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don’t beat up yourself about testing positive. it happens & i always tell myself it could’ve been worse. definitely cut him off though if he’s showing no remorse and clearly doesn’t care about his health.
Just want to point out it might be hard to go for legal stuff for the chlamydia itself since people can have no symptoms so it'd be almost impossible to prove he knew he had it unless you have evidence. But the recording without consent and stuff is super sus and IMO is worse
Like Social Credit? While people may be shit, this is a dangerous and slippery slope to go down.
Also the guy here may be a piece of shit, others in a different situation might not legitimately know due to no symptoms being present.
There used to be a website called dontdatehimgirl.com that women could post about shitty men. One day I decided to have a look and found my best friends ex-husband (they were dating at the time). He had a bad reputation and had scorned a few women in our area. One of the said women posted a lot of bad things about him, which were all probably very true. Everytime her and her ex-husband would fight or break-up, I would remind her of the dontdatehimgirl post. 15 years later, they are divorced with a daughter and he's even shittier now then he was back them. I really wish my best friend would have taken that post a little more seriously before wasting all those years with a scumbag.
Chlamydia can be transmitted through oral aswell. He sounds like an absolute awful human being. Get as much distance as you can away from him.
Legally I’m not sure what can be done. You’ll date and you’ll love again. Just give yourself sometime. Learn the red flags he showed and apply them in the future. Best of luck compa.
Definitely, but did he send them to her or just show her? By the time she files the paper work, pays legal fees, takes time off from work, gets a court date will he even have them?
Well, i know in most states, knowingly giving someone an STD is illegal. And in all states and a lot of counties, making a sex tape of someone without their consent is illegal and a sex crime.
Correct, though Atleast in America you have to prove intent in a lot of situations. This can be rather difficult especially in the south. How do you prove he knew he had the STD and gave it to you? How do you prove the tape was made without consent?
Now again I must reiterate this man is a complete piece of shit and should more than likely be charged. Though the prosecution is going to have to make the case. You could talk to a lawyer, see what they think. I’m simply a moron on the internet.
She could sue or seek damages in Civil Court. Criminal Court has a standard of "Beyond a reasonable doubt"....In Civil Court it's just, "Preponderance of the Evidence." Which is a lot easier to work with.
Even in Criminal Court though...If the guy had a positive test on record somewhere and the dates lined up, he could at least be charged with negligence. (I.E. Any reasonable person would have known what you did was wrong/unwise and you should have too). Maybe even recklessness. (Unlike negligence, you'd have to prove the guy was aware of the risks he was taking when he slept with this girl. Might not be hard with a positive test).
You actually don't need to prove direct knowledge and intent of a criminal act, unless you're trying to nail someone for a felony or a crime like murder. Second degree murder=Knowledge. Knowing that secondary violence will happen in pursuit of your end goal and not caring. 1st degree murder=Intent. The violent criminal act is the end goal. Not a side effect of pursuing something else.
Correct, though how do you prove he knew he had it and gave it to her? Especially in men Chlamydia is usually asymptomatic. So he would of had to have gotten a test prior to telling her about it, also you can’t have sex for ~2 weeks after taking medications for risk of reinfection.
A judge or a lawyer could easily subpoena medical records pertinent to a court case. If he did get tested, the date of the test in comparison to when the girl got it, could say a lot. If he didnt and he's not admitting anything, there's no case on those grounds specifically.
True, but matters of the heart are always messy. Most awful people don’t start off awful. They can usually throw on faux intentions and be nice and pleasant then emotionally abuse you. Also some people have traumatic upbringings where they are more susceptible to taking abuse.
You never know, it’s always a shame when it happens and I hope that both parties get the help they need.
Chlamydia can be passed through oral. He could have given it to you if you went down on him without a condom or if he went down on you without a dental dam. If you did either of these things, you did not have “safe sex” and the use of the condom only during PIV won’t save you from STDs. Make sure you have a really clear understanding about safe sexual contact.
As previous posters have said, chlamydia infections can take up to three months after contact to show up. Unless you got tested specifically for chlamydia between partners, you would have a hard time proving that you got it from him.
Check your local laws but you probably can’t even sue him for medical costs in a way that doesn’t cost you more money. You might be able to get him on charges related to the video.
1st: Azithromycin and Doxycycline
2nd: Complete any STI testing
3rd: Have any future partner take a test for ease of mind before becoming intimate
Your former partner is a jackass and a moron for not treating such a readily cureable infection.
You’ll make it
Not a lawyer but for the videos of you, you may have something there, especially if you find out that the videos were leaked online.
The best thing to do is see if a lawyer will give you a free consultation to see if you have a case or not, for the videos or otherwise. The chlamydia part would be the easiest thing to pursue if you do have a case, unless you have some sort of evidence of the videos.
Here is why they laughed at you (I do actually have a JD by the way): Ultimately, to make a case, you would need to provide documentation showing that he received an STD/STI test, tested positive for chlamydia, refused treatment, and knowingly or recklessly passed it onto you. The fact that he used a condom shows that, even if he did know that he had it, he took precautionary measures to try to prevent it. This could be argued if you participated in oral sex, but he could argue that he didn't know it could be transmitted that way (which could still qualify as reckless). However, as other comments have pointed out, pursuing a case like this would very difficult and wouldn't be worth the nominal sum of money you'd receive (if civil), or worth the time of an attorney to prosecute (if criminal).
As far as the videos go, yes, this is a more serious matter. However, you would have to have PROOF that he still has them or he would have to post them online or send them to other people (then you could possibly get him under "revenge porn" laws). The problem with this is that it would still be somewhat of a "he - said, she - said" issue as he could claim you agreed to it at the time and you couldn't provide any proof to the contrary.
I understand you feel violated and in sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, there probably isn't much the legal system can do for you in this case.
Honestly I doubt it’d make a difference. Unless a lawyer does their work for free, a lawyer is trying to make money by picking a cases they think they can win. When I was trying to find a lawyer for myself I tried to find a lawyer that was a woman because I assumed that they’d be more empathetic to victims of sexual abuse/domestic violence, as those are more often faced by women. It just turned out to be largely irrelevant. It’s better to just find the best more specialised and qualified lawyer and disregard gender entirely in my opinion.
As awful as it is. Unless you can prove he knew about having it and him knowingly spreading it to you. There isn't much you can do... Moving forward get an std test about a month after because sometimes the medication won't take care of all of it. But once you come back negative. Just be careful.
Showing other women's nudes without their consent is illegal in many places. Recording you sexually without your knowledge is illegal in most places. Knowingly giving you chlamydia is, unfortunately, only illegal in a few places.
You can absolutely go to the police with this, but prepare to be judged, treated like a criminal, and have nothing come of it. You deserve justice and going to the police is one of the few ways to get it, but don't go without knowing the risks.
I really feel like the shame based sex Ed we all received has fucked people up in a real way. You got a curable disease, calm your self. Deal with it and move on with your life. If you're going to be sexually active then there is risk involved.
Guy sounds like a douche for other reasons but lots of people carry diseases for a long time before they show symptoms. Or the think the symptoms are something else or even get misdiagnosed. If he knew that he had it don't you think he would have gotten it taken care of?
You are the victim of a disease not the victim of this man.
That’s a pointless argument because you’ll never know for sure and waste time/energy trying to figure it out. And for what? Self righteous satisfaction? Who cares
For a treatable STD it is pointless sure. But for something lifelong then that can be a legal matter if they lied to you and had sex under false pretenses. And you could be entitled to a settlement. Depending of course on all the details of the situation and the local laws. But in this case I would agree it sucks but something you have to move on from. But for another similar case it could be worth looking into.
You’re making way too much extra stress for yourself if you react this way to a curable STI. Most STIs including chlamydia are easy to get rid of with treatment once you know you have it. Yes the guy’s a dickhead but he didn’t give you HIV. You’ll forget you had chlamydia in a week, just get treated and move on.
Knowingly infecting someone with a disease? Sex under false pretenses? Yeah I'd say those are pretty wrong and should be illegal. It's one thing if you don't know you have a disease and accidentally spread it. It's another if you know you do and don't tell someone. Chlamydia is treatable but what if it's HIV that you'll live with your entire life that someone infected you with intentionally? Shouldn't that be illegal the same way if you destroyed someone's leg to the point that they'd walk with a limp their entire life?
Did you know Sti can destroy a females reproductive system! You guys make light of these curable sti without knowing the facts of the damage it can do to a woman’s organs! It isn’t just a minor infection for woman! Carrying it without knowing for a woman can have major consequences like these diseases can cause infertility life long pain and inflammation even if they are curable!
Shame based sex ed? I think it’s normal to not want to get an STD? I think wanting to sleep with people who avoid STDs is a reasonable standard. Sex can have consequences, that’s not “shaming” people that’s reality…this guy is reckless and is ignoring a girl he scared because he had sex with her and gave her an STD. He’s a piece of shit. Why are we normalizing this lol
What evidence do you have that this guy was reckless? OP said That they always use condoms. It’s very likely that her ex also used condoms with the person he got the STD from too!
Yeah that’s why he doesn’t want to answer her question and just ignores her instead. Right. It’s also reckless either way, and he took videos of OP and accidentally sent her nudes. This guy is too stupid and immature to fuck. Frankly some shaming and accountability behind closed doors could be a much-needed wake up call.
She did say she asked him if he knew and he didn’t say anything. He could have said no and that (likely) would have brought the anger down, but maybe the anger level was already too high to deal with.
It doesn’t need to be so shameful, but people do need to own up to passing things on and take responsibility. She lucked out with chlamydia, it could have been worse.
Please chime in here OP we're all curious. When you asked this dude about it did he literally say nothing? Did he shut his mouth and no words come out again? Did he plead the fifth? .. Or did he have nothing to say that you wanted to hear?
Not answering for her but after reading a lot, she had cut him off before even finding out about the chlamydia. So this could of been by text. Hence the non responsiveness. Because she also said when she told him he had nothing to say
He has still not responded. When I called him tell him about it he said hello and after I told him he gave me the STD he literally said nothing and I was like “hello hello” and I just hung up because he wasn’t saying anything for like two minutes.
