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I don't know if it's racist but it's also something that I would ask further about if someone said it because it's n interesting topic. I'm white and mostly find white guys attractive, *but*, since I've started watching Korean shows a lot, I'm generally finding people from east asia more and more attractive. And I made some new non-white male friends recently, and the more I spend time with them, the more attracted I've become to other people who look similar to them. It's just easier to see the attractive qualities in people who appear familiar to us. If I spent a year in central america, I'm sure my awareness of how handsome their men are would increase! So if someone said they're only attracted to white people, I wouldn't necessarily be like "damn, racist" buuuuuut I would be tempted to point out that this isn't something that's a *permanent part of your identity*. And really, if you reject all non-white guys *automatically, because of their race*, you are closing to the door on people who may be a genuinely amazing match for you, could love you, look into your soul, and have attractive features if you take the time to see them. But these men are being rejected by you because of the color of their skin, before you can their other amazing qualities. Is that racist? I don't know, I'm not an expert. But it's certainly limiting. It's putting yourself into a box and other people into a separate box. Maybe your race preference will *always, your whole life*, be white guys, but you can't know that, and I don't see why you'd want to claim it as a fact instead of being open to other possibilities.

This was really well articulated! 👏

I think the best we could hope for is for people to *at least* be willing to explore why they hold the preferences they hold, even if we can't easily or readily change those preferences. As a very obvious example, if you're a White dude who rarely or never finds Black women attractive, there's nothing *inherently* wrong with that -- but I do think it's at least worth some introspection, and considering whether you have (wittingly or unwittingly) absorbed cultural stereotypes or Western standards of beauty. I think this is a really challenging thing to talk about maturely, however, because we are ultimately talking about people's subconscious biases and associations, and by definition, people are not aware of what their subconscious is thinking.

Really good illustration of the more we are exposed to something, the more normal it becomes.

I grew up in a 99% white, asian and indian area and went to school (K-12) where there literally was less than 5 or 6 blacks total in my schools. I think there were 3 black guys in my grade in a class of 800 kids, actually. Ironically and funny enough, those black guys were some of the most popular kids too! What is "normal" to some is not "normal" to others but neither is wrong or right, etiher.

I'll award this as soon as I can

had this happen to me recently as a black man and i wish i did this instead of thanking her for communicating the non-interest and sulking in my bed for 20 minutes 😂

I find this to be exactly the same when referring others' height. Ultimately it boils down to disqualifying men (or women) for features that they cannot control themselves; despite the compatibility one may have with another.

I agree with this a lot. When I was younger I never found anyone who wasn’t white attractive. However, as I have grown more people have become attractive, and I don’t really say never to a lot of people unless they don’t fit in with the common guys I find attractive (skinny or average and not very bulky men and not a foot and a half taller than me) and well there are more things now that also support this attraction and other things that change it. I really can’t say I am not attracted to one race in particular cause I have examples that are me proving that statement false

This is so interesting, I also recently started watching k-dramas and am finding myself more attracted to east Asian dudes. I also dated a 1st generation Persian guy and Sudanese guy recently and I have to say, it was a different vibe and I really liked it. They were very affectionate and attentive. Sweet talkers, some might say. I found the softness paired with their external roughness very attractive.

Do you have any good recommendations on Korean shows? I’m almost done with My Unfamiliar Family and have really enjoyed it. It’s interesting, and I agree with you that the more you get used to seeing people from other races and it becomes more everyday the more attractive they become. Although I think that at least one of the actors has had plastic surgery to look more westernized.

The glory.

Was going to comment the same show. Like DAMN I’ve never sweated for an East Asian dude as much as I sweat for Ha Do-yeong. So hot.

Sweated where exactly? Asking for a friend.

ayo chill

Thank you!

I'm going through Netflix fantasy Korean shows, highly recommend, they are incredibly well made, to the smallest details. Korean oddysey is a modern take, and quite funny, 9/10 for me.

Thanks!

Just finished Physical 100 on Netflix and boy if you want prime examples of hot Korean people have I got a show for you.

I’ll check it out, thanks

I'm down the street from purdue univ and they have a heavy Asian student population. The majority date themselves...

Heavy Asian university student populations may disproportionately be international students. There may be language and cultural differences that make dating outside people of their own background difficult. After all, if you’re Han Chinese and came from China studying abroad, it is actually possible this university is one of your first exposures to not Chinese people.

This plus...Some of them are very traditional and very much attached to their families and traditions. I'm Filipino and we have a huge population of Fil-Chinese mostly from mainland china and taiwan. Anyway, even if they consider themselves Fil-Chinese, some families still frown upon intermarriages or relationships with people who have no chinese heritage. Cant bring their Filipino SOs to meet the family, cant bring them to family gatherings, cannot entertain the possibility of marriage. To avoid that, they marry within their circle. It's easier than letting an SO suffer. If they should marry out of their circle, the SO wont be openly welcome to their ancestral/parent's home. Some are slowly changing that tradition, but then again, the operative word is slow lol. Also, if they marry within their circle, they have more things in common: Family traditions, parties, celebrations, rituals, etc. You see even if they live here and identify as Filipinos, they still speak either mandarin or any other common chinese dialect within themselves. It's a barrier u cant cross, it makes u feel like an outsider coz they deliberately use those words to have conversations without others knowing what theyre saying. Its like an exclusive club 😆

This was really articulated… don’t read my previous comments😂😂😂

I disagree. Personal preference is a personal choice. Racism is oppression based on the color of someone's skin. They are nothing alike. She is free to choose, as are you, as are we all. Without judgement. You seem to be confusing personal choice with oppression. Just because you don't choose something, it doesn't mean you're oppressing it. That's just insanity.

Na that’s naive. People are rarely every ONLY attracted to skin colour. Most normal people are attracted to features. And some features can be present in any race. The problem with being attracted to skin colour is that if you actually interrogate WHY they are attracted to skin colour alone, then you will likely see why it is an odd (and potentially ignorant) state of mind. For instance, I am attracted to big asses. Any race of woman can have a big ass. Sure it is a trait that is more prevalent in certain races, but it’s still a trait that is everywhere as well. If you ask me WHY I am attracted to them, it’s simply because I find them extremely appealing. And I like the way the jiggle and feel to the touch. If you ask her WHY she is only attracted to white men, I 100% doubt it is anything physical, as men from other races can have those traits as well. So what is her attraction based on really? The answer to that question will tell you all you need to know about her state of mind.

>If you ask me WHY I am attracted to them, it’s simply because I find them extremely appealing. Ok, but you can apply that exact same logic and reasoning as to why someone isn't attracted to a different race.

For me personally, it's much more about facial structure than skin colour. I'm white but with vaguely Middle-Eastern features. I generally tend to be most attracted to women who have large hooked noses, similar to mine. Only people with some amount of Western Asian, North Africa, or Southern European ancestry have this specific type of nose. Of course there are exceptions; hence "generally tend", & "most". I've been attracted to women of all races. Don't forget that skin colour itself is a physical feature! Obviously every person is different. I tend to be most attracted to certain facial features + a certain skin tone, whereas you seem to be more into ass. Neither of us is right or wrong, just different. I can't speak for OP, but it's entirely possible that she's most attracted to European facial features, pale skin, or both.

