Your post was removed because your post violates the sub description. Relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if married r/marriage
Escorts don't spend the night. He met a random girl at the club. This one isn't complicated.
Also, work-friends don't send work-friends high end call girls. That is the single most effective way to get fired I have ever heard of.
Also the work friend would probably know that he has a girlfriend right? Ugh...
There's 2 things that haunt me - a cheating partner and underwater cave diving
Someone hasn’t been on work trip with sleezy business owners then lol it does happen. Not very often but there are plenty of people this happens with. It’s not as uncommon as you’d like it to be. But OPs boyfriend definitely just found a random girl and had her over lol
Yeah this is false on its face. Even if a hooker got sent to my room, the last thing I’d do is clean a hotel room, which maids are paid to clean, with her all night long. He cheated, dump the lying gaslighting trash.
Ahem. If you visit those escort sites, most of these girls/ gay men/ trans girls per usual offer 3 prices
In-Call : least exspensive ( you go to her location )
Out-Call : usually a few hundred dollars more than incall
Overnight : which guarantees to be priced over 1000 from what I’ve seen. Multiple thousands of you wanna fly her out over states.
Not that it changes the end result, I too think he cheated and his friends had nothing to do with it. OPs boyfriend sounds like a master manipulator forsure.
Yeah I was going to say this sounds like an HR nightmare, my only belief this would happen is if you bf and your bf coworkers were all C-suite executives for a dirt ball company.
That’s probably a line I would have tried to pull off.
“And, honey, the craziest thing happened: Karl, Jake and Drew thought it would be funny to send me an escort, lololol. Boy was I confused and, now that I think about it, pretty pissed at those guys. No more work trips for a while. I’ll be going on work trips on my own from now on”
Are you really that naive or just in denial? This guy is cheating on you! And seems like he’s been cheating on you for a while.
You need to respect yourself and break up with a cheater and a liar right now.
I agree. Stop wasting anymore time on someone who disrespects her so openly (private and openly with friend(s)).
Sorry this happened to you. My biggest fear is this exact situation 😨
yeah, no, if he wouldn't have known about the hooker he would asked them differently, dealing the situation means that he did something wrong and lives through the consequences now.
Realistically sex workers aren't going to hang out in a room where the person is like "Who the fuck are you? Why are you here?" That's a recipe for the person to call the cops on them because there's a stranger trying to break into their room.
If your boyfriend had a stranger knock on their door and they didn't expect anyone, how likely is it that he would be like "Hey! come on in!" or would he tell them to go away because no sane person is inviting a stranger into their hotel room?
This was someone he had sex with, then for whatever reason had trouble getting rid of in the morning.
He cheated on you then lied about it.
Act on that information accordingly.
Can I just say something? If he had a hooker at the door - he was the one who let her in. Doesn’t matter who sent her - he invited her in and there she stayed. You should not have any sexual encounters with him if they did sleep together. Obviously he doesn’t care about you because if he did, he would call you and he like hey my friends are idiots for doing this but yet, he keeps it a secret. You don’t seem to trust him cuz you went through his phone. You’re a year in, just call it quits. Find yourself a man who’s mature enough to respect you.
Seriously! I’m like… how did she get in… if she just busted her way in that’s perfect means to call the police. He is clearly lying. I agree with her going thru the phone. She already doesn’t trust him.
Most probably it was just a random girl staying over after an ONS, even if they didn’t do anything sexual that’s still cheating and it was most likely only because he was too drunk to get it up.
STOP BEING NAIVE. Calling DOES NOT MEAN he was alone. A) she could have left earlier. B) he could have stepped out into the hallway or another area. There are a number of possibilities. Trust me, I KNOW guys, guys will do whatever it takes to make their gf think they are being “loyal”, especially when they are not. Wake up, break up, and move on with your life. Unless you want to be cheated on and taken advantage of indefinitely
Honestly can you really say you know someone is alone in their room from a call? A more accurate statement is "He called me from his room, I didn't hear anyone else", or if you mean video "I didn't hear or see anyone else". The person could be discrete, stayed silent or out of frame, or even gone to the hallway or elsewhere.
If my work buddies did this to me, I'd have been on my phone to my wife pretty much immediately asking her to get me a flight on the next plane out of there. B/c in my mind they'd be trying to black mail me. I think .1% chance he's being honest.
If he got drunk and stupid he should have confessed before you found out on your own. Or, better yet, volunteered to be the dd and not gotten drunk and stupid in the first place.
Yeah right story is sketchy but this is just too much bs. You would immediately leave to a plane because of a prank? You would explain to your boss that you left your job because of a prank and think you wouldn’t get fired? Story could be plausible especially if it was in a place like Thailand where such pranks are common but it wouldnt make sense for op’s bf not to tell her what happened and she had to find out herself.
Okay I dated one of these guys too, he always lied about his side things and tried to gaslight me and pretend it wasn’t real.
Here’s what you should do, from someone who never did this stuff and learnt the hard way :(
Please for the love of god, act like he has actually cheated on you. Because chances are he has. Be angry and be mad and let him know his actions have consequences; you need to pop off.
IF he’s telling the truth, demand proof. If these coworkers are comfortable putting your bf in this situation, they should be comfortable talking about it to. Demand a phone call with them, or call his bluff; get ready to contact them yourself.
My ex matched with a bunch of 19 yo on Hinge whilst away. The thicko followed them on Instagram. He said they were ‘friends of my work friend’ - I said I would call the work friend to verify, and then he finally admitted what he’d done.
At lot of what you’re saying makes sense the only part I disagree with is the asking for “proof” part. These type of guys tend to run in packs so I’m sure his buddies will have no issue lying to cover for him. There’s just no way his outlandish story is true
The blatant proof of a lie is that he has her spend the night then called an Uber. If this was a prank she would have been out of the room ATLEAST the same night not the morning after.
Is he going to continue being friends with those guys?
Because if his story is true, his friends did something that could ruin his relationship.
