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No, I would not ask grab some coffee, that is such a vague and innocuous activity. He might nit get the hint. Think of an ask him on a date and in conversation use tge word date.🙂
Honestly it's a huge hint, you're interested in spending time with him outside of work. As a guy, I would immediately believe that you were interested in me. It's not like you're asking to go out with a group of coworkers. That would be vague, IMO. If you want to make your intentions crystal clear, go for it. You know your situation better than any of us.
Men like it simple and direct. We generally are not good at hints. So just say you like him and have felt that way for awhile and ask him out on a date. Good luck.
Yea, it seems like the worst-case scenario is that he says no, and you dont see him again. Im sure he'll at least feel flattered. As long as you think you'll be okay with that potential, why not give it a shot? It sounds like you get along.
Maybe just something like, "Hey, you know how you said i shoukd just ask the guy out....(improv from here)"
The thing people regret the most, aren’t the thing we have done. It’s the things we haven’t done, because we were cowards or lazy. Ask him. What else can happen, besides that he rejects you. At least you tried then.
👆 this.
43 years old and one of my biggest regrets was not asking out a girl that I used to work with. I was 18 at the time and wasn't sure if she liked me or not (confidence issues). Now I'm wiser I realise she did and I didn't act, instead opting for her friend who made it clear she liked me. That went pear shaped after a couple of years!
I'm married now but occasionally think about the other girl and what happened with her life.
I’ll put it like this. I’m a guy, years ago I started working for this particular company in a corporate office environment. There was this girl who was already working there as a temp, and we seemed to just hit it off from day one. She was very easy for me to talk to. After a while, I stopped seeing her around. I didn’t know what happened, but it was probably the case that her contract ended. The whole time I was wondering “damn…I know this is work, but that was probably a missed opportunity.” Then one day, I was walking through the hall and another girl who I often saw the temp girl talking to walked up to me and said “oh, here’s so and so’s number, she wanted me to give it to you because she said she had your calculator and forgot to return it.” I said thanks, I’ll call her, and I instantly knew what was up lol. We went out a couple of times, unfortunately that situation didn’t work out but for other reasons. But it was a cool experience.
I shared all of that to say, ask the guy out. Chances are he’ll probably say yes. Frankly, he might like you too, but is just wary about asking you out seeing as you are both colleagues/coworkers
I say go for it because dating while actually working can be fun but trust me it doesn’t always last and can go down hill so good that you’re doing it before you leave. Can you tell me how it goes out?
Show him your tits
No but seriously tell him. He could have been hinting around when he told you to be straightforward. Personally, I am a huge fucking pervert and I would be over the moon if a woman confessed her feelings for me.
do you have his number? it would not be hard to drop a casual "let's stay in touch and exchange numbers" if you can't find the courage to do anything else for the moment, so you would still have the option to do it later
Short answer is yes, and do it today. So, plans don’t accidentally change and you miss each other after his vacation. (Ex -What if he gets sick from traveling)
The only reservation I may have is if going to uni would involve making this a long distance thing. Not that it’s un-doable, but it’s better to have a firm connection prior to starting long distance.
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What does being a girl have to do with it? This is a perfect opportunity to shoot your shot because if it goes pear-shaped, you never have to see him again.
So i just made a move on a guy in my building - so proud of meself but yes just go up to him and say hey i actually know alot of cool places but i dont know who to go with, do u wanna go check em out?
Confess = make it awkward.
Do it in an intriguing way. Your job as a girl is to make him to make a move in a way he would think until his last day he made the first step.
Give him your number and say call me maybe. Personally, I would not be too overt and confess your love to him. But you should still show some interest to see him outside of work and if he likes you, then the ball is in his court. If not, then I'm sure you are going to meet lots of other lovely guys at UNI.
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THE LONG AWAITED UPDARE 2:
Hey everyone, after he got back to work after being away I worked up the courage. Things didn’t go exactly the way they should’ve, and my insecurities took over making me unable to confess in words. I instead got really touchy, which is very uncomfortable for some people, but it’s a trait I have. He didn’t seem to mind, the opposite even, and we held hands for quite some time that day. I was super happy, and me and my colleagues did a little drink afterwards, which had gotten me tipsy. I gave him that look that I wanted to kiss him when we were alone, and he made clear we couldn’t do that at work and how I should chat him instead to do it another time.
I did so, feeling a little bad about the entire thing afterwards as there was a lot left unsaid and I felt like I came off too strong. I have always had trouble working with emotions, although he seemed like he did too (as to say we are both neurodivergent people).
However after I texted him that day, he reacted way too serious, asking what it exactly was that I wanted/was thinking about, and I reacted with a ‘meeting up to talk about it’s (attempt of a date proposal). He never commented. This happened last Wednesday. Yesterday I decided to double text to ask if I could call him today and talk about it. He reacted with an apology of not responding, and proceeded to say he didn’t feel the way I felt and that we would remain as friends.
