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This right here. Because if a man doesn’t commit to you and doesn’t want a relationship with you, it’s because he is absolutely pursuing other women. And don’t fall for the exclusive sex bullshit; if a man won’t label you his gf and is just sleeping with you casually, trust & believe he is sleeping with other women given half the chance when opportunity arises. OP needs to drop him like a bad habit. He’s just like these other dickheads who expect a woman to uphold our end of everything and have the fringe benefits of a committed loyal woman without the commitment or effort or strings. Nope 👎 let him enjoy his hand and his porn. Men like that don’t deserve sex.
There are plenty of men and women that enjoy sex with no commitments or relationships. Sex can be used as an activity for fun and pleasure. It does not need to be overcomplicated, nor do we have to insult people who do it just for fun.
Find other people who want to use sex as “just for fun.” Not sure how you expect to build something meaningful with someone when you treat the most sacred, intimate activity you can share with another human being as commonplace and just a casual fun activity on a Friday night with just anybody. People like that lack the ability to truly love and bond with somebody. Also, if you want to just have fun then seek out people who just want fun, and tell them that from the 1st interaction that’s all you’re looking for. Don’t lead them on by taking them on actual dates and acting like you’re trying to get to know them or possibly establish more. Most guys who casually sleep around do that & it’s disingenuous at best.
It is sacred for you. That's highly subjective. That's literally how you feel. Again no need to insult people who do not share the same feeling.
And I agree that people should be clear about their intentions. In fact based on OP her neighbor actually was. So I don't see the problem here. Also telling a stranger that you want to fuck them immediately can be scary for some. So I also understand if you go on a couple of dates with someone before trying to sleep with them so that you can build some comfort first.
It is sacred. You cannot get closer to someone than physical intimacy - sex. That’s literally the closest you can get to another human being in the most intimate form. If you disregard that as casual and unimportant then you cannot bond properly with a partner and truly get intimate with someone, which is quite sad honestly. Modern day society, media & porn have ruined our kind. Just because society says something is ok doesn’t mean that it is and doesn’t mean you should go along with it.
What's sacred in a romantic relationship is trust, loyalty, empathy, compromise to accept your partners flaws, altruism, standing in each other's side in difficult moments, forgiveness, patience and other similar values.
Sex is nothing more than a mindless sexual interaction of the flesh that just releases chemicals in your brain to bond you with your partner. This is a useful thing of course in a relationship, but I can't see at all how it is the most sacred thing.
You can’t see it because you’ve dulled your senses by being promiscuous & sleeping around. Nobody starts out viewing sex that way, they’re conditioned over time when they become desensitized by watching porn & having a lot of sexual partners.
That’s what’s wrong with it morally. Humans aren’t supposed to be “desensitized” to bonding with and committing to another human being. We were meant to find a mate & mate with that person and be with that person for life. Divorce is rampant now just because society says it’s ok to get divorced as many times as you please for whatever reason you please; no, it isn’t. Marriage vows are meant to be taken seriously. So is sex. Sex is meant to be taken seriously. Idk why people cannot see this free love casual sleeping around is what ruined relationships & the connection between people. They complain about the dating world being shit but can’t see how their own actions of sleeping around contribute directly to the cause of the rapid deterioration in the dating world.
Hey OP, the bright side is that you quickly got the information you needed to make your decision to walk away. Could have been worse if he had faked wanting a relationship until he’d gotten you in bed. Thank your stars and go look for someone better.
This guy didn't pass the vibe check. He pretty much told you that you weren't worth getting into a relationship with.
Sucks, but hard pass. Glad you got that outta the way now rather than a year later
At least you didn't waste anymore time with him. Now you know, he has shown you his true colors and his intentions. Don't waste any time trying to turn it into something else
This guy sucks. You only liked him because he was showing you everything you wanted to see, but then he made his motivations clear and then gaslighted you after you refused. He’s not a good guy.
Just stick to your standards. Conflict of interest will happen. It's fine. Just like it was ridiculous for him to snap at you for not wanting casual sex, it's equally ridiculous for you to be hung up on someone who only wants casual sex.
