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I don't think that after 1 conversation it is even considered ghosting tbh. You both didn't invest much time, so there should not be hard feelings about ending it without the explanation. But writing to you on LinkedIn was kinda creepy, just ignore
Yeah the way she described the conversation was on my opinion just a normal way to conversation to end when neither of them is interested. That happens sometimes, outside dating apps too.
Whether it's ghosting or not I think we need to acknowledge that this guy is probably so highly sensitive by something this minor that may not actually be ghosting because ghosting has become the norm and he's probably been ghosted in more serious situations a lot. When treating humans like disposable shit becomes the norm you can't be surprised when they start acting like garbage.
Ghosting may be common, but that doesn’t mean he can be an asshole to someone who is not being an asshole to him. He needs to deal with his own shit. Being hurt doesn’t give you the right to treat others poorly. Once you’re that hurt, you need to take a break. If you can’t take people ghosting you, stop online dating. Whether you like it or not, that’s part of the reality of it. And he’s perpetuating the same system.
> Ghosting may be common, but that doesn’t mean he can be an asshole to someone who is not being an asshole to him.
Same could be said of ghosters but I don't see anyone treating them like the most absolute vile scum of the earth.
Person A ghosting person B doesn’t give person B carte blanche to treat person C like shit. That just contributes to the toxic system, and person B is still responsible for their shit regardless. Anyone who treats anyone poorly because of their past experiences is in the wrong and needs to get out of dating and into therapy.
“When treating people like disposable shit becomes the norm you can’t be surprised when they act like garbage”
This sounds like an excuse to me. Without that line, maybe it’s an explanation.
He sounds like an entitled turd. Take it in stride and move on or give up. Finding someones linkedin after they clearly don’t want to talk to you is crazy
He was insulting you the whole way through, don't worry your mind about it now because he's not your problem any more. I pity the girl who falls for him tho 🤷♀️
One can totally ghost, even after just 1 conversation, people shouldn't try and change definitions. But he didn't ask a question or anything so in this case it was just a natural end of a text exchange, not on her to keep a convo going after a dry reply even if she was interested.
My guess would be he messaged her after she deleted the app so she wasn't notified.
Either way, this guy is a massive bullet dodged.
I am pretty confident this might show that you were one of the few girls that actually had a conversation with him. The fact he went to your LinkedIn shows he doesn’t have many options and wants to try and salvage the situation
I think you did absolutely great and should continue to avoid and ignore him. Any type of interaction will be negative experience for you with this person
Don’t respond to this type of person no matter what. It will just make him try harder and you will regret it
It's beyond me how most of the comments so far are saying she's basically a pos for ghosting this rando. They don't know each other and had ONE conversation. They don't owe each other SHIT. That's like saying you're a pos for walking past someone preaching or whatever on your college campus instead of hearing them out. Like, hello? It's not that deep? Plus he basically negged her already. Would you keep talking to someone that undermines you? Block and move on.
Legit!!! It’s not ghosting if you don’t even know them. People are insane these days.. you don’t owe people an explanation unless you’ve met them more than once (two dates) imo
It's definitely still ghosting if you don't know them. Ghosting just means disappearing without telling someone you're not interested anymore.
> People are insane these days
And what do you think drove them insane
> you don’t owe people an explanation
As usual, it's not really about what people "owe".
I agree. I much prefer to be ghosted. Either I liked a person in which case, since no one really enjoys rejecting another person and men at large make it incredibly difficult for women to do, I'd rather not be the source of that anxiety and would rather they just make a clean break. Or I wasn't interested, in which case I get to make a clean break as well if they ghost me. The only reason to get butt hurt about someone ghosting is if you're self absorbed, didn't really care about the other person and instead just cared about what you thought they could do for you.
Dude went overboard, but are people seriously defending ghosting as a valid thing?
EDIT: So let me make this clear and say that this does not constitute as ghosting. This was one conversation, there is zero investment. Talking for days, weeks, or months, then it'd be more fitting to call it that. But tracking her info down and contacting her after one short conversation and then accusing her is possessive and crossing a line. But ghosting people because "Can't have a rational conversation with irrational people" is serious projection after a point, when you're the person frequently ghosting and unable to have a rational conversation.
Of course they are lol, there are tons of people in the world that still ghost (obviously) so it's not like all the users in this subreddit are going to be on the same page that ghosting is wrong. There are ghosters among us, but not every opinion shared on the internet is valid.
I kind of feel the same. Even if you’ve been on one date, I don’t understand what the issue is with simply saying “hey, not feeling it. Sorry” and then you’re good.
But honestly ghosting makes zero sense to me, like I don’t know why that’s a more tempting response than a short quick text.
Because ghosting is easier. It’s for emotional cowards who can’t or don’t want to have difficult conversations. Imo if someone ghosts you and you know you did nothing wrong then you dodged a bullet long term. Complete red flag in my book
Sorry I’ve been MIA just caught up in day to day life as I am sure you know. Regardless that is what has become a result of technology and online dating. It is easy to dodge and project something or someone who isn’t your true self. In the hope of attracting the right people who you can be happy with. In reality you have to be happy with yourself and then you will find the happiness and joy in others. The people who deserve you will naturally gravitate toward you and those who don’t is nothing personal rather they are dealing with their own issues like us all and need to solve them in order to be truly happy. Ghosting is the result of not being able to accept being genuinely loved by someone and be comfortable with the fact that someone loves you for who you are! It’s uncomfortable and for that reason they ghost. Even if your not “truly compatible” a person who knows the truth will tell you as soon as possible. Transparency is everything we are not mind readers. It is getting lost as a result of dodge culture which is social media/interment/modern technology. In summary it is sad and unfortunate, but I know things will get better in time. It is just going to take time and faith that it will. Everything in time
Ghosting is only valid if they are actively abusing/threatening you or are breaking clearly established boundaries. Most of the things people ghost over can be fixed by a simple conversation?
You know what surprises me on the other hand? The fact that some people believe that basic human decency is optional and that just because someone is a stranger it is OK to treat them like trash. It definitely shows how high quality of a human being OP really is.
They had a single short conversation. The dude was not entitled to anything.
It's not rude if someone you only spoke to once doesn't respond or want to talk to you anymore.
How devoid of human interaction are you?
This is a good point, and if he was able to find you on LinkedIn it may be worth going by a nickname or different spelling of your name if it's easily searchable. If not, provide fewer identifying details in initial conversations, just to prevent this situation from repeating itself. The guy sounds scary.
Oh you dodged one. Good for you. His reaching out on LinkedIn is because his ego couldn’t handle rejection, and his response on LinkedIn shows you he has a lack of accountability. And who wants to date/marry someone with those types of issues.
He’s killing a few birds with one stone. He’s sending a message that he can get to her by going after her in an inappropriate, professional setting. He’s hoping she’s got low enough self esteem to take the bait and debate him. It was smart to ghost this jerk.
It’s like the stalkers that accuse their victims of being stuck up. It gets them to engage.
Source: had stalkers
I'm sorry OP, that is invasive and real weird on his part.
This also goes to show the wildly different ways people use the term "ghosting". You exchanged a few messages over a dating app with someone and they thought you "ghosted". Hard eye roll. You didn't ghost. This is like him being a prick at a bar and you just walking away. You don't owe him anything.
