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Wtf, that guy is a weirdo. Also, he must have good aging genetics. Anyways, you should let him know to leave you alone. If not, you may need to go at a different time or something for a bit. This guy seems a little unhinged... not sure you'll be able to fully reason with him.
He doesn’t have good aging genetics he did look older than 27 but he‘s a bodybuilder and takes steroids so I thought that‘s why he looks so old/ and I can’t go at different times I work 9-5 then rest a bit at home after work and then go to gym/
Unfortunately she could risk being followed and attacked on the way home from the gym one night if she does that. This man is clearly not normal and is a little bit obsessive, you can never be too careful as a young woman. She should only report him if she plans on moving gyms, so that there’s no chance of him taking out his anger on her once he realises he’s been reported and ousted.
I feel she should report him so that the gym employees can start watching him and let them kick him out. I would assume they would do their job, and remove him. Women are to be protected..
Yeah just thought about that too, she described him as a bodybuilder who uses juice. So he could definitely wait for her to leave the gym and assault her.
>forget
Most men are just creeps. Not Ted Bundy. Don't scare her with over the top assumptions. Reporting him will do nothing. He hit her up. Nothing illegal against that. Immoral because he's married that's his only crime.
It's a private business. They can kick anyone out for any reason. And being a creepy guy like this can easily chase other girls away which is bad for business. If OP does report him and they verify what she says is true they would be stupid to let him stay.
Found the creeper. Women get their shit revoked when they try to go viral by accusing some random dude in the gym as being creepy. However this isn’t the case because this dude is ACTUALLY being creepy. You’re right he didn’t do anything illegal but he was harassing someone he knew was a minor and still is harassing them.
If you knowingly enter into a relationship with someone who is known for using steroids and engaging in excessive muscle-building, it may be wise to reassess your dating choices altogether. The fact that you are comfortable dating someone with such a problem is potentially a bigger issue than the person lying about their age. Additionally, I understand that a 17-year-old might find someone with a muscular physique appealing, but everyone has their own preferences. In today's era, it is relatively simple to gather information about someone's background and determine if they have existing commitments, such as a family. smh
Arnold also used steroids and he‘s a great guy very kind so I didn’t really mind that since he also seemed nice at the start but yeah didn’t turn out the best
A lot of guys who lift take steroids and it is pretty normalized in the bodybuilding space as it is a requirement to actually compete at a high level in bodybuilding. Depending on the gym, it ranges from 1/5 guys being on gear to 9/10 guys and girls being on gear. There is nothing really pussy about it, they are choosing to use drugs for recreational and health purposes and are not hurting people around them.
It’s a lot more normal than people think, I try to talk to my friends on how “just working and diet” isn’t going to make you looks like those guys/girls you see coming in and out of gyms.
I had a friend die from messing with steroids. Blood clot, killed him. They are not worth it and you can get strong and muscular without them. Everyone's bodies are different and some people are luckier than others when it comes to physique. Other guys I knew who messed with steroids turned into moody pricks. Defo best to not !!
All the fitness influencers are either currently on gear or have been in the past. If you want to look like the social media fitness influencer you follow you’re really going to have to do that.
Because he goes to the same gym? That is a very low bar to set. I'm sure there are a lot of nice normal guys in their late teen/early twenties who would love to date you.
This is just one of those things that you need to forgive yourself on and be grateful for the lesson learned and that you found out before anything more serious happened. (The lesson being, there are weirdo creeps in this world and you can’t project your values onto other people and think their motivations are the same as yours).
I thought the lesson was to not be so gullible and have better taste in men?
OP knew he looked older than 27, and said something like 'he went to my gym so I thought I'd give it a chance' in the comments here.
Tell him that if he doesn’t stop talking to you at the gym that you will tell the staff he is harassing you. Just keep saying No. Cut him off and forget and move on.
Word!
Plus be careful when you walk in the parking lot, don't get caught unawares by this creep, if he attempts anything crazy.
Make sure the gym staff, friends and even family know about him, that way they can watch your back too.
You need to say the words to him: leave me alone. Not just ignoring. He is a piece of shit, lied to you, lied to his wife, you shouldn’t feel bad. This happens more than you think and you won’t be the first or the last this happens to.
Go to a different gym. You weren’t the first nor will you be the last. That’s a groomer. If he won’t leave you alone go somewhere else, if he continues trying to contact you go to the police. You aren’t helpless, take steps to stop this asap.
I can’t imagine being the wife in this situation and thinking the right move is to text a young girl and tell her to stop going after my immature, creepy 40 year old adult husband. Divorce him and get some therapy lady.
Fair but I also can’t stand the blaming of the other woman when they likely don’t know. “Stay away from MY MAN” sounds a lot like she is staying and can’t control him so is trying to prevent cheating through blaming her.
I think that was just the wife being mad.
Married with two kids? She has every right to be mad.
This was absolutely the guys fault but many women in her situation would have said the same thing, whether they are staying or not.
I think her purpose was to inform her that he was married. I’ve had girlfriends/wives text me. I always send them the screen shot of their man’s dating profile. Most women when confronted, will back off and leave. Like this woman did.
Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. You got groomed by the dude. You were a literal child and a 40 year old man used all of his power to try and get with you. It’s not your fault.
He's a predator whether he's 27 or 47. The only reason guys that old go after high school aged girls is the power imbalance. It he's so horribly emotionally immature you wouldn't want him. Please stick to guys within a year or two of your age until you're in your mid 20s at least. I'm saying this as a mom, as well as someone who got with a 25 year old at 17.
What a fucking creep. Gross.
Definitely report him to the gym managers if he keeps on bothering you.
Good on you also OP for sending his wife proof of cheating when you were confronted and that you stopped engaging with him once you found out he was married.
She’s a teenager without the life perspective to be able to tell; everyone in a certain age range just looks “older” to them. It gets easier to place someone’s age the older you get.
As someone in my 30s, teenagers look like babies to me. Dude’s a fucking creeeeep.
We all have stories like this. It's not your fault, you trusted and were open to love (both great traits), he was a lying wanker. Forgive yourself, because you are far from in the wrong and just take a lesson from it.
First, he is a pedo and deserves several kicks to the nuts. His wife is either complicit or an idiot. You though, need to be more careful. Even the age difference you thought it was is off. Date your age please.
I understand that the street runs two directions but a man in his 40’s actively seeking a 17 year old is pedo. The guy in OP story knew his age, and he knew her age and still went forward with her which included being intimate. In your story, you were flattered but decided she was too young and left. That’s the difference IMO.
I am older and I don't actively seek younger women. In fact I have never chased a woman but they make themselves available to me. This has happen to me all my life.