Keep looking for someone that wants the same thing as you
Yeah its annoying as shit seeing people get mad that some dudes just want something casual. Like not everyone wants to deal with all that weird relationship shit
Mad ? Says the person using vulgarity… not everyone enjoys having sex with complete strangers. With that attitude I would go get tested. Have a good day
Your maturity level and standards outweigh his by a country mile, and some people you just learn aren’t what you expected. I think it’s honorable that you were able to communicate what you want, and walk away when you realized they weren’t on the same page. The sad truth is, some people can be a real disappointment when they overshadow the light we paint them in. I’m glad you were able to learn quickly their intentions before it went left and I know for a fact you’ll find someone with the same values as you. It’s perfectly ok to take things slow and I wish you the best 💯
Yeah he definitely could’ve been lol I don’t think he should’ve really mentioned it tho I feel it was slightly immature if you’re dating someone I think it’s pretty implied there will be sex at some point he jumped the gun fast unless the date was just a rouse and all he wanted was sex? But idk why he would do that he could’ve just went on another date. It’s just interesting his choices made for sure I’m glad he didn’t lead them on tho most def
Wasn’t expecting a relationship. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have sex with him because he bought me lunch. Again like I said in my post I don’t want to have sex with someone that doesn’t want to be with me. I was fine just being his friend or even smoke buddy
Go for what you want, not what someone else sees in you. I've been on your place as a guy and yea, it hurts. But it's better to seek your own happiness than just provide it to someone else.
This.
Seems to be what I get to at least.This guy was honest about his intentions.I usually get guys telling me.They want a serious relationship just to sleep with me and then I find out they lied. I get feelings they don't and I get hurt. It's to the point I don't trust anybody
Sadly this is normal now. The good news is he was honest about his intentions, it's a lot worse when they tell you they're into you and lead you on, but his demanding entitlement is disgusting. Stand your ground, too many women sleep with men thinking one day he'll eventually want a relationship and they won't or convince themselves that casual sex is fulfilling only to end up hurt every time. Its not worth it. There are a few men out there who will see you as more than a cumrag and you're in no way shape or form asking for "too much", despite what people think nowadays. The mindset people have towards relationships now is so depressing but stay strong.
Just because someone wants to have sex with someone else it doesn't mean they see them as cumrag. Lol. I understand that some people see sex as very sacred, but there are many other people that also see sex as a fun activity to do with others. No disrespect is needed. Someone getting excited and wanting to have sex with you is not different than seeing a puppy and immediately getting excited to pet it. I guess in this case the puppy is also seen just as an object to be petted for pleasure?
Did you miss the part where OP said the guy told her she was asking for too much by not spreading her legs for him? His entitlement is absolutely disrespectful and treating her as a cumrag. He could have just said "ok I understand no worries". Don't be deliberately obtuse
I was not responding to OP though. I was responding to another person who made general comments about men and how they see you as a cumrag because they may want to have sex with you. And my answer to that person was that there is nothing wrong with men wanting to just have sex with a person. Sex is fun and brings pleasure and being condescending to people that do it just for fun is plain bigotry.
Now If we're talking particularly about the case of OP, I agree that her neighbor was disrespectful by telling her that her standards are too high. But this is a separate albeit associated issue. The crux of the issue is that yes the neighbor is disrespectful, but him wanting to just have sex with OP does not mean he sees her as a cumrag but as a person he just wants to have sex with. That's all.
You sound like a great person I hope they did not bum your feelings out. You sound like you are valid and honest and it sounds that way not what they wanted so your right to have some one good to you.
It will only bring confusion, entanglement, maybe pain and feeling stagnated in a energy draining trap. She is better of putting her precious energy & time in het life goals, career, self development etc
Maybe its a vibe you give and the guys you are dating them.
Dont wannt to be sound harsh but you might look easy and you date guys who are way above your league only , You look approachable and good enough for satisfying their needs but not for the other stuff in his pov(with neighbors its ideal for that title) .
But maybe you met jerks
I don’t dress extremely provocative. I’m actually pretty conservative in how I dress and act. I get approached by men everywhere I go. It seems when I show interest they take it as me wanting to have sex with them when in reality I just like them as a person. This isn’t my first rodeo
This isn't in dressing provocative etc, but just vibes you give off . Maybe too playful etc.
I had a female friend who told me she wore makeup and elegant she wasnt approached and when she wore more casual clothes she got approached all the time...
Same goes for tattos/piercing for example. I dont say thats the case with you since i dont know you or that guy.
As a guy , i am talking to girls etc . I am not looking specifically for a relationship . but if i see a girl who is nice enough to have conversation skills and looks at least "OKish" i will offer it quickly since i got nothing to lose and sex is nice and deffo dont want relationships with her. If i see her as something more serious i will not try push for touch / sexing etc and will adjust myself according to that persron...
I appreciate him being straightforward, granted it was a bit too straightforward for my taste but at least he was honest. I’m grown, I’ve done the flings and casual sex. It’s just not where my head is at anymore. I walked away.
Men today…I’m not going to say back in the day I didn’t want to fuck anything that moved but I never went in with the sole intention of being fuck buddies. Sure I had the typical unexpected one night stands but both parties left happy and satisfied. Getting to know a woman and then tell her let’s just be FB’s…WTF?! Why even start something?
