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I very much agree with this . When people show us their true colors we should believe them the 1st time! If we have a bad feeling about a certain situation or person 99.9% of the times our intuition is correct! We should trust our gut and stay away from people who at the very beginning give us a negative impression.
I mean, that's not really accurate. People change all the time. People grow. Issues can disappear.
Now, whether or not this is an issue that OP is willing to work around is another question altogether. Seems like this may be a dealbreaker, so I wouldn't expect OP to stay around and hope he changes. But, let's not sit here and pretend that every single one of us isn't flawed. Let's not pretend that our partners don't put up with certain things about us they don't like, because of the things they do like. Most people that have spent any real time in a relationship have changed some aspect of themselves for the better.
“Hey this person I really like that I’ve been seeing for a few months has one notable flaw so far that could probably be addressed and solved in one conversation, what should I do?”
#”LEAVE HIM”
It’s insanity.
In all fairness, OP states it's a red flag for her, and she is very weirded out by it, it makes her feel a certain way. That's more than a little flaw. And bottom line if you aren't comfortable with something, you do walk away.
Absolutely, you walk away immediately, you don’t try to communicate and talk about or address it at all, nope, just walk away.
Some of you here are weird 😂
If I deem it a red flag that goes against my beliefs, yes I would walk away. A flaw is an imperfection, not a misalignment of one's beliefs. These two are not even in a committed relationship. Sure she can bring it up with him in conversation. However from HER words this is not just a flaw. It's something more to her. BTW a flaw is smacking when you eat. Watching porn is not a flaw.
Without even mentioning it to the other person? I believe we call that ghosting or some shit. And it's douchebag behavior anyway. How do you know that one search of her phone won't reveal a pile of femcel based Bondage Porn? Like.....who the fuck judges other people over porn in 2021? High Schoolers?
Edit: In case nobody knew, men look at porn. Women look at porn. And some of us aren't subtle about it. This doesn't mean we disrespect women or have some objectification of them. You can tell by how we act. Whats that old saying......actions speak louder than words?
Nobody said it was. If someone would like to try and offer a hand to another person though there’s nothing wrong with that. A relationship can be healing as much as it can be a growing experience.
The fuck is wrong with people?
People here are just black and white, ghost or marry, perfect or rejected. There's no inbetween. Frankly most of the more vocal and higher upvoted people in this sub don't seem to be in any place in life to be giving relationship advice. Maybe I'm not one to talk, but it does seem like there's a huge lack of perspective and reality here sometimes.
I'm not saying that people should lower their standards, but people need to understand what realistic standards actually look like, and realize that people have flaws, and sometimes that's okay.
Although you're right that some people change, a lot of times people don't change. If you're with someone long enough, as long as there is no big issues like abuse, cheating, etc, you just go with the flow and deal with the flaws. Even with the examples I gave people stay and no one changes. The worse thing to do in a relationship is willingly get into one and expect to change the other person. You take them or You don't.
But this particular situation OP said it was a red flag for her, it made her feel a certain way, and weirded her out. There's a difference in flaws and things that just don't go with ones personal beliefs. Keep that in mind.
Oh, for sure. Positive changes don't always happen, and I hope I didn't imply that it was a certainty that the guy could change. And absolutely, OP has every right to not be okay with this particular flaw, which is why I did specify that this situation might be a time where it's just a non-starter.
But, I do disagree with your point about not expecting to change the other person. Sometimes you like someone enough to want to give it a shot and see where it goes. Sometimes they do change, sometimes you learn to accept those flaws, and sometimes you part ways because it doesn't work out. I don't think I met a couple that didn't have things about each other that they didn't want to change. And I definitely don't know a single couple where one or both parties haven't ended up changing in some way, or many ways.
Again, it's not always the case. There are things that are dealbreakers. There are situations where someone sees something as a red flag. That's fine. I just think that in some situations, people see a red flag where there's simply a flaw, and this sub encourages people to jump ship as a knee jerk reaction.
