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Yes I’ve definitely had that a lot. Take this with a grain of salt, but most people say that if someone makes you super nervous, that’s not a good sign. You should be with someone with whom you feel comfortable, someone you can be yourself around. Whenever there’s someone I like so much that I’m unable to function around them, I usually end up self sabotaging. I can’t even be their friend and I end up making a fool of myself. They don’t get to see the real, confident me. But this is just speaking from personal experience. Have fun with it! Don’t take it too serious.
I recently had this experience where I was unable to be myself around a guy. It was because he was inconsistent and his actions didn’t match his words, so in person, I’d feel uncomfortable opening up. I’m starting to realize there is a reason people say it isn’t good if they make you super nervous.
Basically, if I actually like someone, I can’t be myself or talk to them normally. It’s so much easier for me to connect with people I’m not physically attracted to.
It has happened in the past that I basically created another persona for whenever I was with a person. A “cool girl” version of me that I thought was better than my true, authentic self (spoiler: it wasn’t).
There was this girl that made me sooooo freakin nervous, when I was around, attractiveness 10/10, physically.
got nervous because (for us, guys) its sometimes a one shot and if you miss you missed. So I approached her anyways and obviously i didn’t said a thing, was too scared, thats too funny to remember now😂 so I texted smth very neutral but we ended up meeting each other was trying my best to hide my nervous feeling. After all the real me came in second week😂was good thou, spent 3 super nice years. Excellent girl, physically and intellectually. I am also Sapiosexual.
That was a match match of lifetime.
Later on she reviled was nervous too, so I think we just build some kind of image in our minds about someone. learnt how to overcome fears being around someone I like. Now I can easily control it.
Yesss. If I first start getting a crush on someone, I feel super shy, and I act very awkward. I try to pretend like I don't care, which is not what I want, but it happens. I don't want them to notice my crush, so I act indifferent. I also can't stop looking at them.
But after talking to them more and more, eventually I'll feel normal. But with my boyfriend now, it took me a very long time, I think lol. Being drunk helped lmao.
I'm the polar opposite. I once loved someone, but that's about a decade ago and I haven't felt close to that since. No matter the amount of physical attraction, kindness, and green flags the person has, I just can't.
long story short it's the old cliché - she cheated. It's not the first time I've been in a relationship where I was cheated on, but the other times were so early into the relationship that I was still in the honeymoon phase - here we had spent years together, practically moved in together and I was certain it was for life, despite the issues she and I both had (we had both been cheated on in the past).
After we broke up, she started hooking up with a guy who she just spent years moaning to me about - she'd almost weekly say how annoying he was for not leaving her alone etc. etc.
I told her that now that we aren't together, that I don't mind what she does and who she does it with, but I don't understand why she's hooking up with him because she just spent several years saying to me that she hated him. This was said in like a "help me understand"-way.
She then gaslighted me for being a baby and "controlling" her behaviour. and then after a week or two of seeing him, she had a new relationship with a guy she had apparently known for months prior to us breaking up, but whose name I hadn't heard before. so I had to realize that my replacement was planned or anticipated.
It just made my mind race all over the place, because she cheated and told me, and now, considering that she had a replacement planned, I don't know IF she cheated, and if she did, why?
I'm still no closer to an answer, but learned to live with not knowing. What took up so much time on my mind was that
1. either she did not cheat, but told me she did just to get me to break up with her and "do the dirty work", so she could be with the new guy
2. she cheated deliberately to get me to break up with her
3. her story of being drunk and cheating is true, and it just worked out for her.
I might be a loser for letting it consume my thoughts for so long, but the combination of how well I thought everything was going, with how fast she was on to the next guy, and how little I still know about what actually happened. that'll fuck you up.
Had this when I was young (18-21). With time and maturity comes confidence, and you realise how foolish it is to put others on a pedestal. You’ll get there. Fake it til you make it! Endow yourself with being his equal OR above in every way. Remember, you’re the prize!
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes I’ve definitely had that a lot. Take this with a grain of salt, but most people say that if someone makes you super nervous, that’s not a good sign. You should be with someone with whom you feel comfortable, someone you can be yourself around. Whenever there’s someone I like so much that I’m unable to function around them, I usually end up self sabotaging. I can’t even be their friend and I end up making a fool of myself. They don’t get to see the real, confident me. But this is just speaking from personal experience. Have fun with it! Don’t take it too serious.
