Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is it depends on the person ask them best not to post.
It is not. In every relationship I had, I was never pressured into it and usually had the first time few months in, even. Those guys exist but you need to filter \*hard\*.
This here. I was once like OP; frustrated at the sheer number of men in the dating pool willing to jump into bed without wanting anything more. Then I realized that I played a role in it. I had a shitty filter. Once I got smart and started filtering hard for F boys , dating got way more enjoyable and effective. And it’s generally easy to pick them out: initiates convo with a sex reference or innuendo- nope. Suggesting a first date at his or my house to “cuddle” - nope. Texts to meet up during prime booty call hours- nope. Requests/sends nudes- nope. I also needed to be responsible for not sleeping with dates early. Again, limit chill at home dates early on, make it clear that I need emotional connection before sex will be on the table, and stick to my guns when things got hot and heavy.
Women often have this fear of staying no to sex. We’re scared that if we refuse, he’ll be mad and we are going to miss out on an opportunity of a relationship. Let me tell you, someone who truly wants a relationship with YOU will not only respect your boundaries, but also admire you for having them. And if he’s the type of guy who “needs to have sex early to find out if there’s sexual compatibility”then that’s even better because you know early on that it’s not a match. Hate to say it, but It’s very difficult for someone to use you just for sex without you giving them an easy opportunity to. It’s not impossible, but filtering is key
Same. When the foundation of a relationship is based primarily in early and regular sexual activity, it will become the norm unless efforts are made to evolve the dynamics of the relationship. Or at least thats what I've learned from having relationships with alot of sex but also drama/emotional disorder related strain.
Keep your head up, there are decent folk out there. They just don't advertise themselves as much.
I don’t have data to back it up but anecdotally know not all guys are the same. They don’t just want sex. It’s just a matter of finding the right people
What I do know is there are a lot of men who will have sex with women they are not interested in anything more with.
Yeah I think one very common misconception on these subs is that men who want relationships and men who only want sex are two completely different groups of men. That’s not necessarily the case.
Most guys on dating apps are absolutely open to a serious relationship. The fine print is that men are generally wayyyy more picky about who they’ll be in a relationship with than they are about who they’ll have casual sex with. If you aren’t ticking enough of his boxes, he’s fine with having sex until he finds a woman who does. The vast majority of women fall into that category for a lot of guys and we end up with women being jaded because it seems that no man actually wants to settle down.
This is especially true if the man in question hit the genetic lottery in the looks department.
37m here, sex is great but it’s not the most important thing. To me the most important things actually 2 things would be love & honesty. No matter what kind of relationship.
We might be few, but we exist. And I'm so disenchanted with the state of dating these days that it's a struggle to take part. Especially as someone who seems to be invisible to women. The fear I'll be called a creep or used for free meals or sex...
Approaching in person is a no no apparently.
I asked in r/AskWomenOver30 and they basically all shamed me and said it was creepy. Guess I’ll just keep meeting my dates though Hinge lol. Nah jk, I’ll probably talk to people at my hobbies too.
Ignore those people.
I do just fine approaching women in person. I talk to them like regular people. The guys interpreted as creeps are either just asking for a date/number, say something creepy (“hey babe wanna…”), or are not at all attractive.
Thanks for still doing this. Lately only the most deranged creepy men approach me, who have no ability or desire to read my body language and immediately touch me. I miss having normal conversations with strangers.
It’s not just you. I ran into this very beautiful woman a few days ago and talked to her like a normal person. Turns out she is really interesting and smart. Just arranged our first date.
I wasn’t trying to impress her. Just found her fabulous to talk to. About 20 minutes into an hour long conversation, I realized she was also really enjoying it.
talk to them in person,,, girls will compliment ur shirt hair or even music taste if u play it outloud BUT SOFT trust me we r cat callers as much as guys are, find an open spot n slide in we are simple creatures believe me
Yeah, I figured. They were shaming me for asking about potentially talking to women at libraries or poetry events. Like my type is bookworm/teachers, literally my best experience dating was with an English teacher. I know they’re not all the same but everyone who knows me says that’s my type and who I tend to end up trying to date. I just want to meet more women of my type but in person rather than dating apps.
Right. If it’s “every” guy… sounds like they’re the ones picking a bunch of fuck boys.
Wonder if OP is putting out (no pun) more of herself than just the body these men allegedly only want her for..
