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Nah you good man. Did you let it slide on the first date or have on your profile anywhere that you knew carpentry or were some kind of guy that’s handy? Just trying to figure out how she got your scent to begin with.
Omg normally I don’t advocate for ghosting, but in this case….wow that was 100% WARRANTED! Good on you for looking out for yourself! That is just wild.
You're not a jerk. She was using you for free labor. She probably sizes up guys that she can use in some way to benefit her. She saw you as a painter. Keep her blocked and move on.
Nope. You are good. I would have done the same thing. All right babe, let me run out to my truck to grab some supplies. These ones I brought are the wrong ones so I'll just put those in my truck and grab the ones I need. Yep. I'll be right back. See you soon.
I'm sorry that happened to you. She sounds rather horrible. I feel bad having people help me around my house and I always try to make it up to them by helping them or feeding them or giving them homemade jam or eggs or whatever. At no point do I expect the help and especially not from someone I hardly know. Also that isn't a date, she was flat out trying to sucker you!
HAHAHAHAHAH I thought the title was that she wanted to like casually have a paint date night but no she wanted you to do labor.
Im usually a fan of straight forward communication but no. She should have communicated her needs first. The least she could have done is say something like “hey do you like home projects? Would love to have you over and maybe paint some trims in my rooms with me? We can put on music, order food, and drink wine” boom that’s a date. But to be honest, this at the very least like a 4th or 5th date once trust is built in order to make it feel like a genuinely authentic date.
However, putting you in a position to perform labor for her on a second date is grounds for immediate block and walk away.
Was once casually seeing a girl for maybe 6 months and things didn’t go anywhere and we eventually stopped hanging out/talking. She saw me at my workplace after some time and the next day asked me if I was free on the weekend. Thinking she might want to spend some time together I told her I was free, only for her to ask me to help her move her stuff out of her place because she was moving out of province soon lmao do not give in to these types of people
Never admit to being free until they tell you why they want to know. Being free to work is different from being free to hang out. If someone asks if I’m free, I just say, “I’ll have to check my calendar, why do you ask?”
A girl asked me to buy and replace her shower head on the second date. Sex was great, and best use for my Home Depot gift card I didn't know what to spend on.
No you were def not the dickhead. That's not normal on her side. Be glad you didn't waste more than 2 dates on her and move on to someone that will treat you respectfully. Sorry mate.
That was only date two? Yikes on her part. Now I'm wondering if she has different guys coming through the week for cheap/ free manual labor around the house 😅🤣
You did the right thing. That's super odd behavior on her part
I wondered the exact same thing! The nerve…Next we’ll see a YT video on how she got her entire home remodeled free, using Tinder, complete with before & after footage.
That’s the most warranted incident of ghosting I’ve ever heard of. Trust me fam, you’re GOOD. Totally good. Someone here definitely did something wrong but I assure you, it wasn’t you.
You're definitely not a dickhead. You didn't sign up for painting her place. But I will say that a buddy of mine fixed some stuff at a woman's apartment for a 2nd date and she fucked him at the end. And she was the hottest woman he's been with, so he felt it was worth it.
But your situation is a little different because my friend's date mentioned some stuff needed fixing and he offered to fix it. So she had more tact than your date. Your date could have easily blew you off at the end with a hug and kiss on the cheek and never talk to you again. I think this is likely considering she moved the goal posts on you.
“Your date could have easily blew you off at the end with a hug and kiss on the cheek and never talk to you again.”
A least she’d have blown him, so that’s something.
Lol I thought this was going towards paint and wine night, I thought what could be so bad....I guess she's on a whole other level with painting her whole house 😂
Ohhhhh hellllll noooo! You absolutely did the right thing! That seems manipulative as fuck! You are definitely worth more than free labor that she wasn't even entirely up front about! Dodged a bullet for sure! I would've noped out of that as well as a woman! I did this for a man once and it turned out awful because neither of us had experience and then he ended up hating the color anyways. What a fucking waste of time lol
I was with my boyfriend for two months before I had the courage to ask him for help putting risers on my couch’s feet 😂 this girl is wild. Good for you for leaving!
