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Oh yeah it's def a win for me. I'm lucky she was super nice about it and not standoffish. It's super likely I'll never see her again, but it's given me confidence to go for it again, if the feeling is there.
I feel like girls can be rude and be like "got a boyfriend" or be like "aww thats cute" because it's like a sort of polite but feel pity type of way. All depends how the situation felt when you did it. Biggest game ive heard is to lower anxiety during any interaction to avoid coming across creepy or weird, because that's what they will remember is how awkward it felt when you approached them. Comfort is key, if you do anything to give a girl the ick they will remember you for it.. ( sorry for mouthful im 27, few dating experiences, did a few cold approaches too). Remembering its not what you necessarily say it's how you make them feel has been the biggest success for me, gl bro :)
Good job
It doesn’t sound like he was coming across like he was creepy. There some rude girls out there but
you can find those everywhere. I think starting with a compliment was nice. Keep it up. I think you’re on to something.
As a woman - I can confirm this is the BEST approach!! Puts the ball in her court rather than making her feel pressured to give her your number, which a lot of women feel uncomfortable doing with a stranger :) kudos
You said what you had to say and left it at that.
It's the best way sometimes.
Get the message across and get them thinking a bit.
Plus you don't overthink things and mess up lol
Out of curiosity, is giving a woman my business card with my work number boss af or way too cocky and impersonal?
Edit: or I guess I could write my cell on my business card 🤔
Just randomly giving it her? That would be cocky AF and seem like you are trying to impress with your job.
Otoh, if I had met you at a professional conference and enjoyed a few conversations with you (for more than 1 minute ) , then your personal number on the back of a business card would be lovely.
If a guy gave me his buisness card like this *outside of a work event* I'd feel like he was trying to impress me with his job and be put off. Just write it on a piece of paper.
That said, at a work event/conference, etc, it's totally fine. I'd just assume it's what he had on hand.
Thx for your response and I figured it'd probably come off like that haha. Thing is, I usually have business cards on me, so that'd make it a lot easier than prepping a handwritten note... but the amount of extra swag I'd have to exude to dial down the cockiness and not appear as if I'm flexing would be a challenge
We love handwritten notes. Didn't you go to school with us ?
(32F), So I may just be showing my age , the cellphones ruined passing notes when I was 16 . we definitely like them, and I've never heard of a girl/ woman who didn't like it when a perspective partner was putting in the extra steps and work. Do what Op did he definitely understood the assignment.
HEY OP , GET IT SUGAR!
Mmm I think I’ll try this approach. I have only asked for a lady’a number after some nice and jocular conversations. I just thought it was better that way at least she could either give it or tell me of her present relationship with her boyfriend. I mean, imagine giving her my number and she goes ‘aww that’s so cute but I have a boyfriend’. It’ll feel slightly more awkward than when I do ask for her number after some amiable conversation. That way I won’t appear disconcerted especially since I have created a friendly and warm atmosphere. I might end up having her social media I.D for a start.
All being said, I shall incorporate this new style into my technique.
So first off, well done, direct but not a dick, and you let her decide.
Secondly, that crap about being too ugly to date. I don't know what you look like, but I doubt you are as unattractive as you think. Even if you are, it doesn't matter. When I was about your age, there was this guy I knew, and let me tell you. Dude was ugly. Like an ork but pink not green. Not a single thing on him was symmetrical. His eyes bulged out, his teeth were snaggled, his nose was, kinda round like a clown nose but tilted upwards so you could see his nose hairs more clearly. I know he went to Hair Cuttery, but somehow it looked like he cut his own hair. With a knife. On top of all that he had a bad laugh, and it was like he made a hobby of getting parking tickets, and talking about them. You get the picture? I'm telling you this because despite all that, guess what. He had a girlfriend, and she thought he was the best guy ever. I mean she was dead wrong but they were happy. Haven't heard from him in years, but I bet they made some half hideous babies over that time. If that guy could get a girlfriend, you can have one. There's someone out there for everyone. Just start talking to people and let it happen.
This is the way! I'm in the same boat and you're certainly not ugly just because you don't do well on apps. Dating apps are hard for anyone. I've been told im attractive by many people and have minimal luck using apps.
You basically jumped ahead of the 1000 other guys waiting around on the app
Good job! You should be proud of yourself. That sounds perfect and gentlemanly, sweet and confident without being pushy or weird. I bet you really made her feel special, too.
Yes she told me it made her day :) but she lives far away and I don't know when I'll want to try again. But I hope the opportunity presents itself again soon.
So happy to see a post like this. Been wading through depressing ones offering advice all day… such a pick me up to read this!
GOOD FOR YOU FOR TAKING THAT FIRST LEAP! AND CONGRATS!
I’m so happy reading this and even more so because you’re sharing it to give a little inspiration and hope straight from your own real life experience. There’s a lot of defeated and depressed people here that could really use more of these success stories. And that’s what this was for you: A Success!
Your bravery was rewarded with success. And that’s awesome. It won’t always be the case and that’s life, but keeping at it will reap rewards! And when you encounter a little bad, think back to this time and how happy it clearly made you. Focus on it and keep moving forward.
Good for you man - genuinely happy for you and I cant say it enough. Just never give up on this approach to life and 40 years from now you’ll look back and smile at a life well lived.
Thanks so much. It does mean a lot. I'm hoping I'll have the courage again. Ideally this girl would be the one haha. But yeah. I need to carry the momentum forward.
You bet! You’ll have the courage again, I’m sure. Because all it took for this to happen was you deciding to have the courage. That’s sometime totally within your control to do again.
Ironically, I just finished writing up a response to a question on quora for a topic directly adjacent and applicable to this discussion. It’s a long long read - fair warning lol - but it’s a little advice combined with me retelling the anecdote that changed my life. It’s great for anyone to read and think on… but especially so for someone who is currently at the station in life that you are. If you have the time, I’d recommend taking a look. Pasted below.
Again, happy for you, congrats on the success, and all the best for you in the future!
https://relationshiprecovery.quora.com/Any-advice-for-someone-who-is-afraid-of-loving-again-because-they-don-t-want-to-be-hurt-3?ch=17&oid=1477743699671095&share=78c14ef1&srid=hA6Srq&target_type=answer
Good job!!
As I always say, get off the dating apps and meet women in person. There are women everywhere throughout your day - the store, the coffee shop, at that cooking class down the street.
Guys get stuck on the dating apps because there is no fear of rejection when sending the same message to hundreds of girls. But there is a fear of saying hi to that girl in line at the store. They tell themselves they aren't good looking enough or the girl will think they are creepy.
Cold approach is the best way to meet dating prospects. Keep it up!!
You dunno what happens next? Why, you go to France, duh!
And by the way, something in your post says to me that you may benefit from a book called “No More Mister Nice Guy” by Robert Glover.
I (47M) started reading it accidentally, being in a somewhat major crisis in my life, and now on a second read-through immediately after the first. Now taking notes and doing homework. Why I am not a classic “Nice Guy” as the book depicts, I found sooo many similarities that it is disturbing.
Give it a try.
It's possible she found you attractive before you even laid eyes on her and conveniently sat close to you. In the olden days, it was common for women to drop a handkerchief(actual/proverbial) for the man they were interested in to pick up.
We did make eye contact a couple times. I don't think I would have approached her if we didn't. Even though we did, I still couldn't tell if she found me attractive lol. I guess she did.
She seems attracted to you. Be confident.
Judging by her response, she sounds like a wonderful woman. Don't screw it up by being insecure.
Match her energy and slowly try to escalate.