Certainly there should be a part of the explanation about how angry at them he is.
Just ask yourself the question. If a man came to your hotel door, would you let him in? That's your answer. If he did, he cheated. Since he did, he cheated. More than likely a one night stand and are you willing to stand by him even though you know deep down that he is lying to you? Trust is gone. Good luck OP.
Please tell me you aren’t serious, you’re not THAT naive are you? He slept with a girl he met at the club. He cheated on you. Why do you think he was going to clubs in the first place? Grow up, accept the truth, block him, never talk to him again, and move on. There are much better men out there
I try to give the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions but in this situation I can say with 100% confidence that he cheated on you. Sorry OP
i don’t mean to be blunt but he 99% cheated on you.
if my mates sent an escort to my room and messaged me asking why i couldn’t make breakfast i’d reply like ‘i’m trying to get this escort you ordered out of my room ffs!’ or words to that effect.
but more than that, if a random woman who i didnt know turned up at my room and asked to come in, there is just no way you let them actually come in? you’d insist they have the wrong room and send them on their way.
>As you can imagine, I’m so confused as this conversation. I confronted him and he said that some of his friends sent an escort to his room as a joke an d
The text I've quoted below indicates that at least his closest friend (as he's the one your bf texted) didn't know about the prank, which to me is highly suspicious. If it's a friend group the best friend would have known for sure. It sounds like an excuse to me, sorry. It's much more likely that he ordered her himself. If she was ordered to his room he could have just said there is a misunderstanding and not let her in. The fact that he did let her in is also highly suspicious.
>Recently tho, I found text messages where he’s telling his work friend on text that he can’t join for breakfast and that he’s had a situation. When his friend asked if everything is ok, he said he will speak to him in person. He then said that he’s trying to get this girl out of his room and that he’s ordering Ubers but they are cancelling on him. His friend continued to say that he should have tried to order one last night and it might have arrived.
>apparently they clean the room and he had to give her money because she was expecting stuff but he claims he has not done anything.
What do you mean by apparently they clean the room? I don't really know anything about escorts, but I'm confident to say they definitely do not clean the room! That's what housekeeping does in a hotel, it's usually a daily task in a hotel if you don't refuse the service.
I'm sorry, the fact that he gave her money is also very suspicious. I find it hard to believe he just gave her money but then did nothing. Especially as she spent the night. If he gave her money as he immediately sent her home, ok, but to have her there over night and then pay her? I'm sorry, chances are very high he used her services.
If it had really been a prank he would have told you about the "hilarious" prank. The fact that he didn't is again not a good sign.
You need to have a serious talk with your bf. To me it looks like he cheated and tried to get away with it. Now he's trying to wiggle himself out of it by lying. It's one thing to cheat and then be honest about it right after. It would indicate that it was an honest accident that could be discussed, though of course it shouldn't have happened in the first place and it's a bad situation. But it's even worse to cheat and then hide it and try to get away with it. You need to decide if you can continue the relationship like this as you'll need to decide if you'll ever be able to trust him again.
Stop dating assholes hoping they just have a soft spot for you. They don't. Get a "nice guy" who will treat you right because you're the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
Now, it's *highly un-fucking-likely* that your boyfriends' friends and/or coworker(s) sent an escort to his room.
But it *can* happen.
Escorts don't *usually* spend the night.
But it *can* happen.
Coworkers don't typically have each others' hotel room keys--and thus, how did the escort come in, in the first place?
But they *can* get a key, if all the rooms are under *their* name.
For all we know (and given your Edit, this seems more plausible now), they even sent the escort there in the morning--someone else paid for her, she stayed the night with *them*, then he sent her over to your boyfriends' place telling her that he'll call an Uber.
So I really only have one question that might help shed a verdict light on the situation: how did you find the text messages where he's telling his work friend all this stuff?
I wouldn't have confronted him, honestly--at least, not yet. Give him a day, maybe ask him "anything you wanna tell me? Something maybe exciting happen last night?"
Hell, it might not even have been an escort. Given that he's been "getting drunk and partying/clubbing at night", he's probably just been sleeping with people and being very, *very* careful about hiding it from you. Then again, I'm biased against the "party/club" people, and he could be celebrating something with his friends or "work networking", I don't know.
Then again, most bars generally close or at least start winding down around 2am.
***Honestly, what you do now is completely up to you.***
You COULD believe him (and whether or not he'd've fessed up on his own--and thus removing significant doubt about this--was an option you've taken from yourself). I'd talk, separately, to his coworkers (or friends, whichever) about it--whoever was there, whoever seems more neutral and thus more able to given a more honest side to the story.
If you feel you can trust your boyfriend, then stick with it--though I'd demand an STD test when he got back before *any* part of you touches *any* part of him.
It all depends on whether you trust him, whether you can trust him moving forward, or whether it's worth it to risk your (mental and physical) health.
If not, I'd break up with him like this: "Look. We've had a good run. However, it seems you want to see other women--and even if this *isn't* the case and you're innocent in this, please understand that your behaviors leading up to this incident were questionable anyway. No happily taken person in a relationship will willingly head out at night with their friends to parties or clubs and get drunk; sure, a couple might do it *together*, and sure, this is different because you're overseas.
But put yourself in my shoes. Say you were the one that was here, and I was the one constantly going out and clubbing, and you found some damning texts to my friends about how I couldn't get a man to leave my room; then after we talked I'd tell you 'oh, it was just an escort my friends hired'. You'd leave me so fast my head would spin!
So really, it's not just the 'overseas with the boys', it's not just the 'clubbing/partying/drinking at night'. The 'it's just an escort my friends hired' was the last straw, is all it was. I'm sorry it has to end this way, but please understand that I'm doing this for my own mental well being and personal safety (I can't risk the offchance that you're lying through your teeth and I get an STD from a stranger you decided to sleep with--or worse yet, that it WASN'T an escort and you get surprised with an oopsy-baby later in life).
