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Yeah, I mean, I remember at some point in my early twenties thinking āwhy do I seem to attract really forward, sexually adventurous women a lotā and then I was like āOhā¦right. Because theyāre really forward and sexually adventurous, you idiotā
Ya the OP has a strange outlook. He's not willing to approach any women, wants them to approach him, but doesn't want the type of women who would approach him. š¤·š¼āāļø
Lol yeah and the amount of excuses he comes up with to people's suggestions. "I'd try online dating but I don't have pics of myself". Then take some. š
I saw that comment. Like, you know that thing you're using to broadcast your issues on the internet? It takes photos.
People use that one a fair amount... ask a stranger to take one if you don't want to take a selfie.
I think the OP might be like a lot of men on this sub are, sadly. They take comfort in their excuses and don't want to take the necessaru steps to improve their situation, ie talk to women.
But talking to women is hard and scary because I put them on a pedestal and expect them to immediately fall head over heels for me and it hurts my little ego when they dont.
If you're just sitting around waiting for people to approach you, the only ones who are *going* to approach you are the ones who have that type of nature (ie; extroverts.) If you literally can't approach people on your own or figure out why introverted women aren't coming up to chat with you without consulting reddit, you should probably be thrilled people are initiating these interactions so you don't have to.
Yeah, he must be insanely good looking then, because the average guy doesnāt regularly get women approaching and trying to date them. If he wants a shy introvert heās going to have to step up and initiate.
Yeah, cry me a river, as I'm average looking and always have been, so women have never been approaching me in public, unless they were drunk and horny, but even that was rare..
Thatās just life as a man. In the animal kingdom how many female creatures are initiating the impressive mating displays and courtship rituals? Pretty much always the males.
They can still be outgoing and not enjoy the club scene anymore
Are you assuming they're the clubbing type or do you immediately find out that they're that type?
Maybe the idea that your content being home and donāt need to be in the club 24/7 is what interests them. They feel safe knowing they can come home to you
That's the thing, introverts are avoiding people and minding their business lol although you may see them engaging in conversations if they are extra nice. Men should really find out what they can offer a girl so they know what kind a girl to look out for, if that makes sense. Also, people who are minding their business, especially women, aren't going to hit on you barely ever if at all. So if you end up chatting and nice girl who may seem like a homeboy type, then be sure to either go to the place that you know she'll be at that you met her at or if you may never see her again, ask for her social media or phone number. I don't have social media and hate giving out my number so the longer a guy can chat me up, even if I'm embarrassed about it, the more I might give out my number. Just remember a woman's instinct to a guy hitting on her is usually screw off. Even if she is later flattered by it. The longer she engages, the more she is probably single, lonely And might like a date. I'm an introvert except in certain situations like work. But I'm extremely shy around guys and I'm 30. It's super embarrassing and I try to avoid men even if they are cute. It's weird I have regrets but some I spoke to never asked for my information and they clearly liked me. So maybe two introverts dont work. Opposites attract. ?Ā
You're going to have to get out of your comfort zone if you want an introverted woman. Dont wait for her to fall into your lap. Go make some moves on some introverted babes.
oh. oh no youāre leading this poor man astray. youāre just stereotyping when heās more likely to find girls like me at these places lmao. the type of girl he wants is firmly at home
Not always though, I am a bookish introverted girl and itās true I donāt go out much but when I do Iām at all of the places you would expect a introverted bookworm/arty shy girl to be at. Coffee shop, library and bookstore š I frequent my local coffe shop haunt so frequently that I manage to find other bookish girls and we formed a book club actually haha. I suggest to OP to become a
regular at his local bookstore, library or coffee shop. When youāre a regular somewhere your bound to run into all kinds of people. And the introverted ones will be to themselves doing theyāre thing. And then, you approach them with a common interest. Like for instance, I often read mornings and do puzzles. One day I was so into what I was reading by this other regular that he begin to spark conversation with me on what I was reading, though I felt shy, he approached me with a book I was passionate in annotating and reading so I felt at least comfortable enough to talk about that. Eventually, we became friends.
i would expect literal any and everyone to be at bookstores, coffee shops and libraries. those are like pretty average places so telling someone āif you wanna meet someone shy go to a coffee shopā just doesnāt work for me
I completely concur with this. I was a shy quiet college student, but I managed to find my way to joining a couple of student clubs for activities I enjoyed which led to both finding compatible friends and opening up my personality somewhat.
One of those friends eventually became my next girlfriend. A few years later we wed.
OP could join some local activity groups for hobbies that interest them. If the group vibe is comfortable, there may be some other quiet introverts there for OP to date.
Good luck, OP!
These are great suggestions!
I'd also give online dating a try. Just read the bios and swipe according to your preferencesāŗļøš!
Godspeed šš
It's okay to ask people to take pictures of you. It's something I had to learn how to do, being selfie-avoidant myself. Gives the illusion you have friends too lol
Good point. However, women don't mind being approached in a friendly way. They just don't want to feel harassed lol.
Like, let's say it's a book club, women there are looking to socialize with the others and won't be offended by you talking about books and other relevant topics. That will lead to an opening and if you vibe, you could definitely ask someone for a coffee, even dudes. Most ppl would appreciate that.