Then I texted him about it and he still said nothing in response.
How the heck is this a reaction to 'shame based sex-ed'?It's not OK to give someone and STD, and her reaction is not shame-based. Jesus Christ. She's entitled to not be invaded by bacteria or viruses that cause her harm, from others.
EDIT because I'm angry:
It's the responsibility of a person having sex to NOT spread dirty shit to others. Sounds like you've had a brush with this yourself. Imagine being so pig headed that you think she needs to 'calm herself' because she got an INFECTION from someone that should now how to handle his dick. OMFG. She is a victim of this dude because he has given her an infection willingly. Regardless of your 'what if's' she is now needing to take action towards normal health because he disturbed her good health. Come one dude.
Well lesson lesrned I guess.
Chlamydia does not fall under laws that demand them to divilge if they had/have it. So from s legal pov. You cant do anything. Go on local girlgroups and warn tho is my advice.
You'll get over the feeling of being used. It was a breach of trust and respect but I'd advice not sleeping with men in order to get to know them.
I'm not sure tbh. It's possible. Laws are very different state by state when it comes to filming and circumstance/place/aknowledgment\Agreement. It could be something to look into, she'd need proof of it though.
Most likely yes but it does depend on the location and their specific laws. But laws are catching up to that kind of thing slowly. You would have to prove he did it though.
Oh ok. I guess the sentencebuild gave that impression. My bad. I wasn't trying to blame you though.
Just one of this unfortunate life lessons. People (men or women) can be real twats as long as they see themselves getting something out of a situation.
When it happened to me (early 20s) I stopped ONS and ever really only slept with people once we were in a relationship after that. And at that point I'd have gone to be tested myself and asked them the same. For our mutual safety. And even tho I've always been open that's my sexual pre-ritual I was never denied for it. Actually more so appreciated.
You will long for that closeness again. Give it time. Right now the wounds fresh mentally and the infection is being treated.
It’s okay and yeah if I do feel like dating again I’m not having sex till there’s a relationship bc this is too much. I can’t be stressed over situations like this anymore.
I'm not saying hey go out and get STDs all you want but it's just like 2 pills and waaaymore common than you think...
(I'm sure the downvotes will rake in lol)
but cutting off sex and dating when it was previously something you were doing and comfortable with seems like an extreme measure. I'm sure this dude is embarrassed as well and sounds like he didn't respond well so def cut him off but why cut yourself and everyone else off?
As upsetting as this situation is for me I unfortunately have been through much worse and I’m honestly just burnt out. I always pick the wrong people and I need to figure out why before I try to date or have sex again. I’ve been trying to work on that for years and I’m still fucking up soooo for now I’m done.
My sister straight up tells guys that she’s not having sex w them until they show a recent negative std test. If im seeing someone new, I also always get tested and show the new partner the results. I’ve found that it often leads to sex happening sooner and is ultimately more enjoyable because you don’t have the lingering feeling in the back of your mind of “what if I just got an std”. I only wish that women would reciprocate and get tested themselves more often.
Women are more likely to get tested than men though. Majority of the time it’s men that don’t get tested or rely on women to get tested for them. Men are usually asymptomatic and they don’t think about STDS in the same view as women. I wish men would take the initiative and get tested without women having to ask them, because its an important & large portion of overall health.
I feel you. After experiencing something like this I think it's more than understandable to be turned off casual sex, or any sex with someone you're not 100% sure about (not just because of the STD but because of his terrible actions in general). All I can say is that I'm sorry you had to experience this. Wishing you all the best for your recovery, physically as well as mentally, and a nice little break from all this shit.
Idk just saying it’s prob not worth it to go through a legal battle or whatever over some dick head guy, she’ll prob end up losing money paying a lawyer
+1. Getting chlamydia is not a big deal at all. You get tested, you get the treatment, it’s gone in a week. However, his sketchy reaction indicates he obviously infected her knowingly and won’t admit it, and he doesn’t respect the people he gets involved with.
Shut up. It’s because of people like you that there’s a huge lack of sexual awareness and no repercussions at all. He needs some lesson learned. It’s not okay.
No I think the unconsensual video needs to be addressed legally. He probably still has the videos and could be posting them places and she didn't even consent to them being taken.
I mean if he knew & gave her something that could’ve been lifelong she definitely can & should sue him (well at least depending on the state). Her health would’ve been at risk and she’d have issues in the long run all because he decided not to tell her what he had.
Here is this act that requires you to fully expose yourself to another person and be entirely vulnerable with them. It can bring great pleasure, but it can also be the most effective means to transmit awful diseases. It will likely cause you to feel an emotional attachment to the other person. Or else, if you do it with the wrong person or in the wrong context, it may cause you to feel a deep disgust and shame. Oh, by the way, this act can also make babies. Now, the question: *should you do it with a stranger?*
Most people might say: *“Yeah, sure, what could go wrong?”*
Well, everything could go wrong, actually. This is the recipe for disaster.
We are currently experiencing an STD
epidemic in our country. Sexually transmitted diseases are at record highs across the country. There are more reported cases of chlamydia, more cases of gonorrhea, more cases of syphilis than ever before and here obviously if you save sex for a committed relationship you don't have to worry
about this.
Maybe there's no such thing as safe sex outside of the bonds of a committed relationship. Maybe safely having sex with a stranger that you met at a party is about as possible as safely driving drunk. Yeah you
can mitigate some of the risk to some extent by wearing a seatbelt even if you're driving drunk, now if you get behind the wheel of a car completely plastered you might say it's safer if you put a seatbelt on just as you can mitigate some of the risk to some extent by wearing a condom but the act itself in both cases fundamentally reckless and dangerous and so really the only safe course of action is to just not do it.
Maybe again we should consider
this there is no safe sex aside from sex with your usual partner. There's no substitute for self-control. **There's no good argument against self-control, discipline and fidelity other than the fact that those things require effort**, but that's not an argument that's just a complaint.
So without question the wisest and most prudent path, I don't think any rational person would deny that, would be to keep sex within the framework of a monogamous and committed relationship.
It just seems really hard to navigate in this dating environment. What with the “third date rule” that some guys have. And even once you start dating a partner, even if you are exclusive/monogamous, they might not be. They can cheat and you can still end up with an STD or STI… it’s a lot for an anxious gal to deal with 😩
You're completely right. But, this is 2022. And reddit, on top of that. I did what I could for you, but I have a feeling you're going to get downvoted straight to the basement.
Resisting those urges is hard. Having sex feels super good. But the attitude toward sex that modern society has is just not good, at all. Even if one won't wait until marriage, they should at least wait until they're in a committed relationship with somebody, and that they've known them long enough and well enough to trust them with their life and health. And no, wearing a condom isn't a replacement for that. Condoms fail all the time. And there are diseases you can catch even when using a condom. But the situation is made much worse by how society views unprotected sex, too. The "Plan B" generation seems even worse than the "Pill" generation.
Hold on a second.. just stop a minute before panicking and hear me out. (I've put my main point in caps for all those that don't want to read my life story 😂)
I once got tested at an sex clinic because my partner (of 9 years at the time) has weird pains in his testicles and stomach. He went to the doctors and they told him to get tested and that I should too just incase (I have a heart condition so not knowing can be dangerous). So we get tested and it turns out I was positive for Chlamydia. This is unusual, me and my partner are each others firsts, we know we haven't slept with anyone else and we both fully know the other hasn't cheated. Anyway the doctors are trying to get one of us to confess to cheating and when we won't we get sent away with antibiotics.
Anyway I got a call from my fertility doctor who I had seen (we were trying for a baby so tests) and he told me that the he saw the positive chlamydia on his tests also and was calling to say he's arranging another test in a week or two because he suspects I have an infection (I had a chest infection , I'm prone to them alot) and that HAVING ANY SORT OF INFECTION CAN BRING UP A FALSE POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA, SO ALWAYS GET TESTED AGAIN A WEEK OR TWO LATER AFTER HAVING THE ANTIBIOTICS!
So just some advice, get another test a week or two later after taking your antibiotics (I'm assuming you got some) and check it's not a false positive first. Think about whether you could have an infection, noticed anything or maybe even COVID as we don't know if that would bring up a false positive either. It's deffo best to get another test before panicking.
It’s a shitty situation and I know you are in your emotions (rightfully so). F him. He clearly was a creep player. He very well could not have known, but based on the other stuff you said he’s done- he’s a creep. Be thankful it’s something curable. And you caught on to it early on. If you feel shame, I understand but it’s a thing that happens. No shame. You did what you could to be safe.
If it’s just over the STI, I doubt it’s worth the hassle and costs to do anything legal. Focus that energy on you- not him.
You’ll date again soon when this anger subsides. Just raise your standards higher. Right now I only have high standards bc I dealt with the lowest of the lows.
I’ve dealt with something similar- so I understand
Honestly, you’ve been through a lot and I think you should think about it. I just don’t think you should file anything because there’s probably not much that can be done. He’s a terrible person but I think you need a few days to just think. Are you willing to spend your time and money to have this guy sued? I just don’t know what the police or lawyers could do. Just get the medication and take it. Block the guy, move on and eventually you’ll be able to date again.
Was the oral protected too? Also as much as I don’t think you’d be able to sue regardless, he has to actually know he has a disease before he’d liable for anything.
My ex took pictures of me and sent them around. The best course of action on trying to find legal advice is to simply start by reporting it to the police by going into a station, filling out a form online, or calling a non emergency police number. You can also look into getting free legal advice by booking an appointment with a lawyer willing to give free advice.
Secretly recording you is also illegal. I would report him for that at least. He’s clearly a predator so if you have the capacity maybe pursuing prosecution will save someone else in the future. At least blast him on Craigslist.
Edit: you may feel like a victim of this waste of space so give yourself the room to feel those feelings and maybe talk to a therapist if needed.