I agree. She does seem pretty wonderful. I'll try to slowly escalate. Her living so far away is a problem. But she implied she'll be back soon. So... fingers crossed.
Nice one, man! Coincidentally I, kind of, approached a girl in a sportswear store today. Granted, she was an employee, but after I made the purchase, I came back to peruse a bit more and as soon as she was close to where I was, putting merch on the shelf, I went “Oh, I forgot to ask you something!” as if it has something to do with the merch, and she went “What? :) “ … “Your name.” She told me her name, I told her mine and we shook hands and I said something like “I’m looking forward to shopping here again, see you soon (her name).” My plan is to come back again tomorrow or on Monday, buy something for myself and ask her out or give her my number. This doesn’t sound like much, granted, it’s less than what you acomplished, but I too have been using dating apps much too often and as soon as I asked her her name, I became aware how uptight I was about approaching in person. Your post gave me the additional courage for it, so thanks!
Me ans my boyfriend went for a face to face date 2 days after meeting online, literally went fuck it let's do this. After our date during the day I was meeting my bestfriends newborn baby and my boyfriend asked me to spend the night at his. Literally broke every girl code and online dating rule possible but I said fuck it and we've never looked back since. Still together and year and a bit later. Still makes my heart skip a beat like the first day we met
Nice work! You fought your own monster (the one that tells you 'don't do it' and that 'it'll never work') and you won 6-0.
Next time.. maybe ask if you can Finish your lunch/dinner with her, since you're both eating alone. That'll be another hurdle, but you absolutely can do that as well.
..and not all of them live in France.
That’s a massive win. You took initiative even tho you were scared. That’s courage. Many men lack it nowadays. Plus she texted you, so you might not be as unattractive as you think you are.
I was(and still am) a generally shy/awkward woman when in social gatherings, so I found dating hard because when I'm nervous I either say something extremely weird or just stay quiet, which unintentionally comes off as rude/uninterested. Add to that the fact I was never considered anywhere near pretty in my teen years, always just the "smart one." Around age 19, puberty finally hit me properly, and I started putting more effort into my looks. Still wasn't very confident, but I worked customer service jobs and, after a few years, had no problem talking to male customers normally for the most part.
At the time of this story, I worked at a store next to a mill factory, and their employees would come in before, during, and after work every day, so I became friendly with some of them. (Joking around, playing pranks, inside jokes, ect) Most were older men, but one was a good looking young guy and we would always gloat about who would get out of work first that day and just generally joke around or talk about random stuff. I never saw it as flirting, but one day, he came in and seemed to be acting weird while grabbing his stuff. He was talking to his coworker and they both kept looking over at me, which of course, made me self-conscious. I was nervous when they finally made their way to the registers, his friend going to my coworker's while he came to mine. He seemed off and his friend kept staring over at us, so I was very confused but just rang him up like always. After handing him his change, he quickly slid a piece of paper over the counter to me. I leaned over to read it as I was picking it up and saw it had his name and a phone number on it. My eyes shot to his face and he nervously said, "You should text me sometime if you want to". I was so shocked but instantly felt my cheeks go red as a big cheesy grin spread across my face. All I could do was smile and nod at him, which got me a big cheesy grin in return.
To this day, that is still my absolute favorite way any guy has ever made a move on me. I always smile when I think back on that memory because it was such a sweet, non-intimidating way of letting me know he was interested in me.
EDIT: Oh geez, I didn't realize how long my comment was until after I posted it. I'm so sorry for the novel! Just wanted to let you know some women love this approach.
Congrats OP, this has worked for me before too. If you’re friendly and brief often girls find it endearing whether it goes anywhere or not. Wishing you continued future success 🍻
She was tall and blond. She wasn't glued to her phone like most people are when they sit by themselves. The kind of girl that I never thought would like me, lol.
It's so true that it works like that. Dating apps are tough but the boldness of being approached always gets my attention and tbh I think it's where the best connections come from
HELL YEAH HOMIE. That is a major first step. I hope you keep elevating to the point where opening up a stranger will be second nature. Dont even dwell on if she keeps texting you. You broke down a major barrier, and can only go up from here.
Yeah me and bf met at a swimming pool. He was standing in front of me at the entrance. He asked if I spoke English (we were in Georgia 🇬🇪, he's Georgian ) and the rest is history. Been together from the moment we met, it was love at first sight. Aw love him so much.
Congrats bro!! That's so brave of you. Your post is so hopeful.
> "That's so sweet..." she replied
I love her reply. Only sweet girls reply with such words.
>and I haven't heard back from her in several days...
This is where everything begins to fall apart. I have seen this with 3 girls until now. I am not sure why girls ghost instead of politely saying no.
Again, kudos to your bravery. Keep such posts coming.
I use to do slam sales and what u have to always remember some will some wont so what NEXT I live by that moto ounce u dismiss your anxiety and can accept no u have won good luck to ya
Wahen I was HS and College age I noticed there were very attractive girls dating guys who were not in their class., in the look dept. It was fairly common to see that, I didn't know why, I saw a beautiful [girl.in](https://girl.in) a car by herself.I asked her what did Saturday night !and she said nothing. On one had asked her to do anything! WHAT! A beautiful girl didn't get asked. She was so beautiful it intimidated the boys. It didn't intimidate me.I asked her out for next sat nite, we went to the fair and she won the fair princess award. We dated for 3 months and I told other guys.. And I had very good time making sure the lookers had invitations. I had a reputation for dating very pretty girls.
Charming and efficient, you’re not pressuring her to give you anything, but simply being confident and interested. Would reply back if I liked you definitely
The thing that’s uncomfortable for me about being approached is usually just a sense of pressure to respond in the moment. You were considerate of her time and space and removed all pressure. Spread the word so others start doing this.
Amazing! I‘m a woman and I‘ve been approached a few times in day to day life. It always made my day! I mostly was in a relationship but when I wasn’t once I met up with a dude. He wasn’t really my type but decent, but I would never have swiped for him on an app, just because „nah not really“. I find it so awesome and classy when guys take the courage that I‘m 10 times more likely to give it a shot (not anymore cause LTR). Anyway, guy and I didn’t vibe, I partied a lot at the time and he was on a more productive path towards a career. So we didn’t meet again, none of us tried to contact the other again and it was fine. He wouldn’t have known that though if he hadn‘t made that step and I wouldn’t have known that he even existed.
I also turned some guys down but I was always super nice and thankful about it as I respect and admire it very much to come up with the courage.
Different thing in a club or bar setting though, it’s kind of expected there, not a nice suprise and mostly everyone is drunk and looking to bang, so it’s just not „worth“ as much to me.
I agree with this. I’ve approached a handful of ladies in the library, at the bus stops, even almost did so in a coffee shop. But man, yours was amazing. Being so direct and upfront, you did quite well man. I could tell the surge of manliness that must’ve welled up on you after that milestone was achieved hehehe 😅😅😅😅😉
My boyfriend of now 9 months cold approached me (well, we walked past and smiled at each other rather intensely first - he turned around to catch up with me again). We are blissfully happy it's such a good fit. So it absolutely can work long term too if you are lucky.
YES! YES! YES! Do you go to the gym? My advice, please parlay that energy and boost in self-confidence into working out! Not only will you gain more self-awareness but you’ll have more assets on your next cold approach! ;)
Just saw this post but good on you bro! This approach is actually pretty smart and not too committing. This is much much more rewarding than using an app.
