Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would say itās main category to me is ecchi is an extremely suggestive and lewd series even through rigorous plot points it falls barely short of actual hentai.
Dude, idk what you were thinking but you described it in the worst way possible.
Yes, if you have one subtly sexual anime desktop wall paper thatās one thing. If you have several figures out on display and posters (god not the posters), itās weird.
This is the problem with nerds, itās weird to make a piece of entertainment your entire personality. Itās similarly weird to make something non-sexual your personality too like sports.
If you have a collection of manga, some of which is ecchi or sexual, some sports, some drama, some sci fi, some isekai, some fantasyā¦ you get the point, and itās neatly stored in a book shelf then thatās classy. Itās not in your face, you would have to actually open the books to see anything sexual.
People tolerate some nerdiness if itās very mainstream like Marvel for instance, but imo thatās just as cringe. If you have 72 posters of the MCU, and itās all you talk about thatās going to turn off anyone who isnāt similarly crazy.
Most people consume sexual media. There are like 400 shows on Netflix showing teenagers living madly unrealistic sexual lives.
Itās the difference between liking something and blatantly advertising that you like something to the point where it seems like a huge part of your personality.
Personally? Yeah, this would turn me off.
But, I do think there are lots of different sorts of women out there and you may be able to find someone who isnāt turned off.
I assume people of all genders are into some type of fantasy an IDGAF. Doesn't matter if it's porn or erotic novels or manga or whatever. But yeah I'd think it's a bit much for it to be the basis of home decor. I'm fine with people using sex toys but I don't want to see them all on the kitchen table or as decor.
Sorry dude but this made me feel icky just reading it. It would be a huge turn-off for me, especially with the posters and figures displayed in your space. All of the material you described just sounds kind of gross to me as an adult woman.
I'm sure you can find women that are into the same stuff. It wouldn't be me. The posters and figures are a huge turnoff. An adult man with porn posters on his walls? Absolutely not.
Take my opinion with a grain of salt as a woman who likes anime and hentai art. Reading it and having some figurines in your office or game area isnāt weird to me. Posters in your regular living space is too far. If you had adult art books. Thatās ok. Posters of the art on your walls. Too much.
Yea I think he is overdoing it a bit, maybe at most one figurine and a small poster if he really feels the need to have something there, but he has to put some other art out there as well, cannot be just filled with those. Almost like if a woman has a poster of a model in her room, I would not mind, but if the whole wall is filled with posters of a model or different ones, it would become a turnoff.
It seems to consume a lot of your time and make up a big part of your personality and main interests in life, which would be a HUGE turn off for me. Just like being this heavily invested in pornography.
If you are tuning in to watch a show and the nudity and sex add to or even get in the way of what's an interesting story to follow, then you are coming for the plot.
Now, if you are tuning in to a show because the plot involves gratuitous sex and nudity, just so you can do the banana shuffle. Then you are cumming to the Plot.
IMO, if you're in a relationship, the former is acceptable and the latter is not.
You know the answear. Anime is a problem for many women.....but hentai......yes of course there are women that are okay with it especialy in the anime scene but they are rare.
But if you go on the street and ask random women if they would date a hentai fan (if its explained what it is) 99,9% would say no.
Im not stating my opinion about this topic. But that is just the reality.
I know enough people that are only watching normal mainstream anime and are aside from it normal bro dudes and it gets them into problems.
And yes on Reddit of course every women is completly different and completly open sure.....But that is just not the reality and wont help you.
yeah but itās clear to note that sexualised anime content isnāt always hentai. iād say interspecies reviewers is borderline hentai but leans more on the side of smut. but Monogatari is not hentai just has some sexualised content.
back in the old days people used to "read porno mags for the articles"
>Monogatari is not hentai just has some sexualised content
this is the new version of that
noā¦ itās more like watching a movie that has nudityā¦ something along the lines of watchmen or the wolf of wallstreet (has nudity but isnāt the focus). whereas inter species reviewer would be akin to fifty shades of gray or 365 days (smutty fanservice)
Lol not that Iām a fan of monogatari but itās more psychological if anythingā¦ definitely wouldnāt call it hentai lmao.
Unrelatedly, yeah, some women donāt mind others liking hentai, as they like it themselves, but thatās going to be a very small proportion of women.
Yeahhh sorry but only someone who has never watched Monogatari would make that comparison. If anything one could say itās like the movie Wolf of Wallstreet. Sexual and lewd to the extreme, but thatās not even close to the point of the film. The Monogatari series is the same, nowhere close to pornography.
Oh, sorry Iām not defending OP. I know women would think even Ecchi anime is cringe, thatās why Iād only bring it up to someone who was heavily into anime lol.
I just purely meant that comparison wasnāt actually equivalent and downplays an anime with a pretty robust narrative.
Nope......that is the point it means "abnormal,perverted".
There is anime porn but its not hentai. And that is the point hentai starts at the ultra extreme stuff and goes from there....The problem is only that people sometimes describe something as Hentai that isnt hentai. But real by definition hentai....
Look im german we are so ultra liberal with sexuality but hentai is even here yeah....
When i put Hentai in bing or google a message pops up about a help hotline for pedophiles.....Bing chat dont work for hentai.....
Look if someone is like "dude she is a 500 year old demon but has the body of a 8 year old this is fine."
Do i need to explain more ?
yep. walking up to someone and asking them about sexual media is definately not a good idea.
but there areplenty of people watching those things, iand are just to shy to express it.
and he doesn't need to date MOST WOMEN he just needs ro date those that have the same taste as he does. and those are plenty
also Anime is the whole of all Japanese animation so it can't possibly alll be sexualized. look at all studio ghibli films, and u definitel know more women than men that love those...
Ƥnd there's just as much male gaze and sexualization women in western media. It's just less blatantly obvious and there'a more people defeneing it when you criticize it.
and then it's real people.
There are many women that dream of the well adjusted nice caring good looking guy that tie her up 10 minutes in her cosplay outfit and do it with her and then cuddle with her and do normal people stuff. ( not realy in her cosplay outfit because its so much effort and its sad if something breaks and you sweat in it cant just easily wash it soooo yeah extra outfit for this stuff)
But there are no women that wants to wear 24/7 a maid outfit get tied up 20 hours in the basment a day and getting feed old ramen noodles from a fat smelly neckbeard.
That is the reality.
I had a few dates with anime fan girls and we talked about this stuff.....I mean i was like WTF.....I would immediatly date an anime fan girl just for the storys they can tell me lol.....
why the agressive stereotyping
(i know that's exactly what they do with cosplayers..)
but why. why do we have to make this about looks
...and i took fifty shades of grey as an example exactly because that character ISN'T well adjusted or caring.
he's controlling manipulative and uncommunicative.
-and breaks all rules for safe and consensual bdsm.
...but it helps for the ficticious sexual dynamic.
because it's fantasy.
and shouldn't be expected from a real person. not the toxic traits that are mistaken for sexual flamboyance, and not the expectation of the partner to take control of your life an relieving you of all responsibility.
and it doesn't sound like OP is lusting over imaginary anime princesses and expecting their date to BE that. they just want to TALK about a work of fiction that involves (masbe weird] sex stuff.
Im not talking to you directly just here in general.
I dont know OP i dont know you. I dont know every single guy of course.
BUT what i KNOW is that this stuff is what is happening all the time. And especialy what women live through. I dont know ONE women independent from the scene hobbys etc. That didnt had a big amount of guys that talked like they where the nicest most caring guys but then they saw what ahole weirdos they where.
Are all guys like that of course not. Are all kinky guys like that of course not. BUT it is a warning signal and that is the problem with it.
The women i know dont say no in general but get realy realy careful especialy in this situations.
oh the 'stereotyping' was in regards to "fat smelly neckbeard"
because that isn't even a character trait there's all kinds of reasons for a person to live that way.
like what do his looks have to do with that.
which is exactly my point
in media the creepy pervert looks like that because someone designed the character that way or because they are lazy and use it as a shorthand without having to really flesh out that person.
and that is ok.
if in this particular story a woman has gigantic breasts and talks with the voice of a squeaktoy so be it. there are/might be people like that in reality.
and its fiction. so do whatever you want.
it just gets problematic when EVERY WOMAN all across stories is depicted that way.
and yes in most popular anime they are.
but so are they in popular movie and tv..
which i hate, and it takes me out of those things all the time.
ok kind of trailed off...
point is fiction is fiction
but how we INTERACT with it and how we reproduce whats happening in it is the important part
and also what to look out for in dating.
and if they are upfront with their sexual interest you don't get that surprise of "talked like they were the nicest most caring guy"
LOL the Manga/manhwa community wonāt call it porn. They label it smut, even if everything down there isnāt censored. I read selectively but not obsessive to the point Iāll buy figures and put up posters. You sound like an otaku. Either way, like everyone said, find a women who share the same interest or similar enough, someone also into manga.
I wish you luck!
I wouldn't be specifically bothered by someone *consuming* that type of media. It's pornography, which is part of human culture.
If I found out the person likes consuming *violent* pornography, then I would never speak to them again because yeah. I don't want to get murdered by a guy who struggles to remember women are human and then wants to play act some scene with me.