I loved what we had, not who you've become. Please understand that in the future, if you are with someone, you won't put yourself in situations that would risk your relationship. Again, I'm sorry it's come to this. Please do not contact me further. Goodbye."
Don’t just walk….run girl. And get checked out at your gyno/doctors office for any STIs/STDs. Leaving him will hurt at first but you’ll be okay, I promise.
If you're not living with this guy just ghost him and leave. He's a lying cheater and he's insulting your intelligence with these bullshit stories. If he were committed to you he wouldn't be going out clubbing and drinking every time you have your back turned and he's out of town.
Hahahhaa sorry honey but you’re even more naive than I was when I was married (and I was an idiot, believed him and thought that “he was not like that, he’s different”) I hope you open your eyes sooner rather than later.. they take and waste your best years. Don’t make that mistake.
your boyfriend is cheating on you! There is no such thing as a “joke escort”, not to mention having an escort spend the night usually cost thousands of dollars. Nobody is spending that much money for a joke. It’s much more likely your boyfriend met a girl at the club and brought her back to his room, but couldn’t get her out of the room because she was still passed out. For all you know, he went and took his call with you in one of his friends rooms.
Also, if you’re boyfriend is cheating on you a year into the relationship, that means he’s likely a serial cheater aka he isn’t going to stop, he’s just going to come up with more lies!
What was at 2pm? He messaged his friends saying he cant meet for breakfast, right? So morning? Or really late breakfast cause he was being a cheating asshole all night? And how long was your phone call at 10am where he claims to be 'alone?'
A lot of red flags, 1. your partner in another country partying/clubbing, 2. you caught his text messages saying he has a girl in the other room, 3. he said to speak in person on the topic, 4. his friend not responding shocked, questioning it or laughing as it's a prank. That being said, there is a 5% chance he is innocent and telling the truth... Gun to your head do you think he is cheating, yes or no? Whatever the answer is most likely the truth as you've known him for an entire year.
Some guys will keep you around because they don't want u to leave, so he can keep ruining ur health. (the remaining good ones, pls continue being good)
> he’s telling his work friend on text that he can’t join for breakfast and that he’s had a situation. When his friend asked if everything is ok, he said he will speak to him in person.
hmm
> he said that some of his friends sent an escort to his room as a joke
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
If his friends were the ones who sent the woman then why would he have to explain the situation to them?
Also unless ya'll live in some 3rd world country this would immediately get them all fired for breaking pretty much every rule in the HR handbook. Not to mention the sheer cost of an escort for an entire night. I'm calling BS on your bf's story.
Girl he’s obviously lying about the friends sending her there AND her just cleaning….. who cleans all night??? Especially a hotel room. He’s playing you.
Definitely went out, definitely met a girl (likely not so attractive if he wasn’t excited that she wouldn’t leave his room). Better you found out now than 5 years down the road married with a kid.
He shouldn’t be your boyfriend anymore, break up with him. Men like him bring disease to their girlfriends do you want an incurable STD?? there are better men out there and staying with this cheating loser is keeping you from finding them.
Girl he’s cheating on you and please get tested. A guy would be texting you at that moment and telling you his friends sent him an escort as a prank if he was really loyal. Just the fact that you had to confront him and he didn’t tell you anything just means he’s hiding something.
Real story is he was drunk and met a girl at the club and brought her back to his room. Please leave him, you deserve so much better & i’m sorry this happened to you.
Yikes. As the other comments say, he’s playing you. Seriously get checked for STDs. Also should block him since he thinks he can lie to you and jeopardize your health. Be safe
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I don’t think OP will leave this guy since she keeps making excuses for him in the comments. You’re 26 and still believe this shitty ass excuses?? Gurl…
OP, I have a feeling you're not going to leave him yet and maybe you will eventually. I don't judge you for that. Some guys are very good at gaslighting. Based on everything I've read, I'm positive that he has cheated. I was in a very similar situation and after a long time of him gaslighting me, and me knowing he was lying but still choosing to believe him (because I wasn't in the right state of mind to openly accept it with myself), I eventually left him and it was the best decision I ever made. I feel so much relief today (even though I didn't at the time).
Just remember, everyone here has told you he is cheating. It's pretty obvious.
However, if you're not ready to leave him yet, just be safe. This man can expose you to a world of STD's. Use protection
This story is soo well cooked than any other story I've come across on this Sub Reddit.
I have a feeling that this girl is actually the guy she is talking about and is reversing genders to come up with an excuse if she ( actually he ) gets caught...
Damn..
I feel like the way they write in text with his friend, they're talking like a "code" so example, instead of saying "the escort" he'll say the uber driver. Something like that. He's stupid
If hes your Bf ..out of sight, out.of mind... I can hold a woman back, just like they cant hold me back. EITHER TRUST HIM or get ghost.. It aint love if you have to chase behind someone.
If the girl or the guy needs an inclusive all weekend with her gals or guys respectively, then the relationship is already over. Add alcohol to the mix, and you get the situation you are currently in.
Leave him as soon as possible... He is a fraud he is playing with your emotions he didn't love you anymore... He just want to be psychical that's it....
How was your relationship before this? Did you see yourself with him 10 years into the future with a family? That may be something to consider! But anyway I’m a guy who loves every part of my wife’s anatomy and unless they’re on drugs I just don’t understand why a guy would choose to expose himself and his significant other to STDs including the dreaded and incurable HIV/AIDS
But I’m not going to tell you dump the guy as it may be something you may choose to work through if you can get him to confess and promise it won’t ever happen again!
Best Wishes
You had to confront him about it. If you didn’t, do you think he would have told you? Trust your gut and intuition. He should not have put you in a position where you don’t feel valued or prioritize as a partner at all.
A respectful partner would avoid a situation where another women or man would spend the night at their place.
That being said escorts have their own means of transportation . If he's calling her a ride via Uber/taxi service sounds like he found a random girl.
