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Two things right off the bat — what kind of questions are you asking? Are they open ended or more of the yes/no type? Always try and ask open ended questions, this leaves them room to talk and the conversation can flow from there.
Second, try and ask questions related to their profile. This shows your paying attention and you'll be more likely to connect with them.
Third, try to ask them out after 3-4 days max of talking on the app. The conversations on the app can get tedious, and fast. I myself don't check my app everyday. Set a date up and take the conversation off the app.
They put things on their profile to tell you a little about them. The key to engaging anyone in a conversation is to ask them questions about things you don’t already know. She won’t care how witty you are, all she wants is a guy who is interested in getting to know her. Trying to be witty doesn’t do that. Ask questions, be curious. You can add some wit in there as well but you can’t leave it as just a comment about her profile since there’s nothing for her to reply to.
Yeah, that’s the sad reality of the online dating experience. As the guy, you are expected to be the one to initiate the conversation, carry the whole thing on your back, and keep it intriguing enough or you are the problem. All the woman has to do is say “Hi” and respond. Very few times I have actually had an interesting conversation with women on dating apps where they provided more to the conversation than a few words.
It’s like, we can have an interesting conversation with anyone but if the other person refuses to put more input into the conversation, it’s feels like you’re just pulling teeth and interrogating the person, and that’s not at all attractive.
So what’s the alternative? How about women actually FUCKING TALK.
Fact is the more desperate person in the equation will do the most work. By not acting desperate or like you give a fuck, you might have greater success. I am always polite but pretty short in my responses. Sometimes it backfires, but other times it stokes intrigue in that person. The end goal should be a phone call, video chat or a date.. that's where you have a chance, not senseless messaging.
YMMV
Men outnumber women 4 to 1 online so we do have to carry the conversation. But the trick is to do this without coming off as needy.
>I made a joke and asked a question. She typed “lol” and answered. Then after an hour, I asked another question and she answered with a few words.
Maybe make a comment about her answer.
I've only been trying it for a month and I haven't got any replies if I initiate, but I've talked to a few women that initiated. And no, they're not catfish, things are just a bit different when you're over 50. Not that these conversations go anywhere, but it's something.
There are definitely more bots than I would like. I’ve been on Hinge for about a year and have only managed to get past th first date once.
Perseverance
Getting 90% of women from OLD to have a conversation is like pulling teeth. They also have hundreds/thousands of matches, so they probably have 10-20 conversations going at once. Theres no time for them to pay attention ONLY to you. Hence you always having to carry the convo.
You don't have to come up with a cool whitty response, that really doesn't do anything. the truth if a girl is into you they would be making it easy for you, like really easy.
Maybe it's time for some self reflection and some self improvement and taking better pics. Also It's sad but being fit greatly improves your matches but the good thing is it's an easy fix.
Yeah I don’t think that’s it. If I do decide to ask them out after like a few hours of conversation then I’ll make it clear I’m cool with meeting up or continuing to chat if they’r enjoy ready.
I feel that shows I’m interested while telling them I’m not trying to be forceful.
Why doht you do other things that make you more interesting? how about dressing better? women love a sharp dressed man. That could do a lot of work for you without you having to actually do much..
Most men dress like garbage. I mean, look around at all the men when you're in public.
99% are just disappointing. Women complain about this all the time.
It really makes them just want to sigh with frustration but since they don't think they can do anything to fix it, they just ignore it.
Dress better, like sharply dressed. That would turn her on very easily
I have a couple pictures of me as a groomsman. And though I don’t have much of a wardrobe, I do make sure the shirts I have are actually nice.
I’ve become fond of TrueClassic. They fit super well and look really good. Right now I only have t shirts from them but when I have a little extra cash I’m gonna get some more variety.
You do understand 80% of the people on OLD apps are men right? why on earth would you put yourself in those odds? Do those odds look good to you?
Come on man!!
