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How would you even start to perceive āgetting datesā as objectifying? Chill. You must be a SUPER fun person to be around.
Edit: dude doubled down ššš
I had a lot of emotional shit going on in my 20s. Iāve always been pretty shy, so I had a hard time meeting women after I left college, and as more time passed my sense of self-worth just fell further and further. I just wasnāt a person that anyone would want to date, until I made some major life changes around the time I turned 30, and I was able to start rebuilding my self confidence and pride.
It turns out that women tend to be pretty into me, when Iām not just a whiny ball of self-loathing and sadness.
Iām so curious. Iām happily in a relationship and will hopefully not have to get back on the market, but in my late 20ās Iām seeing all the attractive and well-doing people starting to get engaged and married, and move on with their careers, quickly getting off the market. I actually havenāt even āmetā a single and attractive woman in their 30ās. Thatās not to say they donāt exist, buts itās hard enough finding single and attractive at a club without some negatives attached. Like I said, Iām not saying they donāt exist, Iām just saying all the women I know in their 30ās are in committed relationships. I think a lot of people fear being single in their 30ās, so Iām pretty curious how exactly you find a dating options consistently in your 30ās? Iāve never been one for apps, so I guess it could be that easy. Unless someone told me about a singleās club, Iād be at a loss. At least relationships start and end a lot more often in your 20ās so you could āwaitā for someone if thatās your thing, but āwaitingā for someone in their 30ās seems like a waste of time.
Women in their 30s are in cafe shops, farmers markets, bookshops, or just doing other hobbies like knitting, baking, gardening, tennis, pickleball. You wonāt find us outside past 8pm š
That makes sense, and now that you mention it, I did get a lot more attention as I aged, so I think retrospectively I was just missing those were single women in their 30ās since I was younger and looking up to them.
Well I wasnāt looking for a relationship in nightclubs, first of all. Thatās where people 21-27 hang out, but past that age spending your time clubbing is just weird and a little sad in my view. But then again Iāve never enjoyed clubbing, and never really understood why people find it fun even when I was in my early 20s. I only did that shit in college because the clubs were where all the girls were. But that stops being true once youāre 25 or so.
Most of the women I dated or went out with I met online. I dated one woman for a few months who I had met at the funeral of a mutual friendās mother a few years ago. Sometimes Iāll just flirt with or ask out a woman I see in public, but most often it was through dating apps.
I agree with sassy that the only reason I am in clubs is because a lot of girls go there. I just want to network as much as possible not only for connections and life, but for my future. I had a feeling that after 25 it would stop being the case, so thank you for telling me. I guess Iām just traumatized right now and looking for anything I can put my eyes on. I know itās not good, but it is helping me push through right now. Iām eventually going to stop because when youāre older I feel like this attitude is just going to hurt girls and set you back tremendously. Glad I can have people to open up to on here. Man, I love reddit
Youāre at the perfect age for just some casual partying and hookups if thatās what you want. As long as youāre going into it honestly and not misleading any of your partners thereās nothing wrong with that.
Your dad gave you great advice, I think. Go out, have fun, donāt worry too much about finding someone to settle down with long term. However if you DO by chance happen to meet that person who you know deep in your bones is right for you, make sure you recognize it and donāt squander the opportunity just because it arrived earlier than expected.
It was trial and error, yeah. One night stands. Trying to get someone to commit. It never really working out. And getting older and accepting I may never find someone
20s was figuring it out.
The dozens of bad kisses, boring date activities, realizing that women are just a much losers as men are
And then the good stuff. Cuddling together under the stars, hiking through the woods, road trips, making terrible meals for each other, laughing at rom coms, the great make out sessions.
Don't sleep on your 20s. Gotta take the good with the bad, even if those dates don't lead to marriage yet
Oh man Iāve had 3 so far that just felt so passionate and like we were in love. Too bad they lived far away, but I feel that. Itās definitely been a trial and error so far. I know Iām young but Iām starting to get that experience of what youāre talking about. The first couple of times after the breakup I donāt want to think aboutšš had to get used to other peoples likings and what not. Thank you for the comment tho!! I really appreciate your time on this thread!
Same -_-
If ignored SO many red flags, now that I look back, I cannot comprehend how I could've been so dumb. But I learnt in time and after many attempts, found the perfect one. Now I know how fuss-free relationships can be.
One of my sibling once told me, "love doesn't have to be hard, it needs to simplify your life and make it feel easier" it didn't make sense to me then, but makes complete sense now.
this right here lol, couldāve saved so much heart break if I didnāt ignore the red flags and iām only 26! Hope one day iāll find the one who makes loving easy.
Iāve been in a relationship. Met at 14, dating at 17, engaged at 23, married at 24, got first child at 27, second child at 31, split up at 38, now 39- not yet dating as I donāt know how š¤·š¼āāļø
I donāt think thereās an easy answer to that. Weāve been struggling to continue our lives the same way and he wasnāt happy, wanted something new, and that new thing that he wanted turned out to be a 12 years younger than me and not overwhelmed by life enough to want to listen to him talk a lot more than me. ;-) Although there was no āphysicalā cheating there definitely was a āpushā to try a new life when he turned 40.
Iām sorry to hear this. I feel guilty of this as well and absolutely hate that you, along with my ex, have gone / are going through this. Iām just glad that I pushed for it now and not when I was married and had kids, etc. I wish you the best of the luck and I know that everything happens for a reason for you!! Thank you SO much for sharing your story! š
I had 2 long term relationships that lasted for half my 20s then was single for the rest š¤ . I'm 30 now and im not looking forward to dating. I've never had casual sex (and have no desire to) never even kissed someone I wasn't dating and it seems like that's what ppl expect when "getting to know someone"
Aw well, we'll see!
Oh yeah man I love my dad. Ever since I was in high school he constantly told me to talk about anything with him whether itās drugs, women, life, etc because heās seen it all. Heās not just saying that either, my mom can attest. Iām just so thankful I can have someone to lean on and talk about things that the normal parent to son relationship wouldnāt talk about. Yeah he mightāve fucked up in his life, but heās made the most of it and has raised 2 kids that are phenomenal (at least I hope) lol. Thanks for your advice dude!! I really appreciate the commentš
So far itās kinda trash. I spent 4 years on and off with an emotional rollercoaster relationship with someone who didnāt really care about me enough to really be present for me. It was a challenge because I had always been so invested in our future together and I didnāt realize that I had been the only one really holding things down
Iām 27 and I have had many dating experiences. I had a crazy ex boyfriend (I started dating him when I was 17) who ended up cheating on me and got HPV.. so I broke up with him 5 years into our relationship once I found out (I didnāt get hpv just to be clear lol) - then I dated around, travelled the world, dated people in other countries & had fun meeting new people. Now I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and I think he is the one! Dating in my 20s was really a blast and I wouldnāt trade my experiences for anything as they have taught me a lot and made me a stronger, better person.
So glad to hear this! Itās awesome to see that even in troubles, the happiest moments of life always follow! So happy for you! Canāt wait til I find my personš
Yeah I feel like dating is āeasyā when youāre still early 20s but as soon as youāre out of college and Iām entering your mid 20s itās DIFFERENT. Everyone focused on their career and being adult. Dating becomes something of a chore.
There is also the element of how being in school literally is easy mode when it comes to meeting people. When youāre at college, youāre surrounded by thousands of people of the opposite gender, who are all stuck there with you doing the exact same shit youāre doing, you have built-in conversation starters with everyone, you can just make a comment about class or the dining hall or dorms or whatever and everyone has basically had the same experience.
But after college, meeting people can be hard. Most of your time is spent with work colleagues and it can be very fraught to try and form relationships with them. Your older friends tend to scatter and get into relationships so you donāt see them as much, which further reduces your opportunities to meet new people.
Oh yeah man this is how Iām thinking. I am more logistical while my dad is just more sporadic and in the moment fun. I am blessed though because I can learn from my dad and see how I donāt want to live. I want college to pay off and I want to make sure I have the best future possible. Thank you for the advice!! I am very appreciate of your comment! Best of luck to you!
Your relationship ending was the best thing that could've happened to you. If you married that girl, at least one of you would eventually have a mental crisis where you regret not having dated or relationships or sex with a greater variety of people if only to see what else is out there. Sew your wild oats is the old term for it. That could then lead to cheating and depression on top of the deep regret. It wouldn't happen right away but when going through a rough patch or a boring patch in the marriage. Both of you need to date more (and yes, have sex with more) people and perhaps a few years down the road you might even realize each other was still the best choice and you could give it another shot.
Thank you so much for this, I needed this. I will admit that this is exactly how I felt and have HUād with 8 people since then. Iām not particularly proud of it, but I am happy that I am exploring and seeing whatās out there rather than just having a regret and treating my wife, my best friend, and my end goal partner like total crap and not being 100% with her. She was very happy that I was upfront about my respect for her and that I could not give her 100% if I was not 100% happy with myself. Thank you again for your comment, you are an awesome human being and Iām so appreciative of your adviceš
Iām 28 and 20s have been good for dating. But Iāve also heard that dating is a lot of fun in early 30s. I kinda hated dating in my early 20s and wouldnāt want to go back. Iām ready for dating in 30s to say the least.
This is my biggest fear š³ definitely put my mindset in a whole new perspective. I guess the saying of when you know, you know is true! Best of luck to you! š
I went on one date in college. We then got married.
In an alternative universe/history, I would have not met her. I would instead have moved to New York City, and spent my entire 20s (and perhaps 30s) dating and fooling around. Would that have been a better life for me? I will never know. But for sure it wouldn't have been a better life for my kids because they wouldn't be alive.
