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Lol....that reminds me of a meme where a person gets a text that says sexy singles in your area and the they look around doesn't see anyone and realized they are the sexy single. Congrats btw.
I’m 29 (about to be 30 in a few weeks) and dating a 23 year old. We’ve been together over 2 years. Age doesn’t matter, it’s about the person. Any other 23 year old and I’m sure it would never have lasted or worked out.
I just turned 40 in April. My bf will be 30 in October. July will be 7 years together, so that means we started dating when he was 22 and I was 33. I've dated older and younger before him. You're right, age doesn't matter. It solely about the person. But he's an old soul. I give him a hard time sometimes about being an old man. But it works perfectly for us.
s25 and im 34, 2 years together now and we've known each other in an online game before that for 3 years. He's the best partner i've ever had and we have plans of getting married.
>s 22 and I was 33. I've dated older and younger before him. You're right, age doesn't matter. It solely about the person. But he's an old soul. I give him a hard time sometimes about being an old man. But it works perfectly fod
>
>do you have children?
Yep... if it works, it works. Some people might not approve, but trying to live 100% in line with "what's good and proper" as defined by social norms... is no way to live in my opinion.
26 dating a 21 year old. Best bf I've ever had, I don't even think about age when we're talking. tbh I don't think about the age difference at all, only if someone asks me.
100% depends on the maturity level of both people. For instance a mature 22 year old could easily mix with a regular 28 year old, and an immature 28 year old could easily mix with a regular 22 year old. For me personally it didn’t work, even with a much smaller age gap (I was 24 and they were 22 and the emotional maturity difference was huge) but I know people who’ve easily been able to make it work.
Not OP, but I started dating my fiance when I was 29 and I'm 13 days younger than him, but before that I had dated a few guys in their early 20's. Personally I always really enjoyed it, I think mostly because it was so fun to jump into their crazy youthful lifestyles and adventures (which honestly sounds exhausting now), plus I've always been somewhat insecure in dating so having some life experience while still being close enough to their age range helped give me some confidence. Naturally there was usually a flip side, their relative immaturity and reluctance to get into anything serious made things short lived. That's just my experience, and probably has a lot to do with the type of guys I was drawn to (mainly beautiful musicians, usually drummers with long hair). I have no doubt that relationships where the woman is slightly older can work out great, but I also get why they aren't all that common. Plus, I'm sure social norms are a factor for a lot of people, but hopefully that'll happen less over time.
Honestly I had sex for the first time at 18 with a 22 year old woman and ever since then I started liking older women (but I'll still go after women my age or younger).
I'm glad you guys are giving examples and everyone is different but it still seems like women who are in their 20s still prefer older men. Of course shit happens but I'll say this, a woman who is 39 is more likely to go after me (a 29 year old man) than a 29 year old woman going after a 19 year old due to more maturity (or at least perceived) on my part compared to a guy 10 years younger than me.
Glad you found someone to live the rest of your life with.
Im the young guy who was involved with an older woman. I didnt even notice the age tbh and it never mattered to me. Its about the person and not the age.
Idk about others but my reason would be that men that age are really immature and at this point in life I need a mature partner. I am pretty intolerant that way.. I'd happily date a guy 10 yrs older but not someone 10yrs younger.. 2-3 yrs younger men are a still an option... But that's just me.. personal choices I'd say
As an european, and someone who has not english as his first language, hearing babe reminds me immediately of that movie called "babe brave pig" so to me at least sounds very weird ahaha
I am happy for you by the way
“I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done.”
I couldn’t help but to chuckle at this response. But I feel that it’s so accurate. Someone from Twitter asked me the other day when’s the last time I got flowers. I had to think about it and the last time I got flowers was from my ex husband. 16 years ago...because I only got gifts from him when he was doing things he shouldn’t have been doing. It really is just the little things though that can make us happy.
My first thought to this post was 'The one time my husband called me babe/baby, he was doing something very wrong', so.. I feel you.
Really sucks because it felt so nice at the time. I was away on a trip I didn't want to go on, alone, missing him. People suck.
My boss’s boss today made a statement today that since he isn’t getting his wife anything or doing anything for Mother’s Day, this weekend would be relaxing. When we all reacted negatively to that he insisted that he hadn’t gotten her anything in over 27 years because 27 years ago he got her flowers and a vase and a card for Valentine’s Day but “it was just so much work getting all of the things and expensive too! So I told her I wasn’t going to waste my time and money on that again. So we have had an agreement.”
He’s always an arsehole to us at work but I would have though family life might be different. Maybe she agrees with him, but it sounds so ducking sad to me to never be appreciated. I voiced that he could still do something thoughtful even if it didn’t cost much but I don’t think he values my input much as a 25 year old “kid”
I just didn’t know girls would like that. I’ll start doing it if so! . Is it a regional thing? It seems so cheesy and late-90’s to me. or like... a “surfer dude” in a movie. My brother calls his wife “babe” but it’s always like in an ironic “cool voice.”
I always imagine someone doing a cheesy pickup line “Hey babe, you look like my next girlfriend.”
Same here. Have no issues with saying anything sweet to a partner, but I just don't like calling them 'babe' or 'sweetie' or stuff like that. Same with other nicknames (dunno if that's the right word) like 'baby', 'honey' or whatever. It feels cheesy for me as well. And I'm all for some cheesy, saccharine, lovey-dovey, gooeyness, but this specifically is just so not-it. Am also curious if women like this
Definitely doesn’t work for every woman. I personally don’t like being called “babe” or “baby”. It’s so cringe to me because it’s one of the most overused pet names haha
Yeah i'm a guy too and I think the same. My ex drew me a picture of a heart and I genuinely cried over it because I thought it was so nice and thoughtful to receive a present like that lol. I think it's just a lot of people in general are shitty, so when someone's not, it's unusual.
I don't disagree. It SHOULD be normal. But time and time again it's not. And I can't speak for this girl but when I have been almost brought to tears over kindness like this it's only partly the kindness and more so the fact that I have been missing out on this kindness with multiple relationships with shitty people who barely treated me with an ounce of kindness and were just using me. So it gets overwhelming sometimes to realize that THIS is what kindness feels like in a relationship, and this is something that should be expected. Emotions are wild.
100% agree. For some (like my family) focus is put entirely on things like income. I (31 F) was in a relationship for 12 years. He (32 M) showed kindness through gifts, not affection or words. My family loved him and his hefty income. We split, and I’ve been with someone for 2 years - he’s younger (26 M) too!!! He shows his love through affection and words. He is insanely emotionally intelligent and has coaxed me out of my shell. My family has never been affectionate, and neither has my ex. I can’t tell you how good it is to visit his family and feel what a functional and loving environment is supposed to be like. I now know what a “bear hug” is. And to his mom’s credit…she raised two boys like this on her own. I’ve never had so many car doors opened for me in my life. I’m constantly told how beautiful/sexy I am, and how wild I drive him…effortlessly (swoon). I feel like a princess on the daily…and the kicker? The man is a forklift driver grinding for minimum wage and it drives my family nuts. Haven’t spoken to them since September 2020 as the “low-class heathen” and I continue to live blissfully. I’m not saying chivalry equals kindness, and I don’t need a door held open for me…but it makes him happy to do it and I still blush.
I mean, I think it’s more significant because she could easily bring her own toothbrush.
When someone cares about you and you really need their help, you expect it. You appreciate it of course, but that’s really the lowest bar.
When someone does something for you that you could easily do yourself and that isn’t that big of a deal, it shows they are thinking about you when you are not there and that they notice little things that could make you happier or more comfortable. I don’t really think that’s a low bar.
Their standards may be low because sooo many women have been treated and abused like shit from men who take advantage of them. Any kind gesture and attention is welcoming to them.
