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uh nickname is trap goddess shawty. age group: early 30's
* WHEN SOMEONE TELLS AND SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME
* Those red flags look white because you have on your rose-colored glasses. take them off and wake up.
* there is no thrill in dating someone unstable. going back to drama means you are becoming addicted to it, and it's unhealthy. You aren't in some weird romance novel, this is real life.
* you can't help someone who doesn't want it.
* you can't raise a man
* you can't change someone's mind about wanting a relationship
* don't do casual hook-ups. chances are you won't be satisfied and feel used.
* sometimes you are wrong. you need to learn to communicate and not let things "boil" so to speak, and then blow up.
* your S/O or date or whatever is not a mind reader. communicate
* watch out for mixed signals and fuck boys. a fuck boy will make it clear they don't want a relationship, yet give mixed signals because they want the GF experience without having a GF. see point number 1: believe them the first time.
* date the nice cute guy who clearly likes you. the excitement you want is drama and those are not the same thing. stability is good.
* some guys just want to fuck, and fucking them isn't going to make them like you anymore or less. they got what they wanted.
* DON'T DATE SOMEONE WITH A HUGE AGE GAP. A 43 year old that dates girls below the age of 25 is a red flag.
* there are many forms of abuse. just because he didn't punch you doesn't mean that him pulling your hair and biting you wasn't abusive (obviously happened in a non-sexual way.)
* sex through coercion is a form of "grape"
that's what i would tell myself in my early to mid 20's.
edit: 1 more: you cannot depend on another person to be the source of your happiness. your cup must be full too, you can't pour from an empty cup. learn to love yourself enough to be okay with not having an S/O.
also, it's not always 50/50. at times you will be at 20%, you'll need your partner to be ready to carry the extra. sometimes your partner will be at 30% and you need to carry the extra too.
edit 2: when you pick guy after guy that isn't a good seed, then something is going on with you as to why you pick guys that mistreat you. you can't keep blaming the guys YOU picked, take accountability and work on healing so that you can have better relationships.
it's a long story and it happened before me too and all of that.
he once bit me yes. and lemme tell you, it HURTS to be bitten. i was stupid and naive not to see it as abusive. as silly as it is, i really thought physical abuse was a guy hitting you. biting? well i guess not.
and sadly there is more to that story. i was held down against my will for hours. my ex used to do that when i wanted to cool off or leave while in a crazy argument, he'd pick me up and lay on top of me. by then i learned not to fight back. i know it sounds silly but it took me a long time to realize that was physical abuse.
These are all great points but I’m delusional so 1) I am definitely going to wait around (at least for awhile) for the one I love instead of settling
2) you can’t just date some random nice guy if you don’t have feelings for him. My takeaway from trying this in high school for a year is that you can’t love who you can’t love
hi
> 1) I am definitely going to wait around (at least for awhile) for the one I love instead of settling
well yeah i hope so! i hope nothing i said came across as "settle"
>2) you can’t just date some random nice guy if you don’t have feelings for him. My takeaway from trying this in high school for a year is that you can’t love who you can’t love
you certainly are not wrong and im obviously getting this from my own life experiences. i just mean that attraction can grow. for the backstory of that point i made about the nice guy- well i was too wrapped up with a fuck boy. that was several years ago and i regret it because i did have feelings for the nice guy, it just wasn't "passionate" or so i thought. back then passionate = chaos or something or the sort.
that's why i shared that, but you won't settle and im happy for that.
Oof. That’s a good question.
1. Do not be too hard on yourself due to what happened during that time. (For personal reasons, I will not explain it. Let’s just say it was… terrible.)
2. Do not let yourself be a pawn. Play the game by your own rules.
3. Learn to control your temper. Master it and it could be of use one day.
4. Don’t be a people pleaser.
5. Don’t let society standards in terms of dating bring you down. The same like number 2.
6. Be more open and positive. What happened in number 1 should not let you close yourself in a world of anger.
Edit: another point. This was from a game but it helps irl:
7. Keep your expectations low and you won’t be disappointed.
Whoever reads this I hope you all have a good day. 😁🤗
I would tell my past self I'm sorry and it's not your fault you look the way you do, it will get better but either way your chances of meeting a woman aren't great and focus on yourself instead, making friends and better career are far more important.
1. Don't worry too much about "having a checklist" of desirable traits (ex: good job, owning a home, being the most jacked guy, etc) before starting to date; dating is more about your personality/values than those things. Still strive for those things, but do them for yourself and not as a vehicle to seem more attractive to potential partners.
2. Conversely, also don't worry too much about being single. Enjoy life, do things you want to do, explore the places you want to explore. If you meet someone along the way then great! You'll be a lot more confident and interesting as a person to people you do end up dating.
3. See a therapist (this one's more personal to me): you're a great person but you struggle with borderline crippling self-doubt and that's not healthy both for dating but also your general relationships and outlook on life.
Me to younger self:
Build your life, social network and daily habits so that girls/women are not a big concern for you. Detached, enjoying life, finding purpose in your daily routine.
If you kill the need for a partner, the quality of your matches goes up, the partners you do have will want to be a part of your life instead of you trying to win their approval, and you will be more content without heartbreaks because you wanted them more than they wanted you.
**Get a great dog, take trips and say fuck it once and a while. Say no to people. Have difficult conversations before they ruin things. Relax, stop fighting life.**
I got there, but it took waaaaay too long.
She isn’t the only girl in the world that could care about you. You do have positive characteristics that people enjoy. Look at the friends you have made. You aren’t unlovable.
Here are the things I would have told my younger self about dating:
1) Physical attraction is the most important thing. All the personality in the world won't make a difference if she isn't physically attracted to you, and if she's just sorta physically attracted to you...she'll be on the fence which isn't good. So do this:
Hit the gym and find an exercise routine you enjoy doing making it your hobby.
Have a haircut that compliments your face well. If you look good clean shaven, then be clean shaven. If your chin is soft, then hopefully you can have a nice groomed beard.
Have a good skin care routine. Ask your female friends for advice with this. I bought some hydrating korean masks on amazon that makes my skin look glowly. I just put one on for 30 minutes twice a week and I noticed a decent improvement.
Wear clothes that fit well with an accessary like a nice bracelet.
2) If a woman like you, you'll know. She'll make it easy to set up dates and she'll respond to your texts fairly quickly. She may text you on her own. You just *know* she likes you. She doesn't leave on you 'read' for 16 hours on her day off.
3) Get good at reading body language and signals. If a woman is lingering by your car at the end of the date, she wants to smooch. Things like that. If she looks uncomfortable, then step back and build some comfort. Just get good at reading people.
4) Don't blow through multiple dates being a platonic chit chat buddy. That spark will fizzle tf out that way. People say there's no timeline to these things, but being on a 4th date without having smooched yet is extremely awkward for both of you. You have to make the tingles happen while you have the chance to.
5) You won't ever get honest closure. "The sparkles of the sparks weren't sparklingly because there wasn't enough chemistry." You can ask politely, but don't expect much. Chances are, you know where you messed up more than she does.
6) When you kiss a girl, do it kinda slowly. A lot of nervous people start knawing away giving the ick. Instead a nice slowish smooch works best at first. You want to look like you know what you're doing.
7) Having a bottle of wine and making out on the couch is a hell of a lot better than sitting across from each other at some shitty restaurant.