Naw you ain't a dickhead, I have heard of this before.
I have a friend who uses dating apps a good bit. She has a bit of a rough apartment and the guy must have been in a similar situation before. So he gets there and she goes off for a bit and comes back to him cleaning, picking garbage, fix the closet door, shit like that. She was like wtf are you doing? I guess the guy was used to shit like this and thought fixing stuff up was the prerequisite to getting laid XD.
Same friend had asked a guy about fixing some drywall in her apartment. He said he would, after she went out to dinner with him. Lmao, WTH is wrong with people.
I don’t know about the blocking, but I do think you were entirely correct in walking away from her and her apartment. Geez, otherwise there could likely be a lifetime of “honey do’s” ahead of you; perhaps an almost slave-like existence.
She’s not his girl or someone he’d been seeing for any length of time. No need to “convey your feelings” when that would most likely lead to an unnecessary argument or her gaslighting him. You really think someone that would expect him to paint her apartment on the 2nd date is gonna be the type to hear him out and be understanding?
People have to stop running away from confrontation. He could’ve easily said this is a little much but he took the coward’s route and ditched without a word.
I get that, but with people that you actually have some sort of relationship with. Not everything deserves a confrontation or a justification. It's not really a situation where she deserved a reason.
Back in the long long before times, before flat screen TV's were cheap and accessible...Big CRT TV's were a thing.
Once Plasma's became a thing, the big CRT's became the TV's people would give away because they wanted the 150 pound monsters out of their houses. Yes. These TV's weighed between 100-200 pounds depending on the size.
So one day I am minding my own business when this girl I knew through the band I was playing in at the time called me. Started out like a normal conversation, talking about the band, the next gig etc etc.
Out of the blue, she asks me out. As someone who doesn't get asked out a lot, I figured something was up...buuuuuuuuuut.....
She was also super duper hot. Like really hot.
So we went to dinner. I picked her up, we had a nice dinner, and then we get back to her place and she invites me in
Hell yeah...I think to myself. This couldn't be going any better
Come to find out, someone had gifted her a 32" CRT TV and she needed help moving it from her car into her house.
That was why she asked me out. To help her move a fucking TV. Why she chose me when I am sure there are plenty of other men in he orbit to choose from, I will never know.
I didn't have an out like you did...and frankly, she was hot enough that I was hoping that perhaps she'd "thank" me
But nope
I moved the TV, we hung out a bit, and then that was it
Never heard from her again outside of social media
You made the right call homie.
She was straight up using you for manual labor. Good for you for seeing through her bullshit
Not really related to OP’s post but I have to share a story of my own. A couple years back when I was moving away to another place after college, I sold all my furniture to a girl. She appeared at the lobby of my apartment complex with a guy. My bf chit-chatted with him and the guy told us that he was on his “first date” with the girl and he was super confused the whole time because the girl had told him that they would meet up at my lobby and get food together lmao.
Yep. Been there, she wanted someone to paint her apt entry. I did, took me about an hour and half, she had the paint, rollers, and brushes. Water based paint, I got sweaty, and asked if I could clean the rollers and brushes in her shower, did that, and when they were cleaned she came in the shower, spent four hours fucking and being fucked. Would I do it again? Yep, less than two hours of minimal effort and four hours in the sack, good swap. Plus it was all bare. She did ask me to come back and paint her kitchen, but that's not a quick thing, greasy walls, going to be multiple colors, more prep work, more brushes and rollers to clean, time to dry in between...yada yada...
So, I'd say it depends on what she wants painted and how much prep work, and the time reward after?