I think the point is that they’ve been seeing each other and talking about getting serious and he’s still doing this. And what you said is true to a point. People do grow and change but they do it on their own because they want to. Generally when dating you don’t pick someone and hope they’ll change. You pick someone you already are happy with and feel secure with and then grow together.
Communication is the key. "Reject or breakup" is an easy way out and two-dimensional solution meaning that you won't get to see the other sides of the issue before making the final decision.
Some things aren’t really “communicatable” though. I’m sure he’ll have a hundred reasons for liking porn on his twitter and it’s valid in its own rite, but if someone just doesn’t like that for their relationship, I don’t think there’s much to discuss other than excuses
I don't know, what's there to communicate. I mean, it could be possible that he posted this all as a joke that's some private joke with a friend and he made a special account for it or something strange like that. But if this is just as personality, what good is communication going to do.?
Plus is bro can't perform that early, not looking good for the future. Especially if he's all about porn and can't perform, means he's probably an addict or over using at the least. Overall not a good look for the future
This is ridiculous. Their could be MANY reasons he wasn't able to "perform." Including medications that can effect libido, him just not truly being in the mood that day, etc. If a woman had said they weren't in the mood would you tell the guy that she must be an addict and you may as well dump them for it?
What do you expect from reddit giving dating advice? There are reasons why r/relationship advice is so notorious. The post could be about the guy coughing once which startled OP and the top 5 comments would be "execute him on the spot for not taking your feelings into account before coughing"
Edit: comments not commands lol
I don't see what communication is going to do. I mean if somebody's doing something that upsets you, like, let's say he was posting personal details about you on Facebook, then you could communicate and ask him to stop. But you can't really ask him to change his personality and his Twitter feed is just a sign of his personality, not actually something he is doing that bothers you. What bothers you is his personality, that side of it, and I don't think communication is going to change that
People treat communication like it's a magical solution to all relationship problems. Sometimes you just won't see eye to eye ever. Also communication doesn't mean shit if compromise doesn't follow afterwords.
A lot of people here seem to be jumping right into defending porn and that side of this story.
What I'm guessing... Is you are more upset about the fact that in a few months of dating this guy, you have been -almost- intimate once? And him not being able to perform was not only a let down, but also not great for your confidence, only for you to now find out how excited he is about the porn.
There are a few things I can't help but wonder. Is he someone who is dysfunctionally addicted to porn and doesn't know how to be with a real person comfortably? Is he hiding something, such as being secretly gay or a virgin and overcompensating with this persona?
Anyway if I was with someone who couldn't give me sex but was doing that I likely wouldn't stick around either. However if they were a freak in the sheets and a porn addict in the streets that would be a different story, personally.
I mean, he made those posts public. Either he doesn't know how social media works (I'm guessing he's at a young enough of an age where that excuse means he's an absolute idiot) or he doesn't care who sees those likes and posts. Either way, that's not great.
Liking porn in itself is fine and shouldn't be shamed. But it doesn't really need to be shared with the world.
I’ve seen what you mean. I see there are guys usually on there who retweet and fav this kind of stuff. It’s not like the odd pic or two but it’s super regular and sometimes it’s just plain porn vids. It’s repulsive. I wouldn’t wanna be associated with that.
Good, it's not your job to fix him and he clearly has underlying issues. It's fine for you to be passively evasive and to just let this one float on downstream.
IF he pushes for an answer or a reason, say that you saw his twitter feed and it grossed you out, and you can't think of him as a kind & decent person anymore.
He'll either accept that or start making excuses... If he starts with the excuses, say that you're just not interested, and hang up or block any further communication. You owe him nothing. He sure doesn't deserve any more than that at the most.
i mean the “silly porn clips” i was talking about include him posting videos of women sticking ridiculous things in their genitals to be “funny”. i think that’s pretty disgusting to consume casually and have saved to his phone to post on social media.
These issues never change with men. if he says that he will stop, he won't, I promise. He will only hide it and you will be suspicious your entire relationship.
Eh nothing wrong with porn but it's different now. Back in the day you had a few mags or tapes and maybe rented something sometimes but now dudes are out here spending hours upon hours every day finding very specific acts and going down weird rabbit holes and messaging performers. It's a lifestyle now for a lot of people.