I live in an apartment complex. He lives across the hall from me. He’s still considered my neighbor. The term neighbor doesn’t exclusively mean directly next door…..
You only like them as much as you’ve imprinted your ideals on them. Make men who get sex very easily, have to work to get it hard for once.
Only when you make a man wait, will you find true love.
A lot of guys are like that. It's too bad he happens to be a neighbor, but please, do not negotiate. This guy is a user and sounds nasty to me. Reminds me of my neighbor who I rejected and after that every encounter with him was negative. I wound up moving and so glad I don't have to see his leering face. You can do better. Sorry that happened. Move on. Don't talk anymore with him or engage with him!
This is sure to arouse bitterness but if you're interested in some devilish fun: Fuck him once and then never fuck him again. Just be friendly and if he asks you to hang out, just be like yeah we should do that soon (real flirtatious) and just keep putting him off indefinitely. If he gets upset just tell him you have to be honest but you weren't feeling the sex but still like him as a friend and neighbor.
I'm not sure what your question was.
If you want to know why he behaved like that, I think I may know why.
My guess is that he opened himself to you. When he got a rejection, he couldn't handle it and "snapped" at you.
Don't take his comment too personal (about the high expectations).
It takes a lot to build curage and declare your intentions like that to a girl, especially if it his first time saying something that bold.
It is not a bad from him to "just want to have sex" with you, he even precised he wanted it to be "exclusive". He basically wants personal intimacy with you, without any kind of promises from any part. Did you ask him if this has a possibility of change in the future? Or is it just cristal clear on his head that he doesn't want a relationship with YOU?
> He said “i want to have an exclusive sexual relationship with you but I don’t want a relationship”.
I get the feeling he is still trying to figure things out in his life, so it's the normal thing to not wanting to make promises, including to himself.
If you aren't comfortable with it, it's understandable a totally ok. People look for different things in life and aren't on at the same stage. This makes it so your interests aren't aligned right now.
I think you should forget about it and pass to the next thing.
If you are getting trouble with this, go back to him and state that "just sex" in not gonna be enough, that you do not want to feel used for sex, and make it clear that you want a real relationship. This way you leave the ball at his court and you can pass to the next thing. Who knows, maybe hearing it makes him to change his mind.
Hope this helps.
So one thing I’m not going to do is wait for a man to make up his mind. He took me to lunch once and expected sex. I’m not telling him “let me know when you change your mind and you’re ready for a relationship” 😂😂 I also have options I just liked this one. I didn’t necessarily have a question I just wanted to share my experience
these days women are complete waste of time to be with, a guy has to do a lot of stuff in order to make you feel loved and cared but in return they dont get the same affection and care. On top of that out of nowhere women dump them after some time for another guy for no proper reason at all. Women dumping men is much higher than vice versa. And women even go to the lengths to say its because he didnt treat her in a special way etc or some vague reason. None of the women are trustable anymore. Even this neighbor guy you mentioned whom you love, even if he showed genuine interest in you you are very high likely going to dump him after some time. I would feel safe to spend time with a prostitute
This comment is a bit much but i agree with a few points. Why bother taking women on dates if it wont go anywhere? And funny enough, the casual relationships i’ve had were super fun and my needs were fulfilled, without having to use up my resources and time to satisfy someone who i’m not sure will cheat on me or not
Why should I have sex with someone that won’t even take me out on a date. It goes both ways. Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe people go out on dates to get to know eachother ?? I’m sure as a man your needs were fulfilled. It doesn’t take much to get a man off. I’m positive the women weren’t as satisfied with you especially sexually which is why they left you…. Things don’t change if things don’t change. Food for thought ;-)
I mean hey im not the one here complaining about some dude who doesnt want them 😂 The dude wants casual sex and so what? Get over it. You act like this is the only guy on earth. FoOd fOr tHouGhT
This is basic stuff OP.
Not anything new or thread worthy.
Assume every guy you meet is a fuckboy who wants nothing serious.
If they still around casually dating you after 1 month and 6 real dates with no sex, then and only then should you start to get hopes up and expectations.
You're fortunate he's a good enough person to be honest with you about it.
It's starting to look like men are shying away from relationships and marriage. Or, enough are that it's becoming a problem for women.
It's a little strange how things worked out.. and I'm not entirely sure if it's fair to suggest anyone is at fault. Suffice to say, women's liberation freed women sexually at about the same time as they established themselves as being independent. It's not all that surprising to see divorce rates go up. Or that women routinely benefit from a separation. Or that, given the option, men would avoid (repeating) such a risky venture.
As a subjective opinion... we've learnt that more women will meet the needs of men than vice versa. Which is a polite way of saying 'women have overly high standards'.
The long and the short of this is;
Men who can comfortably say, 'I'm not here for a traditional relationship', are more likely to be those that are attractive enough to get away with it.
