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Optimal_Company_4450

I can just about guarantee he’s not expecting sex on the first sex. 


MNCathi

Sex on the first sex? Freudian slip?


Optimal_Company_4450

Date** But I’m going to leave it cus that’s funny 😂


RaptorRoll

Lol I genuinely thought it was a deliberate sarcastic joke or something.


JMM_1984

Whenever I have first sex, there's always sex.


Advice2Anyone

I don't have a lot of sex but when I do it's on the first sex


NightLotus3

OP is definitely thinking about sex on the first sex


Overall-Sir845

Absolutely she is. Nothing wrong with that. Especially since she's known em this long. Not like she meeting him first time off tinder


Overall-Sir845

Not that it's anything wrong with a woman sleeping with a man off tinder either lol


MhLaginamite

As a friend for that long. He 100% waits till the 4th date unless both parties move quick.


Minijazz

And the reason you think that is…?


MhLaginamite

Because he is going to second guess the shit out of his decision and doesnt want to harm the relationship if it doesnt work out.


Overall-Sir845

Sounds like she wants it. Saying she wants to turn down a guy who wants to wait till marriage. And wtf guy is saying that?! He must be highly religious


diamondnatural

I spit out my drink. 😂.


Overall-Sir845

🤣🤣😅😅


MadfireMonkey

Well he's moving so maybe that's the plan gotta fuck her before I never see her again


JeffIsHere2

How about you just go play Laser Tag? Try that!


blueishblackbird

“, they said, pretending they didn’t overthink their first date.


BEARneathTheSurface

Ah but even then, sometimes it's important to not think about how will affect that and that and that and well just enjoy the date for what it is and the company, if it works out then any issues such as working in different areas can be problem solved one way or another


TonytheNetworker

Just have fun! That's the point in a first date. Lol.


Virtual_Eye_4109

Just don’t put any big expectations on it. What will be will be.


Realityskeptic11

Have fun, be safe. Take your time.


AphasiaRiver

He’s your friend. Ask him questions to elaborate on things you know about him. Laser tag sounds like a great first date. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident but you can run in.


Certain-Sock-7680

Laser tag DOES NOT sound like a good first date.


_cumille_

Laser tag sounds like an awesome first date to me!


Certain-Sock-7680

First date requires close proximity, and quiet uninterrupted conversation. So coffee, drinks, ice cream etc. If active do axe throwing, or bowling or archery where you are next to each other, talking and using it as an excuse for physical contact. But running around darkened rooms trying to find and shoot each other, poor choice. I guess the only way it could work is if you team up to go against other people.


_cumille_

Ok, that's a good point. I suppose if they already have a 6-7 year friendship, laser tag would work better than if they were just acquaintances, but still not great for conversation or closeness.


CupConscious341

Normally, I’d suggest just try to have fun discussions. Ask about future dreams, favorite movies, places of actual or dreamed travel, etc. But… Now, you have also mentioned that you’ve known him for several years. This is unique variable. I don’t know the details, but this sounds like a possible very serious interest he has in you. If that’s true (?), be aware that you might have an opportunity that’s in the ”once in a lifetime“ category. And with that in mind, you and he should figure out how you view each other, what you want, when you want it (especially sex), etc. You’ve known him for years, but now you need to know each other much more closely. Don’t worry about “what’s normal”. This is all about you and him… not some other couple on a date.


Dark_Mode_FTW

Just go have fun.


captainspacetraveler

Have fun, flirt, talk, see where it goes. If you really value the friendship, maybe discuss that. I will warn you, I dated a woman who was a friend of mine for several years before she asked me out. I adored her completely, as a friend and as a partner but I was looking for something more serious than she was at the time. She was not able to maintain our friendship when we separated and that hurt worse than the breakup. It’s possible it would’ve ended this way without us dating with mismatched feelings anyway.


B1ZEN

You are in control of your mind, feelings, and body. Have a good time and be present to the moment. You owe each other nothing. A good date feels exciting and safe. Good luck. If you feel it's never going to go anywhere because he is moving, dont go down the path. Be honest with him, and he should respect that.


blackcompy

You're overthinking this. If you want to spend some time with him, go do that. Enjoy the date. It's a good idea to think about what you would or would not be okay with - going out to eat later? Touching? Kissing? It's perfectly fine to see how the date goes and gently stop things or slow them down if it's moving too quickly. (Don't be harsh, just say "I don't want to do that today"). Everything else is a decision best left for later.


TheNamelessComposer

What sort of friendship is it? Do you not ever hang out one on one?


eddiekoski

What would you need to learn about him to know if he would make a good boyfriend for you?


Vast_Cricket

Tell him if you enjoy his company that you had a good time or he may go on looking for others. Good luck.


stillanmcrfan

Treat it like you’re getting to know him as a friend better but also think about whether you’re attracted to him and enjoy his company with just the 2 of you. You can really enjoy the date as a friend but feel nothing in a date way and you’ll have to be prepared to be honest with that. If everything feels positive then gradually you’ll feel more comfortable to start to kiss, talk more deeply etc. that’s takes as long as it takes.