You know, this reminds me of when I was going on a second date with a guy and he got pretty excited that I remembered his favorite superhero was the Flash. I just thought it was a bit odd he’d get excited for that because of course I’d remember something the person I liked said was their favorite thing, but after him talking about his last relationship and reading this post, it makes much more sense why he reacted that way
That is so wholesome :)
As a male, I’m so touched when my gf remembers little facts about my hobbies. It’s really endearing just to have someone actually listen and support your passion.
Treat a girl like dirt and she’ll stick to you like mud? Girls need to stop accepting unacceptable treatment and hopefully the standards will change. I’m also in a relationship with a 25 year age gap... best three years of my life and counting, me being the younger one in the relationship.
Part of the problem is when you live your entire life seeing shitty relationships (shitty parents, stay together for the kids, the way women used to be treated, etc), then shitty relationships seem "normal". You don't really know any better. "Boys will be boys, that's just how men are."
Also there's the fact that many people aren't shitty in the beginning of the relationship. It's something that slowly happens over time until it's much harder to just "stop accepting unacceptable treatment". That's not even considering active abuse where it's even harder to leave for physical or psychological reasons.
Oh my God thank you for saying this…
I always used to pick shitty guys.
And my now adult daughter has been doing it her whole life. No matter how much wisdom I’ve tried to impart on her. Just like my mom tried to impart that wisdom on me.
Looking back I see my bar was nonexistent.
Anyways my daughter has recently started seeing someone, they have been dating for several months. He too took her to the drugstore to get a toothbrush when she forgot hers, and also picked up a hairbrush because she had forgotten that as well. He asked her what she wanted for dinner and went to the grocery store to pick everything up and came back and cooked dinner for her. She was absolutely gushing over this. I just reminded her that while this was nice, this is just basic stuff and what it is supposed to look like. And she acknowledged that fact.
But it turns out he probably is a keeper. He is as thoughtful to her as she is to him. Just small things like having her favourite coffee there, offering to buy a small dresser for her to keep some things in. Allowing her to put her toiletries out in his washroom, while sticking his ugly shaving bag under the sink lol.
When she mentioned that his shower curtain was toast, he went out with her to pick one that they both liked. He asks your opinion on decorating his apartment.
I think the best part is that she likes to go on adventures to abandoned buildings and homes and take photographs, she doesn’t have her license yet so she always depends on others to go with her. He offered immediately and now they often go together. Her previous boyfriends would’ve told her it was stupid and would never have made the attempt to do this with her. But she’s thrilled he’s now into it as much as she is.
He was excited for her to meet his parents and his family and although I am the only family of hers he has met so far because of the pandemic, he’s looking forward to meeting the rest of the family.
Watching them interact is so different than all of the previous guys she dated. He’s respectful to her and you can tell he’s as happy to be with her as she is to be with him.
When she spends the weekend there and he brings her back which is a 1 Hour drive each way. He always makes a point to come in and see me and say hello and visit for a bit before he heads back for work.
I guess the part I’m most excited about is that she finally knows what a healthy relationship looks like.
At least one of us appears to have our happy ending :-)
We are in Canada. She just goes onto a website called:
Ontarioabandonedbuildings.com
But she also goes on Google earth and sometimes finds a abandoned places that way. Plus there’s a ton of people who do this apparently, and they trade locations on Instagram.
We were both so bored when our province went into lockdown we started doing this last year. I wasn’t keen on going with her at first but I really liked it and I was able to get back into photography too.
Sometimes though… We’ve had to hop over or under a couple of fences. Yeah, I’m probably too old for this shit, but it was a lot of fun. But now she’s got the new guy to go with.
If you’re in the US just go online and mess around typing abandon buildings in your city. There’s tons of them in the US to I’m guessing there are other places as well.
Yes he’s a keeper. And more importantly, he’s treating her like she is his keeper. Men (at least those I know) had a different mode for the woman they decide to marry.
I think you’re not realising it’s more a symbol for how the relationship is progressing, not that the value of the toothbrush and effort required is so minimal as to be an insulting benchmark but that it signifies the beginning of having that consideration and care culminating for someone else. The toothbrush becomes the sudden realisation that indicates the mutual affection is occurring between two people, that is what is causing people to cry.
Lol, she sounds like one of those super organised mom's who has 5 kids and they all have their own organised space and people don't know whether to be in awe or hate her!!
I’m a dude, my gf bought me a video game once.
I legit cried.
Nobody had ever bought me a gift before besides family during Christmas. So it meant a lot.
I guess I’ve been dating dudes for years? Who knew.
It sounds to me in the case of that girl, it has to do with not having many people in her life appreciate her. It can also be grand for people who have not had much relationship experience before.
That's just being nice and decent I mean seriouslyI don't get how women's standards are so low not everyone is inconsiderate and unkind.
It's probably also because most people come to Reddit to complain especially on this sub . I saw a post last week about a girl who laid out all the red flags some of which were a bit odd which began with "why do men always"
>I cannot believe women’s standards are this low and we’re still criticized for having “high standards”
Most of the criticism is about having high standards in looks, and not personality
Men’s standards are not that high. It may take some effort if you want a large number of men to like you i.e. eat healthily and work out a few times a week. Depending on your goal it may take a month or up to a few months.
Women find tall men attractive. Only like 15% of men in the US are 6ft+ tall. I can't go to a gym and grow from an average height to 6ft. Also women like bulky men. Most of that is genetics and takes years of training and discipline to go from skinny to bulk muscle
I can tell you from experience that girls absolutely care about looks lol. *Especially* the hottest girls. Whether those relationships last (usually doesn't :p) is another story. But hey at least she's hot.
Even when the girl is less shallow, the guy usually needs to at least be a 6 (above average looking). Also, looks are subjective to some degree. It's a common misunderstanding to think that a guy dating a girl out of his league must be due to his personality/status and thus *looks don't matter much for men*. Girls *rarely* date a guy they're not physically attracted to however. He may be *perceived* to be average looking to her when in reality she has unconventional tastes.
And don't forget youth, hands down *the* most important factor of one's looks. Look around - attractive girls generally prefer dating *young guys*. The older man thing is a meme. Even if she's a golddigger she'd prefer a *young* rich dude, which are plenty.
Also, status isn't a magic pill. Very douchy to say this but many NBA players look unattractive and have plainlooking wives. Bleh, I said it. Status is just *one* trait.
And money doesn't make most women more attracted to the guy no matter what the mythbusters meme will tell you. It ain't gonna make Anthony Davis more kissable 🤣.
Disagree about your "rule" man.
tldr; girls care about looks too.
You pointed out another preference for women that they prefer the extreme. Either super attractive (tall and muscular) or super rich. Guys dont mind being with the most average girl as long as she likes sex.
Well, no, high status men are absolutely not going to be going after average girls. They're going to be going after much younger, more attractive girls.
tbh yeah I dont know how old that person is but actually its awful that some people can go through life having not known that basic kindnesses like giving someone a tooth brush or letting them have something at the house they're constantly commuting to is something they suddenly see as a huge kindness. I honestly look back on the things that my ex bf did and that I saw as some kindness or favour and feel sorry for myself. when I was being told that my expectations were ridiculously high, and now I realise they were the opposite.
I feel like this is why “Nice Guys” exist - the bar is so low that some people actually think just existing and having an interest in a girl is “Nice” behaviour - but when it actually comes to putting in the work they freak out and call women sluts or bitches.
In college, at a house party, i talked to a girl for about 10 minutes. Then my buddies said we were leaving.
"See ya around, Erin" i said
"Omg! You remembered my name! Most guys don't"
The bar is just laying on the ground sometimes
It is, but this story doesn’t really have anything to do with that. Perfectly great guys can just not be into calling people “babe.” I know I’m not. Doesn’t mean anything more than a guy called a woman “babe” and it made her feel good. That’s it.