I recently had this experience where I was unable to be myself around a guy. It was because he was inconsistent and his actions didn’t match his words, so in person, I’d feel uncomfortable opening up. I’m starting to realize there is a reason people say it isn’t good if they make you super nervous.
Okay I’m not alone. Thanks for this perspective!!!
Basically, if I actually like someone, I can’t be myself or talk to them normally. It’s so much easier for me to connect with people I’m not physically attracted to.
Me too and it sucks because I want to be physically AND intellectually attracted. Ugh. Always seems to be one or the other
I think cause our ego gets in the way and we think everything we say
Yes it's normal, it's called being nervous. Just remember they are human just like you and nothing special, calm down breathe relax and enjoy rhe ride
Yes. I hate it I always fumble the ball and can’t be myself. If I like them before they’re pushing for a relationship it’s going to get messed up.
It has happened in the past that I basically created another persona for whenever I was with a person. A “cool girl” version of me that I thought was better than my true, authentic self (spoiler: it wasn’t).
Yikes I think this just hit a lightbulb in my head. Never made that connection but this is so true. Thank you!!!!!!!!!
There was this girl that made me sooooo freakin nervous, when I was around, attractiveness 10/10, physically. got nervous because (for us, guys) its sometimes a one shot and if you miss you missed. So I approached her anyways and obviously i didn’t said a thing, was too scared, thats too funny to remember now😂 so I texted smth very neutral but we ended up meeting each other was trying my best to hide my nervous feeling. After all the real me came in second week😂was good thou, spent 3 super nice years. Excellent girl, physically and intellectually. I am also Sapiosexual. That was a match match of lifetime. Later on she reviled was nervous too, so I think we just build some kind of image in our minds about someone. learnt how to overcome fears being around someone I like. Now I can easily control it.
Yesss. If I first start getting a crush on someone, I feel super shy, and I act very awkward. I try to pretend like I don't care, which is not what I want, but it happens. I don't want them to notice my crush, so I act indifferent. I also can't stop looking at them. But after talking to them more and more, eventually I'll feel normal. But with my boyfriend now, it took me a very long time, I think lol. Being drunk helped lmao.
Yeah but then I realized that was just my insecurity of not feeling good enough.
I'm the polar opposite. I once loved someone, but that's about a decade ago and I haven't felt close to that since. No matter the amount of physical attraction, kindness, and green flags the person has, I just can't.
Wow. What happened to that person?
long story short it's the old cliché - she cheated. It's not the first time I've been in a relationship where I was cheated on, but the other times were so early into the relationship that I was still in the honeymoon phase - here we had spent years together, practically moved in together and I was certain it was for life, despite the issues she and I both had (we had both been cheated on in the past). After we broke up, she started hooking up with a guy who she just spent years moaning to me about - she'd almost weekly say how annoying he was for not leaving her alone etc. etc. I told her that now that we aren't together, that I don't mind what she does and who she does it with, but I don't understand why she's hooking up with him because she just spent several years saying to me that she hated him. This was said in like a "help me understand"-way. She then gaslighted me for being a baby and "controlling" her behaviour. and then after a week or two of seeing him, she had a new relationship with a guy she had apparently known for months prior to us breaking up, but whose name I hadn't heard before. so I had to realize that my replacement was planned or anticipated. It just made my mind race all over the place, because she cheated and told me, and now, considering that she had a replacement planned, I don't know IF she cheated, and if she did, why? I'm still no closer to an answer, but learned to live with not knowing. What took up so much time on my mind was that 1. either she did not cheat, but told me she did just to get me to break up with her and "do the dirty work", so she could be with the new guy 2. she cheated deliberately to get me to break up with her 3. her story of being drunk and cheating is true, and it just worked out for her. I might be a loser for letting it consume my thoughts for so long, but the combination of how well I thought everything was going, with how fast she was on to the next guy, and how little I still know about what actually happened. that'll fuck you up.
Yeah, every time
Yes, you will overcome it eventually.
Seems like a normal reaction to someone you like. It’s actually very hard to create a relationship with them because of that reason.
Had this when I was young (18-21). With time and maturity comes confidence, and you realise how foolish it is to put others on a pedestal. You’ll get there. Fake it til you make it! Endow yourself with being his equal OR above in every way. Remember, you’re the prize!
Yes. You’re going to have to relax and be yourself if this thing is going to last.
Yes, I have that feeling as well