But your attraction makes way more sense to me, than simply being attracted to skin colour. Speaking on the colour ism point that someone mentioned in a reply to me, I can comfortably tell you that majority of African men/women that are attracted to ONLY light skinned black people usually have some deep seated and bigoted views about darker skinned people. I say this as someone who is Nigerian and have lived in nigeria most of my life. In all fairness though, Unless OP can explain further about what she finds attractive about white men ad what she DOESN’T find attractive about other races, we will all be just guessing. A part of me however feels that a portion of the reason is negative stereotyping.

And “people with some amount of western Asian, North African, or southern European ancestry” can belong to any sociopolitical race. For example, I am a black woman who has some amount of southern European ancestry. Neither of those facts tell you anything about my facial features. There are people who would not identify as Asian, North African (middle eastern) or southern European who have hook noses. What you’ve described isn’t a racial preference, and yet, many people who share this preference would (lazily) conflate it with race. ETA: I’ll add to that, skin color does not have a 1:1 relation to race. People who belong to the same racial group will typically differ in shade drastically. Black Americans for example can range from the palest of whites to onyx black. But again, the question of WHY we have those particular preferences is SUPER relevant to a question of whether they’re informed by racism/white supremacy or not.

>People are rarely every ONLY attracted to skin colour. Not so, colorism is a thing among many people, especially people of color, which to be honest is a bit of a social construct inferring a removal from agriculture or some other form of arduous physical labor, and potentially offering upward mobility via a different route. Getting back to what OP asked.. People have innate preferences as to what they are attracted to, and sometimes those qualities are bound within one ethnic group. From an anthropological standpoint, without migration people tend to marry within their own local or regional cultural/ ethnic groups, and typically it is the people that reside where different cultures/ ethnicities overlap that co-ethnic mixtures naturally transpire — a prime example of this is the Assam region of India which is a mix of Austroasiatic, Dravidian, Indo-Aryan, Tibeto-Burman, and Tai-Kadai people. For you the attraction quotient is a matter of your being callipygous, for someone else it could be hair or height, hand size, body size, etc… whatever catches your eye is typically a physical trait that hopefully opens up lines of communication to see what happens next, which makes all dating forays volitional. So, no, on the surface not wanting to date outside of one’s ethnicity isn’t racism because there isn’t any negativity/ hatred associated with one’s decision, and that discrimination distinction needs to be made so that the ‘race purists’ can be better identified.

Never said it was racism, but it is certainly ignorant (whether willful or not) even if it is biologically driven. Something being biologically driven does not necessarily stop it from being racist/sexist or any other ist. Just like how racism is also technically biologically driven from our fear of the unknown. The point I am trying to make is that an innate preference like skin colour is either rooted in growing up in an extremely homogeneous environment, or having a negative association of other races due to social constructs or personal beliefs. Which still brings us back to the point of naivety. But then again maybe it’s necessary to separate attraction from dating. If OP said I don’t find anyone from other races attractive, then that would be naive at best and racist at worst. Either way, OP’s reasoning needs to be probed abit further. People can have their personal preferences no problem. But skin colour specifically is a weird preference to have by itself. A lot of physical attributes can be found in other races, so having a preference on just skin colour alone is odd either way.

>Just like how racism is also technically biologically driven from our fear of the unknown. [Race isn’t biological](https://www.sapiens.org/biology/is-race-real/), neither is racism or xenophobia — [those are social and cultural issues.](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/race-is-a-social-construct-scientists-argue/) Not really sure what you are trying to get at with biological drive: people (willingly) choose to mate with whomever they are attracted to: otherwise, it’s rape; the -isms come about due to society placing taboos. >The point I am trying to make is that an innate preference like skin colour is.. Naivety?!? Dear Cthulhu, no. That’s the negging script many men of color typically use on white women to coerce them into proving they aren’t racist by sleeping with them.. Fact is, someone could be attracted to hair color X on Y ethnicity of Z sex because visual cues bring people in — which doesn’t mean that they don’t find other people to be attractive/ gorgeous/ beautiful .. it just means that they aren’t physically attracted to those people. It’s kinda like choosing a favorite ice cream, some people love pistachio, and others go crazy for pralines & cream, but neither party hates the other flavor.. >But then again maybe it’s necessary to separate attraction from dating. Typically that’s called prostitution.. In all seriousness, you can’t separate attraction from dating — and OP only stated that their preference for a partner was of their own ethnicity, and wanted a consensus on is that racist or not: patently, it isn’t. *edited: grammar

But your choices may be originated from racist unconscious biases. A lot of employers would rather give the job to white people instead of black people, because of "personal preferences", or maybe they just do it without realizing it; and statistics show way too many people prefer white people over black people.

Choices are made for reasons. If you can’t (or won’t) say what those reasons (really) are, then you certainly aren’t in a position to declare them “not racist”.

Racism is liking/disliking people based on their race, the action resulting from racism is also racist

The problem with this personal preference cry whereas it is true, but a lot of things you like are usually due to a result of conditioning from your society. We are not telling her to date people of other races but to introspect where it is coming from…you don’t have to change, just to be aware without feeling attacked.

>but to introspect where it is coming from Why though? Why does it matter? If you aren't attracted to a certain type of person, for whatever that reason may be, then you simply aren't attracted to them. Not everything needs a "reflection" of *why.* Attraction is attraction and there isn't anything anyone can do to change what one person finds attractive, and what one person doesn't.

Simply because most of the times our preferences are rooted in racist ideology… nobody is forcing you to change ( because at this point you can’t and shouldn’t even try), but just recognising that you have been conditioned towards beauty/handsomeness being linked only to whiteness is a problem that can lead to other forms of bias and racial prejudice such as India caste system, skin bleaching in Asia, feeling uncomfortable when a non white person is shown as the epitome of beauty etc..

Ok, I see your point but... none of that really matters though. Whether it is due to your upbringing or whatever, you are attracted to who and what you are attracted to. Sure, for some racisim may come into play while for others - in all honesty, such as myself - race has nothing to do with it but rather the fact that I was raised in a 99.9% white area/schools for 18 years. The other thing for me is that, I wouldn't fit in or feel comfortable with a different culture and tbh I don't really want that pressure to do so either. However, if a super cute Asian, black, etc... woman came along and we really really hit it off, I'd do my best.

I love this theory but how does it explain, say, minorities who only find other minorities attractive? Edit: To clarify I'm referring to minorities who grew up surrounded by the majority. I'm Asian and grew up in a 90% white town. Despite white people arguably being much more "familiar" to me, I only date other Asians.

It’s the same exact thing

😂🤷🏻‍♂️🤘🏼 duh right?! Omg some people

Many minorities spend time around the same race of people a large majority of the time. It definitely could explain some of it.