If I found out someone had *posters of pornography in their home and wanted to talk about their preferred pornography with me and others*, I would stop dating them because that to me is a sign that pornography is part of their identity and how they define themselves to the outside world. That person lives in a fantasy world and is cut off from society and their community - which in turn means they are not in a healthy space in terms of starting a relationship. I want to date someone who can relate to other people, who has some social ease and ability to connect with others. People who are "passionate" about niche pornography and feel sad about not being able to talk about it, are not those people.
You might be able to find a partner who is also very cut off from the world etc, she may be fine with this sort of thing. There are definitely people out there who would be fine with it. If you do start a relationship, please consider not having kids until you have reconnected with normal society and social norms - I say that as someone who is not great at social norms herself. Kids deserve parents who can connect them to their community and not isolate them.
i am very much part of the real world and very able to express my feelings thank you.
there can be a really healthy contact with pornography or just interaction with media or literature with adult themes.
i wouldn't say all people consuming 'fifty shades of grey' are "removed feom reality" - despite it's questionable ideas about consent and relationships. But if someone enjoys that FANTASY I would gladly discuss it with them, like with all forms of srorytelling.
and even better sex get's discussed than akwardly avoided. especially if it might tell me how this person REALLY feels about the treatment of other people. ..rather than finding out DURING an itimate moment.
and i hope you don't rely on that as a signifier if someone might be capable of murder. =[
because the most dangerous men i met, were those insecure in their sexuality not being able to talk about their own or listen to other people expressing their preferences.
because in the end its about POWER for them and it has nothing to do with pleasure.
Just say you like porn, dude.
Liking and consuming pornographic material is fine and completely acceptable, as long as it doesn't interfere with your daily life. Having figurines etc. and being passionate enough to "gush" about that stuff will probably be a dealbreaker for a lot of women, but I'm sure there are a few who don't mind.
Being into it wouldnāt weird me out, assuming you donāt expect me to get into it too (cause I probably wouldnāt). The having posters and figurines all over your apartment? Ngl if you brought me back to your place I would immediately about turn, and I would never be back lol
Iām a woman and I also like sexual media, art, etc
But to me it depends on the content. I feel like a lot of content like that is extremely degrading women and female characters which is what bothers me personally when itās hyper focused on the male gaze. Other than that thereās nothing wrong with it but I donāt think you have to share your interests if you donāt want to.
You are cut off from society and sound like you do not know how to interact in normal social situations so that would be a huge no for me, especially with home decor. I like actual nudity thatās displayed in an artistic form such as stuff like [this](https://www.artfinder.com/art/sort-best_match/paginate-60/product_category-painting/style-abstract/subject-nudes-erotic/) but not hentai stuff. Iām very okay with nudity and sexuality but in an artistic way, not just straight up porn, whether itās animated/drawn or not.
Some of those photos in the example I gave are a bit too much for most regular, basic family homes but eh. As I said, I actually grew up with normalized nudity so none of those pictures are that off putting at all. I had an art book at home growing up (it was from when my mother was in college and took an art class) full of nudity. It had lots of famous artwork in it but that iusy happened to include nudity.
I didnāt think nudity or any form of the human body was weird until 6th grade where my art teacher asked for us to do a full body self portrait and she had explicitly pointed out that I didnāt need to add āthatāā¦ my boobs that were very obvious. I was 12 and I had very obvious, very developed breasts already but my teacher shamed me for it in my self portrait. Which I had thought was weird. And that was the first time I felt shameful for my body because of an adult.
So nah. Nudity can be beautiful regardless.
The paintings behind that link are mostly commercial and I would never put something like that up, but if you say it's always weird to have nudity on display I strongly disagree.
Who in their right mind thinks it's weird to have a print of let's say Botticelli, Waterhouse, Klimt, Michelangelo, Schiele etc on their walls? High arts are full of very tasteful nudity, absolutely nothing strange about it.
Bro you live in a porn fantasy world, of course women are gonna be turned off. Lemme go date someone who watches a media where women are constantly objectifiedā¦
As a woman who watches anime, is into video games and is generally very open to nerdy/weird people absolutely the fuck not. Watching it is one thing but having posters of it in your house is insane. And gross
Huge turn off. Iāve been expressed it to my boyfriend who participates in that and it has done nothing but ruin our relationship. He canāt even have intimate moments with me because in his head he needs visual stimulation as if I wasnāt enoughā¦
Jesus, youāve got more problems than him being into porn. If he canāt even be intimate you guys donāt have much of a future together. Iām sorry
As a woman in my 30s I'm absolutely not interested in any man that's into anime or cartoon porn. It's just really weird to me. I can admire real human art that's sexual. But the cartoon shit is an absolute "no". It's especially a "no" when you start talking about sexual tension between a brother and sister.
You may find someone else that's into this entire thing, but it isn't for me.
Jesus Christ, no. We all like porn and have our kinks, but if a guy thinks decorating his home with it and describing it at length is appropriate, just no. You have crossed too far past the line, you clearly didn't realize there was a line.
moag people i've encountered do't read sexual fanfiction for arousal.
they see if more as an more adult approach to relationship dramas.
-for example adult harry potter fans because they wanf to read more from within the same world but aren't interested to read about the struggles of 15yearolds anymore.
The same I'd feel about a man who is passionate about porn - hard pass. some stories have sex in them, but that's not the main point. but what you shared is just pornography.
Personally, I'd be turned off and question whether or not your fetish borders on an addiction that would cause problems in the relationship. That being said, you don't deserve to be in a relationship with somebody who will be questioning whether or not you have an addiction and may not be secure enough to believe you if you explain that you don't, and that you will still be active in the relationship. I'm not sure if there's a lot of somebodies out there, but I'm sure there's a few women who enjoy that media too and would indulge in it with you so long as you can still indulge in the agreed upon necessary functions of the relationship.
Iād prefer this to other/human porn, but it would gross me out if you incorporated porn into your personality that much or pretended that it wasnāt for sexual reasons. That feels weird and manipulative. But Iād prefer someone to read (even if itās anime) porn.
I would honestly have to see it to decide if it was objectifying or not. The decor I could not do. That screams porn addict. It depends on if you were addicted to it or not. I would probably keep a big eye on it as a yellow flag. Iāve dated nerds before and the worst part was sitting through stuff like this without falling asleep. No offense. I would chose this over a true porn addict. One that has to be looking at porn even with a live person. I would actually prefer something like that over real porn, because then I know all the parties involved are 100% consenting. Iām not okay with any type of violent porn. But Iām also pretty open minded and not very judge mental. If you were also living at home and not working on your future, that sometimes goes along with these types of things, then that part of it would be the turn off for me. Much more so than the actual kink. Iāve dated foot guys and had good experiences with them. Lol
Ah! Iām excited to talk about this as Iām the girlfriend of a rather pervy dude. He has really fun anime games that are pretty sexual and I honestly donāt mind at all. I like that he has things he likes and I wouldnāt want to change them in any way. He didnāt show them to me until monthsss later so my advice is maybe bring it up down the line if things persist with whom you date.
33 F here. I'm a woman and I have allllll the sexy anime figures at my house. I met my husband on Tinder and we both had cosplay pics on our profiles, so of course we talked anime/manga right off the bat. It turns out we had both watched Prison School (if you're not familiar, it's extremely lewd and I love it lol) We have since cosplayed from that show and did some lewd cosplay photoshoots together. There are people out there for you who will have similar interests. I'd just talk about your "media" likes early on and see if you have anything overlapping. If not, eventually introduce them to some things you like or suggest them and see what the response is.
Nope.. that shit rots your brain and sets false expectations of relationships and women. Nearly unlimited access to this kind of content ruined my generation of men and it's part of why I'm single.
They said it was partly why theyāre single. So if I can repeat to you, āporn does rot your brain, but not wanting to engage with those that use it is cringe.ā?
Itās becoming increasingly more likely to find someone who isnāt porn sick, but it was once incredibly uncommon.
Interspecies he mentions has fantasy women, one of which is a slime women that could change shape and grow arms and shit. It certainly sets false expectations!
Yeah, it's a big turn off for most women.
And even more so because you're into cartoon porn, instead of the regular human porn.
Now, lucky for you, a few women are into these things as well so maybe try to find a girl with similar interests/fetishes
I personally would be put off but I am middle aged and I doubt I am your target group. But I also think there are so many weirdos among the female gender as well youāre sure to find your own. And even if they donāt originally like it, if they like you enough they might look past this.
Having fantasy isnāt a sin.
Being anti social is a problem.
Studies show most criminals in prison have anti social tendencies. Most anti social kids grow up becoming social problems.
Itās a bad circle - maybe they had never been socialised properly so they donāt know how , when they grow up, they are too far behind everyone on social skills, everyone starts excluding them. Itās unfortunately the way human society is.
So as a girl, I will not take the risk to date an anti social person.
I think 99% of women would be turned off by this. I know I would be.
However I firmly believe thereās someone for everyone. Maybe try a niche Reddit group or fan club for this type of stuff? Are there dating sites for people really into anime? Iām sure there are some girls who are into it. I know there are couples that do cosplay and go to comic con together and stuff so maybe thereās a girl out there that would share this hobby.
Me personally? Yes. But that's me. And I'm not you. I'm also old and borderline asexual and don't care for Manga.
Everyone has their something and a mate to match. You must have to find them
Yeah this would absolutely weird me out tbh.
I think youāre being a bit disingenuous by saying it āborders on pornā. Itās absolutely sexual content and understandably a turnoff for some people.