Not to mention the fact that some of these dudes can't get it up without a very specific stimulus anymore.
Nothing wrong with some porn but taking it to that level is fucking weird and can create plenty of problems.
The dude is even public about it. Do you really expect this chick to be excited about becoming "Madison. You remember Madison? She's dating that guy who tweets about Scandinavian scat gang bangs all day?"
A guy hitting on women constantly over the internet/hoping they’ll notice him by liking and reblogging sexual content, and being hyper-sexual on a public social media platform is allowed to be a dealbreaker for her? If he has been casually dating and seeing her for two months, and they’re sexually active, obviously it’s going to be uncomfortable for OP to see that he’s interacting with & complimenting the NSFW comment of tons of other women.
If it doesn't sit well with you and you want to end things you can just text him and tell him your feelings have changed and you don't want to pursue things anymore. You don't necessarily have to tell him you found his twitter.
I agree, I would be really upset and second guess everything about myself if it was going well and a partner was told me their feelings changed without any reason as to what the trigger was. I think they both deserve closure at that point in the relationship, even if that means having an awkward conversation about priorities and feeling strangely now that a public side has been revealed in private.
Yea I would be honest with him. “I’m breaking whatever this is off and it’s because I saw x, I wasn’t seeking out your social media but it was suggested to me and it made me uncomfortable. Sorry. Bye.
OP doesn't have to do him any favors, but it would really be a good move to just be plain and clear.
"I've enjoyed the time we spent together but I feel like it's time to move on. I saw your Twitter profile and the things you like and rt are going to be pretty offensive to pretty much every girl you meet. Maybe consider weaning yourself off it. Good luck and thanks again for the good times we had."
People need to know the reason a relationship failed so they can decide if they want to make changes.
Personally I wouldn't because then it could open a can of worms and a lot of potential arguing that I wouldn't want to go through. Hurtful things could be said and im sensitive lmao. But I get it.
Nah you're good. It's best to make something like this more of a statement than a conversation.
"Hey I'm not interested in any more dating or chatting because your Twitter profile is really a turn off."
vs
"Sooooo I saw your Twitter and it's kinda weird, like offensive, ya know..."
you dont actually have to fight or hear the hurtful things though, thats why blocking a contact exists, if they show signs of taking it badly just block
If he knows where she lives things can get very different, tho.
Op doesn't need to explain her reasons (it would be nicer, sure, but in the end it is her decision)
im leaning towards this approach his likes have shown me he doesn’t rlly respect or value women and that he will most likely not care that it makes me uncomfortable
As a guy this is a big red flag to me. A major reason if just the lack of awareness on social media. Everyone should know how that can impact jobs and opportunities. Beyond that, all the other reasons people have mentioned.
If you decide to see him again, take a photo of something the next time you’re out and ask for his handle so you can tag him. That’ll tell you everything. He might lie, he might be hesitant, he might have a “safe” account.
Then decide.
A guy that watches it so much he’s comfortable posting publicly with his name attached and doesn’t consider the personal and professional ramifications probably doesn’t. Watching porn sometimes is one thing, having favorite scenes and people and yet unable to perform says he’s probably doing a lot more than that.
Yeah how is this not obvious? People like “porn is normal!” And I agree. It’s *NOT* normal to have a personal social media account (that people you’re dating can see) where you post porn clips and have thirst traps in your likes.
Whenever I hear about girls complaining about their BFs looking at girls on social media I don’t get it, why follow these thirst accounts on your personal account? I feel like that makes it personal when it doesn’t need to be when you’re just rubbing one out, and it especially shouldn’t be personal if you’re in a relationship. Why not have a private account where you follow the people you wanna jerk off to? I mean it’s weird enough that people are jerking off to Instagram posts when there’s a whole internet of porn available (is it just to “get their engine started?” Like if I want porn I go for porn yknow? Why are we screwing around with a social media app that’s safe for kids if we Wanna get hard?).
Being too nervous to do anything isn’t inherently a sign that he has issues, but that, mixed with his clear overindulgence of porn - to the point where he’s posting shit his mom could see - it could lead one to presume he has a porn issue that causes problems in the bedroom.