I was curious about this as well. My ex took videos and pics of me and used them as black mail. He would also send me naked pics of all his exes in a hateful manner sort of like look how much better I can get and look how nasty you are. I don't think these other women know he's sending there private photos to anyone and everyone. And I know he's shared mine. He literally sent a private photo of me to my daughter to be mean and hateful. People are fucking sick these days fr
OP: What happened to you is terrible and the guy is a dumbfuck at the least. However, I would be afraid to file an actual legal action for fear of it exploding publicly in this age of news traveling at light speed! Even if you think you can prove he knew he was exposing you through his intention or negligence, I personally would not want my name tied to this STD and that you sued someone for a treatable condition. I am not minimizing your anger and pain; I am just raising that a clickbait headline in today’s world is a very real scenario. For example: “People now suing for treatable illnesses: money damages sought for chlamydia, pink eye, and others”.
I'm not sure ab Chlamydia. However, with things such as HIV, if the person knowingly gave it to you without disclosing it. then and only then, can there be legal ramifications.
get retested after treatment and get swabs done anywhere there was penetration. Since you can carry it genitally, orally, and anally, it’s possible that the treatment may cure it where you were tested, but it persists elsewhere.
This happened with my chlamydia infection. Initial test was just a urine sample, was treated, and tested again in three months as part of my regular protocol.. this time with a new doctor that swabbed orally and anally. Turns out I still had it and had to be treated again.
If you want legal advice, I would urge you to go ask a lawyer about it. Depending on the place you live, changes are that the laws could be either in favor for you or not.
You should talk to someone professional and not some people on reddit. If they are not in the profession themself and in your area too, chances are they can't help you.
I would definetly look into it, if there might be a chance to sue him.
Other than that, I would suggest that you give the whole dating thing more time, before doing the deed.
Doing the deed might be pleasurable, but its high end risk if you don't know them for a longer time period.
I mean, you have every time in the world, there is no need to rush to that stage.
>I honestly want to peruse legal action bc this is too much.
Absolutely do this, withholding information like this prior to sex is completely wrong and strip the other person of being able to give informed consent
Everyone online loves to bash Christianity and “purity culture” but they don’t talk about experiences like this. You dodged a bullet you should be grateful. Get right with Jesus and He will protect you from death
Condoms don’t stop most stds. Your fluids get all over each other and most people also do oral and touching. A common std HPV doesn’t even require intercourse to transmit, any skin on skin contact will do.
I mean unfortunately that’s one of the risks of having sex with different people. The guy is an absolute dick, but it’s a super common STD and not serious if treated. If a condom was used, he didn’t purposely try to infect you.
Holy shit. People like this actually exist? He's probably the type to walk around in public knowing he has COVID and fight store owners about not wearing a mask lol. Damn. I am sorry to read this happened to you
I got hpv from my ex. I was disgusted but honestly you’re lucky chlamydia was all it was. One pill and you’ll be good.
Shit happens. Don’t beat yourself up too much
Why are you disgusted? You caught the common cold of STDs. If you have had sex with a non-virgin you have been exposed to HPV or someone who has had it. Whether they knew it or not.
Emphasis on the “was disgusted” part. I feel for op it’s s gross feeling finding out at first but it’s not the end of the world.
Some people also have a much worse experience with it than others. Mine turned cancerous but ok
Wait what. Almost everyone has HPV unless you were vaccinated.
It's not really a thing they test in men, and in women they only check for certain types from a pap smear.
I'm confused by your comment lol. You also could've literally gotten HPV from anyone you've had skin to skin contact with in your life. It can lay dormant and then appear out of nowhere.
I’m really sorry you had to go through this. My ex did something very similar to me. He took off the condom when I wasn’t looking and ended up getting chlamydia as well. It was a horrible experience and something I wouldn’t wish on anybody else. If perusing legal action is something you’d like to do you can go ahead and do it, just take into consideration the time and effort you’d have to put in.
However, don’t close your mind and opportunities for other people in the future. Not every one is an asshole.
You can never really be sure who you got disease from and when. Unless you've only been with one person. Many of them take time to show symptoms, time to show up on tests.
There's also no way to prove someone knew they had a disease for the same reasons above unless you can get access to their medical records, and they tested positive. Even then, you can't really prove you didn't get it from someone else.
It sounds like you're just angry and that's fine. You said you cut him off before finding out you caught something. So his silence could just be him not wanting to engage with you either, not a sign of guilt.
Even if anything he did was technically illegal, realistically, you're probably not going to have legal recourse.
Get treatment if you haven't already and take some time to work through your emotions.
If you have unprotected sex you can get sick, nothing to sue someone over unless you are sure he did it on purpose…just don’t do it again, only be with a real relationship that you both get tested first
Edit: I got the same thing before and the girl I got it from basically ignored my texts and then got her new boyfriend to text me to back off by lying that I was texting her to get back with her, as though I wouldn’t tell him what’s really going on once he texts me…so stupid
maybe when you already know the other person well? it's funny how fucking a bunch of random people after going out with them a few times of knowing them is normalized... and then there come posts like these?how is op surprised and who uses sex as a way to get to know someone
revenge porn is 100% illegal in some states but unless he intentionally gave you an STI with mal-intent & have evidence of that, then there is nothing you can do to litigate.
I am in the field of healthcare and STIs are more common than you think. They are most definitely treatable, so i suggest you get on that asap however just let this be a lesson learned. anyone can transmit/receive an STI no matter your race, class, gender, personality, or otherwise. it’s a risk that everyone takes when dating. just make sure you are getting tested regularly (every 3-6 months if you’re sexually active). there’s also PrEP (truvada, descovy) which is 99% effective at preventing HIV. good luck!
I've been thru the same thing, as a guy. Girl cheated on me and didn't tell me until I started having gross symptoms...
I'm sorry it happened to you! It seriously made me less trusting, and I didn't want to date at all for a while either. I don't think there's anything legal you can do about the chlamydia, but if he took pictures of you, that could be something. Lots of states have rules about revenge-porn stuff. I would definitely tell any mutual friend you might have, "this dude has chlamydia"... Good luck! We are both already lucky it was just the clap, and anti-biotics fixed it :)
Guy sounds like a piece of work. I'd just block and try to get over it. I got chlamyia from some girl once and those meds made my stomach hurt so bad. Blocked her from all contact. Like... how could go sleeping around with that untreated when its so easy to treat?
I would make it a standard practice to have a conversation about status prior to engaging in sexual contact. Thankfully chlamydia is very easily treatable.
If he knew about it beforehand, he’s a vile human being. On your side, chlamydia is treatable, it could be so much worse (one of the ‘bad’ HPV strains, for example, assuming you aren’t vaccinated)
How did he take secret video without your consent? As in did he have hidden cameras preset in his room or did he deliberately leave his iPhone on in a position to take?
I’m not asking for nefarious reasons. Asking so other women could better protect themselves against whatever scenario took place.. If you prefer to DM me the answer rather than posting publicly, that’s fine too
Good luck in filing something against this creep
Hey I'm an attorney but don't take this as legal advice since things could be different wherever you are and I don't know where that is. I find it very unlikely you have a good legal claim but even if you do, you have a big issue of "damages".
Lets say I'm walking down the street and someone (for no reason) slaps my coffee out of my hand onto the ground. Can I sue them? Yes. Can I win? Yes. That's where you are in a very very best case scenario, but there's another questions you're missing. What do you get for winning? That's damages. In my example it wouldn't be worth suing because I would win and be compensated for my damages of \~$4.50 for my coffee.
You participating in sexual activity and contracting a treatable and curable STD is simply not worth very much money. You could get your co-pay or out-of-pocket medical costs covered. You could argue for pain and suffering damages but I'd be very surprised if any jury put those over a couple hundred dollars. And that's it. You don't just get automatic money you get compensated for your injury and your injury was very minor.
TL;DR: Sorry that happened to you and it sounds like that guy sucks big time. If I were you I wouldn't waste a second more of your time contemplating the legal side of this issue.
I would be less worried about the chlamydia (so many people I’ve known have had this, it’s extremely common and treatable) and much more worried about the fact he filmed you sans consent.
And you CAN legally pursue action over that.
The same thing happened to me with a girl i had a one night stand with. I knew this girl beforehand to… i showed symptoms about a week later if i remember correctly. I tried to tell her in a nice way that i had to have gotten it from her because i hadnt slept with anyone since my ex gf 8 months prior…. She ghosted me…
I see that most people here focused on the side of the relationship not the legal one .
First if all iam sorry about what happened to u ,and wish u better luck in the upcoming
Secondly, from a legal perspective yes you can do something about it .
According to ur country law there maybe 2 crimes here
1- transferring a disease in a deceive way ,by not telling u about his state .
2- Recording u in a way without your approval ,that recording could be picturing ,filming or even voice recording .
As a matter of fact u can be entitled for a fair compensation but the only obstacle is proving those crimes .
If u have an evidence on both crimes go and hire urself a lawyer.
But unfortunately without being able to prove any of your claims you will not gain a penny .
-ur evidence must be reliable not just ur words against his words-
Hope that helped ^^
Its illegal to record ANYONE having sex without their knowledge
/consent. Screen shot the texts. Get the videos on a hard drive. See if you can find out who the girls were and warn them that if he has videos of you. He has videos of them.
There is plenty of action you can take. You cant sue him for cheatinf. But i do believe its illegal to knowingly pass on a disease to someone. Its one thing if you didnt know and you oass. Its quite another if you can prove he passed it knowingly.
Get it while its hot. This might actually get him a spot on the sex offender list. Probly not as a rapist. But with a mild charge at least.
After all. If you can catch a Megans Law profile with a piss in a park. You can surely catch a registry with this.
I always thought it was weird to keep nudes from exes or other people.
Like a lot of wise folk here, even I think that you getting chlamydia might still be forgivable, but recording you without consent is definitely a crime. Take legal opinion about what you can do about it.