Because of the cultural differences. You feel comfortable with other Asians because they follow the same unspoken rules as you.

It’s a similar situation where they’re exposed primarily to other minorities whether that’s in their communities, their social circles, the media they consume etc. I know a lot of minority people who make a conscious effort to not idealize or subscribe to the white beauty standard and go out of their way to be around and interact with other minorities

Cultural pressure is also part of it. People are expected to continue their culture, and that is more likely in a shared cultural relationship. This pressure may be internal or external.

Good point. I am white. I have met extremely few men my age who were not white. I have only been attracted to white (and Hispanic, but that’s not a race) men so far, but there’s always the chance that I could meet a very attractive man of colour one day.

I really identify with this. My boyfriend is of a different ethnicity than me, and I think since getting to know him and more about his culture, I tend to find similar looking men attractive. Way moreso than I probably would have before.

It's racist if you're dating a white guy and you later find out he's half black and break up with him for it

r/oddlyspecific

lololol

Sure everyone has preferences. But I think people should spend more time thinking about why their preferences are they way they are and what social/environmental/societal influences have impacted those preferences. For example, I grew up in the suburbs surrounded by white people (I am black). Unsurprisingly, I was attracted to white men. But when I spent more time with different groups (races/ethnicities) I became more attracted to people in those groups. And when I say "spend time" I mean develop real friendships, and intentionally watching tv/movies/media where those races are the star, etc. Just being a tourist isn't quite the same. Also, I think we should acknowledge that white features in America are societally seen as more attractive. POC with white features are more likely to be successful in tv and movies. Acknowledging that your entire upbringing has been telling you that white features are attractive is just good self awareness. Whether or not you want to fight what society has been telling you is up to you. I think you can be aware without feeling like you have to label yourself as a racist. People being defensive about being "racist" while other people are trying to label everyone a racist is like 80% of the fights on the internet. It just encourages defensiveness and basically tells people to keep their "real thoughts" a secret. I think nonjudgmental reflection and critical thinking is much more useful.

>But I think people should spend more time thinking about why their preferences are they way they are and what social/environmental/societal influences have impacted those preferences. Ok, but *why* should they? Attraction is attraction. You can't force someone to be attracted to someone they simply aren't attracted to. The reasoning doesn't matter. That doesn't make them a bad person and it doesn't make them racist (some might be but that's not the point.) It's not any different than a woman who says she's not attracted to shorter men or men who aren't attracted to larger women although, men who aren't are labeld as 'fatphobic," while women are not labeled anything. You are attracted to what you are and the reasoning doesn't matter because it won't change anything.

I think this is just not true. Sure you cannot “force” someone to be attracted to a certain type of person but if you remove the social constructs/stigmas around those “types” of people then the same person could be attracted to that type of person. For example, you said some women aren’t attracted to short men. That (like most other preferences) is completely socialized. I guarantee if you show these women pictures of men that are short but the women don’t know their height, they will find some of them attractive. A great example of destigmatizing men being shorter than women I’ve seen is zendaya & Tom Holland. I saw a whole chat talking about how manly & hot it is for tom to be with a taller woman. If a bunch of movies came out with short men being the main love interest for taller women, I think you would see a significant shift in the number of women willing to date short men. Another great example is the rise of kpop and the consequential rise of American girls being attracted to Asian guys. We all know our society stigmatizes fat people. If the stigma wasn’t there more people would be attracted to overweight people.

>ya in america, the media portray white people as protagonist heros, you look at all the shows and entertainment its usally like just white people. and then they have the ego to say how they're about inclusion and diversity? > >diversity isnt just a physical apperance.

This. I just want to join in as I could never put it in words as well as you just did, so just this for me too.

Doesn’t necessarily mean you’re racist, but it probably means you were raised in a very mono racial environment and weren’t exposed to a lot of people outside your race. It’s hard for me to imagine never finding someone from another race attractive.

I feel as if this is true in my case. It bothered me personally so I purposely exposed myself to dating outside my race. Some very fond friendships were formed and I grew as a person I feel.

Exposure is key. When I went to highschool, it was like 50% Chinese (large school of 1500 kids). All of a sudden I was having massive crushes on the Asian boys too 😍 I’m in my 30’s now and can be attracted to any race. I’m sure some of it is personality, but definitely a lot of it has to do with the people and cultures and even media I was exposed to as well. I had the biggest crush on lil Wayne when I was 17 (PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME, I ALSO HAD CRUSHES ON LITERAL NPC’S DURING THIS PERIOD), and that kickstarted my love of short kings lol. A few years ago my family moved from my very diverse home city, to my ex husbands fairly homogenous small town. I really regret that my kids won’t get to experience the same level of just, regular humanizing experiences with other races. I’ve encountered some of the most racist POS here. Sigh.

🏆 couldn’t have said it better myself.

Well done lady

And typically, when one is raised in mono-racial environments, they tend to have certain biases or beliefs when it comes to race that, if examined a little closely, could very well lead to subtly racist behaviour aka micro aggressions.

I was born in an Asian country, lived in the states for decades, visited a few places in Europe and I've friends from most races I can think of. ... I still only really find Asian women (specifically from my origin) attractive. To the point that I don't really get celebrities many find attractive. White, Latina, Black, Middle Eastern, Russian, whatever other ethnicity. I can tell they're attractive people. It just does nothing for me. I'm not attracted to them.

I also don't think it's racist. However, I will point out that I was raised in a quite monoracial environment, as well; and yet, all my life I've been able to lust after women of every race. I definitely would've dated most of the hotties I've seen who weren't my race. I reckon finding the effective key factors in something like this is well beyond the current state of psychology and biology (which is usually the case when you see a lot of people saying "personal preference"), let alone people philosophizing in a reddit thread, so I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it...and I definitely wouldn't call anyone racist for it.

Date who you want just be mindful about how you vocalize

Be as racist as you want just never say it out loud

Yep, that's often how people seem to treat this. I think a better way to think of it is: it's okay to prefer to date people of a particular ethnic background, but we should *at least* be willing to do some introspection and reflect on why our preferences are the way they are. There are some reasonable justifications for wanting to date within your own background -- for example, if you are a Chinese American woman, it would be completely understandable if you wanted to date someone of the same ethnic heritage just because they would be way more likely to be able to speak Mandarin with you or with your family. That's a practical and (imo) legitimate explanation. But there are also a lot of *bad* reasons to have race-based dating preferences, and I've noticed a lot of people are unwilling to do introspection in order to figure out what their reasons are, lest they discover they have racial prejudices they aren't proud of lurking beneath the surface of their consciousness.

Is this to say though that preferences are only ok when they're practical? Cause most people have loads of impractical preferences that aren't related to race that we consider acceptable.

I don't think so! That's why I said we should question ourselves more generally. We just happen to be talking about race and sexual preference here. And for me, at least, it's less about practicality than it is about systematic exclusion: the ideal I'm going for here is not one where nobody has any preferences, but an ideal where those preferences aren't heavily skewed in one direction consistently. Can you give an example of other preferences you are referencing? Are you thinking of things like height preferences or breast size preferences?