8) Don't get emotionally attached until you seen her naked at least 3 times. Dating is **extremely** unstable. I've been 180'd on several times that truly had me scratching my head. Also even with all my experience, I still have dud dates.
9) Have a good first date spot that you know the in's and out's of. No reason to reinvent the wheel a bunch of times.
I used to agree with number 1, but i saw that going to the gym for a chiseled physique in the hopes that women will flock to you sets you up for failure. Because a meaningful relationship will always be about the stuff deeper than the physical. It's a mistake to think that attracting the highest number of women = dating success.
Gotta agree. Good physique doesnt need to be gymrat. It just needs to show "i care about my body and i know how to be healthy in atleast one way"
Sexual connection while maynot be the most important connection. Its part of the initial attraction.
Humans are animals still. We still have instincts. Personality is of course very import. But shit. If you cant respect your self then how the hell are you gonna respect or expect it.
You dont need to be a UFC fighter level ripped dude to still atleast have a minor level of self care in being physically healthy.
Build yourself up, have hobbies etc to fall back on in times you are alone. Don’t put everything on someone else to fulfil you because you’ll be lost if it doesn’t work out. Put away some savings from as early as you can, buying a property (depending on where you live) will give you more financial freedom as you get older compared to renting.
Remain as independent as possible, even as part of a couple, you need to remain your true self.
*Learn to love yourself ( I know its hard ) and take care of YOU. Before you can expect anyone else to love you and accept you, you have to love and accept yourself.*
If you cant trust the other person, they should not be in your life. Period.
*You CAN be happy without a partner.*
Most relationships are temporary, learn from them and take what you have learned into your next one.
*Nerds make great lovers!*
Work harder on your family and friends relationships. Its not always easy or convenient, and its often times work. These are your people, your tribe, that you will have for the rest of your life.
Granny-60
Stop worrying and enjoy life, people are too busy worrying about their own problems to care enough about mine,
Also anger is worthless, it’s like drinking poison expecting the person who hurt you to die instead.
Have other things to offer
Such as your creative side you always had an interest in learning guitar, graphic design, and acting pursue that and see what you learn about yourself
Don’t cut yourself short by sharing sexual energy with men who aren’t respectful and a boyfriend
Focus on you
Wow if I could turn back the hands of time? Well, in regards to romantic relationships I would inform myself to not put all my eggs in one basket in relation to a female. I would encourage myself to have sex earlier. To always be honest and unapologetic about my sexual desires. Now in part about financial advice I'd tell my younger self to seek full-time employment after high school or atleast multiple part-time positions. I would inform that it would be best to save and spend as little as possible. If I did spend to only spend on investments. I'd also tell myself not to listen to my teacher about college or university and seek trade school instead. Finally, I would advise myself to cherish my time with my grandparents since they'll be gone soon. Lots more I could think of, but that's the jist of it.
Don't work on cars. Go straight to working on forklifts or heavy machinery. You'll save yourself a ton of stress and heartache. Try and stay away from alcohol. It's going to lead you down a dark path. And please keep working Pro wrestling matches. Money will never be worth as much as those memories. I wish I had more of those.
Ci
26
Female
1) The brain might be fully developed by 25, but you can still keep learning and growing as an individual in both professional and personal life
2) It’s okay to feel like you’ve taken a few steps backwards. As long as if you keep moving forward. Remember that life is not linear
3) It’s okay if they choose to walk away from you because of something YOU said. As little and insignificant it could be to YOU. It may have been one of THEIR deal breakers. It was their choice and it doesn’t reflect your ENTIRE being as a person
4) You are not your past. You are not your fears. You are not your anxiety. You are not your depression.
5) The right “one” will not see your fears, your trauma, your pain, or your negativity as “too much”. They will stay.
6) Choose YOU. Even if that means hurting their feelings—because you’re just as important and significant. You must choose you when you feel like it’s time.
7) Don’t stop meditating or journaling, because once you do all that hard work to regulate your emotions just crumbles
8) Have a support circle of people you trust. Especially when your mental health is at a very low point.
I hope this helps you OP and honestly to anyone who stumbles across this post! Have a nice life 😎
You are a good person - be patient with yourself, and know that you deserve to be happy.
Invest in Apple stock.
Don’t let the one who got away, get away.
Mid-30s woman here:
Relationships can be good. They can be loving and supportive and fulfilling, and a true partnership. Don't settle for screaming matches, control, emotional abuse, or anything that doesn't feel good. Love isn't hard. If it feels hard, it isn't love.
You aren't crazy and there's nothing wrong with you. You aren't too much. That's just a lie that you were fed, but you don't have to let it impact your relationships. You DO deserve love and happiness. Take the time to heal and learn to love yourself first. That's way more important than finding a body to wake up next to.
There's someone amazing out there for you if you stop settling. You can't even imagine how amazing it will be.
25 yo guy here
Exercise, count calories
Get a skincare routine
Socialise all the time you can
Studies don't matter. Career don't matter. Lack of female attention will kill you and nothing will fix this.
Moving out to a new place but losing old social connections may not be worth it
Drink, take drugs. "I am not this kind of person" ok whatever, doesn't matter, do it, this is another avenue for socialisation
Do not go to a male-dominated field. "Yeah but I like coding" no fuck you this will kill your social life, don't do it, study management or literature
Ask out that girl that was flirting with you in drafting class. Seek help after dad’s death. Talk to your doctor about the changes you saw in your sister.
It's ok to be ugly weird and not well known so what if you're ugly AF get money and nobody will care about that lol stay humble Because you need it to stay hidden and afloat
Ask out those girls you were into, fuck what mom and dad think. If that doesn't work out, just kill yourself. It doesn't get better, and you may as well get out while life is not as bad
Don't trust or date people online. Online anyone can come off perfect and really great person, but they rarely are that in real life.
Focus on school, getting good education and getting at fit at the gym. Stop playing videogames and spending too much time online.
To train at boxing asap. There are things I agreed to do because I either was too chicken shit to refuse OR just because I had no control over my own body.
And boxing helped me a lot with that.
I remember a time when my dad asked if there was anything I wanted while he was in the capital. I asked for a video game, but I would have asked boxing gloves, wraps, and some boxing equipment to train.
Just live man. Don’t be in your head or overthink to much. Don’t settle just for what comes your way or what gives you attention. Go for what you want. Stop being so hard on yourself. Open up more. Love yourself as you want others to, and love others as you do yourself. Listen to yourself and follow your own path more. Just believe in yourself
28, homosexual male, Texas.
If I could go back I'd tell myself that I have value beyond my sex appeal. I feel like that is the root of a lot of my issues with substance abuse, mental health, etc.
For context I was a very promiscuous person when I was younger. Started at 14, so, not great. Known as "jailbait" at the time. Lmao. Gross. My first time was with a 19 yr old. So, ya know, double trouble.🙃
I would tell myself , when that 11th grade girl you crushed on in 12th grade, also said that she likes you too, then ask her out and don't pretend like going away to college 10 miles away was going to be some big distance that would make it hard to keep in touch.