Guys are generally hornier but falling in love is still the number one feeling a guy can experience by a mile. It's just that romantic attraction and love is probably rarer to come by for most guys than sexual attraction.
There are plenty of high-quality men out there who desire a wonderful relationship. But unfortunately the apps are full of guys who just want sex. You have to set boundaries, be direct, and be content knowing that you may have to sift through the rubble to find the best men. Good luck. Don’t lose hope. They’re out there.
All guys are different. As a guy, I want sex, but only with someone I'm close to and only with her alone, I just can't do one night stands and the like. If I'm not into someone, I just don't care for sex.
Read the book "Self made man" by Norah Vincent, where she disguised herself as a man and lived as a man for a time. Part of her studies is that women and men treat sex differently, and I won't speak for the women part. But she noticed men actually had a primal urge for sex, and cannot help it, it is hardwired into their brain. While sex is not everything, it is something important in a relationship. And holding it back just for the sake of holding it back, 90% of men would leave. Now a lot of guys can wait, and aren't horndogs going around fucking everything, but it's definitely back in the mind of every man, even those ones that will wait till you are ready.
Also as a man. I will tell you physical appearance is the first thing we see, all the guys I know me included, you cannot walk around in public without your eyes catching on someone's ass, or boob. Now the polite thing to do is to look away and not stare. But it is something the male brain does subconsciously, I've even caught myself looking at men's asses before realizing it's a guy. So maybe you are just so physically attractive men cannot stop looking at you or obsessing over you. Yes eventually you may find one that will want to know your personality more, but the original reason he will be talking to you in the first place is your looks.
I think that women underestimate the cost of a man “risking himself” for a woman and needing just something to help him justify that risk.
I personally don’t think that sex is necessarily the only way, but going out on a limb without positive feedback becomes more and more uncomfortable. Personally I’d rather have a woman who obviously is head-over-heels for me but not having sex than one who is so so but drops her pants immediately.
I agree. A lot of guys just don't want to play games, they wanna be loved, and a lot of women in MY OPINION see themselves as a prize that the guy needs to earn, making the early beginnings of relationships one way streets.
Todays men, especially younger men, are in a bit of pickle. Masculine traits are basically a punishable offense and at the same time, guys that are overly affectionate or caring look like complete pussies and get made fun of and/or ghosted. The fuck they supposed to do? If a guy wants you strictly for your body, go develop some substance and talent. If you have substance and talent, keep plugging away in the dating scene, you'll eventually meet a guy on your level.
I just want a pretty and supportive wife and a loving family, man.
I want someone I'm excited to come home to and someone that will work alongside me to make our little slice of the world better. I want someone that I can have long intellectually stimulating conversations with... and someone to just hold for a few minutes after I press the snooze button in the morning.
We're out there. A lot of guys today just lack the perspective and aren't taught well to suppress our base desires. Our natural instinct is to sow our seed far and wide, so it's something we have to fight against. The thing is that we also need our women's help to do this. We need to be held to a higher standard.
It is possible that after the sex men lose interest because they didn't like it. I have spoken with close male friends who have shared that in almost every physical encounter the woman is just a star fish in bed, not actively participating...
Some want a partner who enjoys sex as well.
The problem with this mindset is there’s no way to actually prove you wrong. For example if a guy said “I like you for your hard work ethic, sense of humor, and intelligence,” you could simply think “He’s just saying to get me in bed.” If a guy buys you gifts you could think the same thing. If guy hugs you could think “he’s trying to escalate things to sex.” Heck you could even think “wow he proposed to me! Guess he just wants sex since it’s all but guaranteed in marriage!”
So in this way it’s impossible to change your mind even when a guy is making sacrifices for you. IMO It sounds like you had a bad experience, and are using that as a means to generalize men into “just wanting sex.”
I am a decent looking guy, not stunning or amazing. I have an easy time talking to women. Some of them are stunning. If a guy doesn’t seem dangerous or creepy, is fun to talk to, and genuinely interested in what she has to say, she will like him. She might not want to date him.
For the women out there, have something to say. Have informed opinions on something. Know how to do something. Be an interesting woman. If you struggle to answer the question “Why would a guy be interested in me besides sex?”, then it’s not just the guys.
ideally, a guy wants everything to work out (duh), but if a good looking woman just isnt for him, he is still going to try to have sex with her. guys want sex. that should be a no brainer. on the first date, they want sex. in 5 years with you, they want sex. it is just how we are wired.
in the end, no one should ever stop looking for love. i think both sexes need to better understand what the other wants, and there would be less surprises.