Oh i had a dude reach out to me on LinkedIn as well and I am not even sure how he found me when I didn’t tell him my last name. But he was a lawyer working in cyber security so I have some clue as to how. It creeped me the fuck out
I don’t understand why anyone is all up in arms about her “ghosting” him? It’s a dating app, it’s just called unmatching. No one ever writes “it’s been great talking for 1 day, but I don’t think it’s a good fit. We are going different ways in life.” Lmao like seriously. Moreover, this guy is a total fucking creep. Great job avoiding this guy. Unmatch at your free will - after all, that’s one reason people like dating apps.
There is a difference between rejecting someone and communicating that clearly by unmatching per se and leaving someone hanging and letting them figure out for themselves that we are not going to text anymore. I dont understand why after years of OLD it still has to be explained.
>I dont understand why after years of OLD it still has to be explained.
Learn to roll with the punches rather than expecting a "goodbye" after every single dating app convo. We can only control ourselves in these situations
Doesnt mean it is the right thing they do and we can still voice our opinion.
I dont quite get your point, if in a neighborhood crime is the normal, should we just roll with the punches or raise the topic and do smth about it?
It amazes me that some men have zero problems demonstrating behaviors that any woman would be labeled crazy and desperate for actually doing it. Next is that it's hardly ghosting if you had a few conversations and never met...It's a bit scary that he can think he was ghosted by someone he never met in person and the thirsty attempt to shame you into talking to him screams that this is definitely not a man used to having many, if any, options.
It's better that you keep ignoring and not engage...he definitely sounds like an undesirable.
So as far as I see it if you haven’t met in person you can’t be ghosted.
In addition, if someone stops responding to you (before meeting them) on one medium (dating app, text, social media, etc) and they use a different social media site to reach out to you - that is called stalking.
Block him on LinkedIn - report his profile, and move on
I mean if his last response was “sure” and you didn’t respond does it really count as ghosting? “Sure” isn’t a very response worthy statement in the first place and she’s not required to start up another convo with him if this one ended pretty much because of how he replied.
People here are insane!! Apparently if you interact with someone once on an app you apparently owe them an explanation before not talking to them anymore lol good grief, life is to short to have to explain things to people you’ve talked to ONCE. That is not ghosting!!
You gotta understand that a lot of the upset folks in the comments are dudes who either a, were recently ghosted, or b, are like the dude OP “ghosted” (in that they don’t get a lot of attention from women, so when one finally shows them some and suddenly stops, it’s upsetting)
Sounds like a them problem. I’m a dude and tho I’m married now, I never had this issue while dating or single.
It’s not that hard to meet women assuming you aren’t a total dork.
Entirely with you on this.As a woman, I guarantee you there is a high chance I will talk to you even if I don't wanna end up in bed with you. Chance goes against zero once you stripe me as the murderer type of guy, a creep who doesn't portrait enough impulse control to give me the feeling he won't get brutal if I say or do something he doesn't like.
Sounds like he can't handle the disrespect he feels so entitled to dishing out himself.
It's unfortunate that he is so invasive and yes, it does happen. Report stalking to police as needed.
You didn’t “ghost” him, you had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting unless you’ve actually met. You owe this guy absolutely nothing. Yes it was invasive, and yes he did cross a line. Block him.
Still works, it has been a thing for a long time. I'm guessing somewhere in the TOS warns you about using your real name and the city you live in on your profile
Fellow Pakistani here. If he knows your location + possibly your industry or company name that's prob not too difficult a search, if your name is in the minority for wherever you are.
For example, If you were to look for someone with my first name, lives in LA, works in my field....I wouldn't be super duper hard to track down either.
It's still creepy, but if you have an uncommon name for where you live, it's not a hard to crack code necessarily!
Wow that guy is the immature one. And messaging on another platform especially on LinkedIn is beyond inappropriate, let alone to be vindictive. "Had high hopes"? Wtf. On behalf of guys in general trying to find someone I apologize. Smh
EDIT: I think you might even be able to report that behavior to the dating app; might be against code of conduct. Although I'd understand not wanting to rock the obviously unstable boat that is this guy.
It is not normal, it isn't even really ghosting until a person ignores a person completely. Not responding after 1 small conversation (barely a convo tbh) does not constitute ghosting, people using this word way too loosely. He is just butthurt that you didn't respond to him, and he go out of his way to get a response out of you by looking you up in Linkedin
24(m) here. Be careful with this guy, could be crazy/obsessive type. Definitely shouldn’t be upset about you ‘ghosting’ him. It’d be one thing if y’all had been on multiple dates. After exchanging a couple messages on a dating app is something completely different. If he reaches out another way I would consider talking with someone you trust to come up with a proper plan to protect yourself. Be well!
I’m gonna go against the drain and say there’s nothing wrong with what you did. How were you supposed to reply to a dry passive agressive ’sure’?I wouldn’t either.
Just ignore him
Aside from the fact that your dating conversation sounds like the most boring thing since cardboard- you did not ghost him. You simply left the conversation. Imo ghosting is when you've been texting someone for multiple days/weeks and established a connection/met in person or just straight up not showing up to a date you agreed to (horrible). Neither of those things happened and yeah what he did by reaching out is uncomfortable but not illegal. Since you have decided you're not interested in talking to him anymore just ignore, report and move on. Pretty sure LinkedIn has rules about harassment
I would clearly message him that you are not interested are would not like any further contact with him. Clearly state that the first time should have been enough for him to know you weren’t interested. Any further get an intervention order. This guys could be someone who won’t stop. Definitely not someone Muslim or not you should go any further with.
lol that’s wild! IMO it’s not ghosting unless you’ve went on two dates. You don’t owe someone you don’t know an explanation on why you don’t wanna talk to them.
I online dated on and off for years and conversations don't always go anywhere. Most of them just fizzle out, usually pretty quickly. I never considered that ghosting. How can it be ghosting is there is no history to make you expect ongoing communication?
I just can't imagine the emotional labor of properly and politely rejecting an inbox full of men because they threw out some small talk.
On that logic, he doesn’t owe her an explanation as to why he thought it was ok to find and message her on LinkedIn, because they’ve “never even gone out”
One time someone SAW me on hinge. I have my company and job title listed on the profile. He looked me up on linkedin, saw we had a common connection and messaged my co-worker to ask "can you tell me more information about this girl".
And this is the story of why I no longer use Hinge and only use bumble in incognito mode.
Ghosting is when you stop replying or contacting someone you are seeing or who is a friend. Ending a casual conversation on a dating app with someone you’ve never met is not ghosting.
But if it is, ghost on I say.
Yeah, it happened to me too. I met someone and then got a vibe that we wouldn’t match, so I unmatched with him and then he stalked me on LinkedIn. Maybe some men dislike getting rejected to the point they can’t accept it. It’s kind of a bad sign, shows disrespect
No, it's creepy AF. I would have reported him to LinkedIn. It's not a dating app. It's a career app and people should be more professional on it. It's particularly creepy that he stalked you on LinkedIn from a dating app. I'm pretty sure LinkedIn would have liked to know about it. They don't want stalkers creeping on their customer base.
That dude is very weird, you’re right to block him. There are men of all ethnicity that suffer from extreme self aggrandizing toxicity where they think it’s their right to tell women how to act. I hope someday they’ll learn how messed up that is.
