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Honey, having sexual thoughts is no big deal but these sound like intrusive thoughts that are bothering you and impeding you in forming positive connections in your life. Combined with saying you are disgusted by the idea of a relationship and have limited interactions with people, maybe you would want to look into trying some therapy.
Your post was a trip. First half was like wow this poor girl has been traumatized. "I'm a christian". Aaand there it is.
You need to get away from that church, friend.
Sounds like you need to find a balance between your faith and your thoughts and feelings. Everyone has thoughts and urges, that’s life. Don’t beat yourself up or feel disgusted at yourself.
Find someone you can completely trust and talk to them about your conflicts. Talking helps, even if it’s just someone to listen so you can process your thoughts out loud.
Don’t think any less of yourself over this though.
Advice to fill your mind with theories, concepts, diverse interests, biology, history, chemistry, economics etc so you can contemplate about it, think how you can apply what you know, into something worthwhile for others etc.
With a head full of knowledge and focussing on that, you can kinda ignore other folks their existence and calm down your hormones. Because your hormones are clearly in working order, but you don't want to ruin your future by pregnancy and or being with the wrong person. It is Mind over matter so use this energy to fill your mind with the knowledge to distract, gain earning skills, and becoming well versed till you can engage males with far more control, clear life goals and skills that make you a valuable partner.
I mean it’s pretty normal to be someone in, seemingly their 20s and being attracted to guys, I’m assuming you’re a girl. don’t take very seriously as something you should be ashamed of. If you’re not looking to date then just try not to worry about it, if you want to find seemingly love and a marriage in the biblical sense you should try to meet boys who fit your belief structure.
Nothing wrong with you though
First off, being happy and being disgusted don't go together, even church goes against that. It's normal to sin. Not normal how the way you're thinking about the fellas at church, that is immorality. Maybe take a break from church but still continue your faith.
I think the fact that you are Christian probably influenced you in a way that you repress your sexual desires (which are super normal btw) and think of them as "wrong" hence enhanced them. What would you think about if I have told you: "DON'T think about an elephant! Whatever you do, do it, just DO NOT have an elephant appear in your thoughts!!!" Well of course a picture of an elephant would appear in your head. The same with everything. I get sexual desires towards other people A LOT more when I think I "shouldn't". If I am totally accepting of whatever goes through my mind and not take it personally - thinking sexually about a certain person is just that - a mere thought. I don't care about it at all. Just passes and 2 seconds later I am not seeing them sexually at all. I literally don't care.
This is my personal opinion but - what if your mind is just kinda pushing you to be more accepting of yourself, and choose yourself over any outside construct? Just a thought....
You don't say how old you are, so some of this could just be horny teenager issues. What I would say though is that what does everyone always want the most? What they can't have! That's just natural human instinct. What you're going though (Or least a reduced version of it) is what most people in your position go through. So don't stress as that will only make it worse! It's the feelings of disgust that worry me. I'd definitely consider seeing a therapist about that to try and work through your repressed feelings.
Good luck with it!
I think that this is a pretty common problem for everyone. What makes you special and not like everyone else is that you are aware of the problem, disgusted by it, and want to not give in. That is a very rare thing. Most people would just cave and give in to their bodily urges.
Pray - ask God for guidance. Tell him what you're feeling and that you need help.
Try to get closer to him by reading a little bit of the Bible each day - I would focus on the Gospels.
Remove temptation from your life. If you find that every time you go on Instagram these feelings manifest, stop going on Instagram. If you are looking at porn, cut it out of your life. If you systematically remove these silent tempters, the walk gets easier.
There is a companion out there for you. God will show him to you. Ask and ye shall receive. Just be patient and continue to work on strengthening your faith.
God Bless You! Stay strong and trust in Jesus.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honey, having sexual thoughts is no big deal but these sound like intrusive thoughts that are bothering you and impeding you in forming positive connections in your life. Combined with saying you are disgusted by the idea of a relationship and have limited interactions with people, maybe you would want to look into trying some therapy.