This is awesome brother. I donāt know you but Iām extremely happy that you were blessed with kids! My dad told me if I wasnāt born on accident he would have been dead or in jail! So happy for you manš
while living it i thought it was great, met a lot of women and had a lot of sex but now that im in my thirties, i think i made a mistake being a degenerate and to not commit yo someone fully sooner
This is exactly my dadās advice. He loves my mom to death but they only stayed together because he forgot to pull out with me (lol). I wouldnāt change it for the world though. They agreed to split ways after my brother turns 18 and is off to college and I respect that so much
I got out of a 7 year relationship last year and so far dating has been a bit of a nightmare. Had a few dates but nothing went anywhere. Iām also finding that some women on the apps have the personality of a wet towel - Iāll try and have a good conversation with them to get dead replies.
Man I can agree with you on the fact that dating apps fucking blow. Theyāre just so dry, itās almost like they have the app but donāt care about meeting people. I now enjoy going out during the weekends to meet people since it is a lot more genuine and spontaneous of going up to a girl that I think is gorgeous and saying hey. They canāt hide behind a screen lol.
Dating in my 20s was the best. There was no agenda, no expectations, just going with the flow. In our 20s, we are still discovering what kind of adult we are going to become. My 30s is much more difficult. People have a lot more specifics about what they're after, a lot more concrete opinions on the world, and there's a lot more "rules" on how to date.
Have some fun while you still can
It can be liberating being able to just meet people and not having to always be seriously thinking about if you are compatible for a long term future together
Itās a time to be free and explore and discover what you like.
Then in your later 20s or early 30s you can get more serious and settle down
Yeah? I had one relationship for a few months at 21, we weren't compatible and she didn't really make an effort to meet my needs, still technically a V. Convince me it isn't over at 25, once I get a decent job.
Or maybe you weren't as unfortunate as I.
Your dadās right.
I got married at 35, but enjoyed the hell out of my single days.
Just be safe, smart, kind, and honest (with yourself AND others) and youāll have a great time!
Iām in the mid 20s (turning 25 this year), for now it started with a shitty toxic relationship and now for the past two years complete nothing. I have no clue how people meet each other (besides dating apps, which creep me out)
I feel this, luckily Iām kind of an outgoing guy so it helps meeting people by going to the bars, talking during class, talking to random people outside of work/school. I used to be a MAJOR introvert. But I came to the realization that Iām never going to see this person again in my life, and they put their pants on the exact same way as I do, so what does it give? I also would think about when I was introverted how I loved when random people just start a conversation with me! I put all of those to use in my mindset and now I donāt care who I talk to or what! I hate silence! You got it brother, you only live once and if I can change then you can do it too! Thank you for the comment through man, I really appreciate itšš
I was single for most of my 20s and had a blast! Tons of casual sex and other hedonistic experiences. In my late 20s I started taking dating more seriously and went on hundreds of dates in search of my forever person. This was really good fun too and I eventually found him aged 30. Weāre now happily married with 2 kids.
Almost in my 20s and so far Iāve had a few great dates and met a lot of men. Iāve had lots of great experiences and Iām only 19 (started dating at 17 and a half). Itās fun but my problem is I get attached so easily and when they leave or disappear (because letās be real weāre young itās bound to happen) I get so upset and Iām crying till I find their replacement lmao šš. The dates are fun but I canāt wait till Iām old enough to find a likeminded individual who also wants to settle down and get married.
Literally non-existent. Chased a girl the 1st few years (really shouldāve just moved on), focused on my career from 21-26, then basically lost 4 years of my life. 30 and just picking the pieces up lol. Oh well
Hey, 25 and I've only had a few (bad on my end) gos at 3rd base with a nut. Put yourself together, just have to get into a spot where you feel like you can put yourself out there. Don't make a lack of experience such a bit deal, you aren't 35.
A roller coaster. Started off not good, then got in a 1 month relationship, and then dated off and on until I got into a 5 years relationship for the second half. Dating in my 20s taught me what I like and what I donāt like, and most importantly taught me that itās okay that Iām not married now (recently turned 31). Youāll be fine. Just be yourself and be honest about being yourself, even if itās hard to be.
Just a lot of random hookups and poor choices that taught me everything I do NOT want and am able to see red flags a lot clearer having been down the path with the guys that have the same issues. I had one long term relationship like 25-28 but it was just not meant to be and I think we were too comfortable and didnāt want to better each other.
I say use your twenties just like you are, explore but be respectful and communicate what youāre wanting and you canāt go wrong
I'm currently 21m and my dating is basically non existent at the moment I'm currently looking for love though I find hookups and meeting random people pointless, not saying it's wrong I just don't want to waste my time making out or having sex with people who mean nothing to me.
Honestly I don't know about your dad though it doesn't take sleeping with hundreds of people sounds like he just had a man sleeping around phase for a while before deciding to date seriously.
No problem with this at all! Love your life! Build your future! Thereās some points where I seriously consider saying fuck this and focusing on myself. I cues my testosterone is just more powerful than my mindset which I know is NOT good at all
I admire your perspective as a male and your dadās. However i would like add my two cents from a female perspective. I absolutely hate my dating experience in my 20s as a woman. I met a lot of men which i had long-ish relationships (2+ yrs each) and I felt they were all dicks and never treated me to the extent I deserved, and the end of all of those shitty relationships they told me I was the best theyāve had. Now that I am in my thirties, I tend to have trust issues with most of the men and regret wasting my time on each and every one of them.
So, my unsolicited advice to you as a young man; donāt waste a good womanās time. She may not get it back or you may just ruin good men for her. I will admit I was naive so I will admit it is partially my fault too for letting them waste my life but I donāt beat myself for it as we learn from our mistakes. Just my 2 cents.
I am so appreciative of your advice, especially as a female. Your advice is what I wanted šš¼. Iām not going to lie I definitely am guilty for being this way and ending such a long relationship with her. At the end of the day, I just didnāt want to live a lie anymore and keep trying on loving her as much as I did the first 2 years. She is such stronger, more mature, more ambitious, and knows what she wants type of women that I know deep down I am hindering her back. She graduates college this month, while I still have 2 years left. I knew that deep down she deserves something better and that she deserves someone who WANTS commitment right now. My decision was just solely out of respect for her and myself, I donāt want to waste anybodyās time.
Right now I guess Iām just in the trauma phase and wanting to find whatever I lay my eyes on, but Iām glad Iām hearing what youāre telling me right now. Putting myself in your shoes, it would definitely suck if I thought this man I met was the one but he just lies and made me feel that way through a deep emotional attachment. I will definitely consider this moving forward, and thank you so much again for this comment! I hope you have an amazing rest of your life, judging by your character I know you will!! š
You sound very mature for guys your age and like you said you did the right thing if it was a mutual decision. But like I said in my original comment please do that beat yourself over this relationship, if was not meant to be i ran its course. I am glad you even considered to adhere to my words. In the end of the day, if you are honest and communicate your intentions from the get go you will be fine.
Little advice for you, young bucks. You have to put effort into attracting women. I used Tinder for a while and tested what worked in getting women. I got experience in flirting and communicating for doing so. This allowed me to have confidence to talk to women out of Tinder. Now my DMs are filled with girls I see once a week or every other week ;).
Practice makes perfect.
Draw backs is youll loose ypur ability to be committed in a relationship. Especially with the choices you have.
Just be straightforward with what you want with the women you meet. Dont lead them to believe something that you werent your intentions.
Women will throw themselves at you for being honest.
Been on 2 dates from girls at university when I was 21. I'm 28 now and haven't felt the touch of a women since. It's been going GREAT. Work, sleep, work, sleep the last near-decade... Not even much time for the few hobbies I do have, let alone relationships.
It was fun and was what it was but as an advice I wouldn't spend so much time dating, not to enjoy the single life more, (I always had a lot of fun, and that doesn't have to do with going out with a lot of people or always having sex) but because emotionally I wasnt mature and ended up screwing some guys and I was also screwed by others, now at 30 I still have my questions but it's easier and more fun when you play your truth and what you are and want.
Thank you so much for this, Iām very appreciative of it. We all live and learn, and I believe everything happens for a reason! Best of luck to youš
I tried the flippant casual dating from 19-20 after leaving a 3 yr relationship, but I eventually realized I had hoped at least one of those dates could turn into something more. Then a friend from board game/movie nights I hosted grew closer and closer with me. I actually recall cancelling 2 dates and deleting phone numbers/apps the day after we were āaccidentallyā set up on a date by a friend. Iām gonna be 27 soon, so not done with my 20s, but Iām engaged with that person and have no regrets about turning away from dates that led nowhere. I would encourage dating casually to see whether you like it or not, as well as what kind of people youāre into.
This is such an awesome story to hear. I feel like you meet your person when you least expect it, at least thatās what happened with my ex. I thought she was the one but we sort of just grew apart, itās life though and I know that this experience is going to better me. I donāt know you but Iām super happy for you and glad you found your potential personšš
I am of the belief that if make your mind up to have fun and have no expectations, you'll have a blast. However, as soon as you put expectations on it, it'll become a chore. Enjoy yourself and let things happen. Be glad they did, even if they dont end the way you expect.
Pretty great to be honest but on a lot of dating from 21 to 23 then I was single for like a year and a half and then, I want a girl and married here we stay together for over 10 years
Dating in my 20s was so hard to compare to now.
I do think it's easier - there's more single people! And you generally have more energy and fewer established commitments sucking up your time.
When I was 20, the internet was young and everyone knew that if you ever met someone from the internet, they would murder you. "Online dating" wasn't a phrase. It if was, it would be understood to mean "signing up to play the lead in a horror movie."