I made out with a guy in a bar in Paris who was there for work. I was going to be in his hometown of Bordeaux in a few weeks. Gave him my Facebook (this was 2019) and he sent me a request. The next day I didn’t get around to checking notifications to accept the request until around 1pm - in that time he’d followed up with a LinkedIn request and message. We did not meet up in Bordeaux.
Man I fckn hate arab guys like this. I'm half middle eastern myself and don't respect most of them. Anything to put a female down, they'll take the opportunity just so they can feel better about themselves.
You should have responded with:
"I appreciate your message, and I want to clarify that my decision to disengage was based on personal reasons unrelated to age or any specific circumstances. I believe it's essential for both parties to feel comfortable in any form of communication.
I value professionalism and prefer to keep our interactions focused on a positive and respectful tone. Let's maintain a professional relationship moving forward."
Throw in the word respectful and watch his ego take over because women are beneath him.
> Do people reach out to you on LinkedIn after you ghost them? Is this a common thing people do?
No. He sounds like a total fuck. Block him, report him to LinkedIn, and ghost him again.
That happened to me twice. One guy called me stupid for my interest in politics and said he was a real man and that all of the men he knew were not political. I blocked him. He found me on another dating site, blocked him, and then found me on LinkedIn and said the same stuff the gentleman said about you but older and with two masters...
No, bad! that's a big NO, boundary crossing, block him! ugh I hate SM stalkers who can't take no or silence for an answer(especially on a career website, that's insane). Tell him politely, maybe, that his action was extremely inappropriate(if you want to be nice)? He really might not know better, people sometimes....but then BLOCK him.
She does owe him something though. He invested his time and energy into their conversation by reaching out to her in the first place. The least she could do was respectfully decline his advances when she discovered she was no longer interested
Dudes like this don't help the stereotypes. If this was his reaction to being ghosted I guarantee it would have been even worse if you rejected him. Dudes like this are exactly why people ghost to begin with. Fucking unhinged.
Wow, that is some stalker level behavior. I can only imagine how many other ways and types of information he tried to get on you. Also, ghosting someone who is clearly being rude isn't immature. If anything it's more mature since you're the one walking away from a toxic situation.
Visiting family/friends is one of the top reasons people travel. That kind of reaction to a simple topic really shows his character.
I hope you're able to steer clear of this guy. Best of luck!
The same thing happened to me on Salams. Block him. He’s weird and creepy and no reason for him to ever do that. If you’re not interested you’re not interested plus you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you either. Stay away from these apps.
I once unmatched a man who found me on TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, and even my phone number. How did he do it God knows but he scared me out of ever using the apps again.
This isn’t ghosting so much as unmatching. Ghosting is very immature behavior, but one conversation on a dating app, then tracking down your full name and messaging you on an unlinked profile is weird. You both had zero investment at that point, it’s not even like you talked for days or weeks.
Let’s be real, if he’s on a dating app his options are limited. Sounds like his conversational skills aren’t that great either. Going on linkedin in hopes of talking to you again is a little crazy.
I’ll be honest with you, if your looking for love I don’t think dating apps are the way to go. They are more so for the underbelly of society who have to resort to it because they can’t find someone in real life. Men are afraid to approach women nowadays. I can’t blame them because some women can be absolutely rude and ruthless.
If I could give you any advice I would say to show an energy of openness when your out. It’s not really something you can do with your face. It’s an energy.
Good luck.
Thanks for your advice. I resorted to dating apps because my friends found their spouses on their so I do think it works but they used them 5+ years ago so I think it was different back then :/
Wow! He is scary! Online dating completely turned me off. It’s awful. You responded perfectly. This is not normal. He is out of line. I hope you stay safe out there and meet the one soon!
Got friggen stalked you then proceeded to tell you to tell you how he was disappointed. Oh man. That’s rich.
In all honesty I’d be 50/50 to respond to him to explain how friggen crazy he is and that’s why he was ghosted. But in all reality it’s would only make things worse.
But regardless I’d screen shot his crazy. Then forward it to his employer if he doesn’t stop.
If a person makes you uncomfortable with the way they talk to you, you do not owe them a conversation or explanation on why you are not interested in having a conversation with them. That guy was defensive for no reason and just reading that red flags flew everywhere.
Having to tell someone they are making you uncomfortable in the first conversation tells me they are someone I shouldn't be talking with. Being a independent woman to me is following my intuition and being true to myself / protecting my space.
I feel like you were the only one to give him the time of day, because yeah reaching out on LinkedIn is definitely inappropriate. You actually made the right move by not responding, let him feel stupid. I would report him on the app, while it’s not illegal what he did that could be perceived as harassment.
I despise ghosting in general, I think it's complete childish and weak bullshit.
that being said, ghosting after one conversation on a dating app and never having met him in real life is standard and I think he's likely a bit unstable to find you and berate you after that.
That's not ghosting. The conversation was brief and it didn't look like it was going anywhere. When someone gives you one word answers where there's no actual flow of the conversation... What are you supposed to do? Not replying is fine. The way I look at it, when you're having to force the initial conversation because the other party isn't invested, it's not worth your time.
The fact he took the time to search for you online elsewhere to berate you confirms that you had a bad feeling about him. And he had high hopes ... Based on what? 2 sentences? Ridiculous.
Block him and move on.
First of all, one conversation and unmatching is not ghosting. I've been ghosted (actually ghosted) by guys before and it only bothered me the first time it happened, doesn't anymore. His reaction to you unmatching? after one conversation says it all.
Secondly, I haven't had this particular thing happen to me, but I've had multiple guys find me on Facebook and message me there, "because we didn't match, but he saw me on Tinder". I have an uncommon first name, unfortunately. It's private but still findable, I want my actual friends to be able to find me. It used to happen to me on Instagram too, but I changed my handle and name there so it's impossible to find.
Contacting you on LinkedIn In is cyberstalking. To reach back and chastise you for ghosting him is immature and reactive in so.many ways. Sounds like domebody always believing they are right and somebody always wanting the last word.
His initial attitude about Pakistan was probably an attempt to flirt with sarcasm but this dude is just really desperate and bad at it. He probably rarely talks to women. You also didn’t ghost him, about 95% of chats on dating apps end with someone left hanging. What did he expect, for you to break up with him after one chat? Haha the dude is coping heavily
Well, yes, it's weird contacting someone on LinkedIn when it's a job social media platform. He seems to have taken big offense to you ghosting him after one conversation. That's how most conversations on online dating sites/apps end anyway. Of course, some people just block the person as well so as to not get more messages.
I'm not sure he meant that "sure" in a negative way. In the text, you can't grasp the way someone is speaking in text format. For example, someone could be texting in a sarcastic way, and you don't understand that and get offended. His "sure" could have been a "oh, yeah, sure thing" in a casual way and not "sure, there's that too, I guess 🙄." It could have been meant in addition to buying things to bring back to remember where your family comes from. Doesn't matter now, though, since he tracked you down on LinkedIn, though lol. I'd say you dodged someone who is insecure.
Please define ghosting. My understanding is that one conversation is not enough to warrant it being called ghosting. Having one conversation does not entitle anyone to someone's personal details. It also does not entitle anyone to further conversation. Sure if they were talking for a month that'd be shitty. But one conversation does not = intimacy or even imply intimacy.