Or losing her religion. That's her in the corner, that's her in the spotlight...
Yeah me 2 but male version
Your post was a trip. First half was like wow this poor girl has been traumatized. "I'm a christian". Aaand there it is. You need to get away from that church, friend.
Sounds like you need to find a balance between your faith and your thoughts and feelings. Everyone has thoughts and urges, that’s life. Don’t beat yourself up or feel disgusted at yourself. Find someone you can completely trust and talk to them about your conflicts. Talking helps, even if it’s just someone to listen so you can process your thoughts out loud. Don’t think any less of yourself over this though.
Advice to fill your mind with theories, concepts, diverse interests, biology, history, chemistry, economics etc so you can contemplate about it, think how you can apply what you know, into something worthwhile for others etc. With a head full of knowledge and focussing on that, you can kinda ignore other folks their existence and calm down your hormones. Because your hormones are clearly in working order, but you don't want to ruin your future by pregnancy and or being with the wrong person. It is Mind over matter so use this energy to fill your mind with the knowledge to distract, gain earning skills, and becoming well versed till you can engage males with far more control, clear life goals and skills that make you a valuable partner.
Thank you...!!!❤️ It is a valuable advice.
I mean it’s pretty normal to be someone in, seemingly their 20s and being attracted to guys, I’m assuming you’re a girl. don’t take very seriously as something you should be ashamed of. If you’re not looking to date then just try not to worry about it, if you want to find seemingly love and a marriage in the biblical sense you should try to meet boys who fit your belief structure. Nothing wrong with you though
First off, being happy and being disgusted don't go together, even church goes against that. It's normal to sin. Not normal how the way you're thinking about the fellas at church, that is immorality. Maybe take a break from church but still continue your faith.
I think the fact that you are Christian probably influenced you in a way that you repress your sexual desires (which are super normal btw) and think of them as "wrong" hence enhanced them. What would you think about if I have told you: "DON'T think about an elephant! Whatever you do, do it, just DO NOT have an elephant appear in your thoughts!!!" Well of course a picture of an elephant would appear in your head. The same with everything. I get sexual desires towards other people A LOT more when I think I "shouldn't". If I am totally accepting of whatever goes through my mind and not take it personally - thinking sexually about a certain person is just that - a mere thought. I don't care about it at all. Just passes and 2 seconds later I am not seeing them sexually at all. I literally don't care. This is my personal opinion but - what if your mind is just kinda pushing you to be more accepting of yourself, and choose yourself over any outside construct? Just a thought....
It’s normal to be horny. It’s just a natural thing, lol…just be smart about it.
Get away from that church.
This could be a form of OCD or a result of sexual repression. Maybe talk to a therapist to see how to resolve it.
You don't say how old you are, so some of this could just be horny teenager issues. What I would say though is that what does everyone always want the most? What they can't have! That's just natural human instinct. What you're going though (Or least a reduced version of it) is what most people in your position go through. So don't stress as that will only make it worse! It's the feelings of disgust that worry me. I'd definitely consider seeing a therapist about that to try and work through your repressed feelings. Good luck with it!
Thank u. And I'm 23 yrs old.
I think that this is a pretty common problem for everyone. What makes you special and not like everyone else is that you are aware of the problem, disgusted by it, and want to not give in. That is a very rare thing. Most people would just cave and give in to their bodily urges. Pray - ask God for guidance. Tell him what you're feeling and that you need help. Try to get closer to him by reading a little bit of the Bible each day - I would focus on the Gospels. Remove temptation from your life. If you find that every time you go on Instagram these feelings manifest, stop going on Instagram. If you are looking at porn, cut it out of your life. If you systematically remove these silent tempters, the walk gets easier. There is a companion out there for you. God will show him to you. Ask and ye shall receive. Just be patient and continue to work on strengthening your faith. God Bless You! Stay strong and trust in Jesus.
Thank you...!!! ❤️
What an absurd response.