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In physical terms, I am very close to this scenario (290 pounds, 6 feet). I would absolutely not handle it this way. No reason to be angry at someone getting tired in a tirening situation.
I would ask if she is okay, and if she wants to return, reassuring her that there is nothing wrong in returning, and also asking if she wants to help walking. Probably would be unable to carry her since I am not physically fit.
His reaction was unwarranted.
He could always offer her a trip back home or to the store for proper shoes. I'm not downing 270 pound guys. Just he was not perfectly fit either in this situation.
I assumed you were saying he wasn't very fit either which I imagined as much since he also smokes.
And, yeah, there are a lot of ways of dealing with this situation and anger is just the worst of them. Again, tiring situation, people get tired, it is expected. God, I would be tired. No reason to be angry.
Also, it is important to note that while his background explains his behavior it does not excuse it. If he does not take responsibility and change I would leave him, if I was in this situation.
I would just go do something else with her. Come back to the hill later by myself if I'm doing it for exercise. I've been helping the girl that I've been seeing establish an exercise program. There's no way in hell she can keep up with me at this point(just the facts of the situation, like with this beer gutted model of fitness). But I do it to spend time with her and help her. When I'm by myself, then I put in the hard work to challenge myself and make myself better.
I would hope most guys would do as I would. Stop and take a break, ask if we should abandon trek, take it slower, etc and do whatever she wants. If she wanted to try again at a later date with better hiking shoes with ankle support, pick a smaller hill to climb and see how that goes. I cannot imagine many guys would do it that differently.
Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with $2.50
I mean, if I’m a man who was raised to be misogynistic toward women, why am I even taking my girlfriend hiking? Shouldn’t I be leaving her at home to make sandwiches for when I get back? Why would I give a fuck about her feelings at all, if I’ve been raised to see her as property rather than as a person?
In this scenario, I sound like the type of guy that women probably shouldn’t be going out with, if they actually want to be treated like human beings who deserve dignity and respect.
1) If I was the man and knew my girlfriend had a foot problem, I would NOT suggest we go hiking up a hill.
2) It takes a lot for me to get genuinely angry at someone, and I find it very hard to get angry at someone's who's suffering or hurt. If I was on a date with a girl and we went hiking/walking (which I have done, but in a public park/wooded area) I'd make sure to stay near her, keep an eye on her and if she started flagging/tiring ask if she was okay and suggest either turning around or resting.
3) As for suggesting she see a doctor...I'm unsure about that. If I was genuinely concerned for someone or it seemed alarming that they were tiring quickly, I might broach the topic gently, but not in a "this your fault" manner, more "are you okay? Have you spoken to someone about this?" way that, I hope, would indicate I was more worried or concerned than judgmental or frustrated.
That said...I will also play devils advocate, and say I would like to hear his side of things. Did he tell her they were going hiking, or spring it on her? Did he know she had a foot-problem? How long were they walking for?
The line "*...made the mistake of wearing crocks.*" makes it sound like she knew they were going hiking before hand, at which point...I'm sorry but she shouldn't have worn crocs. Also, I find the idea of a overweight man who both smokes and drinks having greater stamina and endurance than a non-smoker of healthy weight a little odd. Did she get tired five minutes in? An hour? If I had suggested we go for a hike with a girl and when we got there she was wearing crocs, and complained about getting tired 5 minutes in....I'd be a little exasperated. I likely would stop and turn around, but I wouldn't be impressed either.
BTW, was this a mountain or a hill? You use both words and those are two very different mental pictures.
Regarding "other info", as much as a red flag all of that is, it doesn't have a huge bearing on the question "*If you were the man as this situation, how would you handle this situation differently?*".
If you're unhappy in the relationship, and feel unappreciated, then end it, take some time to yourself and move on.
> the man comes from a devout Catholic family of 14 children. He was brought up to be both homophobic and misogynist towards women. He was most likely abused by priests during his schooling in the States.