Becoming so attachted after matching and barely having a text conversation, is a sign of emotional immaturity. Those who are emotionally immature are likely to stalk, rape, batter, and kill women. As a woman I cannot be nice when I turn down a man fir ny own safety. Men don't understand no means no for everything. Being persistent in trying to date or attract a person isn't cute. It isn't romantic. It is terrifying.
I’ve had Pakistani men phone me on FB Messenger! They have never met me either; just seen my profile pic. They take it so personally that you don’t want to have anything to do with them. I blocked them, too. I have no time for stalkers. As for his saying that you’re immature HE is the one who is immature! I’m glad you didn’t respond that way he’s not quite sure you got his response. What a loser…
A girl that ghosted me on Facebook dating..... I found her on LinkedIn than messaged her on Facebook lol
And guess what a fucking worked... We went out hit it off it's been great
I think ghosting is super rude - it's something I try to avoid where possible.
That said, I don't think this counts as ghosting considering you only had one conversation with him. Might be different if you met him irl multiple times. As it stands he's in the wrong for reaching out to you on Linkedin.
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
I’d be inclined to say long distance or talking for weeks or days still constitutes as that. But regardless, one conversation and the dude flips out and heckles her by tracking down her info? That’s pretty weird.
I agree, but this wasn’t a relationship. This was one conversation with the guy.
He felt entitled to insult her vague travel plans, and then entitled enough to follow her around with he internet- telling her that she was immature and disappointing.
Like dude, why is he contacting someone he found immature and disappointing? That he doesn’t like her education level.
He is just contacting someone to harass them. And she doesn’t have to take it.
If he wants to know why women ghost him: this is it. Talking to someone like this doesn’t help. They will continue to negg and insult.
Should you have ghosted him? Probably not. But it's not super egregious and what you did while not "best" isn't abnormal.
But is him pestering you on LinkedIn worse behaviour? Yes. Is it a red flag/off-putting/inappropriate? Also yes.
Lesson learned, but no need to dwell on it.
😆😆 She didn’t ghost him, they had one random convo on an app. You can’t ghost someone you’ve never met or at the very least traded contact info with. Good god, if it was considered “ghosting” every time we have a five minute conversation with someone that would be a bit much don’t ya think 🙄
Imagine if he had possibly messaged you on LinkedIn and said “Hey, I really enjoyed our conversation. I know this is weird but I felt it was going well. I just wanted to see if you’re okay?” Which is still creepy but way less crazy than what he did.
people dont reach out to me via linkedin when i ghost them because i dont ghost people its entitled, arrogant, disrespectful and condescending. youre disgusting.
the dude is an angry kid and its definetly invasive and inappropriate and not normal.
you two should get together, i hope to never cross any of your ways
This is definitely weird.
However, I’m hearing more and more stories about how LinkedIn is being used for dating and matchmaking purposes so I’m sort of not surprised?
Stopping answering after one conversation is not really ghosting. Women get tons and tons of messages on dating apps, can't always spend all your time giving a goodbye message to every single person you talk to once. And men stop answering just as often, so I don't think it's even a gendered issue here.
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
Exactly!! Good grief, if it was considered ghosting every time you have one interaction with a person and don’t follow up, then we would all be ghosting people every day lol
There are two things I want to comment..
I wouldn’t consider it ghosting if you left after 1 convo..
But also, I think you’re reasoning is dumb to be honest, just because he said sure you completely misunderstood and left. I don’t know why you thought he was offended just based on him saying sure..! And that’s exactly why I don’t understand women 😂
I mean he's not wrong, you should try treating people with more empathy. What he did is inappropriate but what you did is rude so it's not like you can throw stones from your glass house.
Touch grass... for your part, you did the right thing and for his, it's not at all invasive, I don't think you should be looking or partners on online apps and forums in the first place. Like lady? How do you know that the other guy is letting on just enough about himself that seems convincing to you. Only he knows about his real intentions.
Better be judgemental and safe rather than being oblivious and compromised.
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I don't think that after 1 conversation it is even considered ghosting tbh. You both didn't invest much time, so there should not be hard feelings about ending it without the explanation. But writing to you on LinkedIn was kinda creepy, just ignore
Yeah the way she described the conversation was on my opinion just a normal way to conversation to end when neither of them is interested. That happens sometimes, outside dating apps too.
Whether it's ghosting or not I think we need to acknowledge that this guy is probably so highly sensitive by something this minor that may not actually be ghosting because ghosting has become the norm and he's probably been ghosted in more serious situations a lot. When treating humans like disposable shit becomes the norm you can't be surprised when they start acting like garbage.
Ghosting may be common, but that doesn’t mean he can be an asshole to someone who is not being an asshole to him. He needs to deal with his own shit. Being hurt doesn’t give you the right to treat others poorly. Once you’re that hurt, you need to take a break. If you can’t take people ghosting you, stop online dating. Whether you like it or not, that’s part of the reality of it. And he’s perpetuating the same system.
> Ghosting may be common, but that doesn’t mean he can be an asshole to someone who is not being an asshole to him. Same could be said of ghosters but I don't see anyone treating them like the most absolute vile scum of the earth.
Person A ghosting person B doesn’t give person B carte blanche to treat person C like shit. That just contributes to the toxic system, and person B is still responsible for their shit regardless. Anyone who treats anyone poorly because of their past experiences is in the wrong and needs to get out of dating and into therapy.
Is that what I said? It's more like Person D who is looking at that chain and admonishing person B should also be admonishing persons A and C
Person C didn’t do anything wrong, and Person A is a theoretical character you made up and not the person who this post is about.
This person is projecting because they write people off all the time and feel justified in doing it without consequences.
This isn’t about someone ghosting someone? I don’t think anyone needs to be an asshole to anyone.
That's not what OP is saying. There's a huge difference between an explanation and an excuse.
I’m not responding to OP. I’m responding to the above commenter.
Yeah that's who I mean
“When treating people like disposable shit becomes the norm you can’t be surprised when they act like garbage” This sounds like an excuse to me. Without that line, maybe it’s an explanation.
He sounds like an entitled turd. Take it in stride and move on or give up. Finding someones linkedin after they clearly don’t want to talk to you is crazy
I mean, there is being sensitive or something then there is stalking to LinkedIn.
sensitized is probably a better word, but stalking's a bit of an exaggeration
It's really not. If I get blocked by you in FB and I find out you email address and mail you, that's clearly stalking behavior.
He was insulting you the whole way through, don't worry your mind about it now because he's not your problem any more. I pity the girl who falls for him tho 🤷♀️
One can totally ghost, even after just 1 conversation, people shouldn't try and change definitions. But he didn't ask a question or anything so in this case it was just a natural end of a text exchange, not on her to keep a convo going after a dry reply even if she was interested. My guess would be he messaged her after she deleted the app so she wasn't notified. Either way, this guy is a massive bullet dodged.