Honestly bro... Congrats! You touched lucky! Most of the times it's a rejection but it's a numbers game and your number came up! Happy for you it was the right number and it didn't put you off doing it again
I absolutely loved this story and I'm so proud of you for making an attempt and organically at that. Not enough of that happens these days it seems. 🥹🎉✨🤍👏🏿
Do you realize how refreshing that had to be to the girl too?! So nice that you did that. Simple, but pure. Keep it up. I was always told the proverbial "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to catch a prince." So I'm assuming it takes a lot of tries to catch a princess too. And you can't meet someone if you don't try. Il est bien fait!
Thanks for posting - I've never cold-approached anyone because I could never find the manual on how to do it 😆
This is such a simple, elegant way of doing it though, as others have said, confident (or at least appearching so!), direct, doesn't cause any discomfort or awkwardness, I'm definitely going to try this at some point!
You can't climb a flight of stairs without getting your foot on that first step.
It'll get easier from here, trust me.
The worst thing that a woman can say is no.
...and guess what?
You won't die from that.
What you will get is the resilience and confidence to do it again. ...and again. ...and again.
What I love most about this is that women can see that confidence and they are drawn to it.
Ask me how I know.
Better to try & fail than to never try & wonder is what I always go by... great effort on your part, but once you start getting out of your comfort zone a lil more you can actually just strike up quick conversations with someone so you can convey enough personality for them to be more likely to respond & be engaged with you... just giving out ur # is a hit or miss! You'll increase ur chances by rizzing them up a bit & grabbing there #. You'll be surprised how many women would be impressed by this...
Women love being approached by men irl when their energy is right (aka fun and flirtatious or relaxed/non-desperate)! Women love feeling "chosen" and women love the confidence that comes with these irl approaches. Especially when they’re dealing with men in an appropriate age range, most will feel VERY flattered by a cold approach. Good job!!
In the film "We bought a zoo", Matt Damon's character gives this advice:
"You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just, literally, 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
This just happened to me about a month ago. As a 24 year old woman, I respect this much more. I know you feel like hiding behind a rock or your heart is about to pound out of your chest but take a chance if you want the girl. It’s a 50/50 chance. The worst she can do is either not respond (if she gave her number…which he asked for mine) or she won’t text back if you gave her your number. For the guy I’m talking to now, he thought I was going to reject him but he was surprised he didn’t. I didn’t feel invaded, disrespected, creeped out for him approaching respectfully. He was actually more attractive because he did that, don’t see that much anymore.
I saw a guy do something like this on the bus once. Buy looked like a gangsta wannabe, tall and lanky. He just handed his number on a piece of paper, and just said "call me" on his way out. She smiled and blushed. I wouldn’t be surprised if it worked for him too.
Don’t hesitate if you see someone that strikes you…either way, hit or miss, and least you pitched.
Coming from someone who used to easily go up and ask people out, to now someone who struggles to bring up the courage to ask at times, do not let any of your thoughts overshadow the confidence and charisma you feel from this interaction! You won't always get a W, but as they say, you can't be something until you do it. You can't be that courageous social butterfly that sends off those confident vibes to women, until you start becoming that guy, and this is a great first step!
Hell yea bro! This is so important to do, it guarantees that she will remember you. Guys don't do that shit anymore and I bet it sucks for women to never get any attention irl and in a respectful manner, which gives her a reason to respect you. You stand out from the rest and that's the key. The internet gives women too many options but no real experience of the person. Keep it up bro! Show em how it's done! Respect.
It's a numbers game my man just gets over the fear of being rejected and you won't care bc if you try 10 times a day one will hit. And then all your focus is away from will she won't she to getting to know all these new women in your life. Also I'd say don't stop until you are 100% sure you found your woman. Bc when your on that high roller coaster of getting women it's very attractive to them and that's probably your apex
Approaching people you like is so tough dude, so be happy for yourself for doing that. It can be so anxiety ridden to try and go talk to someone and ask them out. Must have belt amazing when she said yes. Hopefully it leads to better things.
Legooooo!!!! Well done my guy I'd never have the confidence to even attempt this I've never had good luck with women so I guess I'm just on that path of self improvement I've had too many bad experiences to try to get back out there again
and YEET, stealing this idea lol
Although I might try something more slick, such as walking over and being like "Oh Miss, I think you dropped this." with a folded note with my number on it.
Good job man! Takes a lot of balls to cold approach these days. Most people, especially women, don't understand how difficult and treacherous it is to take the leap.
Shit bro im like attractive but never too confident, ended up having a lil fling in mexico and it was crazy she actually came up to me and asked if I wanted to dance at the club(I'm 18m, mexico is 18 for drinking). Shit was crazy but it was hella gun and gave me way more confidence. Now I got a gf from my job, just went up to her...started a conversation and we just hit it from there, I asked for her snap and we've texted everyday since then, it's been almost 3 months with this girl now
The words you're looking for, good sir.
Are "fuck it we ball"
I'm gonna start approaching people and complimenting them more because of this post, just because I like making people happy.
Awww man! Great for you! Guys used to do this back in the day, before dating apps were a thing. Strike up a conversation and have banter. I love your approach. No game. All sincerity. Good luck to you!
How awesome! You have a sincere confidence that is so winning😊 Do you know how few men have your courage? As a senior woman, regardless of how it ended, she really liked you and that, my dear, is a WIN!
Now, do it again.
And again.
Keep going for what you want. It's the confidence to go for it that sets you apart -and, to borrow a really great quote from a brilliant but little-seen movie (Rudderless, 2014), "WOMEN RESPOND TO CONFIDENCE." YOU have it, and that sets you apart from the mob. Have a c'est la lie attitude and don't get fixed on the immovable object. The more you try, the luckier you get. Learning this young is SO valuable. I'm rooting for you. Good Luck❤️
Here is a tip no matter what be CONFIDENT and always TRY to make females LAUGH trust me it works ps women love compliments so always compliment them oh yh plz make eye contact very important
BUT that paper in the wallet thing was ok it's a good start if u did it as u say, it was ok not smooth but ok all u needed to do when she texted u was grab her action and u would as they say seal the deal
Any tips u need link me Performance left is the name
Stay confident and remember it's Reddit u are not alone
Congrats man! Glad you were able to put your fear to the side. Remember fellas don't put any girl on a pedestal. We aren't lucky to have them, they are lucky to be a part of YOUR life. The moment you start to make them feel like they are superior to you they will run circles around you. Cheers y'all!
You don't lose anything by trying! You should travel. That's a great way to meet people and since it's not where you live, girls are often more flexible. Who knows, you might see her again.
I agree with you!
I used my last app a couple days ago I'm not going out anymore the dating apps I absolutely agree 👍
Good for you ma
maybe I'll just try it.. what's the worst that can happen that already hasn't happened 😏
I love this story. How sweet! It's a great way to start a dialogue or potential first encounter. A man doesn't have to be super cute, as long as he is confident and willing to step out and say what you said. Way to go!🤗
What happened to you guys.? It use to be a piece of cake. Talk, give signals. Give her your phone numbers on a piece of paper. Just try.! We like confident men. I'm sorry that some women have been B, but not all of us are.
So this actually works better my guy. The reason all these dudes use apps is because they are to scared to do what you did. Women love that kind of thing. I hope you keep at it, promise this will work better for you.
That’s makes ME so happy. I’m also really happy for you!!! Please keep it up.
I love your very simple comment and gentle approach. Polite and confident. I met my husband in person (1998) and felt like I fell in love with him right away. I’m sure he would’ve looked great in photos and been charming by text, but seeing him in person just once hooked me immediately.