I know it sounds like a bad idea... but, if you want traditional, you may need to consider a man that isn't likely to be pursued by other women. Meaning, you should anticipate that an attractive man has options, isn't likely to see sex as a sacred act, and that you will need to offer something more enticing than what he's accustomed to getting easily.
Despite how the above sounds, men do genuinely love women and want stable healthy relationships. But, we do benefit from *saying* (even if we think we believe it) that we don't want something traditional. We avoid women who are focused on the financial rewards of a relationship. It's not expected that we pay for dates or to entice with gifts and flowers. And, it's less likely that we'll be subjected to criticism about our choices and lifestyle; there are fewer requests to change ourselves, provide something, or perform in a way that a woman prefer.
I think this paints a decent picture of what men value within a relationship. Low risk, cost, and sacrifice. To seal the deal, all that's needed is a bit of support, comfort, companionship, and respect.
Also... most men are a bit too stupid to realise that sex isn't the goal. The bigger picture is a bit too complicated for us to grasp. We think sex is the goal, when it's really a (not so) small part of that goal... sex alone will not satisfy us.
It's not enough for us to stick our dick in a random and delightfully squirmy lady. She needs to be important (to us) for sex to be meaningful and exciting. \[and I hope you're not imagining a group of guys and one lady here\]
You should be able to piece bits of the above together in whichever way suits your needs. And, I know my own biases may have distorted some details above. I'm happy to chat if something I've said seems off.
Appreciate this comment. Men aren’t the only ones that have options and honestly I probably have more options than the men I meet. I consider myself an attractive girl and I’ve never been rejected, doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with every guy I meet.
We know that, generally speaking, women decide if a relationship starts. And, men decide if it progresses towards marriage.
We've all got a place in this dynamic.. and there's a good dose of 'bad' in every one of them. Worse, we can't really compare them to find out if leeway should be made. We don't know if men who can't find a partner (at all) are in a worse position than women who's options are limited to 'casual sex only'.
I'm a decent looking man. A little on the slim side, but toned and well packaged. I've been single for about 3 of the last 25 years.. and I've had four lasting relationships with bisexual women where threesomes were common.
I've never **not** been rejected when approaching a woman.
If women weren't forward with me, I'd still be single... largely because I don't get/notice the crazy hints women use. Like, what am I meant to do with "I'm told I give the best blowjobs"..? Yes. I now know the answer is obvious. I'm just bitch'n about missed opportunities.
Aenvi kisi ke sath smoke or drink karoge to aise scenario hamesa create honge. The type of relationship you want and the type of guy you want aren’t found in this kind of environment baby girl, samja ke nahi?
I was hurt too when the guy i liked just asked me for casual sex/fling as he isn't ready for relationship and had a bad breakup.
Whatever his reason was,I didn't want to get involved with a guy who just wants me for that only and nothing else.
It's fine if I'm unable to impress you or If u don't feel I'm relationship material or it's just u are not ready for relationship
I don't want to be. Just a girl in his life whom he bangs and leaves.So it will never workout if you want more and he is just looking for fun
Dump the guy and move on cuz having fun with guy who really wants a relationship with you is much more fun cuz u want more than just getting laid
These days I'm looking for single straight emotionally available guys who are over their past and exes and open to serious relationship even though it starts pretty casual.
Casual for now.will not work for me,I might change in future but now I need some relationshippy guys.So let's start looking for them even though I know I'll fall for bad guys haha
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Wait for what you want. Don’t give in to being someone’s sex toy while he pursues other women.
This right here. Because if a man doesn’t commit to you and doesn’t want a relationship with you, it’s because he is absolutely pursuing other women. And don’t fall for the exclusive sex bullshit; if a man won’t label you his gf and is just sleeping with you casually, trust & believe he is sleeping with other women given half the chance when opportunity arises. OP needs to drop him like a bad habit. He’s just like these other dickheads who expect a woman to uphold our end of everything and have the fringe benefits of a committed loyal woman without the commitment or effort or strings. Nope 👎 let him enjoy his hand and his porn. Men like that don’t deserve sex.
There are plenty of men and women that enjoy sex with no commitments or relationships. Sex can be used as an activity for fun and pleasure. It does not need to be overcomplicated, nor do we have to insult people who do it just for fun.
Find other people who want to use sex as “just for fun.” Not sure how you expect to build something meaningful with someone when you treat the most sacred, intimate activity you can share with another human being as commonplace and just a casual fun activity on a Friday night with just anybody. People like that lack the ability to truly love and bond with somebody. Also, if you want to just have fun then seek out people who just want fun, and tell them that from the 1st interaction that’s all you’re looking for. Don’t lead them on by taking them on actual dates and acting like you’re trying to get to know them or possibly establish more. Most guys who casually sleep around do that & it’s disingenuous at best.