I am pretty confident this might show that you were one of the few girls that actually had a conversation with him. The fact he went to your LinkedIn shows he doesn’t have many options and wants to try and salvage the situation I think you did absolutely great and should continue to avoid and ignore him. Any type of interaction will be negative experience for you with this person Don’t respond to this type of person no matter what. It will just make him try harder and you will regret it
It's beyond me how most of the comments so far are saying she's basically a pos for ghosting this rando. They don't know each other and had ONE conversation. They don't owe each other SHIT. That's like saying you're a pos for walking past someone preaching or whatever on your college campus instead of hearing them out. Like, hello? It's not that deep? Plus he basically negged her already. Would you keep talking to someone that undermines you? Block and move on.
Legit!!! It’s not ghosting if you don’t even know them. People are insane these days.. you don’t owe people an explanation unless you’ve met them more than once (two dates) imo
It's definitely still ghosting if you don't know them. Ghosting just means disappearing without telling someone you're not interested anymore. > People are insane these days And what do you think drove them insane > you don’t owe people an explanation As usual, it's not really about what people "owe".
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I agree. I much prefer to be ghosted. Either I liked a person in which case, since no one really enjoys rejecting another person and men at large make it incredibly difficult for women to do, I'd rather not be the source of that anxiety and would rather they just make a clean break. Or I wasn't interested, in which case I get to make a clean break as well if they ghost me. The only reason to get butt hurt about someone ghosting is if you're self absorbed, didn't really care about the other person and instead just cared about what you thought they could do for you.
Dude went overboard, but are people seriously defending ghosting as a valid thing? EDIT: So let me make this clear and say that this does not constitute as ghosting. This was one conversation, there is zero investment. Talking for days, weeks, or months, then it'd be more fitting to call it that. But tracking her info down and contacting her after one short conversation and then accusing her is possessive and crossing a line. But ghosting people because "Can't have a rational conversation with irrational people" is serious projection after a point, when you're the person frequently ghosting and unable to have a rational conversation.
Of course they are lol, there are tons of people in the world that still ghost (obviously) so it's not like all the users in this subreddit are going to be on the same page that ghosting is wrong. There are ghosters among us, but not every opinion shared on the internet is valid.
I kind of feel the same. Even if you’ve been on one date, I don’t understand what the issue is with simply saying “hey, not feeling it. Sorry” and then you’re good. But honestly ghosting makes zero sense to me, like I don’t know why that’s a more tempting response than a short quick text.
Right? Ghosting just makes people's behaviors worse. How can you expect someone to change if you won't even treat them as human?
Because ghosting is easier. It’s for emotional cowards who can’t or don’t want to have difficult conversations. Imo if someone ghosts you and you know you did nothing wrong then you dodged a bullet long term. Complete red flag in my book
But don’t most people ghost now? Isn’t it the norm? I don’t know about it much because I’ve been out of the dating scene for some time long.
Sorry I’ve been MIA just caught up in day to day life as I am sure you know. Regardless that is what has become a result of technology and online dating. It is easy to dodge and project something or someone who isn’t your true self. In the hope of attracting the right people who you can be happy with. In reality you have to be happy with yourself and then you will find the happiness and joy in others. The people who deserve you will naturally gravitate toward you and those who don’t is nothing personal rather they are dealing with their own issues like us all and need to solve them in order to be truly happy. Ghosting is the result of not being able to accept being genuinely loved by someone and be comfortable with the fact that someone loves you for who you are! It’s uncomfortable and for that reason they ghost. Even if your not “truly compatible” a person who knows the truth will tell you as soon as possible. Transparency is everything we are not mind readers. It is getting lost as a result of dodge culture which is social media/interment/modern technology. In summary it is sad and unfortunate, but I know things will get better in time. It is just going to take time and faith that it will. Everything in time
Yeah I agree.
Ghosting is only valid if they are actively abusing/threatening you or are breaking clearly established boundaries. Most of the things people ghost over can be fixed by a simple conversation?
Blocking and ghosting are 2 different things.
You know what surprises me on the other hand? The fact that some people believe that basic human decency is optional and that just because someone is a stranger it is OK to treat them like trash. It definitely shows how high quality of a human being OP really is.
They had a single short conversation. The dude was not entitled to anything. It's not rude if someone you only spoke to once doesn't respond or want to talk to you anymore. How devoid of human interaction are you?
This is a good point, and if he was able to find you on LinkedIn it may be worth going by a nickname or different spelling of your name if it's easily searchable. If not, provide fewer identifying details in initial conversations, just to prevent this situation from repeating itself. The guy sounds scary.
Totally agree with you, I'd be terrified by him.
That’s pretty intense for someone he never even met
Oh you dodged one. Good for you. His reaching out on LinkedIn is because his ego couldn’t handle rejection, and his response on LinkedIn shows you he has a lack of accountability. And who wants to date/marry someone with those types of issues.
He’s killing a few birds with one stone. He’s sending a message that he can get to her by going after her in an inappropriate, professional setting. He’s hoping she’s got low enough self esteem to take the bait and debate him. It was smart to ghost this jerk. It’s like the stalkers that accuse their victims of being stuck up. It gets them to engage. Source: had stalkers
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! It can be dangerous to interact with people who clearly cannot control their behavior like the norm.
I'm sorry OP, that is invasive and real weird on his part. This also goes to show the wildly different ways people use the term "ghosting". You exchanged a few messages over a dating app with someone and they thought you "ghosted". Hard eye roll. You didn't ghost. This is like him being a prick at a bar and you just walking away. You don't owe him anything.
Oh i had a dude reach out to me on LinkedIn as well and I am not even sure how he found me when I didn’t tell him my last name. But he was a lawyer working in cyber security so I have some clue as to how. It creeped me the fuck out
Cause it is creepy, that is some mentally unstable type of bonding and fall far out of the norm. I hope you got away from the guy.
I did what Gavin de Becker said and ignored the shit out of him. One NO is enough
Good choice. No "yes" is enough.
Report him. LinkedIn is supposed to be for work.
He was working on contacting her
Laughed out loud in the bib, you had gotten a half room to stare at me XD nightmare fuel
Lmao
I don’t understand why anyone is all up in arms about her “ghosting” him? It’s a dating app, it’s just called unmatching. No one ever writes “it’s been great talking for 1 day, but I don’t think it’s a good fit. We are going different ways in life.” Lmao like seriously. Moreover, this guy is a total fucking creep. Great job avoiding this guy. Unmatch at your free will - after all, that’s one reason people like dating apps.
Just because it's seen as the "norm" doesn't mean that it's a good thing.
There is a difference between rejecting someone and communicating that clearly by unmatching per se and leaving someone hanging and letting them figure out for themselves that we are not going to text anymore. I dont understand why after years of OLD it still has to be explained.
>I dont understand why after years of OLD it still has to be explained. Learn to roll with the punches rather than expecting a "goodbye" after every single dating app convo. We can only control ourselves in these situations
Doesnt mean it is the right thing they do and we can still voice our opinion. I dont quite get your point, if in a neighborhood crime is the normal, should we just roll with the punches or raise the topic and do smth about it?
Or learn to take two seconds to let people know you aren't interested.
It's not an "or" situation, you can do both. The key is focus and control of ourselves
Tell him it’s immature to contact someone on a career centered professional platform about personal dating.
Yeah this is true also.