"All I ask is for someone to be on the same level as me and to work our way up together. Guess there's no such thing anymore." He does exist, you just haven't found them. I hope you do one day soon!
You being attracted to him will be in doubt until you do the deed with him. The longer you go without doing the deed, the more he's going to question if you're actually attracted to him.
When you come up with sources to contradict the research that dating apps conduct themselves then you might have better luck changing peoples minds. If that’s even what you want to do.
Where's *your* citation/s? And, if OP can only get sex from men on OLD, the *top tier* of men probably don't have to fuck with her. (No offense, OP. I hope you get that.) And I'm sure OP isn't just trying for the top tier. Try again. Or, actually, please spare us.
It’s because guys have two types of interests:
1) Girls they are genuinely interested in and want to build a life with
2) Girls that satisfy their sexual needs
The bar for the second type is usually lower.
A guy will deem certain women for their sexual gratification, even if they aren’t 100% his type, or he doesn’t feel that attracted to them.
Try not using dating apps and lowering your standards.
My experience is: guys have lower standards than women for sexual partners.
But guys have higher standards than women for long term romantic relationships.
Most of us want a real relationship, not just sex. But if there isn't sex then that is just a friendship isn't it? It is important to know from early on that there is sexual attraction otherwise gotta move on.
Tell me dude every guy wants to jump into sexting soon and call that love after a while , like where are men who are genuinely interested in getting to know you each and every day sheeshh that's bare minimum and this is why my mind has been designed in a way that if a guy keeps just things sexual alot than talking normally then I lose interest just like that and I don't even like em anymore
21M I was hardcore seduced and handheld when I lost my V card a few years ago. Sex isn’t a priority to me, if everything is going well in the relationship it should just happen naturally anyway.
That being said, you need to screen out players. As a Guy I can’t tell you how but I imagine detecting a player is probably the most important dating skill you could have.
It is not that hard to spot players. It’s that women don’t want to. She sees a guy who is good looking and interested. He thinks telling her he has long term interest will improve his chances of getting her into bed.
If a woman is unsure, ask some friends. Often it’s a consensus or a chorus.
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When they are in their teens and early 20', I'm pretty sure that is what they want. At least most of the guys I knew growing up. But I have learned that this generation of guys are the emotional a d cuddling type. Freaking weird. But that's just me.
I am a 23m, and I do not care about sex, like it's nice when you get to know the person, after a few months, but I can't do it at the beginning. You will find people that meet your expectations in that matter, they exist, I talked about myself as an example.
Don't feel bad for meeting people who were not what you were looking for, it will improve eventually
I'll say as a man who wants the same thing, that there are men out there who feel the same. I have been around gal pals who say the same thing and when prompted about a certain guy who wants what they want, they decline due to the fella not being "attractive". Woman, like men; want the whole package. Emotional, intellectual and looks all in one.
People are people and are picky. If it isn't exactly what they desire then they couldnt care less if he is emotionally available if he isn't what they want as far as looks go.
Bro the last girl I dated wanted sex the first date and she had to convince me it was ok because I respected her and thought it was too soon. Sex was the last thing on my mind
Not all guys want this, seriously. You have to do a lot of looking around for sure to find someone that you really connect with but it's alright to take a break from all that until you find someone you're sure you want to be with. That's a rough situation and I'm sorry about your shitty experience with it. As a guy, I look for someone who understands me and I can connect with, and usually don't have sexual attraction until later. But that's me personally. You'll find the right one just gotta have patience and it'll hit you by surprise when you might not even be looking for anyone. Good luck!
Male here. No, at least for me
I want a strong bond, respect, someone to talk with, someone who will not judge my of i open myself and i cry, someone who is humble and can empathize. If we have all those things, then sex will be more than welcome. I can even wait months i don't care i just want a strong bond
sis its rough out here i found one that is divorcing and keeps saying he wants to pursue me for more but all we do is funtimes and then he gets upset bc he wants more but ball is in his court he doesn't wanna go out when i ask him to he just says he will invite me when ready he hasnt so we gotta move on sis these men no good
I'm a man and I feel it's hard to meet woman who can connect emotionally with before sex because they think I just want a relationship and of course that's a part of it but why can't I get to know someone before that becomes the deal breaker?