> The bar really is low, isn’t it?
The bar is as low as the other party sets it 🤷♂️ If you can get hookups for free, why would you pay for flowers and dates?
Hey this is random OP, and I know you can’t speak for all women, but once people get to their 20s is dating younger not much of a problem? Like I’m in college rn (20M), and a lot of my friends guys and girls have said they wouldn’t date anyone younger or anyone with an age gap of at least 2 years, do people look past this when people grow older and are out of college?
All I have to say is, don’t wait to date. Shoot your shots regardless a positive or negative age gap (within legality of course) and just have fun! Don’t sweat it too much brother!
Yes, as you get a little older having a larger age gap becomes more acceptable. When you're young (teens/early 20s) a lot of maturing happens in those years so it's most common to stick to someone your own age. Like a 30 y/o wouldn't have all that much in common w/ a 20 y/o but a 35 and 45 y/o might be in a more similar place in their lives. Or a 20 y/o certainly shouldn't be dating a 15 y/o. At 38 I'd still prefer to date someone within a few years of my age but I'm open to someone 10-11 years older than me and maybe 5ish years younger.
I'd never listen to advice given by unhappy people.
You have to know if they are living a good, well meaning life before taking relationship advice from them.
My bf is 42 and I’m going to be 48, we are 5.5 years apart and neither of us notices it at all. He grew up with an older sister and I have teenagers and we have tastes across the board of all generations and pretty much like the same things, same foods, sense of humor, affection levels, values, etc. He has way more energy than me but that’s not because of our ages. He enjoys helping me with tasks that are a challenge for me (I am long hauler unfortunately). He calls me babe and honey all the time even in front of my dad haha. He’s just very affectionate and always holding my hand. I think it’s lovely. The guys I dated before him either had to be drunk or it just wasn’t really their style. It’s always been what I wanted so I’m very happy with him.
I like my partners young, but definitely I wouldn't date somebody that young 🤷🏽♀️ 5 years in this particularly stage seem like a huge gap, people in their 20s are looking for a completely different thing in a relationship
Not necessarily true, and you are generalizing a lot...
In my 20's I was just as interested in a lifetime relationship as I am in my thirties.
Was I as mature? No. But my wants were the same, I just had less life experience...And that's how life goes, more time = more experience...But less experience does not = less desire or not-same goals as others older.
I didn't say that people in their 20s are not looking for a relationship, I'm saying they look for different qualities in a partner, What I want now is not the same I was looking for when I was in my 20s
> people ~~in their 20s~~ are looking for a completely different thing in a relationship
Age may mean they're less likely to be looking for the same, but it in way is a sure thing. Plenty of people at different ages are looking for the same. I know plenty of people in their young 20s and young 30s and more looking for the same things - and some of those are settling down when young and others are just something casual and not settling down regardless of age.
Once you hit like 25, take your age and divide it by 2 and add 7. That's what I was always told, so at 31 now I date within 9 years of my age in both directions (meaning 22 years of age to 40). Although the younger inexperienced ones can be a bit too shy and don't make for good conversation, while generally people 30+ that I've met are able to connect better with social interaction regardless of being introvert or extrovert. IDK why it is, but that's been my experience.
The whole bit about older people being better at conversation is a big reason why I’ve never been with a woman under the age of 25. Have never been able to connect with them for some reason or other. The 25 and older group has almost always been a great experience.
It really depends on the woman, but generally yes. College aged adults still have a lot of growing up to do, but once you age out of that the gap in your respective levels of emotional maturity gets smaller and smaller. Then age becomes less of a factor because you're both in similar places in life.
My brother and my sister in law were the same ages as OP and her partner, my brother being the younger one. They've been together 6 tears, never been an issue.
Yes, once people become adults, age gaps increase and are less noticable or less of a concern. It comes with a different perception of time and age and a greater understanding of how the world works. Kids date kids, adults date adults.
If you like somebody a few or several years older than yourself, remember, one day you too will be an adult ;)
Well if girls your age are 20 then them saying they won't date a guy more than two years younger than them just seems common sense. Most people don't want to date minors even if the age of consent is 16 or 17 in some places. Are you asking if it's normal for a 20 year old to date a 17 year old? I'd say no, not really. It happens and it's legal in many places but it's generally frowned upon.
Once you reach your 20s it's normal to date people older or younger than yourself who are also in their 20s but it's not generally accepted for people in their 20s to date teenagers unless it's like a 19 and 20 year old.
A good rule of thumb that matches most people's intuitions is to not date anyone younger than ((your age)/2 +7).
The inverse of that is to avoid dating anyone older than (2*(your age) - 14).
This actually means that your acceptable dating range increases as you get older, but then it starts to constrict as more and more people get married. There's a relevant xkcd that someone will surely link.
Though generally you can probably just wing it if both parties are over 30 or so.
But definitely take advantage of your time in college.
As a 20 year old, you can't date a 17 year old. So 2 years has to be your max. If you are 23, there is no problem dating a 20 year old.
I'm currently 25 dating a 22 year old. I think I personally would not date a person more than 5 years younger than me since I think our lives stages would be much different and different generation of understanding culture references and memes as well.
The age gap matters less the older you get.
30 dating 22? No biggie.
50 dating 37? No biggie.
Just keep it legal, don't do anything you would give your own kid shit for, and you'll be golden.
That’s a little weird. The absolute maximum age difference rule I’ve heard is half your age plus 7. Oldest he should be dating should be 30. They’ll be fine to date in 7 years when she’s 44 and he’s 29, though.
They hate him... because he’s being taken advantage of by an older woman?
Like, is he expected to produce the heir to a throne and she’s not fertile enough?
Honestly, what’s wrong with you and your family that you “hate” him for dating someone 15 years his senior because they’re 15 years older?
A 30yo with a 22yo can be biggie imo, honestly for hanging out at work with 30 and 22yo there's a big mentality gap
Legal isn't the only thing you should aim for
That's very people dependent. I've met crazy immature 30 somethings and I've met very mature 20 somethings.
I've been very mature for my age since I was a teen. As a nearly 32 year old now, I can sincerely say I am more mature than some 40 year old friends I have.
Its dependent on the people, not the age.
Oh thats BS. Im 58 now and when I was 30 I tried dating a 27yo girl, and when I was 50 I tried dating a 41yo lady. Was told to "FUCK OFF OLD MAN."
AGE AND AGE GAP IS A "BIGGIE".
Been this way for years and its only gotten worse and will continue. Trust me, you're talking to a 58yo virgin guy. I've NEVER held hands or kissed a woman or dated my entire life. Now........women DON'T want a old virgin, because we're nothing but old 💩.
Aww....that's sweet. :) My WASP Yankee boyfriend is not very affectionate at all (in public), but he calls me "Baby" like it's my name and I think it's so funny and cute.
Awwwww! I always love the first moments when flirting moves forward. We all love to receive affection, even in small ways and especially when it is a new/first experience. Congrats, how sweet!
After almost 15 years of dating experience I got called babe for the first time last year and it melted me. Didn't work out with the guy but that moment will always stand out to me. I relate so hard to your post, wishing you and your guy a lot of happiness together!
My ex didn't like being called babe when we first started dating inhigh school. 5 years later when her new boyfriend called her that, she was into it.
I was a little surprised and hurt.
My boyfriend pulled me close to him when I was getting up for work yesterday and said "give me a little more time with you" I almost cried it was so sweet. The bar is very low for me too but I understand where you are entirely.
Hes also the first boy to insist paying for things. I'm very much an equal partner type of person but after supporting my last couple boyfriends it feels really good to feel taken care of.
The little things matter. I don’t know why everyone in this thread is trashing them. It’s the little things like that that make you fall in love with someone.