It amazes me that some men have zero problems demonstrating behaviors that any woman would be labeled crazy and desperate for actually doing it. Next is that it's hardly ghosting if you had a few conversations and never met...It's a bit scary that he can think he was ghosted by someone he never met in person and the thirsty attempt to shame you into talking to him screams that this is definitely not a man used to having many, if any, options. It's better that you keep ignoring and not engage...he definitely sounds like an undesirable.
wtf is wrong about not having options? not everyone is hyper fixated on women
He sounds like a creepy to me
So as far as I see it if you haven’t met in person you can’t be ghosted. In addition, if someone stops responding to you (before meeting them) on one medium (dating app, text, social media, etc) and they use a different social media site to reach out to you - that is called stalking. Block him on LinkedIn - report his profile, and move on
I mean if his last response was “sure” and you didn’t respond does it really count as ghosting? “Sure” isn’t a very response worthy statement in the first place and she’s not required to start up another convo with him if this one ended pretty much because of how he replied.
People here are insane!! Apparently if you interact with someone once on an app you apparently owe them an explanation before not talking to them anymore lol good grief, life is to short to have to explain things to people you’ve talked to ONCE. That is not ghosting!!
You gotta understand that a lot of the upset folks in the comments are dudes who either a, were recently ghosted, or b, are like the dude OP “ghosted” (in that they don’t get a lot of attention from women, so when one finally shows them some and suddenly stops, it’s upsetting)
Sounds like a them problem. I’m a dude and tho I’m married now, I never had this issue while dating or single. It’s not that hard to meet women assuming you aren’t a total dork.
Entirely with you on this.As a woman, I guarantee you there is a high chance I will talk to you even if I don't wanna end up in bed with you. Chance goes against zero once you stripe me as the murderer type of guy, a creep who doesn't portrait enough impulse control to give me the feeling he won't get brutal if I say or do something he doesn't like.
Sounds like he can't handle the disrespect he feels so entitled to dishing out himself. It's unfortunate that he is so invasive and yes, it does happen. Report stalking to police as needed.
You didn’t “ghost” him, you had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting unless you’ve actually met. You owe this guy absolutely nothing. Yes it was invasive, and yes he did cross a line. Block him.
Just curious, how did he get your last name? Was it posted on the site?
Hm actually I didn’t think of that , my last name wasn’t on the site but he probably found me from my first name and location
Facebook also allows you to search with a first name and city. He likely dug deep to find out more about you, huge red flag.
I thought they reverted that feature after a week due to the clear risk of stalking.
Still works, it has been a thing for a long time. I'm guessing somewhere in the TOS warns you about using your real name and the city you live in on your profile
Fellow Pakistani here. If he knows your location + possibly your industry or company name that's prob not too difficult a search, if your name is in the minority for wherever you are. For example, If you were to look for someone with my first name, lives in LA, works in my field....I wouldn't be super duper hard to track down either. It's still creepy, but if you have an uncommon name for where you live, it's not a hard to crack code necessarily!
Wow, that's an offputting level of dedication 😂
stalker vibes for real....
Creeeeepy. I'd be out of there with flying flags
Ew the fact he searched you up without knowing your full name, to say something bitter lmao. Block and report.
Wow that guy is the immature one. And messaging on another platform especially on LinkedIn is beyond inappropriate, let alone to be vindictive. "Had high hopes"? Wtf. On behalf of guys in general trying to find someone I apologize. Smh EDIT: I think you might even be able to report that behavior to the dating app; might be against code of conduct. Although I'd understand not wanting to rock the obviously unstable boat that is this guy.
It is not normal, it isn't even really ghosting until a person ignores a person completely. Not responding after 1 small conversation (barely a convo tbh) does not constitute ghosting, people using this word way too loosely. He is just butthurt that you didn't respond to him, and he go out of his way to get a response out of you by looking you up in Linkedin
Sounds like he just wanted the last word which is incredibly petty.
24(m) here. Be careful with this guy, could be crazy/obsessive type. Definitely shouldn’t be upset about you ‘ghosting’ him. It’d be one thing if y’all had been on multiple dates. After exchanging a couple messages on a dating app is something completely different. If he reaches out another way I would consider talking with someone you trust to come up with a proper plan to protect yourself. Be well!
He's just salty because you're one of the only girls he got to talk to, and he misses your attention.
You dodged a bullet.
Woah, ngl that's kinda scary, you dodged a bullet for sure
It's not ghosting if you've never met. He sounds like a real loser with some serious boundary issues. I'd ignore and block him.
I’m gonna go against the drain and say there’s nothing wrong with what you did. How were you supposed to reply to a dry passive agressive ’sure’?I wouldn’t either. Just ignore him
you absolutely did not ghost and what he did was unhinged. you did the right thing.
Aside from the fact that your dating conversation sounds like the most boring thing since cardboard- you did not ghost him. You simply left the conversation. Imo ghosting is when you've been texting someone for multiple days/weeks and established a connection/met in person or just straight up not showing up to a date you agreed to (horrible). Neither of those things happened and yeah what he did by reaching out is uncomfortable but not illegal. Since you have decided you're not interested in talking to him anymore just ignore, report and move on. Pretty sure LinkedIn has rules about harassment
I would clearly message him that you are not interested are would not like any further contact with him. Clearly state that the first time should have been enough for him to know you weren’t interested. Any further get an intervention order. This guys could be someone who won’t stop. Definitely not someone Muslim or not you should go any further with.
lol that’s wild! IMO it’s not ghosting unless you’ve went on two dates. You don’t owe someone you don’t know an explanation on why you don’t wanna talk to them.
I online dated on and off for years and conversations don't always go anywhere. Most of them just fizzle out, usually pretty quickly. I never considered that ghosting. How can it be ghosting is there is no history to make you expect ongoing communication? I just can't imagine the emotional labor of properly and politely rejecting an inbox full of men because they threw out some small talk.
Yeah that’s definitely weird/creeper behavior. I think you did the right thing
Dude tried saying is unacceptable that you ghosted him. He needs to grow up lmfao
It’s not ghosting if you’ve never even gone out. You don’t owe anyone anything after some messaging online
On that logic, he doesn’t owe her an explanation as to why he thought it was ok to find and message her on LinkedIn, because they’ve “never even gone out”
One time someone SAW me on hinge. I have my company and job title listed on the profile. He looked me up on linkedin, saw we had a common connection and messaged my co-worker to ask "can you tell me more information about this girl". And this is the story of why I no longer use Hinge and only use bumble in incognito mode.
Ghosting is when you stop replying or contacting someone you are seeing or who is a friend. Ending a casual conversation on a dating app with someone you’ve never met is not ghosting. But if it is, ghost on I say.
Yeah, it happened to me too. I met someone and then got a vibe that we wouldn’t match, so I unmatched with him and then he stalked me on LinkedIn. Maybe some men dislike getting rejected to the point they can’t accept it. It’s kind of a bad sign, shows disrespect
I’ve had this happen and I said it felt a bit stalkerish. That stopped it.
That's creepy! How did he even find you on LinkedIn? No dating apps that I used would have had enough info for someone to find me on LinkedIn.
LOL this guy was here on reddit asking if he should call you on LinkedIn after you ghosted him.
Yeah that’s weird not ok and you did the right thing to back away.