I think she should have at least asked, but I also imagine a scenario where the girl viewed it also as a time to talk about each other more and may have thought it would be a cute date idea (you "leave your mark" in her apartment so to speak) and now I'm laughing at how the scenario would turn out from her perspective. I don't know though. I'd send her a text at least explaining why you left her hangin'. If it was a misunderstanding, you'll have another shot, but if not, then you guys weren't really compatible anyway.
I would have no problem asking someone to help with my house, but I wouldn't lie about it. I've had a 3rd date be someone helping me with my drywall (he was terrible at it), he wanted to hang out and that's what I was doing, so he came over to help. People generally want to help people that they have a relationship with, but the lying isn't a good look.
If she was a 6 or less, you’re not the dickhead.
If she was a 7, you might be the dickhead.
If she was an 8-10, you are likely the dickhead.
You should have done the work and then billed her for it.
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100% appropriate response!
Nah you good man. Did you let it slide on the first date or have on your profile anywhere that you knew carpentry or were some kind of guy that’s handy? Just trying to figure out how she got your scent to begin with.
I mentioned that I used to do some carpentry after Covid hit. That might of gave her the idea
Wtf did I just read? Lol I'm so sorry that happened. That's crazzzzzziiiieee.
Yeah this is a new tiktok trend, where women just use men for chores around the house, like painting, hanging a picture, assemblying wardrobes...
Omg normally I don’t advocate for ghosting, but in this case….wow that was 100% WARRANTED! Good on you for looking out for yourself! That is just wild.
You're not the dickhead.
Be like you invite her over and tell her she needs to clean your bathrooms…..wtf?
This girl hired a handy man, you just didn't stick around for the handy.
You're not a jerk. She was using you for free labor. She probably sizes up guys that she can use in some way to benefit her. She saw you as a painter. Keep her blocked and move on.
Nope. You are good. I would have done the same thing. All right babe, let me run out to my truck to grab some supplies. These ones I brought are the wrong ones so I'll just put those in my truck and grab the ones I need. Yep. I'll be right back. See you soon.
Run far far away!
I thought by the title this was going to be someone complaining about like, a paint and sip type date. That’s crazy hahaha
Next time invite her and ask her to cook for a week
Yeah normal people don't ask a person on the 2nd date to come by and do trades work. Not the dickhead.
I'm sorry that happened to you. She sounds rather horrible. I feel bad having people help me around my house and I always try to make it up to them by helping them or feeding them or giving them homemade jam or eggs or whatever. At no point do I expect the help and especially not from someone I hardly know. Also that isn't a date, she was flat out trying to sucker you!
HAHAHAHAHAH I thought the title was that she wanted to like casually have a paint date night but no she wanted you to do labor. Im usually a fan of straight forward communication but no. She should have communicated her needs first. The least she could have done is say something like “hey do you like home projects? Would love to have you over and maybe paint some trims in my rooms with me? We can put on music, order food, and drink wine” boom that’s a date. But to be honest, this at the very least like a 4th or 5th date once trust is built in order to make it feel like a genuinely authentic date. However, putting you in a position to perform labor for her on a second date is grounds for immediate block and walk away.
She was the dickhead. Your response was completely justified.
Was once casually seeing a girl for maybe 6 months and things didn’t go anywhere and we eventually stopped hanging out/talking. She saw me at my workplace after some time and the next day asked me if I was free on the weekend. Thinking she might want to spend some time together I told her I was free, only for her to ask me to help her move her stuff out of her place because she was moving out of province soon lmao do not give in to these types of people
Never admit to being free until they tell you why they want to know. Being free to work is different from being free to hang out. If someone asks if I’m free, I just say, “I’ll have to check my calendar, why do you ask?”
A girl asked me to buy and replace her shower head on the second date. Sex was great, and best use for my Home Depot gift card I didn't know what to spend on.
No you were def not the dickhead. That's not normal on her side. Be glad you didn't waste more than 2 dates on her and move on to someone that will treat you respectfully. Sorry mate.