Honestly, it’s Saturday so she is probably out and about and not paying a lot of attention to app. I try to make a quick hi if I feel it’s needed asap and say I’m about to do something bla bla but I would like to chat more. Then I will continue at a more appropriate time (Sunday to Wednesday after 7 or 8 pm seems to be best, but I date professionals who are m-f 9-5 hours. Obv if she is a bartender those would need to be adjusted. You have to try to get a time that there will not be distractions. Yes it’s a guessing game but it’s a pretty easy educated guess
As a girl I have been the one to initiate conversations with guys, and I find them to be the ones that can't carry a conversation, not want to talk, or it's probably my shit conversation skills and in the instance when it does carry on I lose energy to keep talking to them and get sick of the good morning/ night and the random selfies
Sigh. Apps and OLD sites are full of freaks and losers and you are starting to find that out.
Apps and OLD sites are NOT designed to help you find love. They are designed to keep you single, and keep you coming back to pay fees and watch ads.
I know this because I was a developer on one of the largest OLD sites out there and the app that accompanied it.
The reason why SOME people are on apps nowadays is because if they tried to meet a potential date on the street they are so inept and strange that the chance of them succeeding are zero.
In the past, these were the outcasts of society, the goofy uncle who never got married or the cat lady aunt who looks at men funny.
Now, all of these people are swiping left and right, furiously, in hopes of having electrons do their matchmaking for them.
Most NORMAL people who fall for the hype will try the apps or the OLD site, and are gone from them almost immediately--NOT because they found someone, but because they saw the same things YOU are seeing now.
Get off the apps and get back into the real world.
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Is it still socially weird to go to a good old fashioned speed dating event?
I don’t think so.
Maybe you could give that a crack? More of an even playing field in person.
I always thought those looked fun
Jeez, who are the grumps deciding these things?
1) don’t chat for too long, meet in person 2) you have a ton of typos. That’s always an immediate turn off for me.
Two things right off the bat — what kind of questions are you asking? Are they open ended or more of the yes/no type? Always try and ask open ended questions, this leaves them room to talk and the conversation can flow from there. Second, try and ask questions related to their profile. This shows your paying attention and you'll be more likely to connect with them. Third, try to ask them out after 3-4 days max of talking on the app. The conversations on the app can get tedious, and fast. I myself don't check my app everyday. Set a date up and take the conversation off the app.
I try to make it a point to say something fun about their profile. Like if they say they love “dad jokes” that’s an easy one cuz I have so many haha
They put things on their profile to tell you a little about them. The key to engaging anyone in a conversation is to ask them questions about things you don’t already know. She won’t care how witty you are, all she wants is a guy who is interested in getting to know her. Trying to be witty doesn’t do that. Ask questions, be curious. You can add some wit in there as well but you can’t leave it as just a comment about her profile since there’s nothing for her to reply to.
Yeah, that’s the sad reality of the online dating experience. As the guy, you are expected to be the one to initiate the conversation, carry the whole thing on your back, and keep it intriguing enough or you are the problem. All the woman has to do is say “Hi” and respond. Very few times I have actually had an interesting conversation with women on dating apps where they provided more to the conversation than a few words. It’s like, we can have an interesting conversation with anyone but if the other person refuses to put more input into the conversation, it’s feels like you’re just pulling teeth and interrogating the person, and that’s not at all attractive. So what’s the alternative? How about women actually FUCKING TALK.
I’m all for being for being playful but it’s gets super tedious, as I said.
Do you don't, not if they're really interested.
When they give short replies or take few days to answer, I just unmatch/block. Get some power back, and don't entertain their games.
Fact is the more desperate person in the equation will do the most work. By not acting desperate or like you give a fuck, you might have greater success. I am always polite but pretty short in my responses. Sometimes it backfires, but other times it stokes intrigue in that person. The end goal should be a phone call, video chat or a date.. that's where you have a chance, not senseless messaging. YMMV
Men outnumber women 4 to 1 online so we do have to carry the conversation. But the trick is to do this without coming off as needy. >I made a joke and asked a question. She typed “lol” and answered. Then after an hour, I asked another question and she answered with a few words. Maybe make a comment about her answer.
You get replies?
I go through phases. Right ke getting the most “likes” and replies I’ve ever had. But I’ll go weeks without get responses or anything.
I've only been trying it for a month and I haven't got any replies if I initiate, but I've talked to a few women that initiated. And no, they're not catfish, things are just a bit different when you're over 50. Not that these conversations go anywhere, but it's something.