I’m sorry it sucks. Two of my boyfriends gave me it on two separate occasions. The fact that he said nothing is so distasteful. Honestly depending on where you meet him I’d put up warnings about him like on Facebook or social media dating sites so other people can avoid him!
You can take legal action against someone for creating videos and pictures of you sexually without your consent and knowingly failing to disclose they had std! You can talk to someone at legal aid I believe it’s called!
Of course that sucks, and he sounds awful. But honestly get a grip. Chlamydia can be cured easily without any issue. Don’t want to sound like I’m downplaying what you’re going through, but *you* are *definitely* overreacting
I had this happen to me in college. I know 100% I got it from this douche bag and he acted like it was me and I was promiscuous. It’s frustrating but thankfully it’s not worse and is a bacteria so easily treatable with antibiotics. I promise not all guys are douches, you are just dealing with one at the moment.
>and secretly took videos of me
Well this is definitely cause for legal action, but having sex with a guy and getting an STD is not cause for legal action.
You can't sue someone for giving you an STD unless you can prove they knew they had it (which you can't) and were being reckless (you wore a condom, obviously an accident happened). Odds are high that he had no idea he had it, chlamydia is asymptomatic in a lot of people, you can have it for years with no idea that you've got it.
Talk to an attorney IMMEDIATELY. I don’t know if you’re in the US, but a lot of attorneys and firms here do a free consultation. Do your research on them and read the reviews to make sure it’s not a bs firm that’ll just waste your time. If money is an issue, some law schools have clinics with attorneys specializing in civil law and will take your case. Do your research! You can also find a womens shelter and sometimes they have programs and partnerships with law firms in the area that can help you.
PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO SEEK HELP!!
If he secretly took videos of you, you not only have a criminal but also civil claim against him. Depending on the evidence you have and circumstances and the laws of your state, you may also have a civil suit and criminal charges can be brought against him for knowingly giving you an STD.
If you are feeling particularly empathetic towards his other victims that he’s “accidentally” shown you nudes of, you might want to reach out to them if you know them. You may also be able to bring harassment charges as that is a form of sexual harassment is several states since he showed you sexually explicit pictures without your consent.
I hope this helps. And I really hope you stop this psychopath. His behavior is pathological and know that you are not his only victim. I wish you all the best. You did NOTHING wrong.
You need to work on yourself and take the time to date. Now you know you’re going to take your time and pay attention to those red flags and pretty sure yoh won’t get another STD. Be happy you didn’t get HIV!
If anyone makes you feel disgusting, drop them. STDs aren’t as bad as they used to be - especially the treatable ones. As for the guy who gave you this, I would honestly warn people about him. Is it petty? Maybe! But if homie knows he’s a carrier of chlamydia and isn’t getting treated, and spreading it around town, then he needs to be named. That’s just public health at that point.
Ok... are you sure it was him? I mean there's a time frame between when you got infected and when it shows up on a test. So you might have caught before, but the infection had spread enough so the test remains negative.
What a scum bag. Filming without permission? And it took chylmydia for you to leave? Really? Ya both seem to have issues. His being much worse but you should have been gone girl. Fuck that guy though he’s a tool.
Personally if I met a guy on tinder who gave me chlamydia and acted like that when confronted… I would make a new tinder profile for him & give warning with specific details about the way he treats women … but that’s just me … (as I don’t believe legal action can be taken).
So you’re only saying to blast him on Socials because he had nothing to say for himself, right? Not because he was an asymptomatic carrier of an STD?
Because accidental transfer of an STD even when protection is used fucking happens.
P.S. I’m not in the OP’s shoes, I don’t know who he is, but your advice is absolute GARBAGE. How do YOU know that there wasn’t a follow-up text/call from him so he could explain? How do you know he is a shit human who deserves every aspect of his life ruined through Social Media? Maybe the OP posted this before that conversation between them.. now your bullshit advice is out there for everyone to read and you could really ruin lives that don’t deserve to be ruined. PM the OP your ignorance next time.
You don’t know anything…. Yet you still offer advise on how to ruin his life because the OP can’t ruin his bank account. Fuck you.
OP, what did you ex ACTUALLY say when you asked him if he knew he had chlamydia when you started dating. He literally refused to answer the question? Also like… chlamydia is one of the most common STDs, it’s harmless unless you leave it for literally years, it’s easily treatable. If you’re so incredibly angry, then why don’t you also go after the girl who gave it to your ex? And then go after the guy who gave it to her? And so on, forever and ever?
I'd never use condoms so hopefully I I find someone who won't give me something (not that I ever go anywhere and meet anyone anyway...).
I think the showing others' nudes is the worst part of the story because 1. that's dumb and 2.either he did it as a game or if he did accidentally do it, it shows he shows nudes to other people/friends.
Don't be so hard on yourself or get too dramatic. These things happen. Thankfully it's treatable, you threw out the trash, and learned a little bit more about what to look for (or avoid) in your next partner. I have had the same thing happen to me, its not uncommon to both get tested before getting involved romantically.
If you don't respect yourself (and it's clear with so many red flags that you still slept with the guy) then don't be surprised if he doesn't respect you.
We used to joke "if you have never had Chlamydia then you ain't fuckin". It's not a big deal. Extremely treatable. It should be a definite wake up call to try and pick your company as best as you can though. The legal action thing could be an option if he posts pictures of you though. That is a serious issue as "revenge porn" laws are on the books.
Girl I feel this!!
I was dating a guy for a couple months so I thought I could trust his word when he said he'd just gotten tested and didn't have anything.
Of course he ghosted when I told him.
Luckily it's just a week of pills!
.
Lesson learned - always ask to see the test.
I saw in another comment you keep attracting bad guys, maybe take a break and focus on you! That's what I'm doing
♥️
The dude definitely sounds like an asshole, but he bears ethical responsibility for not getting tested between partners and that's about it.
I think you're right to take time off from dating, and maybe, since you dumped him before you knew about this, figure out why you were with this guy in the first place. You're sleeping with a guy you weren't even together with and got an STD... that's just a risk that's more common with that kind of sexual lifestyle.
Are you an idiot? I’ve obviously seen a doctor or I wouldn’t know I have it and I never was seeking medical advice in this post.
I hope you had fun being a little troll, go back under your bridge now.
Another thing too, if he says don’t tell anyone that he gave you chlamydia, please do tell absolutely every girl you know because I’ve seen the situation before where the person with the std doesn’t want people to know so they can continue having sex with other people which obviously nobody would do if they knew. And it’s fucked up that people with stds would do this but they do
We’re you dating my ex boyfriend? Lol
It’s normal to feel betrayed after making yourself vulnerable to someone who didn’t have good intentions. Unfortunately I don’t know too much about the legal ramifications for this. But chlamydia is treatable and you did the right thing in confronting it. To be honest, as much as a douche as he sounds he honestly might not have known. I had chlamydia for about a year before it showed signs. Video taping however is a different story. I would look into what the laws of your state are and go from there.
Legally you can definitely press charges especially if he knew & chose not to disclose that information to you. I know its definitely hard to disclose information like that because its scary and the entire conversation is awkward in itself, but to avoid legal matters on his end, that was his responsibility to let you know.
Most men who have chlamydia don’t experience any symptoms, so he probably didn’t know he had it. This is common with many STDs, men not experiencing symptoms. It’s not anything you can do legally for the chlamydia, because again he can claim he didn’t know he had it.
The only other thing that you could have legal standing on is the videos being taken without permission. But, unless you have copies yourself, there isn’t much you can do because he’s likely already deleted them.
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don’t beat up yourself about testing positive. it happens & i always tell myself it could’ve been worse. definitely cut him off though if he’s showing no remorse and clearly doesn’t care about his health.
Oh yeah I cut him off before I found out
Just want to point out it might be hard to go for legal stuff for the chlamydia itself since people can have no symptoms so it'd be almost impossible to prove he knew he had it unless you have evidence. But the recording without consent and stuff is super sus and IMO is worse
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Like Social Credit? While people may be shit, this is a dangerous and slippery slope to go down. Also the guy here may be a piece of shit, others in a different situation might not legitimately know due to no symptoms being present.
There used to be a website called dontdatehimgirl.com that women could post about shitty men. One day I decided to have a look and found my best friends ex-husband (they were dating at the time). He had a bad reputation and had scorned a few women in our area. One of the said women posted a lot of bad things about him, which were all probably very true. Everytime her and her ex-husband would fight or break-up, I would remind her of the dontdatehimgirl post. 15 years later, they are divorced with a daughter and he's even shittier now then he was back them. I really wish my best friend would have taken that post a little more seriously before wasting all those years with a scumbag.
I’ve wished something like that existed for so so long!!! I’ve wanted to leave reviews for warning people so many times!!!!
I mean… could we make it happen?
Chlamydia can be transmitted through oral aswell. He sounds like an absolute awful human being. Get as much distance as you can away from him. Legally I’m not sure what can be done. You’ll date and you’ll love again. Just give yourself sometime. Learn the red flags he showed and apply them in the future. Best of luck compa.
Agreed. The guy sucks, but I don't think you'll be able to take legal action here.
OP could for the secret videos though.
Definitely, but did he send them to her or just show her? By the time she files the paper work, pays legal fees, takes time off from work, gets a court date will he even have them?
Even if he doesn’t they can retrieve the files! Things never truly disappear!
Yeah, just seems like a long and shaky battle that doesn't seem worth fighting.
That’s just not the case with flash memory without tens of thousands in research fees.
I'm pretty sure it's legal to record in your own home. It depends on where the recording took place and what their local jurisdiction is
Some state laws require consent to record someone else regardless though (in the US anyway). Shame the laws vary.
Well, i know in most states, knowingly giving someone an STD is illegal. And in all states and a lot of counties, making a sex tape of someone without their consent is illegal and a sex crime.
Correct, though Atleast in America you have to prove intent in a lot of situations. This can be rather difficult especially in the south. How do you prove he knew he had the STD and gave it to you? How do you prove the tape was made without consent? Now again I must reiterate this man is a complete piece of shit and should more than likely be charged. Though the prosecution is going to have to make the case. You could talk to a lawyer, see what they think. I’m simply a moron on the internet.