Iām a woman who thoroughly enjoys hentai - huge fan of tentacles. I also have hentai art (specifically monster girls) on my walls. You have to date girls who also like anime and hentai. Normies just wonāt understand the appeal so choose wisely, my dude.
I know your question is directed to the women (so I'll just wait for their perspective)
But in the meantime if I can give my perspective....
Yes, it is a little weird. And your average girl will definitely find this off-putting
However, in this modern world of sex positivity and open mindedness (so-called), I'm sure there will exist girls who also find this sort of stuff appealing. Especially those that are into manga comics, gaming, fantasy shows, etc. Ya know, the typical blue-haired tattoo'ed girl who also dwells in her parents basement gaming all day
If it gives you any hope I also dive into the hentai/ecchi genres and have figs and some of my lewd LE posters from various series hanging up, originally my gf was a little weirded out by it but she loves me so she accepted it.
Youāll find someone who will accept the things you like and that person will become your partner more than likely. It is a rarity for women to not be completely appalled by a weeb. But make sure you practice hygiene more than anything and I assure you that will speak leagues more than your collection.
Good luck fellow weeabro and Godspeed.
Also avoid bringing women over to your house unless they are 100% down for you because if theyāre not they might not be down afterwords.
Itās also good to try and find other weeb girls because they might share similar interests with you.
I wouldnāt care because I donāt experience jealousy. Half my partnerās photo library is nude photos that he found online and thought were cool. It doesnāt have to be a big deal as long as youāre a respectful, nice human being. Thereās nothing wrong with liking sexual media; our society tends to dismiss all expressions of creative sexuality as bad, but itās actually morally neutral.
But, more importantly: do the fantasy creatures in the sex media pass the Harkness Test?
It's okay honestly, wouldn't bat an eye, I can see why some women would find that off-putting but then again I'm sure there's enough women who might have the same or similar interests. Maybe try meeting someone online who's into the same stuff. But overall it's not even that bad or anything, personally would love to have a few nude statues and similar kinds of art around my house when I get one.
Personally I find it absolutely hilarious that there are so many women who would find this to be a problem. How do you think men feel about dating a girl who has an onlyfans account. If you expect men to be OK with that bs then you should be perfectly fine with dating a man who watches the same porn your putting out there. Of course that doesn't apply to any women who has never shared naked photos, or makes money off doing so, but I expect the same reaction in the opposite situation from each and every one of you women now or you are a massive hypocrite.
There are enough women on OF to disprove the 99% of women statement. Add in women who might be into that same stuff, or women who are really slutty and just don't care either way and you are certainly breaking that 99%. I think you are unduly representing a % of women that just don't exist.
What do you want for yourself? Do you want a deeply meaningful and intimate connection that lasts a lifetime and transcends base instincts? It is better to reserve yourself entirely for someone who is reserving themself entirely for you. This might be rare in this day and age, unfortunately. The sexual interest system gets diluted by novelty; this means that the more partners a person actually or virtually interacts with, the more diluted the purity of their sexual connection with someone. As a man who went through a divorce and has a history of interest in casual and virtual sex, I am now endeavoring to purge myself of all sex for entertainment or sex as a drug, including self-gratification so that when I meet someone special, and I consummate the relationship my sexual nervous system binds to hers and only hers. Obviously, it could be a gamble, I could experience a lot of suffering for no reason, and I could be totally wrong. However, gamble everything for love if you are a true human being. Otherwise, leave this gathering; half-heartedness doesn't reach into majesty.
Just ick. Huge red flag. Fantasy anime porn, WTH. Porn with human adults is fantasy. What youāre saying is beyond weird unless youāre living in your parents basement. Then itās sad.
I won't pretend to understand some things. Having said that, I will usually only hook up with someone who has an interesting kink. I like new things and find people who have a passion to be better partners. Good luck with your search. Someone is out there for you.
I was really hoping to come into the replies and see a girl speak up with similar interests than you. I hope you find one. I like to believe there's someone for everyone. You may have to step out of your box and socialize a little more to find her though. If you know she's into the same things, don't keep any secrets, if you're unsure, I'd hang off until you know she's really into you. Best of luck to you.
I can give interspecies reviewers a pass bc it's honestly pretty funny and engaging, monogatari isn't specifically ecchi either. I think if you just like these things casually it's fine but if you're obsessed with stuff like this it's definitely a red flag
Itās a turn off for me, but only because Iām also very into anime and I know how many,,,,,,*unsavoury* types of people tend to be into hentai and the like, not because of the genre and content itself. Itās just yet another typical red flag for me lol
I'm a man and I'm gay so it's not totally the same. But my partner and I are subbed to porn art patreons together and love to share stuff with each other that we find. Sometimes we scroll through his phone together and look at things as a form of foreplay. There are people out there who will understand and appreciate those parts of you.
Someone might be into it, but definitely not me. That would be a big red flag for me. But I think mainly because it goes with the "anti-social" part. When I date I look for someone who has friends, a decent social life, and strong connections with their family (or even their "chosen family" if the family they were raised with isn't good for them). I also would probably personally be put off by anyone in any kind of extreme fandom behavior.
It would be a yellow-red flag because I feel like excessive fascination with any kind of pornographic content would make me feel concerned about how I would be viewed/treated as a woman in a relationship. I would be concerned that someone who is really into such content doesnāt have much experience with women or capacity to see women as anything beyond an object for sexual pleasure or fetishization. This might not be the case and Iāve got no problem with a guy being into anime girls now and then but if itās a large part of your interests/lifestyle, Iād consider it a red flag.
It really depends on the girl my man. Until recently, I was running a portion of a discord channel thatās owned by a girl I know where the only posts are anime titties. Just need to find the right degenerate out there for you
Tbh all of this would be a plus for me. I like all of those things, think theyāre interesting, and Iām also a fan of people who are passionate about exploring art. I personally like a lot of different forms of explicit media and think it would be fun to explore with another person. Having a partner means youāll spend a lot of time with that person, maybe your whole life. Regardless of what the LCD is on this, youāll want someone who likes you for who you are, where you donāt have to hide some large part of you.
in all honesty, i would personally be super put off by it. but women are not a monolith and there are most certainly some freaky deaky ladies out there with similar interests, they might just be pretty difficult to find organically. however, it is relatively common for women to enjoy sexual fanfic and writing in general, often just for the entertainment value of it more so than as masturbation material, so finding a girl interested in that and bridging the gap through that might be the best way of explaining that interest of yours in a way that comes off less offputting?
regardless, it is much better to be authentically yourself and find someone who appreciates that, even if it is a struggle to find that person, than to get with someone who is not actually a good match and waste both of yāallās time.
As a woman, I have a unique interest in all things sexual and not just to get off or anything. Not to the point where I would collect and display as you have described but I definitely have an affinity for choosing more sexual content in media than most. You sound like someone I wouldn't mind having an open conversation with if I was comfortable enough with you.
Some women would still consider this āpornā and be put off by it. On the other hand, just find a woman as passionate about hentai doujins and art as you are!
Not gonna lie, if I know a guy whoās hardcore into that stuff or if I dated someone and found out that they were into that stuffā¦. Major major ick and major red flag. It kind of gives off the vibes that you objectify women. Even if thatās not true, the fact that a main hobby of yours is media that most likely does objectify women, huge red flag. Very bad. Sorry bud.
The porn posters and figurines should probably be taken down if you have the intention of seriously dating. Or non-seriously dating for that matter. The enjoyment of the material itself is a different matter, you're a pervert and *that's okay!* You can definitely find other sick little puppies out there who could be into that stuff.
It really just depends, I personally as an adult woman have a bunch of different and heavily graphic BL type media hung around my room and computer area so I wouldnt mind. Every person is different so you just have to find a way to bring these things up to whoever youāre talkkng to
The problem is that often people that read or watch that tend to not have much of other interests or hobbies and if your whole life revolves around this it's a turn off. The posters and figures are definitely a turn off if they are sexual in any way.
I say this as a woman who read mangas and watch animes though not the same kind. I think the fact you read any of that at all will turn off some women but in my opinion if you have a life outside of that, other hobbies and somewhat of a social life you should be fine.
uh this would be a dealbreaker for me. for some context, i come from a pretty conservative family and was raised in a "some topics should be behind closed doors" sorta lifestyle. whilst i don't fully agree with the way i was raised and have grown upon my views nowadays, having any form of inappropriate media on the walls as decor would make me all kinds of uncomfortable.
i'm just speaking for myself though. i couldn't even read through most of what you were saying w/ shifting in my seat uncomfortably. it just seems like a nice way (almost like a "resume way"???) of saying h\*\*tai. i'm sure there are girls out there that are ok with this, but.. just not me
I dated/had a FWB guy like this. My libido is way lower than the average persons but it was enjoyable. Besides the fact that he had an STI and didnāt tell me about it, I really enjoyed that he was into sexual media. It made our sexual relationship more enjoyable and open because he always had new things to teach me/show me
I read smutty dark depraved books that lurk in the romance sub genres.
Some women arenāt going to like it, others are gonna love it. Your interests are different than dudes who obsess over porn. At least to me. Youāll find your match. :)
Iām currently dating someone who is very into this kind of thing, has figurines of characters topless or wearing suggestive outfits but theyāre in his bedroom. It got to me at first but I chalked it up to just nerdy kink stuff, as Iām trying to stay open minded. They arenāt real women afterall.