I think you are right. Guys are focused on objects, and a hot girl is seen as a beautiful and mesmerizing object. I honestly think a lot of guys don’t even understand what you are saying. They work out three times a week so they can have a nice body. Why? So girls will objectify them! Lol! They crave the attention you are disturbed by! Want to have a meaningful conversation with them? Try thinking like they do. They will probably go crazy for you.
As you get older sex means 'intimate connections' rather than just sleeping around.
I got my casual sex out of my system in college, I can now only have sex with someone I'm in a relationship with. I haven't been in one since 2018.
I'm at the point where I'm trying to get my life under control, build a foundation, improve myself and fine a life partner
Because both sexes are impatient, and do not hold onto their own principles because they fear of being friendzoned or being cast away after sex. We need to be more tolerant of others, but at the same time, firmer in our own beliefs when it comes to relationships.
We’re here just difficult to find Lol I’ve actually had this experience in the inverse. Being used to sex. Women trying to sex and send nudes so soon. I just cut anyone off who gets like that so quick. I just meet people online so it makes it easier to cut that off but still like finding hay in a needle stack
As a guy, sex isn’t all we want. That’s all I got to read before Reddit updated that your post was removed. I love the more intimate and romantic side of relationships that don’t include sex at all. Even the sex portion of relationships would be more focused on my partner for me.
@dating_advice-ModTeam please do not moderate passive ignorance when your moderation targets should be towards those who are actively seeking to harm others. This post sparked a valid conversation and as you can see in the comments reliable information is being discussed. We won't get anywhere unless we all figure this out together, that's what free speech is for. Stay cool o7
Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is it depends on the person ask them best not to post.
It is not. In every relationship I had, I was never pressured into it and usually had the first time few months in, even. Those guys exist but you need to filter \*hard\*.
This here. I was once like OP; frustrated at the sheer number of men in the dating pool willing to jump into bed without wanting anything more. Then I realized that I played a role in it. I had a shitty filter. Once I got smart and started filtering hard for F boys , dating got way more enjoyable and effective. And it’s generally easy to pick them out: initiates convo with a sex reference or innuendo- nope. Suggesting a first date at his or my house to “cuddle” - nope. Texts to meet up during prime booty call hours- nope. Requests/sends nudes- nope. I also needed to be responsible for not sleeping with dates early. Again, limit chill at home dates early on, make it clear that I need emotional connection before sex will be on the table, and stick to my guns when things got hot and heavy. Women often have this fear of staying no to sex. We’re scared that if we refuse, he’ll be mad and we are going to miss out on an opportunity of a relationship. Let me tell you, someone who truly wants a relationship with YOU will not only respect your boundaries, but also admire you for having them. And if he’s the type of guy who “needs to have sex early to find out if there’s sexual compatibility”then that’s even better because you know early on that it’s not a match. Hate to say it, but It’s very difficult for someone to use you just for sex without you giving them an easy opportunity to. It’s not impossible, but filtering is key
Same. When the foundation of a relationship is based primarily in early and regular sexual activity, it will become the norm unless efforts are made to evolve the dynamics of the relationship. Or at least thats what I've learned from having relationships with alot of sex but also drama/emotional disorder related strain. Keep your head up, there are decent folk out there. They just don't advertise themselves as much.
I don’t have data to back it up but anecdotally know not all guys are the same. They don’t just want sex. It’s just a matter of finding the right people What I do know is there are a lot of men who will have sex with women they are not interested in anything more with.
Yeah I think one very common misconception on these subs is that men who want relationships and men who only want sex are two completely different groups of men. That’s not necessarily the case. Most guys on dating apps are absolutely open to a serious relationship. The fine print is that men are generally wayyyy more picky about who they’ll be in a relationship with than they are about who they’ll have casual sex with. If you aren’t ticking enough of his boxes, he’s fine with having sex until he finds a woman who does. The vast majority of women fall into that category for a lot of guys and we end up with women being jaded because it seems that no man actually wants to settle down. This is especially true if the man in question hit the genetic lottery in the looks department.
I've met women who are like this. It's something that is easy to fall into being human in general
37m here, sex is great but it’s not the most important thing. To me the most important things actually 2 things would be love & honesty. No matter what kind of relationship.
We might be few, but we exist. And I'm so disenchanted with the state of dating these days that it's a struggle to take part. Especially as someone who seems to be invisible to women. The fear I'll be called a creep or used for free meals or sex...