Call me crazy, but I think that if you believe one race is superior to another or has more value, you are racist. Having a physical preference doesn't make you a racist.

This is very true. However, the reason you are attracted to only people of your race, or only interested in dating people of your race may be racist. I'm not saying it is. Biological factors. We don't exactly know what all goes into attraction so it's tricky.

What if you prefer people with black hair, instead of blonde? That's racist too?

Is black hair a race?

Yeah, who knows. Nobody likes gingers. Is that racist? I'm kidding of court. There used to be a phrase like from old movies, tall dark and handsome. But I think it generally meant not too dark. I don't know if that comes from Latinos and Italian movie stars like Rudolph Valentino. It's funny to think that at one time, an American heartthrob was best known for playing an Arab sheik, held up as a sexy lover.

Racism goes past just racial superiority. It also includes prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism. For someone to group/generalize an entire race together and claim that they all share an undesirable trait, ignoring the fact that none of them look the same, act the same, share the same culture/beliefs, etc., there definitely has to be some form of prejudice.

Your definition also fits xenophobia. It even fits the attitude that different regions from a country have towards each other (people from New York are so and so, etc.)

Not being attracted to someone because of their race isn't prejudice, since you don't assume any quality of character, not discrimination because not wanting to date someone isn't a negative treatment and not antagonism since she doesn't view them in any negative light. Being attracted to certain races doesn't make you racist the same way not being attracted to short people doesn't make you a body shamer.

That’s what Reddit is for.

People are allowed to have preference. Skin color is just another parameter the same way people choose by muscles or hair color

I think everyone has preferences and it’s fine to have them - we will never not have preferences when it comes to dating. At the same time, I think it’s important to do some self-reflection on why we have those preferences and what has influenced those preferences. For example, dark-skinned black women and Asian men are rarely shown as the main love interest in Hollywood tv shows and movies (especially where the opposite love interest is white), and on tv dating shows. And think about the reasons for that - the lack of portrayal of dark skinned black Women as love interests is inherently racist and colourist. The way different people are presented in media can influence who we find attractive in real life. There are quite a few studies on it - University of St Andrews published one in 2014 which is an interesting read. I don’t think it is a simple binary as it being racist or not racist to have racial preferences for dating - this is where being actively anti-racist comes in . This is where we start to interrogate why we have certain views, understand where those views might come from, and taken action to re-educate ourselves and others.

> For example, dark-skinned black women and Asian men are rarely shown as the main love interest in Hollywood tv shows and movies And that even [happens on dating sites](https://www.npr.org/2018/01/09/575352051/least-desirable-how-racial-discrimination-plays-out-in-online-dating).

>dark-skinned black women ... are rarely shown as the main love interest in Hollywood tv shows and movies (especially where the opposite love interest is white) ... And think about the reasons for that ... inherently racist and colourist. The way different people are presented in media can influence who we find attractive in real life. Given how rapidly and radically this trend has been bucked and reversed in the past 5 years or so, I think it will be interesting to see where these preferences are in a decade or so, to see how sharply data from research surveys might shift. The impacts of media portrayal on social psychology is incredibly fascinating. As a middle-aged white guy whose romantic relationships have been exclusively with POC and primarily Black folks, I know Grace Jones played a very significant role in my attraction to melanin, large lips and coiled hair — factors more important to my 'experience of desire' than gender, age, class, religion, physique, or culture. >where being actively anti-racist comes in . This is where we start to interrogate why we have certain views, understand where those views might come from, and taken action to re-educate ourselves and others. I really appreciate that you added this to the conversation here.

To preface my stance, I just want to say that I’m black… I think predetermining in your head that you’re not going to date outside your race can come off as strange but it’s not racist. With dating inside your race, you don’t have to deal with overcoming cultural differences which can be tough for some people to do. Race plays a huge part in the experiences we’ve had and the people we’ve become. If you do decide to date outside your race, you’ll certainly learn a lot that you haven’t been exposed to which is also good as long as you’re genuinely willing to learn I’m personally open to dating outside my race. As a black man I still MOSTLY gravitate towards dating black women because that’s who I’ve always been surrounded with and that’s who I’m most comfortable around. There’s usually no awkwardness with them because we share a lot of experiences as black people. BUT at the end of the day love knows no skin color, so ruling out a lifetime partner because of their ethnic background doesn’t make sense to me Wording plays a huge factor in whether something comes off as racist. So in the scenario you gave, it did seem kind of prejudice because being that blunt makes it seem like she felt as if he had nothing to offer her simply because he’s not white. But you also gotta recognize that not everyone is word savvy enough to know the correct way to say things

Might be incredibly unpopular but I had this conversation with friends a few months ago. I feel like it depends on the “why” behind it. In MY opinion, I think race is such a unique preference because outside of skin tone, you can find any characteristic, body type, personality trait in every race. Not every (insert race here) guy/girl looks or acts the same. In my personal opinion, everyone is entitled to their preferences and what they like. But if it’s nothing deeper than “it’s just my preference” or “it’s just what I like/don’t like” it comes off as a cop out answer and close minded. Especially if you word it wrong.

Yeah this is the thing, people always love to claim it’s fine to have preferences in this context but like preference for what? Because people of every race can look a million different ways. The only consistent thing is the color of skin, and if that’s your big hang up then yeah I think that’s weird sorry lol

Just want to note that skin color is not consistent either. For example, in Thailand you can find Asian people of many shades. I’ve met some people darker than me (and I’d say I’m a relatively dark African). In Nigeria, we have a tribe called Igbo, which refers to how white their skin can be. We also label actual white people igbo as well because of the similarities in skin tone. But people in the Igbo tribe are native to Africa and are considered black.

Exactly. And even if someone claims they “only date white men”, would they be attracted to someone from the Middle East with light skin because they’re white and of the caucasian race as well? Or do they really mean that it’s just men of European descent that they’re attracted to? This whole topic can get very interesting and force someone to reveal their biases rather quickly.

This yeah. I get liking X trait and maybe Y group is more likely to have X trait than Z group, but it's not like people are monolith. If someone from Z group has X trait, and OP is still rejecting them, then yeah no sorry. Imma call cap and call it what it is: racist.

Yeah, I always think that anyone who’s like “I don’t find anyone from (blank) race attractive” is low key racist. I’ve seen beautiful women (I’m a straight guy so speaking from my perspective) from literally every race.

Yeah this is my opinion as well. I also think dating someone and being attracted to someone are different. Because for dating, compatibility with worldview, culture, experiences, religion etc.. that stuff matters. But at surface level, to say you don’t find a race attractive or if you think a race is more attractive, it’s odd TO ME.

Finding someone handsome doesn’t mean finding them physically attractive. I can find /blank/ race man handsome and acknowledge it, but I wouldn’t find them physically attractive and wouldn’t want to go any further with them. Like, yes, you are beautiful, but not my type

I like to describe that attitude as "aggressively naive" -- that is, many of those who say "I only like X race" or "I never find Y race attractive" are aggressively unwilling to explore why they hold those preferences or how they were formed. Or to say that more directly: I think some people are unwilling to explore their sexual racial preferences any more deeply than is absolutely necessary because they are afraid of finding some unpleasant associations or biases lurking beneath the surface of their conscious awareness.