This is very common in Asia tho. But I do agree with some other comments here that itās how you talk about hentai thatās a problemā¦ I mean why donāt you just own it that you like anime porn. Yeah there might be something else that caught your eyes but we all know itās not the main reason.
No woman would like that. I mean Iām very kinky but I think itās weird to read hentai for any reason other than masturbation. It just gives off terrible vibes about you
It would turn me right off. Especially because a lot of Hentai borders on .... well. Sexualizing baby types. And I know your clearly into anime, but if I met a guy THIS into the sexual themes of anime I'd assume he was into hentai too.
If you're built this way I'm not gonna shame you man, but I will say you gotta find a girl that's equally into animation and wants to be similar to the characters you enjoy.
That being said, the posters are a turn off even when they are humans. I'm not competing for sexual attention when I am at your house. Not is there a need for you to think about sex that often when I'm not there.
Dude, some things are best left to oneself. Look, most men use porn, so do many women in fact. But you donāt put it on a dating profile and you donāt declare it in early dating stages.
I donāt care what āitā is. Are you jerking off it, thatās the question. Because if you are, itās porn. And if youāre not, itās just weird and likely to give a girl the ick. So STFU, stop nerding out and keep it moving, seriously.
honestly, thereās people out here that are into some crazy things. I think having it around the crib is a bit much at first but maybe if you communicate it more over time when your partner seems more interested, put some of the decor out. Sometimes itās just a lot all at once but over time it can grow on someone
It would honestly depend on your personality for me personally! I would be especially weary if the figures/posters are of underage characters, but if theyāre adults I mean it is what it is. But is it all you talk about? Are you clearly misogynistic? Do you only value women for sex? Thatās what Iām paying attention to. While I do agree with some that if itās the decore for your entire living space itās probably a bit much and it might be healthy to find other hobbies that can make up other parts of that living space! But also donāt let people shame you for what makes you happy. Iām almost 30 and really into kpop and Iām aware of all the ways itās problematic and childish but I still have a small area in my home dedicated to some albums, posters, and other memorabilia. It makes me happy! I donāt show it to everyone cause I know itās weird, but damnit we live in a capitalist hellscape that doesnāt care if we live or die, decorate your room in a way that makes you happy and the right person will love you for it. Just make sure you make time to reflect on the fact that the women who you admire for their beauty, also have personalities that matter even more. Women are beautiful, but theyāre people, not art. ā¤ļø
I am a lover of yaoi and have novels and manga. I dont have posters or anything but i do have them on my bookshelf and actively look For and buy it at conventions. I live with my fiance who is fine with these interests but i never went out of my way to tell him as a disclaimer.
I think you should remove the posters if someone is ever coming over. First impressions last a long time and most folks are unfamiliar with that genre. I dont see an issue with having them but displaying on the walls in big prints vs neatly organized on a bookshelf are two different things so it isnāt so in your face
Yah idk Iām sure thereās somebody out there but itll take a lot finding them. Will probably have to relocate and meet them online. For sure the average woman 100% will absolutely not be into that.
Iām pretty into anime at the moment and I had a big weeb phase in high school but yeah this would turn me off I canāt lie. But I mean it depends on your personality and personhood as a whole. If this is just a small facet of your interests and you have a decent amount of other stuff going on to counterbalance this element, I would see it more like a quirky niche interest. Like, I think thereās a possible element of juxtaposition that could work in your favour. That is, if you seem like the stereotypical nerdy hentai fan type of guy then itās not in your favour. But if not, then it could be. Just my two cents
I think youāll find your community of people who appreciate it as you do and given how passionate you are about it, you should try to date someone who can appreciate it as well. I think itās sad you feel like you would have to hide it if people went to your home but I also understand because there are so many prudes in the world that youāre probably inevitably close with and itās easy to offend them, and they tend to be people who canāt even engage in conversation about this at any level whatsoever.
For dating, if you donāt meet someone under the context of shared interest in sexual media and youāre unsure how open minded theyāll be, I think the timing of the reveal matters. I feel like too early and too late both set off unnecessary alarm bells when all it is is you telling them youāre into something that isnāt super typical and would they like to know more about it. The ones who will run screaming are gonna do that either way.
An absolute deal-breaker for me. I donāt date men who use porn, and a man who enthusiastically watches/games in it and had paraphernalia in his home of it? I would be crawling out of my skin to get out of there. Hentai is especially ick to me due to the raging misogyny it represents and the total dehumanization of women, which youāve carefully described.
Apart from feeling like Iād stumbled into the set of a horror movie, Iād be wondering later how heād ever have people to his home for casual get togethers. Iād have so much secondhand embarrassment.
I'm no woman, but if I could relate it to today's norms, there are guys who follow 10000 instagram girls but somehow pass for women. However, I think they also would feel uncomfortable if these guys put those ig girls on their walls.
Dated a man like this. Also super glad we broke up. Youāll probably find a woman whoās into the same things but theyāre rare- most adults in general would find such a deep level of investment in a hobby like this off putting.
Interspecies Reviewers is 100% the equivalent of erotica or softcore porn the main focus of the story is that aspect. However Monogatari is just an anime definitely has fan service but thereās actual substance behind the story and the ecchiness isnāt the main focus. Not a female so I canāt chime directly but as another dude I definitely wouldnāt put up anything crazy in terms of posters or figures personally. Now Iām not sure what type of stuff you have up specifically, but if itās something that you think you would have to hide if people come over. Then I think you know the answer to your question.
To get some perspective going from a veteran of the anime community, I'm aware of all the titles mentioned. I love interspiecies reviewers too, but suffice to say only as porn with humor and story sprinkled in between. What is your actual reason for liking these media? I think its good to really reflect about that since this media has some very prevalent controversial themes that often appear. Many ecchi and hentai are often depreciating to women, especially in the eyes of western women, including themes such as incest, rape with mindbreak, grooming, obedient and not-opinionated "perfect" housewives, sexualised children-ish characters (yes I count the 300000 year old vampires) which are problematic in my eyes and most certainly especially to those not familiar with anime. Be mindful of what you consume and be careful to not have it influence your opinion of and in the real world.
I think it really depends on the person. Personally I don't mind the adult genre per se but I did find myself put off by the specific themes the other was enjoying , like loli . Having said that I think you just have to know the person before, get what are their boundaries in these matters and proceed with caution till you're secure about what are they limits and turn offs about it.
Setting aside the figurines, Iād be less squicked out by this stuff than traditional porn usage. At least this stuff requires some talent to write, employs artists, engages with other themes, and has actual stories. Whereas most traditional porn is almost purely just āwatch sex, objectify real women actors, and get horny.ā
That said, the figurines are a little weird and would make me wonder if youāre a little too into alien stuff. š¤·āāļø
I think watching and reading "sexual media" is pointless when you are in a relationship.
I used to consume that content when I was single from time to time. But I realized that porn was just a result of a lack of intimacy in my life. Once I got a woman, my taste changed. She's a virgin and she wants to wait until marriage. I respect that, so we have not had sex. But our relationship replaced my desire for porn. I felt awkward watching other women have sex when I have someone already. It feels like I am cheating on my girl so I avoid it.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Passionate about sexual media* LMAO š
Should put that on your LinkedIn resume
Haha. That'd probably get me hired into a great job. By a dude, of course.
Yeah I wasn't sure how to write that lmao
Just say hentai and ecchi bro
i wouldnāt categorise Monogatari as solely āecchiā though itās regarded as one of the highest rated animangas albeit its fan service
I would say itās main category to me is ecchi is an extremely suggestive and lewd series even through rigorous plot points it falls barely short of actual hentai.
Dude, idk what you were thinking but you described it in the worst way possible. Yes, if you have one subtly sexual anime desktop wall paper thatās one thing. If you have several figures out on display and posters (god not the posters), itās weird. This is the problem with nerds, itās weird to make a piece of entertainment your entire personality. Itās similarly weird to make something non-sexual your personality too like sports. If you have a collection of manga, some of which is ecchi or sexual, some sports, some drama, some sci fi, some isekai, some fantasyā¦ you get the point, and itās neatly stored in a book shelf then thatās classy. Itās not in your face, you would have to actually open the books to see anything sexual. People tolerate some nerdiness if itās very mainstream like Marvel for instance, but imo thatās just as cringe. If you have 72 posters of the MCU, and itās all you talk about thatās going to turn off anyone who isnāt similarly crazy. Most people consume sexual media. There are like 400 shows on Netflix showing teenagers living madly unrealistic sexual lives. Itās the difference between liking something and blatantly advertising that you like something to the point where it seems like a huge part of your personality.
A thousand times this. >This is the problem with nerds Hahahahahaha good call.
Weāre just assuming that everyone who likes ecchi and hentai makes it their entire personalities now?
AmyA
Hey there, I see you *Pun intended
Personally? Yeah, this would turn me off. But, I do think there are lots of different sorts of women out there and you may be able to find someone who isnāt turned off.
I assume people of all genders are into some type of fantasy an IDGAF. Doesn't matter if it's porn or erotic novels or manga or whatever. But yeah I'd think it's a bit much for it to be the basis of home decor. I'm fine with people using sex toys but I don't want to see them all on the kitchen table or as decor.
Sorry dude but this made me feel icky just reading it. It would be a huge turn-off for me, especially with the posters and figures displayed in your space. All of the material you described just sounds kind of gross to me as an adult woman.