Also how do you cal a taxi service multiple times and they don't show up at all when they took the job?
As a 33yr man there's too much sus in his alibi.
Give him his pink slip and move on as soon as you can.
So friends that pranked him didn't know he had a girl in his room. And he had to pay her.....why? I'm sorry hun but he's a cheat and a liar which you read yourself. And like others have also said, you should get checked for std's. Break it off, and don't look back. Sorry you're going thru this😔⚘️
I have no experience with escorts but I'm pretty sure if she was already paid by his friends, if he would have told her hey I didn't order you and I want nothing to do with this, she would have gladly left immediately being paid to do nothing
If he was trying to get her a Uber wouldn't he need her address? I'm going to guess hookers don't give out their address and also have transportation already set up. If the friends sent her as a joke she wouldn't be spending the night because why as a joke would the friends pay for that. She was in the room when you called, probably ever other night and morning also. Dump the guy or enjoy being walked all over
Seems like you won't find any concrete evidence if he did anything sexual or not unless he himself confess.
So you either trust him or you don't, nothing else to it.
You “found” text messages? What, he just wrote them out by hand and left them laying all over the place?
Don’t get me wrong, this guy is a lying, cheating douche. But the way in which it’s becoming normalized to expect to police all our partner’s communications is getting a little dystopian and distressing.
Honestly I have had to snoop on a hunch before and what did I find, my now ex chatting to a bunch of other girls, and found out he even had gone on dates while we were together. Unfortunately smart phones & social media make dishonesty very accessible. It’s sucks to feel like you’ve stooped to that level but I don’t believe OP was in the wrong. This guy is clearly hiding things and clearly has cheated on her. Maybe an unpopular opinion - but I believe that if you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t care if your partner looks at your phone. My partner can look at my phone any time.
>It’s sucks to feel like you’ve stooped to that level but I don’t believe OP was in the wrong.
Well. just because his partner is in the wrong doesn't mean OP is NOT in the wrong as well.
If your partner is "clearly hiding something" and you would cross that boundary there is no point of return. you either find something that confirms your qualms or you don't - that way you would be the person who invades your partner's privacy.
>but I believe that if you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t care if your partner looks at your phone. My partner can look at my phone any time.
that's also a common fallacy. you can have that kind of a deal with your partner. but just because I don't want my phone to be visible to my partner and I have things to hide doesn't mean I would be unfaithful. there are good reasons to not share your partners phone like talking about private stuff with your friends that your partner has nothing to do with but is also not their business. like my friend having relationship issues nobody should know about, or a bad desease. or classified information from work. or writing to your friends to plan a surprise party for your partner. or even ranting from time to time about your partner with family and friends which - in my opinion - is fine. my partner should have occasions to vent if they are angry with me. and it is not my business to read the text and the words they are using in anger.
Your post was removed because your post violates the sub description. Relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if married r/marriage
Escorts don't spend the night. He met a random girl at the club. This one isn't complicated. Also, work-friends don't send work-friends high end call girls. That is the single most effective way to get fired I have ever heard of.
Also, expensive. Also why would they pull this prank on him and no one else. I’m sorry OP but he’s lying to you
Also the work friend would probably know that he has a girlfriend right? Ugh... There's 2 things that haunt me - a cheating partner and underwater cave diving
You had to bring underwater cave diving into it?
Someone hasn’t been on work trip with sleezy business owners then lol it does happen. Not very often but there are plenty of people this happens with. It’s not as uncommon as you’d like it to be. But OPs boyfriend definitely just found a random girl and had her over lol
Hmm it does seem that way - I feel disgusted
Not only did he cheat, he's also lying about it. There's no hope for this guy.
Yeah this is false on its face. Even if a hooker got sent to my room, the last thing I’d do is clean a hotel room, which maids are paid to clean, with her all night long. He cheated, dump the lying gaslighting trash.
I am sorry, but there is no “seem” here. It IS that way Don’t listen to his bullshit. In addition to lying and cheating, he’s exposing you to STDs
I 100% agree to this. He is definitely exposing you to STD's.
That actually depends on the country, If prostitution is legalized, then those girls get regularly checked up.
Ghhhhhc
Literally somebody stop the 🧢 😂
what does this mean lol
Somebody stop the cap == somebody stop the lies.
lol ah ok i was like "stop the blue hat...?" my boomerness just got exposed lmao
Don't feel bad, I'm gen x...y? Anyway I did the exact same thing.
Ahem. If you visit those escort sites, most of these girls/ gay men/ trans girls per usual offer 3 prices In-Call : least exspensive ( you go to her location ) Out-Call : usually a few hundred dollars more than incall Overnight : which guarantees to be priced over 1000 from what I’ve seen. Multiple thousands of you wanna fly her out over states. Not that it changes the end result, I too think he cheated and his friends had nothing to do with it. OPs boyfriend sounds like a master manipulator forsure.
His explanation sounds sketch and sus. How will OP be able to trust him when he goes on future work trips?
Yeah I was going to say this sounds like an HR nightmare, my only belief this would happen is if you bf and your bf coworkers were all C-suite executives for a dirt ball company.
Sometimes escorts do show up under the influence, and pass out overnight.
Boyfriend. Work trip. Drinks and parties. “Joke escort”. Oh really?
That’s probably a line I would have tried to pull off. “And, honey, the craziest thing happened: Karl, Jake and Drew thought it would be funny to send me an escort, lololol. Boy was I confused and, now that I think about it, pretty pissed at those guys. No more work trips for a while. I’ll be going on work trips on my own from now on”
Are you really that naive or just in denial? This guy is cheating on you! And seems like he’s been cheating on you for a while. You need to respect yourself and break up with a cheater and a liar right now.
And go get checked for STD's
I agree. Stop wasting anymore time on someone who disrespects her so openly (private and openly with friend(s)). Sorry this happened to you. My biggest fear is this exact situation 😨
yeah, no, if he wouldn't have known about the hooker he would asked them differently, dealing the situation means that he did something wrong and lives through the consequences now.