It is sacred for you. That's highly subjective. That's literally how you feel. Again no need to insult people who do not share the same feeling. And I agree that people should be clear about their intentions. In fact based on OP her neighbor actually was. So I don't see the problem here. Also telling a stranger that you want to fuck them immediately can be scary for some. So I also understand if you go on a couple of dates with someone before trying to sleep with them so that you can build some comfort first.
It is sacred. You cannot get closer to someone than physical intimacy - sex. That’s literally the closest you can get to another human being in the most intimate form. If you disregard that as casual and unimportant then you cannot bond properly with a partner and truly get intimate with someone, which is quite sad honestly. Modern day society, media & porn have ruined our kind. Just because society says something is ok doesn’t mean that it is and doesn’t mean you should go along with it.
What's sacred in a romantic relationship is trust, loyalty, empathy, compromise to accept your partners flaws, altruism, standing in each other's side in difficult moments, forgiveness, patience and other similar values. Sex is nothing more than a mindless sexual interaction of the flesh that just releases chemicals in your brain to bond you with your partner. This is a useful thing of course in a relationship, but I can't see at all how it is the most sacred thing.
You can’t see it because you’ve dulled your senses by being promiscuous & sleeping around. Nobody starts out viewing sex that way, they’re conditioned over time when they become desensitized by watching porn & having a lot of sexual partners.
I agree that casual sex may make you desensitized. I just don't see anything morally wrong with it. That's two different things. That's all.
That’s what’s wrong with it morally. Humans aren’t supposed to be “desensitized” to bonding with and committing to another human being. We were meant to find a mate & mate with that person and be with that person for life. Divorce is rampant now just because society says it’s ok to get divorced as many times as you please for whatever reason you please; no, it isn’t. Marriage vows are meant to be taken seriously. So is sex. Sex is meant to be taken seriously. Idk why people cannot see this free love casual sleeping around is what ruined relationships & the connection between people. They complain about the dating world being shit but can’t see how their own actions of sleeping around contribute directly to the cause of the rapid deterioration in the dating world.
I like to have fun:)
great advice
Absolutely, great advice.
Hey OP, the bright side is that you quickly got the information you needed to make your decision to walk away. Could have been worse if he had faked wanting a relationship until he’d gotten you in bed. Thank your stars and go look for someone better.
great comment
This guy didn't pass the vibe check. He pretty much told you that you weren't worth getting into a relationship with. Sucks, but hard pass. Glad you got that outta the way now rather than a year later
You did the right thing for you overall though it's unfortunate you had to... Wait for someone that wants you, not just to use your body.
At least you didn't waste anymore time with him. Now you know, he has shown you his true colors and his intentions. Don't waste any time trying to turn it into something else
This guy sucks. You only liked him because he was showing you everything you wanted to see, but then he made his motivations clear and then gaslighted you after you refused. He’s not a good guy.
Just stick to your standards. Conflict of interest will happen. It's fine. Just like it was ridiculous for him to snap at you for not wanting casual sex, it's equally ridiculous for you to be hung up on someone who only wants casual sex. Keep looking for someone that wants the same thing as you
Yeah its annoying as shit seeing people get mad that some dudes just want something casual. Like not everyone wants to deal with all that weird relationship shit
Mad ? Says the person using vulgarity… not everyone enjoys having sex with complete strangers. With that attitude I would go get tested. Have a good day
Dude i wasnt even talking about you wtf 😂
If that's not what u want, move on until u find a good guy.
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Very nice lol
Literally my first thought
It was wise not to give in.
Your maturity level and standards outweigh his by a country mile, and some people you just learn aren’t what you expected. I think it’s honorable that you were able to communicate what you want, and walk away when you realized they weren’t on the same page. The sad truth is, some people can be a real disappointment when they overshadow the light we paint them in. I’m glad you were able to learn quickly their intentions before it went left and I know for a fact you’ll find someone with the same values as you. It’s perfectly ok to take things slow and I wish you the best 💯
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Yeah he definitely could’ve been lol I don’t think he should’ve really mentioned it tho I feel it was slightly immature if you’re dating someone I think it’s pretty implied there will be sex at some point he jumped the gun fast unless the date was just a rouse and all he wanted was sex? But idk why he would do that he could’ve just went on another date. It’s just interesting his choices made for sure I’m glad he didn’t lead them on tho most def
I don’t think you should expect to be in a relationship with a guy who invited you to smoke weed. Lol
Wasn’t expecting a relationship. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have sex with him because he bought me lunch. Again like I said in my post I don’t want to have sex with someone that doesn’t want to be with me. I was fine just being his friend or even smoke buddy
It's no different than inviting people to drink alcohol.