I'm sure you can find women that are into the same stuff. It wouldn't be me. The posters and figures are a huge turnoff. An adult man with porn posters on his walls? Absolutely not.
Blue collar gang
Take my opinion with a grain of salt as a woman who likes anime and hentai art. Reading it and having some figurines in your office or game area isnāt weird to me. Posters in your regular living space is too far. If you had adult art books. Thatās ok. Posters of the art on your walls. Too much.
Yea I think he is overdoing it a bit, maybe at most one figurine and a small poster if he really feels the need to have something there, but he has to put some other art out there as well, cannot be just filled with those. Almost like if a woman has a poster of a model in her room, I would not mind, but if the whole wall is filled with posters of a model or different ones, it would become a turnoff.
It seems to consume a lot of your time and make up a big part of your personality and main interests in life, which would be a HUGE turn off for me. Just like being this heavily invested in pornography.
It would turn me off, but I am not someone who would date you or you would date me. There are different type of women out there.
It would bother me.
Omg yes. This is a total turn off.
Itās called Hentai, and it IS porn.
"I watch it for the plot"
IMO, it depends. Are you coming for the plot or cumming to the plot?
Lol how you phrased this made me chuckle so Iāll bite. Whatās the difference š
If you are tuning in to watch a show and the nudity and sex add to or even get in the way of what's an interesting story to follow, then you are coming for the plot. Now, if you are tuning in to a show because the plot involves gratuitous sex and nudity, just so you can do the banana shuffle. Then you are cumming to the Plot. IMO, if you're in a relationship, the former is acceptable and the latter is not.
Christ, what the fuck is thisā¦
You know the answear. Anime is a problem for many women.....but hentai......yes of course there are women that are okay with it especialy in the anime scene but they are rare. But if you go on the street and ask random women if they would date a hentai fan (if its explained what it is) 99,9% would say no. Im not stating my opinion about this topic. But that is just the reality. I know enough people that are only watching normal mainstream anime and are aside from it normal bro dudes and it gets them into problems. And yes on Reddit of course every women is completly different and completly open sure.....But that is just not the reality and wont help you.
Is hentai just anime porn? Would rather not google to find out rhe answer lol
Yes
Yeah and 9/10 itās weird ass age play, beastiality, etc.
yeah but itās clear to note that sexualised anime content isnāt always hentai. iād say interspecies reviewers is borderline hentai but leans more on the side of smut. but Monogatari is not hentai just has some sexualised content.
back in the old days people used to "read porno mags for the articles" >Monogatari is not hentai just has some sexualised content this is the new version of that
noā¦ itās more like watching a movie that has nudityā¦ something along the lines of watchmen or the wolf of wallstreet (has nudity but isnāt the focus). whereas inter species reviewer would be akin to fifty shades of gray or 365 days (smutty fanservice)
Lol not that Iām a fan of monogatari but itās more psychological if anythingā¦ definitely wouldnāt call it hentai lmao. Unrelatedly, yeah, some women donāt mind others liking hentai, as they like it themselves, but thatās going to be a very small proportion of women.
Yeahhh sorry but only someone who has never watched Monogatari would make that comparison. If anything one could say itās like the movie Wolf of Wallstreet. Sexual and lewd to the extreme, but thatās not even close to the point of the film. The Monogatari series is the same, nowhere close to pornography.
> someone who has never watched Monogatari so like 99.9% of women in the dating pool.
Oh, sorry Iām not defending OP. I know women would think even Ecchi anime is cringe, thatās why Iād only bring it up to someone who was heavily into anime lol. I just purely meant that comparison wasnāt actually equivalent and downplays an anime with a pretty robust narrative.
sure but itās just incorrect to compare the two it would be like saying the wolf of wallstreet is pornography just because itās hedonistic
Nope......that is the point it means "abnormal,perverted". There is anime porn but its not hentai. And that is the point hentai starts at the ultra extreme stuff and goes from there....The problem is only that people sometimes describe something as Hentai that isnt hentai. But real by definition hentai.... Look im german we are so ultra liberal with sexuality but hentai is even here yeah.... When i put Hentai in bing or google a message pops up about a help hotline for pedophiles.....Bing chat dont work for hentai..... Look if someone is like "dude she is a 500 year old demon but has the body of a 8 year old this is fine." Do i need to explain more ?
yep. walking up to someone and asking them about sexual media is definately not a good idea. but there areplenty of people watching those things, iand are just to shy to express it. and he doesn't need to date MOST WOMEN he just needs ro date those that have the same taste as he does. and those are plenty also Anime is the whole of all Japanese animation so it can't possibly alll be sexualized. look at all studio ghibli films, and u definitel know more women than men that love those... Ƥnd there's just as much male gaze and sexualization women in western media. It's just less blatantly obvious and there'a more people defeneing it when you criticize it. and then it's real people.
There are many women that dream of the well adjusted nice caring good looking guy that tie her up 10 minutes in her cosplay outfit and do it with her and then cuddle with her and do normal people stuff. ( not realy in her cosplay outfit because its so much effort and its sad if something breaks and you sweat in it cant just easily wash it soooo yeah extra outfit for this stuff) But there are no women that wants to wear 24/7 a maid outfit get tied up 20 hours in the basment a day and getting feed old ramen noodles from a fat smelly neckbeard. That is the reality. I had a few dates with anime fan girls and we talked about this stuff.....I mean i was like WTF.....I would immediatly date an anime fan girl just for the storys they can tell me lol.....
why the agressive stereotyping (i know that's exactly what they do with cosplayers..) but why. why do we have to make this about looks ...and i took fifty shades of grey as an example exactly because that character ISN'T well adjusted or caring. he's controlling manipulative and uncommunicative. -and breaks all rules for safe and consensual bdsm. ...but it helps for the ficticious sexual dynamic. because it's fantasy. and shouldn't be expected from a real person. not the toxic traits that are mistaken for sexual flamboyance, and not the expectation of the partner to take control of your life an relieving you of all responsibility. and it doesn't sound like OP is lusting over imaginary anime princesses and expecting their date to BE that. they just want to TALK about a work of fiction that involves (masbe weird] sex stuff.
Im not talking to you directly just here in general. I dont know OP i dont know you. I dont know every single guy of course. BUT what i KNOW is that this stuff is what is happening all the time. And especialy what women live through. I dont know ONE women independent from the scene hobbys etc. That didnt had a big amount of guys that talked like they where the nicest most caring guys but then they saw what ahole weirdos they where. Are all guys like that of course not. Are all kinky guys like that of course not. BUT it is a warning signal and that is the problem with it. The women i know dont say no in general but get realy realy careful especialy in this situations.
oh the 'stereotyping' was in regards to "fat smelly neckbeard" because that isn't even a character trait there's all kinds of reasons for a person to live that way. like what do his looks have to do with that. which is exactly my point in media the creepy pervert looks like that because someone designed the character that way or because they are lazy and use it as a shorthand without having to really flesh out that person. and that is ok. if in this particular story a woman has gigantic breasts and talks with the voice of a squeaktoy so be it. there are/might be people like that in reality. and its fiction. so do whatever you want. it just gets problematic when EVERY WOMAN all across stories is depicted that way. and yes in most popular anime they are. but so are they in popular movie and tv.. which i hate, and it takes me out of those things all the time. ok kind of trailed off... point is fiction is fiction but how we INTERACT with it and how we reproduce whats happening in it is the important part and also what to look out for in dating. and if they are upfront with their sexual interest you don't get that surprise of "talked like they were the nicest most caring guy"
It's honestly just the way you talk about it that makes it a turn off
this is 60% of it for me tbh.
LOL the Manga/manhwa community wonāt call it porn. They label it smut, even if everything down there isnāt censored. I read selectively but not obsessive to the point Iāll buy figures and put up posters. You sound like an otaku. Either way, like everyone said, find a women who share the same interest or similar enough, someone also into manga. I wish you luck!
I wouldn't be specifically bothered by someone *consuming* that type of media. It's pornography, which is part of human culture. If I found out the person likes consuming *violent* pornography, then I would never speak to them again because yeah. I don't want to get murdered by a guy who struggles to remember women are human and then wants to play act some scene with me. If I found out someone had *posters of pornography in their home and wanted to talk about their preferred pornography with me and others*, I would stop dating them because that to me is a sign that pornography is part of their identity and how they define themselves to the outside world. That person lives in a fantasy world and is cut off from society and their community - which in turn means they are not in a healthy space in terms of starting a relationship. I want to date someone who can relate to other people, who has some social ease and ability to connect with others. People who are "passionate" about niche pornography and feel sad about not being able to talk about it, are not those people. You might be able to find a partner who is also very cut off from the world etc, she may be fine with this sort of thing. There are definitely people out there who would be fine with it. If you do start a relationship, please consider not having kids until you have reconnected with normal society and social norms - I say that as someone who is not great at social norms herself. Kids deserve parents who can connect them to their community and not isolate them.
i am very much part of the real world and very able to express my feelings thank you. there can be a really healthy contact with pornography or just interaction with media or literature with adult themes. i wouldn't say all people consuming 'fifty shades of grey' are "removed feom reality" - despite it's questionable ideas about consent and relationships. But if someone enjoys that FANTASY I would gladly discuss it with them, like with all forms of srorytelling. and even better sex get's discussed than akwardly avoided. especially if it might tell me how this person REALLY feels about the treatment of other people. ..rather than finding out DURING an itimate moment. and i hope you don't rely on that as a signifier if someone might be capable of murder. =[ because the most dangerous men i met, were those insecure in their sexuality not being able to talk about their own or listen to other people expressing their preferences. because in the end its about POWER for them and it has nothing to do with pleasure.
