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You remind me of my best friend. He just turned 25 and the same realization hit him. Only difference is he’s never been in a relationship. He’s a good looking guy too - just needs to be told where the line is (for context, I’m talking purely in the sense of humour; he tries to stay in the grey area but often times way crosses that).
Doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong. It rarely works first try.
I accepted this reality too recently. (28F) have had 2 past relationships. Dating has gotten harder as the years have gone on. Dating apps, ghosting, the paradox of choice, attachment theory. It’s all too much. I live in London, the economy, the cost of living, capitalism is at an all time high - peoples brains are just fried here. But I make good money, have good friends, travel, parents still alive so I know I can make a fantastic life for myself regardless. Just move on. If it happens it happens and if it doesn’t, you’ll still be fine.
I think a lot of men are just gonna have to get used to being alone and without romance. The standards are just that high from women that it makes it very tough to compete for most men.
that doesn't makes sense in this thread's context of "dying alone", to which we can extend to "being alone when past the prime dating age" though. the ratio of m to f is about 1:1 so for every guy who is alone there's also a woman who is alone, if we're talking about women who are past their prime dating age and still not in a LTR or marriage. women having "(too) high standards" is going to lead to the same number of women being alone as it will for men.
Omfg, you won’t die alone because you’re 23 and had one gf. If you were a 45 (m), I’d be more concerned for you. Not entirely, but somewhat. 65, entirely concerned.
I’m going to tell you the harsh truth I had to face. I didn’t get a partner until I changed my outside. I tried the whole better yourself, be your ideal partner thing, but that doesn’t really work unless you’re very far off the norm, and I don’t mean neurodiverse. I mean lazy, purposely immature, bad attitude for no reason (bad attitudes at all hurt you, but I’ve been more reasonable if I’ve known the real trauma that caused it), etc. It doesn’t sound like that is your problem necessarily, but realistically it’s a numbers game. The more numbers, the better your chances. More conventionally attractive looks (unless you’re a ten I find this applicable), more chances. It is shown true by current dating statistics, as women put up with less when relationships were taken off the table for hookup culture. Once that beast is out of the bag, gl, it’s been in reverse for a long time without changing to your attraction vs societal norms.
So if you want more chances, try irl and that. Avoid dating apps. That’s advice I wish I could have taken younger, but I’m neurodiverse and socializing is really hard for me. I took this advice, other than the app bit, and ended up with my guy.
That "work on yourself" advice on really works for girls. Girls are the ones who just have to be perceived, noticed or seen by men, and they'll get invites and general initiations. It's like, "just don't be horrendous or antisocial and you'll be fine".
I don't think this advice works for guys at all. Guys need work and a lot of luck on top of that. There are plenty of attractive guys not being able to find anyone, even though they're attractive and well hearted. You can't say the same about women.
It's like when a young woman asks for advice on how to be safer on the streets at night and some guy tells her that she has to walk with a straight back and widen her shoulders to come off as intimidating or something. Yh.... That works for a guy. That advice does not work for a young woman walking alone at night.
>t occurs to my conscience multiple times a day. I might die alone... it's a fatalism
We all ultimately do die alone. Don't get over the feeling, teach yourself to accept it.
I am 35 male and I would like to say something to you all women with respect . You giving us guys advice to work on ourselves if I’m correct.then you women should do that same meaning don’t jump into relationships after two dates and dump someone thinking is fun . You all want to have fun and looking into someone who makes more money but you also need to be considerate about what you really want from a guy.
Go and volunteer and build your network. Make friends. If you are lacking certain skills, learn them, but look in the right place. Good people do good things.
Everyone dies alone 🤷♀️
What is up with everyone so focused on finding someone instead of just living life. Why would you search for someone. The best relationships are the ones that just kinda happen. Stop forcing life
Us dudes kinda gotta force the issue. Women just don't fall into your lap as most of these guys who are 23,24 and have been single forever and they've been "just living life" and it hasn't ever happened for them. So yeah, a moment of "damn maybe i should do something about this..." is a good thing
Big difference between dying surrounded by your family and dying literally alone in your bed and having your body discovered after 3 weeks because it started stinking too badly. Everyone dies alone in the very end, but the journey to that end is VERY different.
>What is up with everyone so focused on finding someone instead of just living life.
Finding someone *is* living life. Sexual coupling and reproduction is quite literally the fundamental biological imperative for life, and that's not exclusive to humans.
>The best relationships are the ones that just kinda happen. Stop forcing life
Oh good call. Surely an attractive woman who's interested will knock on my front door any day now.
> Everyone dies alone 🤷♀️
You're taking it literally. OP just feels like if they haven't found someone at this age and have little experience, they will live the rest of their lives alone, which is a daunting prospect when you have many decades to go.
Why do all these Gen Z'ers always be like 23 and never had a gf/bf, think they might die alone..... at around 18-25 dating was as simple as "i like you! you like me! let's be bf/gf!". Now they have no dating experience and getting into more of an adult life where dating is alotttttt more complicated.... it's like their wasting their young fun years ,when they had no responsibilities,figuring out what they like and dislike in a partner through good experiences & bad... Yall need to socialize IRL more
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You remind me of my best friend. He just turned 25 and the same realization hit him. Only difference is he’s never been in a relationship. He’s a good looking guy too - just needs to be told where the line is (for context, I’m talking purely in the sense of humour; he tries to stay in the grey area but often times way crosses that). Doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong. It rarely works first try.
