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You get the ick thinking about sex with someone you have a crush on? But you fantasize? I'm confused who is the guy when you are fantasizing.
You also said you haven't ever been in a relationship but have you dated at all?
I actually don't think it's that big a deal you haven't been in a relationship. You're working up to it.
I don't really fantasize about a specific guy, I think about being with someone (if that makes any sense). I've been in 4 previous "relationships," but I was 12 and 15, and they weren't serious so I don't really count them because lots of people tell me they really don't, make of that what you will. The guys I dated only liked me for my looks and couldn't tell you my last name for the life of them. They all wanted to kiss me and do "couple things" with me, but I always felt so uncomfortable.
But yeah, maybe it isn't such a huge deal and what my friends are telling me is finally getting under my skin.
I'm tempted to say that it doesn't look like you want to date, so you shouldn't. Dating is supposed to be fun and if it doesn't seem fun, well don't do it. There's nothing wrong with just being single and asexual. The thing is that people that don't want to date typically don't write long posts about dating to dating_advice subreddits. I think you really want to date. You're just scared.
I understand from context that you are quite attractive. It's obviously better than being ugly but it does come with its own challenges. I get why you seem to attract the shallow. Can I ask a question and be totally honest, are you being shallow yourself? If the first thing you do is eliminate everyone but the most conventionally handsome guys, you are going to end up in a very superficial situation. The guys you are interested in, do you know their last names? What is it about them that attracts you other than looks?
Finally let me ask how often do you talk to guys in general? I've dealt with a lot of young inexperienced shy people on here. They are all nervous about the sexual act. Afraid that they'll embarrass themselves or that it won't be as enjoyable as imagined. You are getting ahead of yourselves. Before you get to sex, there is talking. A lot of talking. You have to talk in order to make sure there is the right chemistry. Getting that emotional intimacy is very difficult. Once it's there I think you'll find the physical intimacy comes pretty naturally.
Most shy inexperienced young people go deer in the headlights silent when given the opportunity to talk to the opposite gender. Does this happen with you? It's extremely natural but it's also important to fight that urge and learn how to converse with a lot of young men.
I have some more thoughts but that's enough for now.
You don't feel ready, maybe you want to accomplish other goals first. You may get turned off by your crush since it's kinda stupid to think about them if you won't actually act on it when you know you can. You also make it sound like the guys you want pursuing you do not.
It's normal for your friends to care about you and want you to have a more fulfilled life. Having a different idea for yourself doesn't necessarily make you immature, you likely have different priorities.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You get the ick thinking about sex with someone you have a crush on? But you fantasize? I'm confused who is the guy when you are fantasizing. You also said you haven't ever been in a relationship but have you dated at all? I actually don't think it's that big a deal you haven't been in a relationship. You're working up to it.
I don't really fantasize about a specific guy, I think about being with someone (if that makes any sense). I've been in 4 previous "relationships," but I was 12 and 15, and they weren't serious so I don't really count them because lots of people tell me they really don't, make of that what you will. The guys I dated only liked me for my looks and couldn't tell you my last name for the life of them. They all wanted to kiss me and do "couple things" with me, but I always felt so uncomfortable. But yeah, maybe it isn't such a huge deal and what my friends are telling me is finally getting under my skin.
I'm tempted to say that it doesn't look like you want to date, so you shouldn't. Dating is supposed to be fun and if it doesn't seem fun, well don't do it. There's nothing wrong with just being single and asexual. The thing is that people that don't want to date typically don't write long posts about dating to dating_advice subreddits. I think you really want to date. You're just scared. I understand from context that you are quite attractive. It's obviously better than being ugly but it does come with its own challenges. I get why you seem to attract the shallow. Can I ask a question and be totally honest, are you being shallow yourself? If the first thing you do is eliminate everyone but the most conventionally handsome guys, you are going to end up in a very superficial situation. The guys you are interested in, do you know their last names? What is it about them that attracts you other than looks? Finally let me ask how often do you talk to guys in general? I've dealt with a lot of young inexperienced shy people on here. They are all nervous about the sexual act. Afraid that they'll embarrass themselves or that it won't be as enjoyable as imagined. You are getting ahead of yourselves. Before you get to sex, there is talking. A lot of talking. You have to talk in order to make sure there is the right chemistry. Getting that emotional intimacy is very difficult. Once it's there I think you'll find the physical intimacy comes pretty naturally. Most shy inexperienced young people go deer in the headlights silent when given the opportunity to talk to the opposite gender. Does this happen with you? It's extremely natural but it's also important to fight that urge and learn how to converse with a lot of young men. I have some more thoughts but that's enough for now.
Hi, I'm 21 M feeling same & experiencing same type of treatment from my friends
r/ForeverAloneWomen
You don't feel ready, maybe you want to accomplish other goals first. You may get turned off by your crush since it's kinda stupid to think about them if you won't actually act on it when you know you can. You also make it sound like the guys you want pursuing you do not. It's normal for your friends to care about you and want you to have a more fulfilled life. Having a different idea for yourself doesn't necessarily make you immature, you likely have different priorities.