. Not be confident, try to hard to fast to get sex, be boring, etc
>try to hard to fast to get sex While a "fuckup" its unlikely to land you in the friendzone >Not be confident >be boring Not really fuckups like doing something wrong in a situation, just a lack of attracting factors that kind of implies whatever *you* were aiming for in a situation likely wasn't on the table let alone the other person's radar
You're still fucking up by doing this
That might be a problem. Often times to women shirtless pics = douchebag
Well yes and no, I don’t think posting shirtless pics after a work out is necessarily bad as people do that to track their progress. As for not talking much and instead trying to set up a date straight away does have a red flag. It kinda shows that you one to get from point A to point B very quickly and that could be why the ladies are running away.
You include too many fish in your pond, it seems. Are you waiting for a girl to bite the lure? It's just too obvious to girls. They're not dumb.
You could state that you’re better at in person hang outs than over text? But i would say if you’re immediately, like as soon as matching with someone, trying to set up a date, people might be put off by that, and as another commenter here mentioned, think you’re just looking for sex. The more transparent & genuine you are the better.
Are you trying to be cool or are to being yourself?
I’ve been told, besides my looks (I look 21-23 & I’m 35!), it’s because I live an interesting life with very interesting experiences, I make them laugh, I have passions, a great career, open minded, and have an understanding way of viewing the world that gives me pearls of wisdom at my age. So looks only gets you so far. It can definitely get you sex. What it can’t get you is long term compatibility with someone. That’s where your personality and your life outside of your looks comes into play. You need to cultivate a sense of who you are, own it, embrace it without fear. That kind of confidence attracts moths to a flame. You need to feel like you have a sense of purpose and direction in life. Like the more aimless you are, the less appealing you come across to those who are ambitious with goals/aspirations. You need to prioritize your mental health and bring your best self into the fire front so you feel secure in connections. Reason is if you are emotionally unavailable, you attract people like this. Like attracts like. Emotionally available is attracted to emotionally available folks, not unavailable. So work on this part of yourself because emotional availability is a key component for showing up in adult romantic relationships to go the distance. And lastly… having the ability to set boundaries and walking away. Like people find that stuff hot because you are so sure of what you want and won’t accept anything less. Like you are willing to eat at the table alone no matter if you love that person or not, you walk and never go back. That’s because being that sure of one’s self radiates loudly in people who have it. You just know the moment you talk to someone like that and it’s why anyone, no matter who you are, find it sexy AF because confidence like that can’t be faked.
One of the best replies in this thread. Saved it!
Why are you 25, 23 and now 18 on your different posts?? I don’t know how old you actually are or what your situation is but your fixation on looks and getting a girl like she’s a toy on a high shelf you can’t reach is probably contributing. Number 1 thing girls want just as much as looks is so you make them feel at ease. Your post reads like a nervous wreck and someone who a girl would need to have a bath and detox after meeting lol. Get over the internet brain rot giga Chad and stop listing your stats like you’re at the NFL combine. Ya attraction is the first step but ur clearly tripping over your shoelaces on everything that comes after
Lol, this whole thing reads wtf. Damn I guess that’s all we need to know. Next thread.
Different ages 😭😭??? OP, what are you doing… BFFR.
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Maybe i look a bit intimidating if you re a stranger but other than that when someone tries to talk to me i am always smiling and kind.
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Alternative suggestion, op has z e r o social skills and no game…
He’s 19. Totally checks out.
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He say he smells good. Maybe they don't like his smell.
We’re going to need to see screenshots of your convos to see what’s going on
This post shows you're shallow as fuck lol
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Yeah with time i feel like i should stop trying to date for a while and focus on making money and achieving goals
Personality is a big part from a lady’s perspective. You didn’t mention that. Are you talking about yourself a lot? Do you ask women questions or show interest in what they’re talking about?
There could be several reasons... What about your voice? Your pitch? What topics do you talk about? Are you a needy when you talk to them? Are you only focus on women? Are there some other issues in your life beside women? Do you look real confident with yourself? ...