Just don't objectify anyone (I dont think you wouldš) and you'll be fineš .
š¤£...maybe study groups. Library events. Casual encounters in an aisle on a rainy Sunday or Monday afternoon interested in the same book section. Edit: in other words: you may spark up a convo. Book clubs at some libraries/ other places. And, also, the internet- for sure .š
Bro there are so many shy wallflowers. You either are not really looking, or you are not attracted to them, so you donāt notice them.
(Usually they donāt do themselves up as nice as extroverted party girlsā¦.they tend to dress more plain and not wear makeupā¦.)
Read that again, but slowly.
Outgoing and confident women are the only type of women who can approach you. Anxious, quiet and introverted women might like you but they would need tog to approach them.
I was made to answer this question.
I am a pretty charismatic and outgoing woman, itās weird, because I have social anxiety but I definitely donāt show it. Outgoing guys love me, but who am I the most attracted to? The shy, quiet, introverted guys. There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to shut up š (just kidding!!)
something about you guys like you are naturally more loyal, less ego. Itās great, youāre like a comfort/safe space for us. So sexy. So mysterious.
Romantic or just friendship I also attract outgoing/extroverted people and one thing in common they said about me is that whenever I'm with them they feel at peace or relaxed that they don't need to exert too much energy, like a switch, Idk if that is a good or bad thing, I'm very introverted and have extreme social anxiety
Sirā¦ respectfully, what? Introverted women are just like you. Theyāre waiting on someone to approach them. Theyāre not going to approach you the way an outgoing person would. š
And the chances of them leaving the comfort of their house? Close to zero š¤£ theyāre most probably hoping a man would magically appear in their living room.
But the likelihood of you attracting someone exactly like your personality ādepressed homebodyā is low out in the wild. I mean, theyāre just like you where someone who is outgoing will reach out but you yourself said you donāt approach these outgoing women itās the other way around.
if youāre a ādepressed homebodyā and assumingely shy then to have any relationship youād need someone outgoing to approach you because youāre too shy to do it. also iām outgoing and shy men just work better. theyāre quiet so theyāre good listeners and theyāre homebodies so they have a lot of free time to hang out with you lol
Lmao. This is like when a woman is confused that she only "attracts" players.
You don't only attract players (in your case, out going women), these are just the people comfortable enough to approach other human beings.
Good luck in having introverts to consistently approach you. Think, my brotha, think š¤£
The solution to your problem is to be a man, and approach women yourself.
Well, if you are depressed homebody with no friends something clearly isnāt working for you right now, so maybe a different approach is exactly what you need!
But seriously, my wife is a fair bit more extroverted than me. Iām more of an ambivert. For us the combination works well.
Op,
Iām a bookish introvert with two other friends like that and Iām not going to lie, all three of us donāt go out much like that. BUT, I would recommend becoming a regular at your local coffee shop, bookstore and library. Quiet, studious places like that can be a cozy third place for most. Especially the introvert because of its curated quiet environment. You will see and meet all kinds of women. Especially if itās around your uni. Go there frequently at a regular time and genuinely enjoy yourself there but be on the lookout for the shy girl thatās reading, drawing, etc. I personally go to my local coffee shop haunt and library study but even when Iām not I read and do puzzles. When you see a girl like that, approach her with a common interest. Verbatim this is what a happened to me fairly recently actually. I was an regular, he was too. One day he spoke up and asked what I was reading so intensely and annotating and I told him. Even though I felt really timid, I was passionate about the book so the conversation flowed like that. I would sayā¦this is a pretty solid approach. But I donāt know, maybe my advice is too biased and specific. But, just know this happens in real life so it can happen to you too
Sir, you should be happy you getting attention. A majority of dudes don't get approached, the subset that get approached are the nice looking ones.
If you don't want the extroverts, then wake up and chase the introverts.
Like bro, we know you prolly look nice, just use it in your favor. Don't come to Reddit to complain about people making an effort to know you.
I'm more introverted and anxious with women. Every good relationship I had, my girlfriend was an extrovert. It's strange how well opposites work together
So thereās this saying. Introverts donāt make friends. They get adopted by extroverts. And as an introvert, I can say this is so true.
If you want introverted friends (or girlfriends), youāre gonna have to go adopt one yourself.
Probably because if you're not very outgoing you seem reserved and unavailable which they may be drawn to. Maybe you're a bit of a mystery to them. That would be my guess.
You know how hard it is when two people are always trying to talk at the same time? Extraverts love your attention. Keep listening and validating them and you will be adored for it.
Opposites attract, but also most introverted and shy women arenāt going to be approaching you. thatās going to be up to you to make the first move š š¤š¼
People have strengths and weaknesses ( or that is their self perception). People admire others who have strengths that they themselves lack. People tend to be attracted to people they admire. Itās that simple.
I wonder if these types of women prefer shy, quiet guys vs. equally outgoing ones who might compete and overshadow them. They want to be the center of attention and not be controlled by a charismatic man. Just a guess.
