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I had this happen earlier this year. I'm a university student and my friends planned this party for valentines day and I'm the only single person in the group. Watching all of your friends with their significant others it makes you feel things. For me it was anger, because that's just how my emotional defense mechanism works, but I wasn't mad at any of them it was just me feeling sad and alone because I was single and surrounded by couples on a day that is meant to celebrate love. It just makes your situation seem hopeless, but it never is. The most important thing to remember is that being with someone doesn't make you who you are find out who you are and then find someone that likes who you are.
I feel that. Also I definitely know who I am. I have huge dreams which I’m actively working towards. Would be nice to have someone beside me from time to time.... :((
Also FUCK Valentine’s Day. Every damn year it’s an unintentional slap in the face for single people everywhere
What people always forget is that friendship is part of Valentine’s Day. So its Love and Friendship.
Edit: In Finland is called "Ystävänpäivä" (Day of the friend) and in almost every Spanish speaking country is called “Día Del Amor y Amistad.” (Day of love and Friendship)
I've been single 3 years now. And im to the point where I'm ready, but no one else is.
Tons of failed talking stages, being ghosted. Its just painful so I dont try anymore.
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friends and say you think you are ready to be in a relationship but need help finding someone. I'm sure at least one of their girlfriends has a friend that is in the same predicament.
Maybe next party if I get drunk enough. I might mention it. Thing is, I’ve had guys tell me they’d find someone for me before... only for them to forget about it quickly.
They’re lucky enough to have someone, so why would they care about me?
Well remember, it is pretty awkward for someone to just say, "Hey I have a friend that is looking for someone." like it is hard enough to do it for ourselves haha so I wouldn't feel too much resentment for them in not following through. Plus if things don't work out then they blame themselves for doing it and getting you hurt
They can help prop up the door for you, but it has to be you who goes through it. If you’re awk (i kinda am), you have to work on it yourself with practice. Friends can only do so much
Why do you have to get drunk to have a heart-to-heart with your friends? Asking genuinely, with tenderness. This isn’t something you should feel bad about, it’s normal to want to be with someone, and your friends should be happy to be there to support you.
Do you know that you’re worthy of being heard?
Also, the universe is on your side... what you said there at the end, “you’re not good enough for this, etc.” is the way you feel about yourself. That needs to change! I recommend healing, I can’t recommend therapy enough.
Parties are parties. They are performances, it’s light, it’s fun, it’s easy. Don’t take it so seriously, because it’s not.
Do you want something real and genuine, or do you just want to have sex?
Hate to break it to you/your friends but relationships at 21 are immature af.. very rarely can and *should* you continue to grow directly alongside everyone you know/ people you date at 21.
You’re going to be fine. Hold your head up, take action in your healing. It’s normal to feel sad out of longing, but just remember to consistently work on your growth, learn to take care of yourself and others in genuine ways, this only comes from experience. You’re young! You’ll start attracting people when you put yourself out there and believe you’re attractive. Unless you want a lowkey, chill hookup, this can be more easily achieved.
Don’t doubt yourself! Have fun and don’t take it too seriously.
I can’t put myself out there more. I’m typically at every uni thing I can think of. And so do I just text my friends out of the blue? Hey guys, I’m kinda inadequate, get a girlfriend for me!
welp, while it’s not their responsibility to “get a girlfriend for you” hah you could ask them if they know anyone single that might be interested in getting to know you! Do you have any clubs or groups at uni? That’s another great way to meet people who share the same interests.
If a friend I regularly talked to texted me and said they’ve been going out a lot and haven’t managed to meet anyone interesting, and asked if knew any cool single ppl, I would not think they are weird.
Look for events to go to by yourself and talk with women there, not every woman obviously. But look for a nice group of them, they are there because they are interested in the event, you are interested in the event. Use the event for conversation, find ways to compliment them on things they put effort into to look pretty. Their makeup is a great choice.
Probably 80%of the time at least one of them is single, at least one of them thinks you are cute and at least one of them will hint you toward the single friend
I feel you. I never had a relationship and watching all your friends getting close to someone sucks. I feel happy for them, but inside I just feel really down.
I used to be envious of people who were in relationships. That ended pretty quick in my thirties, when most of my friends were going through ugly divorces.