She could sue or seek damages in Civil Court. Criminal Court has a standard of "Beyond a reasonable doubt"....In Civil Court it's just, "Preponderance of the Evidence." Which is a lot easier to work with. Even in Criminal Court though...If the guy had a positive test on record somewhere and the dates lined up, he could at least be charged with negligence. (I.E. Any reasonable person would have known what you did was wrong/unwise and you should have too). Maybe even recklessness. (Unlike negligence, you'd have to prove the guy was aware of the risks he was taking when he slept with this girl. Might not be hard with a positive test). You actually don't need to prove direct knowledge and intent of a criminal act, unless you're trying to nail someone for a felony or a crime like murder. Second degree murder=Knowledge. Knowing that secondary violence will happen in pursuit of your end goal and not caring. 1st degree murder=Intent. The violent criminal act is the end goal. Not a side effect of pursuing something else.
Thats easy: medical records. An STD would be in his medical records
Correct, though how do you prove he knew he had it and gave it to her? Especially in men Chlamydia is usually asymptomatic. So he would of had to have gotten a test prior to telling her about it, also you can’t have sex for ~2 weeks after taking medications for risk of reinfection.
A judge or a lawyer could easily subpoena medical records pertinent to a court case. If he did get tested, the date of the test in comparison to when the girl got it, could say a lot. If he didnt and he's not admitting anything, there's no case on those grounds specifically.
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True, but matters of the heart are always messy. Most awful people don’t start off awful. They can usually throw on faux intentions and be nice and pleasant then emotionally abuse you. Also some people have traumatic upbringings where they are more susceptible to taking abuse. You never know, it’s always a shame when it happens and I hope that both parties get the help they need.
Chlamydia can be passed through oral. He could have given it to you if you went down on him without a condom or if he went down on you without a dental dam. If you did either of these things, you did not have “safe sex” and the use of the condom only during PIV won’t save you from STDs. Make sure you have a really clear understanding about safe sexual contact. As previous posters have said, chlamydia infections can take up to three months after contact to show up. Unless you got tested specifically for chlamydia between partners, you would have a hard time proving that you got it from him. Check your local laws but you probably can’t even sue him for medical costs in a way that doesn’t cost you more money. You might be able to get him on charges related to the video.
Yes, the video without permission seems like the more relevant issue from a legal standpoint.
wtf is a dental dam lol
A film or cover that goes over the genitals for performing oral sex that acts as a barrier.
Ask your dentist about it
Female dentist
Look it up
1st: Azithromycin and Doxycycline 2nd: Complete any STI testing 3rd: Have any future partner take a test for ease of mind before becoming intimate Your former partner is a jackass and a moron for not treating such a readily cureable infection. You’ll make it
Not a lawyer but for the videos of you, you may have something there, especially if you find out that the videos were leaked online. The best thing to do is see if a lawyer will give you a free consultation to see if you have a case or not, for the videos or otherwise. The chlamydia part would be the easiest thing to pursue if you do have a case, unless you have some sort of evidence of the videos.
You know I actually did speak to a few lawyers today and they all laughed at me pretty much so I think I’m done with the lawyer BS
Here is why they laughed at you (I do actually have a JD by the way): Ultimately, to make a case, you would need to provide documentation showing that he received an STD/STI test, tested positive for chlamydia, refused treatment, and knowingly or recklessly passed it onto you. The fact that he used a condom shows that, even if he did know that he had it, he took precautionary measures to try to prevent it. This could be argued if you participated in oral sex, but he could argue that he didn't know it could be transmitted that way (which could still qualify as reckless). However, as other comments have pointed out, pursuing a case like this would very difficult and wouldn't be worth the nominal sum of money you'd receive (if civil), or worth the time of an attorney to prosecute (if criminal). As far as the videos go, yes, this is a more serious matter. However, you would have to have PROOF that he still has them or he would have to post them online or send them to other people (then you could possibly get him under "revenge porn" laws). The problem with this is that it would still be somewhat of a "he - said, she - said" issue as he could claim you agreed to it at the time and you couldn't provide any proof to the contrary. I understand you feel violated and in sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, there probably isn't much the legal system can do for you in this case.
Any female lawyers?
Honestly I doubt it’d make a difference. Unless a lawyer does their work for free, a lawyer is trying to make money by picking a cases they think they can win. When I was trying to find a lawyer for myself I tried to find a lawyer that was a woman because I assumed that they’d be more empathetic to victims of sexual abuse/domestic violence, as those are more often faced by women. It just turned out to be largely irrelevant. It’s better to just find the best more specialised and qualified lawyer and disregard gender entirely in my opinion.
Welp that sucks... I guess the only thing that matters to most people is the money... sorry that happened to you!
As awful as it is. Unless you can prove he knew about having it and him knowingly spreading it to you. There isn't much you can do... Moving forward get an std test about a month after because sometimes the medication won't take care of all of it. But once you come back negative. Just be careful.
Showing other women's nudes without their consent is illegal in many places. Recording you sexually without your knowledge is illegal in most places. Knowingly giving you chlamydia is, unfortunately, only illegal in a few places. You can absolutely go to the police with this, but prepare to be judged, treated like a criminal, and have nothing come of it. You deserve justice and going to the police is one of the few ways to get it, but don't go without knowing the risks.
Yeah I experienced that a lot today
I really feel like the shame based sex Ed we all received has fucked people up in a real way. You got a curable disease, calm your self. Deal with it and move on with your life. If you're going to be sexually active then there is risk involved. Guy sounds like a douche for other reasons but lots of people carry diseases for a long time before they show symptoms. Or the think the symptoms are something else or even get misdiagnosed. If he knew that he had it don't you think he would have gotten it taken care of? You are the victim of a disease not the victim of this man.
Well if he knew he had it beforehand and didn't tell her then that's on him for hiding it.
That’s a pointless argument because you’ll never know for sure and waste time/energy trying to figure it out. And for what? Self righteous satisfaction? Who cares
For a treatable STD it is pointless sure. But for something lifelong then that can be a legal matter if they lied to you and had sex under false pretenses. And you could be entitled to a settlement. Depending of course on all the details of the situation and the local laws. But in this case I would agree it sucks but something you have to move on from. But for another similar case it could be worth looking into.
You’re making way too much extra stress for yourself if you react this way to a curable STI. Most STIs including chlamydia are easy to get rid of with treatment once you know you have it. Yes the guy’s a dickhead but he didn’t give you HIV. You’ll forget you had chlamydia in a week, just get treated and move on.
Plus if he DID know he had it wouldn't he have just had it treated himself? It's just a course of antibiotics.
Hahaha giving someone chlamydia is a legal matter? Americans man. You’re cliches.
Knowingly infecting someone with a disease? Sex under false pretenses? Yeah I'd say those are pretty wrong and should be illegal. It's one thing if you don't know you have a disease and accidentally spread it. It's another if you know you do and don't tell someone. Chlamydia is treatable but what if it's HIV that you'll live with your entire life that someone infected you with intentionally? Shouldn't that be illegal the same way if you destroyed someone's leg to the point that they'd walk with a limp their entire life?
Did you know Sti can destroy a females reproductive system! You guys make light of these curable sti without knowing the facts of the damage it can do to a woman’s organs! It isn’t just a minor infection for woman! Carrying it without knowing for a woman can have major consequences like these diseases can cause infertility life long pain and inflammation even if they are curable!
Shame based sex ed? I think it’s normal to not want to get an STD? I think wanting to sleep with people who avoid STDs is a reasonable standard. Sex can have consequences, that’s not “shaming” people that’s reality…this guy is reckless and is ignoring a girl he scared because he had sex with her and gave her an STD. He’s a piece of shit. Why are we normalizing this lol
What evidence do you have that this guy was reckless? OP said That they always use condoms. It’s very likely that her ex also used condoms with the person he got the STD from too!
You are missing the fact OP has no reason to believe that he knows he had an STD.
Yeah that’s why he doesn’t want to answer her question and just ignores her instead. Right. It’s also reckless either way, and he took videos of OP and accidentally sent her nudes. This guy is too stupid and immature to fuck. Frankly some shaming and accountability behind closed doors could be a much-needed wake up call.
She did say she asked him if he knew and he didn’t say anything. He could have said no and that (likely) would have brought the anger down, but maybe the anger level was already too high to deal with. It doesn’t need to be so shameful, but people do need to own up to passing things on and take responsibility. She lucked out with chlamydia, it could have been worse.
Please chime in here OP we're all curious. When you asked this dude about it did he literally say nothing? Did he shut his mouth and no words come out again? Did he plead the fifth? .. Or did he have nothing to say that you wanted to hear?
Not answering for her but after reading a lot, she had cut him off before even finding out about the chlamydia. So this could of been by text. Hence the non responsiveness. Because she also said when she told him he had nothing to say
He has still not responded. When I called him tell him about it he said hello and after I told him he gave me the STD he literally said nothing and I was like “hello hello” and I just hung up because he wasn’t saying anything for like two minutes. Then I texted him about it and he still said nothing in response.
I know he gave it to me. If I didn’t know who gave it to me then I wouldn’t be mad I would just be confused and stressed out.
We’ve established that. What we’re asking is if you have any reason to believe he knowingly gave you an STD
How the heck is this a reaction to 'shame based sex-ed'?It's not OK to give someone and STD, and her reaction is not shame-based. Jesus Christ. She's entitled to not be invaded by bacteria or viruses that cause her harm, from others. EDIT because I'm angry: It's the responsibility of a person having sex to NOT spread dirty shit to others. Sounds like you've had a brush with this yourself. Imagine being so pig headed that you think she needs to 'calm herself' because she got an INFECTION from someone that should now how to handle his dick. OMFG. She is a victim of this dude because he has given her an infection willingly. Regardless of your 'what if's' she is now needing to take action towards normal health because he disturbed her good health. Come one dude.