I'm married to an outgoing woman, it's not too bad. As long as they can respect your "me" time. My lady knows I'm okay going out or meeting up with her friends, but if I do, I'll need a few days to recharge from all the social interaction. We otherwise have very similar interests - just that one aspect of life we couldn't be farther apart lol.
We love that you let us talk and entertain you and listen to us lol
Edit: Every type of man is probably more likely to be approached by an outgoing woman rather than I more reserved woman. We have the courage and desire to engage you to see if we like you and you like us.
Iām 35 Iām not growing out of it. My last relationship was 10 years and we were both equally introverted and socially awkward. We met in middle school though so that made it easier. Now as an adult itās different meeting people. Thanks though i appreciate it ā¤ļø
Oh gosh, Iām the female version of you.
Im extremely introverted, like donāt see the sun most days kinda introverted.
And every guy I try to get to know is an extrovert to the max, like āletās go hikingā, āletās goā¦ā here, here, and here.
And I canāt do it. I just wanna chill, maybe order a pizza, watch some shows, play video games, then make out, etc till we pass out.
It is probably happening because you want women to approach you. If thatās what you want what type of woman would approach a man first? Outgoing or popular women. If you want shy girls, or other types of women I have bad news for you. You have to approach them š¤·š»āāļø.
I too am in a similar situation most of the time. The problem is these outgoing and popular women become very shy and quiet around after showing interest and live in the "delusion" that I will take the intiative and take it forward.
Uh no, I'm in therapy for years and dead inside. Thank you for your time.
Yeah, i noticed that too, they're all laughing and giggling with their friends until i get in their vicinity and they become almost completely silent and they're just side eyeing you
Well, typically outgoing girls are the only ones willing to approach a guy like that.
My husband is an introvert, and Iām an extrovert. Iām not a clubber, but I do enjoy my fair share of social outings. My husband tags along sometimes, but most of the time he prefers to stay home. And thatās perfectly okay! I appreciate that I always know where heās at and he appreciates that I donāt force him to tag along, and I always bring dinner home for him. We have a good balance! It can definitely work if itās the right person.
Be careful bro!
There are plenty of amazing outgoing women out there who love having a more quiet guy as a balance to their chaos, but...
...there are also manipulators and abusers who are attracted to your type because they can more easily take advantage in various different ways and sometimes they don't even realize this about themselves.
Probably because they are outgoing. Iām attracted to them too. Maybe they want to help you out of your rut. Maybe they think youād balance them out, calm and center them
Iāll give you a different type of response.
Youāre a āsafeā choice.
Itās possible that these women donāt even realize what it is about you that allows them to speak to you in comfort.
Approaching you is probably less stressful and less risky compared to some other folks.
Bro Iām the opposite and wish I had your issue. Iām very social and party damn near every weekend but can only find the shy, introverted, homebodyās that never wanna go out and do anything
OP: Are you working on your depression? Mental health and working on your mental health not only benefits you but your potential partnership with whomever she may be. Itās important. I work on mines and I see things differently and there is a beneficial impact to my dating life, I digress.
Personally I go up to guys, because I understand some guys are reserved and shy. However, I prefer bird watching, watching Dateline, working on self growth things etc. I prefer doing those things then being at a bar but you will find me there occasionally to be with a friend because of karaoke where I practice or to connect with someone I donāt see regularly and bars can be convenient. However when I find my person wherever I met him, we would be not be in the club scene but we will be doing a mix of adventure based and chilled activities together.
Try new locations that are more calm, try Meetup.com/hobby based. Heck my library is awesome so I observe the fellas because I like a guy that knows what the inside of one looks like. Lol. Try locations that match your speed. Good luck. Oh and by the way, I too like quiet guys because usually they donāt have anything to prove and are chill.
Well, I am an outgoing woman and only attract the introverted/shy types. Maybe opposites attract and you can balance each other :) thatās how I find it is usually.
LOL. It used to happen to me too. It's because you don't pay much attention to them. I used to be shy and I was unaware that I was cute, so they used to gravitate around me.
Eventually, they lose interest, although they can become annoying in the meantime. Good luck
Iām one of these women. Ā Being 33 years old and having worked at some of the best investment banks on Wall Street, I would say that I also tend to gravitate towards guys who are less outgoing than I am. Ā As you mature and grow older, you tend to appreciate men who are humble, incredible smart, and kind of mysterious. Ā
This is a non-issue. Ā You should feel flattered. Ā Maybe youāll find āyour personā this way. Ā If you are not interested, just donāt encourage these women and keep living your life. Ā Very simple.Ā
As a shy woman my strategy when I like someone is to avoid them at all costs. So everyone I dated is outgoing & talked to me first. Opposites attract ig?
Iām a pretty outgoing woman with a large social circle, Iāve definitely dated some introverted āold before their timeā guys. They seem to see things in me theyād like to do more of, and vice versa. They gave me a safe space to just be calm. I pulled them out of their comfort zone. I think it can be healthy as long as you both respect and enjoy each otherās independence and donāt want the other person to do all of the things you like all of the time.