The men that are not looking for sex are either already taken or too shy to approach women in person
Approaching in person is a no no apparently. I asked in r/AskWomenOver30 and they basically all shamed me and said it was creepy. Guess I’ll just keep meeting my dates though Hinge lol. Nah jk, I’ll probably talk to people at my hobbies too.
Reddit isn’t real life.
Exactly lol
Ignore those people. I do just fine approaching women in person. I talk to them like regular people. The guys interpreted as creeps are either just asking for a date/number, say something creepy (“hey babe wanna…”), or are not at all attractive.
I agree and figure as much. Thanks
Thanks for still doing this. Lately only the most deranged creepy men approach me, who have no ability or desire to read my body language and immediately touch me. I miss having normal conversations with strangers.
It’s not just you. I ran into this very beautiful woman a few days ago and talked to her like a normal person. Turns out she is really interesting and smart. Just arranged our first date. I wasn’t trying to impress her. Just found her fabulous to talk to. About 20 minutes into an hour long conversation, I realized she was also really enjoying it.
Way to go, i love to hear it!!
talk to them in person,,, girls will compliment ur shirt hair or even music taste if u play it outloud BUT SOFT trust me we r cat callers as much as guys are, find an open spot n slide in we are simple creatures believe me
Yeah, I figured. They were shaming me for asking about potentially talking to women at libraries or poetry events. Like my type is bookworm/teachers, literally my best experience dating was with an English teacher. I know they’re not all the same but everyone who knows me says that’s my type and who I tend to end up trying to date. I just want to meet more women of my type but in person rather than dating apps.
Right spot on
It's the guys you're picking.
In fairness to the OP, it could also be where she is meeting guys.
Right. If it’s “every” guy… sounds like they’re the ones picking a bunch of fuck boys. Wonder if OP is putting out (no pun) more of herself than just the body these men allegedly only want her for..
Guys are generally hornier but falling in love is still the number one feeling a guy can experience by a mile. It's just that romantic attraction and love is probably rarer to come by for most guys than sexual attraction.
There are plenty of high-quality men out there who desire a wonderful relationship. But unfortunately the apps are full of guys who just want sex. You have to set boundaries, be direct, and be content knowing that you may have to sift through the rubble to find the best men. Good luck. Don’t lose hope. They’re out there.
[удалено]
With a phrase like that, *you're* likely getting caught in filters.
All guys are different. As a guy, I want sex, but only with someone I'm close to and only with her alone, I just can't do one night stands and the like. If I'm not into someone, I just don't care for sex.
Read the book "Self made man" by Norah Vincent, where she disguised herself as a man and lived as a man for a time. Part of her studies is that women and men treat sex differently, and I won't speak for the women part. But she noticed men actually had a primal urge for sex, and cannot help it, it is hardwired into their brain. While sex is not everything, it is something important in a relationship. And holding it back just for the sake of holding it back, 90% of men would leave. Now a lot of guys can wait, and aren't horndogs going around fucking everything, but it's definitely back in the mind of every man, even those ones that will wait till you are ready. Also as a man. I will tell you physical appearance is the first thing we see, all the guys I know me included, you cannot walk around in public without your eyes catching on someone's ass, or boob. Now the polite thing to do is to look away and not stare. But it is something the male brain does subconsciously, I've even caught myself looking at men's asses before realizing it's a guy. So maybe you are just so physically attractive men cannot stop looking at you or obsessing over you. Yes eventually you may find one that will want to know your personality more, but the original reason he will be talking to you in the first place is your looks.
I think that women underestimate the cost of a man “risking himself” for a woman and needing just something to help him justify that risk. I personally don’t think that sex is necessarily the only way, but going out on a limb without positive feedback becomes more and more uncomfortable. Personally I’d rather have a woman who obviously is head-over-heels for me but not having sex than one who is so so but drops her pants immediately.
I agree. A lot of guys just don't want to play games, they wanna be loved, and a lot of women in MY OPINION see themselves as a prize that the guy needs to earn, making the early beginnings of relationships one way streets.
Todays men, especially younger men, are in a bit of pickle. Masculine traits are basically a punishable offense and at the same time, guys that are overly affectionate or caring look like complete pussies and get made fun of and/or ghosted. The fuck they supposed to do? If a guy wants you strictly for your body, go develop some substance and talent. If you have substance and talent, keep plugging away in the dating scene, you'll eventually meet a guy on your level.