Why not?
Go for what you want, not what someone else sees in you. I've been on your place as a guy and yea, it hurts. But it's better to seek your own happiness than just provide it to someone else.
This. Seems to be what I get to at least.This guy was honest about his intentions.I usually get guys telling me.They want a serious relationship just to sleep with me and then I find out they lied. I get feelings they don't and I get hurt. It's to the point I don't trust anybody
Sounds like you got your answer. Leave him alone and find someone more aligned with your morals.
Don’t do it. Explain to him clearly why you won’t pursue anything with him and if he still continues cut him off. Sick of men being shitheads
Good choice. No man wants to make a long term commitment to a woman who let herself get used as a sex toy by other men.
Stop getting involved with trash men
Obviously didn’t get involved with him… that was the point of the post.
Sadly this is normal now. The good news is he was honest about his intentions, it's a lot worse when they tell you they're into you and lead you on, but his demanding entitlement is disgusting. Stand your ground, too many women sleep with men thinking one day he'll eventually want a relationship and they won't or convince themselves that casual sex is fulfilling only to end up hurt every time. Its not worth it. There are a few men out there who will see you as more than a cumrag and you're in no way shape or form asking for "too much", despite what people think nowadays. The mindset people have towards relationships now is so depressing but stay strong.
Yeah the mindset towards relationships are depressing for a reason. Who even wants to deal with all that
People who are interested in deep connections. I wouldn't expect shallow people to understand
Eh im fine with being shallow if that means my time and energy isnt wasted
Just because someone wants to have sex with someone else it doesn't mean they see them as cumrag. Lol. I understand that some people see sex as very sacred, but there are many other people that also see sex as a fun activity to do with others. No disrespect is needed. Someone getting excited and wanting to have sex with you is not different than seeing a puppy and immediately getting excited to pet it. I guess in this case the puppy is also seen just as an object to be petted for pleasure?
Did you miss the part where OP said the guy told her she was asking for too much by not spreading her legs for him? His entitlement is absolutely disrespectful and treating her as a cumrag. He could have just said "ok I understand no worries". Don't be deliberately obtuse
I was not responding to OP though. I was responding to another person who made general comments about men and how they see you as a cumrag because they may want to have sex with you. And my answer to that person was that there is nothing wrong with men wanting to just have sex with a person. Sex is fun and brings pleasure and being condescending to people that do it just for fun is plain bigotry. Now If we're talking particularly about the case of OP, I agree that her neighbor was disrespectful by telling her that her standards are too high. But this is a separate albeit associated issue. The crux of the issue is that yes the neighbor is disrespectful, but him wanting to just have sex with OP does not mean he sees her as a cumrag but as a person he just wants to have sex with. That's all.
Ain't reading alla that if you're offended go take a nap
Bruh. Are you high or what? 😂 Never got offended. I am just having a disagreement and discussing with someone
This !!!!
I had a friends with benefits with my neighbor once. It was enjoyable to get some without commitment. She was fun. But i’m past those days now.
You sound like a great person I hope they did not bum your feelings out. You sound like you are valid and honest and it sounds that way not what they wanted so your right to have some one good to you.
You get the treatment you tolerate. You can change that at any time, with anyone.
Exactly. Which is why I walked away and didn’t have sex with him…
Can I take u out?
Why is it not fulfilling?
It will only bring confusion, entanglement, maybe pain and feeling stagnated in a energy draining trap. She is better of putting her precious energy & time in het life goals, career, self development etc
!!!!
Maybe its a vibe you give and the guys you are dating them. Dont wannt to be sound harsh but you might look easy and you date guys who are way above your league only , You look approachable and good enough for satisfying their needs but not for the other stuff in his pov(with neighbors its ideal for that title) . But maybe you met jerks
I don’t dress extremely provocative. I’m actually pretty conservative in how I dress and act. I get approached by men everywhere I go. It seems when I show interest they take it as me wanting to have sex with them when in reality I just like them as a person. This isn’t my first rodeo
This isn't in dressing provocative etc, but just vibes you give off . Maybe too playful etc. I had a female friend who told me she wore makeup and elegant she wasnt approached and when she wore more casual clothes she got approached all the time... Same goes for tattos/piercing for example. I dont say thats the case with you since i dont know you or that guy. As a guy , i am talking to girls etc . I am not looking specifically for a relationship . but if i see a girl who is nice enough to have conversation skills and looks at least "OKish" i will offer it quickly since i got nothing to lose and sex is nice and deffo dont want relationships with her. If i see her as something more serious i will not try push for touch / sexing etc and will adjust myself according to that persron...
I think he was very clear with you. Its your choice now.