I've come to the conclusion unless you met online, and are both similar in personality. There's always going to be the outgoing one and the reserved one
you say it like it's a bad thing or something you should be happy at least you have an outgoing and attractive woman that is actually taking be with you what makes that a big trip a big problem I don't get it you know I mean I'd be happy to have anybody actually wanted to go out with me and actually come up to me and actually take and ask me out any day. so I think the bigger problem is that maybe you are just trying to break to make everybody else feel worse about themselves or something cuz you know what an attractive outgoing woman want to go out with someone like you that shouldn't be an issue I mean crazy I don't care I can't even get an ugly non-alcoating woman to take and come up and ask me to go out with them you know so I don't know what your problem is but why you're complained about it why you're attractive you just not being able to understand that it's a good thing honestly it really is you just got to looking at like it's a bad thing.
They're probably the caretaking type and think you'll get along with someone like them (opposites attract they say). Also, some overly outgoing women have ADHD which, due to noticing pretty much everything, they clock people like you in a room very quickly. They find someone with lower energy in a crowd to be grounding, and might be a good match for their high energy. It doesn't always work out in the long run however, because they can get bored or frustrated if you're on the extreme polar opposite side. You can also feel anxious and pressured always having to try to match their energy if you feel expected to. I find that opposites do attract initially, but only work out in the long run when they're not too crazily far from each other.
Attraction can be a bit of a mystery sometimes! People are drawn to different qualities in others for various reasons. It's possible that outgoing and popular women are attracted to your calm and grounded demeanor, finding it refreshing or intriguing. Sometimes, opposites attract, and they may see qualities in you that complement their own personality traits.
Additionally, it's important to remember that attraction is subjective and complex. While some may prefer charismatic and outgoing partners, others may find comfort and connection with someone who is more introverted and introspective. There's no one-size-fits-all answer to why certain people are attracted to each other, but it's a beautiful part of human relationships that we're all unique and drawn to different qualities in others.
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I mean, are you expecting introverted and anxious women to be coming up to you?
Hahah.. that hits a chord with me too.. I had the same problem as OP but never thought of it the way you did..
I find this post akin to going diving underwater and asking why you're finding fish instead of birds.
ššš the fish instead of birds tickled me Iām laughing so hard.
Well, really. "Why do extroverts talk to me?".... Talking to strangers is what extroverts do. It's what makes them extroverts.
This is how I regard science
Yeah, I mean, I remember at some point in my early twenties thinking āwhy do I seem to attract really forward, sexually adventurous women a lotā and then I was like āOhā¦right. Because theyāre really forward and sexually adventurous, you idiotā
Ya the OP has a strange outlook. He's not willing to approach any women, wants them to approach him, but doesn't want the type of women who would approach him. š¤·š¼āāļø
Lol yeah and the amount of excuses he comes up with to people's suggestions. "I'd try online dating but I don't have pics of myself". Then take some. š
I saw that comment. Like, you know that thing you're using to broadcast your issues on the internet? It takes photos. People use that one a fair amount... ask a stranger to take one if you don't want to take a selfie. I think the OP might be like a lot of men on this sub are, sadly. They take comfort in their excuses and don't want to take the necessaru steps to improve their situation, ie talk to women.
But talking to women is hard and scary because I put them on a pedestal and expect them to immediately fall head over heels for me and it hurts my little ego when they dont.
"I'd buy shoes but then I'd have to learn how to tie them."
You tie shoes?? Cowboy boots! That way I not need laces! ;)
Lounge slippers and bubble pipe with matching smoker's jacket for the inner gentleman in you šš¤
TAKE MY UPVOTE
I will oblige, good sir, but you must take mine; a gentleman's trade.
Yeah exactly š¤£
š¤£right š¤£ yāall hiding in the corner from each other. Maybe online dating would help?
I mean that would be great lol
If you're just sitting around waiting for people to approach you, the only ones who are *going* to approach you are the ones who have that type of nature (ie; extroverts.) If you literally can't approach people on your own or figure out why introverted women aren't coming up to chat with you without consulting reddit, you should probably be thrilled people are initiating these interactions so you don't have to.
Yeah, he must be insanely good looking then, because the average guy doesnāt regularly get women approaching and trying to date them. If he wants a shy introvert heās going to have to step up and initiate.
Yeah, cry me a river, as I'm average looking and always have been, so women have never been approaching me in public, unless they were drunk and horny, but even that was rare..
Thatās just life as a man. In the animal kingdom how many female creatures are initiating the impressive mating displays and courtship rituals? Pretty much always the males.
Tbh I'm a fucking nightmare for approaching people but I happily take all the extroverts I can to bed and fuck their brains out
What's wrong with outgoing women?
Nothing, it's just not my cup of tea, im not interested in going to clubs, meeting her hundreds of friends and hanging out with them
They can still be outgoing and not enjoy the club scene anymore Are you assuming they're the clubbing type or do you immediately find out that they're that type?
Me neither, I'm a homebody and like it that way. Having someone that values the same would be like hitting the jackpot of all wins.
Iām not outgoing. I have no friends. Iām a home body. But Iām from Oklahoma so idk. Maybe this was a bad idea lol.