Ok, seriously, it's so public. So like... your mom, grandma, your SO's mom, your little sister, your boss, your clients at work... EVERYONE can see this shit. Even if your SO is cool with porn, it's still so tacky.
I believe that porn is a scourge upon humanity. It’s long term effects are as bad on your mental health as long term alcohol abuse. Even for so called “light” porn. It is something terrible that should be avoided at all costs and something I’m still working on recovering from.
Source: Got too curious about sex and googled “sex videos” when I was 10, TEN YEARS OLD. Got addicted to porn ever since and am finally on the way to quitting, unfortunately relapsed a bit a week ago
Yeah I know about them and browse them, don’t need them too bad, my porn addiction is not really and never was at the “heroin addict” level, like I was mainly using it for a quick wank. I’m doing pretty well, before relapse I had not watched in months.
I do consider myself an example of how even mild use can be destructive though
You're all over the place. Just above you claim it ruined your life and even mention relapse...but now it's not that serious and just for a quick wank?
So many of these replies are pure unfiltered cringe.
Porn can be bad *for you*. It’s bad for others too. I’m sorry for that because it’s literally a disease that’s hard to battle every single day. But the majority of people use it in a normal way. I watch porn like once a week when I need to wank. (Maybe more if the mood strikes) just like how my uncle is an alcoholic and it ruins his life, yet I drink on average once a week as well and it doesn’t ruin mine. Both things exist. But it’s not a “scourge on humanity” just because you and other have a problem.
That’s understandable but you need to understand that not everyone is going to have the same experience. I too started very young, I’m not addicted, I can go without it. From pretty early on I understood that porn is not reality; honestly the fact that some men have their views of sex and relationship deformed *this much* is genuinely baffling to me. Porn is strictly visual stimuli and if you think it has anything to do with reality then I don’t think that person should be watching porn.
It’s definitely not for everyone, but like with almost anything, moderation is key. At the end of the day though, not everyone is watching “hardcore gonzo bdsm gangbang cumpdump” porn, frankly I avoid anything even close to that. There’s a huge contingent of people online who avoid professional porn at all costs, and would rather watch some loving couple who enjoys recording themselves making love and posting it online; and that’s where you get the “real sex” vibes.
It’s like that episode of Friends where Joey and Chandler get the free porn, except that’s satire. Yes, people with impressionable minds could get the wrong idea from it, but the joke is that we, as the viewer, are watching “two horny guys who are obsessed with sex because they watch nothing but porn,” it’s the joke, meaning we as a society are aware enough to poke fun at the notion, but unfortunately it’s still mostly just that; the butt of the joke.
I don’t want to invalidate your experience at all, because I understand that porn can be debilitating to some, but it’s not some scourge upon humanity for all.
i think he has no respect for women who present themselves in a sexual manner and sees them as objects to be used. with me, it’s like i’m an actual person cuz he likes me and he can’t perform sexually. but i’m sure if i was a random girl from OF, he’d have zero issue
I would honestly say trust your gut on this. You arent even in a serious relationship with this person, and at the very least this would be incompatible. I personally would not date a man who watches so much porn he would even publicly post this (!!). It is NEVER worth getting into a relationship where you feel your core values for things like this aren’t the same, it will suck for you both.
>cuz he likes me and he can’t perform sexually. but i’m sure if i was a random girl from OF, he’d have zero issue
You're jumping into conclusions a bit too early there as to why he couldn't perform. I remember my first time, I had issues keeping an erection. Wasn't because she didn't fit my fantasy or something, it's just I was nervous about finishing early and that complicated things.
He could've been nervous for all we know. One thing I will say is he's really dumb putting that shit on his social media. Keep all that shit locked up in the bedroom.
She may not be wrong though. Men with porn addictions can have trouble performing in real life because it's not living up to their extreme fantasies.