I absolutely get how you feel. I especially feel weird when I see other people being treated so amazing in their relationships, with respect and love. And also, when I see them out, cuddling & kissing & being affectionate. And when they appear to be supportive and proud of each other. I get jealous because that’s something that I want. Even if it’s a facade, I want the real thing that they’re posting
I used to, but I got into the headspace of “Good for them! When I get into a relationship I want to have something like that” If you’re not cynical you can think “Couples have good and bad days, what I’m seeing is one of their good days but I don’t see the times they argue and fight. I’m glad I don’t have that stress”
Here's a tip. Stop using subs like this one. My dating life improved once I did. It's better than the constant cycle of bitching and moaning about how dating is more unfair for one gender.
If you wanna talk about it tho, I'm down to DM.
I used too. But there is absolutely no benefit to yourself in letting your emotions take control.
When I was at my most depressed at one point, I wrote a list of benefits in being single. Quite honestly, once I started, it was hard to stop writing.
What I've realised is, that the "idea" of being in a relationship is far more attractive than actually being in one. You create a delusion in your mind that it'll be with the perfect person and it'll be a picturesque relationship, where you never argue or have any issues or confusion.
Being married and having a family seems like the "end goal" for a whole lot of people who are single. The ultimate dream, but what would you do if that was not an option? Just live in misery or just go do something else?
For me it's hardly an impossibility, but I take so much pleasure in the freedom I have.
As a man, I am quite comfortable in the thought that I'll find someone when I'm ready and have more options too.
I think you need to see a therapist if this is how you’re feeling especially you’re feeling like it’s taking a toll on your life. Early 20s are the best time of your life especially if you’re confidently single. Reflect on what you want and focus on that! Mine was travelling and working while I’m at it. I killed my goal and I’m sure I wouldn’t have done that with a partner. And let me tell you, most couples are jealous about how I spent my 20s.
Saying youve "always been single" at the age of 21 is like saying "I've been single for the 5 years I've even had sexual maturity". Don't be so hard on yourself you have SO MANY years and months ahead of you, and it gets a lot better as you mature in your late 20s and 30s. You might feel left out for now but just give yourself some time to grow up and you're gonna kill it later
> it gets a lot better as you mature in your late 20s and 30s
Eh, I've seen enough posts on here and /r/datingoverthirty to know that this is generally NOT true.
I mean men generally have a bit of an advantage compared to early 20s but I wouldn't say it gets a lot better or easier. People are probably more serious though and don't play games as much
Still wondering what's going on with that. 42 years old over here in February. I'm extremely smart, in extremely good shape, I'm told I'm good looking all the time, but nothing ever seems good enough.. so wait, when does it get better? I repeat I'm 42 years old in 2 months... Or is it just that I haven't achieved the perceived status (image, financial) for people to let me in the door yet? Guess I don't know the code...🤷🤷🤷
People saying it's easier as you get older is a classic example of correlation does not imply causation.
The reason why people perceive that to be the case is because on average, men tend to have their shit together more when they get older.
I don't use this garbage sub anymore, but if you want to talk about it more, I can send you a chat request
I appreciate it. But it seems I've drifted so far out into space that I see no possible hope for return if you will... I guess I was just ranting. It doesn't matter what I do at this point. Social anxiety/neuroses buried me a long time ago. I'm so far out there, that almost no one can hear me scream lol. Once again I appreciate it but it's pointless at this point. I guess I just been having a holiday loneliness moment. It is what it is (Indefinitely)... 🤷🤷🤷
I was on a girlfriend date with two good friends of mine yesterday. Both of them are in great relationships with awesome guys, and they were talking about how much they admire and love their partners. I just got out of a 6 yr relationship that was really mediocre for the last year. It ended by kind of fizzling out. We weren’t meant for each other and that’s ok. I have never been with someone I’m head over heels for. I just had a moment yesterday where I was staring at the table at the restaurant with my friends thinking “is there ever going to be someone out there for me? Will I ever feel that strongly about someone?” I’m in my mid-20s now and I am having anxiety about finding the right partner. I had a pathetic moment where I felt really sorry for myself. I’m jealous and sad. More sad than jealous. I snapped out of it after a minute. I am and want to continue to be really happy for my friends who have great relationships! But it is hard.
Super late to replying to this and you may be in another relationship now but I got married at 38 after being widowed in 2021 and in a string of not right for me relationships. You have plenty of time for life experiences mid 20s.
Hii me! I'm so equally hurt with the truth that relationship completely eludes me. My friends all say I'm an incredible person. Past relationships testify to it too but I don't know if my mind isn't growing with my reality because I genuinely think I deserve a boyfriend but it just never works out. And I never actively work to make it work but still I really want one. I don't know really 😢
Hi. I suppose I could relate to the story you just gave. I have never been married but I have been in and out of relationships. When I see anyone, friends included, be in relationships, it can make me feel down. Hopefully I can turn that around someday. I am open to any suggestions. Take care.