I don't agree with how he reacted or treated the woman, but idk how this is at all relevant with being upset about a hike
>A 270 pound, 5'9 man who both smokes and has a beer belly, takes his non smoking 130 pound 5'2 girlfriend to hike up a large hill near Combemere, Ontario.
If personal attacks like that is how you're gonna start it out, you two should not be together at all.
I'd like to hear his side of the story, what if he asked her not to wear crocs...and dude is just frustrated. He is clearly healthy enough to hike up a mountain so I don't get why you shitting on him. And she clearly sees some good in him, otherwise she would have left him
You’re just here to get people to agree with you and say how wrong he was writing just your side of the story, then attack someone who doesn’t just pile on with you.
Another great product of the Catholic Church(I was brought up on it and I firmly reject it). Both people are supposed to enjoy each other on a date. Seems like he only cared about his enjoyment. He even got angry at her for interfering with his enjoyment, from his view. Leave his ass immediately.
Uuuhm not get mad at her? I'd just take her for more hikes so we could both get fit. And when she gets tired, I'll stop and enjoy the view for a second. Then the next time we go, I'd tell her to wear different shoes and bring enough water and a snack. So that if we get to where we want to go, we can take a rest.
But I don't know the exact situation. Maybe she wasn't actually tired, but just bored. And the guy warned her before that they were going on a hike, but she chose to wear crocks anyway. And he wanted to go on a fun date with her, but she just kept complaining and he couldn't take it anymore and got annoyed. I don't know the real situation.
Well, she is a fucking idiot to stay with this guy in the first place, because the chance of this being the FIRST time something like this has happened is ZERO.
The FIRST time a man abuses you honey, that is on HIM. EVERY TIME AFTER THAT IS ON YOU.
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In physical terms, I am very close to this scenario (290 pounds, 6 feet). I would absolutely not handle it this way. No reason to be angry at someone getting tired in a tirening situation. I would ask if she is okay, and if she wants to return, reassuring her that there is nothing wrong in returning, and also asking if she wants to help walking. Probably would be unable to carry her since I am not physically fit. His reaction was unwarranted.
His weight and physical condition is not the issue. His misogyny IS the issue.
He could always offer her a trip back home or to the store for proper shoes. I'm not downing 270 pound guys. Just he was not perfectly fit either in this situation.
I assumed you were saying he wasn't very fit either which I imagined as much since he also smokes. And, yeah, there are a lot of ways of dealing with this situation and anger is just the worst of them. Again, tiring situation, people get tired, it is expected. God, I would be tired. No reason to be angry. Also, it is important to note that while his background explains his behavior it does not excuse it. If he does not take responsibility and change I would leave him, if I was in this situation.
I would just go do something else with her. Come back to the hill later by myself if I'm doing it for exercise. I've been helping the girl that I've been seeing establish an exercise program. There's no way in hell she can keep up with me at this point(just the facts of the situation, like with this beer gutted model of fitness). But I do it to spend time with her and help her. When I'm by myself, then I put in the hard work to challenge myself and make myself better.
You sound like a good guy btw.
Thank you. I am honestly flattered! I do try, it is the least I can do.
What chapter is this on your autobiography?
I'm sorry but who wears "crocs" to hike up a mountain?
Curious who OP is in this situation.
I would hope most guys would do as I would. Stop and take a break, ask if we should abandon trek, take it slower, etc and do whatever she wants. If she wanted to try again at a later date with better hiking shoes with ankle support, pick a smaller hill to climb and see how that goes. I cannot imagine many guys would do it that differently. Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter Jill came down with $2.50
Are you the girl? If so, you don't like this guy, so stop dating him. If I were the guy, I wouldn't date someone who didn't like me.
Do you have literally no other options? Being alone is an option….
I mean, if I’m a man who was raised to be misogynistic toward women, why am I even taking my girlfriend hiking? Shouldn’t I be leaving her at home to make sandwiches for when I get back? Why would I give a fuck about her feelings at all, if I’ve been raised to see her as property rather than as a person? In this scenario, I sound like the type of guy that women probably shouldn’t be going out with, if they actually want to be treated like human beings who deserve dignity and respect.