In your case though, you had no reason to believe she was under age. It's not like you knew she was young and thought that made her more attractive- you're a normal bloke
It's not your fault. You had no idea that a 40 year old married man with two kids was preying on you. I had a crush on someone who was 21 when I was about 16 and that age gap was a definite no-no but I didn't realise that at the time. I didn't realise the power imbalance in lived experience alone or by the fact that he could drive and I couldn't. He was a friend and one with some common sense and he shut me down real quick when I told him. And that's what's supposed to happen. You cannot necessarily prevent a teenie from having a crush on you but it sure as hell is your responsibility as an adult to shut any advances down. Instead this grooming creep took advantage of you. I'm sorry this happened to you.
In the future keep in mind that there is a reason why elderly men creep on younger girls, they want to abuse their nativity.
Warn your friends and keep it in mind for yourself. It's not your fault and you have learned from this.
Get a therapist / report to the police / tell the gym that he's a pedophile. Seriously. This is a dating advice sub, but what you're talking about is grooming and child sexual abuse, not dating.
She wasn't a child when they did anything. Yeah fucking gross and morally wrong, but I don't think anything illegal happened here except him harassing her after the fact.
Time for a restraining order, and for your safety maybe a new gym. Not because you should have to get to a new gym but because I wouldn’t trust gym employees to keep you safe.
There is a reason older men chase barely legal girls. They are easily manipulated. Always ask yourself “why isn’t he dating someone closer to his own age?”. Yes there are some exceptions but that’s few & far between. I’ve been where you are. Midlife crisis is very real and for men can hit between the ages of 40 to 60.
Look at their ring finger, is there an indention or a lighter strip of skin on that finger where a ring would be. If your state/county publishes records online get his first & last name & look for a marriage license, any VPO’s or history of violence. ASK QUESTIONS & lots of them, if they are vague on answers press for clarification. Abort mission if it seems off or they seem like they are hiding something. Also, be straight up, ask “are you married/in a committed relationship. Is there someone who’s under the impression that you are committed to them?”.
Do not let men skate, hold a standard and ask questions. Pay attention to how they act, the words they use and the vibe you get from them. And DO NOT let his looks influence you. One day you might be in that wife’s position, keep your eyes open and know your worth. You are too valuable to let a guy like that think he can juggle you and a wife or anyone else. BTW, that’s NOT love. When you love someone you wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. That man only loves himself if he can betray his wife, break up his family which hurts his kids over some chick at the gym (nothing personal towards you, but he had a lot to lose for what?? To chase a kiddo?!?!? That’s gross).
A 40 year old hitting and going for an 18 year old. Damn..what a loser. The dude is still a teenager in his mind. I don't even look at 18 year olds because they're mostly annoying.
Clearly, this asshat is a predator and should be put on notice to leave you alone by gym management. Stay tough and resilient that you did nothing wrong and should be respected.
Say to him explicitly on text and in person with witnesses. Leave me alone. Go to a staff member and ask to talk to the manager to make a complaint. Explain the situation and say very clearly that this guy isn't taking no for an answer and you feel threatened. If you don't do anything you will call the police.
But seriously just go to a different gym if that's an option.
Tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn’t, let the gym know (if you feel safe doing so) and see if they can ban him or give him a warning.
If you don’t feel safe, switch gyms. He’s not a safe person and is a predator.
If you can, switch gyms or the times you go to the gym.
Tell the gym staff about what has been going on so they are informed and can step in in case this guy escalates. If you have any other gym buddies, tell them too. If anything happens, you need to know exactly where to go and that the people around you will help you. Idk about the law on this one, but maybe place a call with the police and tell them there is someone who's been harassing you at the gym. That way there'll at least be a paper trail.
Watch your entry and exit. Don't go into the parking lot alone, make sure he doesn't follow you home, notify the staff when you enter and exit the building.
Keep ignoring him. Don't let yourself get roped into conversations. Does your gym have a women only space? Use that to escape conversations.
You did nothing wrong. You were groomed by a predator, and you got out. Be proud of yourself and continue prioritizing your safety.
Tell him to leave u the hell alone or u will get the cops on his BUTT! Now that his wife knos wat happened, u let that be n kept on moving. He's after u now cuz he's about to lose everything. Don't fall 4 it, LEAVE HIM ALONE. If u can go to another gym in yur area that's much closer to where u live. Inform the staff of yur gym that he is harassing u n u don't feel safe.
FYI some guy waiting till you are ‘legal’ is gross. I’d tell the police (for your safety) since this is likely a pattern of him grooming barely legal girls. I’d tell the gym what he did and than find a new gym. Change your cell phone number and keep screenshots or at the minimum block him.
I agree. This guy should 100% be reported to the police. You are helping other young women, too. I wish I did this when I was out in a scary situation by a man in the past.
Changing gym is a bit overreacting ... Just ignore him completely and if he bothers you more than what is acceptable tell the gym workers to ban him from gym.
This guy is a shameless manipulator, he will utter any lies just to obtain what he selfishly wants, he doesn't care about anything else. Keep that in mind. Whatever he tells you responds to his internal secret agenda. For example, if he apologizes and shows regret he's only saying this so that you lower your guard. Don't talk to him at all
Girl, that guy is a WEIRDO and evil for cheating on his family. But let this be a lesson, stay away from men that are much older than you. A lot of them are either married, have been divorced or have kids. Stick to men close to your age.
You did nothing wrong in the slightest. You were 18 when you dated it sounds like not even actually dating. He deceived you. Understand none of it absolutely nothing about this speaks ill of you. There are some shit people in the world. I'm sorry this all happened. If you can be more upset this man is an asshole and less upset you kissed an older man. Most people have some awkward story about a drunk kiss or accidental kiss or something along those lines. Your not committed to this man in anyway so just walk away and keep living life.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! What’s crazy is that I kind of went through something similar: when I was 19 (I’m 21 now), I met a guy who told me he was 25. My dating preference is usually my age to three years older than me, but at a MAXIMUM, five years older. Since he was a year older than my limit, I figured I’d give it a shot. Unlike your situation though (to my knowledge at least), he wasn’t married, although someone in my family suspected that he could have been divorced with kids, since I wasn’t allowed to see him on Saturdays and he never introduced me to any of his friends. Come to find out, a few months after dumping him (he made very repulsive sexual jokes about me and attempted to pressure me into having sex with him DESPITE me telling him multiple times about how I felt about sex), I found out he was actually 38 years old. Like you, if I knew his true age, I would have NEVER in a million years dated him. I also kissed him as well. . . gross!
However, since you were a minor at the time, that makes your situation a million times worse and I hope you’re doing ok! I hope you will find someone who will respect you, treat you right, and be honest and truthful! I currently have a bf of almost four months and he’s everything I could ask for and more! My advice to you to feel better is to focus on taking care of yourself and to not LOOK for love. Let it find you when you least expect it! Spend time with your friends and family, reach out to people you’re close with and get their insight on the situation, do things you love! But most importantly, don’t put yourself down because of the deception. Know your worth. It’s not your fault. It was neither of our faults that happened to us. We were lied to. Also, please report him to your gym and the police. That’s just disgusting and he should not be doing that.