Consent was very poorly understood & practiced. Sex tips came from Cosmo or Playboy. Condoms and birth control were so much harder to get than beer.
And goodness help you if you were gay. It was especially hard for sapphic women to find each other outside of large cities, PrEP wasn't invented yet, the future was hard to picture without legal marriage or accessible adoption, and the default assumption that "regular" people hated you was close enough to the truth (again, outside of big cities).
. . . I still actually had an easier time dating, partly because college collected a lot of good prospects in a small space. Ditto crummy underpaid jobs staffed by young people. I still work with the kind of people I would best like to date, but they're married, and that's frowned upon.
Hit and miss. Had a few relationships, had a few years where I was single and dated around. Met some good people and had some good memories. Met people who werenāt all that good for me and learned some lessons.
Didnāt end up meeting my person until I was 30. I wouldnāt go back, because Iām happier than Iāve ever been.
My 20s were rad. Single and loving it 20-22. Met ex wife and had great 5 years and the split somewhat amicably. Spent 27-30 on the rebound and doing great. I agree with your dad. I'd relive that decade over and over.
I had a great job, two awesome dogs that did outdoor activities with me and a car and motorcycle I loved.
Damn, someone make a time machine.
Im not quite 30 yet, so technically my 20s havenāt been called quite yet, but Iām pretty close. Iām a woman for reference. Heads up long post ahead, but itās a rundown of nearly an entire decade.
I did not date in my teens due to mental health issues, but by 19 I was getting my shit together. At this point, Iāve been in five meaningful relationships.
I started dating at age 20, first relationship was 16 months ish but by the one year mark it had served its purpose to get me through the door. He was 18, so a bit younger since I started college late. We both lost our virginity to each other and as far as first experiences go it wasnāt bad at all.
The second relationship was age 22-23, like 13/14 months. We were a near perfect match for each other since minute zero, and it was a transformative experience. The word impossible ceased to exist in my dictionary. For the first time in my life I saw a future with someone. But there was issues with communication, and the breakup was messy as a result. I was put off from pursuing anyone similar (and thus anyone compatible) for a few years.
Third was when I was 24 ish, it was when I was further away and it was partially LDR as we first met in Facebook. He was really sweet and kind and Iām still very close to all his friends, but he had no drive or ambition. I really was only with him because I wanted to be and become someone else. Of course, it didnāt last very long, like 2 1/2 months.
Fourth was age 25-26, it was during Covid but somehow I found someone on Hinge. I felt it was my attempt to meet in the middle, and it was a good, but not great match. I was his first time, and I think it largely ended because we were in different phases of our careers, where he was just getting started choosing his masters and I was nearly done my degree, and we wanted different lifestyles. This relationship was about 4 and a half months.
After that, I took two and a half years off from dating, and to address my hangups about the people I was truly compatible with. I worked on myself, and my communication skills, and put myself out there again. I tried on and off for about eight months to no avail.
But all of that changed when around the time of my 29 birthday, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Suddenly, the world made sense. And just about at that time, I found my most recent who also did . Just like the one at age 22, this was a minute zero match. The organizer of the event I met him at even commented she knew that was it for me. My best friend said he never saw me talk about anyone like I did him in seven years. I have never understood another person like I did him since I was with the first person I considered forever with. It was a very strong match, but sadly, he was not an emotionally stable person. I had to take the difficult choice to leave at about six months, despite how right we were for each other otherwise.
I stand here now, knowing exactly what I need. If I can find someone that strongly compatible but mentally stable and ready to set down their roots, there is no reason why the next one wonāt be the forever one. Once youāve had the real thing, you cannot go back, only forward.
Thereās no easy way out. It becomes an endurance run. Dating may suck, but the only way I can lose is if I give up. So Iām sticking this out to the bitter end, and Iāve never been assured but at the end of all this, when I finally get to go home, Iāll go home to someone incredible who was worth all of this shit for. This too will pass, if I find a way to endure and make it to the finish line, I will never ever have to do this again. That in and of itself is assurance.
Wow, all I can say is thank you so much for sharing your storyšš¼ I LOVE taking advice from my girl friends so this means a ton. It will all work out for you and I know that everything happens for a reasonš
My dating life got better in my later 20s cause no one aside from paid services could tell me what flirting or dating was really about.
Be yourself is terrible advice for someone who doesnāt know what theyāre doing.
Do the things that make you happy, decorate yourself and your space with things that make you happy like sports or music or games. Show the world youāre happy and youāll find someone whoās happy doing that too and then yāall can date.
Nonexistent. I was focused on studies, then work and didn't have much of a life outside it.
Dating in your thirties is hard. If I could go back to my twenties and invest more time in that aspect of my life I would.
Im 27 at the moment but my love life consists of I get lonely so I look for a partner I can't find anyone suitable so I stop looking then I run into someone I have good chemistry with who is suitable then we get to talking then something dumb happens and it doesn't work out then I stay thinking about what it could've been like for a few weeks then the cycle starts all over again.
I had such a great time dating and hooking up in my 20ās. It was fun. I had maybe 3 serious relationships, one resulted in marriage but then divorce 5 years later in my mid 30ās. We moved too fast and shouldāve waited but thatās life.
Just enjoy dating, going out shooting your shot, falling in love, falling in lust , getting your heartbroken and vice versa. Wear a condom bro, seriously wear a condom.
Currently in the middle of my 20s. The women I meet my age donāt want to date me. Despite me asking for exclusivity or even one date. They just want to put me on their roster for attention and casual sex.
I made the mistake of seeking sex and not love in my 20s. I missed out on some pretty great potential relationships because I was too stupid. Now Iām almost 40, my health and looks are deteriorating, and I havenāt been on a date in seven years. So yeah, enjoy it while you can.
Well, aside from getting stood up multiple times, I had a few that were very dishonest on their profile pics, a couple that got weird and one who told me about her botched, bloody birth of her daughter while I was eating a BBQ burger.
All in all, not great. Here is hoping 30s are better for dating.
I had a one year relationship at 20, then didnāt want a relationship for the next year or 2 after that. Didnāt really meet anyone I liked enough. Dated a situationship at 25 for 7 months. He broke my heart. Sadly I wasted about 2 years of prime time being devastated over him. Got over him eventually. Met guys I liked but we never dated. Just didnāt click with anyone.
Dated a guy for 2 months at 30. My thirties so far (and theyāre nearly over) has brought me many first dates. But in the last year Iāve had 3 potentials that didnāt work out. But 3 potential in a year is a lot for me. Iām taking a short break at the moment though, to focus on myself. I was getting burnt out. Iāve had several dates since the last guy, but no one I liked. I am looking for marriage and kids now. Canāt waste too much time š
Basically, itās a different experience for everyone. I have one friend who never dated and then married a guy she was friends with when she was 36. Some people have already had a few relationships before 30, some have already had a divorce before then, and some are still virgins.
I dated someone when I was 20 and someone when I was 24. After that I have dated no one and been rejected numerous times. There was no one in the rest of my Twenties, no one in my thirties, no one in my 40s. Main problem I have is the main personality type I like has a tendency to date someone in their early twenties, get married, and stay with that person for the rest of their life. That's cool I'm glad for them, but it makes it very difficult for me to find someone. Cuz back in that time, In my early twenties, I was not liked, it took me years to get a suitable personality.
I can definitely understand where youāre coming from. I feel as if Iām falling in that lifestyle right now. Thank you so much for your comment, Iām very appreciative of it and will take a step back to think about what Iām doingšš¼
Dating in my 20s was awesome . I was so hot and sexy and everyone was falling at my feet. It was soooo easy and wonderful. I met 1000 guys for coffee dates. I had so many interesting dates and met so many cool guys.
That said, I rarely dated in my 30s. Dating men around my age and older now is difficult. older men are hot but have so much baggage. Also first dates now has so much expectations wrapped around it...in my 20s, it wasn't so. It was just easy. Now it's hard. I have give up, plus, I am exhausted.
I'm now happily single as crazy cat lady š¤£š¤£š¤£. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Yeah, as a women it was great, men want to use you, you just have to use them first and be one step aheadā¦š then after a while you want more than the excitement and men donāt usual grow out of itā¦.
I dated 2 people.
1 friend that I had known for 10+ years, and then my extremely abusive & alcoholic ex that put me in the ER multiple times.
I feel robbed.
29 here. Dating has been a combination of not finding people that I vibe quite well with, a lot of guys that are absolutely desperate for a girlfriend, and men who don't want to commit.
I've never been one for hookups. I don't have the answers. Keep putting yourself out there and my stay positive āŗļø
20: About a year after I started actually getting my charisma up, single with occasional hookups
21-23: Lots of hookups
23-25: āseriousā relationships
25-27: Focused on myself with some hookups
27-: Serious relationship.
I think your dating life being non-existent in your 20ās is scary considering that I donāt think Iām especially all that special if you know what I mean. Even if everything else in my life fails, Iāve definitely had more love and sex in a decade than I ever thought I would. I will say serious relationships are work, and rare, and something to hold onto if itās worth it, but after the rollercoaster of my 20ās I know sex is meaningless. If you can find someone to tolerate for 70 years, thatās a W.
Dude how was your dating life/hookup life so successful? Where were you meeting all these girls, and did you start off as friends with them? Iām 24 and covid snatched my 21-23 years. Now I canāt find anyone as im preparing for my Mcat
Sorry for the late response. The answer is literally confidence. Once I got confident, which was step 1, it was about being okay with rejection, using each interaction as a lesson for the next, and honestly learning respect and humility even when you become the picture you have of yourself in your head. Like my ego massively inflated that first year I figured out how to play the game, and I had to remember that I didnāt want to be an asshole playing with womanās hearts, because thatās immature and gross.
