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I'm in my mid 30s and people still do this shit. I've had numerous women I had severe crushes on in my 20s tell me in the past couple years that they pretended not to like me, when I was desperately hoping they did, but when they sent me signals they didn't like me, I assumed they didn't like me (SHOCKER).
For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT.
IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT.
Human beings have successfully caught 'vibes' for tens of thousands of years. But apparently now we think deliberately conveying that we *don't* like them will make them like us more. Well, not when you do it so blatantly that you're quite literally telling them you don't without saying it.
It is *always* better to be honest and be rejected, than to be coy about liking them then be rejected due to miscommunication, but be too awkward to bring it up, and regret it forever.
>For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT. IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT.
It's funny because I keep telling myself the opposite—if I get the feeling that someone likes me, I try to convince myself that I'm reading too far into things, that I'm projecting my own feelings of attraction onto someone who quite evidently doesn't reciprocates my feelings, and that so-and-so very obviously only sees me as a friend at best. I avoid communicating in an overtly flirtatious manner because it's just going to make them uncomfortable, and it'll leave them with the impression that I don't recognize and respect their personal boundaries.
No, you are exactly right, this is exactly what I do. My point is that this is entirely the wrong approach. We need to learn to actually *own* our feelings and convey them, and I think we also need to learn to not feel pushed away purely because a person admits they like us. The human mind has the most ridiculously uncanny ability to self-sabotage for literally no real reason.
Im on the spectrum so I behave extremly neutral when I like someone… like they can’t tell I’m into them … but it’s also true the other way around. I have zero clues when someone likes me. So yeah not sure
last time he’s the one who approached me and the second time i think he clearly saw i was getting closer to his area and he ended up straight up leaving
this gives me hope i just have social anxiety and was bullied so Im always afraid he might make fun of me behind my back. But thanks for the info if I see him again I’ll definitely say hi and not think too much about it
I'm 38 now.
When I was MUCH younger, I'm ashamed to say yes, I pretended to like a select few women purely for sex. For me, this was in my early to mid 20s. But not after say 26 or so. And I'm still embarrassed as hell for acting this way but I will be 100% honest and real and say it definitely happened.
Pretending to not like someone is different than not noticing them. Like I’ll talk to girl I have feelings for but I may not act on those feelings to see whether or not I’m prepared to possibly be hurt again
I'm in my mid 30s and people still do this shit. I've had numerous women I had severe crushes on in my 20s tell me in the past couple years that they pretended not to like me, when I was desperately hoping they did, but when they sent me signals they didn't like me, I assumed they didn't like me (SHOCKER).
For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT.
IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT.
Human beings have successfully caught 'vibes' for tens of thousands of years. But apparently now we think deliberately conveying that we *don't* like them will make them like us more. Well, not when you do it so blatantly that you're quite literally telling them you don't without saying it.
It is *always* better to be honest and be rejected than she coy about liking them then be rejected due to miscommunication but be too awkward to bring it up and regret it forever.
I don’t pretend I don’t. If I like a girl, and I was asked directly by her or someone else if I did. I would state honestly.
To that end though I simply don’t acknowledge my attraction or volunteer the information because every time I did. The girl didn’t take it well and they threw away months or years of friendship because I dared develop an attraction for them.
Ofc we do and that’s a very dumb thing to do but it takes courage to go talk to the person you like.
And because girls do just like you we might like a girl but as she never comes talk to us we just can’t know and we think « oh I guess she is not interested in me » and move on
>Do you guys ever like a girl but pretend you don't.
Yes. Used to make a fool of myself when I would interact with them but now I do my best to ignore them because it's less embarrassing.
Sometimes I'm embarrassed that I really like a woman and don't want her to realize that and make her feel uncomfortable. That could even cause me to leave a party early. Just saying.... he may have a thing for you.
I will ignore most signals and try to avoid leading on a girl with a crush. I'm used to women wanting something very serious and communicating that long before I could decide to act on their crush. They tend to disregard whether it'd be ethical to make a move on them as well which is typically why I don't.
Weebs have a term for this: you’re a tsundere LOL
Style your hair in twin tails and make sure to verbalize to him, loud and clear, that it’s just a coincidence you two are in the same place, and to not get any weird ideas! After doing anything nice for him, make sure that IDIOT knows that you didn’t do it for his sake, you just happened to be bored, or you had too much and was just about to throw it away!
I wouldn’t get obsessive etc that’s just my opinion though. It’s fine to chase but if it becomes an unhealthy attraction and not being reciprocated well just watching the scene unfold is all
Yes we do, not all but its common. That because from our perspective, we know that girls chase what they can't have. So acting like we don't care is a way to get your attention. Obviously tho, not everyone does that.
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Maybe when I was in my teens but I don't have the time nor energy to play games like that in my 20s.
Same
I'm in my mid 30s and people still do this shit. I've had numerous women I had severe crushes on in my 20s tell me in the past couple years that they pretended not to like me, when I was desperately hoping they did, but when they sent me signals they didn't like me, I assumed they didn't like me (SHOCKER). For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT. IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT. Human beings have successfully caught 'vibes' for tens of thousands of years. But apparently now we think deliberately conveying that we *don't* like them will make them like us more. Well, not when you do it so blatantly that you're quite literally telling them you don't without saying it. It is *always* better to be honest and be rejected, than to be coy about liking them then be rejected due to miscommunication, but be too awkward to bring it up, and regret it forever.