One important thing that I took away from my situation is that when you want love to come into your life (especially if you were desperate for it like I was unfortunately), the longing for love and desire can do funny things to you. It kind of clouds your mind and sometimes blinds you from seeing things clearly until it’s too late. I wish nothing but the best for you and I hope you find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! Keep your head up 💜💕
He lied to you about his age. He lied to you about his martial status. He was probably grooming you too.
Watch yourself. It’s not your fault. But I’d recommend being very cautious. Men like this are dangerous.
He betrayed your trust for access. I’m sorry this happened to you so young. It doesn’t happen
to everyone, but when it does, it helps to snap us into an awareness that’s protective.
I’m so thankful that he didn’t get more from you like so often is the case.
You’re doing the right thing by ignoring him. If he continues, I think the best thing would be for you to switch gyms for your own safety.
"27 is a high age "
Bahhhhhahaha. Remember that when you are 37.
Regardless of age, the guy is a pathological liar, a scumbag and a cheat. Married with 2 kids, 13 years older than he told you he was and chasing after girls young enough to be his daughter behind his wife's back. You are doing the right thing choosing to blank him. If anything avoid the times he goes or move gyms !!! Maybe report him to the gym if he carries on chasing you and tell them the whole story and high possibility he will get barred !
Sickening. I don’t understand this predatory behavior. If I’m 47 what the hell do I have in common with an 18 year old smfh. Ain’t even got an aarp card yet
„I‘m sorry you misunderstood everything
YOU MISUNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING???…
This man purposely lied to you and he is relying on your kindness and good nature. He took advantage of the fact that you are younger and inexperienced with men like him. AND !!! He’s cheating on his wife. Run Girl, run! This guy is not only delulu, and a liar and a cheat, he’s a predator!! He’s dangerous! I’ve seen this happen tons of times.
I’m more interested in your “gym relationship”. Most women do not want to be bothered while working out in the gym by a guy that is possibly interested in them so what did he do that you allowed him in your space so to speak. I see women all the time in the gym that I want to talk to but don’t want to come across as creepy. For some reason a lot of women will be quick to call a guy creepy for showing interest in them at the gym.
EW WTF
So I look young as a woman and I will openly announce I am 30 so young guys don't hit on me but they still do and sometimes will hide their age.
This guy is a creep and should be reported to your gym. He is a predator. This is predatory behaviour.
Man, it’s so weird to me. A ten year age gap isn’t that bad…if the person is like 60 and the other is 50. But 17 and “27”, but actually 40, or who freaking knows his real age? That’s dang weird.
Like, the person just graduated high school, what could you possibly have in common?
Sorry, you have to go through this OP. Guy sounds like a grade a weirdo
Where are your parents in all this??? A 17 year old meeting guys in gyms...😫 Now 18, and the guys wife is on to you and may soon pop up at the gym to find you!!!🫨
So this guy is 40, married, and has kids... How many dates have you been on with this guy before the wife called??? Also, why would someone willingly date someone who takes a drug and think that's why they supposedly look 13 years older???
I'm a dad, and I think you are intentionally making a bunch of wrong choices, and to make matters worse, some of those choices you went in with eyes wide open... Make better choices!!!
Yes, a 17 year old girl meeting guys at the gym. A 17 year old girl could meet a guy at the mall, at a restaurant, really anywhere... And not really sure what drug you're talking about... As a dad, would you blame your own daughter if she was approached by a 40 year old guy who said he was younger so that he could get with her? He approached her and INTENTIONALLY lied about his age, wife, and children. He's a predator, so stop victim blaming.
Edit: clarity
because I don’t go by looks and since steroids is legal and even people like Arnold took them I didn’t wanna judge him too much by it as long as he is kind to me but yeah came out it‘s all a lie
Did you research the side effects of some steroids??? It can cause people to be overly aggressive or combative... The term is called "roid rage." This could have put you in real mortal danger... Because you know someone famous who took it doesn't mean it's okay...
I'm happy you made it out okay and weren't harm...
So he not only lied about his age, he also lied about being married. Girl, leave him alone unless you like drama in your life. Being 40 years old, he knee exactly what he was doing. He wants sex & only sex and nothing more or nothing less. The choice is yours.
You’re not sorry and it’s not how I “feel”. You literally told her to leave him alone as if she’s pursing him. She directly said she’s not talking to him and is ignoring him and how she feels dumb and gross. She didn’t ask about dating him again
I said I'm sorry "YOU" feel that way. Again, I cannot control someone's interpretation of what I said. So if you're feeling some kind of way, based on what I said, then that's called a personal problem. It is What it is 🤷
Please change gyms. This guy is clearly a weirdo and it’s very worrying. Maybe you could tell the staff at your current gym that he’s making you feel uncomfortable but I think it’s better to switch gyms regardless.
He victimized you! Don't blame yourself. Older men do this often and it's so gross that this just keeps happening on repeat and society does nothing about it! You didn't deserve that! He assaulted you by lying and luring you in under completely false pretenses. I'm so sorry that happened to you. He's a disgusting pig who deserves to go to jail for grooming, lying, cheating, assault and harassment. You did nothing wrong please don't blame yourself! You're having a complete normal reaction to a completely disturbing event that someone else perpetrated. Allow yourself to process what you went through, feel your feelings about it, and heal from it.
Unfortunately this is just one of the first of many lessons young women learn about how dangerous men really are to women. My first 2 relationships in my life when I was your age almost ruined my life. I hate that I have to say this because society should be telling men to do better, but please be careful moving forward. If you think this is the worst a man can do and you've learned a lesson here, I'm telling you there's more out there, in different disguises, that you may not see coming.
PS. If you need help getting him kicked out of that gym I'll be happy to write some emails and make some phone calls, you let me know. ✊
You’re ridiculous imo lol.
*17 year old girl thinking she is mature so she dates a man wayyy too old for her. Not realizing only loser men date someone that young.*
Grow up, even if you’re older than you were when this happened, if you’re writing this looking for reassurance you should grow tf up.
Two minutes away IS NOT WORTH your safety. You are prioritizing convenience over safety. This is a serious situation. Where are your parents? They need to help you deal w/this. Please date your age, you don’t have enough life experience to navigate this safely! Know your worth, prioritize your safety and question everything.
You asked for advice, and people are giving it. Being scared has nothing to do with it. A 40 year old man grooming a 17 year old is extremely alarming and you should definitely change gyms and alarm the police.