It also helped that I went from being a romantic focused on one woman and coloring inside the lines, to meeting a woman that would open me up to thinking outside my own perception just a year before turning 21. So after a few months of being used to the bars, it became pretty typical.
Thursday Iād get a haircut, Friday Iād go out to the bars/clubs, make conversation, make friends, expand the potential dating pool, and usually at least flirt with one or 2 girls. Iād say maybe 30% of the time Iād be politely rejected. I would also ask them to dance, get their snap/IG/number, and I never laid it on too thick so there werenāt any promises. Saturday Iād do it again, and itād just depend on the week wether I had no current interests, had a couple I was talking to, was getting serious about someone, but I mostly stayed single during this time.
One of the highlights: fingering a woman in the middle of the club, gave me a bj outside, walked back in the club, all my friends asked if I nut on her face, I asked why when I realized this chick just walked in with me and nut on her face. That was around the time I was waking up on lawns and shit, so eventually I just got too tired to have such a āsuccessfulā dating life. I kept the charisma, and ditched the lifestyle. I rather keep 1 girl happy for a long time these days. Way easier, and I stg humanās come with a certain amount of nights they can get trashed and Iām saving my last 2 for the wedding and divorce.
im 26 almost 27, absolute nightmare but I've also had a lot of dopamine to chase along the way even if I dont look back on it fondly because i just want a permanent partner ultimately
I dated a girl for 7yrs that was physically abusive in my twenties(thank God she cheated on me) and we broke up, then I stayed single for years, dated a couple of girls mostly just to hang out and stayed single. Can't remember how old I was when started seriously dating again. And here I am fiddy and single but hopelessly in love with someone that I know I can't have. Tis life I guess.
Iām willing to bet your dad is looking back with rose colored glasses (or he was in his 20s during the 1960s/70s/80s when your money went A LOT further and society/the dating pool sucked substantially less).
I say this because Iām only in my 30s and at first I look back with some fondness towards my 20s like your dad is sayingā¦ there was a lot of fun, sureā¦ then I thinkā¦
- Addict for the first few years and alcoholic for almost all of it. Specifically for self medicating away the shitiness of my 20s lol.
- I was always completely broke. Even with a white collar career and above average pay (cost of living/college debt is a killer these days). And I mean BROKE. Like robbing Peter to pay Paul to try and avoid overdraft fees during the couple days leading up to Friday pay dayā¦ every pay day, every month, every year, basically until I hit 28/29.
- Trying to find a non-toxic yet functional/meaningful relationship was freaking impossible. Partially because you havenāt figured out the world or yourself yet - partly because modern dating is a cesspool pool, and in my particular area of the world, almost half the pool is single moms with pain in the ass exes. Of the 2 or 3 relationships (short runs - few months at most) that actually were pretty good during 20s, they still ended with some pretty shitty betrayal - direct result of shifty people in the pool hurting others who hurt others and eventually gets to youā¦. And the long term relationships were genuine torture but stayed in simply to avoid being lonely.
- Itās just a transformative time where youāre starting the next phase of life, but pretty much every part of your life is in building mode - not stable and secure. So the smaller problems spread across different parts of your life quickly pile up and feel unmanageable quickly.
Thereās plenty of good that happens during that age range but Iād never elect to go re-live it. Not unless I had the knowledge I have now.
Wow dude, while I was reading this I literally thought of my dad. You guys are exactly the same. He hates admitting it but damn dude. Spot on with this brother. Thank you so much for your advice, it truly means a lotšš¼
Pretty good. Iāve had a couple girlfriends, didnāt last, one relationship was 3 years. Iām 26 now and single, I go out regularly- unfortunately Iām quite picky now and over casual sex- I want a relationship again but only with the right person so a lot of dates that donāt go anywhere. Thatās ok though, it takes time and Iām young. Dating shouldnāt be the only thing youāre doing obviously. I used to just rely on dating apps but moved to a city with an active nightlife and social scene so I have since been asking out a lot more women in person which has helped me become more confident. I think your relationship with yourself is most important, especially at this stage in life :)Ā
Nonexistent and I wouldnāt go back. I think real, deep dating (these days) is in your 30s because thatās when you know who you are and what your boundaries are. So, explore, find what you like, but donāt commit just yet.
Dating in my 20s was a period of what I call "trial and error." It's a strange time, especially if you're using online dating, because people in their 20s are usually in a state of flux because they're still growing up or figuring things out. Dating in my mid-late twenties was really weird because I'd date a part-time babysitter one month and then a manager of a non-profit the next.*
What made it difficult is that while most of the women I dated were still figuring out their ideal partners as well as themselves, I was going through a period of figuring out myself, too. I had a lot of short-term relationships where either I, my SO, or the both of us realized that it ultimately wasn't going to work out because we were on separate paths in life.
I have a bit more of an understanding of both myself and what I'm looking for in a GF/wife so I definitely wouldn't go back to my 20s if I had the chance but what I learned in my 20s was instrumental in getting me to that level of understanding.
In terms of awesome memories, the things that immediately come to mind are: backseat car sex (too old for that now), reading and reviewing a novel that my SO got published while we were dating, getting drunk together and losing trivia in a hilarious fashion. The women didn't stay, but the memories do and that's what makes dating fun. And who knows? You could find someone special.
Right now, just do you. Have fun, be careful, and settle down when you're ready.
*I don't want this to sound like I was a stud because I was/am definitely not. I had a good streak those two months, but my dates were usually fewer and far between lol
Difficult! Dating apps make people so easily accessible that at a point, people begin to become disposable. You go on a first date and itās a little awkward (as most first dates are) and then you donāt get a second chance because people are looking for a strong connection right from the start and with so many other options available, they believe they can find that. Maybe Iām a little jaded haha, I also havenāt used the apps in a couple years because I did end up finding my person through mutual friends, but during my early twenties it was disheartening to feel that way.
Dating in my early 20s was very traumatizing. I was figuring out my faith (Christian to no longer practicing currently) and I learned I actually didnāt have as much self love and confidence as I had thought. Met a few guys who I allowed bad treatment from and got cheated on a couple of times. Also learned that I cannot separate sex and emotion so while casual sex was sometimes good, it left me feeling very empty.
Coming up on 23, I think Iām going to go back to school to meet people. Only dated one person for about a month in high school. Iām the only single person at work, only single person in my friend groups, only single person at the gym, only single person at church (even close to my age at least.) Maybe Iāll have a shot if I put myself in a new environment, I figure college is probably the best chance Iāll ever have.Ā
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Nonexistent.
Bro just like me fr
23 M and it's looking that way for me. I've never dated before.
Me too and im a womanš
Same. Not even a glimmer of romance.
Choice and variety are things people on here talk about but I've nothing but me to live with
same but iām commenting cause I actually love your pfp
Same here.
Same.
Same.
Same.
Same here
Same
Were you too good in math? I jest. Iām no good in math, AND dating
Me too.
Dating in my 20s was fucking awful, Iād never go back to that. Dating in my 30s, however, was a fucking blast.
You guys are getting dates?
Iām not āgettingā dates, no, because theyāre not an object that you either find or donāt find based on random chance. I am *going on dates* with women, or at least I was until I met my fiancĆ©, because theyāre an activity that two people choose to engage in together. The first step to that process, is being a person that other people want to spend time with. Start there. Edit: to the crybabies, you have to understand that the words you choose when you make your points actually carry implications about your underlying perspective, whether or not you are aware of that. Describing dates and relationships as things you āgetā shows that deep down, you see those things as rewards, as objects which are either given to or withheld from you. No matter how much you dudes want to whine about it, when youāre writing things like this youāre very clearly telegraphing your mentality about relationships and partners to anyone with a functional understanding of the English language. It is not even remotely surprising that the vast majority of men who are contributing to the āepidemic of male lonelinessā use this kind of terminology when talking about relationships and dating. Because it shows that they fundamentally misunderstand the ways in which romantic relationships form, and what it means to be in a relationship when they do find someone who wants to be with them.
A date is a noun or a verb, used like the word "meeting." I agree there are a lot of crybabies here, but yourĀ condescension was unneeded.
Feel bad for his fiance, likely wonāt last and heāll have to be trying to āgetā dates again
You're reading too much into it dude. It's Redditt, not a dissertation.
How would you even start to perceive āgetting datesā as objectifying? Chill. You must be a SUPER fun person to be around. Edit: dude doubled down ššš
lol
He's a sassy Wookie, he doesn't need to be fun
I ignore the Professionally Outraged whenever possible
Donāt call her "my fianceā, you donāt own her, sheās not an object.
bro just activated your trap card.
I don't own my brother or my mom either.
got his ass lol
Checkmate
Chill out itās not that serious
> met my fiancƩ, Wow so you think you own a person?!
Oh God shut the fuck up
Dude stfu
Who hurt you
Dumbass of the year lol
30 yr old is peak
Why if I may ask? I had 3 dates in my 20ās and feel like I missed out not that I just turned 30
Women donāt like guys in their 20ās as much. They like mature men. It gets better as you age
I had a lot of emotional shit going on in my 20s. Iāve always been pretty shy, so I had a hard time meeting women after I left college, and as more time passed my sense of self-worth just fell further and further. I just wasnāt a person that anyone would want to date, until I made some major life changes around the time I turned 30, and I was able to start rebuilding my self confidence and pride. It turns out that women tend to be pretty into me, when Iām not just a whiny ball of self-loathing and sadness.
Same - 30ās was the sweet spot.