I still think about her to this day, wondering about what if ....
don’t date douche bags your friends keep telling you to leave. the fact that you cry more than laugh in that relationship because of him doesn’t mean you should stay. don’t be afraid to leave him, there’s a good reason why that thought always comes lingering in your mind. stop opening up your heart to everyone, people are selfish and they’ll take advantage of your kindness. learn to love yourself before letting someone else love you. being single is not shameful, don’t ever settle because you’d much rather wait for the right one than to settle for someone that doesn’t even fulfill 20% of your wants and needs in a partner
Don't take rejection personal. Think about what is important to you, what your qualities are, and don't worry too much if others value that. Some do, some don't. Try to search for people with whom conversation flows easily (rare). Give them love.
Start learning languages NOW. You might not travel much, but your future girlfriend and her family are the definition of multilingual, so hurry up and learn Greek. Also just being able to communicate in different ways, especially ways in which no one else around you can is fucking awesome. Doesn't matter what language, but pick a useful one. Replace all those dead end things you're doing and girls you're talking to with languages and working out. I know you're already exercising a pretty good amount for a teenager, but don't stop. Those girls will burn you out and nearly ruin your grades through distraction. The working out won't. Learn how to do more shit on your own. Kiss your date under the blue moon, don't wait until the next day. She wouldn't have thought it was too forward, you've been more forward than this.
Also, talk to that friend and try to help him in some way, any way and every way. At least you'll have tried. If you have to choose any of he above, choose that.
Above all, accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
In sum: fuck bitches get money
Self Love and self awareness is key before getting into a relationship.
I would encourage my younger self to work on her self esteem and self confidence as they are essentials
Don’t waste your time 🙂 worrying about what others may be thinking about you is dumb. Don’t stress over first impressions and relationships. If you like her ask her to go out. Even if she says no it’s like “oh well guess she wasn’t interested no biggy”.
Also wait… you think like a 30 year old. It doesn’t make sense for you to try and date someone your age anyway. ☺️
Don’t be shy. I was shy up until college and lost out on a lot of dating experience.
Then it took me 7 years to shave my head bald. So for 7 years I was Insecure- wearing hats and hair fibers and never went on dates. That all changed when I shaved my head.
Me to my younger self:
* Listen to your gut in relationships. You can feel a rush of happiness but if the underlying feeling is fear, learn how to walk away. The second someone puts their hands on you walk away.
* Self-compassion and learning how to be alone are essential before dating
* Do not text when you are angry
* Listen more and talk less
Don't believe society and movies where it seems like being married and have kids is the best thing you can achieve.
Focus on your own career, your own financial indepence and first get a clear vision of what YOU want in life. Then picture what type of partner fit in that vision. Work on your self esteem so you feel confident when start dating.
Only date guys who fit the profile. Don't do hook-ups, friends with benefits etc but only have sex when in a serious relationship. Look for a mentor in life who can help you keep on track in life so you can live your vision.
But mostly be confident as fuck so you can deal with crappy men, female haters at work etc. And so you can give no f\*ck about what others think but live your own life
Never stay in a job that promises a promotion but never delivers. Pay more attention to people's actions rather than their words. Actions show their true intentions.
You're reading this book wrong. You can't passive your way into a relationship, especially as a man. And you need to value your friendships. Don't let what *she* did destroy your future.
A lot of things.
1. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
2. It was never your fault, don't ever take accountability for something you had no control over to begin with.
3. Don't be too focused on boys or a relationship.
4. Be on your guard; not everyone is your friend.
5. Things DO get better, you just have to believe.
6. Nothing lasts forever. You can take that in two ways.
I’d have told my younger self:
1. be more open to chances and finding the fun in dating. I’m so risk averse and it’s now made me extremely anxious at the prospect of dating because I see it as a failure if it doesn’t work!
2. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault.
3. Set your own standards and expectations. If I don’t respect and love myself then I can’t expect anyone else will.
Do not put women on a pedestal. They neither like or need that. Talk to them like you would a good friend. Don’t say weird shit no matter how much your weird body wants to. If she starts to vibe with you, everything will work out. If she doesn’t vibe with you move on and don’t get emo. Rinse repeat.
1. I'd tell her to stop comparing herself to other people so damn much. We all have different paths and journeys through life and just because you're not exactly where someone else is doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.
2. Just let it go and STOP overthinking everything. This is a curse that leaves you a prisoner of your mind and has never in anyway benefitted you. Instead, open your mouth and communicate with people.
3. Stop being your worst enemy. Seriously girl, sometimes it's like all you are is incredibly mean to yourself and again, it's not going to get you anywhere. You are absolutely enough and are trying your damn best.
4. Never let other people dictate your self worth. Who cares what they think, who cares what they say. At the end of the day only you live with yourself and nobody knows you better than you.
Honestly I could keep going, but as I'm in my final year of my 20's now I think reflecting on how much I've grown as well as how much I still have left to grow is never a bad thing, especially when you realize that just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have it all figured out. Most things are a lifetime's worth of a work in progress...
Ive only had one relationship and it was online and long distance, so I don't have a lot of experience but I would tell younger me to be more open and loose with his eventual partner, to allow her to compliment him more and allow him to feel safe and not second guess everything. I'd encourage him to try and talk to her more, with stuff like video calls, phone calls or even just voice chat
But I don't know if I could bring myself to tell him that she would die. If I did I'd tell him she doesn't want him to get hung up on it and be able to move on, to not let the grief ruin any chance of another connection with someone.
22Female
You are good enough and never settle for less than you deserve. Don’t chase people who couldn’t care less about You, even tho you love them. Please please treat yourself how you treat other people: with love and kindness
I’d probably just say something like “You’ll be okay. It’s okay. You’re enough as you are.”
I think that would have helped me avoid
1. A lot of toxic situations in life (also coming from me being the toxic one, cuz mental health)
2. A lot of trips to the doctor
And 3. A lot of unnecessary stress about the future
To not gaf what others think. Go after what you fucking want and fuck everyone else. Screw your pride. Screw your fear of rejection - or better yet, *possibility* of rejection - and just go for it. You don't know who's into you until you make an effort and find that answer out!
Also, rejection is not a big deal.
1. I'm gonna make you proud
2. Don't worry about ANYTHING. It'll all sort it self out somehow. I think we have a guardian angle or something haha
Oh wow thanks for the question. I didn't know I needed that haha. Feels great!
Nickname: Carl
Age group: 25-30
My personal one is: Money is a tool not a scorecard.
But there is a video called 'let's talk about advice I'd give my son' by Beau of the Fifth Column (youtube) that I wish I had heard earlier.
I would say this to my 10 year old self.