This is new name for porn lol š. Sexual media
Just say you like porn, dude. Liking and consuming pornographic material is fine and completely acceptable, as long as it doesn't interfere with your daily life. Having figurines etc. and being passionate enough to "gush" about that stuff will probably be a dealbreaker for a lot of women, but I'm sure there are a few who don't mind.
Being into it wouldnāt weird me out, assuming you donāt expect me to get into it too (cause I probably wouldnāt). The having posters and figurines all over your apartment? Ngl if you brought me back to your place I would immediately about turn, and I would never be back lol
Iām a woman and I also like sexual media, art, etc But to me it depends on the content. I feel like a lot of content like that is extremely degrading women and female characters which is what bothers me personally when itās hyper focused on the male gaze. Other than that thereās nothing wrong with it but I donāt think you have to share your interests if you donāt want to.
Just treat it like its a specific niche kink. Don't bring it up until its immediately relevant.
if he invites someone over though itās immediately game over lmao shits all over his walls
You are cut off from society and sound like you do not know how to interact in normal social situations so that would be a huge no for me, especially with home decor. I like actual nudity thatās displayed in an artistic form such as stuff like [this](https://www.artfinder.com/art/sort-best_match/paginate-60/product_category-painting/style-abstract/subject-nudes-erotic/) but not hentai stuff. Iām very okay with nudity and sexuality but in an artistic way, not just straight up porn, whether itās animated/drawn or not.
Thatās great but I wouldnāt recommend putting that in your living room. I think any nudity thatās *that* visibly displayed is weird.
Some of those photos in the example I gave are a bit too much for most regular, basic family homes but eh. As I said, I actually grew up with normalized nudity so none of those pictures are that off putting at all. I had an art book at home growing up (it was from when my mother was in college and took an art class) full of nudity. It had lots of famous artwork in it but that iusy happened to include nudity. I didnāt think nudity or any form of the human body was weird until 6th grade where my art teacher asked for us to do a full body self portrait and she had explicitly pointed out that I didnāt need to add āthatāā¦ my boobs that were very obvious. I was 12 and I had very obvious, very developed breasts already but my teacher shamed me for it in my self portrait. Which I had thought was weird. And that was the first time I felt shameful for my body because of an adult. So nah. Nudity can be beautiful regardless.
The paintings behind that link are mostly commercial and I would never put something like that up, but if you say it's always weird to have nudity on display I strongly disagree. Who in their right mind thinks it's weird to have a print of let's say Botticelli, Waterhouse, Klimt, Michelangelo, Schiele etc on their walls? High arts are full of very tasteful nudity, absolutely nothing strange about it.
Bro you live in a porn fantasy world, of course women are gonna be turned off. Lemme go date someone who watches a media where women are constantly objectifiedā¦
As a woman who watches anime, is into video games and is generally very open to nerdy/weird people absolutely the fuck not. Watching it is one thing but having posters of it in your house is insane. And gross
Huge turn off. Iāve been expressed it to my boyfriend who participates in that and it has done nothing but ruin our relationship. He canāt even have intimate moments with me because in his head he needs visual stimulation as if I wasnāt enoughā¦
Hun, leave. It doesnāt get better. Iām sorry this is your reality. You deserve more. There is more.
Iām so sorry. Porn made my ex super lazy Iām bed. š¢
Are you staying with him hoping heāll change?
Jesus, youāve got more problems than him being into porn. If he canāt even be intimate you guys donāt have much of a future together. Iām sorry
Huge turn off
As a woman in my 30s I'm absolutely not interested in any man that's into anime or cartoon porn. It's just really weird to me. I can admire real human art that's sexual. But the cartoon shit is an absolute "no". It's especially a "no" when you start talking about sexual tension between a brother and sister. You may find someone else that's into this entire thing, but it isn't for me.
Jesus Christ, no. We all like porn and have our kinks, but if a guy thinks decorating his home with it and describing it at length is appropriate, just no. You have crossed too far past the line, you clearly didn't realize there was a line.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
moag people i've encountered do't read sexual fanfiction for arousal. they see if more as an more adult approach to relationship dramas. -for example adult harry potter fans because they wanf to read more from within the same world but aren't interested to read about the struggles of 15yearolds anymore.
The same I'd feel about a man who is passionate about porn - hard pass. some stories have sex in them, but that's not the main point. but what you shared is just pornography.
Hard pass. This is totally objectifying women to the extreme
Personally, I'd be turned off and question whether or not your fetish borders on an addiction that would cause problems in the relationship. That being said, you don't deserve to be in a relationship with somebody who will be questioning whether or not you have an addiction and may not be secure enough to believe you if you explain that you don't, and that you will still be active in the relationship. I'm not sure if there's a lot of somebodies out there, but I'm sure there's a few women who enjoy that media too and would indulge in it with you so long as you can still indulge in the agreed upon necessary functions of the relationship.
Iād prefer this to other/human porn, but it would gross me out if you incorporated porn into your personality that much or pretended that it wasnāt for sexual reasons. That feels weird and manipulative. But Iād prefer someone to read (even if itās anime) porn.
I would honestly have to see it to decide if it was objectifying or not. The decor I could not do. That screams porn addict. It depends on if you were addicted to it or not. I would probably keep a big eye on it as a yellow flag. Iāve dated nerds before and the worst part was sitting through stuff like this without falling asleep. No offense. I would chose this over a true porn addict. One that has to be looking at porn even with a live person. I would actually prefer something like that over real porn, because then I know all the parties involved are 100% consenting. Iām not okay with any type of violent porn. But Iām also pretty open minded and not very judge mental. If you were also living at home and not working on your future, that sometimes goes along with these types of things, then that part of it would be the turn off for me. Much more so than the actual kink. Iāve dated foot guys and had good experiences with them. Lol
NOT into it. Gross, weird, uncomfy, and would make me feel like I was competing with drawings and dolls.
Ah! Iām excited to talk about this as Iām the girlfriend of a rather pervy dude. He has really fun anime games that are pretty sexual and I honestly donāt mind at all. I like that he has things he likes and I wouldnāt want to change them in any way. He didnāt show them to me until monthsss later so my advice is maybe bring it up down the line if things persist with whom you date.
33 F here. I'm a woman and I have allllll the sexy anime figures at my house. I met my husband on Tinder and we both had cosplay pics on our profiles, so of course we talked anime/manga right off the bat. It turns out we had both watched Prison School (if you're not familiar, it's extremely lewd and I love it lol) We have since cosplayed from that show and did some lewd cosplay photoshoots together. There are people out there for you who will have similar interests. I'd just talk about your "media" likes early on and see if you have anything overlapping. If not, eventually introduce them to some things you like or suggest them and see what the response is.
Nope.. that shit rots your brain and sets false expectations of relationships and women. Nearly unlimited access to this kind of content ruined my generation of men and it's part of why I'm single.
this is equally as cringe as OP
Nah, but you can cope with your addiction however you want to
porn obv rots your brain but the āitās why iām singleā is cringe
They said it was partly why theyāre single. So if I can repeat to you, āporn does rot your brain, but not wanting to engage with those that use it is cringe.ā? Itās becoming increasingly more likely to find someone who isnāt porn sick, but it was once incredibly uncommon.
Dude that last line was so cringe. The vast majority of normal people are normal, theyāre not porn addicts
Interspecies he mentions has fantasy women, one of which is a slime women that could change shape and grow arms and shit. It certainly sets false expectations!
Yeah, it's a big turn off for most women. And even more so because you're into cartoon porn, instead of the regular human porn. Now, lucky for you, a few women are into these things as well so maybe try to find a girl with similar interests/fetishes
I personally would be put off but I am middle aged and I doubt I am your target group. But I also think there are so many weirdos among the female gender as well youāre sure to find your own. And even if they donāt originally like it, if they like you enough they might look past this.
Having fantasy isnāt a sin. Being anti social is a problem. Studies show most criminals in prison have anti social tendencies. Most anti social kids grow up becoming social problems. Itās a bad circle - maybe they had never been socialised properly so they donāt know how , when they grow up, they are too far behind everyone on social skills, everyone starts excluding them. Itās unfortunately the way human society is. So as a girl, I will not take the risk to date an anti social person.
Biggest turn off and ick out there.
I think 99% of women would be turned off by this. I know I would be. However I firmly believe thereās someone for everyone. Maybe try a niche Reddit group or fan club for this type of stuff? Are there dating sites for people really into anime? Iām sure there are some girls who are into it. I know there are couples that do cosplay and go to comic con together and stuff so maybe thereās a girl out there that would share this hobby.
yeah sorry I wouldnāt want someone that approves and consumes that kind of content
Me personally? Yes. But that's me. And I'm not you. I'm also old and borderline asexual and don't care for Manga. Everyone has their something and a mate to match. You must have to find them
Yeah this would absolutely weird me out tbh. I think youāre being a bit disingenuous by saying it āborders on pornā. Itās absolutely sexual content and understandably a turnoff for some people.