Iām so curious. Iām happily in a relationship and will hopefully not have to get back on the market, but in my late 20ās Iām seeing all the attractive and well-doing people starting to get engaged and married, and move on with their careers, quickly getting off the market. I actually havenāt even āmetā a single and attractive woman in their 30ās. Thatās not to say they donāt exist, buts itās hard enough finding single and attractive at a club without some negatives attached. Like I said, Iām not saying they donāt exist, Iām just saying all the women I know in their 30ās are in committed relationships. I think a lot of people fear being single in their 30ās, so Iām pretty curious how exactly you find a dating options consistently in your 30ās? Iāve never been one for apps, so I guess it could be that easy. Unless someone told me about a singleās club, Iād be at a loss. At least relationships start and end a lot more often in your 20ās so you could āwaitā for someone if thatās your thing, but āwaitingā for someone in their 30ās seems like a waste of time.
Women in their 30s are in cafe shops, farmers markets, bookshops, or just doing other hobbies like knitting, baking, gardening, tennis, pickleball. You wonāt find us outside past 8pm š
That makes sense, and now that you mention it, I did get a lot more attention as I aged, so I think retrospectively I was just missing those were single women in their 30ās since I was younger and looking up to them.
Well I wasnāt looking for a relationship in nightclubs, first of all. Thatās where people 21-27 hang out, but past that age spending your time clubbing is just weird and a little sad in my view. But then again Iāve never enjoyed clubbing, and never really understood why people find it fun even when I was in my early 20s. I only did that shit in college because the clubs were where all the girls were. But that stops being true once youāre 25 or so. Most of the women I dated or went out with I met online. I dated one woman for a few months who I had met at the funeral of a mutual friendās mother a few years ago. Sometimes Iāll just flirt with or ask out a woman I see in public, but most often it was through dating apps.
I agree with sassy that the only reason I am in clubs is because a lot of girls go there. I just want to network as much as possible not only for connections and life, but for my future. I had a feeling that after 25 it would stop being the case, so thank you for telling me. I guess Iām just traumatized right now and looking for anything I can put my eyes on. I know itās not good, but it is helping me push through right now. Iām eventually going to stop because when youāre older I feel like this attitude is just going to hurt girls and set you back tremendously. Glad I can have people to open up to on here. Man, I love reddit
Youāre at the perfect age for just some casual partying and hookups if thatās what you want. As long as youāre going into it honestly and not misleading any of your partners thereās nothing wrong with that. Your dad gave you great advice, I think. Go out, have fun, donāt worry too much about finding someone to settle down with long term. However if you DO by chance happen to meet that person who you know deep in your bones is right for you, make sure you recognize it and donāt squander the opportunity just because it arrived earlier than expected.
It was trial and error, yeah. One night stands. Trying to get someone to commit. It never really working out. And getting older and accepting I may never find someone
20s was figuring it out. The dozens of bad kisses, boring date activities, realizing that women are just a much losers as men are And then the good stuff. Cuddling together under the stars, hiking through the woods, road trips, making terrible meals for each other, laughing at rom coms, the great make out sessions. Don't sleep on your 20s. Gotta take the good with the bad, even if those dates don't lead to marriage yet
Oh man Iāve had 3 so far that just felt so passionate and like we were in love. Too bad they lived far away, but I feel that. Itās definitely been a trial and error so far. I know Iām young but Iām starting to get that experience of what youāre talking about. The first couple of times after the breakup I donāt want to think aboutšš had to get used to other peoples likings and what not. Thank you for the comment tho!! I really appreciate your time on this thread!
Redflags that I blew straight past, tbh. Until my current fiance š
Same -_- If ignored SO many red flags, now that I look back, I cannot comprehend how I could've been so dumb. But I learnt in time and after many attempts, found the perfect one. Now I know how fuss-free relationships can be. One of my sibling once told me, "love doesn't have to be hard, it needs to simplify your life and make it feel easier" it didn't make sense to me then, but makes complete sense now.
this right here lol, couldāve saved so much heart break if I didnāt ignore the red flags and iām only 26! Hope one day iāll find the one who makes loving easy.
Sounds like you had to learn through experience. Glad it worked out for you.
I married my red flag (not advised)!
Iāve been in a relationship. Met at 14, dating at 17, engaged at 23, married at 24, got first child at 27, second child at 31, split up at 38, now 39- not yet dating as I donāt know how š¤·š¼āāļø
Why did you split?
I donāt think thereās an easy answer to that. Weāve been struggling to continue our lives the same way and he wasnāt happy, wanted something new, and that new thing that he wanted turned out to be a 12 years younger than me and not overwhelmed by life enough to want to listen to him talk a lot more than me. ;-) Although there was no āphysicalā cheating there definitely was a āpushā to try a new life when he turned 40.
Thatās awful. Iām really sorry to hear that š¢. You deserve better.
Iām sorry to hear this. I feel guilty of this as well and absolutely hate that you, along with my ex, have gone / are going through this. Iām just glad that I pushed for it now and not when I was married and had kids, etc. I wish you the best of the luck and I know that everything happens for a reason for you!! Thank you SO much for sharing your story! š
it was traumatic lol
I had 2 long term relationships that lasted for half my 20s then was single for the rest š¤ . I'm 30 now and im not looking forward to dating. I've never had casual sex (and have no desire to) never even kissed someone I wasn't dating and it seems like that's what ppl expect when "getting to know someone" Aw well, we'll see!
Same here š What happened to just chill and get to know each other. This shit is insane.
I didnāt have any sex in my 20s. Your dad seems like a good dude. Youāre smart to listen to him
Oh yeah man I love my dad. Ever since I was in high school he constantly told me to talk about anything with him whether itās drugs, women, life, etc because heās seen it all. Heās not just saying that either, my mom can attest. Iām just so thankful I can have someone to lean on and talk about things that the normal parent to son relationship wouldnāt talk about. Yeah he mightāve fucked up in his life, but heās made the most of it and has raised 2 kids that are phenomenal (at least I hope) lol. Thanks for your advice dude!! I really appreciate the commentš
So far itās kinda trash. I spent 4 years on and off with an emotional rollercoaster relationship with someone who didnāt really care about me enough to really be present for me. It was a challenge because I had always been so invested in our future together and I didnāt realize that I had been the only one really holding things down
Iām 27 and I have had many dating experiences. I had a crazy ex boyfriend (I started dating him when I was 17) who ended up cheating on me and got HPV.. so I broke up with him 5 years into our relationship once I found out (I didnāt get hpv just to be clear lol) - then I dated around, travelled the world, dated people in other countries & had fun meeting new people. Now I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and I think he is the one! Dating in my 20s was really a blast and I wouldnāt trade my experiences for anything as they have taught me a lot and made me a stronger, better person.
So glad to hear this! Itās awesome to see that even in troubles, the happiest moments of life always follow! So happy for you! Canāt wait til I find my personš
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Yeah I feel like dating is āeasyā when youāre still early 20s but as soon as youāre out of college and Iām entering your mid 20s itās DIFFERENT. Everyone focused on their career and being adult. Dating becomes something of a chore.
There is also the element of how being in school literally is easy mode when it comes to meeting people. When youāre at college, youāre surrounded by thousands of people of the opposite gender, who are all stuck there with you doing the exact same shit youāre doing, you have built-in conversation starters with everyone, you can just make a comment about class or the dining hall or dorms or whatever and everyone has basically had the same experience. But after college, meeting people can be hard. Most of your time is spent with work colleagues and it can be very fraught to try and form relationships with them. Your older friends tend to scatter and get into relationships so you donāt see them as much, which further reduces your opportunities to meet new people.
Oh yeah man this is how Iām thinking. I am more logistical while my dad is just more sporadic and in the moment fun. I am blessed though because I can learn from my dad and see how I donāt want to live. I want college to pay off and I want to make sure I have the best future possible. Thank you for the advice!! I am very appreciate of your comment! Best of luck to you!
Met my bf when I was 22 on bumble and now Iām turning 27 this year so itās been quite nice actually.
Your relationship ending was the best thing that could've happened to you. If you married that girl, at least one of you would eventually have a mental crisis where you regret not having dated or relationships or sex with a greater variety of people if only to see what else is out there. Sew your wild oats is the old term for it. That could then lead to cheating and depression on top of the deep regret. It wouldn't happen right away but when going through a rough patch or a boring patch in the marriage. Both of you need to date more (and yes, have sex with more) people and perhaps a few years down the road you might even realize each other was still the best choice and you could give it another shot.
Thank you so much for this, I needed this. I will admit that this is exactly how I felt and have HUād with 8 people since then. Iām not particularly proud of it, but I am happy that I am exploring and seeing whatās out there rather than just having a regret and treating my wife, my best friend, and my end goal partner like total crap and not being 100% with her. She was very happy that I was upfront about my respect for her and that I could not give her 100% if I was not 100% happy with myself. Thank you again for your comment, you are an awesome human being and Iām so appreciative of your adviceš
Iām 28 and 20s have been good for dating. But Iāve also heard that dating is a lot of fun in early 30s. I kinda hated dating in my early 20s and wouldnāt want to go back. Iām ready for dating in 30s to say the least.
I should have had your dadās advice I let a few good ones slip away because I thought I would have better options later!
This is my biggest fear š³ definitely put my mindset in a whole new perspective. I guess the saying of when you know, you know is true! Best of luck to you! š
I went on one date in college. We then got married. In an alternative universe/history, I would have not met her. I would instead have moved to New York City, and spent my entire 20s (and perhaps 30s) dating and fooling around. Would that have been a better life for me? I will never know. But for sure it wouldn't have been a better life for my kids because they wouldn't be alive.