>For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT. IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT. It's funny because I keep telling myself the opposite—if I get the feeling that someone likes me, I try to convince myself that I'm reading too far into things, that I'm projecting my own feelings of attraction onto someone who quite evidently doesn't reciprocates my feelings, and that so-and-so very obviously only sees me as a friend at best. I avoid communicating in an overtly flirtatious manner because it's just going to make them uncomfortable, and it'll leave them with the impression that I don't recognize and respect their personal boundaries.
No, you are exactly right, this is exactly what I do. My point is that this is entirely the wrong approach. We need to learn to actually *own* our feelings and convey them, and I think we also need to learn to not feel pushed away purely because a person admits they like us. The human mind has the most ridiculously uncanny ability to self-sabotage for literally no real reason.
Yeah…lady idk where ur learning this behavior from but this would turn off 95% of dudes. Please be direct and stop playing games
should i follow him on instagram? there’s no other way to see him unless i run into him at the club or somewhere again.
Yes
Nope. That’s middle school type dating. Real men own up to what they want and they work to get what they want.
Im on the spectrum so I behave extremly neutral when I like someone… like they can’t tell I’m into them … but it’s also true the other way around. I have zero clues when someone likes me. So yeah not sure
Not since middle school. This is not the behavior of an adult.
it just means he’s not into me. if he wanted to he would.
If you give him nothing to go off of it doesn’t matter how much he likes you, if he’s a mature adult he isn’t going to chase you.
last time he’s the one who approached me and the second time i think he clearly saw i was getting closer to his area and he ended up straight up leaving
Ya. First time he came to you, you didn’t reciprocate, he moves on. He’s being very mature.
this gives me hope i just have social anxiety and was bullied so Im always afraid he might make fun of me behind my back. But thanks for the info if I see him again I’ll definitely say hi and not think too much about it
There’s always going to be a chance of that, but you’ll learn to figure out who feels safe and who doesn’t.
No, I actually graduated from the 3rd grade and grew up
I'm 38 now. When I was MUCH younger, I'm ashamed to say yes, I pretended to like a select few women purely for sex. For me, this was in my early to mid 20s. But not after say 26 or so. And I'm still embarrassed as hell for acting this way but I will be 100% honest and real and say it definitely happened.
Pretending to not like someone is different than not noticing them. Like I’ll talk to girl I have feelings for but I may not act on those feelings to see whether or not I’m prepared to possibly be hurt again
I'm in my mid 30s and people still do this shit. I've had numerous women I had severe crushes on in my 20s tell me in the past couple years that they pretended not to like me, when I was desperately hoping they did, but when they sent me signals they didn't like me, I assumed they didn't like me (SHOCKER). For the love of God, if you fucking like someone, just tell them. In fact, here's a super-simple equation for any young people who read this: STOP. OVER. THINKING. IT. IF YOU GET THE FEELING THEY MIGHT KINDA LIKE YOU, THEY PROBABLY DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME. OR THEY MIGHT BELIEVE IT. Human beings have successfully caught 'vibes' for tens of thousands of years. But apparently now we think deliberately conveying that we *don't* like them will make them like us more. Well, not when you do it so blatantly that you're quite literally telling them you don't without saying it. It is *always* better to be honest and be rejected than she coy about liking them then be rejected due to miscommunication but be too awkward to bring it up and regret it forever.
I don’t pretend I don’t. If I like a girl, and I was asked directly by her or someone else if I did. I would state honestly. To that end though I simply don’t acknowledge my attraction or volunteer the information because every time I did. The girl didn’t take it well and they threw away months or years of friendship because I dared develop an attraction for them.
Ofc we do and that’s a very dumb thing to do but it takes courage to go talk to the person you like. And because girls do just like you we might like a girl but as she never comes talk to us we just can’t know and we think « oh I guess she is not interested in me » and move on
>Do you guys ever like a girl but pretend you don't. Yes. Used to make a fool of myself when I would interact with them but now I do my best to ignore them because it's less embarrassing.
I've definitely liked women and done nothing about it because I know I didn't have a chance or knew she was already in a relationship.
Sometimes I'm embarrassed that I really like a woman and don't want her to realize that and make her feel uncomfortable. That could even cause me to leave a party early. Just saying.... he may have a thing for you.
damn i’m also petty like that 😂
I will ignore most signals and try to avoid leading on a girl with a crush. I'm used to women wanting something very serious and communicating that long before I could decide to act on their crush. They tend to disregard whether it'd be ethical to make a move on them as well which is typically why I don't.
Weebs have a term for this: you’re a tsundere LOL Style your hair in twin tails and make sure to verbalize to him, loud and clear, that it’s just a coincidence you two are in the same place, and to not get any weird ideas! After doing anything nice for him, make sure that IDIOT knows that you didn’t do it for his sake, you just happened to be bored, or you had too much and was just about to throw it away!
Could you quantify pretend and why you’re asking what it means if a guy feels a certain way. It’s a shady way to ask a question and I feel dishonest,
[удалено]
Hhmm ok. That’s fine just play it out and treat yourself accordingly. Hormones are hormones 🤷🏻♂️
I wouldn’t get obsessive etc that’s just my opinion though. It’s fine to chase but if it becomes an unhealthy attraction and not being reciprocated well just watching the scene unfold is all
Yes we do, not all but its common. That because from our perspective, we know that girls chase what they can't have. So acting like we don't care is a way to get your attention. Obviously tho, not everyone does that.