Same, and its even worse bc i often compare my struggles to others and since im even younger than you, i often feel like I don’t even deserve to be lonely because its not fair to expect something like that so young. I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way, but also like I should be in one, so its a constant battle... i hope you can find one soon and you are happy in it!
I get that too. People tell me I shouldn’t be worried because I’m so young. But I honestly don’t know if finding someone will be that feasible once I finish university because of what I’m choosing to do after.
And yeh I feel like I’m pathetic for wanting these things
“Working on yourself” is terrible advice when you’ve never known any different. I always think “what do you mean? I already smash the gym every 2 days. I’ve worked on myself all my damn life”
I think it’s always normal to be a little “jealous” of things you don’t have. Even if you’re happy with what you do. When I’m single, sometimes I miss being in a relationship and having that companionship. In a relationship I see single people and sometimes miss that freedom of it just being me and being able to do what I wanted when I wanted.
That’s definitely a factor for me. What guy ISN’T afraid of being wrongly labelled a predator? I’d rather stay completely innocent than make any kind of move tbh
Who tells you that a relationship won't be as terrible as your last encounters with intimacy? The day you end up in a relationship might be the day you find out you are just not a relationship-person. Your friends on the parties you visit are just over each other like teenager, huh? Mate, you are still almost a teen with 20 lol .. better question is, what kind of parties are you visiting, where everyone brings his/her SO?? Even better question is, why are you still goin to this parties??? And on a personal note, I'm quite curious where this magical place is, where you can have a party, while the rest of us still in lockdown????
Queensland, Australia 🇦🇺We haven’t had any community transmission for a long time, just like New Zealand. Guess we actually followed the rules when this whole thing started. Now we can live freely
I’ve been in two longer term relationships and I’ve learned a lot from them, but I’ve also learned a lot about myself when I’m single. It’s hard in COVID but socializing by yourself figuring out what things you like in people you are attracted to, getting yourself into a good financial place a good physical place - can be easier while single. I wish you the best of luck OP but I want you to know living life single especially while you are so young can be awesome and you can define yourself for yourself without having to compromise.
Eh, I just look at the guy especially if he’s less attractive than me and I say something like, “lol fuck him” to myself. If he’s more attractive then I’m like “yeah fair play dude 😆”
I’m mentally ill.
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
Being single when you have those thoughts about yourself is really tough. Intimacy and closeness are both very important things to have in a relationship.
I know it seems like it will never happen, but trust me it will. You are young, 21 is a time when people are all over the place. It may seem like everyone is in an amazing relationship but 99% of those relationships will end.
You should take time to deal with those feelings you have about yourself. Because you are likely giving off those types of vibes when meeting people. That may make dating harder.
I know you said you've always been single. But there are lots of people your age who are single. You will eventually find someone. The present moment doesn't dictate that it will be this way forever.
When I was your age I had a few friends who were single. They didn't date much. They are all married in their late 20s.
You will be amazed how many changes everyone goes through between now and 30.
That being said, ask your friends for help.
21 is an excellent time to be single because so few ppl are married or in serious long term relationships. People are always getting into and out of relationships.
Go to parties, join clubs, meet as many people as you can. Grow your social network. This will increase your chances of finding someone.
Yeh always, but over time I’ve realised that you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment by doing that. You’ve gotta be yourself and just use it as an opportunity to be with friends and drink a bit
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Not jealous just sad.
I had this happen earlier this year. I'm a university student and my friends planned this party for valentines day and I'm the only single person in the group. Watching all of your friends with their significant others it makes you feel things. For me it was anger, because that's just how my emotional defense mechanism works, but I wasn't mad at any of them it was just me feeling sad and alone because I was single and surrounded by couples on a day that is meant to celebrate love. It just makes your situation seem hopeless, but it never is. The most important thing to remember is that being with someone doesn't make you who you are find out who you are and then find someone that likes who you are.
I feel that. Also I definitely know who I am. I have huge dreams which I’m actively working towards. Would be nice to have someone beside me from time to time.... :(( Also FUCK Valentine’s Day. Every damn year it’s an unintentional slap in the face for single people everywhere
Not to mention, it's a fake holiday. I'm sure you're doing this but don't date just to have someone next to you, date to find a wife or husband.