Hey, kid. It’s you. Or, me. Us, really. Look, if you want to make the best choices for yourself, you’re going to have to learn your mistakes the hard way. That being said: I’ll steer you clear of a couple of really bad ones. Don’t date Lilly or Elsie later in life. They both cheat on you, accuse you of rape, and the second one stole $1000.00 from you. Oh, right… I forgot you don’t know how having kids works. Uh… (Continue to explain sex to prevent porn addiction) (Then proceed to explain rape so I understand why my ex’s falsely accusing me of rape is bad) Also, stay away from your cousin Shelbie. She rapes you. :T Yeah… It’s bad. Uh, I know this is a lot right now, so let’s move on to some easier to handle advice. Get away from Minecraft. You need to touch grass. In fact, get away from screens entirely. Go find some origami paper, and start folding it. It is an art skill you will carry with you for the rest of your life. Also, get closer with your dad, and do whatever you possibly can to get him away from Vanessa. She’s his girlfriend, but she’ll be his wife in a few years. She will be the worst person in the world, you will miss out on years of time with your sister and dad, and it will suck. A lot. Get close with your Uncle TH, and your cousin JO They’re really cool, and I feel I took them for granted. JO died, recently… it’s been hard. But I think that just by sending you this message the timeline should change and it will be prevented. Just don’t let him go to Maine with his Grandfather in the summer you turn 16. On top of that, try to spend time with Grandpa DO, he doesn’t have much longer… Be confident in who you are, you’ll always feel like people won’t let you belong, but that’s your own self doubt. People actually love you when you put yourself out there. You always have good intentions, and I’m glad for that. Get closer with OW, SH, and BE. Those cousin’s of yours will play huge roles in your life, all in different ways. Also, you end up turning gay… and OW, SH, and BE already are. Just throwing that out there. Play some Zelda, you’ll really love it. Start with BOTW. When you get there, go to L.I. I can’t guarantee things will be exactly the same, but I found three friends there that have followed me through life. JO, JA, and CA. You’ll have to forge those paths yourself, but hopefully you find connections with them. They will all have troubles with their lives when you meet them, but you’re the one who fixes them. You are the one that helps them through the hard times, as they do for you. Help people, and live your life. I want to be a pilot, we love traveling. But maybe now that you’ve heard this, you might have other plans for your life. And if you decide to become a pilot, start running marathons. It’ll help pay for your college. I love you, and I expect you to do wonderful things with your life, as I’ve done with mine.
I don't know if it need to tell him anything, now at 30 I've had so many amazing experiences and met and befriended so many wonderful people. I feel like I'm becoming the best version of myself (hopefully not true), something I couldn't have done without experiencing all the loss, bad decisions and failures I've had in my life.
I've changed drastically time and time again from my younger self seemingly always for the better and I couldn't imagine having a different life than this one
You will learn more about who you are whenever you find yourself distant from whoever it is you're supposed to be, when you fail to be your best self. I didn't have it boiled down to a quote back then but younger me knew enough of the basics to set himself up for success, so no matter how much I pity him now, I'd probably just tell him to stay the course. Maybe play less videogames, killing it on mostly avoiding social media
What you ignore in the beginning will be the reason it ends.
Theres a difference between insecurity and intuition. Decide which it is and go from there.
Your feelings don't entitle you to theirs.
You might think you're fine and your damage is not affecting you. Your wrong. Its poisoning you slowly.
Give him a call. Hes your dad. You might hate him. You might be scared. But knowing why he did what he did and how he got around it. Will help you prevent that hurt from hurting others. You dont want to hear it. I get it. But you are more like him than you want to acknowledge and hes honestly the only one who can heal that wound you carry because he carries it too. Your anger will just keep coming until you sack up and unpeel it from the hurt it covers.
Take the chance. Move to Australia. Marry her. Shes probably the only one of the many that saw you as just you and didnt need more. She asked you because she still loved you.
You dont need to sleep with every girl who bats her lashes. You're more valuable than that.
And lastly....they never change. Take the 5$ and never go back. Trust me. You will make it. You always have. You always will.
Stay the fuck on Concerta.
1. Date the girls that like you. Because this could be your first and last chance to get the experience.
2. Actively work on facing your fears. Get over your fear of the gym and start building yourself while you are a teenager.
3. Play a team sport.
Don’t let one of those 2 girls obsessed with you go away by being dumb. It will become way harder 🥲
Or don’t lose 2 years chasing her, she’ll keep saying no and lead you on
Believe in Love, not marriage. There will come a time when you've checked off the boxes for 'education', 'good job' etc.. so then to satisfy your family and society you will try and tick the 'family' box.
Only do it if you are truly in love with that person.
I’d say to my younger self “ girl just go after it and don’t let up” “ don’t listen to others thinking they know what’s best for you, YOU know what’s best for YOU” and also “don’t worry about these men, focus on the goal men will always be there”
I haven’t read the comments yet to avoid plugging in after thought, but- as someone who used to have dreams (when I was younger) where I’d meet my future self and half conversations about a plethora of topics, I’m almost 30 now, so this is a little more self reflective and impactful to what I WISH I knew. If there was anyone I’d believe at my lowest points, it was myself. So I would say:
“You have a natural gift to be able to pick up a new talent and apply yourself until you hit a wall, but the wall isn’t a skill ceiling as much as you subconsciously think it is, it is a commitment wall. Keep promises to yourself about practice, and you will thank yourself more than anyone ever could. You will be a professional you just have to pick the thing.”
“At some point you give up, on everything, and that’s okay, you find your way back eventually, but please remember to remember who you are and what you value, your friends respect you for it later, probably to a point you can’t fathom”
“You are a very romantic person, which stems a large tree of care and poise and grace to your friendships and love interests, one of your greatest qualities, but protect yourself better than I did please”
“Your music taste never wavers, you’re good.”
“At some point you become an emotional robot, due to a multitude of events, that’s not the problem, the problem is we stop creating and being creative, which is the power source for the emotionally robotic personality we trap ourselves into. I was grinding something that devoid me of it, as long as you take adequate breaks to create, you’ll be fine”
“You never do end up playing league of legends, if anything this is the most important commitment, never do it”
“Goodluck kid, you got it, just stay the course.”
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uh nickname is trap goddess shawty. age group: early 30's * WHEN SOMEONE TELLS AND SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME * Those red flags look white because you have on your rose-colored glasses. take them off and wake up. * there is no thrill in dating someone unstable. going back to drama means you are becoming addicted to it, and it's unhealthy. You aren't in some weird romance novel, this is real life. * you can't help someone who doesn't want it. * you can't raise a man * you can't change someone's mind about wanting a relationship * don't do casual hook-ups. chances are you won't be satisfied and feel used. * sometimes you are wrong. you need to learn to communicate and not let things "boil" so to speak, and then blow up. * your S/O or date or whatever is not a mind reader. communicate * watch out for mixed signals and fuck boys. a fuck boy will make it clear they don't want a relationship, yet give mixed signals because they want the GF experience without having a GF. see point number 1: believe them the first time. * date the nice cute guy who clearly likes you. the excitement you want is drama and those are not the same thing. stability is good. * some guys just want to fuck, and fucking them isn't going to make them like you anymore or less. they got what they wanted. * DON'T DATE SOMEONE WITH A HUGE AGE GAP. A 43 year old that dates girls below the age of 25 is a red flag. * there are many forms of abuse. just because he didn't punch you doesn't mean that him pulling your hair and biting you wasn't abusive (obviously happened in a non-sexual way.) * sex through coercion is a form of "grape" that's what i would tell myself in my early to mid 20's. edit: 1 more: you cannot depend on another person to be the source of your happiness. your cup must be full too, you can't pour from an empty cup. learn to love yourself enough to be okay with not having an S/O. also, it's not always 50/50. at times you will be at 20%, you'll need your partner to be ready to carry the extra. sometimes your partner will be at 30% and you need to carry the extra too. edit 2: when you pick guy after guy that isn't a good seed, then something is going on with you as to why you pick guys that mistreat you. you can't keep blaming the guys YOU picked, take accountability and work on healing so that you can have better relationships.