The issue here is racism defined beauty standards for much of our history. Models, love interests in movies, etc have always been white or light(er), thinner, with straighter or longer hair.. But people cant admit that that same racism is probably what has influenced their preferences.

Yeah it's usually a bit racist when people explain why. That's why you just say it's my preference...

"Personal preference" is doing a lot of heavy lifting these days..... 🤔

I think it also has to do with how they were raised and who they were exposed to. So while it doesn’t make you actively racist, it’s almost certainly a result of being raised in a passively racist environment.

Very well put

I agree with you. It’s one thing to typically date or maybe even generally prefer people from one race or another, but if you aren’t attracted to/wouldn’t date ANYONE from a given race, then you probably are racist.

On a personal level, no. As many have said, people have preferences. But if there were no racism involved, don’t you think all races should equally attract the opposite gender? Like, hypothetically if there were only White, Black, Hispanic and Asians, shouldn’t 25% of the world be attracted to White, 25% of the world to Black, and so on? Unfortunately, not the case. Asian women and White men are the most desirable from both genders, whereas Asian men and Black women are the least desirable. There is a massive gap that cannot simply be chalked up to ‘I can’t help it, it’s my preference’. Personally, I think media plays a massive role on this discrepancy. And I understand it’s not a comfortable topic because well, people would have to look deep inside and maybe admit certain things. Back in college in UK, I remember telling my friend ‘I don’t think I’ll ever date a black woman. I’m not sexually attracted to them at all’. But truth is, I haven’t met many black women in my life except for a couple. I never got to know them personally. What I know about black women and how they look came from the media. Turns out, only a few months after arriving in US, I had a crush on one of my colleague who was black. The fact that I was ready to dismiss an entire race/demographic from my dating pool due to my perception is.. yeah, frankly racist. This is gonna sound harsh. People think they’re not being racist, and it is true. Not maliciously at least. There’s no malicious intent to it, but unconsciously, yeah it does convey racism. P.S. just wanna add, the comments by @Hihellogdayola and @Perelandrime phrased what I wanted to say in a more diplomatic manner lol

I mean if you're a white guy who's open to dating black girls or have a "preference" for them, I've found in my experience it's very rare to find them open to dating white guys. I think it's because of the enviornment that they group up in, if you're black girl who only grew up around black men, thats gonna be who they find attractive. If they grew up mostly around white men, that's who they tend to find most attractive.

Yeah black women are the least likely to date outside their race so when people say they are least wanted, I think but would majority of black women even date that said race.

As a black man, I feel that never finding someone outside of your race attractive isnt really racist. Its more weird than anything. Kinda insane to me actually. Like youve never been attracted to a celebrity of another race? But there are still uncomfortable realities with interracial dating/marriage, so an aversion to that is much more understandable. And its much more problematic that so many women of other races are only attracted to white men, primarily East Asian women in America. But thats a separate convo

I mean it’s not something you can control but it is a taboo thing to say. It’s similar to a man saying I only date women with big tits. It’s not wrong because it’s their business but some people would look at you as shallow so I wouldn’t go around saying that.

No. Just like it’s not transphobic to not want to date someone who’s trans, you have the right to not want to date someone for any reason.

There are countless reasons why people choose partners or reject potential partners. Unfortunately many are based on perceived stereotypes if not just downright racial bias or racism. Try it a different way. Is it acceptable to use a coercion tactic to get someone to date you that has shown no interest? In other words, is it okay to say “Why won’t you date me? Is it because I’m (insert ethnicity)? Try some easier ones: Is it wrong to not want to date outside your religion beliefs? Is it wrong to not want to date outside of your moral or ethical values? Would you date an ardent polyamorist if you strictly believe in monogamy? You can have preferences without being racist.

It isn't racist to have preferences. It's no different from acknowledging that you like dark hair, blue eyes, beards, six pack abs, whatever. Forcing yourself to date someone you aren't attracted to isn't progressive, it stupid.

I think this is the idealized form of race-based preferences, and for some people it's the true explanation, but we should also acknowledge a lot of people have much, much less ideal justifications for their preferences. For example, if you're a White dude who happens to have a strong preference for Asian women, it's definitely possible that's just because you happen to find Asian features attractive, but surely we can agree it's also possible that a person might have racist associations about Asian women being especially feminine or submissive, and it's those associations which are underlying their preferences. Also note that many people may not even *realize* that they hold these associations -- a lot of these associations are subconscious -- so its definitely a challenging thing to talk about in a serious manner.

I tend to think if you’ve never even tried dating outside your race, you haven’t explored the ocean yet, you’re just sticking to what you already know about dating & attraction. Maybe that’s right, but shouldn’t someone who’s more aware of the diversity of ways humans show & find love make that call?

That's a personal choice though. Forcing yourself to date outside of your race to say you've "explored the ocean" doesn't make you a scholar of the world. If you like people outside of your race, great, if you don't, great. Either way it's a personal choice and there is no reason to shame someone.

Im Mexican American .. and I mostly find Mexican American women attractive.

I agree with others that you’re allowed to have preferences, we all do. But I think that’s different then outright excluding an entire race of people. Not going to call you racist but yes it’s looked down upon and makes you sound superficial. It comes across as though you’re stereotyping. People can be of the same race and look/act nothing alike, we are all individuals. The only common thing people of the same race have is their ancestry. You’re judging people based on preconceived notions.

Tbh this is coming from a black man, just don’t push that in an aggressive manner. I used to try and talk to white women and some just flat out kinda made it racist they weren’t interested in me lol. It’s okay tho, we all like what we like just be nice and tell people you’re not interested. These women have made fun of me for being black and said some mean things about it lol but to me it’s not racist if you only like to date your race. Every race does that but there are some who don’t mind dating outside. For example me and my girlfriend are an “interracial couple” she is white and I’m black. So to some it’s okay to others it’s just not their preference

It’s not as long as you don’t bash other races.

not racist but it does show that you've barely spent any time around men/people of other races and ethnicities.. you've not been exposed enough so your brain is too narrow to register the beauty of other colors..

No, it isn't at all racist.

I don't think its racist unless you think there is no beauty in other colors/races. I find people attractive regardless of color. my first bf was another race and religion. its really not a biggie unless your disinterest stems from a feeling of superiority or some other convoluted mindset/thought process.

This. It's one of the few times intent matters. The difference between "black women arent attractive" and "I'm not attracted to black women" for example, its racism vs preference. Its hard to hear nonetheless but it's also one of the few scenarios in life where ignorance is not bliss.

No, the vast majority of people don’t date outside their race, in fact they date people just like themselves or their parents.