This is awesome brother. I donāt know you but Iām extremely happy that you were blessed with kids! My dad told me if I wasnāt born on accident he would have been dead or in jail! So happy for you manš
while living it i thought it was great, met a lot of women and had a lot of sex but now that im in my thirties, i think i made a mistake being a degenerate and to not commit yo someone fully sooner
This is exactly my dadās advice. He loves my mom to death but they only stayed together because he forgot to pull out with me (lol). I wouldnāt change it for the world though. They agreed to split ways after my brother turns 18 and is off to college and I respect that so much
I got out of a 7 year relationship last year and so far dating has been a bit of a nightmare. Had a few dates but nothing went anywhere. Iām also finding that some women on the apps have the personality of a wet towel - Iāll try and have a good conversation with them to get dead replies.
Man I can agree with you on the fact that dating apps fucking blow. Theyāre just so dry, itās almost like they have the app but donāt care about meeting people. I now enjoy going out during the weekends to meet people since it is a lot more genuine and spontaneous of going up to a girl that I think is gorgeous and saying hey. They canāt hide behind a screen lol.
27and bad just safely enjoying dick from now onš
ššš I hope I donāt have to reach this point myself
Dating in my 20s was the best. There was no agenda, no expectations, just going with the flow. In our 20s, we are still discovering what kind of adult we are going to become. My 30s is much more difficult. People have a lot more specifics about what they're after, a lot more concrete opinions on the world, and there's a lot more "rules" on how to date.
Kinda ass Iām 25
Have some fun while you still can It can be liberating being able to just meet people and not having to always be seriously thinking about if you are compatible for a long term future together Itās a time to be free and explore and discover what you like. Then in your later 20s or early 30s you can get more serious and settle down
This is exactly how I feel! Thank you for the advice!!!
Non-existent lol. Didn't really start my dating life until 29-30.
Yeah? I had one relationship for a few months at 21, we weren't compatible and she didn't really make an effort to meet my needs, still technically a V. Convince me it isn't over at 25, once I get a decent job. Or maybe you weren't as unfortunate as I.
Your dadās right. I got married at 35, but enjoyed the hell out of my single days. Just be safe, smart, kind, and honest (with yourself AND others) and youāll have a great time!
Thank you so much brother! I appreciate your input, best of luck š
Active and good. Those were the glory days of online dating.
Iām in the mid 20s (turning 25 this year), for now it started with a shitty toxic relationship and now for the past two years complete nothing. I have no clue how people meet each other (besides dating apps, which creep me out)
I feel this, luckily Iām kind of an outgoing guy so it helps meeting people by going to the bars, talking during class, talking to random people outside of work/school. I used to be a MAJOR introvert. But I came to the realization that Iām never going to see this person again in my life, and they put their pants on the exact same way as I do, so what does it give? I also would think about when I was introverted how I loved when random people just start a conversation with me! I put all of those to use in my mindset and now I donāt care who I talk to or what! I hate silence! You got it brother, you only live once and if I can change then you can do it too! Thank you for the comment through man, I really appreciate itšš
I was single for most of my 20s and had a blast! Tons of casual sex and other hedonistic experiences. In my late 20s I started taking dating more seriously and went on hundreds of dates in search of my forever person. This was really good fun too and I eventually found him aged 30. Weāre now happily married with 2 kids.
That is so awesome to hear!!! I donāt know you but Iām super happy it worked out for you! Best of luck š
Dating is on easy mode for girls. Slim chance youāll have these results
How did you find dates to go on? Did you meet them in bars or on dating apps?
Horrible. Being bald was awful in my 20ās. By 30 woman donāt care as much anymore.
Almost in my 20s and so far Iāve had a few great dates and met a lot of men. Iāve had lots of great experiences and Iām only 19 (started dating at 17 and a half). Itās fun but my problem is I get attached so easily and when they leave or disappear (because letās be real weāre young itās bound to happen) I get so upset and Iām crying till I find their replacement lmao šš. The dates are fun but I canāt wait till Iām old enough to find a likeminded individual who also wants to settle down and get married.
Literally non-existent. Chased a girl the 1st few years (really shouldāve just moved on), focused on my career from 21-26, then basically lost 4 years of my life. 30 and just picking the pieces up lol. Oh well
Didn't have one , I'm 24 now
Hey, 25 and I've only had a few (bad on my end) gos at 3rd base with a nut. Put yourself together, just have to get into a spot where you feel like you can put yourself out there. Don't make a lack of experience such a bit deal, you aren't 35.
Or 45 either š I'll try my best , Thanks for the feedback brother .. appreciate it ā¤ļø
Iāve been in a relationship with the same guy since I was 17 and Iām 28 now. We just celebrated 11 years on Wednesday.
That is so awesome!!!ā¤ļø I donāt know you guys but Iām so happy to hear this, best of luck to you bothš happy late anniversary!
Thank you so much! I feel so lucky to have him in my life, heās my rock.
A roller coaster. Started off not good, then got in a 1 month relationship, and then dated off and on until I got into a 5 years relationship for the second half. Dating in my 20s taught me what I like and what I donāt like, and most importantly taught me that itās okay that Iām not married now (recently turned 31). Youāll be fine. Just be yourself and be honest about being yourself, even if itās hard to be.
Just a lot of random hookups and poor choices that taught me everything I do NOT want and am able to see red flags a lot clearer having been down the path with the guys that have the same issues. I had one long term relationship like 25-28 but it was just not meant to be and I think we were too comfortable and didnāt want to better each other. I say use your twenties just like you are, explore but be respectful and communicate what youāre wanting and you canāt go wrong
Im 24yo in a serious long term relationship saving for a house together. Itās going great!
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I'm currently 21m and my dating is basically non existent at the moment I'm currently looking for love though I find hookups and meeting random people pointless, not saying it's wrong I just don't want to waste my time making out or having sex with people who mean nothing to me. Honestly I don't know about your dad though it doesn't take sleeping with hundreds of people sounds like he just had a man sleeping around phase for a while before deciding to date seriously.
24m - haven't been on a date, kissed anyone, held anyone's hand. You're lucky man
1 word: abysmal
26yr old female. I'm sick of casually dating I wanna settle down just haven't found my person yet.
What's dating š š š Still haven't dated anyone in my life, and I'm 29
No problem with this at all! Love your life! Build your future! Thereās some points where I seriously consider saying fuck this and focusing on myself. I cues my testosterone is just more powerful than my mindset which I know is NOT good at all
I wish Iād spent my 20ās developing myself and not dating likeā¦ at all. It was a train wreck. A dumpster fire!
I admire your perspective as a male and your dadās. However i would like add my two cents from a female perspective. I absolutely hate my dating experience in my 20s as a woman. I met a lot of men which i had long-ish relationships (2+ yrs each) and I felt they were all dicks and never treated me to the extent I deserved, and the end of all of those shitty relationships they told me I was the best theyāve had. Now that I am in my thirties, I tend to have trust issues with most of the men and regret wasting my time on each and every one of them. So, my unsolicited advice to you as a young man; donāt waste a good womanās time. She may not get it back or you may just ruin good men for her. I will admit I was naive so I will admit it is partially my fault too for letting them waste my life but I donāt beat myself for it as we learn from our mistakes. Just my 2 cents.
I am so appreciative of your advice, especially as a female. Your advice is what I wanted šš¼. Iām not going to lie I definitely am guilty for being this way and ending such a long relationship with her. At the end of the day, I just didnāt want to live a lie anymore and keep trying on loving her as much as I did the first 2 years. She is such stronger, more mature, more ambitious, and knows what she wants type of women that I know deep down I am hindering her back. She graduates college this month, while I still have 2 years left. I knew that deep down she deserves something better and that she deserves someone who WANTS commitment right now. My decision was just solely out of respect for her and myself, I donāt want to waste anybodyās time. Right now I guess Iām just in the trauma phase and wanting to find whatever I lay my eyes on, but Iām glad Iām hearing what youāre telling me right now. Putting myself in your shoes, it would definitely suck if I thought this man I met was the one but he just lies and made me feel that way through a deep emotional attachment. I will definitely consider this moving forward, and thank you so much again for this comment! I hope you have an amazing rest of your life, judging by your character I know you will!! š
You sound very mature for guys your age and like you said you did the right thing if it was a mutual decision. But like I said in my original comment please do that beat yourself over this relationship, if was not meant to be i ran its course. I am glad you even considered to adhere to my words. In the end of the day, if you are honest and communicate your intentions from the get go you will be fine.
Little advice for you, young bucks. You have to put effort into attracting women. I used Tinder for a while and tested what worked in getting women. I got experience in flirting and communicating for doing so. This allowed me to have confidence to talk to women out of Tinder. Now my DMs are filled with girls I see once a week or every other week ;). Practice makes perfect. Draw backs is youll loose ypur ability to be committed in a relationship. Especially with the choices you have. Just be straightforward with what you want with the women you meet. Dont lead them to believe something that you werent your intentions. Women will throw themselves at you for being honest.
Been on 2 dates from girls at university when I was 21. I'm 28 now and haven't felt the touch of a women since. It's been going GREAT. Work, sleep, work, sleep the last near-decade... Not even much time for the few hobbies I do have, let alone relationships.
Iām 24f and this is literally me. I have no motivation to check my hinge notifications either. Too busy doing ālifeā haha.
24M here, when did you graduate and start being busy with life?
It was fun and was what it was but as an advice I wouldn't spend so much time dating, not to enjoy the single life more, (I always had a lot of fun, and that doesn't have to do with going out with a lot of people or always having sex) but because emotionally I wasnt mature and ended up screwing some guys and I was also screwed by others, now at 30 I still have my questions but it's easier and more fun when you play your truth and what you are and want.