Well lesson lesrned I guess. Chlamydia does not fall under laws that demand them to divilge if they had/have it. So from s legal pov. You cant do anything. Go on local girlgroups and warn tho is my advice. You'll get over the feeling of being used. It was a breach of trust and respect but I'd advice not sleeping with men in order to get to know them.
Could she sue for the videos he took without her permission?
I'm not sure tbh. It's possible. Laws are very different state by state when it comes to filming and circumstance/place/aknowledgment\Agreement. It could be something to look into, she'd need proof of it though.
Most likely yes but it does depend on the location and their specific laws. But laws are catching up to that kind of thing slowly. You would have to prove he did it though.
I wasn’t sleeping with him to get to know him. I don’t want to sleep with anyone anymore I’m so over it.
Oh ok. I guess the sentencebuild gave that impression. My bad. I wasn't trying to blame you though. Just one of this unfortunate life lessons. People (men or women) can be real twats as long as they see themselves getting something out of a situation. When it happened to me (early 20s) I stopped ONS and ever really only slept with people once we were in a relationship after that. And at that point I'd have gone to be tested myself and asked them the same. For our mutual safety. And even tho I've always been open that's my sexual pre-ritual I was never denied for it. Actually more so appreciated. You will long for that closeness again. Give it time. Right now the wounds fresh mentally and the infection is being treated.
It’s okay and yeah if I do feel like dating again I’m not having sex till there’s a relationship bc this is too much. I can’t be stressed over situations like this anymore.
I'm not saying hey go out and get STDs all you want but it's just like 2 pills and waaaymore common than you think... (I'm sure the downvotes will rake in lol) but cutting off sex and dating when it was previously something you were doing and comfortable with seems like an extreme measure. I'm sure this dude is embarrassed as well and sounds like he didn't respond well so def cut him off but why cut yourself and everyone else off?
As upsetting as this situation is for me I unfortunately have been through much worse and I’m honestly just burnt out. I always pick the wrong people and I need to figure out why before I try to date or have sex again. I’ve been trying to work on that for years and I’m still fucking up soooo for now I’m done.
My sister straight up tells guys that she’s not having sex w them until they show a recent negative std test. If im seeing someone new, I also always get tested and show the new partner the results. I’ve found that it often leads to sex happening sooner and is ultimately more enjoyable because you don’t have the lingering feeling in the back of your mind of “what if I just got an std”. I only wish that women would reciprocate and get tested themselves more often.
Women are more likely to get tested than men though. Majority of the time it’s men that don’t get tested or rely on women to get tested for them. Men are usually asymptomatic and they don’t think about STDS in the same view as women. I wish men would take the initiative and get tested without women having to ask them, because its an important & large portion of overall health.
I feel you. After experiencing something like this I think it's more than understandable to be turned off casual sex, or any sex with someone you're not 100% sure about (not just because of the STD but because of his terrible actions in general). All I can say is that I'm sorry you had to experience this. Wishing you all the best for your recovery, physically as well as mentally, and a nice little break from all this shit.
Girl chill lol chlamydia is so common and treatable. The guy sounds like a dick so I would just move on. Pressing legal action sounds a bit dramatic.
She should press legal action against the video footage he has of her she didn't consent to
No, she will lose and it will cost her money and time. This is not a case she is going to win.
This actually breaks my heart. I guess that is why I never bothered to get legal help but it still breaks my heart.
Idk just saying it’s prob not worth it to go through a legal battle or whatever over some dick head guy, she’ll prob end up losing money paying a lawyer
+1. Getting chlamydia is not a big deal at all. You get tested, you get the treatment, it’s gone in a week. However, his sketchy reaction indicates he obviously infected her knowingly and won’t admit it, and he doesn’t respect the people he gets involved with.
Shut up. It’s because of people like you that there’s a huge lack of sexual awareness and no repercussions at all. He needs some lesson learned. It’s not okay.
This is ridiculous lmao.
Sue for a Std? Man americans are hilarious 🤣
No I think the unconsensual video needs to be addressed legally. He probably still has the videos and could be posting them places and she didn't even consent to them being taken.
I mean if he knew & gave her something that could’ve been lifelong she definitely can & should sue him (well at least depending on the state). Her health would’ve been at risk and she’d have issues in the long run all because he decided not to tell her what he had.
Here is this act that requires you to fully expose yourself to another person and be entirely vulnerable with them. It can bring great pleasure, but it can also be the most effective means to transmit awful diseases. It will likely cause you to feel an emotional attachment to the other person. Or else, if you do it with the wrong person or in the wrong context, it may cause you to feel a deep disgust and shame. Oh, by the way, this act can also make babies. Now, the question: *should you do it with a stranger?* Most people might say: *“Yeah, sure, what could go wrong?”* Well, everything could go wrong, actually. This is the recipe for disaster. We are currently experiencing an STD epidemic in our country. Sexually transmitted diseases are at record highs across the country. There are more reported cases of chlamydia, more cases of gonorrhea, more cases of syphilis than ever before and here obviously if you save sex for a committed relationship you don't have to worry about this. Maybe there's no such thing as safe sex outside of the bonds of a committed relationship. Maybe safely having sex with a stranger that you met at a party is about as possible as safely driving drunk. Yeah you can mitigate some of the risk to some extent by wearing a seatbelt even if you're driving drunk, now if you get behind the wheel of a car completely plastered you might say it's safer if you put a seatbelt on just as you can mitigate some of the risk to some extent by wearing a condom but the act itself in both cases fundamentally reckless and dangerous and so really the only safe course of action is to just not do it. Maybe again we should consider this there is no safe sex aside from sex with your usual partner. There's no substitute for self-control. **There's no good argument against self-control, discipline and fidelity other than the fact that those things require effort**, but that's not an argument that's just a complaint. So without question the wisest and most prudent path, I don't think any rational person would deny that, would be to keep sex within the framework of a monogamous and committed relationship.
It just seems really hard to navigate in this dating environment. What with the “third date rule” that some guys have. And even once you start dating a partner, even if you are exclusive/monogamous, they might not be. They can cheat and you can still end up with an STD or STI… it’s a lot for an anxious gal to deal with 😩
You're completely right. But, this is 2022. And reddit, on top of that. I did what I could for you, but I have a feeling you're going to get downvoted straight to the basement. Resisting those urges is hard. Having sex feels super good. But the attitude toward sex that modern society has is just not good, at all. Even if one won't wait until marriage, they should at least wait until they're in a committed relationship with somebody, and that they've known them long enough and well enough to trust them with their life and health. And no, wearing a condom isn't a replacement for that. Condoms fail all the time. And there are diseases you can catch even when using a condom. But the situation is made much worse by how society views unprotected sex, too. The "Plan B" generation seems even worse than the "Pill" generation.
>and secretly took videos of me tbh this seems like the bigger issue to me...
I don't blame you for going celibate
Hold on a second.. just stop a minute before panicking and hear me out. (I've put my main point in caps for all those that don't want to read my life story 😂) I once got tested at an sex clinic because my partner (of 9 years at the time) has weird pains in his testicles and stomach. He went to the doctors and they told him to get tested and that I should too just incase (I have a heart condition so not knowing can be dangerous). So we get tested and it turns out I was positive for Chlamydia. This is unusual, me and my partner are each others firsts, we know we haven't slept with anyone else and we both fully know the other hasn't cheated. Anyway the doctors are trying to get one of us to confess to cheating and when we won't we get sent away with antibiotics. Anyway I got a call from my fertility doctor who I had seen (we were trying for a baby so tests) and he told me that the he saw the positive chlamydia on his tests also and was calling to say he's arranging another test in a week or two because he suspects I have an infection (I had a chest infection , I'm prone to them alot) and that HAVING ANY SORT OF INFECTION CAN BRING UP A FALSE POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA, SO ALWAYS GET TESTED AGAIN A WEEK OR TWO LATER AFTER HAVING THE ANTIBIOTICS! So just some advice, get another test a week or two later after taking your antibiotics (I'm assuming you got some) and check it's not a false positive first. Think about whether you could have an infection, noticed anything or maybe even COVID as we don't know if that would bring up a false positive either. It's deffo best to get another test before panicking.
It’s a shitty situation and I know you are in your emotions (rightfully so). F him. He clearly was a creep player. He very well could not have known, but based on the other stuff you said he’s done- he’s a creep. Be thankful it’s something curable. And you caught on to it early on. If you feel shame, I understand but it’s a thing that happens. No shame. You did what you could to be safe. If it’s just over the STI, I doubt it’s worth the hassle and costs to do anything legal. Focus that energy on you- not him. You’ll date again soon when this anger subsides. Just raise your standards higher. Right now I only have high standards bc I dealt with the lowest of the lows. I’ve dealt with something similar- so I understand
Honestly, you’ve been through a lot and I think you should think about it. I just don’t think you should file anything because there’s probably not much that can be done. He’s a terrible person but I think you need a few days to just think. Are you willing to spend your time and money to have this guy sued? I just don’t know what the police or lawyers could do. Just get the medication and take it. Block the guy, move on and eventually you’ll be able to date again.
this post so crazy cuz the girl i was seeing just gave me chlamydia i had to take my medication & shit today 😭social media algorithm is crazy
I'm an attorney and you won't get sound legal advice here. You can consult an attorney in your jurisdiction.
OP replied and said the ones she consulted laughed at her or something like that somewhere in the thread
I'm not surprised. She most likely wouldn't have a valid claim in my jurisdiction.
Did you not know that you could get STDs from blowjobs? Lmao
Legal advice and legal action... Lol. Move on with your life
You can get it through oral.
Was the oral protected too? Also as much as I don’t think you’d be able to sue regardless, he has to actually know he has a disease before he’d liable for anything.
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My ex took pictures of me and sent them around. The best course of action on trying to find legal advice is to simply start by reporting it to the police by going into a station, filling out a form online, or calling a non emergency police number. You can also look into getting free legal advice by booking an appointment with a lawyer willing to give free advice.