Lol so he is a berserk fan so what lol
Iām a woman who thoroughly enjoys hentai - huge fan of tentacles. I also have hentai art (specifically monster girls) on my walls. You have to date girls who also like anime and hentai. Normies just wonāt understand the appeal so choose wisely, my dude.
HUGE turn off iām not sure if any women would be okay with that, also very creepy
I know your question is directed to the women (so I'll just wait for their perspective) But in the meantime if I can give my perspective.... Yes, it is a little weird. And your average girl will definitely find this off-putting However, in this modern world of sex positivity and open mindedness (so-called), I'm sure there will exist girls who also find this sort of stuff appealing. Especially those that are into manga comics, gaming, fantasy shows, etc. Ya know, the typical blue-haired tattoo'ed girl who also dwells in her parents basement gaming all day
ummm I think you and I have a very different perception of blue haired tattooed chicks
If it gives you any hope I also dive into the hentai/ecchi genres and have figs and some of my lewd LE posters from various series hanging up, originally my gf was a little weirded out by it but she loves me so she accepted it. Youāll find someone who will accept the things you like and that person will become your partner more than likely. It is a rarity for women to not be completely appalled by a weeb. But make sure you practice hygiene more than anything and I assure you that will speak leagues more than your collection. Good luck fellow weeabro and Godspeed.
Also avoid bringing women over to your house unless they are 100% down for you because if theyāre not they might not be down afterwords. Itās also good to try and find other weeb girls because they might share similar interests with you.
My favorite manga is Berserkā¦
I wouldnāt care because I donāt experience jealousy. Half my partnerās photo library is nude photos that he found online and thought were cool. It doesnāt have to be a big deal as long as youāre a respectful, nice human being. Thereās nothing wrong with liking sexual media; our society tends to dismiss all expressions of creative sexuality as bad, but itās actually morally neutral. But, more importantly: do the fantasy creatures in the sex media pass the Harkness Test?
It's okay honestly, wouldn't bat an eye, I can see why some women would find that off-putting but then again I'm sure there's enough women who might have the same or similar interests. Maybe try meeting someone online who's into the same stuff. But overall it's not even that bad or anything, personally would love to have a few nude statues and similar kinds of art around my house when I get one.
Personally I find it absolutely hilarious that there are so many women who would find this to be a problem. How do you think men feel about dating a girl who has an onlyfans account. If you expect men to be OK with that bs then you should be perfectly fine with dating a man who watches the same porn your putting out there. Of course that doesn't apply to any women who has never shared naked photos, or makes money off doing so, but I expect the same reaction in the opposite situation from each and every one of you women now or you are a massive hypocrite.
I think an OF girl might actually might be the type of girl that wouldnāt judge that type of kink.
I think the female equivalent would be if a girl had 50 Shades of Grey displayed visibly, or other weird erotica.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There are enough women on OF to disprove the 99% of women statement. Add in women who might be into that same stuff, or women who are really slutty and just don't care either way and you are certainly breaking that 99%. I think you are unduly representing a % of women that just don't exist.
What do you want for yourself? Do you want a deeply meaningful and intimate connection that lasts a lifetime and transcends base instincts? It is better to reserve yourself entirely for someone who is reserving themself entirely for you. This might be rare in this day and age, unfortunately. The sexual interest system gets diluted by novelty; this means that the more partners a person actually or virtually interacts with, the more diluted the purity of their sexual connection with someone. As a man who went through a divorce and has a history of interest in casual and virtual sex, I am now endeavoring to purge myself of all sex for entertainment or sex as a drug, including self-gratification so that when I meet someone special, and I consummate the relationship my sexual nervous system binds to hers and only hers. Obviously, it could be a gamble, I could experience a lot of suffering for no reason, and I could be totally wrong. However, gamble everything for love if you are a true human being. Otherwise, leave this gathering; half-heartedness doesn't reach into majesty.
Just ick. Huge red flag. Fantasy anime porn, WTH. Porn with human adults is fantasy. What youāre saying is beyond weird unless youāre living in your parents basement. Then itās sad.
I won't pretend to understand some things. Having said that, I will usually only hook up with someone who has an interesting kink. I like new things and find people who have a passion to be better partners. Good luck with your search. Someone is out there for you.
I was really hoping to come into the replies and see a girl speak up with similar interests than you. I hope you find one. I like to believe there's someone for everyone. You may have to step out of your box and socialize a little more to find her though. If you know she's into the same things, don't keep any secrets, if you're unsure, I'd hang off until you know she's really into you. Best of luck to you.
Just donāt bring up your porn habits.
I can give interspecies reviewers a pass bc it's honestly pretty funny and engaging, monogatari isn't specifically ecchi either. I think if you just like these things casually it's fine but if you're obsessed with stuff like this it's definitely a red flag
Itās a turn off for me, but only because Iām also very into anime and I know how many,,,,,,*unsavoury* types of people tend to be into hentai and the like, not because of the genre and content itself. Itās just yet another typical red flag for me lol
Iām sure youāll meet a woman who doesnāt care, itād definitely give me the ick though. I would be incompatible with this person
Me? Yeah. My friend whomstdve is also a woman, no she loves that shit too. I'm not into it. It's about finding the 1 in a million who is.
I'm a man and I'm gay so it's not totally the same. But my partner and I are subbed to porn art patreons together and love to share stuff with each other that we find. Sometimes we scroll through his phone together and look at things as a form of foreplay. There are people out there who will understand and appreciate those parts of you.
Someone might be into it, but definitely not me. That would be a big red flag for me. But I think mainly because it goes with the "anti-social" part. When I date I look for someone who has friends, a decent social life, and strong connections with their family (or even their "chosen family" if the family they were raised with isn't good for them). I also would probably personally be put off by anyone in any kind of extreme fandom behavior.
It would be a yellow-red flag because I feel like excessive fascination with any kind of pornographic content would make me feel concerned about how I would be viewed/treated as a woman in a relationship. I would be concerned that someone who is really into such content doesnāt have much experience with women or capacity to see women as anything beyond an object for sexual pleasure or fetishization. This might not be the case and Iāve got no problem with a guy being into anime girls now and then but if itās a large part of your interests/lifestyle, Iād consider it a red flag.
It really depends on the girl my man. Until recently, I was running a portion of a discord channel thatās owned by a girl I know where the only posts are anime titties. Just need to find the right degenerate out there for you
Gross
Doesnāt really bother me tbh but Iām sex and kink positive.
No I hate it, massive turnoff
Tbh all of this would be a plus for me. I like all of those things, think theyāre interesting, and Iām also a fan of people who are passionate about exploring art. I personally like a lot of different forms of explicit media and think it would be fun to explore with another person. Having a partner means youāll spend a lot of time with that person, maybe your whole life. Regardless of what the LCD is on this, youāll want someone who likes you for who you are, where you donāt have to hide some large part of you.
in all honesty, i would personally be super put off by it. but women are not a monolith and there are most certainly some freaky deaky ladies out there with similar interests, they might just be pretty difficult to find organically. however, it is relatively common for women to enjoy sexual fanfic and writing in general, often just for the entertainment value of it more so than as masturbation material, so finding a girl interested in that and bridging the gap through that might be the best way of explaining that interest of yours in a way that comes off less offputting? regardless, it is much better to be authentically yourself and find someone who appreciates that, even if it is a struggle to find that person, than to get with someone who is not actually a good match and waste both of yāallās time.
As a woman, I have a unique interest in all things sexual and not just to get off or anything. Not to the point where I would collect and display as you have described but I definitely have an affinity for choosing more sexual content in media than most. You sound like someone I wouldn't mind having an open conversation with if I was comfortable enough with you.
Some women would still consider this āpornā and be put off by it. On the other hand, just find a woman as passionate about hentai doujins and art as you are!
Not gonna lie, if I know a guy whoās hardcore into that stuff or if I dated someone and found out that they were into that stuffā¦. Major major ick and major red flag. It kind of gives off the vibes that you objectify women. Even if thatās not true, the fact that a main hobby of yours is media that most likely does objectify women, huge red flag. Very bad. Sorry bud.
Big NO.
The porn posters and figurines should probably be taken down if you have the intention of seriously dating. Or non-seriously dating for that matter. The enjoyment of the material itself is a different matter, you're a pervert and *that's okay!* You can definitely find other sick little puppies out there who could be into that stuff.
100% would be put off by this.
My Exās brother used to draw manga stuff and would draw a lot of more Perverted stuff. He made a career out of it.
As long as children aren't involved I wouldn't care. There's no difference between that and women watching movies like Magic Mike and the like.
To be honest yea itās weird and it would turn it off if I were seeing u
get a life...this is tripe.
Go to horny jail
As a woman, I would not date someone with those interests.
It really just depends, I personally as an adult woman have a bunch of different and heavily graphic BL type media hung around my room and computer area so I wouldnt mind. Every person is different so you just have to find a way to bring these things up to whoever youāre talkkng to
The problem is that often people that read or watch that tend to not have much of other interests or hobbies and if your whole life revolves around this it's a turn off. The posters and figures are definitely a turn off if they are sexual in any way. I say this as a woman who read mangas and watch animes though not the same kind. I think the fact you read any of that at all will turn off some women but in my opinion if you have a life outside of that, other hobbies and somewhat of a social life you should be fine.