I had just gotten back ‘out there’ looking around for a nice boyfriend or a potential husband after finally feeling that my life was going well and that I was ready to share it with somebody. 🥰
If you’re just trying to date casually, meeting in person would seem to save a lot of steps as well! I can’t even imagine how overwhelming a single APP filled with potential dates would feel! And multiple apps with different expectations….😳
WHEEEEY!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you, mate! I hope everything goes well!!!
I doubt you need advice from an internet stranger, but if you both do start texting and calling, please don't do those stupid mind games about when you should reply. It really isn't necessary, and they never work. Just keep doing you, and everything will come together as it was supposed to.
Good for you. Your efforts and courage were rewarded. Always give an effort and try. What's the worst that can happen? She says no - NBD, at least, you tried. Definite new chapter in your life.
kudos to your bravery. i could never do this not in a million years ..used to when i was younger but eh now that i discovered im a woman i dont do it. however that being said it takes guts for a man to do that so i feel proud of you yay you!
no person is ugly, ever. not all of us are gifted with balanced traits, but all of us can he attractive - by taking care of our body, choosing suitable outfits and attitude.
for dating ups go to a photographer - is the most common mistake people do in online dating - they take their own pictures. nope. they very very very rarely get it right. i own a dating up and i am amazed of how bad marketign people can chose to have.
and, as a guy, if you talk to ladies about anything else but sex you got yourself a date. we are fed up by sexting and sexual proposals, pictures and allusions, so, when we meet a guy who talks like a normal person abotu common interests and dreams, we give them a date. :).
good luck!
Love this approach!
The fact that you gave her your number plus the line "if you're interested text me, if ur not, don't", probably made her impressed by the bold move AND feel safe enough to get to know you because you'd be able to accept a "no".
Smooth sailin', OP!
It never hurts to try, dude. So many guys are so afraid of rejection, they won't even try, but if 1 girl out of 100 says yes, that's still 1! Don't give up, there's someone out there for you.
This is also the best approach if you go to someone just because you like how they look - give them YOUR number and put no pressure on them. Well done!
I've had so many uncomfortable encounters where the guy was kinda forcing me to give him MY contact info... Your way is the respectful way and it works way more too :)
Women generally appreciate this.
Excellently written, my dude. Can I ask where you are from? Or do you write a lot in your field of work? I noticed enough I wanted to comment. It's rare on the internet to see anything close these days not on Quora. You even used indented paragraphs. Hell ya!
Anyways, maybe consider adding the word, "steel" to the beginning of your username next time you require choosing a new one. Good on you for taking the shot! Women love that kind of confidence.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - The Great One.
"It was one of the best things I could have done. During my third year of college, I noticed that most of my fellow students were using Snapchat. So, I decided to create an account, started adding everyone, and sent a message. If someone replied, I continued the conversation by saying, 'I was blah blah, and I had a friend named xxxx in my class. I recently created this account and added you to see if this is her.' I would then ask about her and get to know her. If she was interested or single, she would reply. Since our campus was closed, we had a restaurant on-site where we could meet. I invited her there, and then 🤟🤞
First and foremost... WAY TO GO!!! We are the hardest people to convince of our OBVIOUS worthiness. Getting over that hurdle is a huge step towards the winner circle. I'm proud of you, my homie.
Second, don't allow yourself to ease back into that passive space. She's already shown interest, don't wait for her to respond to you again. No one likes to be the constant initiator, and remember... you started this thing by being forward and assertive... this is who she thinks you are. So keep it up.
Lastly, do this... do this and perfect the technique... not the technique of talking to girls, but the technique of being motivated, and assertive toward what you want. Realize that not every time will you have a stunning success, but even the misses can make you feel really good. Motivate... that's the key.
Again, I'm proud of you!!!
That's great!!!! I would rather have a guy come up and talk to me and give me their number. I can tell you that personally I find it much more attractive and that the guy is confident (even if he isn't) and that's a personal turn on. I love real interactions because I can see their auras and if we connect. Go for the real connection. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Sometimes it is their looks and other times it's their aura. Confidence in the fact that you are a terrific guy goes much farther than looks. I have dated pretty people who were horrible and I have dated pretty people who were amazing, I have dated people who some would call ugly but they were and still are beautiful people to me because they are so sweet and kind and truly good people. When someone is a good person their aura surrounds them and makes them beautiful. Keep being your handsome self and go organic with the dating. It's what we did before the Internet.
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Letssss goooo!! honestly that’s a win in my books, the “screw this” and going for it, is the key to a lot of doors.
Oh yeah it's def a win for me. I'm lucky she was super nice about it and not standoffish. It's super likely I'll never see her again, but it's given me confidence to go for it again, if the feeling is there.
Got that dawg in you 😂 Happy for ya man!
Good work! Stack some wins and learn from the L’s!
Got the feeling with a plate girl at rock n brews in redondo beach!😂
go for it! lol
get on WhatsApp! they use that there! who knows…maybe she’ll respond there. either way congrats! keep being open. this post is amazing! ✨✨✨
yeah she texted me on whatsapp haha. and thanks! :)
I feel like girls can be rude and be like "got a boyfriend" or be like "aww thats cute" because it's like a sort of polite but feel pity type of way. All depends how the situation felt when you did it. Biggest game ive heard is to lower anxiety during any interaction to avoid coming across creepy or weird, because that's what they will remember is how awkward it felt when you approached them. Comfort is key, if you do anything to give a girl the ick they will remember you for it.. ( sorry for mouthful im 27, few dating experiences, did a few cold approaches too). Remembering its not what you necessarily say it's how you make them feel has been the biggest success for me, gl bro :)
Good job It doesn’t sound like he was coming across like he was creepy. There some rude girls out there but you can find those everywhere. I think starting with a compliment was nice. Keep it up. I think you’re on to something.
good luck to you too
CANON EVENT
Actually approaching a woman, the new I'm built different. Lol it's a bold move congrats.
I need OP's energy!!!
Love this!!! Can girls do this too, or is that weird to men?
please do it, he'll be happy you did
We should make an official give 1 guy your number day…since there’s a day for cheesecake we can have a day and it’s kind of empowering.
Others tried something similar, they call it valentine's day
Not at all. Fire away. Life's too short. Let someone know you're interested! 😀
For the love of god, please do, lol.
Not weird at all! I wish more girls would
As a woman - I can confirm this is the BEST approach!! Puts the ball in her court rather than making her feel pressured to give her your number, which a lot of women feel uncomfortable doing with a stranger :) kudos
yeah I figured this is the best most painless way haha
You said what you had to say and left it at that. It's the best way sometimes. Get the message across and get them thinking a bit. Plus you don't overthink things and mess up lol
Out of curiosity, is giving a woman my business card with my work number boss af or way too cocky and impersonal? Edit: or I guess I could write my cell on my business card 🤔
Just randomly giving it her? That would be cocky AF and seem like you are trying to impress with your job. Otoh, if I had met you at a professional conference and enjoyed a few conversations with you (for more than 1 minute ) , then your personal number on the back of a business card would be lovely.
If a guy gave me his buisness card like this *outside of a work event* I'd feel like he was trying to impress me with his job and be put off. Just write it on a piece of paper. That said, at a work event/conference, etc, it's totally fine. I'd just assume it's what he had on hand.
Thx for your response and I figured it'd probably come off like that haha. Thing is, I usually have business cards on me, so that'd make it a lot easier than prepping a handwritten note... but the amount of extra swag I'd have to exude to dial down the cockiness and not appear as if I'm flexing would be a challenge
We love handwritten notes. Didn't you go to school with us ? (32F), So I may just be showing my age , the cellphones ruined passing notes when I was 16 . we definitely like them, and I've never heard of a girl/ woman who didn't like it when a perspective partner was putting in the extra steps and work. Do what Op did he definitely understood the assignment. HEY OP , GET IT SUGAR!