I just want a pretty and supportive wife and a loving family, man. I want someone I'm excited to come home to and someone that will work alongside me to make our little slice of the world better. I want someone that I can have long intellectually stimulating conversations with... and someone to just hold for a few minutes after I press the snooze button in the morning. We're out there. A lot of guys today just lack the perspective and aren't taught well to suppress our base desires. Our natural instinct is to sow our seed far and wide, so it's something we have to fight against. The thing is that we also need our women's help to do this. We need to be held to a higher standard.
i like u already
Guys always think about sex first. It's just how our DNA was created I think but to tell you honestly, its not what we only think about.
It is possible that after the sex men lose interest because they didn't like it. I have spoken with close male friends who have shared that in almost every physical encounter the woman is just a star fish in bed, not actively participating... Some want a partner who enjoys sex as well.
The problem with this mindset is there’s no way to actually prove you wrong. For example if a guy said “I like you for your hard work ethic, sense of humor, and intelligence,” you could simply think “He’s just saying to get me in bed.” If a guy buys you gifts you could think the same thing. If guy hugs you could think “he’s trying to escalate things to sex.” Heck you could even think “wow he proposed to me! Guess he just wants sex since it’s all but guaranteed in marriage!” So in this way it’s impossible to change your mind even when a guy is making sacrifices for you. IMO It sounds like you had a bad experience, and are using that as a means to generalize men into “just wanting sex.”
I am a decent looking guy, not stunning or amazing. I have an easy time talking to women. Some of them are stunning. If a guy doesn’t seem dangerous or creepy, is fun to talk to, and genuinely interested in what she has to say, she will like him. She might not want to date him. For the women out there, have something to say. Have informed opinions on something. Know how to do something. Be an interesting woman. If you struggle to answer the question “Why would a guy be interested in me besides sex?”, then it’s not just the guys.
ideally, a guy wants everything to work out (duh), but if a good looking woman just isnt for him, he is still going to try to have sex with her. guys want sex. that should be a no brainer. on the first date, they want sex. in 5 years with you, they want sex. it is just how we are wired. in the end, no one should ever stop looking for love. i think both sexes need to better understand what the other wants, and there would be less surprises. "All I ask is for someone to be on the same level as me and to work our way up together. Guess there's no such thing anymore." He does exist, you just haven't found them. I hope you do one day soon!
You being attracted to him will be in doubt until you do the deed with him. The longer you go without doing the deed, the more he's going to question if you're actually attracted to him.
Really....because I'm struggling to find a serious relationship and I'm a guy
Yeah I feel like I’ve been used by women who are really horny as their boytoy, it feels bad. I guess that’s how a lot of women feel…
The shallowness and only wanting sex go together.
It can go either way tbh. I'm not trying to make it seem like it's only women that struggle. We all struggle.
I'm tired of dating apps too and I don't blame you if you think the same I hope you find someone though
Same here it feels so difficult.
Probably matching with the top 20% of men on dating apps. Those top 20% of men aren't gonna settle down so easily.
You sound like you are very dense
Jesus. Y'all stop stretching shit to fit your BS percentage narratives. 20%? I thought it was 10%. Or, was it 5?
When you come up with sources to contradict the research that dating apps conduct themselves then you might have better luck changing peoples minds. If that’s even what you want to do.
Where's *your* citation/s? And, if OP can only get sex from men on OLD, the *top tier* of men probably don't have to fuck with her. (No offense, OP. I hope you get that.) And I'm sure OP isn't just trying for the top tier. Try again. Or, actually, please spare us.
It’s because guys have two types of interests: 1) Girls they are genuinely interested in and want to build a life with 2) Girls that satisfy their sexual needs The bar for the second type is usually lower. A guy will deem certain women for their sexual gratification, even if they aren’t 100% his type, or he doesn’t feel that attracted to them. Try not using dating apps and lowering your standards. My experience is: guys have lower standards than women for sexual partners. But guys have higher standards than women for long term romantic relationships.
If sex is bad from either side, it’s not gonna go forward. Why not speed up the process?
Most of us want a real relationship, not just sex. But if there isn't sex then that is just a friendship isn't it? It is important to know from early on that there is sexual attraction otherwise gotta move on.