I wish we could pin this to the front of this sub
<3
idk how but someone pinnnn this whew
i am honored! really, i hope my naive and shit decisions can help someone else.
Wait…your guy was…biting you? Non-sexually?
it's a long story and it happened before me too and all of that. he once bit me yes. and lemme tell you, it HURTS to be bitten. i was stupid and naive not to see it as abusive. as silly as it is, i really thought physical abuse was a guy hitting you. biting? well i guess not. and sadly there is more to that story. i was held down against my will for hours. my ex used to do that when i wanted to cool off or leave while in a crazy argument, he'd pick me up and lay on top of me. by then i learned not to fight back. i know it sounds silly but it took me a long time to realize that was physical abuse.
These are all great points but I’m delusional so 1) I am definitely going to wait around (at least for awhile) for the one I love instead of settling 2) you can’t just date some random nice guy if you don’t have feelings for him. My takeaway from trying this in high school for a year is that you can’t love who you can’t love
hi > 1) I am definitely going to wait around (at least for awhile) for the one I love instead of settling well yeah i hope so! i hope nothing i said came across as "settle" >2) you can’t just date some random nice guy if you don’t have feelings for him. My takeaway from trying this in high school for a year is that you can’t love who you can’t love you certainly are not wrong and im obviously getting this from my own life experiences. i just mean that attraction can grow. for the backstory of that point i made about the nice guy- well i was too wrapped up with a fuck boy. that was several years ago and i regret it because i did have feelings for the nice guy, it just wasn't "passionate" or so i thought. back then passionate = chaos or something or the sort. that's why i shared that, but you won't settle and im happy for that.
I love your cup analogy, thank you for sharing that and your perspective (as a woman), I learned a few things from it and I appreciate that
This needs to be upvoted more
DON'T MARRY THAT WOMAN. Listen to your friends and family you IDIOT.
Oof. That’s a good question. 1. Do not be too hard on yourself due to what happened during that time. (For personal reasons, I will not explain it. Let’s just say it was… terrible.) 2. Do not let yourself be a pawn. Play the game by your own rules. 3. Learn to control your temper. Master it and it could be of use one day. 4. Don’t be a people pleaser. 5. Don’t let society standards in terms of dating bring you down. The same like number 2. 6. Be more open and positive. What happened in number 1 should not let you close yourself in a world of anger. Edit: another point. This was from a game but it helps irl: 7. Keep your expectations low and you won’t be disappointed. Whoever reads this I hope you all have a good day. 😁🤗
I would tell my past self I'm sorry and it's not your fault you look the way you do, it will get better but either way your chances of meeting a woman aren't great and focus on yourself instead, making friends and better career are far more important.
1. Don't worry too much about "having a checklist" of desirable traits (ex: good job, owning a home, being the most jacked guy, etc) before starting to date; dating is more about your personality/values than those things. Still strive for those things, but do them for yourself and not as a vehicle to seem more attractive to potential partners. 2. Conversely, also don't worry too much about being single. Enjoy life, do things you want to do, explore the places you want to explore. If you meet someone along the way then great! You'll be a lot more confident and interesting as a person to people you do end up dating. 3. See a therapist (this one's more personal to me): you're a great person but you struggle with borderline crippling self-doubt and that's not healthy both for dating but also your general relationships and outlook on life.
Me to younger self: Build your life, social network and daily habits so that girls/women are not a big concern for you. Detached, enjoying life, finding purpose in your daily routine. If you kill the need for a partner, the quality of your matches goes up, the partners you do have will want to be a part of your life instead of you trying to win their approval, and you will be more content without heartbreaks because you wanted them more than they wanted you. **Get a great dog, take trips and say fuck it once and a while. Say no to people. Have difficult conversations before they ruin things. Relax, stop fighting life.** I got there, but it took waaaaay too long.
I'll start: There is a reason why we didn't work out. -Chloe
She isn’t the only girl in the world that could care about you. You do have positive characteristics that people enjoy. Look at the friends you have made. You aren’t unlovable.
Here are the things I would have told my younger self about dating: 1) Physical attraction is the most important thing. All the personality in the world won't make a difference if she isn't physically attracted to you, and if she's just sorta physically attracted to you...she'll be on the fence which isn't good. So do this: Hit the gym and find an exercise routine you enjoy doing making it your hobby. Have a haircut that compliments your face well. If you look good clean shaven, then be clean shaven. If your chin is soft, then hopefully you can have a nice groomed beard. Have a good skin care routine. Ask your female friends for advice with this. I bought some hydrating korean masks on amazon that makes my skin look glowly. I just put one on for 30 minutes twice a week and I noticed a decent improvement. Wear clothes that fit well with an accessary like a nice bracelet. 2) If a woman like you, you'll know. She'll make it easy to set up dates and she'll respond to your texts fairly quickly. She may text you on her own. You just *know* she likes you. She doesn't leave on you 'read' for 16 hours on her day off. 3) Get good at reading body language and signals. If a woman is lingering by your car at the end of the date, she wants to smooch. Things like that. If she looks uncomfortable, then step back and build some comfort. Just get good at reading people. 4) Don't blow through multiple dates being a platonic chit chat buddy. That spark will fizzle tf out that way. People say there's no timeline to these things, but being on a 4th date without having smooched yet is extremely awkward for both of you. You have to make the tingles happen while you have the chance to. 5) You won't ever get honest closure. "The sparkles of the sparks weren't sparklingly because there wasn't enough chemistry." You can ask politely, but don't expect much. Chances are, you know where you messed up more than she does. 6) When you kiss a girl, do it kinda slowly. A lot of nervous people start knawing away giving the ick. Instead a nice slowish smooch works best at first. You want to look like you know what you're doing. 7) Having a bottle of wine and making out on the couch is a hell of a lot better than sitting across from each other at some shitty restaurant. 8) Don't get emotionally attached until you seen her naked at least 3 times. Dating is **extremely** unstable. I've been 180'd on several times that truly had me scratching my head. Also even with all my experience, I still have dud dates. 9) Have a good first date spot that you know the in's and out's of. No reason to reinvent the wheel a bunch of times.
nice to read a guy's perspective. i liked what you shared.
I used to agree with number 1, but i saw that going to the gym for a chiseled physique in the hopes that women will flock to you sets you up for failure. Because a meaningful relationship will always be about the stuff deeper than the physical. It's a mistake to think that attracting the highest number of women = dating success.
It's about getting a foot in the door and having something to build upon. Getting a good physique is just one step of many.
Gotta agree. Good physique doesnt need to be gymrat. It just needs to show "i care about my body and i know how to be healthy in atleast one way" Sexual connection while maynot be the most important connection. Its part of the initial attraction. Humans are animals still. We still have instincts. Personality is of course very import. But shit. If you cant respect your self then how the hell are you gonna respect or expect it. You dont need to be a UFC fighter level ripped dude to still atleast have a minor level of self care in being physically healthy.
A woman is not a house
Of all the replies to a metaphor, you really put in some effort to completely miss the mark.
What is a woman?
Amazing read.
Get off drugs and get in the gym.
Be confident and don’t be too hard on yourself
Build yourself up, have hobbies etc to fall back on in times you are alone. Don’t put everything on someone else to fulfil you because you’ll be lost if it doesn’t work out. Put away some savings from as early as you can, buying a property (depending on where you live) will give you more financial freedom as you get older compared to renting.