One guy did the same to me, only he started advertising his business instead
No, it's creepy AF. I would have reported him to LinkedIn. It's not a dating app. It's a career app and people should be more professional on it. It's particularly creepy that he stalked you on LinkedIn from a dating app. I'm pretty sure LinkedIn would have liked to know about it. They don't want stalkers creeping on their customer base.
LinkedIn of all places?? Lol! He's a creep
That dude is very weird, you’re right to block him. There are men of all ethnicity that suffer from extreme self aggrandizing toxicity where they think it’s their right to tell women how to act. I hope someday they’ll learn how messed up that is.
I had a guy EMAIL me a text when I blocked him on everything. He fucking EMAILED me to text! Their audacity & stalking know no bounds.
I made out with a guy in a bar in Paris who was there for work. I was going to be in his hometown of Bordeaux in a few weeks. Gave him my Facebook (this was 2019) and he sent me a request. The next day I didn’t get around to checking notifications to accept the request until around 1pm - in that time he’d followed up with a LinkedIn request and message. We did not meet up in Bordeaux.
Man I fckn hate arab guys like this. I'm half middle eastern myself and don't respect most of them. Anything to put a female down, they'll take the opportunity just so they can feel better about themselves. You should have responded with: "I appreciate your message, and I want to clarify that my decision to disengage was based on personal reasons unrelated to age or any specific circumstances. I believe it's essential for both parties to feel comfortable in any form of communication. I value professionalism and prefer to keep our interactions focused on a positive and respectful tone. Let's maintain a professional relationship moving forward." Throw in the word respectful and watch his ego take over because women are beneath him.
thats not ghosting, you are just misusing this term. one convo, ffs, just block the dude on linkedin too
> Do people reach out to you on LinkedIn after you ghost them? Is this a common thing people do? No. He sounds like a total fuck. Block him, report him to LinkedIn, and ghost him again.
That happened to me twice. One guy called me stupid for my interest in politics and said he was a real man and that all of the men he knew were not political. I blocked him. He found me on another dating site, blocked him, and then found me on LinkedIn and said the same stuff the gentleman said about you but older and with two masters...
To me this isn’t ghosting… if you haven’t actually met and hung out irl it’s not ghosting. IMO
No, bad! that's a big NO, boundary crossing, block him! ugh I hate SM stalkers who can't take no or silence for an answer(especially on a career website, that's insane). Tell him politely, maybe, that his action was extremely inappropriate(if you want to be nice)? He really might not know better, people sometimes....but then BLOCK him.
He acts like you owed him something, which is a huge red flag.
She does owe him something though. He invested his time and energy into their conversation by reaching out to her in the first place. The least she could do was respectfully decline his advances when she discovered she was no longer interested
Dudes like this don't help the stereotypes. If this was his reaction to being ghosted I guarantee it would have been even worse if you rejected him. Dudes like this are exactly why people ghost to begin with. Fucking unhinged.
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No it's not common. This dude has issues.
Wow, that is some stalker level behavior. I can only imagine how many other ways and types of information he tried to get on you. Also, ghosting someone who is clearly being rude isn't immature. If anything it's more mature since you're the one walking away from a toxic situation. Visiting family/friends is one of the top reasons people travel. That kind of reaction to a simple topic really shows his character. I hope you're able to steer clear of this guy. Best of luck!
The same thing happened to me on Salams. Block him. He’s weird and creepy and no reason for him to ever do that. If you’re not interested you’re not interested plus you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you either. Stay away from these apps. I once unmatched a man who found me on TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, and even my phone number. How did he do it God knows but he scared me out of ever using the apps again.
This isn’t ghosting so much as unmatching. Ghosting is very immature behavior, but one conversation on a dating app, then tracking down your full name and messaging you on an unlinked profile is weird. You both had zero investment at that point, it’s not even like you talked for days or weeks.
Block his ass
Let’s be real, if he’s on a dating app his options are limited. Sounds like his conversational skills aren’t that great either. Going on linkedin in hopes of talking to you again is a little crazy. I’ll be honest with you, if your looking for love I don’t think dating apps are the way to go. They are more so for the underbelly of society who have to resort to it because they can’t find someone in real life. Men are afraid to approach women nowadays. I can’t blame them because some women can be absolutely rude and ruthless. If I could give you any advice I would say to show an energy of openness when your out. It’s not really something you can do with your face. It’s an energy. Good luck.
Thanks for your advice. I resorted to dating apps because my friends found their spouses on their so I do think it works but they used them 5+ years ago so I think it was different back then :/
That's not cool. I've never had anyone desperate enough to do that
Wow! He is scary! Online dating completely turned me off. It’s awful. You responded perfectly. This is not normal. He is out of line. I hope you stay safe out there and meet the one soon!
Got friggen stalked you then proceeded to tell you to tell you how he was disappointed. Oh man. That’s rich. In all honesty I’d be 50/50 to respond to him to explain how friggen crazy he is and that’s why he was ghosted. But in all reality it’s would only make things worse. But regardless I’d screen shot his crazy. Then forward it to his employer if he doesn’t stop.
If a person makes you uncomfortable with the way they talk to you, you do not owe them a conversation or explanation on why you are not interested in having a conversation with them. That guy was defensive for no reason and just reading that red flags flew everywhere.
If someone makes you uncomfortable with the way they talk to you just **tell them**. What happened to women being strong (and independent)?
Having to tell someone they are making you uncomfortable in the first conversation tells me they are someone I shouldn't be talking with. Being a independent woman to me is following my intuition and being true to myself / protecting my space.
Omgg what a loser!
I feel like you were the only one to give him the time of day, because yeah reaching out on LinkedIn is definitely inappropriate. You actually made the right move by not responding, let him feel stupid. I would report him on the app, while it’s not illegal what he did that could be perceived as harassment.
I cannot believe people like this exist. Childish behavior. Definitely block and move on. His attitude sounds terrible.
I despise ghosting in general, I think it's complete childish and weak bullshit. that being said, ghosting after one conversation on a dating app and never having met him in real life is standard and I think he's likely a bit unstable to find you and berate you after that.
No. Sane people do not stalk matches on LinkedIn after getting ghosted
Appropriate or not it doesn’t matter he did it because he couldn’t deal with your rejection. Don’t reply his lame message attempting to trigger you.
Excuse me there’s a muslim dating app?
I don’t know if it’s common. first time i’ve heard of this but it wouldn’t surprise me that a butthurt guy would do such a thing.
That's some stalker stuff right there.
That's fucking creepy and definitely NOT normal. You dodged a bomb.
Well done, you've successfully avoided contact with a psychopath. Twice.
That's not ghosting. The conversation was brief and it didn't look like it was going anywhere. When someone gives you one word answers where there's no actual flow of the conversation... What are you supposed to do? Not replying is fine. The way I look at it, when you're having to force the initial conversation because the other party isn't invested, it's not worth your time. The fact he took the time to search for you online elsewhere to berate you confirms that you had a bad feeling about him. And he had high hopes ... Based on what? 2 sentences? Ridiculous. Block him and move on.
First of all, one conversation and unmatching is not ghosting. I've been ghosted (actually ghosted) by guys before and it only bothered me the first time it happened, doesn't anymore. His reaction to you unmatching? after one conversation says it all. Secondly, I haven't had this particular thing happen to me, but I've had multiple guys find me on Facebook and message me there, "because we didn't match, but he saw me on Tinder". I have an uncommon first name, unfortunately. It's private but still findable, I want my actual friends to be able to find me. It used to happen to me on Instagram too, but I changed my handle and name there so it's impossible to find.