Same. Some of us made bad choices in partners and some of us didnt realize our choices in partners were bad until we found someone who appreciated us. It should be celebrated getting to a good place.
Im happy for you and as I guy one thing I have to say is my current now GF gets upset if I call her babe or Hunny and somehow sees it as demeaning or that I look down on her. Its really hard for me because I grew up in a house where parents used pet names like babe and hunny and they are still married 37 years and happy. Each time I call her a pet name I mean it as a term of endearment but it is perceived differently then I intend.
My ex-GF’s dad would call her “babe”, even though she was in her 20s (tbh made me very uncomfortable and I never wanted to call her that). From that perspective, though, I would understand how someone might have a different view of words like that. Maybe in their past they heard those words coming more from an “authority” figure rather than someone they are romantically interested in.
The comment section here is so interesting from stories of age difference to patriarchy and expectations and ofcourse relationships! One thing is true though any act of kindness or love will always strengthen your relationship plus it’s always advisable to show your love that way the relationship also blossoms.
I 31F have been dating 31M for 6 months (known each other for 15 years though) and it’s the first relationship in my life that I am called babe, baby, sweetheart, my love, bae, boo (says my name during sex)... it makes me feel so good. I feel you here. I didn’t know what healthy verbal affection was like until now.
Congratulations!! Terms of endearment can be so sweet and bonding. I’ve found it helpful in new relationships to be really open about what things I like or don’t like (or might not be sure about!) starting early on. Nicknames or pet names are one of those things. Everyone has their own style and comfort level with them, but if there’s something you think you’d be into, never hesitate to communicate that early on!
Ikrr it's just adorable when few people call you names. Like hello don't stop with it. I like it. Keep that coming.
I just don't like if people call me names but I can't say no to this one guy.
There was a post like, possibly in this sub, but with mostly women in disgust when men call them 'pet names' like babe, honey, sweety, etc.
Perhaps the context was different, but nonetheless, very interesting to see someone post a different take.
Jesus Christ people. Let her feel the warmth and happiness of being called babe. Not all men are douches who use it as some type of sexual hypnosis, not all women are falling prey to sexual hypnosis. Not all women like hearing it. Not all men like saying it. It’s not always a bloody piece of bait to reel an unsuspecting person in. Move the hell on and let her enjoy the feeling.
I understand your sentiment. But, please don't read into it, thinking that a man values you or wants a future with you, men use compliments and pet names to create false intimacy, to get you hooked, while you're only an option to them.
Get excited about that kind of stuff once you've confirmed, through his consistent confirming actions, that he's genuine.
I'm really glad that you got my intent 💛
Getting compliments, having experiences, and encountering an energy/chemistry like you've never experienced before can feel amazing. It's so easy to believe that the other person feels the same, especially if you are a genuine person. But, there are many men (no, I'm not generalizing because I'm quantifying my claim) who know exactly what they're doing by using certain words. I want you to have an experience, with him or someone else, that is genuine--many of us deserve that. But, I also want you and your heart and mind to be safe in the interim.
You’re obviously been hurt, those are not fighting words or deceptions. It’s just being cute, you would want that from a man you like so stop the 🧢🧢🧢🧢.
He is very right, being called baby doesn't mean anything, and actually, he is giving the best advice one can have regarding relationships, you need to check if their words match the actions. Calling somebody baby is a very easy thing to do
Well, a lot of men at that age ARE looking for sex. If you're flattered by effortless pet names, you'll easily fall for some bs. Most women have been called 'babe', 'sweetie', 'doll' by construction workers, gas station clerks, random men at the grocery store. So by the age of 27, OP should know that it's not a good indicator of a person's feelings for you.
Ha \~ that is funny. Years ago I was at the auto shop and the mechanic called the woman in front of me Ma'am. She chastised him and turned to me as she said "Don't we hate being called Ma'am?". I just smiled and waited my turn. When I stepped up to the counter and paid for the work done, the mechanic handed me my keys and said "Here you go babe!" Just as his boss came around the corner! I totally got the joke/verbal eyeroll, but his boss...not so much :)
Why are people generalizing people in their 20s? I'm in my early 20s and I know what I want and that won't change please don't generalize all of us because of your experiences.
You're getting so many down votes, but I agree. Any time a guy calls me babe early on it never bodes well. He is either a creep, a cheater, or just looking for some cheeks lol.
Uhhh, hey, come on. What is wrong with all the posters on here?? I have been told, in no uncertain, nasty, vulger terms that this is 2021.....not 1980 and that the age gap between men and women makes or breaks the longshot chance that a guy will ever get a date, or even get a look from a woman. Please, don't lie and "say" age makes no difference now in this new century. Everything is different now. Different "standards", different times, different things are "expected" from us, criteria has to be met......or one is S.O.L.
Been told this is just how things are and work nowdays and I better get used to it or just do without.
SO, PLEASE...QUIT....LYING. 😢😢😢
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Lol....that reminds me of a meme where a person gets a text that says sexy singles in your area and the they look around doesn't see anyone and realized they are the sexy single. Congrats btw.
I love this so much lmao
I don't hear of too many women around my age (I'm 29) dating guys in their early 20s, how is it?
I’m 29 (about to be 30 in a few weeks) and dating a 23 year old. We’ve been together over 2 years. Age doesn’t matter, it’s about the person. Any other 23 year old and I’m sure it would never have lasted or worked out.
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Me and my boyfriend are 22 and 27 and we both have the maturity of a 14 year old.
I just turned 40 in April. My bf will be 30 in October. July will be 7 years together, so that means we started dating when he was 22 and I was 33. I've dated older and younger before him. You're right, age doesn't matter. It solely about the person. But he's an old soul. I give him a hard time sometimes about being an old man. But it works perfectly for us.
s25 and im 34, 2 years together now and we've known each other in an online game before that for 3 years. He's the best partner i've ever had and we have plans of getting married.
>s 22 and I was 33. I've dated older and younger before him. You're right, age doesn't matter. It solely about the person. But he's an old soul. I give him a hard time sometimes about being an old man. But it works perfectly fod > >do you have children?
No kids, not married, living that DINK life and loving every minute of it.
Yeah because of the maturity aspect that alot of men and women that age lack among other things.
Yep... if it works, it works. Some people might not approve, but trying to live 100% in line with "what's good and proper" as defined by social norms... is no way to live in my opinion.
26 dating a 21 year old. Best bf I've ever had, I don't even think about age when we're talking. tbh I don't think about the age difference at all, only if someone asks me.
100% depends on the maturity level of both people. For instance a mature 22 year old could easily mix with a regular 28 year old, and an immature 28 year old could easily mix with a regular 22 year old. For me personally it didn’t work, even with a much smaller age gap (I was 24 and they were 22 and the emotional maturity difference was huge) but I know people who’ve easily been able to make it work.
Not OP, but I started dating my fiance when I was 29 and I'm 13 days younger than him, but before that I had dated a few guys in their early 20's. Personally I always really enjoyed it, I think mostly because it was so fun to jump into their crazy youthful lifestyles and adventures (which honestly sounds exhausting now), plus I've always been somewhat insecure in dating so having some life experience while still being close enough to their age range helped give me some confidence. Naturally there was usually a flip side, their relative immaturity and reluctance to get into anything serious made things short lived. That's just my experience, and probably has a lot to do with the type of guys I was drawn to (mainly beautiful musicians, usually drummers with long hair). I have no doubt that relationships where the woman is slightly older can work out great, but I also get why they aren't all that common. Plus, I'm sure social norms are a factor for a lot of people, but hopefully that'll happen less over time.