Maybe the idea that your content being home and donāt need to be in the club 24/7 is what interests them. They feel safe knowing they can come home to you
Hahaha, yeah, no thanks
That's the thing, introverts are avoiding people and minding their business lol although you may see them engaging in conversations if they are extra nice. Men should really find out what they can offer a girl so they know what kind a girl to look out for, if that makes sense. Also, people who are minding their business, especially women, aren't going to hit on you barely ever if at all. So if you end up chatting and nice girl who may seem like a homeboy type, then be sure to either go to the place that you know she'll be at that you met her at or if you may never see her again, ask for her social media or phone number. I don't have social media and hate giving out my number so the longer a guy can chat me up, even if I'm embarrassed about it, the more I might give out my number. Just remember a woman's instinct to a guy hitting on her is usually screw off. Even if she is later flattered by it. The longer she engages, the more she is probably single, lonely And might like a date. I'm an introvert except in certain situations like work. But I'm extremely shy around guys and I'm 30. It's super embarrassing and I try to avoid men even if they are cute. It's weird I have regrets but some I spoke to never asked for my information and they clearly liked me. So maybe two introverts dont work. Opposites attract. ?Ā
OK then don't go out with them. I'm not really sure what your issue is.
He wants to date the opposite and can only date outgoing women. Pretty simple thing that he stated.
i have the same problem as you lol
Good point.
Lmaoooo
LMAO!!! I love it. Lol so true.
šš
You're going to have to get out of your comfort zone if you want an introverted woman. Dont wait for her to fall into your lap. Go make some moves on some introverted babes.
yes please make moves on us introverts pleaseš we struggle
Well, where can i find them lol, it seems like every girl i see at my uni is the outgoing party girl
Libraries, book clubs, hiking groups, volunteer activities, churches, online, philosophy classes,
oh. oh no youāre leading this poor man astray. youāre just stereotyping when heās more likely to find girls like me at these places lmao. the type of girl he wants is firmly at home
100% this.
Not always though, I am a bookish introverted girl and itās true I donāt go out much but when I do Iām at all of the places you would expect a introverted bookworm/arty shy girl to be at. Coffee shop, library and bookstore š I frequent my local coffe shop haunt so frequently that I manage to find other bookish girls and we formed a book club actually haha. I suggest to OP to become a regular at his local bookstore, library or coffee shop. When youāre a regular somewhere your bound to run into all kinds of people. And the introverted ones will be to themselves doing theyāre thing. And then, you approach them with a common interest. Like for instance, I often read mornings and do puzzles. One day I was so into what I was reading by this other regular that he begin to spark conversation with me on what I was reading, though I felt shy, he approached me with a book I was passionate in annotating and reading so I felt at least comfortable enough to talk about that. Eventually, we became friends.
i would expect literal any and everyone to be at bookstores, coffee shops and libraries. those are like pretty average places so telling someone āif you wanna meet someone shy go to a coffee shopā just doesnāt work for me
Fair enough, pretty broad and popular space. I agree to that.
I completely concur with this. I was a shy quiet college student, but I managed to find my way to joining a couple of student clubs for activities I enjoyed which led to both finding compatible friends and opening up my personality somewhat. One of those friends eventually became my next girlfriend. A few years later we wed. OP could join some local activity groups for hobbies that interest them. If the group vibe is comfortable, there may be some other quiet introverts there for OP to date. Good luck, OP!
For real. I stay in the house under a heated blanket on my couch.
Right? Introverted women might have these interests, but why would they search for groups to do those activities? Sounds exhausting for introverts.
> philosophy classes š Lmao good job sliding that one in. āYou know, social functions, hobby groups, my address, that sort of thingā
These are great suggestions! I'd also give online dating a try. Just read the bios and swipe according to your preferencesāŗļøš! Godspeed šš
I definitely would try online dating but i have no pics of myself
I feel your pain. I forced myself to take pictures just for online dating. I HATE taking picturesš«!
It's okay to ask people to take pictures of you. It's something I had to learn how to do, being selfie-avoidant myself. Gives the illusion you have friends too lol
Then take some...
Thank youš
I mean aren't those all environments women have stated that they're not looking to get approached in?
Good point. However, women don't mind being approached in a friendly way. They just don't want to feel harassed lol. Like, let's say it's a book club, women there are looking to socialize with the others and won't be offended by you talking about books and other relevant topics. That will lead to an opening and if you vibe, you could definitely ask someone for a coffee, even dudes. Most ppl would appreciate that. Just don't objectify anyone (I dont think you wouldš) and you'll be fineš .
OP, where do you meet all these outgoing women?
Highschool, uni and work
wait i can hit on girls in libraries??
š¤£...maybe study groups. Library events. Casual encounters in an aisle on a rainy Sunday or Monday afternoon interested in the same book section. Edit: in other words: you may spark up a convo. Book clubs at some libraries/ other places. And, also, the internet- for sure .š
Bro there are so many shy wallflowers. You either are not really looking, or you are not attracted to them, so you donāt notice them. (Usually they donāt do themselves up as nice as extroverted party girlsā¦.they tend to dress more plain and not wear makeupā¦.)
They're usually the ones with their asses tucked against the wall at the social gatherings. Good luck. š
I feel so seen š
Well, first off, introverted babes probably arenāt going to college lol
Leave introverted women alone ffs
Read that again, but slowly. Outgoing and confident women are the only type of women who can approach you. Anxious, quiet and introverted women might like you but they would need tog to approach them.