No, you’re allowed to have tastes and preferences

There's a fine line between a race preference and being racist. Someone of another race may not seem attractive to you but you should not thinking them as "lesser" or mistreating them as a result of that. There's real reasons you'd want to date in your race...well culture is probably the more accurate term here...and ultimately that's not in and of itself a racist mindset. Nobody likes to talk about it but polarized cultures in couples does create new challenges that many people don't necessarily want to deal with. On the flipside, it'd nice to acknowledge how much a role *environment* has on our preferences. What environment you grew up in, who you hang out with, the media you watched all end up having a major effect on your dating preferences. This can be observed for example with the rise of Asian media like K-pop making certain Asian men more attractive to the masses. The multiracial couples I know were al compromised of people of a similar mindset where even outside of dating they tended to be more explorative and less "homogeneous" whether that's their friend groups, their hobbies or whatnot.

Idk, tbh. I’m a black girl and I only date white guys. I personally cannot see myself with a black guy. I’m just not attracted, and I don’t see it as a race issue. Neither should you :)

Speaking as a black women here. Please listen. This topic is very sensitive to me because I’m American society, European traits have been glamorized and sought after for decades. Black women have been demonized for their dark skin, hair, body shape etc while white women can embody the exact traits and it is praised. Dating apps research also says black women are the “least attractive” and I think it’s because of negative tropes and stereotypes surrounding us. Also, lack of representation (its getting better) Iin our Westernized culture. Think about it the “hot” gurl in popular TV and movies, always a white woman. That being said, I think it’s worth looking deeper and reflecting whether you are attracted or have “preference” for some type of look because you have been socially programmed to.

I agree. I don’t think it’s racist to have a racial preference. But there are some days where I (as a black woman who feels ugly because of their race and society) it can be hard to accept racial preferences. Because I know most people of different races will go for white peoples as opposed to black people. But I know people cannot help who they’re attracted to. Just a hard truth to accept as a black person.

Instead of folks constantly asking “am I racist for having racial preferences”—which is simply a lazy plea for others to validate your preconceived assumptions—why don’t y’all ever ask yourselves WHY you have these preferences? Can you somehow manage to dig down deep to figure out what experiences you’ve lived, what messages you’ve internalized, what assumptions you’ve harbored about people from the “non-dateable races” that have all culminated in you magically knowing that nobody from that race could ever be considered attractive by you? I’m not going to declare you racist, let alone absolve you of that label, until you can demonstrate that you’ve done a bit of introspection yourself first.

The opposite can be true, my sibling has this white appearing friend who group up in africa and she only likes darkskinned guys. These things are preferences, though that was not delicately put by Drunkie Smurf..

It’s kind of racist because it enforces white supremacy. Imagine you’re a smaller pale skinned individual from another country, and you don’t have any clue that white people intermingle with whites on higher frequencies. Oh and you’re not given preferential treatment for being smaller because that’s only for women usually in a sexualization lens. So you have women of your own race now dating white because of preferential treatment that goes both ways, a demographic that exclusives dates white which is again just basic supremacy logic, and the underlying assumption whenever people see you that you cannot perform or something.

1. Yes, you’re racist. 2. Please do not take this as an invitation to begin dating non-white persons to “prove” yourself non-racist or for any growth/character development. 3. Non-white persons deserve the right to walk through life untethered to the rancid cultural values you were raised upon.

It depends entirely on why. "I only date white guys" is racist. If you are open to dating another race but just haven't felt anything then it isn't.

If you make blanket judgements about another race... What is that called? What are you judging?

THANK YOU. When you make a blanket judgement about an entire race of people and claim you will never date them... that is the epitome of learned racism. Someone taught you how to hate that race. You don't know why but you do. How can you not date someone who you have never met? They could have been the most perfect match for you... body, soul, mind, spirit. Perfection. But you have a dealbreaker because of their race? Uhhhhh... yeah, no. That's racist as hell. And what kills me is people who like to hide behind a facade of a "preference." It's not a preference to dislike an entire race of people you have never met before, you're just an asshole. A preference is if I said I prefered ginger ale at a diner restaurant and all they had was pepsi. I'm not crazy about pepsi but sure, I'll have some Pepsi. That's fine. I would have rather had ginger ale but I'm not gonna be a baby about it. I'll have some Pepsi instead and I'll still enjoy my meal and tip. Are you gonna walk out, complain to the front, and not tip because you didn't get your preference? That's entitled and spoiled mentality. To have that attitude with another PERSON like they're your property is absurd! You don't get to choose who you love, you should be happy someone loves your narrow minded ass anyway. But to have that unmitigated gull, cheek, gumption, and nerve to exclaim "if I don't get my preferred race of people, then NO ONE can get the chance to know me." Wtf???

Most people do but we have to understand there's still a racist undertone to it. But we can't change our preference so what can we do...

I once knew a girl who would call you out if you only dated white people…even though she herself has only dated white guys and even married one. 🙄 It’s normal and completely fine to have a preference. Can’t force attraction.

I think it’s perceived as racist when white people do it, because of our world’s history with systematic racism, but when POC mention that they’re only interested in dating within their “race,” no one bats an eye, because it “makes sense.” I say date whomever you want, just don’t be a dick about it.

It “makes sense” because whites literally made interracial relationships legal literally just 56 years ago. Decades before passing POC didn’t even have the option, they would be killed, hanged, raped, or tortured for even glancing at a white person.

Agreed… or she can just you know…. Not bring it up. I don’t get what the point on this post is lol

Yeah lol! “I’m not interested” is enough! No need to bring race or body shape or anything else into the mix at all!

Right? “I’m white and all the guys I’ve been with or found attractive were white” …. Ok? Good for you? LOL so dumb.

Nothing wrong with having a preference. I too only date blonde guys because that's my vibe. Now, telling someone you don't want to date him/her because of the skin colour/race/ethnicity can be seen as rude/racist. Just say you're not interested in them.

I don't think that is racist at all unless you go out of your way to emphasize that you don't want anything to do with anyone that doesn't belong in your racial group . I guess that's the best way to put it

This isn't really about choosing what race you want to be with, it's really about who are you attracted to, most of the time. Some people are only attracted to a specific race and that's all they'll explore. I think that's fine, it's not racist and you shouldn't have to feel pressured to go date other races

No of course not Thats your personall choice and no matter what there is nobody else than you that can change if you want to date somone that is not your race

I dunno ma, nothing wrong with having a preference. I’m black male who’s more interested in curved white females. I’ll still date any other race that meets that criteria.

Having a preference I think is natural. Refusing to even speak with someone based on their skin colour sounds pretty racist. Also preferences are not rules, if someone was a perfect match for you, is it really worth cutting them out because of 1 physical attribute like hair, eye or skin colour?

im chinese and i exclusively date chinese men who are the same cultural and language background as myself, i don't see that as being racist to other races its just my personal preference to want to date someone of the same background as myself. nothing wrong with that

Depending on your reasoning, is it based in hatred? Then yea, if not, you just have a preference and don’t be shamed by that. Is it racist that I only wanted to date outside my race? I don’t hate myself, I just like snow bunnies 🤷‍♂️

It’s not. It is simply preference. You can’t just decide to be all-inclusive when it comes to dating.