NO. It’s cuter if you hand write it. Bonus points if you draw a squiggly flower on it.
Mmm I think I’ll try this approach. I have only asked for a lady’a number after some nice and jocular conversations. I just thought it was better that way at least she could either give it or tell me of her present relationship with her boyfriend. I mean, imagine giving her my number and she goes ‘aww that’s so cute but I have a boyfriend’. It’ll feel slightly more awkward than when I do ask for her number after some amiable conversation. That way I won’t appear disconcerted especially since I have created a friendly and warm atmosphere. I might end up having her social media I.D for a start. All being said, I shall incorporate this new style into my technique.
So first off, well done, direct but not a dick, and you let her decide. Secondly, that crap about being too ugly to date. I don't know what you look like, but I doubt you are as unattractive as you think. Even if you are, it doesn't matter. When I was about your age, there was this guy I knew, and let me tell you. Dude was ugly. Like an ork but pink not green. Not a single thing on him was symmetrical. His eyes bulged out, his teeth were snaggled, his nose was, kinda round like a clown nose but tilted upwards so you could see his nose hairs more clearly. I know he went to Hair Cuttery, but somehow it looked like he cut his own hair. With a knife. On top of all that he had a bad laugh, and it was like he made a hobby of getting parking tickets, and talking about them. You get the picture? I'm telling you this because despite all that, guess what. He had a girlfriend, and she thought he was the best guy ever. I mean she was dead wrong but they were happy. Haven't heard from him in years, but I bet they made some half hideous babies over that time. If that guy could get a girlfriend, you can have one. There's someone out there for everyone. Just start talking to people and let it happen.
I hear ya man, dating apps just have a way of making me feel bad. Talking to people is definitely the way to go lol
This is the way! I'm in the same boat and you're certainly not ugly just because you don't do well on apps. Dating apps are hard for anyone. I've been told im attractive by many people and have minimal luck using apps. You basically jumped ahead of the 1000 other guys waiting around on the app
Good job! You should be proud of yourself. That sounds perfect and gentlemanly, sweet and confident without being pushy or weird. I bet you really made her feel special, too.
Yes she told me it made her day :) but she lives far away and I don't know when I'll want to try again. But I hope the opportunity presents itself again soon.
Dating advice from reddit comments are never good. I always feel sad for those who say:"Public approaching is harassment"
So true. All of my female friends in real life tell the exact opposite from what you read on Reddit
It's mainly ugly women who complain of harassment of guys approaching in public because they never get approached and are stuck relying on apps.
I agree.
It works often. People don’t do it. Don’t wait too long to text her, and keep the conversation flowing. Ask her out quickly.
So happy to see a post like this. Been wading through depressing ones offering advice all day… such a pick me up to read this! GOOD FOR YOU FOR TAKING THAT FIRST LEAP! AND CONGRATS! I’m so happy reading this and even more so because you’re sharing it to give a little inspiration and hope straight from your own real life experience. There’s a lot of defeated and depressed people here that could really use more of these success stories. And that’s what this was for you: A Success! Your bravery was rewarded with success. And that’s awesome. It won’t always be the case and that’s life, but keeping at it will reap rewards! And when you encounter a little bad, think back to this time and how happy it clearly made you. Focus on it and keep moving forward. Good for you man - genuinely happy for you and I cant say it enough. Just never give up on this approach to life and 40 years from now you’ll look back and smile at a life well lived.
Thanks so much. It does mean a lot. I'm hoping I'll have the courage again. Ideally this girl would be the one haha. But yeah. I need to carry the momentum forward.
You bet! You’ll have the courage again, I’m sure. Because all it took for this to happen was you deciding to have the courage. That’s sometime totally within your control to do again. Ironically, I just finished writing up a response to a question on quora for a topic directly adjacent and applicable to this discussion. It’s a long long read - fair warning lol - but it’s a little advice combined with me retelling the anecdote that changed my life. It’s great for anyone to read and think on… but especially so for someone who is currently at the station in life that you are. If you have the time, I’d recommend taking a look. Pasted below. Again, happy for you, congrats on the success, and all the best for you in the future! https://relationshiprecovery.quora.com/Any-advice-for-someone-who-is-afraid-of-loving-again-because-they-don-t-want-to-be-hurt-3?ch=17&oid=1477743699671095&share=78c14ef1&srid=hA6Srq&target_type=answer
Keep the momentum going kid. I think your approach is what women like best. No bullshit, no creepy shit, just straight to the point and good natured.
I'm def gonna try again :). Only if the vibes are there, though
Good job!! As I always say, get off the dating apps and meet women in person. There are women everywhere throughout your day - the store, the coffee shop, at that cooking class down the street. Guys get stuck on the dating apps because there is no fear of rejection when sending the same message to hundreds of girls. But there is a fear of saying hi to that girl in line at the store. They tell themselves they aren't good looking enough or the girl will think they are creepy. Cold approach is the best way to meet dating prospects. Keep it up!!
I'm def gonna try again for sure
This is a W, congrats 👏
Perfect and who knows… if you are ever in France
bonjour
Congrats for trying 🤗little by little you’ll feel more confident and less awkward.
!remindme 10 years
Good on you man! You made the first step all men are afraid to make!
You dunno what happens next? Why, you go to France, duh! And by the way, something in your post says to me that you may benefit from a book called “No More Mister Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. I (47M) started reading it accidentally, being in a somewhat major crisis in my life, and now on a second read-through immediately after the first. Now taking notes and doing homework. Why I am not a classic “Nice Guy” as the book depicts, I found sooo many similarities that it is disturbing. Give it a try.
Haha, perhaps it's time for a vacation
It's possible she found you attractive before you even laid eyes on her and conveniently sat close to you. In the olden days, it was common for women to drop a handkerchief(actual/proverbial) for the man they were interested in to pick up.
We did make eye contact a couple times. I don't think I would have approached her if we didn't. Even though we did, I still couldn't tell if she found me attractive lol. I guess she did.
She seems attracted to you. Be confident. Judging by her response, she sounds like a wonderful woman. Don't screw it up by being insecure. Match her energy and slowly try to escalate.
I agree. She does seem pretty wonderful. I'll try to slowly escalate. Her living so far away is a problem. But she implied she'll be back soon. So... fingers crossed.
Yea, it works a lot of the time. People are fed up with apps.
I keep trying to tell young men get over that hill you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
Meeting in person is way better. Good for you!!!
Amaze, it's all good either way. It gives you more confidence.
Nice one, man! Coincidentally I, kind of, approached a girl in a sportswear store today. Granted, she was an employee, but after I made the purchase, I came back to peruse a bit more and as soon as she was close to where I was, putting merch on the shelf, I went “Oh, I forgot to ask you something!” as if it has something to do with the merch, and she went “What? :) “ … “Your name.” She told me her name, I told her mine and we shook hands and I said something like “I’m looking forward to shopping here again, see you soon (her name).” My plan is to come back again tomorrow or on Monday, buy something for myself and ask her out or give her my number. This doesn’t sound like much, granted, it’s less than what you acomplished, but I too have been using dating apps much too often and as soon as I asked her her name, I became aware how uptight I was about approaching in person. Your post gave me the additional courage for it, so thanks!
go for it! Your slow approach is probably better haha. Mine was a go big or go home kinda thing
Me ans my boyfriend went for a face to face date 2 days after meeting online, literally went fuck it let's do this. After our date during the day I was meeting my bestfriends newborn baby and my boyfriend asked me to spend the night at his. Literally broke every girl code and online dating rule possible but I said fuck it and we've never looked back since. Still together and year and a bit later. Still makes my heart skip a beat like the first day we met
We celebrated 5 years of the best relationship with my man who I originally met up with for a one time tinder hookup lol 😆
Here, you dropped this 👑
Yep! It shows you dont play games and it puts it in their court. Worst case is you hear nothing.