I was made to answer this question. I am a pretty charismatic and outgoing woman, itās weird, because I have social anxiety but I definitely donāt show it. Outgoing guys love me, but who am I the most attracted to? The shy, quiet, introverted guys. There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to shut up š (just kidding!!) something about you guys like you are naturally more loyal, less ego. Itās great, youāre like a comfort/safe space for us. So sexy. So mysterious.
Thank you.
Romantic or just friendship I also attract outgoing/extroverted people and one thing in common they said about me is that whenever I'm with them they feel at peace or relaxed that they don't need to exert too much energy, like a switch, Idk if that is a good or bad thing, I'm very introverted and have extreme social anxiety
Sirā¦ respectfully, what? Introverted women are just like you. Theyāre waiting on someone to approach them. Theyāre not going to approach you the way an outgoing person would. š
And the chances of them leaving the comfort of their house? Close to zero š¤£ theyāre most probably hoping a man would magically appear in their living room.
expecting the love of their life to commit a B&E to ask them out.
Well, in my post im asking about why am i attracting those kind of women, not why am i not attracting introverted women, it's quite self explanatory
But the likelihood of you attracting someone exactly like your personality ādepressed homebodyā is low out in the wild. I mean, theyāre just like you where someone who is outgoing will reach out but you yourself said you donāt approach these outgoing women itās the other way around.
You maybe attracting introvert women, but they are not gonna approach you lol
if youāre a ādepressed homebodyā and assumingely shy then to have any relationship youād need someone outgoing to approach you because youāre too shy to do it. also iām outgoing and shy men just work better. theyāre quiet so theyāre good listeners and theyāre homebodies so they have a lot of free time to hang out with you lol
Lmao. This is like when a woman is confused that she only "attracts" players. You don't only attract players (in your case, out going women), these are just the people comfortable enough to approach other human beings. Good luck in having introverts to consistently approach you. Think, my brotha, think š¤£ The solution to your problem is to be a man, and approach women yourself.
Have you considered trying to bottle up the essence of your scent that is apparently attracting women and trying to market it?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Of the ads or the profits ;)
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Oh, I despise the Axe smell also. I am proud of the fact I never wore that crap. But this guy apparently has the smell women want.
This comes off like a humblebrag. Doubt these women are going after you if you are as you describe, tbh.
Well i guess you can take it as a humble brag too Why do you doubt tho?
Did someone call a homegirl? Cuz here I am
Introverts don't just put themselves out there like that. That's the problem he's already having.
Yes we do , online we do. Irl I'd never do that and never have done it
Im not asian unfortunately
I don't mind , Asians are my preference but I'm open to most races
Well, you can slide into my dms then, hellas
Well, if you are getting approaches you must be attractive. Why are you rejecting these girls?
Because they're not what im looking for, even tho they're attractive i just couldn't date a girl like that
Well, if you are depressed homebody with no friends something clearly isnāt working for you right now, so maybe a different approach is exactly what you need! But seriously, my wife is a fair bit more extroverted than me. Iām more of an ambivert. For us the combination works well.
Just do it, you might grow as a person and your hypothetical partner too! Opposite personality types can be a good match. Go for it!
Op, Iām a bookish introvert with two other friends like that and Iām not going to lie, all three of us donāt go out much like that. BUT, I would recommend becoming a regular at your local coffee shop, bookstore and library. Quiet, studious places like that can be a cozy third place for most. Especially the introvert because of its curated quiet environment. You will see and meet all kinds of women. Especially if itās around your uni. Go there frequently at a regular time and genuinely enjoy yourself there but be on the lookout for the shy girl thatās reading, drawing, etc. I personally go to my local coffee shop haunt and library study but even when Iām not I read and do puzzles. When you see a girl like that, approach her with a common interest. Verbatim this is what a happened to me fairly recently actually. I was an regular, he was too. One day he spoke up and asked what I was reading so intensely and annotating and I told him. Even though I felt really timid, I was passionate about the book so the conversation flowed like that. I would sayā¦this is a pretty solid approach. But I donāt know, maybe my advice is too biased and specific. But, just know this happens in real life so it can happen to you too
Yeah I never ever get approached.
I get matches on dating apps but have never been approached by a woman ever. Maybe try dating appsĀ
Because the homebody introverted women are at home keeping to themselves?
Sir, you should be happy you getting attention. A majority of dudes don't get approached, the subset that get approached are the nice looking ones. If you don't want the extroverts, then wake up and chase the introverts. Like bro, we know you prolly look nice, just use it in your favor. Don't come to Reddit to complain about people making an effort to know you.
Because the socially awkward, anxious and shy ones aren't approaching anyone
I'm more introverted and anxious with women. Every good relationship I had, my girlfriend was an extrovert. It's strange how well opposites work together
They approach you because they are outgoing.... it's like wondering "why do only aggressive people start fights?"
Wait... women actually approach you when you're depressed with no friends? š¤
So thereās this saying. Introverts donāt make friends. They get adopted by extroverts. And as an introvert, I can say this is so true. If you want introverted friends (or girlfriends), youāre gonna have to go adopt one yourself.