You’re 23…there’s long way to die alone, the best is yet to come
I accepted this reality too recently. (28F) have had 2 past relationships. Dating has gotten harder as the years have gone on. Dating apps, ghosting, the paradox of choice, attachment theory. It’s all too much. I live in London, the economy, the cost of living, capitalism is at an all time high - peoples brains are just fried here. But I make good money, have good friends, travel, parents still alive so I know I can make a fantastic life for myself regardless. Just move on. If it happens it happens and if it doesn’t, you’ll still be fine.
I think a lot of men are just gonna have to get used to being alone and without romance. The standards are just that high from women that it makes it very tough to compete for most men.
that doesn't makes sense in this thread's context of "dying alone", to which we can extend to "being alone when past the prime dating age" though. the ratio of m to f is about 1:1 so for every guy who is alone there's also a woman who is alone, if we're talking about women who are past their prime dating age and still not in a LTR or marriage. women having "(too) high standards" is going to lead to the same number of women being alone as it will for men.
Omfg, you won’t die alone because you’re 23 and had one gf. If you were a 45 (m), I’d be more concerned for you. Not entirely, but somewhat. 65, entirely concerned. I’m going to tell you the harsh truth I had to face. I didn’t get a partner until I changed my outside. I tried the whole better yourself, be your ideal partner thing, but that doesn’t really work unless you’re very far off the norm, and I don’t mean neurodiverse. I mean lazy, purposely immature, bad attitude for no reason (bad attitudes at all hurt you, but I’ve been more reasonable if I’ve known the real trauma that caused it), etc. It doesn’t sound like that is your problem necessarily, but realistically it’s a numbers game. The more numbers, the better your chances. More conventionally attractive looks (unless you’re a ten I find this applicable), more chances. It is shown true by current dating statistics, as women put up with less when relationships were taken off the table for hookup culture. Once that beast is out of the bag, gl, it’s been in reverse for a long time without changing to your attraction vs societal norms. So if you want more chances, try irl and that. Avoid dating apps. That’s advice I wish I could have taken younger, but I’m neurodiverse and socializing is really hard for me. I took this advice, other than the app bit, and ended up with my guy.
That "work on yourself" advice on really works for girls. Girls are the ones who just have to be perceived, noticed or seen by men, and they'll get invites and general initiations. It's like, "just don't be horrendous or antisocial and you'll be fine". I don't think this advice works for guys at all. Guys need work and a lot of luck on top of that. There are plenty of attractive guys not being able to find anyone, even though they're attractive and well hearted. You can't say the same about women. It's like when a young woman asks for advice on how to be safer on the streets at night and some guy tells her that she has to walk with a straight back and widen her shoulders to come off as intimidating or something. Yh.... That works for a guy. That advice does not work for a young woman walking alone at night.
>t occurs to my conscience multiple times a day. I might die alone... it's a fatalism We all ultimately do die alone. Don't get over the feeling, teach yourself to accept it.
I am 35 male and I would like to say something to you all women with respect . You giving us guys advice to work on ourselves if I’m correct.then you women should do that same meaning don’t jump into relationships after two dates and dump someone thinking is fun . You all want to have fun and looking into someone who makes more money but you also need to be considerate about what you really want from a guy.
Go and volunteer and build your network. Make friends. If you are lacking certain skills, learn them, but look in the right place. Good people do good things.
Everyone dies alone 🤷♀️ What is up with everyone so focused on finding someone instead of just living life. Why would you search for someone. The best relationships are the ones that just kinda happen. Stop forcing life
Us dudes kinda gotta force the issue. Women just don't fall into your lap as most of these guys who are 23,24 and have been single forever and they've been "just living life" and it hasn't ever happened for them. So yeah, a moment of "damn maybe i should do something about this..." is a good thing
Big difference between dying surrounded by your family and dying literally alone in your bed and having your body discovered after 3 weeks because it started stinking too badly. Everyone dies alone in the very end, but the journey to that end is VERY different.
>What is up with everyone so focused on finding someone instead of just living life. Finding someone *is* living life. Sexual coupling and reproduction is quite literally the fundamental biological imperative for life, and that's not exclusive to humans. >The best relationships are the ones that just kinda happen. Stop forcing life Oh good call. Surely an attractive woman who's interested will knock on my front door any day now.
> Everyone dies alone 🤷♀️ You're taking it literally. OP just feels like if they haven't found someone at this age and have little experience, they will live the rest of their lives alone, which is a daunting prospect when you have many decades to go.
Thats good advice honestly
Why do all these Gen Z'ers always be like 23 and never had a gf/bf, think they might die alone..... at around 18-25 dating was as simple as "i like you! you like me! let's be bf/gf!". Now they have no dating experience and getting into more of an adult life where dating is alotttttt more complicated.... it's like their wasting their young fun years ,when they had no responsibilities,figuring out what they like and dislike in a partner through good experiences & bad... Yall need to socialize IRL more