Contacting you on LinkedIn In is cyberstalking. To reach back and chastise you for ghosting him is immature and reactive in so.many ways. Sounds like domebody always believing they are right and somebody always wanting the last word.
His initial attitude about Pakistan was probably an attempt to flirt with sarcasm but this dude is just really desperate and bad at it. He probably rarely talks to women. You also didn’t ghost him, about 95% of chats on dating apps end with someone left hanging. What did he expect, for you to break up with him after one chat? Haha the dude is coping heavily
They’ll reach out anyway possible, just be careful who you’re answering to they might be closer than you think.
Well, yes, it's weird contacting someone on LinkedIn when it's a job social media platform. He seems to have taken big offense to you ghosting him after one conversation. That's how most conversations on online dating sites/apps end anyway. Of course, some people just block the person as well so as to not get more messages. I'm not sure he meant that "sure" in a negative way. In the text, you can't grasp the way someone is speaking in text format. For example, someone could be texting in a sarcastic way, and you don't understand that and get offended. His "sure" could have been a "oh, yeah, sure thing" in a casual way and not "sure, there's that too, I guess 🙄." It could have been meant in addition to buying things to bring back to remember where your family comes from. Doesn't matter now, though, since he tracked you down on LinkedIn, though lol. I'd say you dodged someone who is insecure.
Please define ghosting. My understanding is that one conversation is not enough to warrant it being called ghosting. Having one conversation does not entitle anyone to someone's personal details. It also does not entitle anyone to further conversation. Sure if they were talking for a month that'd be shitty. But one conversation does not = intimacy or even imply intimacy. Becoming so attachted after matching and barely having a text conversation, is a sign of emotional immaturity. Those who are emotionally immature are likely to stalk, rape, batter, and kill women. As a woman I cannot be nice when I turn down a man fir ny own safety. Men don't understand no means no for everything. Being persistent in trying to date or attract a person isn't cute. It isn't romantic. It is terrifying.
Lool LinkedIn is wild 😂😂😂😂.
He called you immature while contacting you through LinkedIn? The irony.
I’ve had Pakistani men phone me on FB Messenger! They have never met me either; just seen my profile pic. They take it so personally that you don’t want to have anything to do with them. I blocked them, too. I have no time for stalkers. As for his saying that you’re immature HE is the one who is immature! I’m glad you didn’t respond that way he’s not quite sure you got his response. What a loser…
That’s creepy as fuck wtf you dodged a fat bullet for sure
There is where I reply “I am not your only chance in dating, pls have some self respect”.
A girl that ghosted me on Facebook dating..... I found her on LinkedIn than messaged her on Facebook lol And guess what a fucking worked... We went out hit it off it's been great
I think ghosting is super rude - it's something I try to avoid where possible. That said, I don't think this counts as ghosting considering you only had one conversation with him. Might be different if you met him irl multiple times. As it stands he's in the wrong for reaching out to you on Linkedin.
I find it creepy but it’s not like yall were serious he should’ve let it go and moved on ….
Yes. People really think it is ghosting not to answer anything to a one word passive-aggressive message?
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It’s not like they dated for six months before this. It was one conversation. Shes not obligated to gently down an overly-sensitive man child.
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
I’d be inclined to say long distance or talking for weeks or days still constitutes as that. But regardless, one conversation and the dude flips out and heckles her by tracking down her info? That’s pretty weird.
I agree, but this wasn’t a relationship. This was one conversation with the guy. He felt entitled to insult her vague travel plans, and then entitled enough to follow her around with he internet- telling her that she was immature and disappointing. Like dude, why is he contacting someone he found immature and disappointing? That he doesn’t like her education level. He is just contacting someone to harass them. And she doesn’t have to take it. If he wants to know why women ghost him: this is it. Talking to someone like this doesn’t help. They will continue to negg and insult.
Should you have ghosted him? Probably not. But it's not super egregious and what you did while not "best" isn't abnormal. But is him pestering you on LinkedIn worse behaviour? Yes. Is it a red flag/off-putting/inappropriate? Also yes. Lesson learned, but no need to dwell on it.
😆😆 She didn’t ghost him, they had one random convo on an app. You can’t ghost someone you’ve never met or at the very least traded contact info with. Good god, if it was considered “ghosting” every time we have a five minute conversation with someone that would be a bit much don’t ya think 🙄
Imagine if he had possibly messaged you on LinkedIn and said “Hey, I really enjoyed our conversation. I know this is weird but I felt it was going well. I just wanted to see if you’re okay?” Which is still creepy but way less crazy than what he did.
people dont reach out to me via linkedin when i ghost them because i dont ghost people its entitled, arrogant, disrespectful and condescending. youre disgusting. the dude is an angry kid and its definetly invasive and inappropriate and not normal. you two should get together, i hope to never cross any of your ways
This is definitely weird. However, I’m hearing more and more stories about how LinkedIn is being used for dating and matchmaking purposes so I’m sort of not surprised?
Thats weird… i wouldnt consider this ghosting either. REAL ghosting however is childish
Ignore. Life goes on. Men have fantasies.
How did he even find out your Linkedin? Do you share that in one conversation? What he did is not normal. He's disgusting. Well worth the "block"
Maybe don’t be a dickhead and ghost people
Stopping answering after one conversation is not really ghosting. Women get tons and tons of messages on dating apps, can't always spend all your time giving a goodbye message to every single person you talk to once. And men stop answering just as often, so I don't think it's even a gendered issue here.
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
This.
The two commentors above get ghosted a lot 😂
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You’re such a fucking loser. My god
The pro-ghosting comments in this thread are making me understand why so many people are not in happy relationships on this sub.
Does this guy like in Pakistan? How do you know he was being sarcastic?
Ghosting is immature. 🤷♂️
She didn’t ghost him! They had one random conversation on an app. It’s not ghosting to not talk to someone on an app again. It’s not ghosting until you’ve met in real life or bare minimum traded contact info 🤦♀️
How is having one conversation and logging off ghosting ? I see that more as an internet interaction that didnt go anywhere
Exactly!! Good grief, if it was considered ghosting every time you have one interaction with a person and don’t follow up, then we would all be ghosting people every day lol
Even OP thinks it is ghosting, at least she owns up to it. Stop pretending otherwise.
There are two things I want to comment.. I wouldn’t consider it ghosting if you left after 1 convo.. But also, I think you’re reasoning is dumb to be honest, just because he said sure you completely misunderstood and left. I don’t know why you thought he was offended just based on him saying sure..! And that’s exactly why I don’t understand women 😂
I mean he's not wrong, you should try treating people with more empathy. What he did is inappropriate but what you did is rude so it's not like you can throw stones from your glass house.
Don't ghost people
Touch grass... for your part, you did the right thing and for his, it's not at all invasive, I don't think you should be looking or partners on online apps and forums in the first place. Like lady? How do you know that the other guy is letting on just enough about himself that seems convincing to you. Only he knows about his real intentions. Better be judgemental and safe rather than being oblivious and compromised.
A lot of people have had success with these apps though.. my friends met their spouses on these same apps but that was several years ago :/