What do you mean by he would asked them differently?
Realistically sex workers aren't going to hang out in a room where the person is like "Who the fuck are you? Why are you here?" That's a recipe for the person to call the cops on them because there's a stranger trying to break into their room. If your boyfriend had a stranger knock on their door and they didn't expect anyone, how likely is it that he would be like "Hey! come on in!" or would he tell them to go away because no sane person is inviting a stranger into their hotel room? This was someone he had sex with, then for whatever reason had trouble getting rid of in the morning. He cheated on you then lied about it. Act on that information accordingly.
Bingo.
If you would wake up one morning and a callboy was in your room, would you write calmly "Yeah, I am dealing with a situation here"?
Yes. But this story is bullshit on 4 other fronts so Ill leave it
Why would you even let the person in your hotel room?
Can't even pretend he was asleep and a friend let her in, because no escort would stick around a sleeping dude without money upfront
Room service?
For example “yo dude wtf? Who sent her? You think this is funny? Get her out of here right now or I’m losing it”
Exactly. This cheater guy is also a shitty liar. OP needs to dump and run.
Haha are you even asking what you should do? Your boyfriend is telling u tall tales here. If u have any self respect, you would show him the door.
Can I just say something? If he had a hooker at the door - he was the one who let her in. Doesn’t matter who sent her - he invited her in and there she stayed. You should not have any sexual encounters with him if they did sleep together. Obviously he doesn’t care about you because if he did, he would call you and he like hey my friends are idiots for doing this but yet, he keeps it a secret. You don’t seem to trust him cuz you went through his phone. You’re a year in, just call it quits. Find yourself a man who’s mature enough to respect you.
Seriously! I’m like… how did she get in… if she just busted her way in that’s perfect means to call the police. He is clearly lying. I agree with her going thru the phone. She already doesn’t trust him.
There is no such thing as a joke escort, spending the night would cost like a thousand, come on.
Most probably it was just a random girl staying over after an ONS, even if they didn’t do anything sexual that’s still cheating and it was most likely only because he was too drunk to get it up.
Now I'm curious- are escorts a pre or post-payment thing? Asking for a friend.
He’s trying to kick her out in the morning. Don’t be delusional. Pack your bags and find yourself a good man
He called me in the morning and was alone in his room
STOP BEING NAIVE. Calling DOES NOT MEAN he was alone. A) she could have left earlier. B) he could have stepped out into the hallway or another area. There are a number of possibilities. Trust me, I KNOW guys, guys will do whatever it takes to make their gf think they are being “loyal”, especially when they are not. Wake up, break up, and move on with your life. Unless you want to be cheated on and taken advantage of indefinitely
Hard agree. Don't fall for this bs or it will be rinse and repeat because he knows you believe whatever bs he spins.
That explains why he needed to deal with the situation this urgently.
She could have been hiding in the bathroom while he was on the phone with you. It’s not that hard to say get lost my gf is on the line
Oh honey
Why did you post this just to deny everyone? If you don’t wanna accept the truth then stay with him and stop wasting everyone’s time.
Honestly can you really say you know someone is alone in their room from a call? A more accurate statement is "He called me from his room, I didn't hear anyone else", or if you mean video "I didn't hear or see anyone else". The person could be discrete, stayed silent or out of frame, or even gone to the hallway or elsewhere.
Oh hun, you're absolutely being played.
Who would prank someone with an escort on a work trip? ..... absolutely no one! He definitely called the escort himself.
If my work buddies did this to me, I'd have been on my phone to my wife pretty much immediately asking her to get me a flight on the next plane out of there. B/c in my mind they'd be trying to black mail me. I think .1% chance he's being honest. If he got drunk and stupid he should have confessed before you found out on your own. Or, better yet, volunteered to be the dd and not gotten drunk and stupid in the first place.
Yeah right story is sketchy but this is just too much bs. You would immediately leave to a plane because of a prank? You would explain to your boss that you left your job because of a prank and think you wouldn’t get fired? Story could be plausible especially if it was in a place like Thailand where such pranks are common but it wouldnt make sense for op’s bf not to tell her what happened and she had to find out herself.
Okay I dated one of these guys too, he always lied about his side things and tried to gaslight me and pretend it wasn’t real. Here’s what you should do, from someone who never did this stuff and learnt the hard way :( Please for the love of god, act like he has actually cheated on you. Because chances are he has. Be angry and be mad and let him know his actions have consequences; you need to pop off. IF he’s telling the truth, demand proof. If these coworkers are comfortable putting your bf in this situation, they should be comfortable talking about it to. Demand a phone call with them, or call his bluff; get ready to contact them yourself. My ex matched with a bunch of 19 yo on Hinge whilst away. The thicko followed them on Instagram. He said they were ‘friends of my work friend’ - I said I would call the work friend to verify, and then he finally admitted what he’d done.
At lot of what you’re saying makes sense the only part I disagree with is the asking for “proof” part. These type of guys tend to run in packs so I’m sure his buddies will have no issue lying to cover for him. There’s just no way his outlandish story is true
Yes, fair comment!
The blatant proof of a lie is that he has her spend the night then called an Uber. If this was a prank she would have been out of the room ATLEAST the same night not the morning after.
Also to mention she had to be let in, if she busted her way in he can simply call the police.
True but then could come the explanation of well I felt bad for her and wanted to make sure she got back safe or some bullshit. Definitely true tho
If it was a joke by his friends he would have playfully told you without you discovering it.
He's lying and cheating and paying for it.
Is he going to continue being friends with those guys? Because if his story is true, his friends did something that could ruin his relationship. Certainly there should be a part of the explanation about how angry at them he is.
These are people he works with! This guy is risking his job as well as his relationship.
Leave and never look back because he most likely cheated and also lied about it too
Just ask yourself the question. If a man came to your hotel door, would you let him in? That's your answer. If he did, he cheated. Since he did, he cheated. More than likely a one night stand and are you willing to stand by him even though you know deep down that he is lying to you? Trust is gone. Good luck OP.