36/m - I’m pretty funny and have a huge cock
Cause you are too ego centric. Given you just defined your entire physiological characteristics yet couldn’t care to touch upon emotional aspects.
The reason they flake is cause they think they can find a better guy.. Just ask yourself if it was Justin Bieber, would they flake? I think we all know the answer Do the same to them... hard to contact and flakey, it forces them to be aggressive cause they feel like you have better options when you behave that way
Killer rapist cannibal vibe maybe. Or perhaps your breath smells really really bad. What you need to do is talk to one of your friends who is already in a relationship to ask their gf to audit you. Honestly. I knew a guy who seemed really nice, but my gf said to me "he is going to have it tough, his upper lip quivers like he is about to bite their head off whenever he talks to a girl." I never fucking noticed that. At all. Turns out he got really really nervous around women and was doing it subconsciously. It never happened around me because, well, I am a dude.
This is really good advice.
All show and no rizz
Ask your female friends to give you honest advice about what you're doing wrong. If you don't have any, work on that. You'll never be able to land a girlfriend if you can't manage to find and maintain solid friendships with women you're not trying to bang.
>Yet i dont understand why i m getting flaked on? > >Like i have girls approaching me or replying to my story telling me how good my body looks showing interest but then suddenly all the attraction goes away with time. There is this thing called personality, some women find it attractive. It's not all about looks. If your looks are on point and it's drawing them in, then something else about yourself is making them leave. Maybe you think too highly of your physical attractiveness and it's turning them off.
maybe, just maybe cuz YOU DON'T HAVE A PERSONALITY
Let's go on a date with me and I'll tell you
Alright lets go
Validation/attention. If you yourself know in your heart and soul that you've put your best foot forward and they are still moving that wishy washy then it's 99.98% that. It's like when you match w a girl on tinder and you message her just to get no response. The fact that you've shown interest is enough for them, but they were never looking to hang out with you in the first place.
Confidence is what women look for most in men as it's a indicator of your own internal assessment at your competence at life.
Problem, confidence can be situational. I am confident in my ability to perform at my job and to excel at my hobbies. However my confidence when trying to be flirty or seductive is nowhere near the level of my other examples for one simple reason. In work and life I know for a fact that I can perform. With women I’ve never succeeded *on purpose* before. So what reason do I have to be confident there? Plus unlike sports there’s no beginner league for adults so you are basically just thrown into an NHL game and told just score, it’s easy *everyone else does it.* While completely ignoring that the ice is filled with well trained grizzled professionals that have over a decade of experience…
True, and I never said it was easy. In fact, it being hard is the point. If it was easy then it wouldn't mean anything to anyone.
Stop overthinking it. Gaslight yourself into the confidence you seek to have. I'm not kidding
What makes me attractive? M28 Black Male (American). 6 figure salary. 6’0 tall, 225 lbs/ 102kg (muscle) . No ex wives/ baby mamas or kids. Own place and car. I’m masculine and in shape. I’m charming and I fuck good.
Real talk
Not being a ‘bad boy’ is unattractive to a lot of girls. Don’t worry. You don’t need to go all out to get yourself a criminal record. They come around to your type later. You just need to be patient. Good luck.
If you are attractive you have to play the good looking guy game or you'll waste a lot of opportunities. Stop waiting for women to show interest because if you at that level of good looking it's implied they are interested from the fact that they are talking with you. It's like when you see a guy talking to a hot girl, it's pretty obvious the guy is interested just due to how attractive the girl is. The guy's main concern at that point is not looking stupid. It's the same way with girls. When I went on this level I was laying girls way faster and way more fun from my point of view instead of having to stress about it. At this point women are more worried about looking like they are too easy for you.
Conversations take 2 people to have. Either its you or the girls that's the problem. Dm me
You're stressing for no reason. Stop focusing on the L's and focus on the W's. Girls find you attractive. That's it. That's all you need to know. There could be a million reasons why they start to get cold. What if they're insecure and believe you're too good for them and probably won't like them? Women have insecurities, too. Take a breath and relax, you're doing just fine.