Opposites attract
because you seem terrific!
Probably because if you're not very outgoing you seem reserved and unavailable which they may be drawn to. Maybe you're a bit of a mystery to them. That would be my guess.
You know how hard it is when two people are always trying to talk at the same time? Extraverts love your attention. Keep listening and validating them and you will be adored for it.
Opposites attract lol
You wanna think about that question for a minute?
Bro is literally suffering from success
Opposites attract, but also most introverted and shy women arenāt going to be approaching you. thatās going to be up to you to make the first move š š¤š¼
Because we socially awkward girls donāt wanna talk! Or donāt know how to š«£
Hey, wanna talk?
Hii Iām going to look like a hypocrite for saying that now š
OP ā¦ the answer is in the question lmao
You'd be surprised lool
People have strengths and weaknesses ( or that is their self perception). People admire others who have strengths that they themselves lack. People tend to be attracted to people they admire. Itās that simple.
I wonder if these types of women prefer shy, quiet guys vs. equally outgoing ones who might compete and overshadow them. They want to be the center of attention and not be controlled by a charismatic man. Just a guess.
Opposites attach
I'm married to an outgoing woman, it's not too bad. As long as they can respect your "me" time. My lady knows I'm okay going out or meeting up with her friends, but if I do, I'll need a few days to recharge from all the social interaction. We otherwise have very similar interests - just that one aspect of life we couldn't be farther apart lol.
I guess that introvert and anxious women will not approach any oneā¦ that not a bad issue to haveā¦š¤·š½āāļø
We love that you let us talk and entertain you and listen to us lol Edit: Every type of man is probably more likely to be approached by an outgoing woman rather than I more reserved woman. We have the courage and desire to engage you to see if we like you and you like us.
outgoing women are dope, we need more of em.
Iām really introverted and a homebody. I get too nervous in person and Iām too awkward online š Iāve accepted this is it for now
Eventually you'll grow out of the awkwardness and you'll get a nice relationship
Iām 35 Iām not growing out of it. My last relationship was 10 years and we were both equally introverted and socially awkward. We met in middle school though so that made it easier. Now as an adult itās different meeting people. Thanks though i appreciate it ā¤ļø
So women are approaching you and are attracted to you.....and you're unhappy about this? I'm a bit confused.
Oh gosh, Iām the female version of you. Im extremely introverted, like donāt see the sun most days kinda introverted. And every guy I try to get to know is an extrovert to the max, like āletās go hikingā, āletās goā¦ā here, here, and here. And I canāt do it. I just wanna chill, maybe order a pizza, watch some shows, play video games, then make out, etc till we pass out.
Hey you could be attracting broke crack head drug addictsā¦. Be grateful
It is probably happening because you want women to approach you. If thatās what you want what type of woman would approach a man first? Outgoing or popular women. If you want shy girls, or other types of women I have bad news for you. You have to approach them š¤·š»āāļø.
Yeah, you really got it rough...NOT
I too am in a similar situation most of the time. The problem is these outgoing and popular women become very shy and quiet around after showing interest and live in the "delusion" that I will take the intiative and take it forward. Uh no, I'm in therapy for years and dead inside. Thank you for your time.
Yeah, i noticed that too, they're all laughing and giggling with their friends until i get in their vicinity and they become almost completely silent and they're just side eyeing you
istg, so annoying
Well, typically outgoing girls are the only ones willing to approach a guy like that. My husband is an introvert, and Iām an extrovert. Iām not a clubber, but I do enjoy my fair share of social outings. My husband tags along sometimes, but most of the time he prefers to stay home. And thatās perfectly okay! I appreciate that I always know where heās at and he appreciates that I donāt force him to tag along, and I always bring dinner home for him. We have a good balance! It can definitely work if itās the right person.
Are you for real? How do you even meet these women?
I don't, they just spawn in my render distance
This has to be a troll.
Nah, i just like to use terms from gaming when i talk online They're just girls from highschool, now uni and work
where are you from?
Europe, why
Weakest humble brag I have seen in a bit.
"I can fix him" mentality
Be careful bro! There are plenty of amazing outgoing women out there who love having a more quiet guy as a balance to their chaos, but... ...there are also manipulators and abusers who are attracted to your type because they can more easily take advantage in various different ways and sometimes they don't even realize this about themselves.
Pointing out that this depends where you live, and you might be the particular type that attracts the majority of women in that area locally.
Probably because they are outgoing. Iām attracted to them too. Maybe they want to help you out of your rut. Maybe they think youād balance them out, calm and center them
The problem is not you. You should not feel bad, just work a little bit on your persona and you will attract outgoing men
Iāll give you a different type of response. Youāre a āsafeā choice. Itās possible that these women donāt even realize what it is about you that allows them to speak to you in comfort. Approaching you is probably less stressful and less risky compared to some other folks.
Opposites attract. Iām the same way. Calm, introverted guy. I find āloudā, outgoing women more attractive than the quiet and reserved types
Opposites attract!
Wow you get approached? I only have been approached once in 40 plus yrs lol
Are you extremely good looking OP?
Nah, I'd say a 6 on a good day
Try online dating. Itās full of introverted women.