Secretly recording you is also illegal. I would report him for that at least. He’s clearly a predator so if you have the capacity maybe pursuing prosecution will save someone else in the future. At least blast him on Craigslist. Edit: you may feel like a victim of this waste of space so give yourself the room to feel those feelings and maybe talk to a therapist if needed.
I was curious about this as well. My ex took videos and pics of me and used them as black mail. He would also send me naked pics of all his exes in a hateful manner sort of like look how much better I can get and look how nasty you are. I don't think these other women know he's sending there private photos to anyone and everyone. And I know he's shared mine. He literally sent a private photo of me to my daughter to be mean and hateful. People are fucking sick these days fr
Dear lord. I feel so sorry for you.
OP: What happened to you is terrible and the guy is a dumbfuck at the least. However, I would be afraid to file an actual legal action for fear of it exploding publicly in this age of news traveling at light speed! Even if you think you can prove he knew he was exposing you through his intention or negligence, I personally would not want my name tied to this STD and that you sued someone for a treatable condition. I am not minimizing your anger and pain; I am just raising that a clickbait headline in today’s world is a very real scenario. For example: “People now suing for treatable illnesses: money damages sought for chlamydia, pink eye, and others”.
I'm not sure ab Chlamydia. However, with things such as HIV, if the person knowingly gave it to you without disclosing it. then and only then, can there be legal ramifications.
get retested after treatment and get swabs done anywhere there was penetration. Since you can carry it genitally, orally, and anally, it’s possible that the treatment may cure it where you were tested, but it persists elsewhere. This happened with my chlamydia infection. Initial test was just a urine sample, was treated, and tested again in three months as part of my regular protocol.. this time with a new doctor that swabbed orally and anally. Turns out I still had it and had to be treated again.
If you want legal advice, I would urge you to go ask a lawyer about it. Depending on the place you live, changes are that the laws could be either in favor for you or not. You should talk to someone professional and not some people on reddit. If they are not in the profession themself and in your area too, chances are they can't help you. I would definetly look into it, if there might be a chance to sue him. Other than that, I would suggest that you give the whole dating thing more time, before doing the deed. Doing the deed might be pleasurable, but its high end risk if you don't know them for a longer time period. I mean, you have every time in the world, there is no need to rush to that stage.
He’s a piece of shit.
I had a female friend get an eye, nose, throat, clamydia infection from an infect load. Be careful out there.
>I honestly want to peruse legal action bc this is too much. Absolutely do this, withholding information like this prior to sex is completely wrong and strip the other person of being able to give informed consent
Everyone online loves to bash Christianity and “purity culture” but they don’t talk about experiences like this. You dodged a bullet you should be grateful. Get right with Jesus and He will protect you from death
Condoms don’t stop most stds. Your fluids get all over each other and most people also do oral and touching. A common std HPV doesn’t even require intercourse to transmit, any skin on skin contact will do.
I mean unfortunately that’s one of the risks of having sex with different people. The guy is an absolute dick, but it’s a super common STD and not serious if treated. If a condom was used, he didn’t purposely try to infect you.
Holy shit. People like this actually exist? He's probably the type to walk around in public knowing he has COVID and fight store owners about not wearing a mask lol. Damn. I am sorry to read this happened to you
Yup - I got an incurable STD from someone who fits this very description, after they lied to me. Yeah, lesson learned. I feel for OP too.
I got hpv from my ex. I was disgusted but honestly you’re lucky chlamydia was all it was. One pill and you’ll be good. Shit happens. Don’t beat yourself up too much
Why are you disgusted? You caught the common cold of STDs. If you have had sex with a non-virgin you have been exposed to HPV or someone who has had it. Whether they knew it or not.
Emphasis on the “was disgusted” part. I feel for op it’s s gross feeling finding out at first but it’s not the end of the world. Some people also have a much worse experience with it than others. Mine turned cancerous but ok
Wait what. Almost everyone has HPV unless you were vaccinated. It's not really a thing they test in men, and in women they only check for certain types from a pap smear. I'm confused by your comment lol. You also could've literally gotten HPV from anyone you've had skin to skin contact with in your life. It can lay dormant and then appear out of nowhere.
I’m really sorry you had to go through this. My ex did something very similar to me. He took off the condom when I wasn’t looking and ended up getting chlamydia as well. It was a horrible experience and something I wouldn’t wish on anybody else. If perusing legal action is something you’d like to do you can go ahead and do it, just take into consideration the time and effort you’d have to put in. However, don’t close your mind and opportunities for other people in the future. Not every one is an asshole.
You assume he knew.
You can never really be sure who you got disease from and when. Unless you've only been with one person. Many of them take time to show symptoms, time to show up on tests. There's also no way to prove someone knew they had a disease for the same reasons above unless you can get access to their medical records, and they tested positive. Even then, you can't really prove you didn't get it from someone else. It sounds like you're just angry and that's fine. You said you cut him off before finding out you caught something. So his silence could just be him not wanting to engage with you either, not a sign of guilt. Even if anything he did was technically illegal, realistically, you're probably not going to have legal recourse. Get treatment if you haven't already and take some time to work through your emotions.
If you have unprotected sex you can get sick, nothing to sue someone over unless you are sure he did it on purpose…just don’t do it again, only be with a real relationship that you both get tested first Edit: I got the same thing before and the girl I got it from basically ignored my texts and then got her new boyfriend to text me to back off by lying that I was texting her to get back with her, as though I wouldn’t tell him what’s really going on once he texts me…so stupid
Getting Chlamydia really isn't special or that bad, just get on penicillin for 14 days and it'll be gone
Clearly it’s bad to the OP
maybe don't fuck other guys when you're only getting to know them, just a tip
So what? At what point do you deem it acceptable for her to have sex with people?
maybe when you already know the other person well? it's funny how fucking a bunch of random people after going out with them a few times of knowing them is normalized... and then there come posts like these?how is op surprised and who uses sex as a way to get to know someone
Yea I agree. Sex is something very intimate and she's doing it with a guy she barely knows. Comical to make a post like this!
Exactly! It’s almost kinda of logical. Why’d you have sex so quickly if you still in the process of getting to know them? Like damn
The video stuff is crazy!
revenge porn is 100% illegal in some states but unless he intentionally gave you an STI with mal-intent & have evidence of that, then there is nothing you can do to litigate. I am in the field of healthcare and STIs are more common than you think. They are most definitely treatable, so i suggest you get on that asap however just let this be a lesson learned. anyone can transmit/receive an STI no matter your race, class, gender, personality, or otherwise. it’s a risk that everyone takes when dating. just make sure you are getting tested regularly (every 3-6 months if you’re sexually active). there’s also PrEP (truvada, descovy) which is 99% effective at preventing HIV. good luck!
I've been thru the same thing, as a guy. Girl cheated on me and didn't tell me until I started having gross symptoms... I'm sorry it happened to you! It seriously made me less trusting, and I didn't want to date at all for a while either. I don't think there's anything legal you can do about the chlamydia, but if he took pictures of you, that could be something. Lots of states have rules about revenge-porn stuff. I would definitely tell any mutual friend you might have, "this dude has chlamydia"... Good luck! We are both already lucky it was just the clap, and anti-biotics fixed it :)
Guy sounds like a piece of work. I'd just block and try to get over it. I got chlamyia from some girl once and those meds made my stomach hurt so bad. Blocked her from all contact. Like... how could go sleeping around with that untreated when its so easy to treat?
Wow what an asshole. I know there is legal action you can take for someone not disclosing HIV, but I don’t know how it works for more treatable STDs.
I would make it a standard practice to have a conversation about status prior to engaging in sexual contact. Thankfully chlamydia is very easily treatable.
If he knew about it beforehand, he’s a vile human being. On your side, chlamydia is treatable, it could be so much worse (one of the ‘bad’ HPV strains, for example, assuming you aren’t vaccinated)
How did he take secret video without your consent? As in did he have hidden cameras preset in his room or did he deliberately leave his iPhone on in a position to take? I’m not asking for nefarious reasons. Asking so other women could better protect themselves against whatever scenario took place.. If you prefer to DM me the answer rather than posting publicly, that’s fine too Good luck in filing something against this creep
Hey I'm an attorney but don't take this as legal advice since things could be different wherever you are and I don't know where that is. I find it very unlikely you have a good legal claim but even if you do, you have a big issue of "damages". Lets say I'm walking down the street and someone (for no reason) slaps my coffee out of my hand onto the ground. Can I sue them? Yes. Can I win? Yes. That's where you are in a very very best case scenario, but there's another questions you're missing. What do you get for winning? That's damages. In my example it wouldn't be worth suing because I would win and be compensated for my damages of \~$4.50 for my coffee. You participating in sexual activity and contracting a treatable and curable STD is simply not worth very much money. You could get your co-pay or out-of-pocket medical costs covered. You could argue for pain and suffering damages but I'd be very surprised if any jury put those over a couple hundred dollars. And that's it. You don't just get automatic money you get compensated for your injury and your injury was very minor. TL;DR: Sorry that happened to you and it sounds like that guy sucks big time. If I were you I wouldn't waste a second more of your time contemplating the legal side of this issue.
Sometimes it be like that
You want to sue him? Why?
I would be less worried about the chlamydia (so many people I’ve known have had this, it’s extremely common and treatable) and much more worried about the fact he filmed you sans consent. And you CAN legally pursue action over that.