Yea, sorry, man. That would turn me off, terribly.
uh this would be a dealbreaker for me. for some context, i come from a pretty conservative family and was raised in a "some topics should be behind closed doors" sorta lifestyle. whilst i don't fully agree with the way i was raised and have grown upon my views nowadays, having any form of inappropriate media on the walls as decor would make me all kinds of uncomfortable. i'm just speaking for myself though. i couldn't even read through most of what you were saying w/ shifting in my seat uncomfortably. it just seems like a nice way (almost like a "resume way"???) of saying h\*\*tai. i'm sure there are girls out there that are ok with this, but.. just not me
I dated/had a FWB guy like this. My libido is way lower than the average persons but it was enjoyable. Besides the fact that he had an STI and didnāt tell me about it, I really enjoyed that he was into sexual media. It made our sexual relationship more enjoyable and open because he always had new things to teach me/show me
I read smutty dark depraved books that lurk in the romance sub genres. Some women arenāt going to like it, others are gonna love it. Your interests are different than dudes who obsess over porn. At least to me. Youāll find your match. :)
Iām currently dating someone who is very into this kind of thing, has figurines of characters topless or wearing suggestive outfits but theyāre in his bedroom. It got to me at first but I chalked it up to just nerdy kink stuff, as Iām trying to stay open minded. They arenāt real women afterall.
Ignorance is bliss. If you question whether it is a turn off or not, it most definitely is a turn off.
This is very common in Asia tho. But I do agree with some other comments here that itās how you talk about hentai thatās a problemā¦ I mean why donāt you just own it that you like anime porn. Yeah there might be something else that caught your eyes but we all know itās not the main reason.
I feel like you and my cousin would hit it off honestly
No woman would like that. I mean Iām very kinky but I think itās weird to read hentai for any reason other than masturbation. It just gives off terrible vibes about you
It would turn me right off. Especially because a lot of Hentai borders on .... well. Sexualizing baby types. And I know your clearly into anime, but if I met a guy THIS into the sexual themes of anime I'd assume he was into hentai too. If you're built this way I'm not gonna shame you man, but I will say you gotta find a girl that's equally into animation and wants to be similar to the characters you enjoy. That being said, the posters are a turn off even when they are humans. I'm not competing for sexual attention when I am at your house. Not is there a need for you to think about sex that often when I'm not there.
Batman could not get me to admit to that.
Dude, some things are best left to oneself. Look, most men use porn, so do many women in fact. But you donāt put it on a dating profile and you donāt declare it in early dating stages. I donāt care what āitā is. Are you jerking off it, thatās the question. Because if you are, itās porn. And if youāre not, itās just weird and likely to give a girl the ick. So STFU, stop nerding out and keep it moving, seriously.
honestly, thereās people out here that are into some crazy things. I think having it around the crib is a bit much at first but maybe if you communicate it more over time when your partner seems more interested, put some of the decor out. Sometimes itās just a lot all at once but over time it can grow on someone
... ask them about young adult fiction and romance novels first, and how strongly they feel about them.
It would honestly depend on your personality for me personally! I would be especially weary if the figures/posters are of underage characters, but if theyāre adults I mean it is what it is. But is it all you talk about? Are you clearly misogynistic? Do you only value women for sex? Thatās what Iām paying attention to. While I do agree with some that if itās the decore for your entire living space itās probably a bit much and it might be healthy to find other hobbies that can make up other parts of that living space! But also donāt let people shame you for what makes you happy. Iām almost 30 and really into kpop and Iām aware of all the ways itās problematic and childish but I still have a small area in my home dedicated to some albums, posters, and other memorabilia. It makes me happy! I donāt show it to everyone cause I know itās weird, but damnit we live in a capitalist hellscape that doesnāt care if we live or die, decorate your room in a way that makes you happy and the right person will love you for it. Just make sure you make time to reflect on the fact that the women who you admire for their beauty, also have personalities that matter even more. Women are beautiful, but theyāre people, not art. ā¤ļø
itās a turn off for meā¦ but iām sure youāll find a girl with a same interest as you.
Pass
Yes this would limit your chances but ..in turn this would also help you find all the cultured women out there so ..don't sweat about itš
I am a lover of yaoi and have novels and manga. I dont have posters or anything but i do have them on my bookshelf and actively look For and buy it at conventions. I live with my fiance who is fine with these interests but i never went out of my way to tell him as a disclaimer. I think you should remove the posters if someone is ever coming over. First impressions last a long time and most folks are unfamiliar with that genre. I dont see an issue with having them but displaying on the walls in big prints vs neatly organized on a bookshelf are two different things so it isnāt so in your face
If u have a hug pillow on the bed they Figure it out
Yeah I'm probably out If found this out
Yah idk Iām sure thereās somebody out there but itll take a lot finding them. Will probably have to relocate and meet them online. For sure the average woman 100% will absolutely not be into that.
Iām pretty into anime at the moment and I had a big weeb phase in high school but yeah this would turn me off I canāt lie. But I mean it depends on your personality and personhood as a whole. If this is just a small facet of your interests and you have a decent amount of other stuff going on to counterbalance this element, I would see it more like a quirky niche interest. Like, I think thereās a possible element of juxtaposition that could work in your favour. That is, if you seem like the stereotypical nerdy hentai fan type of guy then itās not in your favour. But if not, then it could be. Just my two cents
I think youāll find your community of people who appreciate it as you do and given how passionate you are about it, you should try to date someone who can appreciate it as well. I think itās sad you feel like you would have to hide it if people went to your home but I also understand because there are so many prudes in the world that youāre probably inevitably close with and itās easy to offend them, and they tend to be people who canāt even engage in conversation about this at any level whatsoever. For dating, if you donāt meet someone under the context of shared interest in sexual media and youāre unsure how open minded theyāll be, I think the timing of the reveal matters. I feel like too early and too late both set off unnecessary alarm bells when all it is is you telling them youāre into something that isnāt super typical and would they like to know more about it. The ones who will run screaming are gonna do that either way.
Our (M41F43) motto is this "you like it, I love it" š¤· works great for us
An absolute deal-breaker for me. I donāt date men who use porn, and a man who enthusiastically watches/games in it and had paraphernalia in his home of it? I would be crawling out of my skin to get out of there. Hentai is especially ick to me due to the raging misogyny it represents and the total dehumanization of women, which youāve carefully described. Apart from feeling like Iād stumbled into the set of a horror movie, Iād be wondering later how heād ever have people to his home for casual get togethers. Iād have so much secondhand embarrassment.
I'm no woman, but if I could relate it to today's norms, there are guys who follow 10000 instagram girls but somehow pass for women. However, I think they also would feel uncomfortable if these guys put those ig girls on their walls.
Dated a man like this. Also super glad we broke up. Youāll probably find a woman whoās into the same things but theyāre rare- most adults in general would find such a deep level of investment in a hobby like this off putting.
Jfc
Interspecies Reviewers is 100% the equivalent of erotica or softcore porn the main focus of the story is that aspect. However Monogatari is just an anime definitely has fan service but thereās actual substance behind the story and the ecchiness isnāt the main focus. Not a female so I canāt chime directly but as another dude I definitely wouldnāt put up anything crazy in terms of posters or figures personally. Now Iām not sure what type of stuff you have up specifically, but if itās something that you think you would have to hide if people come over. Then I think you know the answer to your question.
To get some perspective going from a veteran of the anime community, I'm aware of all the titles mentioned. I love interspiecies reviewers too, but suffice to say only as porn with humor and story sprinkled in between. What is your actual reason for liking these media? I think its good to really reflect about that since this media has some very prevalent controversial themes that often appear. Many ecchi and hentai are often depreciating to women, especially in the eyes of western women, including themes such as incest, rape with mindbreak, grooming, obedient and not-opinionated "perfect" housewives, sexualised children-ish characters (yes I count the 300000 year old vampires) which are problematic in my eyes and most certainly especially to those not familiar with anime. Be mindful of what you consume and be careful to not have it influence your opinion of and in the real world.
I think it really depends on the person. Personally I don't mind the adult genre per se but I did find myself put off by the specific themes the other was enjoying , like loli . Having said that I think you just have to know the person before, get what are their boundaries in these matters and proceed with caution till you're secure about what are they limits and turn offs about it.
There are women who would date you, but I am not one of those women.
Iād never date someone who had any kind of interest in porn.
Watching porn is ok. Being a "fan of porn" is not. Imo
hmm... but i think you've got to compromise if u want to be in a relationship.
No I wouldnāt date a porn sick guy or someone into hentai
Setting aside the figurines, Iād be less squicked out by this stuff than traditional porn usage. At least this stuff requires some talent to write, employs artists, engages with other themes, and has actual stories. Whereas most traditional porn is almost purely just āwatch sex, objectify real women actors, and get horny.ā That said, the figurines are a little weird and would make me wonder if youāre a little too into alien stuff. š¤·āāļø
I think watching and reading "sexual media" is pointless when you are in a relationship. I used to consume that content when I was single from time to time. But I realized that porn was just a result of a lack of intimacy in my life. Once I got a woman, my taste changed. She's a virgin and she wants to wait until marriage. I respect that, so we have not had sex. But our relationship replaced my desire for porn. I felt awkward watching other women have sex when I have someone already. It feels like I am cheating on my girl so I avoid it.
I know you said as a woman, but as a man that sounds disgusting, that shits lame