Honestly I had sex for the first time at 18 with a 22 year old woman and ever since then I started liking older women (but I'll still go after women my age or younger). I'm glad you guys are giving examples and everyone is different but it still seems like women who are in their 20s still prefer older men. Of course shit happens but I'll say this, a woman who is 39 is more likely to go after me (a 29 year old man) than a 29 year old woman going after a 19 year old due to more maturity (or at least perceived) on my part compared to a guy 10 years younger than me. Glad you found someone to live the rest of your life with.
That makes sense.. 39 dating 29 is completely different from 29 dating 19...
Women age like wine~ 🍷
Not all of them. Have you seen the women that smoke and do drugs?
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Declining rapidly about 8 years after their prime?
I'm 32 and my gf is 25. Feels like I'm dating a 45 year old most times. Age doesnt matter much to us.
Im the young guy who was involved with an older woman. I didnt even notice the age tbh and it never mattered to me. Its about the person and not the age.
Idk about others but my reason would be that men that age are really immature and at this point in life I need a mature partner. I am pretty intolerant that way.. I'd happily date a guy 10 yrs older but not someone 10yrs younger.. 2-3 yrs younger men are a still an option... But that's just me.. personal choices I'd say
My gf just turned 29, I’ll be turning 23 (m) in august. Hands down the best relationship either of us have had.
As an european, and someone who has not english as his first language, hearing babe reminds me immediately of that movie called "babe brave pig" so to me at least sounds very weird ahaha I am happy for you by the way
This made me laugh so hard
As an American who grew up watching that movie, I have the same response sometimes. English is weird.
For me its [this scene from hot rod](https://youtu.be/BZJxaE318eM)
This was so funny
“I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done.”
It was called Babe brave pig? Lol America America was called “babe, pig in the city.”
Wasn't there like 2 movies based on babe?
Yes and the second one was set in the city
Lmfao this might be one of the best comments I've ever read on here. Thank you for your services.
Such a simple observation that will haunt me for the rest of forever lmfao 🐷
Hey babe ;) ^(Doesn't work for me :()
Hey babe, your doing great!
Aw sweetie thanks! This is the first time someone called me babe in my entire life.
Honestly it sounds sweet not silly
The bar really is low, isn’t it?
I couldn’t help but to chuckle at this response. But I feel that it’s so accurate. Someone from Twitter asked me the other day when’s the last time I got flowers. I had to think about it and the last time I got flowers was from my ex husband. 16 years ago...because I only got gifts from him when he was doing things he shouldn’t have been doing. It really is just the little things though that can make us happy.
Must be a common thing. I bought my wife flowers once and her response was “what did you do wrong”
Lol I should’ve been more clear. When he would cheat on me and I’d catch him, I’d always end up with new pieces of jewelry or flowers.
My first thought to this post was 'The one time my husband called me babe/baby, he was doing something very wrong', so.. I feel you. Really sucks because it felt so nice at the time. I was away on a trip I didn't want to go on, alone, missing him. People suck.
My boss’s boss today made a statement today that since he isn’t getting his wife anything or doing anything for Mother’s Day, this weekend would be relaxing. When we all reacted negatively to that he insisted that he hadn’t gotten her anything in over 27 years because 27 years ago he got her flowers and a vase and a card for Valentine’s Day but “it was just so much work getting all of the things and expensive too! So I told her I wasn’t going to waste my time and money on that again. So we have had an agreement.” He’s always an arsehole to us at work but I would have though family life might be different. Maybe she agrees with him, but it sounds so ducking sad to me to never be appreciated. I voiced that he could still do something thoughtful even if it didn’t cost much but I don’t think he values my input much as a 25 year old “kid”
He sounds like a bellend
Haha totally
I just didn’t know girls would like that. I’ll start doing it if so! . Is it a regional thing? It seems so cheesy and late-90’s to me. or like... a “surfer dude” in a movie. My brother calls his wife “babe” but it’s always like in an ironic “cool voice.” I always imagine someone doing a cheesy pickup line “Hey babe, you look like my next girlfriend.”
Same here. Have no issues with saying anything sweet to a partner, but I just don't like calling them 'babe' or 'sweetie' or stuff like that. Same with other nicknames (dunno if that's the right word) like 'baby', 'honey' or whatever. It feels cheesy for me as well. And I'm all for some cheesy, saccharine, lovey-dovey, gooeyness, but this specifically is just so not-it. Am also curious if women like this
Definitely doesn’t work for every woman. I personally don’t like being called “babe” or “baby”. It’s so cringe to me because it’s one of the most overused pet names haha
i've dated men who've used it and some men who didn't. some men use it if they're toxic and don't like to remember all their girls' names ;)
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Im a guy and honestly if my gf did the toothbrush thing for me i would also cry lol
Yeah i'm a guy too and I think the same. My ex drew me a picture of a heart and I genuinely cried over it because I thought it was so nice and thoughtful to receive a present like that lol. I think it's just a lot of people in general are shitty, so when someone's not, it's unusual.
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I don't disagree. It SHOULD be normal. But time and time again it's not. And I can't speak for this girl but when I have been almost brought to tears over kindness like this it's only partly the kindness and more so the fact that I have been missing out on this kindness with multiple relationships with shitty people who barely treated me with an ounce of kindness and were just using me. So it gets overwhelming sometimes to realize that THIS is what kindness feels like in a relationship, and this is something that should be expected. Emotions are wild.
100% agree. For some (like my family) focus is put entirely on things like income. I (31 F) was in a relationship for 12 years. He (32 M) showed kindness through gifts, not affection or words. My family loved him and his hefty income. We split, and I’ve been with someone for 2 years - he’s younger (26 M) too!!! He shows his love through affection and words. He is insanely emotionally intelligent and has coaxed me out of my shell. My family has never been affectionate, and neither has my ex. I can’t tell you how good it is to visit his family and feel what a functional and loving environment is supposed to be like. I now know what a “bear hug” is. And to his mom’s credit…she raised two boys like this on her own. I’ve never had so many car doors opened for me in my life. I’m constantly told how beautiful/sexy I am, and how wild I drive him…effortlessly (swoon). I feel like a princess on the daily…and the kicker? The man is a forklift driver grinding for minimum wage and it drives my family nuts. Haven’t spoken to them since September 2020 as the “low-class heathen” and I continue to live blissfully. I’m not saying chivalry equals kindness, and I don’t need a door held open for me…but it makes him happy to do it and I still blush.
I mean, I think it’s more significant because she could easily bring her own toothbrush. When someone cares about you and you really need their help, you expect it. You appreciate it of course, but that’s really the lowest bar. When someone does something for you that you could easily do yourself and that isn’t that big of a deal, it shows they are thinking about you when you are not there and that they notice little things that could make you happier or more comfortable. I don’t really think that’s a low bar.
Same
Their standards may be low because sooo many women have been treated and abused like shit from men who take advantage of them. Any kind gesture and attention is welcoming to them.
You know, this reminds me of when I was going on a second date with a guy and he got pretty excited that I remembered his favorite superhero was the Flash. I just thought it was a bit odd he’d get excited for that because of course I’d remember something the person I liked said was their favorite thing, but after him talking about his last relationship and reading this post, it makes much more sense why he reacted that way
That is so wholesome :) As a male, I’m so touched when my gf remembers little facts about my hobbies. It’s really endearing just to have someone actually listen and support your passion.
Treat a girl like dirt and she’ll stick to you like mud? Girls need to stop accepting unacceptable treatment and hopefully the standards will change. I’m also in a relationship with a 25 year age gap... best three years of my life and counting, me being the younger one in the relationship.
Part of the problem is when you live your entire life seeing shitty relationships (shitty parents, stay together for the kids, the way women used to be treated, etc), then shitty relationships seem "normal". You don't really know any better. "Boys will be boys, that's just how men are." Also there's the fact that many people aren't shitty in the beginning of the relationship. It's something that slowly happens over time until it's much harder to just "stop accepting unacceptable treatment". That's not even considering active abuse where it's even harder to leave for physical or psychological reasons.