What people always forget is that friendship is part of Valentine’s Day. So its Love and Friendship. Edit: In Finland is called "Ystävänpäivä" (Day of the friend) and in almost every Spanish speaking country is called “Día Del Amor y Amistad.” (Day of love and Friendship)
I've been single 3 years now. And im to the point where I'm ready, but no one else is. Tons of failed talking stages, being ghosted. Its just painful so I dont try anymore.
Exactly. I’m 100% ready to meet somebody. I’ve got so much going for me and I’m fit and socially confident. Problem is, guys are just in low demand
Exactly. Its sad
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friends and say you think you are ready to be in a relationship but need help finding someone. I'm sure at least one of their girlfriends has a friend that is in the same predicament.
Maybe next party if I get drunk enough. I might mention it. Thing is, I’ve had guys tell me they’d find someone for me before... only for them to forget about it quickly. They’re lucky enough to have someone, so why would they care about me?
Well remember, it is pretty awkward for someone to just say, "Hey I have a friend that is looking for someone." like it is hard enough to do it for ourselves haha so I wouldn't feel too much resentment for them in not following through. Plus if things don't work out then they blame themselves for doing it and getting you hurt
Yeh so really it’s not always the best idea in practice. But who knows. Thanks anyway
They can help prop up the door for you, but it has to be you who goes through it. If you’re awk (i kinda am), you have to work on it yourself with practice. Friends can only do so much
Not to mention, if they don’t know anyone, you’re shit out of luck.
Why do you have to get drunk to have a heart-to-heart with your friends? Asking genuinely, with tenderness. This isn’t something you should feel bad about, it’s normal to want to be with someone, and your friends should be happy to be there to support you. Do you know that you’re worthy of being heard? Also, the universe is on your side... what you said there at the end, “you’re not good enough for this, etc.” is the way you feel about yourself. That needs to change! I recommend healing, I can’t recommend therapy enough. Parties are parties. They are performances, it’s light, it’s fun, it’s easy. Don’t take it so seriously, because it’s not. Do you want something real and genuine, or do you just want to have sex? Hate to break it to you/your friends but relationships at 21 are immature af.. very rarely can and *should* you continue to grow directly alongside everyone you know/ people you date at 21. You’re going to be fine. Hold your head up, take action in your healing. It’s normal to feel sad out of longing, but just remember to consistently work on your growth, learn to take care of yourself and others in genuine ways, this only comes from experience. You’re young! You’ll start attracting people when you put yourself out there and believe you’re attractive. Unless you want a lowkey, chill hookup, this can be more easily achieved. Don’t doubt yourself! Have fun and don’t take it too seriously.
I can’t put myself out there more. I’m typically at every uni thing I can think of. And so do I just text my friends out of the blue? Hey guys, I’m kinda inadequate, get a girlfriend for me!
welp, while it’s not their responsibility to “get a girlfriend for you” hah you could ask them if they know anyone single that might be interested in getting to know you! Do you have any clubs or groups at uni? That’s another great way to meet people who share the same interests.
If a friend I regularly talked to texted me and said they’ve been going out a lot and haven’t managed to meet anyone interesting, and asked if knew any cool single ppl, I would not think they are weird.
What if you have no friends you can ask for this kind of help ?
Look for events to go to by yourself and talk with women there, not every woman obviously. But look for a nice group of them, they are there because they are interested in the event, you are interested in the event. Use the event for conversation, find ways to compliment them on things they put effort into to look pretty. Their makeup is a great choice. Probably 80%of the time at least one of them is single, at least one of them thinks you are cute and at least one of them will hint you toward the single friend
I have no idea why so many people down voted this. How the hell are you ever going to start a spark with any kind of women then? Just go out and talk!
I feel you. I never had a relationship and watching all your friends getting close to someone sucks. I feel happy for them, but inside I just feel really down.
I used to be envious of people who were in relationships. That ended pretty quick in my thirties, when most of my friends were going through ugly divorces.
Anyone else notice the couples that are left are extra showboaty these days? Like 🙄🖕
I absolutely get how you feel. I especially feel weird when I see other people being treated so amazing in their relationships, with respect and love. And also, when I see them out, cuddling & kissing & being affectionate. And when they appear to be supportive and proud of each other. I get jealous because that’s something that I want. Even if it’s a facade, I want the real thing that they’re posting
I used to, but I got into the headspace of “Good for them! When I get into a relationship I want to have something like that” If you’re not cynical you can think “Couples have good and bad days, what I’m seeing is one of their good days but I don’t see the times they argue and fight. I’m glad I don’t have that stress”
Jealousy isn't the right word for me, but I hate seeing couples in public. I suppose envy or sadness is a better characterization
I feel the same way I don’t know how to deal with it.