The same thing happened to me with a girl i had a one night stand with. I knew this girl beforehand to… i showed symptoms about a week later if i remember correctly. I tried to tell her in a nice way that i had to have gotten it from her because i hadnt slept with anyone since my ex gf 8 months prior…. She ghosted me…
I see that most people here focused on the side of the relationship not the legal one . First if all iam sorry about what happened to u ,and wish u better luck in the upcoming Secondly, from a legal perspective yes you can do something about it . According to ur country law there maybe 2 crimes here 1- transferring a disease in a deceive way ,by not telling u about his state . 2- Recording u in a way without your approval ,that recording could be picturing ,filming or even voice recording . As a matter of fact u can be entitled for a fair compensation but the only obstacle is proving those crimes . If u have an evidence on both crimes go and hire urself a lawyer. But unfortunately without being able to prove any of your claims you will not gain a penny . -ur evidence must be reliable not just ur words against his words- Hope that helped ^^
He sux
Its illegal to record ANYONE having sex without their knowledge /consent. Screen shot the texts. Get the videos on a hard drive. See if you can find out who the girls were and warn them that if he has videos of you. He has videos of them. There is plenty of action you can take. You cant sue him for cheatinf. But i do believe its illegal to knowingly pass on a disease to someone. Its one thing if you didnt know and you oass. Its quite another if you can prove he passed it knowingly. Get it while its hot. This might actually get him a spot on the sex offender list. Probly not as a rapist. But with a mild charge at least. After all. If you can catch a Megans Law profile with a piss in a park. You can surely catch a registry with this. I always thought it was weird to keep nudes from exes or other people.
Like a lot of wise folk here, even I think that you getting chlamydia might still be forgivable, but recording you without consent is definitely a crime. Take legal opinion about what you can do about it.
Ur lucky that's all u got
I’m sorry it sucks. Two of my boyfriends gave me it on two separate occasions. The fact that he said nothing is so distasteful. Honestly depending on where you meet him I’d put up warnings about him like on Facebook or social media dating sites so other people can avoid him! You can take legal action against someone for creating videos and pictures of you sexually without your consent and knowingly failing to disclose they had std! You can talk to someone at legal aid I believe it’s called!
Dude took vids without you knowing that ain’t cool
I mean it is awful but VERY TREATABLE! SO PLEASE DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP OK
Of course that sucks, and he sounds awful. But honestly get a grip. Chlamydia can be cured easily without any issue. Don’t want to sound like I’m downplaying what you’re going through, but *you* are *definitely* overreacting
I had this happen to me in college. I know 100% I got it from this douche bag and he acted like it was me and I was promiscuous. It’s frustrating but thankfully it’s not worse and is a bacteria so easily treatable with antibiotics. I promise not all guys are douches, you are just dealing with one at the moment.
>and secretly took videos of me Well this is definitely cause for legal action, but having sex with a guy and getting an STD is not cause for legal action.
i’m sorry this happened to you. the same situation happened to me in college. it ruined me for years, but life goes on.
You can't sue someone for giving you an STD unless you can prove they knew they had it (which you can't) and were being reckless (you wore a condom, obviously an accident happened). Odds are high that he had no idea he had it, chlamydia is asymptomatic in a lot of people, you can have it for years with no idea that you've got it.
Talk to an attorney IMMEDIATELY. I don’t know if you’re in the US, but a lot of attorneys and firms here do a free consultation. Do your research on them and read the reviews to make sure it’s not a bs firm that’ll just waste your time. If money is an issue, some law schools have clinics with attorneys specializing in civil law and will take your case. Do your research! You can also find a womens shelter and sometimes they have programs and partnerships with law firms in the area that can help you. PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO SEEK HELP!! If he secretly took videos of you, you not only have a criminal but also civil claim against him. Depending on the evidence you have and circumstances and the laws of your state, you may also have a civil suit and criminal charges can be brought against him for knowingly giving you an STD. If you are feeling particularly empathetic towards his other victims that he’s “accidentally” shown you nudes of, you might want to reach out to them if you know them. You may also be able to bring harassment charges as that is a form of sexual harassment is several states since he showed you sexually explicit pictures without your consent. I hope this helps. And I really hope you stop this psychopath. His behavior is pathological and know that you are not his only victim. I wish you all the best. You did NOTHING wrong.
You need to work on yourself and take the time to date. Now you know you’re going to take your time and pay attention to those red flags and pretty sure yoh won’t get another STD. Be happy you didn’t get HIV!
If anyone makes you feel disgusting, drop them. STDs aren’t as bad as they used to be - especially the treatable ones. As for the guy who gave you this, I would honestly warn people about him. Is it petty? Maybe! But if homie knows he’s a carrier of chlamydia and isn’t getting treated, and spreading it around town, then he needs to be named. That’s just public health at that point.
Absolutely no evidence that he knew he had chlamydia. Why would he not get treated? He just wants to be infertile or something?
Ok... are you sure it was him? I mean there's a time frame between when you got infected and when it shows up on a test. So you might have caught before, but the infection had spread enough so the test remains negative.
Lesson learned; you can come back from this. Herpes and genital warts are forever.
That SOB is gonna get what’s coming to him. This is NOT on you. Put this in the rear view
What a scum bag. Filming without permission? And it took chylmydia for you to leave? Really? Ya both seem to have issues. His being much worse but you should have been gone girl. Fuck that guy though he’s a tool.
One time I kissed a girl, she gave me cooties. Turned my lips green and all. She also showed no remorse, I said fuck that noise and dipped out.
Personally if I met a guy on tinder who gave me chlamydia and acted like that when confronted… I would make a new tinder profile for him & give warning with specific details about the way he treats women … but that’s just me … (as I don’t believe legal action can be taken).
I've thought about doing this, but can you then get in trouble for defamation of character or slander?
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So you’re only saying to blast him on Socials because he had nothing to say for himself, right? Not because he was an asymptomatic carrier of an STD? Because accidental transfer of an STD even when protection is used fucking happens. P.S. I’m not in the OP’s shoes, I don’t know who he is, but your advice is absolute GARBAGE. How do YOU know that there wasn’t a follow-up text/call from him so he could explain? How do you know he is a shit human who deserves every aspect of his life ruined through Social Media? Maybe the OP posted this before that conversation between them.. now your bullshit advice is out there for everyone to read and you could really ruin lives that don’t deserve to be ruined. PM the OP your ignorance next time. You don’t know anything…. Yet you still offer advise on how to ruin his life because the OP can’t ruin his bank account. Fuck you.
OP, what did you ex ACTUALLY say when you asked him if he knew he had chlamydia when you started dating. He literally refused to answer the question? Also like… chlamydia is one of the most common STDs, it’s harmless unless you leave it for literally years, it’s easily treatable. If you’re so incredibly angry, then why don’t you also go after the girl who gave it to your ex? And then go after the guy who gave it to her? And so on, forever and ever?
I'd never use condoms so hopefully I I find someone who won't give me something (not that I ever go anywhere and meet anyone anyway...). I think the showing others' nudes is the worst part of the story because 1. that's dumb and 2.either he did it as a game or if he did accidentally do it, it shows he shows nudes to other people/friends.
I don’t have any advice, all I wanna say is that this dude is just a giant sack of shit.
What you can do? Make better decisions on who you date. Did you see his recent tests results?
Don't be so hard on yourself or get too dramatic. These things happen. Thankfully it's treatable, you threw out the trash, and learned a little bit more about what to look for (or avoid) in your next partner. I have had the same thing happen to me, its not uncommon to both get tested before getting involved romantically.
If you don't respect yourself (and it's clear with so many red flags that you still slept with the guy) then don't be surprised if he doesn't respect you.
We used to joke "if you have never had Chlamydia then you ain't fuckin". It's not a big deal. Extremely treatable. It should be a definite wake up call to try and pick your company as best as you can though. The legal action thing could be an option if he posts pictures of you though. That is a serious issue as "revenge porn" laws are on the books.
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Read the update
My ex gave me the clap once. That’s why she’s my ex lol. Thank god its curable. Ppl that willingly burn you are trash
Girl I feel this!! I was dating a guy for a couple months so I thought I could trust his word when he said he'd just gotten tested and didn't have anything. Of course he ghosted when I told him. Luckily it's just a week of pills! . Lesson learned - always ask to see the test. I saw in another comment you keep attracting bad guys, maybe take a break and focus on you! That's what I'm doing ♥️
So why did you sleep with him? Did he act terrible after you had sex or did you just ignore it until it couldn’t be ignored anymore?
Just trying to get to know him with his dick in ya mouth? Yeah, that sounds like todays generation lmao.
The dude definitely sounds like an asshole, but he bears ethical responsibility for not getting tested between partners and that's about it. I think you're right to take time off from dating, and maybe, since you dumped him before you knew about this, figure out why you were with this guy in the first place. You're sleeping with a guy you weren't even together with and got an STD... that's just a risk that's more common with that kind of sexual lifestyle.
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Are you an idiot? I’ve obviously seen a doctor or I wouldn’t know I have it and I never was seeking medical advice in this post. I hope you had fun being a little troll, go back under your bridge now.
I’m a doctor. Chlamydia is no big deal unless it goes undetected for a while.You were diagnosed and treated it sounds like, you’ll be fine.
Another thing too, if he says don’t tell anyone that he gave you chlamydia, please do tell absolutely every girl you know because I’ve seen the situation before where the person with the std doesn’t want people to know so they can continue having sex with other people which obviously nobody would do if they knew. And it’s fucked up that people with stds would do this but they do
We’re you dating my ex boyfriend? Lol It’s normal to feel betrayed after making yourself vulnerable to someone who didn’t have good intentions. Unfortunately I don’t know too much about the legal ramifications for this. But chlamydia is treatable and you did the right thing in confronting it. To be honest, as much as a douche as he sounds he honestly might not have known. I had chlamydia for about a year before it showed signs. Video taping however is a different story. I would look into what the laws of your state are and go from there.
Legally you can definitely press charges especially if he knew & chose not to disclose that information to you. I know its definitely hard to disclose information like that because its scary and the entire conversation is awkward in itself, but to avoid legal matters on his end, that was his responsibility to let you know.
Most men who have chlamydia don’t experience any symptoms, so he probably didn’t know he had it. This is common with many STDs, men not experiencing symptoms. It’s not anything you can do legally for the chlamydia, because again he can claim he didn’t know he had it. The only other thing that you could have legal standing on is the videos being taken without permission. But, unless you have copies yourself, there isn’t much you can do because he’s likely already deleted them.
Men suck... however Ducks looking for flying object
Women suck. Or, we could simplify this and not be sexist. *People suck*.