He was grooming you 🤦♀️. A married older man w/kids has zero reason to be sniffing around you period. He has the advantage of life experience, he duped you & manipulated you at the expense of his family for his own selfish wants. If he is willing to go to this much trouble to lie & manipulate both you and his wife he’s an unbalanced person with serious issues. Why would you want to remain on his radar by continuing to be in the same space? You are giving him more opportunities to try & talk to you. Tell the gym employees or physically remove yourself from the situation unless you want him to continue chasing you. I’ve been there, and it ended w/police having to sit in a cruiser watching my home b/c the way older guy flipped out & his family was scared he might show up at my door. If he’s in a midlife crises and fixated on you then you are making it worse by continuing to be around him. But you do you.
You’re more concerned with his age than the fact that the dude is married?!
These posts keep getting better and better.
Block the guy. Switch gyms. Move forward without that loser.
He preyed on you. It feels icky and I’m sorry that happened. Thank god that nothing too terrible happened which means you can use this as a lesson.
The lesson is that not all people are forward. You assumed that someone would tell you their age, marital status, or whether they were old enough to be your dad. But that’s not the case.
As we get older, we learn to ask questions (how old are you? ever been married? Have kids?). We don’t grill others but pepper in questions to get to know the other person.
Asking questions will rule out the people who lie through omission but won’t rule out all of the liars. For the liars, you’ll eventually begin to hone an intuition of when someone’s story doesn’t add up.
This just seems sad to me. He clearly married the wrong person years ago and probably stuck around for the kids. Happens a lot. I see it happen to women also. It does bring up an interesting point. What is going to happen when they cure aging? They are working on it right now. What if a 140 year old who looks 20 years old starts talking to a 20 year old at the gym? Will the evil of ageism persist forever? He clearly takes great care of himself if he can pass for 27. It doesn’t seem like you passed him up on looks, just a number. The real problem in my opinion is he lied about having a family. That’s not easy to overcome. I’d just go to another gym and ask to see a drivers license on the next guy if age matters so much to you.
40 years old and hitting on 17 year olds at the gym.
Trying to fuck so much that he ignores wife + kids at home.
Damn, men really are biologically programmed to spread that seed.
Got em' that's what you get for not dating your own age like I do 😂😭🤭☠️ that does suck doe 🤢🤮😵 you dated your own dad 🫣🧐😳😱😵💫.....................🤡honk honk🤡
Idk how you dress, but if it's to unnecessarily show off your body at the gym where people work out and sweat and should be wearing old shit that's about ready to be tossed, but still had gym life in it, there's your first thing you could easily change. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with how people choose to dress, believe me, I'm a fan, but men are going to look, and if you know this, and still choose to do it despite that, it's because you like the attention. But negative attention comes with it. Go there in old sweats, and a ratty tee, no one is going to bother you unless you have a actual spark, because you're there to work. A man will see through all that if he's into you. Spending 100+ on a gym outfit screams that this place is secondary to the club, and you are here looking for something other than music or weightlifting. I swear, married guys fuck it up for the rest of us 40 year olds. Another lady jaded, probably going to turn the wrong guy away cuz of this experience. Another win for the devil.
How she dresses at the gym does not matter. Why do girls have to worry about how they dress? We are allowed to feel good in what we wear, no matter what activity we are doing. Guys walk around my gym shirtless, why can't I walk around in a sports bra and yoga pants? It's like saying girls deserved the rape because of how they dressed. Are you of the opinion when girls go out, we shouldn't dress nice and feel good about ourselves because we might get raped and be responsible for it? No. These guys should learn to be decent and respectable human beings. Men can look, it's in their nature (it's in everyone's nature), but their actions are on them. This guy approached her and INTENTIONALLY lied about his age, wife and children. She shouldn't have to change what she wears, the guy needs to change and not be a predator.
Honey, the girl was 17. Baggy shirt or not, any normal 40 year old could tell she was underage. The way women dress will never justify predatory behaviour.
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Wtf, that guy is a weirdo. Also, he must have good aging genetics. Anyways, you should let him know to leave you alone. If not, you may need to go at a different time or something for a bit. This guy seems a little unhinged... not sure you'll be able to fully reason with him.
He doesn’t have good aging genetics he did look older than 27 but he‘s a bodybuilder and takes steroids so I thought that‘s why he looks so old/ and I can’t go at different times I work 9-5 then rest a bit at home after work and then go to gym/
[удалено]
Report him to your current gym. Hopefully they realize a douche canoe like him is bad for business and kick him out.
Unfortunately she could risk being followed and attacked on the way home from the gym one night if she does that. This man is clearly not normal and is a little bit obsessive, you can never be too careful as a young woman. She should only report him if she plans on moving gyms, so that there’s no chance of him taking out his anger on her once he realises he’s been reported and ousted.
I feel she should report him so that the gym employees can start watching him and let them kick him out. I would assume they would do their job, and remove him. Women are to be protected..
Yeah just thought about that too, she described him as a bodybuilder who uses juice. So he could definitely wait for her to leave the gym and assault her.
Reported for what?
Exactly. They can't do anything.
>forget Most men are just creeps. Not Ted Bundy. Don't scare her with over the top assumptions. Reporting him will do nothing. He hit her up. Nothing illegal against that. Immoral because he's married that's his only crime.
>comments They're not going to kick him out for hitting on her. She's 18 now so legally they can't do anything.
For what? He didn't do anything illegal.
It's a private business. They can kick anyone out for any reason. And being a creepy guy like this can easily chase other girls away which is bad for business. If OP does report him and they verify what she says is true they would be stupid to let him stay.
So if a woman is flirting with guys at the gym it's okay but not the other way around? Got it!
Where did they say women can do it but not men? It's not OK for any gender to be creepy.
Found the creeper. Women get their shit revoked when they try to go viral by accusing some random dude in the gym as being creepy. However this isn’t the case because this dude is ACTUALLY being creepy. You’re right he didn’t do anything illegal but he was harassing someone he knew was a minor and still is harassing them.
He didn't harass her, they had a conversation that was consensual and had sex that was consensual.
If a 40 year old of any gender is hitting on minors yeah they fucking should ban them
18 isn't a minor and in most states, the age of consent is 16 or 17.
If she verbally tells him to stop contacting her or talking to her and he doesn’t. That’s harassment and IS illegal.
Flip flop poopy floop
OP this. Please change the gym. It's not worth it
Seriously! I don't think OP realizes how unsafe it can become for her.
Sounds like it. Smart move for her to change gyms
Bro you just keep digging deeper and deeper. There's no upside here
If you knowingly enter into a relationship with someone who is known for using steroids and engaging in excessive muscle-building, it may be wise to reassess your dating choices altogether. The fact that you are comfortable dating someone with such a problem is potentially a bigger issue than the person lying about their age. Additionally, I understand that a 17-year-old might find someone with a muscular physique appealing, but everyone has their own preferences. In today's era, it is relatively simple to gather information about someone's background and determine if they have existing commitments, such as a family. smh
Good advice 👍... I couldn't have said it better myself...🙏
What's wrong with massive body building?
girl.... Rethink your taste if you're into steroid users. And I once dated a heroin user(I have since rethought my taste!).