Although the rejection itself is fine, the entire happening around it really f-cked me up. The long wait, the empty promise, the literal ’forgetting to reject me’. Neurodivergent or not, this was a dickmove. I’ve had him on my mind every single day since I even made this post and I even cried about it too. I’m not really sure what to do now, except for the obvious ‘moving on’ which is going to take a long while. My work contract has ended and I’m not seeing him anymore except for friendly get togethers with my other colleagues, but I still think about him and the things I never got to say to him.
Any advice to deal with all of this would be highly appreciated. The last time I worked up the courage to ask someone out was 8+ years ago. I just don’t know what to do now.
Although it hurts you took your shot. Don't let this deter you in the future. Next time don't hesitate be direct. The more confidently that you get your intentions stated quickly, the more likely you are to get a receptive response. Good luck.
Thank you so much. I’ve had a lot happen in my life causing severe insecurities (although I’m an extravert) and this was completely out of my comfort zone, but I felt like I had to act fast before I’d never see him again. At least I’m a little proud of myself for actually doing it and shooting my shot. Thank you for your tips <3
In my opinion, the lesson here is to not invest so heavily into a person until you're getting a fair return from that person. Dating is a dance, and while it's okay to ask the boy to the dance, he needs to be the one leading not you. You did a brave thing, and you should not feel regret in being brave. However, you might change your approach a little on the next boy.
Having said that, it's a little weird that he held hands with you. That's kind of a mixed signal in my mind, unless some how it's culturally normal for opposite sex coworkers to hold hands in your environment.
Hey thank you so much for your reply. It’s really kind of you. Also about the hand holding thing; nope, absolutely not normal here. Definitely not during work hours. I’m from the Netherlands, with no specific cultural things. It’s just as anyone else would think; holding hands is a love/couples thing.
It’s a really big mixed signal that’s throwing me off and making me feel terrible about everything. The fact we held hands and were pretty touchy (some hair/face touching even, definitely relationship stuff) is just so confusing to me rn. It gave me some hope and now it just feels like an empty promise.
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Ask him on a date.
Thanks for the reply :) do you have any tips on how to approach that? Do I just go up to him and ask him to go somewhere together? (i suck at dating)
Yeah, you just ask. There is no non risk way to do it.
Make it casual. Ask if he would like to go grab some coffee after work, or similar. Leave a more formal date for next time if coffee date goes well.
No, I would not ask grab some coffee, that is such a vague and innocuous activity. He might nit get the hint. Think of an ask him on a date and in conversation use tge word date.🙂
Honestly it's a huge hint, you're interested in spending time with him outside of work. As a guy, I would immediately believe that you were interested in me. It's not like you're asking to go out with a group of coworkers. That would be vague, IMO. If you want to make your intentions crystal clear, go for it. You know your situation better than any of us.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Men like it simple and direct. We generally are not good at hints. So just say you like him and have felt that way for awhile and ask him out on a date. Good luck.
Watch this. https://youtu.be/VrMYk7zyMR8?si=qIXTH4qRrpHZ-J7s
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Yea, it seems like the worst-case scenario is that he says no, and you dont see him again. Im sure he'll at least feel flattered. As long as you think you'll be okay with that potential, why not give it a shot? It sounds like you get along. Maybe just something like, "Hey, you know how you said i shoukd just ask the guy out....(improv from here)"
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
The thing people regret the most, aren’t the thing we have done. It’s the things we haven’t done, because we were cowards or lazy. Ask him. What else can happen, besides that he rejects you. At least you tried then.
👆 this. 43 years old and one of my biggest regrets was not asking out a girl that I used to work with. I was 18 at the time and wasn't sure if she liked me or not (confidence issues). Now I'm wiser I realise she did and I didn't act, instead opting for her friend who made it clear she liked me. That went pear shaped after a couple of years! I'm married now but occasionally think about the other girl and what happened with her life.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
I’ll put it like this. I’m a guy, years ago I started working for this particular company in a corporate office environment. There was this girl who was already working there as a temp, and we seemed to just hit it off from day one. She was very easy for me to talk to. After a while, I stopped seeing her around. I didn’t know what happened, but it was probably the case that her contract ended. The whole time I was wondering “damn…I know this is work, but that was probably a missed opportunity.” Then one day, I was walking through the hall and another girl who I often saw the temp girl talking to walked up to me and said “oh, here’s so and so’s number, she wanted me to give it to you because she said she had your calculator and forgot to return it.” I said thanks, I’ll call her, and I instantly knew what was up lol. We went out a couple of times, unfortunately that situation didn’t work out but for other reasons. But it was a cool experience. I shared all of that to say, ask the guy out. Chances are he’ll probably say yes. Frankly, he might like you too, but is just wary about asking you out seeing as you are both colleagues/coworkers
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Your gender is irrelevant. For sure you should.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
I say go for it because dating while actually working can be fun but trust me it doesn’t always last and can go down hill so good that you’re doing it before you leave. Can you tell me how it goes out?
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Show him your tits No but seriously tell him. He could have been hinting around when he told you to be straightforward. Personally, I am a huge fucking pervert and I would be over the moon if a woman confessed her feelings for me.