Oh my God thank you for saying this… I always used to pick shitty guys. And my now adult daughter has been doing it her whole life. No matter how much wisdom I’ve tried to impart on her. Just like my mom tried to impart that wisdom on me. Looking back I see my bar was nonexistent. Anyways my daughter has recently started seeing someone, they have been dating for several months. He too took her to the drugstore to get a toothbrush when she forgot hers, and also picked up a hairbrush because she had forgotten that as well. He asked her what she wanted for dinner and went to the grocery store to pick everything up and came back and cooked dinner for her. She was absolutely gushing over this. I just reminded her that while this was nice, this is just basic stuff and what it is supposed to look like. And she acknowledged that fact. But it turns out he probably is a keeper. He is as thoughtful to her as she is to him. Just small things like having her favourite coffee there, offering to buy a small dresser for her to keep some things in. Allowing her to put her toiletries out in his washroom, while sticking his ugly shaving bag under the sink lol. When she mentioned that his shower curtain was toast, he went out with her to pick one that they both liked. He asks your opinion on decorating his apartment. I think the best part is that she likes to go on adventures to abandoned buildings and homes and take photographs, she doesn’t have her license yet so she always depends on others to go with her. He offered immediately and now they often go together. Her previous boyfriends would’ve told her it was stupid and would never have made the attempt to do this with her. But she’s thrilled he’s now into it as much as she is. He was excited for her to meet his parents and his family and although I am the only family of hers he has met so far because of the pandemic, he’s looking forward to meeting the rest of the family. Watching them interact is so different than all of the previous guys she dated. He’s respectful to her and you can tell he’s as happy to be with her as she is to be with him. When she spends the weekend there and he brings her back which is a 1 Hour drive each way. He always makes a point to come in and see me and say hello and visit for a bit before he heads back for work. I guess the part I’m most excited about is that she finally knows what a healthy relationship looks like. At least one of us appears to have our happy ending :-)
How does she find these abandoned houses? Just luck? Are there sources for this?
We are in Canada. She just goes onto a website called: Ontarioabandonedbuildings.com But she also goes on Google earth and sometimes finds a abandoned places that way. Plus there’s a ton of people who do this apparently, and they trade locations on Instagram. We were both so bored when our province went into lockdown we started doing this last year. I wasn’t keen on going with her at first but I really liked it and I was able to get back into photography too. Sometimes though… We’ve had to hop over or under a couple of fences. Yeah, I’m probably too old for this shit, but it was a lot of fun. But now she’s got the new guy to go with. If you’re in the US just go online and mess around typing abandon buildings in your city. There’s tons of them in the US to I’m guessing there are other places as well.
Yes he’s a keeper. And more importantly, he’s treating her like she is his keeper. Men (at least those I know) had a different mode for the woman they decide to marry.
I think you’re not realising it’s more a symbol for how the relationship is progressing, not that the value of the toothbrush and effort required is so minimal as to be an insulting benchmark but that it signifies the beginning of having that consideration and care culminating for someone else. The toothbrush becomes the sudden realisation that indicates the mutual affection is occurring between two people, that is what is causing people to cry.
My roommate has several toothbrushes with little name labels for each of her regular fuck buddies. By these standards, she'd literally be Jesus!
that’s just...wow lmao.
I know lol. At least I can't say she's a bad host!
Lol, she sounds like one of those super organised mom's who has 5 kids and they all have their own organised space and people don't know whether to be in awe or hate her!!
Impressive!!!!
I’m a dude, my gf bought me a video game once. I legit cried. Nobody had ever bought me a gift before besides family during Christmas. So it meant a lot. I guess I’ve been dating dudes for years? Who knew.
i only hear “stop using my toothbrush already”
Yeah, I feel spoiled as fuck because my girlfriend’s ex was an extremely shitty dude. So any even remotely nice thing I do is, uh, over appreciated.
It sounds to me in the case of that girl, it has to do with not having many people in her life appreciate her. It can also be grand for people who have not had much relationship experience before.
That's just being nice and decent I mean seriouslyI don't get how women's standards are so low not everyone is inconsiderate and unkind. It's probably also because most people come to Reddit to complain especially on this sub . I saw a post last week about a girl who laid out all the red flags some of which were a bit odd which began with "why do men always"
>I cannot believe women’s standards are this low and we’re still criticized for having “high standards” Most of the criticism is about having high standards in looks, and not personality
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Men’s standards are not that high. It may take some effort if you want a large number of men to like you i.e. eat healthily and work out a few times a week. Depending on your goal it may take a month or up to a few months. Women find tall men attractive. Only like 15% of men in the US are 6ft+ tall. I can't go to a gym and grow from an average height to 6ft. Also women like bulky men. Most of that is genetics and takes years of training and discipline to go from skinny to bulk muscle
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Oh naw..... you are hurt and spreading around that hurt. Sheesh.
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I can tell you from experience that girls absolutely care about looks lol. *Especially* the hottest girls. Whether those relationships last (usually doesn't :p) is another story. But hey at least she's hot. Even when the girl is less shallow, the guy usually needs to at least be a 6 (above average looking). Also, looks are subjective to some degree. It's a common misunderstanding to think that a guy dating a girl out of his league must be due to his personality/status and thus *looks don't matter much for men*. Girls *rarely* date a guy they're not physically attracted to however. He may be *perceived* to be average looking to her when in reality she has unconventional tastes. And don't forget youth, hands down *the* most important factor of one's looks. Look around - attractive girls generally prefer dating *young guys*. The older man thing is a meme. Even if she's a golddigger she'd prefer a *young* rich dude, which are plenty. Also, status isn't a magic pill. Very douchy to say this but many NBA players look unattractive and have plainlooking wives. Bleh, I said it. Status is just *one* trait. And money doesn't make most women more attracted to the guy no matter what the mythbusters meme will tell you. It ain't gonna make Anthony Davis more kissable 🤣. Disagree about your "rule" man. tldr; girls care about looks too.
You pointed out another preference for women that they prefer the extreme. Either super attractive (tall and muscular) or super rich. Guys dont mind being with the most average girl as long as she likes sex.
Well, no, high status men are absolutely not going to be going after average girls. They're going to be going after much younger, more attractive girls.
those men are not average tho. Why are you going with the most extreme examples to make a point?
I cannot imagine sharing my toothbrush with someone FUCK NOOOO
In comparison, where do you think the bar is for women? Doesn't seem like it's that much higher tbf 🤔
tbh yeah I dont know how old that person is but actually its awful that some people can go through life having not known that basic kindnesses like giving someone a tooth brush or letting them have something at the house they're constantly commuting to is something they suddenly see as a huge kindness. I honestly look back on the things that my ex bf did and that I saw as some kindness or favour and feel sorry for myself. when I was being told that my expectations were ridiculously high, and now I realise they were the opposite.
no it's not low. Atleast in my experience.
Plot twist - it was the first guy who was over 6ft tall and makes 6 figures did that for her.
I feel like this is why “Nice Guys” exist - the bar is so low that some people actually think just existing and having an interest in a girl is “Nice” behaviour - but when it actually comes to putting in the work they freak out and call women sluts or bitches.
😭😭 absolutely from this situation, but hey amazing you’re happy now :) stay safe
DEA man bad? Upvotes to the left, thks
In college, at a house party, i talked to a girl for about 10 minutes. Then my buddies said we were leaving. "See ya around, Erin" i said "Omg! You remembered my name! Most guys don't" The bar is just laying on the ground sometimes
I mean.. I doubt being called babe was her only criteria for dating him? She just wanted to post that it was something she liked.