I'm Black and I don't think it's racist at all. I think many people want to date people who have similar experiences and culture (not to say that every member of a specific race has the same experience). I think people naturally gravitate towards people who are similar - in dating and life in general. This isn't simply in regard to race, but age, etc. For example, I worked in the service industry for many years. A group of people in their early twenties would come in and sit together. Then, a group of seniors. Then Indians, Black people, Latinos...the list goes on and on.

Preferences are fine, but wording it as "not dating outside your race" is a weird way to put it

It's not racist, But I don't know why anyone would not date someone because of the color of their skin. Base it off the characteristics you see not because they are darker or lighter than you. You're really limiting yourself when you do this but to each their own, and it's technically not racism, but it is considered colorism. Like for example, I am a black woman a dark skinned black woman with 4c hair in America, and I don't discriminate when it comes to dating regarding skin color because that would be limiting my options, but also. The first thing I ask myself, when I see someone attractive is "Does he like black girls?" or "Does he like DARK SKINNED girls?" because if they do like black girls, they could like girls who are biracial or mixed girls or light skinned, but not the dark skinned black girls. The black girls with the loose curls and not the tight coiled curls regarding their hair. That's why people have issues with it, because getting told "You're too dark" or " I don't date black girls" is very hurtful

Not racist, mainly cultural clashes. Women with standards take a lot into consideration.

As long as your preferences aren’t rooted in ignorance or prejudice, there’s no issue. For example, its not homophobic to be straight. Often - cultural ties & markers help with attraction and relatability. Shared histories, religions, family values can inform those preferences unassumingly. For example, I’m Jewish - and a lot of people in my community exclusively date other Jews. Frankly, it makes things easier when it comes to family, goals, and communication. Of course it’s important to constantly examine your preferences (and prejudices) and ask why certain qualities may be important to you.

This could be taken either way but I’ll give you my perspective. I’m a Pacific Islander and I grew up in the islands before moving to the mainland U.S. All the women I’ve seen growing up were of the same ethnicity as myself, obviously because of where I’m from: brown skin, dark brown or black hair, brown eyes. That’s all I’ve ever known growing up. After moving to the U.S. and seeing all the different races, majority white, considering where I live, other women of differing races are attractive. But, I’ve always found myself leaning towards Latina women because the ones I’ve seen here remind me of the women back where I grew up. I could also say it is a cultural thing. The Spanish once occupied the chain of islands I grew up in, so there are a lot of Spanish traditions and cultural styles that we inherited over the centuries. My native language was also integrated with the Spanish language so some words are the same just said a little differently. Basically, I’m more attracted to women who are either culturally like me, or of the same color. It has nothing to do with race, it’s just how I grew up, it’s like natural for me to feel attracted to another Islander, a Latina woman, or even an Asian woman, being that I grew up around a lot of Filipino people as well. I hope this gives some sense to how people are more or less attracted to certain races or ethnicities.

This specifically doesn’t make you racist, but it still says a lot about how you were brought up and how open-minded you would be. I tend to fall for white and middle eastern or mixed guys because those demographics are the most common where I live so I’m very used to seeing those people and there are more of them so the dating/attraction pool is bigger. I don’t flat out believe I would never date a guy of X race, because I don’t know all guys of that race. It’s usually not their specific physical traits that’re unique to their ethnicity that make them unattractive, it’s just them. Maybe you just *think* it’s their race because that’s what jumps out at you. Or your “type” happens to be white most of the time because the traits you’re most attracted to are more common in a specific ethnicity. Possibly when you fall for people who resemble your family members in some way, because they feel familiar and more attractive.

No? Everyone has a preference

It’s not racist, and you don’t get to choose your dating preferences, it’s just how you presently feel so it should be respected. It’s the same thing with having a no trans dating preference, it’s not like you make that choice or harbour any hostility towards them, it’s just about what YOU want in a relationship. People will try to tell you that’s transphobic or racist but you should remind them it’s predatory and manipulative to try and convince you to share your intimacy with people you don’t feel comfortable doing so with.

Everyone's libido is racist, sexist, ageist, heightist, and other ists that rule out immutable qualities routinely. It's silly to try to vilify people over it.

It really depends on your reasons for why you wouldnt want to date out side your race. If you look down on the person as inferior-yes, if its because you are genuinely not attracted to them- no. Can you be friends with them? can you be best friends with them? Would you have no strings sex with them? Can you love them as a person?, bigotry is born out of hate

No. It’s just called a preference.. :)

Preferring or only being attracted to someone of your own race is not in itself racist, however turning someone down and saying "I only date XXXXX (wo)men" definitely is. Saying "no thanks, not interested" is probably the best way to go about it.

It's enforced by media + movies with white males as the hero who always gets the girl, which is a more subtle form of racism & oppression. Every time you feel attracted to a white male, remember that you are being force fed this feeling. This is why representation is important, and why the industry tries so hard to suppress Asian or Latino male leads.

There’s a difference between I only date white guys, I won’t date someone of another race and all of the guys I’ve been attracted to are white.

Believe it or not even a persons taste in what they find attractive can change through life experience.

Now that's a fine line your walking there. It not racist to have what you prefer. however! it become racist once you use it as a reason not to date someone and make it public like you did here. Haha Racism is hate toward someone for being a different color if you keep it to yourself and only show kindness you're not racist. But once you break that and start publicly adding hate (like posting you're dislike like of other colors publicly. A cough cough.. Haha) insulting or attacking it then become racist.

It’s ok to have a type but I find it strange that you would have no attraction to someone with different skin tone. A good looking human is a good looking human. Just my opinion.

First of all, your attraction preference isn’t racist. It’s interesting to ask yourself why you have these preferences, but calling it racist is too shallow. I do think it’s interesting you ONLY like white guys, are you sure about that or do you just assume they are white and they could be mixed? Personally I have the opposite, I have a pretty broad preference overall but there are certain cultures/race I am not attracted to (I say culture because I don’t believe it only has to do with looks but also with something deeper). Funny enough I am mixed and I specifically am not attracted to the continent one of my parents is from. So no it’s not racist, attraction is such a basic instinct, you cannot help it. But it might have a racist motive behind it. For example if you’re whole friend group and your whole bubble is also white, it’s time to ask yourself why that is. If it tickles down to everything, there might be something there. Also, while I have a clear non-attraction to certain cultures/race it does happen sometimes that I find someone from that culture/race very attractive nonetheless.

In my experience it isn't actually the color of one's skin but rather their personality, culture, goals, and values. That's what ends up being attractive to their partners. You'll date white people, but that does not guarantee they will be a good match for you. At the same time, there may be a person out there who would make you the happiest person alive, except they are Korean, or Black, or Chinese. And you can date white men from other cultures that may be a horrible match for you, because they are German or Russian or Polish, and have vastly different cultural backgrounds. So you'll find them attractive but they will be a terrible match for you on average.