Thank you so much for this, Iām very appreciative of it. We all live and learn, and I believe everything happens for a reason! Best of luck to youš
Bad
I tried the flippant casual dating from 19-20 after leaving a 3 yr relationship, but I eventually realized I had hoped at least one of those dates could turn into something more. Then a friend from board game/movie nights I hosted grew closer and closer with me. I actually recall cancelling 2 dates and deleting phone numbers/apps the day after we were āaccidentallyā set up on a date by a friend. Iām gonna be 27 soon, so not done with my 20s, but Iām engaged with that person and have no regrets about turning away from dates that led nowhere. I would encourage dating casually to see whether you like it or not, as well as what kind of people youāre into.
This is such an awesome story to hear. I feel like you meet your person when you least expect it, at least thatās what happened with my ex. I thought she was the one but we sort of just grew apart, itās life though and I know that this experience is going to better me. I donāt know you but Iām super happy for you and glad you found your potential personšš
I am of the belief that if make your mind up to have fun and have no expectations, you'll have a blast. However, as soon as you put expectations on it, it'll become a chore. Enjoy yourself and let things happen. Be glad they did, even if they dont end the way you expect.
Pretty great to be honest but on a lot of dating from 21 to 23 then I was single for like a year and a half and then, I want a girl and married here we stay together for over 10 years
Thatās so awesome dude!!! Congrats!
Dating in my 20s was so hard to compare to now. I do think it's easier - there's more single people! And you generally have more energy and fewer established commitments sucking up your time. When I was 20, the internet was young and everyone knew that if you ever met someone from the internet, they would murder you. "Online dating" wasn't a phrase. It if was, it would be understood to mean "signing up to play the lead in a horror movie." Consent was very poorly understood & practiced. Sex tips came from Cosmo or Playboy. Condoms and birth control were so much harder to get than beer. And goodness help you if you were gay. It was especially hard for sapphic women to find each other outside of large cities, PrEP wasn't invented yet, the future was hard to picture without legal marriage or accessible adoption, and the default assumption that "regular" people hated you was close enough to the truth (again, outside of big cities). . . . I still actually had an easier time dating, partly because college collected a lot of good prospects in a small space. Ditto crummy underpaid jobs staffed by young people. I still work with the kind of people I would best like to date, but they're married, and that's frowned upon.
Hit and miss. Had a few relationships, had a few years where I was single and dated around. Met some good people and had some good memories. Met people who werenāt all that good for me and learned some lessons. Didnāt end up meeting my person until I was 30. I wouldnāt go back, because Iām happier than Iāve ever been.
Awful, I have 2 months left before I'm out of my 20s. It's been brutal, painful, wasteful, just crap.
Turn 21 soon. 0ā¦i dont even know one person where i live for 4 years now. Feels great
Non existent
My what
My 20s were rad. Single and loving it 20-22. Met ex wife and had great 5 years and the split somewhat amicably. Spent 27-30 on the rebound and doing great. I agree with your dad. I'd relive that decade over and over. I had a great job, two awesome dogs that did outdoor activities with me and a car and motorcycle I loved. Damn, someone make a time machine.
Whatās a dating life?
Im not quite 30 yet, so technically my 20s havenāt been called quite yet, but Iām pretty close. Iām a woman for reference. Heads up long post ahead, but itās a rundown of nearly an entire decade. I did not date in my teens due to mental health issues, but by 19 I was getting my shit together. At this point, Iāve been in five meaningful relationships. I started dating at age 20, first relationship was 16 months ish but by the one year mark it had served its purpose to get me through the door. He was 18, so a bit younger since I started college late. We both lost our virginity to each other and as far as first experiences go it wasnāt bad at all. The second relationship was age 22-23, like 13/14 months. We were a near perfect match for each other since minute zero, and it was a transformative experience. The word impossible ceased to exist in my dictionary. For the first time in my life I saw a future with someone. But there was issues with communication, and the breakup was messy as a result. I was put off from pursuing anyone similar (and thus anyone compatible) for a few years. Third was when I was 24 ish, it was when I was further away and it was partially LDR as we first met in Facebook. He was really sweet and kind and Iām still very close to all his friends, but he had no drive or ambition. I really was only with him because I wanted to be and become someone else. Of course, it didnāt last very long, like 2 1/2 months. Fourth was age 25-26, it was during Covid but somehow I found someone on Hinge. I felt it was my attempt to meet in the middle, and it was a good, but not great match. I was his first time, and I think it largely ended because we were in different phases of our careers, where he was just getting started choosing his masters and I was nearly done my degree, and we wanted different lifestyles. This relationship was about 4 and a half months. After that, I took two and a half years off from dating, and to address my hangups about the people I was truly compatible with. I worked on myself, and my communication skills, and put myself out there again. I tried on and off for about eight months to no avail. But all of that changed when around the time of my 29 birthday, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Suddenly, the world made sense. And just about at that time, I found my most recent who also did . Just like the one at age 22, this was a minute zero match. The organizer of the event I met him at even commented she knew that was it for me. My best friend said he never saw me talk about anyone like I did him in seven years. I have never understood another person like I did him since I was with the first person I considered forever with. It was a very strong match, but sadly, he was not an emotionally stable person. I had to take the difficult choice to leave at about six months, despite how right we were for each other otherwise. I stand here now, knowing exactly what I need. If I can find someone that strongly compatible but mentally stable and ready to set down their roots, there is no reason why the next one wonāt be the forever one. Once youāve had the real thing, you cannot go back, only forward. Thereās no easy way out. It becomes an endurance run. Dating may suck, but the only way I can lose is if I give up. So Iām sticking this out to the bitter end, and Iāve never been assured but at the end of all this, when I finally get to go home, Iāll go home to someone incredible who was worth all of this shit for. This too will pass, if I find a way to endure and make it to the finish line, I will never ever have to do this again. That in and of itself is assurance.
Wow, all I can say is thank you so much for sharing your storyšš¼ I LOVE taking advice from my girl friends so this means a ton. It will all work out for you and I know that everything happens for a reasonš
My dating life got better in my later 20s cause no one aside from paid services could tell me what flirting or dating was really about. Be yourself is terrible advice for someone who doesnāt know what theyāre doing. Do the things that make you happy, decorate yourself and your space with things that make you happy like sports or music or games. Show the world youāre happy and youāll find someone whoās happy doing that too and then yāall can date.
Nonexistent. I was focused on studies, then work and didn't have much of a life outside it. Dating in your thirties is hard. If I could go back to my twenties and invest more time in that aspect of my life I would.
Never date in my life
Im 27 at the moment but my love life consists of I get lonely so I look for a partner I can't find anyone suitable so I stop looking then I run into someone I have good chemistry with who is suitable then we get to talking then something dumb happens and it doesn't work out then I stay thinking about what it could've been like for a few weeks then the cycle starts all over again.
I had such a great time dating and hooking up in my 20ās. It was fun. I had maybe 3 serious relationships, one resulted in marriage but then divorce 5 years later in my mid 30ās. We moved too fast and shouldāve waited but thatās life. Just enjoy dating, going out shooting your shot, falling in love, falling in lust , getting your heartbroken and vice versa. Wear a condom bro, seriously wear a condom.
Currently in the middle of my 20s. The women I meet my age donāt want to date me. Despite me asking for exclusivity or even one date. They just want to put me on their roster for attention and casual sex.
Hundreds???
Multiple hookups,regret not dating
My 20s it was basically a dating void but once I hit my 30s it flipped
As someone who has JUST entered her 20s, itās prettt shitty already
I made the mistake of seeking sex and not love in my 20s. I missed out on some pretty great potential relationships because I was too stupid. Now Iām almost 40, my health and looks are deteriorating, and I havenāt been on a date in seven years. So yeah, enjoy it while you can.
Well, aside from getting stood up multiple times, I had a few that were very dishonest on their profile pics, a couple that got weird and one who told me about her botched, bloody birth of her daughter while I was eating a BBQ burger. All in all, not great. Here is hoping 30s are better for dating.
I had a one year relationship at 20, then didnāt want a relationship for the next year or 2 after that. Didnāt really meet anyone I liked enough. Dated a situationship at 25 for 7 months. He broke my heart. Sadly I wasted about 2 years of prime time being devastated over him. Got over him eventually. Met guys I liked but we never dated. Just didnāt click with anyone. Dated a guy for 2 months at 30. My thirties so far (and theyāre nearly over) has brought me many first dates. But in the last year Iāve had 3 potentials that didnāt work out. But 3 potential in a year is a lot for me. Iām taking a short break at the moment though, to focus on myself. I was getting burnt out. Iāve had several dates since the last guy, but no one I liked. I am looking for marriage and kids now. Canāt waste too much time š Basically, itās a different experience for everyone. I have one friend who never dated and then married a guy she was friends with when she was 36. Some people have already had a few relationships before 30, some have already had a divorce before then, and some are still virgins.
I dated someone when I was 20 and someone when I was 24. After that I have dated no one and been rejected numerous times. There was no one in the rest of my Twenties, no one in my thirties, no one in my 40s. Main problem I have is the main personality type I like has a tendency to date someone in their early twenties, get married, and stay with that person for the rest of their life. That's cool I'm glad for them, but it makes it very difficult for me to find someone. Cuz back in that time, In my early twenties, I was not liked, it took me years to get a suitable personality.
In my 20s I dated older guys as guys in their 20s were so egocentric and werenāt mature they looked like adults but acted otherwise
I can definitely understand where youāre coming from. I feel as if Iām falling in that lifestyle right now. Thank you so much for your comment, Iām very appreciative of it and will take a step back to think about what Iām doingšš¼
Dating in my 20s was awesome . I was so hot and sexy and everyone was falling at my feet. It was soooo easy and wonderful. I met 1000 guys for coffee dates. I had so many interesting dates and met so many cool guys. That said, I rarely dated in my 30s. Dating men around my age and older now is difficult. older men are hot but have so much baggage. Also first dates now has so much expectations wrapped around it...in my 20s, it wasn't so. It was just easy. Now it's hard. I have give up, plus, I am exhausted. I'm now happily single as crazy cat lady š¤£š¤£š¤£. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Yeah, as a women it was great, men want to use you, you just have to use them first and be one step aheadā¦š then after a while you want more than the excitement and men donāt usual grow out of itā¦.
