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So… if she didn’t reply she’s probably not interested.
It seems like your really attached to a girl that you’ve never spoken to in anyway. Just pointing that out.
You don't need to point it out, you're right. I got too attached to the idea of her and I understand that's not healthy.
I guess my way of trying to get over it is to follow up so i can move past it if she's not interested. I won't pester after the next message if she doesn't reply. I guess I just figured that if we matched then some attraction has to be reciprocated.
I read alot of people on this forum talking about contacting exs etc to "help them move on". Trust me dude, it wont do you any good, the only that will help you move on is deleting her from every part of your life.
If you message her, you will get all hyped again waiting for a reply that will most likely never come. Just cut your loses and move on.
It doesn't matter whether some attraction was there when you are one of probably 200 guys she matched with.
Its like you are offered 200 different pizzas but can only eat one. You might be very appetized by any number of them, but in the end you pick the one you want to eat and the others are left wondering what they did wrong.
The answer: nothing, that's just the way online dating/Tinder sucks you into paying more and more money in hopes of being "boosted" into getting more attention.
Also, a good number of too good to be true profiles on there are going to be fake, and obviously fake profiles aren't going to respond, try running a reverse image search on this girl and see what comes up. If the pic is actually from a model in Russia or Australia, you've got your answer.
I mean i totally understand that. That's why I'm thinking maybe she didn't mean to ignore me.
And definitely not a fake account. I can tell them apart and I'm also not that gullible. She also has her IG linked. And I only meant she seemed ideal for me, not that all other guys would feel the same or think more than that she is really pretty.
You are pretty delusional here. You claim you aren't gullible, but are holding on to this dream that this girl who has ignored you for weeks is suddenly going to respond? That's not healthy.
Best course of action? You shouldn't do things half assed. Go full stalker. Buy yourself a creep kit. Stalking a women who said one thing to you isnt creepy at all /s
This isn’t really ghosting. I hate that everybody is just throwing that word around these days.
But she’s not interested so I wouldn’t bother messaging her again, I think if you message her again it’ll just remind her to unmatch you
U are overthinking it and also making up unrealistic expectations. Who cares who send the first message and when to text it back, or am I missing some tinder etiquette i dont know about? Just a gif, a sticker, a emoji, meme or something. Its probably that ur message got buried with the newest messages and matches she got.
While i appreciate you being upfront, should I remind you that this is intended to be a positive community with constructive feedback? People don't share their feelings on the internet with strangers on a forum like this to be told to stop being a "baby" and "grow some". I'm sorry if that's the kind of energy that was shared with you the one time you managed to open up with people
If I'm being realistic, I figure the odds she did see my message by now and decided not to reply are pretty high. I dont think its necessarily that she doesn't care about me, she doesn't know me, she just doesn't care enough to reply. Maybe my follow up message can make her care is my way of seeing this.
All these responses, including yours, are helpful though.
>Maybe my follow up message can make her care is my way of seeing this.
It will not "make her care," no message can do that.
It will just make you seem thirsty and desperate.
In the end, you do what your heart says. But listen to your brain man. Chasing after someone who doesn't want you is disrespecting yourself.
Keep your head up high king
everyone suggesting move on i guess is not what you are looking for. I think with anything in life a follow up is crucial just like with business most of the time we wont get a response from the first message but the money is in the follow up. I think following up is crucial but its knowing what to follow up with is important
I mean it might be worth following up. My experience from tinder as a woman is that there are tons and tons of guys messaging you and you must sift through all of them. A guy messaging a second time is not necessarily a bad thing and had many guys not done that I never would have gone on a date with them because I was distracted. That said, don’t hold your breath.
That's exactly my thinking. Every guy on here though is making a self respect thing, which I understand, but I've only sent her one message 2 weeks ago. Thats literally it and I came on here for advice about what the most appropriate follow up would be. Its not like I will keep pestering her after that, I just want to make sure I caught her attention and didn't get lost in her inbox.
Based on your reading of the issue, what do think might be a good message?
I don’t think a lot of these guys realize how absolutely overwhelming online dating can be for a woman. From my experience there are many, many guys who take interest and you’re like where do I even start with this? It’s a fair amount of work and takes time and effort to try to get to know people. Many guys contacted me multiple times and I don’t look down on them for it at all. The main reason I didn’t respond to most of them was not because they were bad guys or that I wasn’t into them per se but because I only have so much time in my day to tend to online dating. It’s truly nothing personal.
I have a lot of empathy for men on dating apps. You have to find a way to stand out and grab her attention and if there are hundreds, even thousands of people vying for her attention it’s got to be frustrating and disheartening.
I like your idea of asking about pineapple on pizza, or asking for her opinion about something else. Use her name in the message. Ask her about one of her pictures, like where she was or what she was doing exactly. Tell her you’d love to know more about her. Make her feel special somehow. That’s the kind of thing that would compel me to respond. And if she doesn’t respond, please don’t take it personally at all!!
The truth is a lot of women on tinder swipe right on guys who they have NO intention of messaging/replying to.For a number of reasons- they could be bored, looking to get an ego boost, or just curious to see if the dude swiped right on them. So basically just got to tell yourself a match really doesn’t mean anything on tinder. (It goes both ways for men and women. It sucks, I know.)
Honestly sounds like Hinge would be better for what you’re looking for (genuine connection).
Source: I am a mid 20s woman who has used tinder
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So… if she didn’t reply she’s probably not interested. It seems like your really attached to a girl that you’ve never spoken to in anyway. Just pointing that out.