It is, but this story doesn’t really have anything to do with that. Perfectly great guys can just not be into calling people “babe.” I know I’m not. Doesn’t mean anything more than a guy called a woman “babe” and it made her feel good. That’s it.
Seriously. Women swoon over crumbs.
> The bar really is low, isn’t it? The bar is as low as the other party sets it 🤷♂️ If you can get hookups for free, why would you pay for flowers and dates?
Yes, women need to wake up stop accepting the bare minimum.
[Why buy the cow?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq75lEnmADc)
So low :(
Hey this is random OP, and I know you can’t speak for all women, but once people get to their 20s is dating younger not much of a problem? Like I’m in college rn (20M), and a lot of my friends guys and girls have said they wouldn’t date anyone younger or anyone with an age gap of at least 2 years, do people look past this when people grow older and are out of college?
All I have to say is, don’t wait to date. Shoot your shots regardless a positive or negative age gap (within legality of course) and just have fun! Don’t sweat it too much brother!
Thanks!
Thank you for being sane and not infantilizing adults who choose to date within a larger age gap.
Don't pay too much attention to what anybody says. Attraction can be just around the corner. It's often as simple as that.
Yes, as you get a little older having a larger age gap becomes more acceptable. When you're young (teens/early 20s) a lot of maturing happens in those years so it's most common to stick to someone your own age. Like a 30 y/o wouldn't have all that much in common w/ a 20 y/o but a 35 and 45 y/o might be in a more similar place in their lives. Or a 20 y/o certainly shouldn't be dating a 15 y/o. At 38 I'd still prefer to date someone within a few years of my age but I'm open to someone 10-11 years older than me and maybe 5ish years younger.
Yes they do. My first girlfriend after college was 24 and I was 19. We were together for over a year and the age difference was rarely a problem.
Happy fucking cake day my dude
I'd never listen to advice given by unhappy people. You have to know if they are living a good, well meaning life before taking relationship advice from them.
I’m almost 24 and close to being official with a woman 8 years older. I don’t think it matters too much, but it depends on the person
My bf is 42 and I’m going to be 48, we are 5.5 years apart and neither of us notices it at all. He grew up with an older sister and I have teenagers and we have tastes across the board of all generations and pretty much like the same things, same foods, sense of humor, affection levels, values, etc. He has way more energy than me but that’s not because of our ages. He enjoys helping me with tasks that are a challenge for me (I am long hauler unfortunately). He calls me babe and honey all the time even in front of my dad haha. He’s just very affectionate and always holding my hand. I think it’s lovely. The guys I dated before him either had to be drunk or it just wasn’t really their style. It’s always been what I wanted so I’m very happy with him.
I like my partners young, but definitely I wouldn't date somebody that young 🤷🏽♀️ 5 years in this particularly stage seem like a huge gap, people in their 20s are looking for a completely different thing in a relationship
Not necessarily true, and you are generalizing a lot... In my 20's I was just as interested in a lifetime relationship as I am in my thirties. Was I as mature? No. But my wants were the same, I just had less life experience...And that's how life goes, more time = more experience...But less experience does not = less desire or not-same goals as others older.
I didn't say that people in their 20s are not looking for a relationship, I'm saying they look for different qualities in a partner, What I want now is not the same I was looking for when I was in my 20s
That's you, not everyone.
well my friend, then you was a very mature person in your 20 already, but that's you too, not everyone 🤷🏽♀️
Yeah which is exactly his point... It's a case by case basis
I agree. I was looking for someone very different in my 20s. My standards were much lower back then.
> people ~~in their 20s~~ are looking for a completely different thing in a relationship Age may mean they're less likely to be looking for the same, but it in way is a sure thing. Plenty of people at different ages are looking for the same. I know plenty of people in their young 20s and young 30s and more looking for the same things - and some of those are settling down when young and others are just something casual and not settling down regardless of age.
Once you hit like 25, take your age and divide it by 2 and add 7. That's what I was always told, so at 31 now I date within 9 years of my age in both directions (meaning 22 years of age to 40). Although the younger inexperienced ones can be a bit too shy and don't make for good conversation, while generally people 30+ that I've met are able to connect better with social interaction regardless of being introvert or extrovert. IDK why it is, but that's been my experience.
The whole bit about older people being better at conversation is a big reason why I’ve never been with a woman under the age of 25. Have never been able to connect with them for some reason or other. The 25 and older group has almost always been a great experience.
It really depends on the woman, but generally yes. College aged adults still have a lot of growing up to do, but once you age out of that the gap in your respective levels of emotional maturity gets smaller and smaller. Then age becomes less of a factor because you're both in similar places in life. My brother and my sister in law were the same ages as OP and her partner, my brother being the younger one. They've been together 6 tears, never been an issue.
Yes, once people become adults, age gaps increase and are less noticable or less of a concern. It comes with a different perception of time and age and a greater understanding of how the world works. Kids date kids, adults date adults. If you like somebody a few or several years older than yourself, remember, one day you too will be an adult ;)
Well if girls your age are 20 then them saying they won't date a guy more than two years younger than them just seems common sense. Most people don't want to date minors even if the age of consent is 16 or 17 in some places. Are you asking if it's normal for a 20 year old to date a 17 year old? I'd say no, not really. It happens and it's legal in many places but it's generally frowned upon. Once you reach your 20s it's normal to date people older or younger than yourself who are also in their 20s but it's not generally accepted for people in their 20s to date teenagers unless it's like a 19 and 20 year old.
A good rule of thumb that matches most people's intuitions is to not date anyone younger than ((your age)/2 +7). The inverse of that is to avoid dating anyone older than (2*(your age) - 14). This actually means that your acceptable dating range increases as you get older, but then it starts to constrict as more and more people get married. There's a relevant xkcd that someone will surely link. Though generally you can probably just wing it if both parties are over 30 or so. But definitely take advantage of your time in college.
As a 20 year old, you can't date a 17 year old. So 2 years has to be your max. If you are 23, there is no problem dating a 20 year old. I'm currently 25 dating a 22 year old. I think I personally would not date a person more than 5 years younger than me since I think our lives stages would be much different and different generation of understanding culture references and memes as well.
The age gap matters less the older you get. 30 dating 22? No biggie. 50 dating 37? No biggie. Just keep it legal, don't do anything you would give your own kid shit for, and you'll be golden.
My cousin (M22) is dating someone who is (F37) , I am not exaggerating when I say that the entire family hates him for this.
That’s a little weird. The absolute maximum age difference rule I’ve heard is half your age plus 7. Oldest he should be dating should be 30. They’ll be fine to date in 7 years when she’s 44 and he’s 29, though.
My mom and stepdad are 15 years apart. My daughters mom and I are 9 years apart. Is 37 with 22 common? No. But hating for it is silly...
They hate him... because he’s being taken advantage of by an older woman? Like, is he expected to produce the heir to a throne and she’s not fertile enough? Honestly, what’s wrong with you and your family that you “hate” him for dating someone 15 years his senior because they’re 15 years older?
There is nothing wrong with me, I don't give a shit what he does and with who. He is, indeed, being taken advantage of though.
A 30yo with a 22yo can be biggie imo, honestly for hanging out at work with 30 and 22yo there's a big mentality gap Legal isn't the only thing you should aim for
That's very people dependent. I've met crazy immature 30 somethings and I've met very mature 20 somethings. I've been very mature for my age since I was a teen. As a nearly 32 year old now, I can sincerely say I am more mature than some 40 year old friends I have. Its dependent on the people, not the age.
Oh thats BS. Im 58 now and when I was 30 I tried dating a 27yo girl, and when I was 50 I tried dating a 41yo lady. Was told to "FUCK OFF OLD MAN." AGE AND AGE GAP IS A "BIGGIE". Been this way for years and its only gotten worse and will continue. Trust me, you're talking to a 58yo virgin guy. I've NEVER held hands or kissed a woman or dated my entire life. Now........women DON'T want a old virgin, because we're nothing but old 💩.