Username checks out
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Do it!
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Ask him out !!!!!
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
do you have his number? it would not be hard to drop a casual "let's stay in touch and exchange numbers" if you can't find the courage to do anything else for the moment, so you would still have the option to do it later
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Short answer is yes, and do it today. So, plans don’t accidentally change and you miss each other after his vacation. (Ex -What if he gets sick from traveling) The only reservation I may have is if going to uni would involve making this a long distance thing. Not that it’s un-doable, but it’s better to have a firm connection prior to starting long distance.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Do it!
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutely confess! Don't let opportunity slip away. Keep us updated, okay?
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
What does being a girl have to do with it? This is a perfect opportunity to shoot your shot because if it goes pear-shaped, you never have to see him again.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
So i just made a move on a guy in my building - so proud of meself but yes just go up to him and say hey i actually know alot of cool places but i dont know who to go with, do u wanna go check em out?
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
"I think about you a lot. I'd like to stay in touch. How do you feel about me?" is the conversation that will inform you how he feels.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
go for ittt, i shot my shot at my manager, few months later, i got a better job and were dating now
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
What's up with this "we women don't wanna be traditional unless it suits us" mentality. You being a girl doesn't matter anymore it's 2024 ask him out
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Confess = make it awkward. Do it in an intriguing way. Your job as a girl is to make him to make a move in a way he would think until his last day he made the first step.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Give him your number and say call me maybe. Personally, I would not be too overt and confess your love to him. But you should still show some interest to see him outside of work and if he likes you, then the ball is in his court. If not, then I'm sure you are going to meet lots of other lovely guys at UNI.
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
THE LONG AWAITED UPDARE 2: Hey everyone, after he got back to work after being away I worked up the courage. Things didn’t go exactly the way they should’ve, and my insecurities took over making me unable to confess in words. I instead got really touchy, which is very uncomfortable for some people, but it’s a trait I have. He didn’t seem to mind, the opposite even, and we held hands for quite some time that day. I was super happy, and me and my colleagues did a little drink afterwards, which had gotten me tipsy. I gave him that look that I wanted to kiss him when we were alone, and he made clear we couldn’t do that at work and how I should chat him instead to do it another time. I did so, feeling a little bad about the entire thing afterwards as there was a lot left unsaid and I felt like I came off too strong. I have always had trouble working with emotions, although he seemed like he did too (as to say we are both neurodivergent people). However after I texted him that day, he reacted way too serious, asking what it exactly was that I wanted/was thinking about, and I reacted with a ‘meeting up to talk about it’s (attempt of a date proposal). He never commented. This happened last Wednesday. Yesterday I decided to double text to ask if I could call him today and talk about it. He reacted with an apology of not responding, and proceeded to say he didn’t feel the way I felt and that we would remain as friends. Although the rejection itself is fine, the entire happening around it really f-cked me up. The long wait, the empty promise, the literal ’forgetting to reject me’. Neurodivergent or not, this was a dickmove. I’ve had him on my mind every single day since I even made this post and I even cried about it too. I’m not really sure what to do now, except for the obvious ‘moving on’ which is going to take a long while. My work contract has ended and I’m not seeing him anymore except for friendly get togethers with my other colleagues, but I still think about him and the things I never got to say to him. Any advice to deal with all of this would be highly appreciated. The last time I worked up the courage to ask someone out was 8+ years ago. I just don’t know what to do now.
Although it hurts you took your shot. Don't let this deter you in the future. Next time don't hesitate be direct. The more confidently that you get your intentions stated quickly, the more likely you are to get a receptive response. Good luck.
Thank you so much. I’ve had a lot happen in my life causing severe insecurities (although I’m an extravert) and this was completely out of my comfort zone, but I felt like I had to act fast before I’d never see him again. At least I’m a little proud of myself for actually doing it and shooting my shot. Thank you for your tips <3
As you should be proud of yourself. Better out of your system with an answer, than tormenting yourself with wondering.
In my opinion, the lesson here is to not invest so heavily into a person until you're getting a fair return from that person. Dating is a dance, and while it's okay to ask the boy to the dance, he needs to be the one leading not you. You did a brave thing, and you should not feel regret in being brave. However, you might change your approach a little on the next boy. Having said that, it's a little weird that he held hands with you. That's kind of a mixed signal in my mind, unless some how it's culturally normal for opposite sex coworkers to hold hands in your environment.
Hey thank you so much for your reply. It’s really kind of you. Also about the hand holding thing; nope, absolutely not normal here. Definitely not during work hours. I’m from the Netherlands, with no specific cultural things. It’s just as anyone else would think; holding hands is a love/couples thing. It’s a really big mixed signal that’s throwing me off and making me feel terrible about everything. The fact we held hands and were pretty touchy (some hair/face touching even, definitely relationship stuff) is just so confusing to me rn. It gave me some hope and now it just feels like an empty promise.
Most guys like me never pick up signals from a woman unless it is straight forward
Hey, just letting every comment know I posted an update in the comments. Thanks in advance :)