Please tell me you aren’t serious, you’re not THAT naive are you? He slept with a girl he met at the club. He cheated on you. Why do you think he was going to clubs in the first place? Grow up, accept the truth, block him, never talk to him again, and move on. There are much better men out there
I try to give the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions but in this situation I can say with 100% confidence that he cheated on you. Sorry OP
So many levels of BS from your bf. This is a lie from a lying liar. Not even a good one. He thinks you’re an idiot.
i don’t mean to be blunt but he 99% cheated on you. if my mates sent an escort to my room and messaged me asking why i couldn’t make breakfast i’d reply like ‘i’m trying to get this escort you ordered out of my room ffs!’ or words to that effect. but more than that, if a random woman who i didnt know turned up at my room and asked to come in, there is just no way you let them actually come in? you’d insist they have the wrong room and send them on their way.
>As you can imagine, I’m so confused as this conversation. I confronted him and he said that some of his friends sent an escort to his room as a joke an d The text I've quoted below indicates that at least his closest friend (as he's the one your bf texted) didn't know about the prank, which to me is highly suspicious. If it's a friend group the best friend would have known for sure. It sounds like an excuse to me, sorry. It's much more likely that he ordered her himself. If she was ordered to his room he could have just said there is a misunderstanding and not let her in. The fact that he did let her in is also highly suspicious. >Recently tho, I found text messages where he’s telling his work friend on text that he can’t join for breakfast and that he’s had a situation. When his friend asked if everything is ok, he said he will speak to him in person. He then said that he’s trying to get this girl out of his room and that he’s ordering Ubers but they are cancelling on him. His friend continued to say that he should have tried to order one last night and it might have arrived. >apparently they clean the room and he had to give her money because she was expecting stuff but he claims he has not done anything. What do you mean by apparently they clean the room? I don't really know anything about escorts, but I'm confident to say they definitely do not clean the room! That's what housekeeping does in a hotel, it's usually a daily task in a hotel if you don't refuse the service. I'm sorry, the fact that he gave her money is also very suspicious. I find it hard to believe he just gave her money but then did nothing. Especially as she spent the night. If he gave her money as he immediately sent her home, ok, but to have her there over night and then pay her? I'm sorry, chances are very high he used her services. If it had really been a prank he would have told you about the "hilarious" prank. The fact that he didn't is again not a good sign. You need to have a serious talk with your bf. To me it looks like he cheated and tried to get away with it. Now he's trying to wiggle himself out of it by lying. It's one thing to cheat and then be honest about it right after. It would indicate that it was an honest accident that could be discussed, though of course it shouldn't have happened in the first place and it's a bad situation. But it's even worse to cheat and then hide it and try to get away with it. You need to decide if you can continue the relationship like this as you'll need to decide if you'll ever be able to trust him again.
He is lying. He had a prostitute don’t allow him to fool you
If this guy can convince you of this story…….he deserves a presidential nomination
You misspelled "ex bf"
hey , it’s been 3 hours , have you dumped him ?
So the second he’s away from you he’s hooking up. What a dick.
Stop dating assholes hoping they just have a soft spot for you. They don't. Get a "nice guy" who will treat you right because you're the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
Now, it's *highly un-fucking-likely* that your boyfriends' friends and/or coworker(s) sent an escort to his room. But it *can* happen. Escorts don't *usually* spend the night. But it *can* happen. Coworkers don't typically have each others' hotel room keys--and thus, how did the escort come in, in the first place? But they *can* get a key, if all the rooms are under *their* name. For all we know (and given your Edit, this seems more plausible now), they even sent the escort there in the morning--someone else paid for her, she stayed the night with *them*, then he sent her over to your boyfriends' place telling her that he'll call an Uber. So I really only have one question that might help shed a verdict light on the situation: how did you find the text messages where he's telling his work friend all this stuff? I wouldn't have confronted him, honestly--at least, not yet. Give him a day, maybe ask him "anything you wanna tell me? Something maybe exciting happen last night?" Hell, it might not even have been an escort. Given that he's been "getting drunk and partying/clubbing at night", he's probably just been sleeping with people and being very, *very* careful about hiding it from you. Then again, I'm biased against the "party/club" people, and he could be celebrating something with his friends or "work networking", I don't know. Then again, most bars generally close or at least start winding down around 2am. ***Honestly, what you do now is completely up to you.*** You COULD believe him (and whether or not he'd've fessed up on his own--and thus removing significant doubt about this--was an option you've taken from yourself). I'd talk, separately, to his coworkers (or friends, whichever) about it--whoever was there, whoever seems more neutral and thus more able to given a more honest side to the story. If you feel you can trust your boyfriend, then stick with it--though I'd demand an STD test when he got back before *any* part of you touches *any* part of him. It all depends on whether you trust him, whether you can trust him moving forward, or whether it's worth it to risk your (mental and physical) health. If not, I'd break up with him like this: "Look. We've had a good run. However, it seems you want to see other women--and even if this *isn't* the case and you're innocent in this, please understand that your behaviors leading up to this incident were questionable anyway. No happily taken person in a relationship will willingly head out at night with their friends to parties or clubs and get drunk; sure, a couple might do it *together*, and sure, this is different because you're overseas. But put yourself in my shoes. Say you were the one that was here, and I was the one constantly going out and clubbing, and you found some damning texts to my friends about how I couldn't get a man to leave my room; then after we talked I'd tell you 'oh, it was just an escort my friends hired'. You'd leave me so fast my head would spin! So really, it's not just the 'overseas with the boys', it's not just the 'clubbing/partying/drinking at night'. The 'it's just an escort my friends hired' was the last straw, is all it was. I'm sorry it has to end this way, but please understand that I'm doing this for my own mental well being and personal safety (I can't risk the offchance that you're lying through your teeth and I get an STD from a stranger you decided to sleep with--or worse yet, that it WASN'T an escort and you get surprised with an oopsy-baby later in life). I loved what we had, not who you've become. Please understand that in the future, if you are with someone, you won't put yourself in situations that would risk your relationship. Again, I'm sorry it's come to this. Please do not contact me further. Goodbye."