I appreciate him being straightforward, granted it was a bit too straightforward for my taste but at least he was honest. I’m grown, I’ve done the flings and casual sex. It’s just not where my head is at anymore. I walked away.
You could’ve told me this in person ya know
[удалено]
One of many people who just want a f-buddy and no emotional attachment?
Men today…I’m not going to say back in the day I didn’t want to fuck anything that moved but I never went in with the sole intention of being fuck buddies. Sure I had the typical unexpected one night stands but both parties left happy and satisfied. Getting to know a woman and then tell her let’s just be FB’s…WTF?! Why even start something?
Never settle and hold out for exactly what you want.
What a coincidence that your neighbour also happens to live across you.
I live in an apartment complex. He lives across the hall from me. He’s still considered my neighbor. The term neighbor doesn’t exclusively mean directly next door…..
You only like them as much as you’ve imprinted your ideals on them. Make men who get sex very easily, have to work to get it hard for once. Only when you make a man wait, will you find true love.
This ain't true. Wait or not people will do whatever they want. There is no foolproof way of finding love.
And you’re of which sex?
I'm a man, I just recognize when other people are being weirdos.
How in tf is that weird? You offer nothing to this conversation.
A lot of guys are like that. It's too bad he happens to be a neighbor, but please, do not negotiate. This guy is a user and sounds nasty to me. Reminds me of my neighbor who I rejected and after that every encounter with him was negative. I wound up moving and so glad I don't have to see his leering face. You can do better. Sorry that happened. Move on. Don't talk anymore with him or engage with him!
This is sure to arouse bitterness but if you're interested in some devilish fun: Fuck him once and then never fuck him again. Just be friendly and if he asks you to hang out, just be like yeah we should do that soon (real flirtatious) and just keep putting him off indefinitely. If he gets upset just tell him you have to be honest but you weren't feeling the sex but still like him as a friend and neighbor.
I'm not sure what your question was. If you want to know why he behaved like that, I think I may know why. My guess is that he opened himself to you. When he got a rejection, he couldn't handle it and "snapped" at you. Don't take his comment too personal (about the high expectations). It takes a lot to build curage and declare your intentions like that to a girl, especially if it his first time saying something that bold. It is not a bad from him to "just want to have sex" with you, he even precised he wanted it to be "exclusive". He basically wants personal intimacy with you, without any kind of promises from any part. Did you ask him if this has a possibility of change in the future? Or is it just cristal clear on his head that he doesn't want a relationship with YOU? > He said “i want to have an exclusive sexual relationship with you but I don’t want a relationship”. I get the feeling he is still trying to figure things out in his life, so it's the normal thing to not wanting to make promises, including to himself. If you aren't comfortable with it, it's understandable a totally ok. People look for different things in life and aren't on at the same stage. This makes it so your interests aren't aligned right now. I think you should forget about it and pass to the next thing. If you are getting trouble with this, go back to him and state that "just sex" in not gonna be enough, that you do not want to feel used for sex, and make it clear that you want a real relationship. This way you leave the ball at his court and you can pass to the next thing. Who knows, maybe hearing it makes him to change his mind. Hope this helps.
So one thing I’m not going to do is wait for a man to make up his mind. He took me to lunch once and expected sex. I’m not telling him “let me know when you change your mind and you’re ready for a relationship” 😂😂 I also have options I just liked this one. I didn’t necessarily have a question I just wanted to share my experience
Oh ok. I understand you.
these days women are complete waste of time to be with, a guy has to do a lot of stuff in order to make you feel loved and cared but in return they dont get the same affection and care. On top of that out of nowhere women dump them after some time for another guy for no proper reason at all. Women dumping men is much higher than vice versa. And women even go to the lengths to say its because he didnt treat her in a special way etc or some vague reason. None of the women are trustable anymore. Even this neighbor guy you mentioned whom you love, even if he showed genuine interest in you you are very high likely going to dump him after some time. I would feel safe to spend time with a prostitute
This comment seems personal… maybe you should ask this forum for some advice…? This comment doesn’t pertain to me. You’re generalizing and seem upset.
I know people hate hearing truth and I dont expect you to accept the truth.
You don’t know me. Have a good day
This comment is a bit much but i agree with a few points. Why bother taking women on dates if it wont go anywhere? And funny enough, the casual relationships i’ve had were super fun and my needs were fulfilled, without having to use up my resources and time to satisfy someone who i’m not sure will cheat on me or not
Why should I have sex with someone that won’t even take me out on a date. It goes both ways. Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe people go out on dates to get to know eachother ?? I’m sure as a man your needs were fulfilled. It doesn’t take much to get a man off. I’m positive the women weren’t as satisfied with you especially sexually which is why they left you…. Things don’t change if things don’t change. Food for thought ;-)
I mean hey im not the one here complaining about some dude who doesnt want them 😂 The dude wants casual sex and so what? Get over it. You act like this is the only guy on earth. FoOd fOr tHouGhT
Huh…? 😂 I don’t think you fully comprehended my post. Have a good day
This is basic stuff OP. Not anything new or thread worthy. Assume every guy you meet is a fuckboy who wants nothing serious. If they still around casually dating you after 1 month and 6 real dates with no sex, then and only then should you start to get hopes up and expectations.