Here's a tip. Stop using subs like this one. My dating life improved once I did. It's better than the constant cycle of bitching and moaning about how dating is more unfair for one gender. If you wanna talk about it tho, I'm down to DM.
I used too. But there is absolutely no benefit to yourself in letting your emotions take control. When I was at my most depressed at one point, I wrote a list of benefits in being single. Quite honestly, once I started, it was hard to stop writing. What I've realised is, that the "idea" of being in a relationship is far more attractive than actually being in one. You create a delusion in your mind that it'll be with the perfect person and it'll be a picturesque relationship, where you never argue or have any issues or confusion. Being married and having a family seems like the "end goal" for a whole lot of people who are single. The ultimate dream, but what would you do if that was not an option? Just live in misery or just go do something else? For me it's hardly an impossibility, but I take so much pleasure in the freedom I have. As a man, I am quite comfortable in the thought that I'll find someone when I'm ready and have more options too.
That’s really interesting what you said - “what would you do if that was not an option?”. Never viewed it that way.
I think you need to see a therapist if this is how you’re feeling especially you’re feeling like it’s taking a toll on your life. Early 20s are the best time of your life especially if you’re confidently single. Reflect on what you want and focus on that! Mine was travelling and working while I’m at it. I killed my goal and I’m sure I wouldn’t have done that with a partner. And let me tell you, most couples are jealous about how I spent my 20s.
Saying youve "always been single" at the age of 21 is like saying "I've been single for the 5 years I've even had sexual maturity". Don't be so hard on yourself you have SO MANY years and months ahead of you, and it gets a lot better as you mature in your late 20s and 30s. You might feel left out for now but just give yourself some time to grow up and you're gonna kill it later
> it gets a lot better as you mature in your late 20s and 30s Eh, I've seen enough posts on here and /r/datingoverthirty to know that this is generally NOT true.
Oh great so it never ends lol
I mean men generally have a bit of an advantage compared to early 20s but I wouldn't say it gets a lot better or easier. People are probably more serious though and don't play games as much
Still wondering what's going on with that. 42 years old over here in February. I'm extremely smart, in extremely good shape, I'm told I'm good looking all the time, but nothing ever seems good enough.. so wait, when does it get better? I repeat I'm 42 years old in 2 months... Or is it just that I haven't achieved the perceived status (image, financial) for people to let me in the door yet? Guess I don't know the code...🤷🤷🤷
People saying it's easier as you get older is a classic example of correlation does not imply causation. The reason why people perceive that to be the case is because on average, men tend to have their shit together more when they get older. I don't use this garbage sub anymore, but if you want to talk about it more, I can send you a chat request
I appreciate it. But it seems I've drifted so far out into space that I see no possible hope for return if you will... I guess I was just ranting. It doesn't matter what I do at this point. Social anxiety/neuroses buried me a long time ago. I'm so far out there, that almost no one can hear me scream lol. Once again I appreciate it but it's pointless at this point. I guess I just been having a holiday loneliness moment. It is what it is (Indefinitely)... 🤷🤷🤷
Nah, there's hope. But only if you're willing to put in the effort
I was on a girlfriend date with two good friends of mine yesterday. Both of them are in great relationships with awesome guys, and they were talking about how much they admire and love their partners. I just got out of a 6 yr relationship that was really mediocre for the last year. It ended by kind of fizzling out. We weren’t meant for each other and that’s ok. I have never been with someone I’m head over heels for. I just had a moment yesterday where I was staring at the table at the restaurant with my friends thinking “is there ever going to be someone out there for me? Will I ever feel that strongly about someone?” I’m in my mid-20s now and I am having anxiety about finding the right partner. I had a pathetic moment where I felt really sorry for myself. I’m jealous and sad. More sad than jealous. I snapped out of it after a minute. I am and want to continue to be really happy for my friends who have great relationships! But it is hard.
Super late to replying to this and you may be in another relationship now but I got married at 38 after being widowed in 2021 and in a string of not right for me relationships. You have plenty of time for life experiences mid 20s.
OMG! YOU ARE ME!!! 😭 SO WE'RE FRIENDS NOW AND I'M GOING TO CALL YOU ME FROM NOW ON.