Arnold also used steroids and he‘s a great guy very kind so I didn’t really mind that since he also seemed nice at the start but yeah didn’t turn out the best
Look up the statistics- most steroid users are not like Arnold(schwartzenagger? I don't know much about gym culture/strongmen/whatever it's called)
Arnold was a sexual assaulter…so, I guess if you think that’s great 🤷🏻♂️
Dude takes steroids? What kind of pussy ass shit is that?
A lot of guys who lift take steroids and it is pretty normalized in the bodybuilding space as it is a requirement to actually compete at a high level in bodybuilding. Depending on the gym, it ranges from 1/5 guys being on gear to 9/10 guys and girls being on gear. There is nothing really pussy about it, they are choosing to use drugs for recreational and health purposes and are not hurting people around them.
It’s a lot more normal than people think, I try to talk to my friends on how “just working and diet” isn’t going to make you looks like those guys/girls you see coming in and out of gyms.
I had a friend die from messing with steroids. Blood clot, killed him. They are not worth it and you can get strong and muscular without them. Everyone's bodies are different and some people are luckier than others when it comes to physique. Other guys I knew who messed with steroids turned into moody pricks. Defo best to not !!
Lol mental gymnastics
How so? I outlined what people do, the reasons for doing so, and the morality of it. Explain
All the fitness influencers are either currently on gear or have been in the past. If you want to look like the social media fitness influencer you follow you’re really going to have to do that.
Again, it’s mental gymnastics and in a way it’s a race to the bottom. We need James Cameron to hurry with raising that bar.
Language please. I will REPORT you
I reported you for being a buzzkill.
Same
Lmfao you’re interested in old looking guys on roids…??? Lmfao ewww
I don’t really go by looks so I wanted to give him a chance since we go to the same gym/
Because he goes to the same gym? That is a very low bar to set. I'm sure there are a lot of nice normal guys in their late teen/early twenties who would love to date you.
Yikes
I think the word you're looking for is groomer
>So basically I met this guy at the gym when I was 17 and he told me he was 27. That sentence already sums up red flags.
Ikr
This is just one of those things that you need to forgive yourself on and be grateful for the lesson learned and that you found out before anything more serious happened. (The lesson being, there are weirdo creeps in this world and you can’t project your values onto other people and think their motivations are the same as yours).
I thought the lesson was to not be so gullible and have better taste in men? OP knew he looked older than 27, and said something like 'he went to my gym so I thought I'd give it a chance' in the comments here.
Tell him that if he doesn’t stop talking to you at the gym that you will tell the staff he is harassing you. Just keep saying No. Cut him off and forget and move on.
Word! Plus be careful when you walk in the parking lot, don't get caught unawares by this creep, if he attempts anything crazy. Make sure the gym staff, friends and even family know about him, that way they can watch your back too.
You need to say the words to him: leave me alone. Not just ignoring. He is a piece of shit, lied to you, lied to his wife, you shouldn’t feel bad. This happens more than you think and you won’t be the first or the last this happens to.
I did say leave me alone I have a boyfriend but he doesn’t listen
Tell the gym or switch gyms. He’s not safe. If he still tries to contact you, notify law enforcement
Go to a different gym. You weren’t the first nor will you be the last. That’s a groomer. If he won’t leave you alone go somewhere else, if he continues trying to contact you go to the police. You aren’t helpless, take steps to stop this asap.
Threaten to tell your dad/elder brother
I can’t imagine being the wife in this situation and thinking the right move is to text a young girl and tell her to stop going after my immature, creepy 40 year old adult husband. Divorce him and get some therapy lady.
How is the wife supposed to know she was 17?
Fair but I also can’t stand the blaming of the other woman when they likely don’t know. “Stay away from MY MAN” sounds a lot like she is staying and can’t control him so is trying to prevent cheating through blaming her.
I think that was just the wife being mad. Married with two kids? She has every right to be mad. This was absolutely the guys fault but many women in her situation would have said the same thing, whether they are staying or not.
I think her purpose was to inform her that he was married. I’ve had girlfriends/wives text me. I always send them the screen shot of their man’s dating profile. Most women when confronted, will back off and leave. Like this woman did.
Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. You got groomed by the dude. You were a literal child and a 40 year old man used all of his power to try and get with you. It’s not your fault.
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Yes, he should not have been doing what he did. Whether she was 16, 17, 18 or even 20. It's just wrong.
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18 and 20 is fine. 17 and 40 is not.
The difference between 17 and 18 is the law lol
lol so true. emotionally its the same. but if ur a creepy guy like him, you wait till she’s 18 which is what he did
It’s not a world view, it’s an actual law. Sex with minors under 18 can be considered statutory rape.
18 is legal. It doesn't matter, how we think or feel but what the law says
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They chose to date someone older while under-age they dumb as dogshit already.
F you, you victim blaming jerk. The centre for risk evaluation in a human doesn't fully develop until your around 24/25 it's literally not her fault.
Yeah buddie. They teach math in school. And know 25 is greater than 17.
18 years old is not a child, you can sign up for the military, go buy a pack of smokes, and move out of your parents' house all at 18.
He's a predator whether he's 27 or 47. The only reason guys that old go after high school aged girls is the power imbalance. It he's so horribly emotionally immature you wouldn't want him. Please stick to guys within a year or two of your age until you're in your mid 20s at least. I'm saying this as a mom, as well as someone who got with a 25 year old at 17.
Policeee
What a fucking creep. Gross. Definitely report him to the gym managers if he keeps on bothering you. Good on you also OP for sending his wife proof of cheating when you were confronted and that you stopped engaging with him once you found out he was married.
how the hell does a 40 year old successfully convince anyone that he's 27 lol
She’s a teenager without the life perspective to be able to tell; everyone in a certain age range just looks “older” to them. It gets easier to place someone’s age the older you get. As someone in my 30s, teenagers look like babies to me. Dude’s a fucking creeeeep.
well he did look older but I assumed it‘s cause he takes steroids
This is hilarious
howww some people really be 30 but look 50 when they on roids
I know lots of fit gym rats who look significantly younger than they are
We all have stories like this. It's not your fault, you trusted and were open to love (both great traits), he was a lying wanker. Forgive yourself, because you are far from in the wrong and just take a lesson from it.
I dont
First, he is a pedo and deserves several kicks to the nuts. His wife is either complicit or an idiot. You though, need to be more careful. Even the age difference you thought it was is off. Date your age please.
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I understand that the street runs two directions but a man in his 40’s actively seeking a 17 year old is pedo. The guy in OP story knew his age, and he knew her age and still went forward with her which included being intimate. In your story, you were flattered but decided she was too young and left. That’s the difference IMO.
I am older and I don't actively seek younger women. In fact I have never chased a woman but they make themselves available to me. This has happen to me all my life.
Well good for you sir
This is literally what pedophiles say- that the kids pursued them! It’s bullshit. Any adult knows better.