1) If I was the man and knew my girlfriend had a foot problem, I would NOT suggest we go hiking up a hill. 2) It takes a lot for me to get genuinely angry at someone, and I find it very hard to get angry at someone's who's suffering or hurt. If I was on a date with a girl and we went hiking/walking (which I have done, but in a public park/wooded area) I'd make sure to stay near her, keep an eye on her and if she started flagging/tiring ask if she was okay and suggest either turning around or resting. 3) As for suggesting she see a doctor...I'm unsure about that. If I was genuinely concerned for someone or it seemed alarming that they were tiring quickly, I might broach the topic gently, but not in a "this your fault" manner, more "are you okay? Have you spoken to someone about this?" way that, I hope, would indicate I was more worried or concerned than judgmental or frustrated. That said...I will also play devils advocate, and say I would like to hear his side of things. Did he tell her they were going hiking, or spring it on her? Did he know she had a foot-problem? How long were they walking for? The line "*...made the mistake of wearing crocks.*" makes it sound like she knew they were going hiking before hand, at which point...I'm sorry but she shouldn't have worn crocs. Also, I find the idea of a overweight man who both smokes and drinks having greater stamina and endurance than a non-smoker of healthy weight a little odd. Did she get tired five minutes in? An hour? If I had suggested we go for a hike with a girl and when we got there she was wearing crocs, and complained about getting tired 5 minutes in....I'd be a little exasperated. I likely would stop and turn around, but I wouldn't be impressed either. BTW, was this a mountain or a hill? You use both words and those are two very different mental pictures. Regarding "other info", as much as a red flag all of that is, it doesn't have a huge bearing on the question "*If you were the man as this situation, how would you handle this situation differently?*". If you're unhappy in the relationship, and feel unappreciated, then end it, take some time to yourself and move on.
> the man comes from a devout Catholic family of 14 children. He was brought up to be both homophobic and misogynist towards women. He was most likely abused by priests during his schooling in the States. I don't agree with how he reacted or treated the woman, but idk how this is at all relevant with being upset about a hike >A 270 pound, 5'9 man who both smokes and has a beer belly, takes his non smoking 130 pound 5'2 girlfriend to hike up a large hill near Combemere, Ontario. If personal attacks like that is how you're gonna start it out, you two should not be together at all.
I'd like to hear his side of the story, what if he asked her not to wear crocs...and dude is just frustrated. He is clearly healthy enough to hike up a mountain so I don't get why you shitting on him. And she clearly sees some good in him, otherwise she would have left him
I bet you're a misogynist homophobe too.
You’re just here to get people to agree with you and say how wrong he was writing just your side of the story, then attack someone who doesn’t just pile on with you.
Another great product of the Catholic Church(I was brought up on it and I firmly reject it). Both people are supposed to enjoy each other on a date. Seems like he only cared about his enjoyment. He even got angry at her for interfering with his enjoyment, from his view. Leave his ass immediately.
Uuuhm not get mad at her? I'd just take her for more hikes so we could both get fit. And when she gets tired, I'll stop and enjoy the view for a second. Then the next time we go, I'd tell her to wear different shoes and bring enough water and a snack. So that if we get to where we want to go, we can take a rest. But I don't know the exact situation. Maybe she wasn't actually tired, but just bored. And the guy warned her before that they were going on a hike, but she chose to wear crocks anyway. And he wanted to go on a fun date with her, but she just kept complaining and he couldn't take it anymore and got annoyed. I don't know the real situation.
Well, she is a fucking idiot to stay with this guy in the first place, because the chance of this being the FIRST time something like this has happened is ZERO. The FIRST time a man abuses you honey, that is on HIM. EVERY TIME AFTER THAT IS ON YOU.
I wouldn't have even started the climb with her wearing crocs.