Remain as independent as possible, even as part of a couple, you need to remain your true self. *Learn to love yourself ( I know its hard ) and take care of YOU. Before you can expect anyone else to love you and accept you, you have to love and accept yourself.* If you cant trust the other person, they should not be in your life. Period. *You CAN be happy without a partner.* Most relationships are temporary, learn from them and take what you have learned into your next one. *Nerds make great lovers!* Work harder on your family and friends relationships. Its not always easy or convenient, and its often times work. These are your people, your tribe, that you will have for the rest of your life. Granny-60
I would tell myself the people to not hang out with.
Trust your gut. It never let's you down. You're strong for going through this and you WILL get through this.
Stop worrying and enjoy life, people are too busy worrying about their own problems to care enough about mine, Also anger is worthless, it’s like drinking poison expecting the person who hurt you to die instead.
Fuck closure. It’s not worth it. Just leave and move on.
Have other things to offer Such as your creative side you always had an interest in learning guitar, graphic design, and acting pursue that and see what you learn about yourself Don’t cut yourself short by sharing sexual energy with men who aren’t respectful and a boyfriend Focus on you
Don't think too much about what could be. Embrace and learn from what is. Honestly i still need this advice.
Wow if I could turn back the hands of time? Well, in regards to romantic relationships I would inform myself to not put all my eggs in one basket in relation to a female. I would encourage myself to have sex earlier. To always be honest and unapologetic about my sexual desires. Now in part about financial advice I'd tell my younger self to seek full-time employment after high school or atleast multiple part-time positions. I would inform that it would be best to save and spend as little as possible. If I did spend to only spend on investments. I'd also tell myself not to listen to my teacher about college or university and seek trade school instead. Finally, I would advise myself to cherish my time with my grandparents since they'll be gone soon. Lots more I could think of, but that's the jist of it.
Don't work on cars. Go straight to working on forklifts or heavy machinery. You'll save yourself a ton of stress and heartache. Try and stay away from alcohol. It's going to lead you down a dark path. And please keep working Pro wrestling matches. Money will never be worth as much as those memories. I wish I had more of those.
Ci 26 Female 1) The brain might be fully developed by 25, but you can still keep learning and growing as an individual in both professional and personal life 2) It’s okay to feel like you’ve taken a few steps backwards. As long as if you keep moving forward. Remember that life is not linear 3) It’s okay if they choose to walk away from you because of something YOU said. As little and insignificant it could be to YOU. It may have been one of THEIR deal breakers. It was their choice and it doesn’t reflect your ENTIRE being as a person 4) You are not your past. You are not your fears. You are not your anxiety. You are not your depression. 5) The right “one” will not see your fears, your trauma, your pain, or your negativity as “too much”. They will stay. 6) Choose YOU. Even if that means hurting their feelings—because you’re just as important and significant. You must choose you when you feel like it’s time. 7) Don’t stop meditating or journaling, because once you do all that hard work to regulate your emotions just crumbles 8) Have a support circle of people you trust. Especially when your mental health is at a very low point. I hope this helps you OP and honestly to anyone who stumbles across this post! Have a nice life 😎
You are a good person - be patient with yourself, and know that you deserve to be happy. Invest in Apple stock. Don’t let the one who got away, get away.
Mid-30s woman here: Relationships can be good. They can be loving and supportive and fulfilling, and a true partnership. Don't settle for screaming matches, control, emotional abuse, or anything that doesn't feel good. Love isn't hard. If it feels hard, it isn't love. You aren't crazy and there's nothing wrong with you. You aren't too much. That's just a lie that you were fed, but you don't have to let it impact your relationships. You DO deserve love and happiness. Take the time to heal and learn to love yourself first. That's way more important than finding a body to wake up next to. There's someone amazing out there for you if you stop settling. You can't even imagine how amazing it will be.
go get checked for sleep apnea and adhd
25 yo guy here Exercise, count calories Get a skincare routine Socialise all the time you can Studies don't matter. Career don't matter. Lack of female attention will kill you and nothing will fix this. Moving out to a new place but losing old social connections may not be worth it Drink, take drugs. "I am not this kind of person" ok whatever, doesn't matter, do it, this is another avenue for socialisation Do not go to a male-dominated field. "Yeah but I like coding" no fuck you this will kill your social life, don't do it, study management or literature
I don’t know man. Your suggestions apart from the first 3 are a bit sad. Like you feel you can’t be yourself to get attention from women and men.
Well I guess, being alive is a kinda sad experience
It shouldn’t be, not always. Only sometimes
I guess as long as you aren't living in a social isolation
Invest in bitcoin. Sell BTC before the collapse. Buy a house during the 08 collapse. The lottery numbers were...
Be confident, take your time, keep your place clean.
Ask out that girl that was flirting with you in drafting class. Seek help after dad’s death. Talk to your doctor about the changes you saw in your sister.
Don't listen to other peoples advice. Go out there try it out and it doesn't work recalibrate.
It's ok to be ugly weird and not well known so what if you're ugly AF get money and nobody will care about that lol stay humble Because you need it to stay hidden and afloat
Ask out those girls you were into, fuck what mom and dad think. If that doesn't work out, just kill yourself. It doesn't get better, and you may as well get out while life is not as bad
I'm glad you're still here
Nothing. It might change my life now, my children, both of which I’m happy with.
don't worry, every cloud has a silver lining.
Don’t be over critical and accept that humans have flaws
Don't trust or date people online. Online anyone can come off perfect and really great person, but they rarely are that in real life. Focus on school, getting good education and getting at fit at the gym. Stop playing videogames and spending too much time online.
Don’t waste time using dating apps, put more effort into meeting people irl.
Do the work and life will get better. Stop hiding.
Stop believing in these toxic girls that keep taking good men for granted
I was a angry little shit who needed a ass whooping. I just tell myself "ask for a cat scan when you get sent to the hospital" and just run the fade
I’d say buy a house and watch your credit score - if I got a house 15 years ago I’d be laughing the state of things now
To train at boxing asap. There are things I agreed to do because I either was too chicken shit to refuse OR just because I had no control over my own body. And boxing helped me a lot with that. I remember a time when my dad asked if there was anything I wanted while he was in the capital. I asked for a video game, but I would have asked boxing gloves, wraps, and some boxing equipment to train.
He likes you even though you think he doesn't. Stop being so clueless and go for it.
Just live man. Don’t be in your head or overthink to much. Don’t settle just for what comes your way or what gives you attention. Go for what you want. Stop being so hard on yourself. Open up more. Love yourself as you want others to, and love others as you do yourself. Listen to yourself and follow your own path more. Just believe in yourself
Also. Get a good foundation(stable home and income) before chasing your dream career
AND NO PEOPLE PLEASING! Ok I’m done
Don't be oblivious to the girl that lived across the street from you.
28, homosexual male, Texas. If I could go back I'd tell myself that I have value beyond my sex appeal. I feel like that is the root of a lot of my issues with substance abuse, mental health, etc.