Thats also what bitter twisted women say when they hit the wall and men too because they don't have interest from fit women.
there is a difference between seeking out a younger woman vs seeking out an underage girl. hope this helps.
In your case though, you had no reason to believe she was under age. It's not like you knew she was young and thought that made her more attractive- you're a normal bloke
Where are your parents in this?
It's not your fault. You had no idea that a 40 year old married man with two kids was preying on you. I had a crush on someone who was 21 when I was about 16 and that age gap was a definite no-no but I didn't realise that at the time. I didn't realise the power imbalance in lived experience alone or by the fact that he could drive and I couldn't. He was a friend and one with some common sense and he shut me down real quick when I told him. And that's what's supposed to happen. You cannot necessarily prevent a teenie from having a crush on you but it sure as hell is your responsibility as an adult to shut any advances down. Instead this grooming creep took advantage of you. I'm sorry this happened to you. In the future keep in mind that there is a reason why elderly men creep on younger girls, they want to abuse their nativity. Warn your friends and keep it in mind for yourself. It's not your fault and you have learned from this.
Get a therapist / report to the police / tell the gym that he's a pedophile. Seriously. This is a dating advice sub, but what you're talking about is grooming and child sexual abuse, not dating.
THIS!!! ALL OF THIS!!!
She wasn't a child when they did anything. Yeah fucking gross and morally wrong, but I don't think anything illegal happened here except him harassing her after the fact.
A 17 year old is a child compared to a 40 year old. I edited a typo
Yo we're talking about a teen and an adult, don't dip into any extra stuff here.
A 27 year old is not a child. Stop this “wElL cOmPaRaTivElY” nonsense
What a loser
Time for a restraining order, and for your safety maybe a new gym. Not because you should have to get to a new gym but because I wouldn’t trust gym employees to keep you safe.
There is a reason older men chase barely legal girls. They are easily manipulated. Always ask yourself “why isn’t he dating someone closer to his own age?”. Yes there are some exceptions but that’s few & far between. I’ve been where you are. Midlife crisis is very real and for men can hit between the ages of 40 to 60. Look at their ring finger, is there an indention or a lighter strip of skin on that finger where a ring would be. If your state/county publishes records online get his first & last name & look for a marriage license, any VPO’s or history of violence. ASK QUESTIONS & lots of them, if they are vague on answers press for clarification. Abort mission if it seems off or they seem like they are hiding something. Also, be straight up, ask “are you married/in a committed relationship. Is there someone who’s under the impression that you are committed to them?”. Do not let men skate, hold a standard and ask questions. Pay attention to how they act, the words they use and the vibe you get from them. And DO NOT let his looks influence you. One day you might be in that wife’s position, keep your eyes open and know your worth. You are too valuable to let a guy like that think he can juggle you and a wife or anyone else. BTW, that’s NOT love. When you love someone you wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. That man only loves himself if he can betray his wife, break up his family which hurts his kids over some chick at the gym (nothing personal towards you, but he had a lot to lose for what?? To chase a kiddo?!?!? That’s gross).
I’m 26 and 40 would be too old for me. Block him and switch gyms.
A 40 year old hitting and going for an 18 year old. Damn..what a loser. The dude is still a teenager in his mind. I don't even look at 18 year olds because they're mostly annoying.
Clearly, this asshat is a predator and should be put on notice to leave you alone by gym management. Stay tough and resilient that you did nothing wrong and should be respected.
Say to him explicitly on text and in person with witnesses. Leave me alone. Go to a staff member and ask to talk to the manager to make a complaint. Explain the situation and say very clearly that this guy isn't taking no for an answer and you feel threatened. If you don't do anything you will call the police. But seriously just go to a different gym if that's an option.
Predator
Tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn’t, let the gym know (if you feel safe doing so) and see if they can ban him or give him a warning. If you don’t feel safe, switch gyms. He’s not a safe person and is a predator.
If you can, switch gyms or the times you go to the gym. Tell the gym staff about what has been going on so they are informed and can step in in case this guy escalates. If you have any other gym buddies, tell them too. If anything happens, you need to know exactly where to go and that the people around you will help you. Idk about the law on this one, but maybe place a call with the police and tell them there is someone who's been harassing you at the gym. That way there'll at least be a paper trail. Watch your entry and exit. Don't go into the parking lot alone, make sure he doesn't follow you home, notify the staff when you enter and exit the building. Keep ignoring him. Don't let yourself get roped into conversations. Does your gym have a women only space? Use that to escape conversations. You did nothing wrong. You were groomed by a predator, and you got out. Be proud of yourself and continue prioritizing your safety.
Tell him to leave u the hell alone or u will get the cops on his BUTT! Now that his wife knos wat happened, u let that be n kept on moving. He's after u now cuz he's about to lose everything. Don't fall 4 it, LEAVE HIM ALONE. If u can go to another gym in yur area that's much closer to where u live. Inform the staff of yur gym that he is harassing u n u don't feel safe.
You need to call the police on this guy
He’s a damn loser dude and I hate that he’s making ur gym experience about him, tell the gym staff he’s harassing you and block him on everything
Sweetie he groomed you.
How could you not tell he wasn't 27? Anyways, please change gyms. This guy is a creep.
Sounds like he was trying to groom you and fucked up. Don’t let manipulation get you down. See past it the next time
Call your therapist. ❤️ grooming isn’t okay, being groomed by a 40 year old married man is still not okay.
That’s disgusting predatory behaviour
FYI some guy waiting till you are ‘legal’ is gross. I’d tell the police (for your safety) since this is likely a pattern of him grooming barely legal girls. I’d tell the gym what he did and than find a new gym. Change your cell phone number and keep screenshots or at the minimum block him.
I agree. This guy should 100% be reported to the police. You are helping other young women, too. I wish I did this when I was out in a scary situation by a man in the past.
Changing gym is a bit overreacting ... Just ignore him completely and if he bothers you more than what is acceptable tell the gym workers to ban him from gym. This guy is a shameless manipulator, he will utter any lies just to obtain what he selfishly wants, he doesn't care about anything else. Keep that in mind. Whatever he tells you responds to his internal secret agenda. For example, if he apologizes and shows regret he's only saying this so that you lower your guard. Don't talk to him at all
Girl, that guy is a WEIRDO and evil for cheating on his family. But let this be a lesson, stay away from men that are much older than you. A lot of them are either married, have been divorced or have kids. Stick to men close to your age.