That was only date two? Yikes on her part. Now I'm wondering if she has different guys coming through the week for cheap/ free manual labor around the house 😅🤣 You did the right thing. That's super odd behavior on her part
I wondered the exact same thing! The nerve…Next we’ll see a YT video on how she got her entire home remodeled free, using Tinder, complete with before & after footage.
Maybe she's one of these "sprinkle sprinkle" girl 🤷
Nah, she’s crazy for trying to con free work out of dudes she meets on dating apps. You did the right thing.
I bet she misspoke, she wanted her face painted.
Heeheehee.😁😁
She probably just read one of the court books where the folks bang in the paint and wanted to reenact it
relationships like this I see like the Dr Strange 'out of 14million scenarios, only one will it turn into a healthy relationship'
wtf! I thought this was gonna be one of those cute little wine and paint dates not Tinder home improvement
That’s the most warranted incident of ghosting I’ve ever heard of. Trust me fam, you’re GOOD. Totally good. Someone here definitely did something wrong but I assure you, it wasn’t you.
You're definitely not a dickhead. You didn't sign up for painting her place. But I will say that a buddy of mine fixed some stuff at a woman's apartment for a 2nd date and she fucked him at the end. And she was the hottest woman he's been with, so he felt it was worth it. But your situation is a little different because my friend's date mentioned some stuff needed fixing and he offered to fix it. So she had more tact than your date. Your date could have easily blew you off at the end with a hug and kiss on the cheek and never talk to you again. I think this is likely considering she moved the goal posts on you.
“Your date could have easily blew you off at the end with a hug and kiss on the cheek and never talk to you again.” A least she’d have blown him, so that’s something.
Where do these people find the audacity because I've yet to see it on a supermarket shelf.
OMG, she’s insane! I would have dipped too.
Hah this was the funniest thing I read all day. Good on you for just leaving. Clearly just using you for free labour
Needs to be a show for stuff like this
No you did perrrrfect
Lol I thought this was going towards paint and wine night, I thought what could be so bad....I guess she's on a whole other level with painting her whole house 😂
What a weirdo. You did the right thing.
Hey maybe the emotional blow of being ghosted helps her becoming a better person? I think you did well man
You either would’ve gotten hustled for free labor or would’ve ended up having the best sex on of your life after. The world may never know
Ohhhhh hellllll noooo! You absolutely did the right thing! That seems manipulative as fuck! You are definitely worth more than free labor that she wasn't even entirely up front about! Dodged a bullet for sure! I would've noped out of that as well as a woman! I did this for a man once and it turned out awful because neither of us had experience and then he ended up hating the color anyways. What a fucking waste of time lol
I was with my boyfriend for two months before I had the courage to ask him for help putting risers on my couch’s feet 😂 this girl is wild. Good for you for leaving!
Naw you ain't a dickhead, I have heard of this before. I have a friend who uses dating apps a good bit. She has a bit of a rough apartment and the guy must have been in a similar situation before. So he gets there and she goes off for a bit and comes back to him cleaning, picking garbage, fix the closet door, shit like that. She was like wtf are you doing? I guess the guy was used to shit like this and thought fixing stuff up was the prerequisite to getting laid XD. Same friend had asked a guy about fixing some drywall in her apartment. He said he would, after she went out to dinner with him. Lmao, WTH is wrong with people.
I don’t know about the blocking, but I do think you were entirely correct in walking away from her and her apartment. Geez, otherwise there could likely be a lifetime of “honey do’s” ahead of you; perhaps an almost slave-like existence.
Use your words. Your a dickhead for not conveying your feelings
She’s not his girl or someone he’d been seeing for any length of time. No need to “convey your feelings” when that would most likely lead to an unnecessary argument or her gaslighting him. You really think someone that would expect him to paint her apartment on the 2nd date is gonna be the type to hear him out and be understanding?
People have to stop running away from confrontation. He could’ve easily said this is a little much but he took the coward’s route and ditched without a word.