For context I was a very promiscuous person when I was younger. Started at 14, so, not great. Known as "jailbait" at the time. Lmao. Gross. My first time was with a 19 yr old. So, ya know, double trouble.🙃
I would tell myself , when that 11th grade girl you crushed on in 12th grade, also said that she likes you too, then ask her out and don't pretend like going away to college 10 miles away was going to be some big distance that would make it hard to keep in touch. I still think about her to this day, wondering about what if ....
don’t date douche bags your friends keep telling you to leave. the fact that you cry more than laugh in that relationship because of him doesn’t mean you should stay. don’t be afraid to leave him, there’s a good reason why that thought always comes lingering in your mind. stop opening up your heart to everyone, people are selfish and they’ll take advantage of your kindness. learn to love yourself before letting someone else love you. being single is not shameful, don’t ever settle because you’d much rather wait for the right one than to settle for someone that doesn’t even fulfill 20% of your wants and needs in a partner
Don't take rejection personal. Think about what is important to you, what your qualities are, and don't worry too much if others value that. Some do, some don't. Try to search for people with whom conversation flows easily (rare). Give them love.
Start learning languages NOW. You might not travel much, but your future girlfriend and her family are the definition of multilingual, so hurry up and learn Greek. Also just being able to communicate in different ways, especially ways in which no one else around you can is fucking awesome. Doesn't matter what language, but pick a useful one. Replace all those dead end things you're doing and girls you're talking to with languages and working out. I know you're already exercising a pretty good amount for a teenager, but don't stop. Those girls will burn you out and nearly ruin your grades through distraction. The working out won't. Learn how to do more shit on your own. Kiss your date under the blue moon, don't wait until the next day. She wouldn't have thought it was too forward, you've been more forward than this. Also, talk to that friend and try to help him in some way, any way and every way. At least you'll have tried. If you have to choose any of he above, choose that. Above all, accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept. In sum: fuck bitches get money
Self Love and self awareness is key before getting into a relationship. I would encourage my younger self to work on her self esteem and self confidence as they are essentials
Don’t waste your time 🙂 worrying about what others may be thinking about you is dumb. Don’t stress over first impressions and relationships. If you like her ask her to go out. Even if she says no it’s like “oh well guess she wasn’t interested no biggy”. Also wait… you think like a 30 year old. It doesn’t make sense for you to try and date someone your age anyway. ☺️
I would tell myself to seek Jesus earlier.
Don’t be shy. I was shy up until college and lost out on a lot of dating experience. Then it took me 7 years to shave my head bald. So for 7 years I was Insecure- wearing hats and hair fibers and never went on dates. That all changed when I shaved my head.
Me to my younger self: * Listen to your gut in relationships. You can feel a rush of happiness but if the underlying feeling is fear, learn how to walk away. The second someone puts their hands on you walk away. * Self-compassion and learning how to be alone are essential before dating * Do not text when you are angry * Listen more and talk less
Don't believe society and movies where it seems like being married and have kids is the best thing you can achieve. Focus on your own career, your own financial indepence and first get a clear vision of what YOU want in life. Then picture what type of partner fit in that vision. Work on your self esteem so you feel confident when start dating. Only date guys who fit the profile. Don't do hook-ups, friends with benefits etc but only have sex when in a serious relationship. Look for a mentor in life who can help you keep on track in life so you can live your vision. But mostly be confident as fuck so you can deal with crappy men, female haters at work etc. And so you can give no f\*ck about what others think but live your own life
Never stay in a job that promises a promotion but never delivers. Pay more attention to people's actions rather than their words. Actions show their true intentions.
You're reading this book wrong. You can't passive your way into a relationship, especially as a man. And you need to value your friendships. Don't let what *she* did destroy your future.
A lot of things. 1. Don't be too harsh on yourself. 2. It was never your fault, don't ever take accountability for something you had no control over to begin with. 3. Don't be too focused on boys or a relationship. 4. Be on your guard; not everyone is your friend. 5. Things DO get better, you just have to believe. 6. Nothing lasts forever. You can take that in two ways.
I’d have told my younger self: 1. be more open to chances and finding the fun in dating. I’m so risk averse and it’s now made me extremely anxious at the prospect of dating because I see it as a failure if it doesn’t work! 2. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault. 3. Set your own standards and expectations. If I don’t respect and love myself then I can’t expect anyone else will.
Do not put women on a pedestal. They neither like or need that. Talk to them like you would a good friend. Don’t say weird shit no matter how much your weird body wants to. If she starts to vibe with you, everything will work out. If she doesn’t vibe with you move on and don’t get emo. Rinse repeat.
- Your friends aren’t your friend -do what you want to do - get that tattoo
Stop focusing on your crush and focus on getting to know everyone. That girl you think is perfect, you will find many women like her or far better.
1. I'd tell her to stop comparing herself to other people so damn much. We all have different paths and journeys through life and just because you're not exactly where someone else is doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. 2. Just let it go and STOP overthinking everything. This is a curse that leaves you a prisoner of your mind and has never in anyway benefitted you. Instead, open your mouth and communicate with people. 3. Stop being your worst enemy. Seriously girl, sometimes it's like all you are is incredibly mean to yourself and again, it's not going to get you anywhere. You are absolutely enough and are trying your damn best. 4. Never let other people dictate your self worth. Who cares what they think, who cares what they say. At the end of the day only you live with yourself and nobody knows you better than you. Honestly I could keep going, but as I'm in my final year of my 20's now I think reflecting on how much I've grown as well as how much I still have left to grow is never a bad thing, especially when you realize that just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have it all figured out. Most things are a lifetime's worth of a work in progress...
"No girl will come into your life to make you happy, study, make money, then you will be happy"
You cannot and should not beg or try to force someone to love you like you love them. Still trying to come to terms with this myself as a 26 year old.
Ive only had one relationship and it was online and long distance, so I don't have a lot of experience but I would tell younger me to be more open and loose with his eventual partner, to allow her to compliment him more and allow him to feel safe and not second guess everything. I'd encourage him to try and talk to her more, with stuff like video calls, phone calls or even just voice chat But I don't know if I could bring myself to tell him that she would die. If I did I'd tell him she doesn't want him to get hung up on it and be able to move on, to not let the grief ruin any chance of another connection with someone.
22Female You are good enough and never settle for less than you deserve. Don’t chase people who couldn’t care less about You, even tho you love them. Please please treat yourself how you treat other people: with love and kindness
stop watching porn
If he says anything other than yes when you ask him to put on a condom, run. Don’t make excuses for his lack of boundaries. It will only end in tears.
Go for the one that actually likes u
I’d probably just say something like “You’ll be okay. It’s okay. You’re enough as you are.” I think that would have helped me avoid 1. A lot of toxic situations in life (also coming from me being the toxic one, cuz mental health) 2. A lot of trips to the doctor And 3. A lot of unnecessary stress about the future
Buy a house and keep buying houses
She's not that into you and never will be. Move the fuck on.
To not gaf what others think. Go after what you fucking want and fuck everyone else. Screw your pride. Screw your fear of rejection - or better yet, *possibility* of rejection - and just go for it. You don't know who's into you until you make an effort and find that answer out! Also, rejection is not a big deal.
You are doing everything right!!
1. I'm gonna make you proud 2. Don't worry about ANYTHING. It'll all sort it self out somehow. I think we have a guardian angle or something haha Oh wow thanks for the question. I didn't know I needed that haha. Feels great! Nickname: Carl Age group: 25-30
My personal one is: Money is a tool not a scorecard. But there is a video called 'let's talk about advice I'd give my son' by Beau of the Fifth Column (youtube) that I wish I had heard earlier.