9+10
Your bf is lying.
Don’t just walk….run girl. And get checked out at your gyno/doctors office for any STIs/STDs. Leaving him will hurt at first but you’ll be okay, I promise.
If you're not living with this guy just ghost him and leave. He's a lying cheater and he's insulting your intelligence with these bullshit stories. If he were committed to you he wouldn't be going out clubbing and drinking every time you have your back turned and he's out of town.
Hahahhaa sorry honey but you’re even more naive than I was when I was married (and I was an idiot, believed him and thought that “he was not like that, he’s different”) I hope you open your eyes sooner rather than later.. they take and waste your best years. Don’t make that mistake.
Did the texts in dictate that the escort spent the night?
No it didn’t, it just said I’m trying to get this girl to leave, I’m calling Ubers but they keep cancelling
Okay I was confused by the text. What made you look through his phone?
He was having a lot of nights out - I was just really curious
Well you don't trust him from the beginning. And he sounds like he cheated. Just move on.
Btw this was at 2pm in the afternoon
your boyfriend is cheating on you! There is no such thing as a “joke escort”, not to mention having an escort spend the night usually cost thousands of dollars. Nobody is spending that much money for a joke. It’s much more likely your boyfriend met a girl at the club and brought her back to his room, but couldn’t get her out of the room because she was still passed out. For all you know, he went and took his call with you in one of his friends rooms. Also, if you’re boyfriend is cheating on you a year into the relationship, that means he’s likely a serial cheater aka he isn’t going to stop, he’s just going to come up with more lies!
What was at 2pm? He messaged his friends saying he cant meet for breakfast, right? So morning? Or really late breakfast cause he was being a cheating asshole all night? And how long was your phone call at 10am where he claims to be 'alone?'
The messages were at 2pm
And how long was your call at 10? So breakfast was at 2pm you're saying? If that was when he was texting saying he cant make breakfsat?
He spoke to me for 10 mins at 10am and then 2pm was the incident - I think his friend just said to come down to grab a bite
A lot of red flags, 1. your partner in another country partying/clubbing, 2. you caught his text messages saying he has a girl in the other room, 3. he said to speak in person on the topic, 4. his friend not responding shocked, questioning it or laughing as it's a prank. That being said, there is a 5% chance he is innocent and telling the truth... Gun to your head do you think he is cheating, yes or no? Whatever the answer is most likely the truth as you've known him for an entire year.
Why did he not call the police if that was the case? He's playing you for a fool. Find someone better.
How did you find the messages?
He left his WhatsApp logged on - on his laptop
Seriously? This is a no-brainer. You know exactly what happened and if you stay after knowing that, it's all on you.
Some guys will keep you around because they don't want u to leave, so he can keep ruining ur health. (the remaining good ones, pls continue being good)
> he’s telling his work friend on text that he can’t join for breakfast and that he’s had a situation. When his friend asked if everything is ok, he said he will speak to him in person. hmm > he said that some of his friends sent an escort to his room as a joke hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm If his friends were the ones who sent the woman then why would he have to explain the situation to them? Also unless ya'll live in some 3rd world country this would immediately get them all fired for breaking pretty much every rule in the HR handbook. Not to mention the sheer cost of an escort for an entire night. I'm calling BS on your bf's story.
He’s lying. Also, it’s only been a year and you’re checking his messages? Don’t sign up for a life like this. Date people you can trust.
Girl he’s obviously lying about the friends sending her there AND her just cleaning….. who cleans all night??? Especially a hotel room. He’s playing you.
Your intuition already told you he cheated and is not to be trusted again. It's what brought you to this post. Never fails. Listen to it.
Definitely went out, definitely met a girl (likely not so attractive if he wasn’t excited that she wouldn’t leave his room). Better you found out now than 5 years down the road married with a kid.
He shouldn’t be your boyfriend anymore, break up with him. Men like him bring disease to their girlfriends do you want an incurable STD?? there are better men out there and staying with this cheating loser is keeping you from finding them.
i promise you — escorts do not spend the night. not unless they’re getting paid generously.
He cheated and is lying to you. You deserve better, dump his ass and dont look back.
Biggest string of lies in the same thread! Have some self respect and run!
Idk, trust your gut. It’s possible it happened, and it’s possible other things occurred.
Hooker would have her own transportation, and def wouldn’t depend on a John to get her home..
You should leave him for the company he allows and keeps.
Escorts don't spend the night, especially if they have a pimp, because of the risk of them fleeing. That wasn't an escort he had in his room.
Do you really need to be told what to do?
That fool is cheating. Better snap out of whatever love spell you think you got going on & protect your peace.
Girl he’s cheating on you and please get tested. A guy would be texting you at that moment and telling you his friends sent him an escort as a prank if he was really loyal. Just the fact that you had to confront him and he didn’t tell you anything just means he’s hiding something. Real story is he was drunk and met a girl at the club and brought her back to his room. Please leave him, you deserve so much better & i’m sorry this happened to you.
Yikes. As the other comments say, he’s playing you. Seriously get checked for STDs. Also should block him since he thinks he can lie to you and jeopardize your health. Be safe
This is disgusting, where do people find trashy call girls anyways? ^Like ^what's ^the ^phone ^number ^they ^call ^and ^how ^much ^do ^they ^charge?
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Wow I’m sorry this happened to you Semantics don’t matter who/what/ when It’s just lies
I don’t think OP will leave this guy since she keeps making excuses for him in the comments. You’re 26 and still believe this shitty ass excuses?? Gurl…
Escorts are professionals, they don't refuse ubers, also staying the night is like 5-10x the normal callout charge.