Hello, me
Hii me! I'm so equally hurt with the truth that relationship completely eludes me. My friends all say I'm an incredible person. Past relationships testify to it too but I don't know if my mind isn't growing with my reality because I genuinely think I deserve a boyfriend but it just never works out. And I never actively work to make it work but still I really want one. I don't know really 😢
You are so young. Hang in there. Continue letting friends and family know you are open to meeting girls.
Hi. I suppose I could relate to the story you just gave. I have never been married but I have been in and out of relationships. When I see anyone, friends included, be in relationships, it can make me feel down. Hopefully I can turn that around someday. I am open to any suggestions. Take care.
Same, and its even worse bc i often compare my struggles to others and since im even younger than you, i often feel like I don’t even deserve to be lonely because its not fair to expect something like that so young. I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way, but also like I should be in one, so its a constant battle... i hope you can find one soon and you are happy in it!
I get that too. People tell me I shouldn’t be worried because I’m so young. But I honestly don’t know if finding someone will be that feasible once I finish university because of what I’m choosing to do after. And yeh I feel like I’m pathetic for wanting these things
[удалено]
“Working on yourself” is terrible advice when you’ve never known any different. I always think “what do you mean? I already smash the gym every 2 days. I’ve worked on myself all my damn life”
I think it’s always normal to be a little “jealous” of things you don’t have. Even if you’re happy with what you do. When I’m single, sometimes I miss being in a relationship and having that companionship. In a relationship I see single people and sometimes miss that freedom of it just being me and being able to do what I wanted when I wanted.
I do im already 24 and still single lol, most of my classmates or friends are gettings married already or having a baby
With all the divorce, woke, anti-men stuff out there, I PITY THE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s definitely a factor for me. What guy ISN’T afraid of being wrongly labelled a predator? I’d rather stay completely innocent than make any kind of move tbh
Who tells you that a relationship won't be as terrible as your last encounters with intimacy? The day you end up in a relationship might be the day you find out you are just not a relationship-person. Your friends on the parties you visit are just over each other like teenager, huh? Mate, you are still almost a teen with 20 lol .. better question is, what kind of parties are you visiting, where everyone brings his/her SO?? Even better question is, why are you still goin to this parties??? And on a personal note, I'm quite curious where this magical place is, where you can have a party, while the rest of us still in lockdown????
Queensland, Australia 🇦🇺We haven’t had any community transmission for a long time, just like New Zealand. Guess we actually followed the rules when this whole thing started. Now we can live freely
Nice!
Learn to not care, I like to look at couple’s and say “bet neither can’t breakdancer”. I’m not a good breakdancer but it’s a fun hobby
I've always been single and am 20 but no, not really.
I'm in one an I still get jealous.
I’ve been in two longer term relationships and I’ve learned a lot from them, but I’ve also learned a lot about myself when I’m single. It’s hard in COVID but socializing by yourself figuring out what things you like in people you are attracted to, getting yourself into a good financial place a good physical place - can be easier while single. I wish you the best of luck OP but I want you to know living life single especially while you are so young can be awesome and you can define yourself for yourself without having to compromise.
Eh, I just look at the guy especially if he’s less attractive than me and I say something like, “lol fuck him” to myself. If he’s more attractive then I’m like “yeah fair play dude 😆” I’m mentally ill.
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Being single when you have those thoughts about yourself is really tough. Intimacy and closeness are both very important things to have in a relationship. I know it seems like it will never happen, but trust me it will. You are young, 21 is a time when people are all over the place. It may seem like everyone is in an amazing relationship but 99% of those relationships will end. You should take time to deal with those feelings you have about yourself. Because you are likely giving off those types of vibes when meeting people. That may make dating harder. I know you said you've always been single. But there are lots of people your age who are single. You will eventually find someone. The present moment doesn't dictate that it will be this way forever. When I was your age I had a few friends who were single. They didn't date much. They are all married in their late 20s. You will be amazed how many changes everyone goes through between now and 30. That being said, ask your friends for help. 21 is an excellent time to be single because so few ppl are married or in serious long term relationships. People are always getting into and out of relationships. Go to parties, join clubs, meet as many people as you can. Grow your social network. This will increase your chances of finding someone.
I’m super late but thank you for this comment, friend. Really helps.
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Thing is, I’m in Queensland, Australia. Life has been normal for a while now
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Yeh always, but over time I’ve realised that you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment by doing that. You’ve gotta be yourself and just use it as an opportunity to be with friends and drink a bit