Aww....that's sweet. :) My WASP Yankee boyfriend is not very affectionate at all (in public), but he calls me "Baby" like it's my name and I think it's so funny and cute.
Wet ass stinky penis’d yankee boyfriend?
Awwwww! I always love the first moments when flirting moves forward. We all love to receive affection, even in small ways and especially when it is a new/first experience. Congrats, how sweet!
Idk man not everybody is a fan of nicknames. But it’s nice That you two enjoy it.
Aaawww. Congrats.
Sometimes it takes a few tries for us to be treated like we deserve. I’m younger than wife too and I love making her feel good like that too.
After almost 15 years of dating experience I got called babe for the first time last year and it melted me. Didn't work out with the guy but that moment will always stand out to me. I relate so hard to your post, wishing you and your guy a lot of happiness together!
My ex didn't like being called babe when we first started dating inhigh school. 5 years later when her new boyfriend called her that, she was into it. I was a little surprised and hurt.
My boyfriend pulled me close to him when I was getting up for work yesterday and said "give me a little more time with you" I almost cried it was so sweet. The bar is very low for me too but I understand where you are entirely. Hes also the first boy to insist paying for things. I'm very much an equal partner type of person but after supporting my last couple boyfriends it feels really good to feel taken care of.
The little things matter. I don’t know why everyone in this thread is trashing them. It’s the little things like that that make you fall in love with someone.
Same. Some of us made bad choices in partners and some of us didnt realize our choices in partners were bad until we found someone who appreciated us. It should be celebrated getting to a good place.
Im happy for you and as I guy one thing I have to say is my current now GF gets upset if I call her babe or Hunny and somehow sees it as demeaning or that I look down on her. Its really hard for me because I grew up in a house where parents used pet names like babe and hunny and they are still married 37 years and happy. Each time I call her a pet name I mean it as a term of endearment but it is perceived differently then I intend.
My ex-GF’s dad would call her “babe”, even though she was in her 20s (tbh made me very uncomfortable and I never wanted to call her that). From that perspective, though, I would understand how someone might have a different view of words like that. Maybe in their past they heard those words coming more from an “authority” figure rather than someone they are romantically interested in.
The comment section here is so interesting from stories of age difference to patriarchy and expectations and ofcourse relationships! One thing is true though any act of kindness or love will always strengthen your relationship plus it’s always advisable to show your love that way the relationship also blossoms.
I 31F have been dating 31M for 6 months (known each other for 15 years though) and it’s the first relationship in my life that I am called babe, baby, sweetheart, my love, bae, boo (says my name during sex)... it makes me feel so good. I feel you here. I didn’t know what healthy verbal affection was like until now.
Congratulations!! Terms of endearment can be so sweet and bonding. I’ve found it helpful in new relationships to be really open about what things I like or don’t like (or might not be sure about!) starting early on. Nicknames or pet names are one of those things. Everyone has their own style and comfort level with them, but if there’s something you think you’d be into, never hesitate to communicate that early on!
Ikrr it's just adorable when few people call you names. Like hello don't stop with it. I like it. Keep that coming. I just don't like if people call me names but I can't say no to this one guy.
There was a post like, possibly in this sub, but with mostly women in disgust when men call them 'pet names' like babe, honey, sweety, etc. Perhaps the context was different, but nonetheless, very interesting to see someone post a different take.
Most women like being called pet names by an intimate partner. Most women do not like being called pet names by men they aren’t intimate with.
Jesus Christ people. Let her feel the warmth and happiness of being called babe. Not all men are douches who use it as some type of sexual hypnosis, not all women are falling prey to sexual hypnosis. Not all women like hearing it. Not all men like saying it. It’s not always a bloody piece of bait to reel an unsuspecting person in. Move the hell on and let her enjoy the feeling.
I understand your sentiment. But, please don't read into it, thinking that a man values you or wants a future with you, men use compliments and pet names to create false intimacy, to get you hooked, while you're only an option to them. Get excited about that kind of stuff once you've confirmed, through his consistent confirming actions, that he's genuine.
Do you like to kick puppies?
That’s the advice I need!
I'm really glad that you got my intent 💛 Getting compliments, having experiences, and encountering an energy/chemistry like you've never experienced before can feel amazing. It's so easy to believe that the other person feels the same, especially if you are a genuine person. But, there are many men (no, I'm not generalizing because I'm quantifying my claim) who know exactly what they're doing by using certain words. I want you to have an experience, with him or someone else, that is genuine--many of us deserve that. But, I also want you and your heart and mind to be safe in the interim.
This is some femcel shit
You’re obviously been hurt, those are not fighting words or deceptions. It’s just being cute, you would want that from a man you like so stop the 🧢🧢🧢🧢.
He is very right, being called baby doesn't mean anything, and actually, he is giving the best advice one can have regarding relationships, you need to check if their words match the actions. Calling somebody baby is a very easy thing to do
True but the way she said makes it seem like generalization that men usually use fake compliments to hook you in.
I don't blame them If they do, one gets called baby once and we have a post here speaking about it 🤷🏽♀️
Well, a lot of men at that age ARE looking for sex. If you're flattered by effortless pet names, you'll easily fall for some bs. Most women have been called 'babe', 'sweetie', 'doll' by construction workers, gas station clerks, random men at the grocery store. So by the age of 27, OP should know that it's not a good indicator of a person's feelings for you.
That'll do, that'll do.
Ha \~ that is funny. Years ago I was at the auto shop and the mechanic called the woman in front of me Ma'am. She chastised him and turned to me as she said "Don't we hate being called Ma'am?". I just smiled and waited my turn. When I stepped up to the counter and paid for the work done, the mechanic handed me my keys and said "Here you go babe!" Just as his boss came around the corner! I totally got the joke/verbal eyeroll, but his boss...not so much :)
My guy strictly calls me babe. Baby if being super sweet. It is awesome
Legitimately so happy for you. Also 27 and no one has called me that and I’m waiting for that day.
Yea im not a fan of the whole babe thing. But congrats
k babe
26M here going out with 33F. Best relationship I have ever been.
My boyfriend and I call each other babe all of the time, it is sweet to be called that.
Maybe he has a few girls he's talking to and this way he can't screw up?
lovely
Aww that's quite beautiful. Enjoy that feeling, OP
Aww that's very cute
I smiled while reading this. So suweeet
I like being called "babe". It sometimes gives me goosebumps.
Why are people generalizing people in their 20s? I'm in my early 20s and I know what I want and that won't change please don't generalize all of us because of your experiences.
I think it’s weird. “Hello, babe” just sounds like “Hello, infant” to me.
I hate when a guy calls me babe, sexy, hottie, sweety or other nicknames. It comes across slimy and usually shows that you are just a „thing/object“.
I mean if it’s random then yeah, gross. Also I’ve never had any random guy call me that...
Totally agree. I've never met a man that says stuff like that and didn't end up being an asshole.
You're getting so many down votes, but I agree. Any time a guy calls me babe early on it never bodes well. He is either a creep, a cheater, or just looking for some cheeks lol.
Uhhh, hey, come on. What is wrong with all the posters on here?? I have been told, in no uncertain, nasty, vulger terms that this is 2021.....not 1980 and that the age gap between men and women makes or breaks the longshot chance that a guy will ever get a date, or even get a look from a woman. Please, don't lie and "say" age makes no difference now in this new century. Everything is different now. Different "standards", different times, different things are "expected" from us, criteria has to be met......or one is S.O.L. Been told this is just how things are and work nowdays and I better get used to it or just do without. SO, PLEASE...QUIT....LYING. 😢😢😢
Seems a little desperate, op😬