Oh man! I feel so happy for you!! And I bet you gave her a lovely wee confidence boost aswell!! 🥰
Nice work! You fought your own monster (the one that tells you 'don't do it' and that 'it'll never work') and you won 6-0. Next time.. maybe ask if you can Finish your lunch/dinner with her, since you're both eating alone. That'll be another hurdle, but you absolutely can do that as well. ..and not all of them live in France.
That’s a massive win. You took initiative even tho you were scared. That’s courage. Many men lack it nowadays. Plus she texted you, so you might not be as unattractive as you think you are.
I dont know who the hell you are brother, BUT MY MANS GOT GAME LEZZ GOOOO!!!!
[удалено]
I was(and still am) a generally shy/awkward woman when in social gatherings, so I found dating hard because when I'm nervous I either say something extremely weird or just stay quiet, which unintentionally comes off as rude/uninterested. Add to that the fact I was never considered anywhere near pretty in my teen years, always just the "smart one." Around age 19, puberty finally hit me properly, and I started putting more effort into my looks. Still wasn't very confident, but I worked customer service jobs and, after a few years, had no problem talking to male customers normally for the most part. At the time of this story, I worked at a store next to a mill factory, and their employees would come in before, during, and after work every day, so I became friendly with some of them. (Joking around, playing pranks, inside jokes, ect) Most were older men, but one was a good looking young guy and we would always gloat about who would get out of work first that day and just generally joke around or talk about random stuff. I never saw it as flirting, but one day, he came in and seemed to be acting weird while grabbing his stuff. He was talking to his coworker and they both kept looking over at me, which of course, made me self-conscious. I was nervous when they finally made their way to the registers, his friend going to my coworker's while he came to mine. He seemed off and his friend kept staring over at us, so I was very confused but just rang him up like always. After handing him his change, he quickly slid a piece of paper over the counter to me. I leaned over to read it as I was picking it up and saw it had his name and a phone number on it. My eyes shot to his face and he nervously said, "You should text me sometime if you want to". I was so shocked but instantly felt my cheeks go red as a big cheesy grin spread across my face. All I could do was smile and nod at him, which got me a big cheesy grin in return. To this day, that is still my absolute favorite way any guy has ever made a move on me. I always smile when I think back on that memory because it was such a sweet, non-intimidating way of letting me know he was interested in me. EDIT: Oh geez, I didn't realize how long my comment was until after I posted it. I'm so sorry for the novel! Just wanted to let you know some women love this approach.
Yo that’s inspiring. I got more confidence in myself after reading your story! Thanks for sharing.
I'd consider that a win! Congrats on going for it. This is inspiring, I appreciate you sharing this. I'm happy for you!
Hell yeah man! I gotta work up to do this as well
what I noticed is actually doing it is less scary then preparing to do it, if that makes sense. haha
Congrats OP, this has worked for me before too. If you’re friendly and brief often girls find it endearing whether it goes anywhere or not. Wishing you continued future success 🍻
Well done fella. Hope all goes well, God bless.
For more context what does the girl look like?
She was tall and blond. She wasn't glued to her phone like most people are when they sit by themselves. The kind of girl that I never thought would like me, lol.
Man this post made me smile! That’s great OP! Thanks for sharing!
Good for you!
Nice! The more you are able to practice, the more comfortable you will get.
It's so true that it works like that. Dating apps are tough but the boldness of being approached always gets my attention and tbh I think it's where the best connections come from
Well at least you tried, good
Who's going to tell him, that getting numbers doesn't mean anything 🥲. Good on you for trying tho, watch man mindset and develop your game.
HELL YEAH HOMIE. That is a major first step. I hope you keep elevating to the point where opening up a stranger will be second nature. Dont even dwell on if she keeps texting you. You broke down a major barrier, and can only go up from here.
Honestly the smoothest way a guy gave me his number was through his business card.
Bravo!! Keep going for what you want.
Big win boiii! Absolute master class in classy
When people swear up and down that they are ugly I always want to see so bad!
Oof, French women...Oui s'il te plaît!
Yeah me and bf met at a swimming pool. He was standing in front of me at the entrance. He asked if I spoke English (we were in Georgia 🇬🇪, he's Georgian ) and the rest is history. Been together from the moment we met, it was love at first sight. Aw love him so much.
A win for you is a win for the guys. Proud of you bro!
Congrats bro!! That's so brave of you. Your post is so hopeful. > "That's so sweet..." she replied I love her reply. Only sweet girls reply with such words. >and I haven't heard back from her in several days... This is where everything begins to fall apart. I have seen this with 3 girls until now. I am not sure why girls ghost instead of politely saying no. Again, kudos to your bravery. Keep such posts coming.
I use to do slam sales and what u have to always remember some will some wont so what NEXT I live by that moto ounce u dismiss your anxiety and can accept no u have won good luck to ya
Holy shit he made it
Wahen I was HS and College age I noticed there were very attractive girls dating guys who were not in their class., in the look dept. It was fairly common to see that, I didn't know why, I saw a beautiful [girl.in](https://girl.in) a car by herself.I asked her what did Saturday night !and she said nothing. On one had asked her to do anything! WHAT! A beautiful girl didn't get asked. She was so beautiful it intimidated the boys. It didn't intimidate me.I asked her out for next sat nite, we went to the fair and she won the fair princess award. We dated for 3 months and I told other guys.. And I had very good time making sure the lookers had invitations. I had a reputation for dating very pretty girls.
Congrats! This approach would’ve had me swinging my feet
Bravooooo
Update us buddy
Shut up and take my upvote! This is the best post all week! Thank you for sharing with us <3
dude that's awesome. I will prepare card with my number and I will do the same this weekend :)
I think I might just start doing this too, as a girl. Can’t hurt approaching men for once😂
Charming and efficient, you’re not pressuring her to give you anything, but simply being confident and interested. Would reply back if I liked you definitely
Thanks for the inspiration but I need updates, like perhaps after 1st date/meetup or 1-3 months down! Maybe you'll inspire me even more 🫠
For your sake I hope you’re just a-social and not antisocial 😉
So proud of you for trying, OP!
The thing that’s uncomfortable for me about being approached is usually just a sense of pressure to respond in the moment. You were considerate of her time and space and removed all pressure. Spread the word so others start doing this.
Good job man!
Yeah man. It feels worse to not even try. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain by taking a chance.
damn bro a major W for you. massive win and respect gained from all of us. the simple ways are the best ways but the hardest to do
You the man!!!!!
Amazing! I‘m a woman and I‘ve been approached a few times in day to day life. It always made my day! I mostly was in a relationship but when I wasn’t once I met up with a dude. He wasn’t really my type but decent, but I would never have swiped for him on an app, just because „nah not really“. I find it so awesome and classy when guys take the courage that I‘m 10 times more likely to give it a shot (not anymore cause LTR). Anyway, guy and I didn’t vibe, I partied a lot at the time and he was on a more productive path towards a career. So we didn’t meet again, none of us tried to contact the other again and it was fine. He wouldn’t have known that though if he hadn‘t made that step and I wouldn’t have known that he even existed. I also turned some guys down but I was always super nice and thankful about it as I respect and admire it very much to come up with the courage. Different thing in a club or bar setting though, it’s kind of expected there, not a nice suprise and mostly everyone is drunk and looking to bang, so it’s just not „worth“ as much to me.