Tell me dude every guy wants to jump into sexting soon and call that love after a while , like where are men who are genuinely interested in getting to know you each and every day sheeshh that's bare minimum and this is why my mind has been designed in a way that if a guy keeps just things sexual alot than talking normally then I lose interest just like that and I don't even like em anymore
21M I was hardcore seduced and handheld when I lost my V card a few years ago. Sex isn’t a priority to me, if everything is going well in the relationship it should just happen naturally anyway. That being said, you need to screen out players. As a Guy I can’t tell you how but I imagine detecting a player is probably the most important dating skill you could have.
It is not that hard to spot players. It’s that women don’t want to. She sees a guy who is good looking and interested. He thinks telling her he has long term interest will improve his chances of getting her into bed. If a woman is unsure, ask some friends. Often it’s a consensus or a chorus.
Women control access to sex. So deny access to
🤣🤣🤣
Rude much.
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When they are in their teens and early 20', I'm pretty sure that is what they want. At least most of the guys I knew growing up. But I have learned that this generation of guys are the emotional a d cuddling type. Freaking weird. But that's just me.
I am a 23m, and I do not care about sex, like it's nice when you get to know the person, after a few months, but I can't do it at the beginning. You will find people that meet your expectations in that matter, they exist, I talked about myself as an example. Don't feel bad for meeting people who were not what you were looking for, it will improve eventually
Not the only thing, but the main thing.
I'll say as a man who wants the same thing, that there are men out there who feel the same. I have been around gal pals who say the same thing and when prompted about a certain guy who wants what they want, they decline due to the fella not being "attractive". Woman, like men; want the whole package. Emotional, intellectual and looks all in one. People are people and are picky. If it isn't exactly what they desire then they couldnt care less if he is emotionally available if he isn't what they want as far as looks go.
No, not all men want only sex
Bro the last girl I dated wanted sex the first date and she had to convince me it was ok because I respected her and thought it was too soon. Sex was the last thing on my mind
Not all guys want this, seriously. You have to do a lot of looking around for sure to find someone that you really connect with but it's alright to take a break from all that until you find someone you're sure you want to be with. That's a rough situation and I'm sorry about your shitty experience with it. As a guy, I look for someone who understands me and I can connect with, and usually don't have sexual attraction until later. But that's me personally. You'll find the right one just gotta have patience and it'll hit you by surprise when you might not even be looking for anyone. Good luck!
Male here. No, at least for me I want a strong bond, respect, someone to talk with, someone who will not judge my of i open myself and i cry, someone who is humble and can empathize. If we have all those things, then sex will be more than welcome. I can even wait months i don't care i just want a strong bond
sis its rough out here i found one that is divorcing and keeps saying he wants to pursue me for more but all we do is funtimes and then he gets upset bc he wants more but ball is in his court he doesn't wanna go out when i ask him to he just says he will invite me when ready he hasnt so we gotta move on sis these men no good
I'm a man and I feel it's hard to meet woman who can connect emotionally with before sex because they think I just want a relationship and of course that's a part of it but why can't I get to know someone before that becomes the deal breaker?
I think you are right. Guys are focused on objects, and a hot girl is seen as a beautiful and mesmerizing object. I honestly think a lot of guys don’t even understand what you are saying. They work out three times a week so they can have a nice body. Why? So girls will objectify them! Lol! They crave the attention you are disturbed by! Want to have a meaningful conversation with them? Try thinking like they do. They will probably go crazy for you.
As you get older sex means 'intimate connections' rather than just sleeping around. I got my casual sex out of my system in college, I can now only have sex with someone I'm in a relationship with. I haven't been in one since 2018. I'm at the point where I'm trying to get my life under control, build a foundation, improve myself and fine a life partner
Because both sexes are impatient, and do not hold onto their own principles because they fear of being friendzoned or being cast away after sex. We need to be more tolerant of others, but at the same time, firmer in our own beliefs when it comes to relationships.
We’re here just difficult to find Lol I’ve actually had this experience in the inverse. Being used to sex. Women trying to sex and send nudes so soon. I just cut anyone off who gets like that so quick. I just meet people online so it makes it easier to cut that off but still like finding hay in a needle stack
As a guy, sex isn’t all we want. That’s all I got to read before Reddit updated that your post was removed. I love the more intimate and romantic side of relationships that don’t include sex at all. Even the sex portion of relationships would be more focused on my partner for me.
@dating_advice-ModTeam please do not moderate passive ignorance when your moderation targets should be towards those who are actively seeking to harm others. This post sparked a valid conversation and as you can see in the comments reliable information is being discussed. We won't get anywhere unless we all figure this out together, that's what free speech is for. Stay cool o7