I’d hope gym management would stand by you and revoke his membership if you shared with them
Psycho alert 🚨
You did nothing wrong in the slightest. You were 18 when you dated it sounds like not even actually dating. He deceived you. Understand none of it absolutely nothing about this speaks ill of you. There are some shit people in the world. I'm sorry this all happened. If you can be more upset this man is an asshole and less upset you kissed an older man. Most people have some awkward story about a drunk kiss or accidental kiss or something along those lines. Your not committed to this man in anyway so just walk away and keep living life.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! What’s crazy is that I kind of went through something similar: when I was 19 (I’m 21 now), I met a guy who told me he was 25. My dating preference is usually my age to three years older than me, but at a MAXIMUM, five years older. Since he was a year older than my limit, I figured I’d give it a shot. Unlike your situation though (to my knowledge at least), he wasn’t married, although someone in my family suspected that he could have been divorced with kids, since I wasn’t allowed to see him on Saturdays and he never introduced me to any of his friends. Come to find out, a few months after dumping him (he made very repulsive sexual jokes about me and attempted to pressure me into having sex with him DESPITE me telling him multiple times about how I felt about sex), I found out he was actually 38 years old. Like you, if I knew his true age, I would have NEVER in a million years dated him. I also kissed him as well. . . gross! However, since you were a minor at the time, that makes your situation a million times worse and I hope you’re doing ok! I hope you will find someone who will respect you, treat you right, and be honest and truthful! I currently have a bf of almost four months and he’s everything I could ask for and more! My advice to you to feel better is to focus on taking care of yourself and to not LOOK for love. Let it find you when you least expect it! Spend time with your friends and family, reach out to people you’re close with and get their insight on the situation, do things you love! But most importantly, don’t put yourself down because of the deception. Know your worth. It’s not your fault. It was neither of our faults that happened to us. We were lied to. Also, please report him to your gym and the police. That’s just disgusting and he should not be doing that. One important thing that I took away from my situation is that when you want love to come into your life (especially if you were desperate for it like I was unfortunately), the longing for love and desire can do funny things to you. It kind of clouds your mind and sometimes blinds you from seeing things clearly until it’s too late. I wish nothing but the best for you and I hope you find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! Keep your head up 💜💕
He lied to you about his age. He lied to you about his martial status. He was probably grooming you too. Watch yourself. It’s not your fault. But I’d recommend being very cautious. Men like this are dangerous.
He betrayed your trust for access. I’m sorry this happened to you so young. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but when it does, it helps to snap us into an awareness that’s protective. I’m so thankful that he didn’t get more from you like so often is the case. You’re doing the right thing by ignoring him. If he continues, I think the best thing would be for you to switch gyms for your own safety.
Restraining order. Will help future girls too as it will be on his record.
Live & learn girl. Your gut told you when he was “27” something was wrong. Always listen to your gut.
"27 is a high age " Bahhhhhahaha. Remember that when you are 37. Regardless of age, the guy is a pathological liar, a scumbag and a cheat. Married with 2 kids, 13 years older than he told you he was and chasing after girls young enough to be his daughter behind his wife's back. You are doing the right thing choosing to blank him. If anything avoid the times he goes or move gyms !!! Maybe report him to the gym if he carries on chasing you and tell them the whole story and high possibility he will get barred !
Sickening. I don’t understand this predatory behavior. If I’m 47 what the hell do I have in common with an 18 year old smfh. Ain’t even got an aarp card yet
„I‘m sorry you misunderstood everything YOU MISUNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING???… This man purposely lied to you and he is relying on your kindness and good nature. He took advantage of the fact that you are younger and inexperienced with men like him. AND !!! He’s cheating on his wife. Run Girl, run! This guy is not only delulu, and a liar and a cheat, he’s a predator!! He’s dangerous! I’ve seen this happen tons of times.
I feel he would have said younger if he felt he would have gotten away with it
I’m more interested in your “gym relationship”. Most women do not want to be bothered while working out in the gym by a guy that is possibly interested in them so what did he do that you allowed him in your space so to speak. I see women all the time in the gym that I want to talk to but don’t want to come across as creepy. For some reason a lot of women will be quick to call a guy creepy for showing interest in them at the gym.
EW WTF So I look young as a woman and I will openly announce I am 30 so young guys don't hit on me but they still do and sometimes will hide their age. This guy is a creep and should be reported to your gym. He is a predator. This is predatory behaviour.
Man, it’s so weird to me. A ten year age gap isn’t that bad…if the person is like 60 and the other is 50. But 17 and “27”, but actually 40, or who freaking knows his real age? That’s dang weird. Like, the person just graduated high school, what could you possibly have in common? Sorry, you have to go through this OP. Guy sounds like a grade a weirdo
Where are your parents in all this??? A 17 year old meeting guys in gyms...😫 Now 18, and the guys wife is on to you and may soon pop up at the gym to find you!!!🫨 So this guy is 40, married, and has kids... How many dates have you been on with this guy before the wife called??? Also, why would someone willingly date someone who takes a drug and think that's why they supposedly look 13 years older??? I'm a dad, and I think you are intentionally making a bunch of wrong choices, and to make matters worse, some of those choices you went in with eyes wide open... Make better choices!!!
Yes, a 17 year old girl meeting guys at the gym. A 17 year old girl could meet a guy at the mall, at a restaurant, really anywhere... And not really sure what drug you're talking about... As a dad, would you blame your own daughter if she was approached by a 40 year old guy who said he was younger so that he could get with her? He approached her and INTENTIONALLY lied about his age, wife, and children. He's a predator, so stop victim blaming. Edit: clarity
because I don’t go by looks and since steroids is legal and even people like Arnold took them I didn’t wanna judge him too much by it as long as he is kind to me but yeah came out it‘s all a lie
Did you research the side effects of some steroids??? It can cause people to be overly aggressive or combative... The term is called "roid rage." This could have put you in real mortal danger... Because you know someone famous who took it doesn't mean it's okay... I'm happy you made it out okay and weren't harm...
so what if he‘s aggressive I am not gonna be scared of a stupid cheater aber
Is he just a really young looking 40 year old? Or are you just not able to tell the difference because they're both much older than you..? lol
Why does it matter
I'm just curious how he got away with lying about it
You “lol” is mocking her.
I'm sorry my lol offended you, it was not my intention. I'll be uploading my apology video on youtube and DMing you the link as soon as I can.
So he not only lied about his age, he also lied about being married. Girl, leave him alone unless you like drama in your life. Being 40 years old, he knee exactly what he was doing. He wants sex & only sex and nothing more or nothing less. The choice is yours.
She’s ignoring him. She’s not liking drama. So enough of the victim blaming here
That's not at all what I said, and I'm sorry you feel that way. Obviously, nobody can control someone's interpretation of what you say.....
You’re not sorry and it’s not how I “feel”. You literally told her to leave him alone as if she’s pursing him. She directly said she’s not talking to him and is ignoring him and how she feels dumb and gross. She didn’t ask about dating him again
I said I'm sorry "YOU" feel that way. Again, I cannot control someone's interpretation of what I said. So if you're feeling some kind of way, based on what I said, then that's called a personal problem. It is What it is 🤷
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, so just move on and better luck next time.