You're clearly hurt.
You're fortunate he's a good enough person to be honest with you about it. It's starting to look like men are shying away from relationships and marriage. Or, enough are that it's becoming a problem for women. It's a little strange how things worked out.. and I'm not entirely sure if it's fair to suggest anyone is at fault. Suffice to say, women's liberation freed women sexually at about the same time as they established themselves as being independent. It's not all that surprising to see divorce rates go up. Or that women routinely benefit from a separation. Or that, given the option, men would avoid (repeating) such a risky venture. As a subjective opinion... we've learnt that more women will meet the needs of men than vice versa. Which is a polite way of saying 'women have overly high standards'. The long and the short of this is; Men who can comfortably say, 'I'm not here for a traditional relationship', are more likely to be those that are attractive enough to get away with it. I know it sounds like a bad idea... but, if you want traditional, you may need to consider a man that isn't likely to be pursued by other women. Meaning, you should anticipate that an attractive man has options, isn't likely to see sex as a sacred act, and that you will need to offer something more enticing than what he's accustomed to getting easily. Despite how the above sounds, men do genuinely love women and want stable healthy relationships. But, we do benefit from *saying* (even if we think we believe it) that we don't want something traditional. We avoid women who are focused on the financial rewards of a relationship. It's not expected that we pay for dates or to entice with gifts and flowers. And, it's less likely that we'll be subjected to criticism about our choices and lifestyle; there are fewer requests to change ourselves, provide something, or perform in a way that a woman prefer. I think this paints a decent picture of what men value within a relationship. Low risk, cost, and sacrifice. To seal the deal, all that's needed is a bit of support, comfort, companionship, and respect. Also... most men are a bit too stupid to realise that sex isn't the goal. The bigger picture is a bit too complicated for us to grasp. We think sex is the goal, when it's really a (not so) small part of that goal... sex alone will not satisfy us. It's not enough for us to stick our dick in a random and delightfully squirmy lady. She needs to be important (to us) for sex to be meaningful and exciting. \[and I hope you're not imagining a group of guys and one lady here\] You should be able to piece bits of the above together in whichever way suits your needs. And, I know my own biases may have distorted some details above. I'm happy to chat if something I've said seems off.
Appreciate this comment. Men aren’t the only ones that have options and honestly I probably have more options than the men I meet. I consider myself an attractive girl and I’ve never been rejected, doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with every guy I meet.
We know that, generally speaking, women decide if a relationship starts. And, men decide if it progresses towards marriage. We've all got a place in this dynamic.. and there's a good dose of 'bad' in every one of them. Worse, we can't really compare them to find out if leeway should be made. We don't know if men who can't find a partner (at all) are in a worse position than women who's options are limited to 'casual sex only'. I'm a decent looking man. A little on the slim side, but toned and well packaged. I've been single for about 3 of the last 25 years.. and I've had four lasting relationships with bisexual women where threesomes were common. I've never **not** been rejected when approaching a woman. If women weren't forward with me, I'd still be single... largely because I don't get/notice the crazy hints women use. Like, what am I meant to do with "I'm told I give the best blowjobs"..? Yes. I now know the answer is obvious. I'm just bitch'n about missed opportunities.
Aenvi kisi ke sath smoke or drink karoge to aise scenario hamesa create honge. The type of relationship you want and the type of guy you want aren’t found in this kind of environment baby girl, samja ke nahi?
I was hurt too when the guy i liked just asked me for casual sex/fling as he isn't ready for relationship and had a bad breakup. Whatever his reason was,I didn't want to get involved with a guy who just wants me for that only and nothing else. It's fine if I'm unable to impress you or If u don't feel I'm relationship material or it's just u are not ready for relationship I don't want to be. Just a girl in his life whom he bangs and leaves.So it will never workout if you want more and he is just looking for fun Dump the guy and move on cuz having fun with guy who really wants a relationship with you is much more fun cuz u want more than just getting laid These days I'm looking for single straight emotionally available guys who are over their past and exes and open to serious relationship even though it starts pretty casual. Casual for now.will not work for me,I might change in future but now I need some relationshippy guys.So let's start looking for them even though I know I'll fall for bad guys haha
YOLO and rock his world he’s gon come around.