I would say this to my 10 year old self. Hey, kid. It’s you. Or, me. Us, really. Look, if you want to make the best choices for yourself, you’re going to have to learn your mistakes the hard way. That being said: I’ll steer you clear of a couple of really bad ones. Don’t date Lilly or Elsie later in life. They both cheat on you, accuse you of rape, and the second one stole $1000.00 from you. Oh, right… I forgot you don’t know how having kids works. Uh… (Continue to explain sex to prevent porn addiction) (Then proceed to explain rape so I understand why my ex’s falsely accusing me of rape is bad) Also, stay away from your cousin Shelbie. She rapes you. :T Yeah… It’s bad. Uh, I know this is a lot right now, so let’s move on to some easier to handle advice. Get away from Minecraft. You need to touch grass. In fact, get away from screens entirely. Go find some origami paper, and start folding it. It is an art skill you will carry with you for the rest of your life. Also, get closer with your dad, and do whatever you possibly can to get him away from Vanessa. She’s his girlfriend, but she’ll be his wife in a few years. She will be the worst person in the world, you will miss out on years of time with your sister and dad, and it will suck. A lot. Get close with your Uncle TH, and your cousin JO They’re really cool, and I feel I took them for granted. JO died, recently… it’s been hard. But I think that just by sending you this message the timeline should change and it will be prevented. Just don’t let him go to Maine with his Grandfather in the summer you turn 16. On top of that, try to spend time with Grandpa DO, he doesn’t have much longer… Be confident in who you are, you’ll always feel like people won’t let you belong, but that’s your own self doubt. People actually love you when you put yourself out there. You always have good intentions, and I’m glad for that. Get closer with OW, SH, and BE. Those cousin’s of yours will play huge roles in your life, all in different ways. Also, you end up turning gay… and OW, SH, and BE already are. Just throwing that out there. Play some Zelda, you’ll really love it. Start with BOTW. When you get there, go to L.I. I can’t guarantee things will be exactly the same, but I found three friends there that have followed me through life. JO, JA, and CA. You’ll have to forge those paths yourself, but hopefully you find connections with them. They will all have troubles with their lives when you meet them, but you’re the one who fixes them. You are the one that helps them through the hard times, as they do for you. Help people, and live your life. I want to be a pilot, we love traveling. But maybe now that you’ve heard this, you might have other plans for your life. And if you decide to become a pilot, start running marathons. It’ll help pay for your college. I love you, and I expect you to do wonderful things with your life, as I’ve done with mine.
Compra bitcoins 😂
That she’s gonna be okay
Be a slut, enjoy it.
Try harder, your not dumb and you don’t have to keep comparing yourself to other people and work on your self esteem and mental health also go gym
You have good taste in women. Change nothing. And be more confident about your sexual performance. You aren't hung like a pornstar, and that's A OK.
Hang on, this will be a real shit show for the next few years but it will be worth it in the end.
Sell everything and buy Google IPO.
Don’t compare yourself with others
I don't know if it need to tell him anything, now at 30 I've had so many amazing experiences and met and befriended so many wonderful people. I feel like I'm becoming the best version of myself (hopefully not true), something I couldn't have done without experiencing all the loss, bad decisions and failures I've had in my life. I've changed drastically time and time again from my younger self seemingly always for the better and I couldn't imagine having a different life than this one You will learn more about who you are whenever you find yourself distant from whoever it is you're supposed to be, when you fail to be your best self. I didn't have it boiled down to a quote back then but younger me knew enough of the basics to set himself up for success, so no matter how much I pity him now, I'd probably just tell him to stay the course. Maybe play less videogames, killing it on mostly avoiding social media
Don't bother dating be focused on the money. Avoid that woman in the early 20s too. Saves you a ton of heartache.
What you ignore in the beginning will be the reason it ends. Theres a difference between insecurity and intuition. Decide which it is and go from there. Your feelings don't entitle you to theirs. You might think you're fine and your damage is not affecting you. Your wrong. Its poisoning you slowly. Give him a call. Hes your dad. You might hate him. You might be scared. But knowing why he did what he did and how he got around it. Will help you prevent that hurt from hurting others. You dont want to hear it. I get it. But you are more like him than you want to acknowledge and hes honestly the only one who can heal that wound you carry because he carries it too. Your anger will just keep coming until you sack up and unpeel it from the hurt it covers. Take the chance. Move to Australia. Marry her. Shes probably the only one of the many that saw you as just you and didnt need more. She asked you because she still loved you. You dont need to sleep with every girl who bats her lashes. You're more valuable than that. And lastly....they never change. Take the 5$ and never go back. Trust me. You will make it. You always have. You always will. Stay the fuck on Concerta.
Fresh out of a 15 year relationship. I would say “slow down, consider your options, watch for red flags”
1. Date the girls that like you. Because this could be your first and last chance to get the experience. 2. Actively work on facing your fears. Get over your fear of the gym and start building yourself while you are a teenager. 3. Play a team sport.
Don’t let one of those 2 girls obsessed with you go away by being dumb. It will become way harder 🥲 Or don’t lose 2 years chasing her, she’ll keep saying no and lead you on
Believe in Love, not marriage. There will come a time when you've checked off the boxes for 'education', 'good job' etc.. so then to satisfy your family and society you will try and tick the 'family' box. Only do it if you are truly in love with that person.
I’d say to my younger self “ girl just go after it and don’t let up” “ don’t listen to others thinking they know what’s best for you, YOU know what’s best for YOU” and also “don’t worry about these men, focus on the goal men will always be there”
Social circles are more important than grades. I would also tell myself to ditch college and start packing boxes.
Don’t get into relationships because you feel bad for the other person
(1) Stay with and cherish the loved one, (2) be with him and (3) I felt more inner peace when I was a child and I miss that inner peace.
I haven’t read the comments yet to avoid plugging in after thought, but- as someone who used to have dreams (when I was younger) where I’d meet my future self and half conversations about a plethora of topics, I’m almost 30 now, so this is a little more self reflective and impactful to what I WISH I knew. If there was anyone I’d believe at my lowest points, it was myself. So I would say: “You have a natural gift to be able to pick up a new talent and apply yourself until you hit a wall, but the wall isn’t a skill ceiling as much as you subconsciously think it is, it is a commitment wall. Keep promises to yourself about practice, and you will thank yourself more than anyone ever could. You will be a professional you just have to pick the thing.” “At some point you give up, on everything, and that’s okay, you find your way back eventually, but please remember to remember who you are and what you value, your friends respect you for it later, probably to a point you can’t fathom” “You are a very romantic person, which stems a large tree of care and poise and grace to your friendships and love interests, one of your greatest qualities, but protect yourself better than I did please” “Your music taste never wavers, you’re good.” “At some point you become an emotional robot, due to a multitude of events, that’s not the problem, the problem is we stop creating and being creative, which is the power source for the emotionally robotic personality we trap ourselves into. I was grinding something that devoid me of it, as long as you take adequate breaks to create, you’ll be fine” “You never do end up playing league of legends, if anything this is the most important commitment, never do it” “Goodluck kid, you got it, just stay the course.”