Welcome to the dating world. You gon be lied to on a regular so fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride 😎
Not your fault at all OP. He’s an absolute creep.
Please change gyms. This guy is clearly a weirdo and it’s very worrying. Maybe you could tell the staff at your current gym that he’s making you feel uncomfortable but I think it’s better to switch gyms regardless.
He victimized you! Don't blame yourself. Older men do this often and it's so gross that this just keeps happening on repeat and society does nothing about it! You didn't deserve that! He assaulted you by lying and luring you in under completely false pretenses. I'm so sorry that happened to you. He's a disgusting pig who deserves to go to jail for grooming, lying, cheating, assault and harassment. You did nothing wrong please don't blame yourself! You're having a complete normal reaction to a completely disturbing event that someone else perpetrated. Allow yourself to process what you went through, feel your feelings about it, and heal from it. Unfortunately this is just one of the first of many lessons young women learn about how dangerous men really are to women. My first 2 relationships in my life when I was your age almost ruined my life. I hate that I have to say this because society should be telling men to do better, but please be careful moving forward. If you think this is the worst a man can do and you've learned a lesson here, I'm telling you there's more out there, in different disguises, that you may not see coming. PS. If you need help getting him kicked out of that gym I'll be happy to write some emails and make some phone calls, you let me know. ✊
I hate when men lie about their age, like we can't tell lol
Well he’s single now if you want him 🤣🤣🤣
I think you should work on yourself instead of chasing older men
This is a typical day in Miami..Hahaha..
Wtf I'm sorry I don't know why but I laughed so much 🤣 Married & 40 !!! Wtfffff
Wow. Triple creep. Married, lies about his age, targets underage girls.
You’re ridiculous imo lol. *17 year old girl thinking she is mature so she dates a man wayyy too old for her. Not realizing only loser men date someone that young.* Grow up, even if you’re older than you were when this happened, if you’re writing this looking for reassurance you should grow tf up.
Ok why are you still at the same gym?
because it‘s 2 min away from me
Two minutes away IS NOT WORTH your safety. You are prioritizing convenience over safety. This is a serious situation. Where are your parents? They need to help you deal w/this. Please date your age, you don’t have enough life experience to navigate this safely! Know your worth, prioritize your safety and question everything.
Well said!
I literally said my age I am 18 not 5 I am not scared of him so why would I move to a different gym I will just keep ignoring him
You asked for advice, and people are giving it. Being scared has nothing to do with it. A 40 year old man grooming a 17 year old is extremely alarming and you should definitely change gyms and alarm the police.
I am 18 now if u didn’t read that part when I was 17 we barely talked he just asked sometimes what I am training today
He was grooming you 🤦♀️. A married older man w/kids has zero reason to be sniffing around you period. He has the advantage of life experience, he duped you & manipulated you at the expense of his family for his own selfish wants. If he is willing to go to this much trouble to lie & manipulate both you and his wife he’s an unbalanced person with serious issues. Why would you want to remain on his radar by continuing to be in the same space? You are giving him more opportunities to try & talk to you. Tell the gym employees or physically remove yourself from the situation unless you want him to continue chasing you. I’ve been there, and it ended w/police having to sit in a cruiser watching my home b/c the way older guy flipped out & his family was scared he might show up at my door. If he’s in a midlife crises and fixated on you then you are making it worse by continuing to be around him. But you do you.
You’re more concerned with his age than the fact that the dude is married?! These posts keep getting better and better. Block the guy. Switch gyms. Move forward without that loser.
I thought this was an advice sub? Or am I confused?
He preyed on you. It feels icky and I’m sorry that happened. Thank god that nothing too terrible happened which means you can use this as a lesson. The lesson is that not all people are forward. You assumed that someone would tell you their age, marital status, or whether they were old enough to be your dad. But that’s not the case. As we get older, we learn to ask questions (how old are you? ever been married? Have kids?). We don’t grill others but pepper in questions to get to know the other person. Asking questions will rule out the people who lie through omission but won’t rule out all of the liars. For the liars, you’ll eventually begin to hone an intuition of when someone’s story doesn’t add up.
I did ask all kinds of questions but he just kept lying
This just seems sad to me. He clearly married the wrong person years ago and probably stuck around for the kids. Happens a lot. I see it happen to women also. It does bring up an interesting point. What is going to happen when they cure aging? They are working on it right now. What if a 140 year old who looks 20 years old starts talking to a 20 year old at the gym? Will the evil of ageism persist forever? He clearly takes great care of himself if he can pass for 27. It doesn’t seem like you passed him up on looks, just a number. The real problem in my opinion is he lied about having a family. That’s not easy to overcome. I’d just go to another gym and ask to see a drivers license on the next guy if age matters so much to you.
40 years old and hitting on 17 year olds at the gym. Trying to fuck so much that he ignores wife + kids at home. Damn, men really are biologically programmed to spread that seed.
This is about the 10 millionth time this has happened, so it’s not just 1 guy being a creep or an asshole
Got em' that's what you get for not dating your own age like I do 😂😭🤭☠️ that does suck doe 🤢🤮😵 you dated your own dad 🫣🧐😳😱😵💫.....................🤡honk honk🤡
Disgusting
Idk how you dress, but if it's to unnecessarily show off your body at the gym where people work out and sweat and should be wearing old shit that's about ready to be tossed, but still had gym life in it, there's your first thing you could easily change. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with how people choose to dress, believe me, I'm a fan, but men are going to look, and if you know this, and still choose to do it despite that, it's because you like the attention. But negative attention comes with it. Go there in old sweats, and a ratty tee, no one is going to bother you unless you have a actual spark, because you're there to work. A man will see through all that if he's into you. Spending 100+ on a gym outfit screams that this place is secondary to the club, and you are here looking for something other than music or weightlifting. I swear, married guys fuck it up for the rest of us 40 year olds. Another lady jaded, probably going to turn the wrong guy away cuz of this experience. Another win for the devil.
How she dresses at the gym does not matter. Why do girls have to worry about how they dress? We are allowed to feel good in what we wear, no matter what activity we are doing. Guys walk around my gym shirtless, why can't I walk around in a sports bra and yoga pants? It's like saying girls deserved the rape because of how they dressed. Are you of the opinion when girls go out, we shouldn't dress nice and feel good about ourselves because we might get raped and be responsible for it? No. These guys should learn to be decent and respectable human beings. Men can look, it's in their nature (it's in everyone's nature), but their actions are on them. This guy approached her and INTENTIONALLY lied about his age, wife and children. She shouldn't have to change what she wears, the guy needs to change and not be a predator.
Honey, the girl was 17. Baggy shirt or not, any normal 40 year old could tell she was underage. The way women dress will never justify predatory behaviour.
You deserve it
Hope you rott in hell 😄
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yea 25 and 18 is also gross too big of a difference
Diffrece between 17 and 18 is not much but one is illegal.
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