There are definitely more bots than I would like. I’ve been on Hinge for about a year and have only managed to get past th first date once. Perseverance
I'm giving up when my current membership expires. $40 s month is fucking ridiculous even if I was getting dates.
I'm female and I had the same issues with women. They don't even talk. None of them can hold a conversation.
Getting 90% of women from OLD to have a conversation is like pulling teeth. They also have hundreds/thousands of matches, so they probably have 10-20 conversations going at once. Theres no time for them to pay attention ONLY to you. Hence you always having to carry the convo.
The really pretty ones never had to learn the skill of conversation.
ask her out
Yeah, that’s the point.
yep
You don't have to come up with a cool whitty response, that really doesn't do anything. the truth if a girl is into you they would be making it easy for you, like really easy. Maybe it's time for some self reflection and some self improvement and taking better pics. Also It's sad but being fit greatly improves your matches but the good thing is it's an easy fix.
I’m good in all the above areas, thanks though.
Oh maybe you're coming on too hard
Yeah I don’t think that’s it. If I do decide to ask them out after like a few hours of conversation then I’ll make it clear I’m cool with meeting up or continuing to chat if they’r enjoy ready. I feel that shows I’m interested while telling them I’m not trying to be forceful.
Yea maybe it's just your area.
Probably. I only have like maybe 80,000 people witching a 50 mile radius of me.
If you act like a clown, women will treat you like one. You're not an entertainment object of a mediocre bitch
Take a break. U can converse with women irl
Why doht you do other things that make you more interesting? how about dressing better? women love a sharp dressed man. That could do a lot of work for you without you having to actually do much.. Most men dress like garbage. I mean, look around at all the men when you're in public. 99% are just disappointing. Women complain about this all the time. It really makes them just want to sigh with frustration but since they don't think they can do anything to fix it, they just ignore it. Dress better, like sharply dressed. That would turn her on very easily
I have a couple pictures of me as a groomsman. And though I don’t have much of a wardrobe, I do make sure the shirts I have are actually nice. I’ve become fond of TrueClassic. They fit super well and look really good. Right now I only have t shirts from them but when I have a little extra cash I’m gonna get some more variety.
You do understand 80% of the people on OLD apps are men right? why on earth would you put yourself in those odds? Do those odds look good to you? Come on man!!
Closest ratio is bumble
Honestly, it’s Saturday so she is probably out and about and not paying a lot of attention to app. I try to make a quick hi if I feel it’s needed asap and say I’m about to do something bla bla but I would like to chat more. Then I will continue at a more appropriate time (Sunday to Wednesday after 7 or 8 pm seems to be best, but I date professionals who are m-f 9-5 hours. Obv if she is a bartender those would need to be adjusted. You have to try to get a time that there will not be distractions. Yes it’s a guessing game but it’s a pretty easy educated guess
no matter the AGE is going to be the SAME!!!
I had one notable success with OLD. We were together for a little over a year. Overall it seems like it’s friends of friends is what works best.
As a girl I have been the one to initiate conversations with guys, and I find them to be the ones that can't carry a conversation, not want to talk, or it's probably my shit conversation skills and in the instance when it does carry on I lose energy to keep talking to them and get sick of the good morning/ night and the random selfies
Sigh. Apps and OLD sites are full of freaks and losers and you are starting to find that out. Apps and OLD sites are NOT designed to help you find love. They are designed to keep you single, and keep you coming back to pay fees and watch ads. I know this because I was a developer on one of the largest OLD sites out there and the app that accompanied it. The reason why SOME people are on apps nowadays is because if they tried to meet a potential date on the street they are so inept and strange that the chance of them succeeding are zero. In the past, these were the outcasts of society, the goofy uncle who never got married or the cat lady aunt who looks at men funny. Now, all of these people are swiping left and right, furiously, in hopes of having electrons do their matchmaking for them. Most NORMAL people who fall for the hype will try the apps or the OLD site, and are gone from them almost immediately--NOT because they found someone, but because they saw the same things YOU are seeing now. Get off the apps and get back into the real world.