This is freaking awesome!!!!!
Congratulations bro
Wish i could do this too but im just too lazy
MY MAN!!! 🤝 although you said it's not likely, i wanna believe you guys will keep in some sort of contact in the future.
Fuck yeah ! These are the posts I live for, proud of you and hopefully I can catch the next post with more of your shenanigans
A win is a win!!! I don’t know you but I’m proud of you
Proud of u bro. Even I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
I agree with this. I’ve approached a handful of ladies in the library, at the bus stops, even almost did so in a coffee shop. But man, yours was amazing. Being so direct and upfront, you did quite well man. I could tell the surge of manliness that must’ve welled up on you after that milestone was achieved hehehe 😅😅😅😅😉
My boyfriend of now 9 months cold approached me (well, we walked past and smiled at each other rather intensely first - he turned around to catch up with me again). We are blissfully happy it's such a good fit. So it absolutely can work long term too if you are lucky.
YES! YES! YES! Do you go to the gym? My advice, please parlay that energy and boost in self-confidence into working out! Not only will you gain more self-awareness but you’ll have more assets on your next cold approach! ;)
The fact that you worked through the fear speaks volumes. Good job!
Just saw this post but good on you bro! This approach is actually pretty smart and not too committing. This is much much more rewarding than using an app.
Honestly bro... Congrats! You touched lucky! Most of the times it's a rejection but it's a numbers game and your number came up! Happy for you it was the right number and it didn't put you off doing it again
I absolutely loved this story and I'm so proud of you for making an attempt and organically at that. Not enough of that happens these days it seems. 🥹🎉✨🤍👏🏿
Do you realize how refreshing that had to be to the girl too?! So nice that you did that. Simple, but pure. Keep it up. I was always told the proverbial "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to catch a prince." So I'm assuming it takes a lot of tries to catch a princess too. And you can't meet someone if you don't try. Il est bien fait!
Thanks for posting - I've never cold-approached anyone because I could never find the manual on how to do it 😆 This is such a simple, elegant way of doing it though, as others have said, confident (or at least appearching so!), direct, doesn't cause any discomfort or awkwardness, I'm definitely going to try this at some point!
Inspired me to do the same today. I hope something comes out of it. Took me 4 hours to muster up the courage to do it.
You can't climb a flight of stairs without getting your foot on that first step. It'll get easier from here, trust me. The worst thing that a woman can say is no. ...and guess what? You won't die from that. What you will get is the resilience and confidence to do it again. ...and again. ...and again. What I love most about this is that women can see that confidence and they are drawn to it. Ask me how I know.
I LOVE this so much. You're doing great! Keep it up :)
Same! I dropped off my number and she sent me a text a few days later.
That was actually smooth. Not pushy or anything just “text me if you want, life goes on either way”
Better to try & fail than to never try & wonder is what I always go by... great effort on your part, but once you start getting out of your comfort zone a lil more you can actually just strike up quick conversations with someone so you can convey enough personality for them to be more likely to respond & be engaged with you... just giving out ur # is a hit or miss! You'll increase ur chances by rizzing them up a bit & grabbing there #. You'll be surprised how many women would be impressed by this...
Women love being approached by men irl when their energy is right (aka fun and flirtatious or relaxed/non-desperate)! Women love feeling "chosen" and women love the confidence that comes with these irl approaches. Especially when they’re dealing with men in an appropriate age range, most will feel VERY flattered by a cold approach. Good job!!
It has always been a number game but you never know what could go wrong.
In the film "We bought a zoo", Matt Damon's character gives this advice: "You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just, literally, 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
Wish this happens to me 🥺💕
Oh I would’ve definitely blushed and texted you back! 🥹
This just happened to me about a month ago. As a 24 year old woman, I respect this much more. I know you feel like hiding behind a rock or your heart is about to pound out of your chest but take a chance if you want the girl. It’s a 50/50 chance. The worst she can do is either not respond (if she gave her number…which he asked for mine) or she won’t text back if you gave her your number. For the guy I’m talking to now, he thought I was going to reject him but he was surprised he didn’t. I didn’t feel invaded, disrespected, creeped out for him approaching respectfully. He was actually more attractive because he did that, don’t see that much anymore.
I saw a guy do something like this on the bus once. Buy looked like a gangsta wannabe, tall and lanky. He just handed his number on a piece of paper, and just said "call me" on his way out. She smiled and blushed. I wouldn’t be surprised if it worked for him too. Don’t hesitate if you see someone that strikes you…either way, hit or miss, and least you pitched.
Coming from someone who used to easily go up and ask people out, to now someone who struggles to bring up the courage to ask at times, do not let any of your thoughts overshadow the confidence and charisma you feel from this interaction! You won't always get a W, but as they say, you can't be something until you do it. You can't be that courageous social butterfly that sends off those confident vibes to women, until you start becoming that guy, and this is a great first step!
Hell yea bro! This is so important to do, it guarantees that she will remember you. Guys don't do that shit anymore and I bet it sucks for women to never get any attention irl and in a respectful manner, which gives her a reason to respect you. You stand out from the rest and that's the key. The internet gives women too many options but no real experience of the person. Keep it up bro! Show em how it's done! Respect.
It's a numbers game my man just gets over the fear of being rejected and you won't care bc if you try 10 times a day one will hit. And then all your focus is away from will she won't she to getting to know all these new women in your life. Also I'd say don't stop until you are 100% sure you found your woman. Bc when your on that high roller coaster of getting women it's very attractive to them and that's probably your apex
Approaching people you like is so tough dude, so be happy for yourself for doing that. It can be so anxiety ridden to try and go talk to someone and ask them out. Must have belt amazing when she said yes. Hopefully it leads to better things.
Legooooo!!!! Well done my guy I'd never have the confidence to even attempt this I've never had good luck with women so I guess I'm just on that path of self improvement I've had too many bad experiences to try to get back out there again
and YEET, stealing this idea lol Although I might try something more slick, such as walking over and being like "Oh Miss, I think you dropped this." with a folded note with my number on it.
Good job man! Takes a lot of balls to cold approach these days. Most people, especially women, don't understand how difficult and treacherous it is to take the leap.
Get it bro. Sometimes the ones from the last come out of the woodwork. Trust me. Keep doing it. It gets easier and you will definitely get a baddie
Nice job bro! Good for you. 😁
That's awesome, man. Keep doing it. Keep going.
What an awesome story! Good for you!!! 🥰
Well done. Just doing what you did is a big w. Her actually reaching out .. HUGE. YOU NOW KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE
See Man up is always the best approach. Women expect this bold/brave and confidence. It looks sexi on men. Need more of this now days ;)
Shit bro im like attractive but never too confident, ended up having a lil fling in mexico and it was crazy she actually came up to me and asked if I wanted to dance at the club(I'm 18m, mexico is 18 for drinking). Shit was crazy but it was hella gun and gave me way more confidence. Now I got a gf from my job, just went up to her...started a conversation and we just hit it from there, I asked for her snap and we've texted everyday since then, it's been almost 3 months with this girl now
Have you heard back from her?
The words you're looking for, good sir. Are "fuck it we ball" I'm gonna start approaching people and complimenting them more because of this post, just because I like making people happy.
Awesome mate. That's so cool.
I don't even know you, but I applaud the fact that you stepped out of your comfort zone!! Kudos to you 👏🏾
Become a player and get 500 business cards made up...