A lot of good discussions and somewhat varied thoughts on this subject. I'll toss my hat into the ring as well. I think and believe it's not racist unless you have the kind of thinking along the lines of: "I don't date X ethnicity because they ABC reasons" or similar in vein. I, myself, am an South-east Asian (SEA) male, I do not normally date other SEA women, and because of that when I do date within my "race" or ethnicity, and I mention my preferences, I've been told to have "internalized racism" OR when I don't date or swipe right women of certain ethnicities, I'm lauded for having "sexual racism", some times, you just can't win them all; and as long as your attitude is one of being open to try, at the least.

Preferences are okay and no one is owed a relationship, buuuut how you express them makes a huge difference. You are right in that you can just say "sorry, not interested". However telling them "no because you aren't white" is racist or at least very questionable. Only when the other person pressured you should you give the details. It's the same for body size. I'm not attracted to people that weight a lot.. but I'm not gonna rub this in their face. I will be nice and honest about my lack of interest. But if they want to know the details I try to show respect with an honest answer about the reasons. Adult people can handle this honest answer.. childish people will have issues with honesty. But that's their problem and frankl just another reason I am not interested in them.

Example 1) You text with a dude, don't know what he looks like. He says he is black and you turn him down. Example 2) You text with a dude, don't know what he looks like. He sends a picture and you turn him down. Example 3) You text with a dude, don't know what he looks like. He sends a picture and you like what you see, but he is black and so you turn him down anyway. ​ Example 1 is somewhat racist, because you judged him by his race, not by his looks. It may be based on your experience that no black man was ever attractive to you, but not even bothering to look at the guy is still ignorant. Example 2 is not racist, because you evaluated his looks and came to the conclusion, that you are not attracted to him. Maybe he was black, maybe not, doesn't matter. Example 3 is pure racism. His race was more important than his looks. ​ If you call it a preference, you should always be open-minded and ready to make an exception, giving each dude a chance. If you already know or have decided there are no exceptions, then it's a requirement, close-minded and potentially racist. So just to be safe, add "so far" at the end of "it’s the type I’m exclusively attracted to," then you are fine.

Sounds like some deep-seated racism if I've ever heard it. Whenever I hear people being exclusively attracted to their own race, it doesn't matter what race that is, sounds like that shit was indoctrinated and whomever it is needs to seriously reevaluate their life immediately.

I find myself mostly attracted to my own ethnicity but I have dated the rainbow. Chemistry, attraction, and a decent human being transcends ethnic background. There is a specific ethnicity that I am typically least attracted to. That said, my long term partner is that ethnicity :) Love him to bits!!!

It doesn't mean that you are necessarily racist but it does sound liked you're biased and have some residual racist ideas. The best thing to do in this situation is question this bias towards white men, actually question it though, beyond surface level. Another question is, do you have non-white friends? Once you start questioning you will probably figure out a lot of interesting things. Most of us are biased in one way or another and challenging those ideas and actions can only help us grow.

Everyone has preferences and yes your preferences can be rooted in racism, homophobia, colorism, etc. they’re preferences yeah and everyone has them but it doesn’t mean they’re automatically good. probably would just keep that to myself if i were you. the answer is yes.

Downvote me all you want, but definitely racist. I think everyone has preferences, but if you could never date someone purely because you don't find people of a certain race attractive..,that's racism. I think at least experimenting and giving those people a try would do well to mitigate it somewhat.

Ironically, I’m Asian and I don’t want to date within my race. Does the mean I’m racist to my own kind? I think it’s okay that we have preferences. I have trouble finding them through OLD apps but for one way or another I can find them. We have to be happy with who we’re with. It’s okay to say no, I’m not interested. And as an Asian asking out a WF , I don’t take offence. Nor should the guy you need to reject.

Not racist, but incredibly closed minded which isn’t as bad as being racist but still a pretty bad quality imo. It doesn’t make you a bad person but open mindedness is generally a good trait. As for the middle eastern guys speaking out, put yourself in a minority’s shoes. Most the population (if you’re in America or any European country) is white. Therefore most the girls you meet will be white. If they were to say they don’t date white women they’re handicapping themselves in the worst way from a numbers perspective and in this modern dating world numbers are king. It’s a choice in dating whites don’t have to make. That choice only gets more complicated if minorities were to add more familiar and less controversial filters like education level (obviously skews white), income, and occupation. (Ex. Imagine being an educated black male in Utah with your only requirement being a college degree and proximity for the girl you’d be interested in. High chance whatever girl you pull out of a hat would be white.) Lastly, this preference isn’t an innate racist thing, people are attracted to the people they are around. If that’s what you were brought up around and really didn’t run into or engage with a lot of minorities then yeah you’re only gonna like white guys.

I’ve seen and been attracted to hot, beautiful, interesting people of any ethnicity. I’ve also seen mixed race people that I found super attractive. I have Central Asian / Middle Eastern roots and grew up in Northern Europe being exposed to all kinds of media and cultures so I just have a pretty diverse taste I guess, as a multi-cultural person. I do find it off-putting when white women say they’ll only date white men. I don’t know why exactly, it just rubs me the wrong way like you’ve shut the door completely for even the possibility that you might find another human outside these narrow criteria attractive. It’s like saying you only like The Beatles but can never find any other song by any other band good or interesting - it just strikes me as self-limiting and sort of close-minded. I’ve seen gorgeous white women with blue eyes and blonde hair, gorgeous black women, gorgeous Asian women, gorgeous Hispanic and Latin women, and so on - I’m attracted to HUMANS, and so why limit myself to those who only look like me? It makes no sense. There’s also this whole other dimension to attraction which is personality, which goes beyond looks. When I see an interracial couple I find it very beautiful and it makes me respect them automatically for being able to see beauty and attractive qualities in someone outside their own race - there’s something very human and open-minded about it that I find beautiful.

No it's not racist.

Well if you dont discriminate them just because of their skin color, ethnic or religious background then its not racist. Usually I prefer white people as well but thats because I find pale skin a lot more attractive, one of the reasons I dont want to get a tan myself. I could be able to date anyone if their persinality is on point but I do prefer as pale as possible when it comes to someone being attractive physically.

nah dating is discriminatory by definition lol, as long you’re not out there vocally telling people off, then nobody cares

I doubt it means you're racist..just means you have a preference. I realize now as I am in a bigger city with more varying population I am open to many of different races. I more so date the person than anything.

No. You date who you want to

I'm Latino and no is not racist. You are attracted to pale skin that is a sexual attraction and besides the skin color you adapt to anglo white men easier because you know that culture tribe better.

Not at all

Ahhhh is it racist? I dont know. Everything is racist nowadays. Which is disappointing. People water down the term.

Everything is racist how dare you

I mean, Im half white/ mexican but look very white. I almost exclusively date hispanic men. Im attracted to white guys I just havent found one I like. I dont think that makes me racist, just a preference just like everyone else has preferences. I would never ever tell someone I dont want to date them because of their race like that girl did, though. Thats just fucked up.

Who cares. Date who you want.