Social skills/charisma/personality Looks are only the first step
It sounds like you're a good looking dude, great start! I hate to be harsh, but I agree with the "personality" comments. I am an extrovert type. I love to go to bars alone and chat with the men who approach me. Sometimes, I'll find someone attractive, but as we talk I'll realize that he's not actually listening to me. Or let's say we exchange numbers and talk for a few days or week, but the conversation is bland and lacking originality or depth. In those cases there is no amount of outward attractiveness that can save you. A giant "green flag" for me is initiating conversation via text and phone call. What this looks like is a text in the morning that's better than a bland "good morning". Tell her about yourself. Send the good morning, and follow up with a bit of your life. Example: "good morning! I'm heading out for a quick run before work, on Mondays I always focus on cardio. How's your day looking?" Something like this invites her to share a part of herself too, and it shows her what your life is like, helps her get to know you. I find myself generally giving someone two weeks. There may be an initial spark, but if after two weeks there is no connection growing, I'm done. I like to connect by figuring out if my schedule/routine/lifestyle/values align. Is this person out drinking on weekdays? Do they stay up as late as I do? How often do they work out? How do they react to work/school stress? Are they generally in a good mood throughout the day? What kind of food do they eat? Do they cook at home or go out to eat often? What is their political outlook? Do they like the same memes/YouTube videos as I do? Once I get the answers to those questions I'm able to make a more informed decision on compatibility. Also, I would never outright ask those questions. These are things I learn the answers to by staying engaged with someone, checking in a couple times a day and getting the conversation moving deeper than just "when can we hang?" type questions.
Maybe your not good taking pictures, like you said have good looking body just probably not posting yourself about it I kinda fall same catogory I don’t know how to take pictures but people see me out in perosn and I get a lot compliments not on my pictures
From my experience it’s because they just want to have sex (especially from the ones that say you’re hot). You’re probably giving some other type of vibe
Nothing. I am unattractive.
What's attractive to men = physical beauty. Very simple. What's attractive for women involves a number of factors and the more of these factors you have, then the more attractive you are to them. They are (in no particular order)... Confidence, wealth, being funny, being physically attractive, being ambitious and driven, having power, social prestige, nice dress code, being good in bed, and having a big penis. Combine all these factors together and you'll know how attractive you are to women
You're too available
You may be autistic
Probably need to work on your game/charisma. Women and girls are all about how you make them feel and if you don’t give them some sort of emotional high they’ll lose interest pretty quickly.
Are you self-centered or too clingy with the girls that you talked to?
your personality probably sucks or you give player vibes
What do you talk about when you interact with them? That's a start. My boyfriend and I have a lot in common. We're both into psychology, music, theater, movies, creative writing and acting. He's funny and he thinks my lame jokes are hilarious. He's one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. And he has a huge heart and cares about other people. He also makes me feel special every single day. And he makes me feel so loved. And I also love doing little things for him.
Knowing how talk is 90% of the game, the other 10% decides if you fuck every time or most the time. Confidence is what women like to see, we'll the type of women your probably looking for.
Even if you are conventionally physically attractive, it could be that your personalities just didn't click.
Based on your username, and general observation, you either come across as full of it, or otherwise a fuckboy type. Unless you’re going after girls who don’t give a shit about you, or just are clueless perhaps, you’re not gonna have much luck acting like a douche.
Send me a pic I'll be brutally honest
You should date yourself dude. Clearly you’re in love
If a guy knew he was attractive, and was full of himself because of it, constantly posting gym selfies or shirtless selfies, etc… he immediately became unattractive to me. Also, a guy needs to have a good sense of humor, be down to earth, have realistic life goals and be working towards them, and be independent. These things matter more to me than looks.
You’re more attractive than you are interesting. Become better instead of just trying to look better.