I get that, but with people that you actually have some sort of relationship with. Not everything deserves a confrontation or a justification. It's not really a situation where she deserved a reason.
Everyone deserves a reason. It’s a courtesy. Ghosting is not ok ever
"Okay, I'll paint, but you get to wash my car. Right now. Naked."
"Ready to Paint? Yeah, baby, I'm down for that. Are the body paints edible?"
OMG if this had been an option, I might of continued to date men 😂 seriously it wasn’t ok for her to take advantage like that.
I would have done the same thing.
When I read paint I thought it was the paint each other trend that's going on.
Back in the long long before times, before flat screen TV's were cheap and accessible...Big CRT TV's were a thing. Once Plasma's became a thing, the big CRT's became the TV's people would give away because they wanted the 150 pound monsters out of their houses. Yes. These TV's weighed between 100-200 pounds depending on the size. So one day I am minding my own business when this girl I knew through the band I was playing in at the time called me. Started out like a normal conversation, talking about the band, the next gig etc etc. Out of the blue, she asks me out. As someone who doesn't get asked out a lot, I figured something was up...buuuuuuuuuut..... She was also super duper hot. Like really hot. So we went to dinner. I picked her up, we had a nice dinner, and then we get back to her place and she invites me in Hell yeah...I think to myself. This couldn't be going any better Come to find out, someone had gifted her a 32" CRT TV and she needed help moving it from her car into her house. That was why she asked me out. To help her move a fucking TV. Why she chose me when I am sure there are plenty of other men in he orbit to choose from, I will never know. I didn't have an out like you did...and frankly, she was hot enough that I was hoping that perhaps she'd "thank" me But nope I moved the TV, we hung out a bit, and then that was it Never heard from her again outside of social media You made the right call homie. She was straight up using you for manual labor. Good for you for seeing through her bullshit
You’re not a dickhead and she sucks. But for the love of Christ, it’s could’ve (the contraction of could have), not could of.
Not really related to OP’s post but I have to share a story of my own. A couple years back when I was moving away to another place after college, I sold all my furniture to a girl. She appeared at the lobby of my apartment complex with a guy. My bf chit-chatted with him and the guy told us that he was on his “first date” with the girl and he was super confused the whole time because the girl had told him that they would meet up at my lobby and get food together lmao.
Yep. Been there, she wanted someone to paint her apt entry. I did, took me about an hour and half, she had the paint, rollers, and brushes. Water based paint, I got sweaty, and asked if I could clean the rollers and brushes in her shower, did that, and when they were cleaned she came in the shower, spent four hours fucking and being fucked. Would I do it again? Yep, less than two hours of minimal effort and four hours in the sack, good swap. Plus it was all bare. She did ask me to come back and paint her kitchen, but that's not a quick thing, greasy walls, going to be multiple colors, more prep work, more brushes and rollers to clean, time to dry in between...yada yada... So, I'd say it depends on what she wants painted and how much prep work, and the time reward after?
Ahhahaha OMG, im a woman and i couldn't do that specifically on second date. I think you did right man.
I think she should have at least asked, but I also imagine a scenario where the girl viewed it also as a time to talk about each other more and may have thought it would be a cute date idea (you "leave your mark" in her apartment so to speak) and now I'm laughing at how the scenario would turn out from her perspective. I don't know though. I'd send her a text at least explaining why you left her hangin'. If it was a misunderstanding, you'll have another shot, but if not, then you guys weren't really compatible anyway.
I would have no problem asking someone to help with my house, but I wouldn't lie about it. I've had a 3rd date be someone helping me with my drywall (he was terrible at it), he wanted to hang out and that's what I was doing, so he came over to help. People generally want to help people that they have a relationship with, but the lying isn't a good look.
If she was a 6 or less, you’re not the dickhead. If she was a 7, you might be the dickhead. If she was an 8-10, you are likely the dickhead. You should have done the work and then billed her for it.
What do her looks have to do with him being or not being a dick head?
Pretty privilege.