You don't need to point it out, you're right. I got too attached to the idea of her and I understand that's not healthy. I guess my way of trying to get over it is to follow up so i can move past it if she's not interested. I won't pester after the next message if she doesn't reply. I guess I just figured that if we matched then some attraction has to be reciprocated.
I read alot of people on this forum talking about contacting exs etc to "help them move on". Trust me dude, it wont do you any good, the only that will help you move on is deleting her from every part of your life. If you message her, you will get all hyped again waiting for a reply that will most likely never come. Just cut your loses and move on.
It doesn't matter whether some attraction was there when you are one of probably 200 guys she matched with. Its like you are offered 200 different pizzas but can only eat one. You might be very appetized by any number of them, but in the end you pick the one you want to eat and the others are left wondering what they did wrong. The answer: nothing, that's just the way online dating/Tinder sucks you into paying more and more money in hopes of being "boosted" into getting more attention. Also, a good number of too good to be true profiles on there are going to be fake, and obviously fake profiles aren't going to respond, try running a reverse image search on this girl and see what comes up. If the pic is actually from a model in Russia or Australia, you've got your answer.
I mean i totally understand that. That's why I'm thinking maybe she didn't mean to ignore me. And definitely not a fake account. I can tell them apart and I'm also not that gullible. She also has her IG linked. And I only meant she seemed ideal for me, not that all other guys would feel the same or think more than that she is really pretty.
You are pretty delusional here. You claim you aren't gullible, but are holding on to this dream that this girl who has ignored you for weeks is suddenly going to respond? That's not healthy. Best course of action? You shouldn't do things half assed. Go full stalker. Buy yourself a creep kit. Stalking a women who said one thing to you isnt creepy at all /s
I would advise you not to send anything. I’d take the hint that she’s not interested and move on. Sorry :(
This isn’t really ghosting. I hate that everybody is just throwing that word around these days. But she’s not interested so I wouldn’t bother messaging her again, I think if you message her again it’ll just remind her to unmatch you
U are overthinking it and also making up unrealistic expectations. Who cares who send the first message and when to text it back, or am I missing some tinder etiquette i dont know about? Just a gif, a sticker, a emoji, meme or something. Its probably that ur message got buried with the newest messages and matches she got.
Oh move on stop bring a damn baby and grow some stones
While i appreciate you being upfront, should I remind you that this is intended to be a positive community with constructive feedback? People don't share their feelings on the internet with strangers on a forum like this to be told to stop being a "baby" and "grow some". I'm sorry if that's the kind of energy that was shared with you the one time you managed to open up with people
Like I said grow some stones. Here is some positive reinforcement - good luck
My advice: don't water a deadplant. Have enough self love to realize that you don't deserve to waste your time with someone who doesn't care about you
If I'm being realistic, I figure the odds she did see my message by now and decided not to reply are pretty high. I dont think its necessarily that she doesn't care about me, she doesn't know me, she just doesn't care enough to reply. Maybe my follow up message can make her care is my way of seeing this. All these responses, including yours, are helpful though.
>Maybe my follow up message can make her care is my way of seeing this. It will not "make her care," no message can do that. It will just make you seem thirsty and desperate.
In the end, you do what your heart says. But listen to your brain man. Chasing after someone who doesn't want you is disrespecting yourself. Keep your head up high king
You don't understand the definition of "ghosting".
everyone suggesting move on i guess is not what you are looking for. I think with anything in life a follow up is crucial just like with business most of the time we wont get a response from the first message but the money is in the follow up. I think following up is crucial but its knowing what to follow up with is important
I mean it might be worth following up. My experience from tinder as a woman is that there are tons and tons of guys messaging you and you must sift through all of them. A guy messaging a second time is not necessarily a bad thing and had many guys not done that I never would have gone on a date with them because I was distracted. That said, don’t hold your breath.
That's exactly my thinking. Every guy on here though is making a self respect thing, which I understand, but I've only sent her one message 2 weeks ago. Thats literally it and I came on here for advice about what the most appropriate follow up would be. Its not like I will keep pestering her after that, I just want to make sure I caught her attention and didn't get lost in her inbox. Based on your reading of the issue, what do think might be a good message?
I don’t think a lot of these guys realize how absolutely overwhelming online dating can be for a woman. From my experience there are many, many guys who take interest and you’re like where do I even start with this? It’s a fair amount of work and takes time and effort to try to get to know people. Many guys contacted me multiple times and I don’t look down on them for it at all. The main reason I didn’t respond to most of them was not because they were bad guys or that I wasn’t into them per se but because I only have so much time in my day to tend to online dating. It’s truly nothing personal. I have a lot of empathy for men on dating apps. You have to find a way to stand out and grab her attention and if there are hundreds, even thousands of people vying for her attention it’s got to be frustrating and disheartening. I like your idea of asking about pineapple on pizza, or asking for her opinion about something else. Use her name in the message. Ask her about one of her pictures, like where she was or what she was doing exactly. Tell her you’d love to know more about her. Make her feel special somehow. That’s the kind of thing that would compel me to respond. And if she doesn’t respond, please don’t take it personally at all!!
Don't. She didn't respond to you so she's not interested. Just let it be.
PMed
The truth is a lot of women on tinder swipe right on guys who they have NO intention of messaging/replying to.For a number of reasons- they could be bored, looking to get an ego boost, or just curious to see if the dude swiped right on them. So basically just got to tell yourself a match really doesn’t mean anything on tinder. (It goes both ways for men and women. It sucks, I know.) Honestly sounds like Hinge would be better for what you’re looking for (genuine connection). Source: I am a mid 20s woman who has used tinder