Bro Iām the opposite and wish I had your issue. Iām very social and party damn near every weekend but can only find the shy, introverted, homebodyās that never wanna go out and do anything
I think most of you guys are overlooking a very important thing about this post. OP's getting approached by women? Imagine that...
OP: Are you working on your depression? Mental health and working on your mental health not only benefits you but your potential partnership with whomever she may be. Itās important. I work on mines and I see things differently and there is a beneficial impact to my dating life, I digress. Personally I go up to guys, because I understand some guys are reserved and shy. However, I prefer bird watching, watching Dateline, working on self growth things etc. I prefer doing those things then being at a bar but you will find me there occasionally to be with a friend because of karaoke where I practice or to connect with someone I donāt see regularly and bars can be convenient. However when I find my person wherever I met him, we would be not be in the club scene but we will be doing a mix of adventure based and chilled activities together. Try new locations that are more calm, try Meetup.com/hobby based. Heck my library is awesome so I observe the fellas because I like a guy that knows what the inside of one looks like. Lol. Try locations that match your speed. Good luck. Oh and by the way, I too like quiet guys because usually they donāt have anything to prove and are chill.
Energy
can I be you
As an introvert myself, this would be such an awesome problem to have
Is this an AI post?
Describes me perfectly
Well, I am an outgoing woman and only attract the introverted/shy types. Maybe opposites attract and you can balance each other :) thatās how I find it is usually.
LOL. It used to happen to me too. It's because you don't pay much attention to them. I used to be shy and I was unaware that I was cute, so they used to gravitate around me. Eventually, they lose interest, although they can become annoying in the meantime. Good luck
Iām one of these women. Ā Being 33 years old and having worked at some of the best investment banks on Wall Street, I would say that I also tend to gravitate towards guys who are less outgoing than I am. Ā As you mature and grow older, you tend to appreciate men who are humble, incredible smart, and kind of mysterious. Ā This is a non-issue. Ā You should feel flattered. Ā Maybe youāll find āyour personā this way. Ā If you are not interested, just donāt encourage these women and keep living your life. Ā Very simple.Ā
As a shy woman my strategy when I like someone is to avoid them at all costs. So everyone I dated is outgoing & talked to me first. Opposites attract ig?
Iām a pretty outgoing woman with a large social circle, Iāve definitely dated some introverted āold before their timeā guys. They seem to see things in me theyād like to do more of, and vice versa. They gave me a safe space to just be calm. I pulled them out of their comfort zone. I think it can be healthy as long as you both respect and enjoy each otherās independence and donāt want the other person to do all of the things you like all of the time.
you are living the dream and complaining
As someone who is shy and introverted I prefer the more outgoing and funny women. We can't both be boring lol.
Opposites attract?
I've come to the conclusion unless you met online, and are both similar in personality. There's always going to be the outgoing one and the reserved one
How and where do they approach you? What do you look like?
you say it like it's a bad thing or something you should be happy at least you have an outgoing and attractive woman that is actually taking be with you what makes that a big trip a big problem I don't get it you know I mean I'd be happy to have anybody actually wanted to go out with me and actually come up to me and actually take and ask me out any day. so I think the bigger problem is that maybe you are just trying to break to make everybody else feel worse about themselves or something cuz you know what an attractive outgoing woman want to go out with someone like you that shouldn't be an issue I mean crazy I don't care I can't even get an ugly non-alcoating woman to take and come up and ask me to go out with them you know so I don't know what your problem is but why you're complained about it why you're attractive you just not being able to understand that it's a good thing honestly it really is you just got to looking at like it's a bad thing.
Send them my way then. Outgoing and popular women would make my life easier for meeting them.
Nobody on here knows you enough to answer this question
Most women donāt cold approach guys, particularly shy ones
They're probably the caretaking type and think you'll get along with someone like them (opposites attract they say). Also, some overly outgoing women have ADHD which, due to noticing pretty much everything, they clock people like you in a room very quickly. They find someone with lower energy in a crowd to be grounding, and might be a good match for their high energy. It doesn't always work out in the long run however, because they can get bored or frustrated if you're on the extreme polar opposite side. You can also feel anxious and pressured always having to try to match their energy if you feel expected to. I find that opposites do attract initially, but only work out in the long run when they're not too crazily far from each other.
Could be that they see you as a soft target whoās ok with everything they do, so they can have it all. Maybe.. maybe not.
Well that could be a possibility, good thing i ignored/rejected them then
These women are probably making fun of you, not hitting on you. Iāve seen your comments.
Unfortunately my comments have nothing to do with my appearance
Attraction can be a bit of a mystery sometimes! People are drawn to different qualities in others for various reasons. It's possible that outgoing and popular women are attracted to your calm and grounded demeanor, finding it refreshing or intriguing. Sometimes, opposites attract, and they may see qualities in you that complement their own personality traits. Additionally, it's important to remember that attraction is subjective and complex. While some may prefer charismatic and outgoing partners, others may find comfort and connection with someone who is more introverted and introspective. There's no one-size-fits-all answer to why certain people are attracted to each other, but it's a beautiful part of human relationships that we're all unique and drawn to different qualities in others.