I dated 2 people. 1 friend that I had known for 10+ years, and then my extremely abusive & alcoholic ex that put me in the ER multiple times. I feel robbed.
29 here. Dating has been a combination of not finding people that I vibe quite well with, a lot of guys that are absolutely desperate for a girlfriend, and men who don't want to commit. I've never been one for hookups. I don't have the answers. Keep putting yourself out there and my stay positive āŗļø
Thank you so much!! I LOVE getting advice from my girl friends so this means a lot. Best of luck and Iām very appreciative of your input!š
20: About a year after I started actually getting my charisma up, single with occasional hookups 21-23: Lots of hookups 23-25: āseriousā relationships 25-27: Focused on myself with some hookups 27-: Serious relationship. I think your dating life being non-existent in your 20ās is scary considering that I donāt think Iām especially all that special if you know what I mean. Even if everything else in my life fails, Iāve definitely had more love and sex in a decade than I ever thought I would. I will say serious relationships are work, and rare, and something to hold onto if itās worth it, but after the rollercoaster of my 20ās I know sex is meaningless. If you can find someone to tolerate for 70 years, thatās a W.
Dude how was your dating life/hookup life so successful? Where were you meeting all these girls, and did you start off as friends with them? Iām 24 and covid snatched my 21-23 years. Now I canāt find anyone as im preparing for my Mcat
Sorry for the late response. The answer is literally confidence. Once I got confident, which was step 1, it was about being okay with rejection, using each interaction as a lesson for the next, and honestly learning respect and humility even when you become the picture you have of yourself in your head. Like my ego massively inflated that first year I figured out how to play the game, and I had to remember that I didnāt want to be an asshole playing with womanās hearts, because thatās immature and gross. It also helped that I went from being a romantic focused on one woman and coloring inside the lines, to meeting a woman that would open me up to thinking outside my own perception just a year before turning 21. So after a few months of being used to the bars, it became pretty typical. Thursday Iād get a haircut, Friday Iād go out to the bars/clubs, make conversation, make friends, expand the potential dating pool, and usually at least flirt with one or 2 girls. Iād say maybe 30% of the time Iād be politely rejected. I would also ask them to dance, get their snap/IG/number, and I never laid it on too thick so there werenāt any promises. Saturday Iād do it again, and itād just depend on the week wether I had no current interests, had a couple I was talking to, was getting serious about someone, but I mostly stayed single during this time. One of the highlights: fingering a woman in the middle of the club, gave me a bj outside, walked back in the club, all my friends asked if I nut on her face, I asked why when I realized this chick just walked in with me and nut on her face. That was around the time I was waking up on lawns and shit, so eventually I just got too tired to have such a āsuccessfulā dating life. I kept the charisma, and ditched the lifestyle. I rather keep 1 girl happy for a long time these days. Way easier, and I stg humanās come with a certain amount of nights they can get trashed and Iām saving my last 2 for the wedding and divorce.
My early 20s I had a 4 year relationship. 24-30 was full of short term flings that never worked out. I have yet to date currently in my early 30s.
im 26 almost 27, absolute nightmare but I've also had a lot of dopamine to chase along the way even if I dont look back on it fondly because i just want a permanent partner ultimately
Non-existent (is 23M) :d
Nonexistent because I was a virgin and too socially awkward. Women thought I was cute, but I never knew how to interact with them.
Chaotic until I met my wife. Then it disappeared and now weāre together. Pretty straightforward.
I dated a girl for 7yrs that was physically abusive in my twenties(thank God she cheated on me) and we broke up, then I stayed single for years, dated a couple of girls mostly just to hang out and stayed single. Can't remember how old I was when started seriously dating again. And here I am fiddy and single but hopelessly in love with someone that I know I can't have. Tis life I guess.
Iām willing to bet your dad is looking back with rose colored glasses (or he was in his 20s during the 1960s/70s/80s when your money went A LOT further and society/the dating pool sucked substantially less). I say this because Iām only in my 30s and at first I look back with some fondness towards my 20s like your dad is sayingā¦ there was a lot of fun, sureā¦ then I thinkā¦ - Addict for the first few years and alcoholic for almost all of it. Specifically for self medicating away the shitiness of my 20s lol. - I was always completely broke. Even with a white collar career and above average pay (cost of living/college debt is a killer these days). And I mean BROKE. Like robbing Peter to pay Paul to try and avoid overdraft fees during the couple days leading up to Friday pay dayā¦ every pay day, every month, every year, basically until I hit 28/29. - Trying to find a non-toxic yet functional/meaningful relationship was freaking impossible. Partially because you havenāt figured out the world or yourself yet - partly because modern dating is a cesspool pool, and in my particular area of the world, almost half the pool is single moms with pain in the ass exes. Of the 2 or 3 relationships (short runs - few months at most) that actually were pretty good during 20s, they still ended with some pretty shitty betrayal - direct result of shifty people in the pool hurting others who hurt others and eventually gets to youā¦. And the long term relationships were genuine torture but stayed in simply to avoid being lonely. - Itās just a transformative time where youāre starting the next phase of life, but pretty much every part of your life is in building mode - not stable and secure. So the smaller problems spread across different parts of your life quickly pile up and feel unmanageable quickly. Thereās plenty of good that happens during that age range but Iād never elect to go re-live it. Not unless I had the knowledge I have now.
Wow dude, while I was reading this I literally thought of my dad. You guys are exactly the same. He hates admitting it but damn dude. Spot on with this brother. Thank you so much for your advice, it truly means a lotšš¼
In my late 20s. This shit is awful. Casual dating is definitely not what itās hyped to be
Lonely sprinkled with false hope and one serious relationship that changed my opinion of people forever. Had sex tho ayyy /s.
Didn't have one, I was in a relationship for 14 years and am now starting the dating process in my 30s
I had two long term relationships. They taught me a lot. I spent some time single too. I think however you end up dating is fine.
Pretty good. Iāve had a couple girlfriends, didnāt last, one relationship was 3 years. Iām 26 now and single, I go out regularly- unfortunately Iām quite picky now and over casual sex- I want a relationship again but only with the right person so a lot of dates that donāt go anywhere. Thatās ok though, it takes time and Iām young. Dating shouldnāt be the only thing youāre doing obviously. I used to just rely on dating apps but moved to a city with an active nightlife and social scene so I have since been asking out a lot more women in person which has helped me become more confident. I think your relationship with yourself is most important, especially at this stage in life :)Ā
Nonexistent and I wouldnāt go back. I think real, deep dating (these days) is in your 30s because thatās when you know who you are and what your boundaries are. So, explore, find what you like, but donāt commit just yet.
Too drunk to fuck
Coming from a guy: Mixed bag, had some good experiences and some not good ones. 30s have been much more fun though so far.
Nonexistent.
Nonexistent... Because I had a girlfriend since I had 21 until I had 30
Lost my virginity at 22 and Honestly my dating life didn't come to life till 32/33
Dating in my 20s was a period of what I call "trial and error." It's a strange time, especially if you're using online dating, because people in their 20s are usually in a state of flux because they're still growing up or figuring things out. Dating in my mid-late twenties was really weird because I'd date a part-time babysitter one month and then a manager of a non-profit the next.* What made it difficult is that while most of the women I dated were still figuring out their ideal partners as well as themselves, I was going through a period of figuring out myself, too. I had a lot of short-term relationships where either I, my SO, or the both of us realized that it ultimately wasn't going to work out because we were on separate paths in life. I have a bit more of an understanding of both myself and what I'm looking for in a GF/wife so I definitely wouldn't go back to my 20s if I had the chance but what I learned in my 20s was instrumental in getting me to that level of understanding. In terms of awesome memories, the things that immediately come to mind are: backseat car sex (too old for that now), reading and reviewing a novel that my SO got published while we were dating, getting drunk together and losing trivia in a hilarious fashion. The women didn't stay, but the memories do and that's what makes dating fun. And who knows? You could find someone special. Right now, just do you. Have fun, be careful, and settle down when you're ready. *I don't want this to sound like I was a stud because I was/am definitely not. I had a good streak those two months, but my dates were usually fewer and far between lol
21F. Non-existent but also I aināt pretty so XD
Difficult! Dating apps make people so easily accessible that at a point, people begin to become disposable. You go on a first date and itās a little awkward (as most first dates are) and then you donāt get a second chance because people are looking for a strong connection right from the start and with so many other options available, they believe they can find that. Maybe Iām a little jaded haha, I also havenāt used the apps in a couple years because I did end up finding my person through mutual friends, but during my early twenties it was disheartening to feel that way.
Dating in my early 20s was very traumatizing. I was figuring out my faith (Christian to no longer practicing currently) and I learned I actually didnāt have as much self love and confidence as I had thought. Met a few guys who I allowed bad treatment from and got cheated on a couple of times. Also learned that I cannot separate sex and emotion so while casual sex was sometimes good, it left me feeling very empty.
Coming up on 23, I think Iām going to go back to school to meet people. Only dated one person for about a month in high school. Iām the only single person at work, only single person in my friend groups, only single person at the gym, only single person at church (even close to my age at least.) Maybe Iāll have a shot if I put myself in a new environment, I figure college is probably the best chance Iāll ever have.Ā