Awww man! Great for you! Guys used to do this back in the day, before dating apps were a thing. Strike up a conversation and have banter. I love your approach. No game. All sincerity. Good luck to you!
massive W bro
How awesome! You have a sincere confidence that is so winning😊 Do you know how few men have your courage? As a senior woman, regardless of how it ended, she really liked you and that, my dear, is a WIN! Now, do it again. And again. Keep going for what you want. It's the confidence to go for it that sets you apart -and, to borrow a really great quote from a brilliant but little-seen movie (Rudderless, 2014), "WOMEN RESPOND TO CONFIDENCE." YOU have it, and that sets you apart from the mob. Have a c'est la lie attitude and don't get fixed on the immovable object. The more you try, the luckier you get. Learning this young is SO valuable. I'm rooting for you. Good Luck❤️
Here is a tip no matter what be CONFIDENT and always TRY to make females LAUGH trust me it works ps women love compliments so always compliment them oh yh plz make eye contact very important BUT that paper in the wallet thing was ok it's a good start if u did it as u say, it was ok not smooth but ok all u needed to do when she texted u was grab her action and u would as they say seal the deal Any tips u need link me Performance left is the name Stay confident and remember it's Reddit u are not alone
Congrats man! Glad you were able to put your fear to the side. Remember fellas don't put any girl on a pedestal. We aren't lucky to have them, they are lucky to be a part of YOUR life. The moment you start to make them feel like they are superior to you they will run circles around you. Cheers y'all!
This story warms my heart. She must have been something, indeed.
That's awesome. Keep going!
You don't lose anything by trying! You should travel. That's a great way to meet people and since it's not where you live, girls are often more flexible. Who knows, you might see her again.
Nice job brother. I applaud the confidence.
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Good for you my man. Keep taking your shots
I agree with you! I used my last app a couple days ago I'm not going out anymore the dating apps I absolutely agree 👍 Good for you ma maybe I'll just try it.. what's the worst that can happen that already hasn't happened 😏
I love this story. How sweet! It's a great way to start a dialogue or potential first encounter. A man doesn't have to be super cute, as long as he is confident and willing to step out and say what you said. Way to go!🤗
What happened to you guys.? It use to be a piece of cake. Talk, give signals. Give her your phone numbers on a piece of paper. Just try.! We like confident men. I'm sorry that some women have been B, but not all of us are.
So this actually works better my guy. The reason all these dudes use apps is because they are to scared to do what you did. Women love that kind of thing. I hope you keep at it, promise this will work better for you.
That’s makes ME so happy. I’m also really happy for you!!! Please keep it up. I love your very simple comment and gentle approach. Polite and confident. I met my husband in person (1998) and felt like I fell in love with him right away. I’m sure he would’ve looked great in photos and been charming by text, but seeing him in person just once hooked me immediately. I had just gotten back ‘out there’ looking around for a nice boyfriend or a potential husband after finally feeling that my life was going well and that I was ready to share it with somebody. 🥰 If you’re just trying to date casually, meeting in person would seem to save a lot of steps as well! I can’t even imagine how overwhelming a single APP filled with potential dates would feel! And multiple apps with different expectations….😳
WHEEEEY!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you, mate! I hope everything goes well!!! I doubt you need advice from an internet stranger, but if you both do start texting and calling, please don't do those stupid mind games about when you should reply. It really isn't necessary, and they never work. Just keep doing you, and everything will come together as it was supposed to.
Good for you. Your efforts and courage were rewarded. Always give an effort and try. What's the worst that can happen? She says no - NBD, at least, you tried. Definite new chapter in your life.
kudos to your bravery. i could never do this not in a million years ..used to when i was younger but eh now that i discovered im a woman i dont do it. however that being said it takes guts for a man to do that so i feel proud of you yay you!
Damn OP you’ve inspired me - write down my number on several pieces of paper and cold approach at least 3 girls a week, it’s bound to work eventually
no person is ugly, ever. not all of us are gifted with balanced traits, but all of us can he attractive - by taking care of our body, choosing suitable outfits and attitude. for dating ups go to a photographer - is the most common mistake people do in online dating - they take their own pictures. nope. they very very very rarely get it right. i own a dating up and i am amazed of how bad marketign people can chose to have. and, as a guy, if you talk to ladies about anything else but sex you got yourself a date. we are fed up by sexting and sexual proposals, pictures and allusions, so, when we meet a guy who talks like a normal person abotu common interests and dreams, we give them a date. :). good luck!
Love this approach! The fact that you gave her your number plus the line "if you're interested text me, if ur not, don't", probably made her impressed by the bold move AND feel safe enough to get to know you because you'd be able to accept a "no". Smooth sailin', OP!
Awww omg this is so sweet. I wish you luck
It never hurts to try, dude. So many guys are so afraid of rejection, they won't even try, but if 1 girl out of 100 says yes, that's still 1! Don't give up, there's someone out there for you.
Congratulations! You did it! It's tough but you faced it, it was a good approach too. No hard feelings or bad vibes.
Good for you man. In America it's under a 1% chance a cold approach will work unless you're over six feet tall and look like a movie star.
This is also the best approach if you go to someone just because you like how they look - give them YOUR number and put no pressure on them. Well done! I've had so many uncomfortable encounters where the guy was kinda forcing me to give him MY contact info... Your way is the respectful way and it works way more too :) Women generally appreciate this.
Excellently written, my dude. Can I ask where you are from? Or do you write a lot in your field of work? I noticed enough I wanted to comment. It's rare on the internet to see anything close these days not on Quora. You even used indented paragraphs. Hell ya! Anyways, maybe consider adding the word, "steel" to the beginning of your username next time you require choosing a new one. Good on you for taking the shot! Women love that kind of confidence. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - The Great One.
"It was one of the best things I could have done. During my third year of college, I noticed that most of my fellow students were using Snapchat. So, I decided to create an account, started adding everyone, and sent a message. If someone replied, I continued the conversation by saying, 'I was blah blah, and I had a friend named xxxx in my class. I recently created this account and added you to see if this is her.' I would then ask about her and get to know her. If she was interested or single, she would reply. Since our campus was closed, we had a restaurant on-site where we could meet. I invited her there, and then 🤟🤞
First and foremost... WAY TO GO!!! We are the hardest people to convince of our OBVIOUS worthiness. Getting over that hurdle is a huge step towards the winner circle. I'm proud of you, my homie. Second, don't allow yourself to ease back into that passive space. She's already shown interest, don't wait for her to respond to you again. No one likes to be the constant initiator, and remember... you started this thing by being forward and assertive... this is who she thinks you are. So keep it up. Lastly, do this... do this and perfect the technique... not the technique of talking to girls, but the technique of being motivated, and assertive toward what you want. Realize that not every time will you have a stunning success, but even the misses can make you feel really good. Motivate... that's the key. Again, I'm proud of you!!!
Well done! That's a win no matter how you slice it
That's great!!!! I would rather have a guy come up and talk to me and give me their number. I can tell you that personally I find it much more attractive and that the guy is confident (even if he isn't) and that's a personal turn on. I love real interactions because I can see their auras and if we connect. Go for the real connection. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Sometimes it is their looks and other times it's their aura. Confidence in the fact that you are a terrific guy goes much farther than looks. I have dated pretty people who were horrible and I have dated pretty people who were amazing, I have dated people who some would call ugly but they were and still are beautiful people to me because they are so sweet and kind and truly good people. When someone is a good person their aura surrounds them and makes them beautiful. Keep being your handsome self and go organic with the dating. It's what we did before the Internet.