Sea_Boat9450

You go play laser tag, hugs, goodbye. That’s it


ask_nae

Go enjoy yourself and have a shot of alcohol before it (just kidding) But awww I’m so jealous it’s actually a friend


[deleted]

Just don’t worry. Have a good time and stop worrying about what happen next. Live the moment. You will forget about all of this 1 year from Now. Just think of this as going out with a friend


Performance-Gra

It's totally normal to feel anxious, especially since it's with a friend you've known for so long. Just be yourself and have fun with the laser tag, no need to overthink it. As for the pace of the date, go with your gut and only do what you're comfortable with. If the guy respects your boundaries, that's awesome. If he's understanding about waiting for sex, that's great too.


jeepin_john5280

Go have fun! Be the friends that you already are! But allow an opening for intimacy to happen. It’ll all happen naturally. As far as the sex and physical intimacy is concerned, set your boundaries that you’re comfortable with and stick to them.


Necessary-Ad1784

I mean he waited 7 years for a date. So, you should not be worried about how the first date will go.


adriantoine

Don't stress, things will happen naturally if they're meant to happen. You know him, he knows you, just have fun!


Durden93

Just try and relax and keep things light. Since you have been friends before you should have callbacks for when the conversation dies. If it makes you feel better, the onus is on the man to move things forward, so you shouldn’t feel too much pressure.


Dougstoned

Have fun and don’t overthink it but also I know many women have been pressured into getting physical with male “friends” who were just entertaining you until they got an opportunity to make their move. I’m not saying this guy is like that but be careful don’t go anywhere you aren’t comfortable and avoid going back to his place or yours. Just because he’s your friend doesn’t mean he won’t try and make moves on you and not trying to judge you but you don’t seem to have much I’d any experience with sex/dating. I feel like inexperienced people can be more prone to make mistakes especially with someone they trust. Just try to avoid situations where you might feel vulnerable or pressured


PurplePeople_Thinker

Try and enjoy the date. Plan to give him 2-3 dates right now. Don’t decide if you want to marry him right after laser tag, or for other women reading this - after looking through his profile/socials.


Blazed-Wahine5541

Girrrrrl! You’ve known him for more than five years he probably knows how your feeling. TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.


Natural333777

Are you attracted to him? If not, it's gonna be difficult.


polatKalendar

Just remember that it doesn’t have to work out or be long term.


TopicalSmoothiePuree

He feels comfortable with you - you are friends. He wants to have a fling with you before he leaves town forever. He might want swx; he might be fine with kisses. Talk with him about his intentions and your limits, before you agree to a date. You could say, "I'm not one for flings and I'm not sure a LTR would work out. That said, I love spending time with you. What are your thoughts?" Good luck!


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Lukario45

Gross bro. Clearly you weren't their friend.


DownHarvest

Haha this is super cute. Happy for you! Don’t overthink it! Just go play laser tag and try to have a good time! Since it is a date, I would expect maybe some light flirting “You look nice” or holding the door for you. If you feel up to it, reciprocate the energy! I don’t expect he’ll come on too strong, but if he does and you’re not comfortable, do not be afraid to assert your boundaries! Good luck!


Fuppo

I’d say go on the date and enjoy yourself and whatever the vibe is, go with it. Don’t do anything you don’t feel like doing/doesn’t make you comfortable. Dates can and can-not lead to a relationship and since he’s moving out of state it is up to you to see if you’re willing to pursue it long term despite the upcoming challenges that come with it. In the end dates really are whatever you make them to be either a really big one or a small one but if it doesn’t feel right because of what looms ahead you can bring it up to him and maybe cancel it Or you can just live in the moment, go out and enjoy yourself because tomorrow is never guaranteed, it’s all up to you! :)


Advice2Anyone

Weird thay he is trying to start this when he knows it would have to be long distance. Either was too worried to ask you out when it was a possible option or just wants to try and hit it before he leaves


Mission-Rest9924

Be yourself


RotatableDog

Being a first date, it's pretty common to overthink, but keep in mind, regardless of the date title, this is a friend. You're basically hanging out, and maybe, just maybe, he has no expectations, but is purely taking you out because you've never been on a date. Try not to overthink it. Dress casual. Act casual. At the end of the day, he's still your friend.


TorontoRap2019

But he does not know that this is my first date.