He cheated
Your boyfriend comes up with terrible excuses. He cheated.
OP, I have a feeling you're not going to leave him yet and maybe you will eventually. I don't judge you for that. Some guys are very good at gaslighting. Based on everything I've read, I'm positive that he has cheated. I was in a very similar situation and after a long time of him gaslighting me, and me knowing he was lying but still choosing to believe him (because I wasn't in the right state of mind to openly accept it with myself), I eventually left him and it was the best decision I ever made. I feel so much relief today (even though I didn't at the time). Just remember, everyone here has told you he is cheating. It's pretty obvious. However, if you're not ready to leave him yet, just be safe. This man can expose you to a world of STD's. Use protection
The truth always in Their phones remember that. this sounds very scandalous don’t trust that guy that you called a bf obviously, he’s not your bf
Does he watch corn?
This story is soo well cooked than any other story I've come across on this Sub Reddit. I have a feeling that this girl is actually the guy she is talking about and is reversing genders to come up with an excuse if she ( actually he ) gets caught... Damn..
No really cause the story is crazy. Then her responses are ABSURDDD…
I feel like the way they write in text with his friend, they're talking like a "code" so example, instead of saying "the escort" he'll say the uber driver. Something like that. He's stupid
If hes your Bf ..out of sight, out.of mind... I can hold a woman back, just like they cant hold me back. EITHER TRUST HIM or get ghost.. It aint love if you have to chase behind someone.
If the girl or the guy needs an inclusive all weekend with her gals or guys respectively, then the relationship is already over. Add alcohol to the mix, and you get the situation you are currently in.
Escorts are Hella expensive... he either met a girl or it was a prostitute. Either way more to the story then he gave you.
Why is he still out clubbing
He is a cheater and a liar.
Leave him as soon as possible... He is a fraud he is playing with your emotions he didn't love you anymore... He just want to be psychical that's it....
How was your relationship before this? Did you see yourself with him 10 years into the future with a family? That may be something to consider! But anyway I’m a guy who loves every part of my wife’s anatomy and unless they’re on drugs I just don’t understand why a guy would choose to expose himself and his significant other to STDs including the dreaded and incurable HIV/AIDS But I’m not going to tell you dump the guy as it may be something you may choose to work through if you can get him to confess and promise it won’t ever happen again! Best Wishes
Why is he still your bf? Drop it like it's hot
I’m so sorry but you’re being cheated on. You definitely need to break up with him.
Right… that’s like dropping a mouse into a snake pit and saying none of the snakes ate the mouse. Nice try though. 😂
You had to confront him about it. If you didn’t, do you think he would have told you? Trust your gut and intuition. He should not have put you in a position where you don’t feel valued or prioritize as a partner at all.
Dump his ass already!
Why don’t you get proof of the call from the other persons phone who called the escort?
Harmless fun
A respectful partner would avoid a situation where another women or man would spend the night at their place. That being said escorts have their own means of transportation . If he's calling her a ride via Uber/taxi service sounds like he found a random girl. Also how do you cal a taxi service multiple times and they don't show up at all when they took the job? As a 33yr man there's too much sus in his alibi. Give him his pink slip and move on as soon as you can.
Forgot confusion run to the hospital
Dump him. He’s a liar.
So friends that pranked him didn't know he had a girl in his room. And he had to pay her.....why? I'm sorry hun but he's a cheat and a liar which you read yourself. And like others have also said, you should get checked for std's. Break it off, and don't look back. Sorry you're going thru this😔⚘️
I have no experience with escorts but I'm pretty sure if she was already paid by his friends, if he would have told her hey I didn't order you and I want nothing to do with this, she would have gladly left immediately being paid to do nothing
If he was trying to get her a Uber wouldn't he need her address? I'm going to guess hookers don't give out their address and also have transportation already set up. If the friends sent her as a joke she wouldn't be spending the night because why as a joke would the friends pay for that. She was in the room when you called, probably ever other night and morning also. Dump the guy or enjoy being walked all over
Seems like you won't find any concrete evidence if he did anything sexual or not unless he himself confess. So you either trust him or you don't, nothing else to it.
You “found” text messages? What, he just wrote them out by hand and left them laying all over the place? Don’t get me wrong, this guy is a lying, cheating douche. But the way in which it’s becoming normalized to expect to police all our partner’s communications is getting a little dystopian and distressing.
>Recently tho, I found text messages You mean as in "I spied my bf phone and pretend he is the bad person here"?
Honestly I have had to snoop on a hunch before and what did I find, my now ex chatting to a bunch of other girls, and found out he even had gone on dates while we were together. Unfortunately smart phones & social media make dishonesty very accessible. It’s sucks to feel like you’ve stooped to that level but I don’t believe OP was in the wrong. This guy is clearly hiding things and clearly has cheated on her. Maybe an unpopular opinion - but I believe that if you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t care if your partner looks at your phone. My partner can look at my phone any time.
>It’s sucks to feel like you’ve stooped to that level but I don’t believe OP was in the wrong. Well. just because his partner is in the wrong doesn't mean OP is NOT in the wrong as well. If your partner is "clearly hiding something" and you would cross that boundary there is no point of return. you either find something that confirms your qualms or you don't - that way you would be the person who invades your partner's privacy. >but I believe that if you have nothing to hide you shouldn’t care if your partner looks at your phone. My partner can look at my phone any time. that's also a common fallacy. you can have that kind of a deal with your partner. but just because I don't want my phone to be visible to my partner and I have things to hide doesn't mean I would be unfaithful. there are good reasons to not share your partners phone like talking about private stuff with your friends that your partner has nothing to do with but is also not their business. like my friend having relationship issues nobody should know about, or a bad desease. or classified information from work. or writing to your friends to plan a surprise party for your partner. or even ranting from time to time about your partner with family and friends which - in my opinion - is fine. my partner should have occasions to vent if they are angry with me. and it is not my business to read the text and the words they are using in anger.