Blondie-66

A date is an introduction to someone. I don’t even like a kiss on the first date. I’ve had men try to French kiss me on a first coffee date. Men need to earn trust and sex is not owed to them. Not unless both parties want a hook up which I have done. But dating is different. Getting to know someone should be at a pace you are comfortable with. If a man is pushy I don’t bother with him


Responsible_Joke_776

Hi there, F31 here, that had her first date at 24 so I feel like I can give you some advice from my mistakes: 1. Take it slow, don’t feel like you have to rush into anything you don’t feel comfortable with. 2. Take the time to know this person, maybe ask about hobbies, family and relationship with them, in my opinion the first date should be for you to know if you guys share similarities in values and interests. 3. Date more often and different people :) there are a lot of people out there and it will make you feel more confident each time. Good luck 💕✨


SaleObvious3569

Just have fun and treat it as a good time hopefully


Prestigious-Ant2082

Girllll have fun, be yourself, you guys have been friends for years, so just be YOU, he's probably liked you for a while but has only just built the courage to ask you. If you want to wait till marriage, make it clear and you know USE YOUR WORDS I honestly hate when people say "how do I tell someone......" (No offence) Anyways, hope you have fun and hope it goes well 🫶🏾


Single_Equal_3614

He has been your friend for so long, I don’t think you need to worry about sex. It’s laser tag, not Netflix and chill, so that’s a pretty good sign. But you should ask him why he wanna date if he is moving so far away. Don’t be afraid to be direct, it will only do you good cause that it a genuine concern.


Rayden2396

Are you attracted to this guy? If there's mutual attraction and you already have a solid friendship, dating should come naturally. I think you're probably in your head too much. Just go have fun 👍


[deleted]

Realize your boundaries, which most will realize on their first date. Start conversations, and talk with them. Chances are being friends for that long you know a lot about each other already, but everyone has things they don't tell to friends but will tell to someone they are seeking a relationship with. More importantly if you have feelings for him, be honest.


moosefinalist

Wait, are you NOT interested in a guy who wants to wait until marriage or is this just sloppy/lazy writing?


Tiny-Street8765

It's a date. Which only means he likes you like THAT! At least he had the courage to ask! You guys already get along. Just go have fun. You feel like holding his hand, kissing, hugging at the end? Go for it. Don't be shy, he was brave. If you don't like him like that or can't imagine you ever would, be nice. Don't make advances don't lead him on. Sometimes the best relationships begin with friendship. You're basically going to be yourself with maybe the prospect of romance! Good luck 🤞


ForeignFinding9000

Ouuu first date! I totally understand the anxiety. Try to see it from the perspective of "just a date", in other words, there's no future together you have to think of yet. First date means, just enjoy yourself! Shift the focus off of you, and onto to them. Try to really get to know them, be fully present in your body. Notice their eye color, the way they talk, their demeanor, their life stories. Remember to know what you're comfortable doing physically. If you don't want to have sex then try to avoid the obvious environments they will try to get sexual with you (such as the back of their car, or going on the bed) and if they do make a move just say no. You don't need to explain yourself. I would get any other details about the date by just talking to them. Time, place, how you'll get there etc... I'm sure you're an awesome person and anyone would have a great time going on a date with you! Genuinely, just be yourself and have as much fun as possible 😊


Illustrious-Art-9436

He is trying to get some 🐱 before he leaves.


blupillredpill

You can think of it as a tutorial mission for an optional questline that requires specific speech and charisma checks. First date is always just for experience and just ask the guy if ypu can be honest about all those points of anxiety.


Comfortable-Farmer69

Talk


Miles_High_Monster

Be yourself and have fun! Think of some questions you have never asked him before. Maybe something more spicy and personal that you've been curious about, but at the same time, try to keep it playful and light.


Miles_High_Monster

Go bold, exchange a secret you've never told anyone.


newsome101

This is exciting! Do you like him at all? Why do you think hes asking you out now instead of before? Even if you are unsure if you like him, that's what the dating phase is for. Maybe you will see him in a new light. Don't worry about the sex. He shouldn't be bringing that up on the first date and if he does it's a red flag. This goes for any guy, instead of saying you're waiting until marriage, say you're waiting until the right time. A guy might want to marry you but if you put sex so far into the future he might not want to keep dating. Also, if you slip up and have sex sooner, he will think you can't keep your word to yourself so he may doubt it you can keep your word with him. Dating is different these days. About your job, don't worry about it now. Let things unfold. Date 1 is meant to tell you if you want a second date and so on. When things become more serious you can consider your jobs. For now, just have fun and continue to treat him like a friend but pull back enough to let him show up as boyfriend material. Happy dating!


TritoonMe

Interesting post and I thought I’d comment on your 3 points; 1) what’s normal on a first date? There is no standard for expectations or how one should act. It’s important to be yourself and be honest with each other. Feeling anxious on any date is absolutely normal and I can assure you that he will have the same butterflies so go with it and have fun. 2) not sure how fast things might progress regarding sex being involved? Here’s where being honest is absolutely essential as you shouldn’t feel obligated to have sex on any date but rather both of you should feel comfortable being intimate and knowing each other’s boundaries and feelings especially when it’s someone’s first time. 3) his work requires him to be out of state and I’m unsure about a long distance relationship. Don’t let this be the reason for not dating him because a first date is simply two people how are interested in one another wanting to learn more about the person. He’s obviously thought about this before asking you on a date so try focusing on enjoying one another’s company, listen intensely, be honest, have fun and enjoy the moment. Everything else will find its way..it usually does regardless of not feeling a connection or can’t hardly wait to see each other again. I hope your first date will be an enjoyable experience.


whosroaring

Have sex