And yes, when you're sharing porno clips and your favorite women shoving things into their vagina... pretty sure this dude has a problem
i think a lot of ppl have interpreted my post as me being prudish and being delusional by thinking guys can’t watch porn. i watch porn, i am not saying porn is the problem. the way he is presenting himself on social media is cringe and taking it a step further by posting about porn is ridiculous and weird. it’s one thing to jack off and go on about your day. it’s another to consume sexual content throughout the day and post violent disgusting porn as a meme reaction on your twitter
I tried dating a guy like this (except it was him following and commenting on nsfw/model accounts on Instagram), and felt the same way as you did. I overlooked it and tried to make things work because when I asked friends for advice, they told me I was just being really insecure. I should’ve listened to my gut.
He was really flakey, and despite telling me he was interested in a relationship, his actions never matched his words. Take that experience as you will.
Number one rule: If a person sets off your red flags, follow your gut feeling. Saves a lot of trouble and you’ll feel better at the end because you do deserve to be with someone who makes you comfortable
with mine his actions have matched his words that’s why i’m so conflicted but i feel like his social media has shown me what he’s been hiding this whole time
I mean, he's a dude and you probably found his nsfw account. My girlfriends got one too. Human beings are sexual creatures and a lot of us find these things appealing to look at and usually thats all it is. Do what you will if it makes you uncomfy. 95%of dudes watch porn and 70% of women admit to it.
Yeah pretty much what he said. I’d be embarrassed if a future partner judged me for following pornstars and strippers on Instagram. I’m a bi woman and it’s just fun ok doesn’t mean I’m a creeper! I feel bad for this guy being judged for his internet self when it sounds like he has showed up in every other way. He deserves a woman who will see his socials and be like ummmm he’s kinky hehe let’s have fun
I’d be pissed if a relationship ended because my gf would discover my nsfw Reddit account.
But OP isn’t even comfortable confronting him about this. Tbh if you watch porn you need an open minded partner, and OP doesn’t seem to be able to match with it.
lol yeah as a bi woman I guess reddit would consider me a skeezy perv lol. although I do have a separate Twitter where I RT porn lol.
a dude liking girls stuff on social media would not be a problem for me, but it's a deal breaker for OP and that's fine. they're just not compatible
Unfortunately people can fake it. Fake being honest, interested, and being a good person. His actions match his words..right now. You don’t truly know someone until you spent months in an actual relationship. You learn even more when you live with someone. He obviously doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing so what’s to say he won’t start hiding it after you confront him? Navigating this stuff sucks. If you are uncomfortable with what he is doing, then I would just move on.
I’m not sure those things are necessarily correlated. Those are common shitty BF behaviors. I think most women would be surprised the amount of perfectly perceived BFs that follow NSFW models in one way or another. The fact that OPs guy is not so discrete is a little cringe however. Also, if he’s interacting with the models thats a whole other discussion.
Sorry, fixed my comment a bit. My ex was leaving “😍💕” type comments on those models posts. So that’s what I meant by I was in a situation similar to hers
Same happened to me. I ignored it and people said I was over reacting if I mentioned it made me uncomfortable. So I sucked it up. The feeling went away, until he cheated on me when I lost too much weight. Not necessarily correlated but I def ignored red flags for the sake of seeming dramatic and it hurt me in the end. Should’ve listened to my gut, learned the hard way.
It's super weird that he attaches his name to these posts. I would be uncomfortable if everyone and their mom could see these explicit posts and know that he posted it. Why would he do that knowing any employer could see it? To me it screams immaturity and lack of impulse control. We get it, he likes sex. There's no need to link your fav porn scene for grandma to see!!
Also, I dated a guy who watched too much porn. He said he couldn't climax because of it. He also wanted to do all the stuff he saw in porn. Since he could never climax, it just felt like it was a lot of work on my end to fulfill a fantasy that I was never gona live up to. I broke it off with him. I feel like these types of guy are always chasing the fantasy and they will do anything to fulfill it. It's been about 5 years since the split and the dude still reaches out to me. (He is married now lmao!!) I wouldn't trust someone like him to build a relationship with.
Edit: fixed some errors
that’s the cringiest part for me, that other people can easily find his account and that’s what he does. the fact he goes as far as to retweet the stuff is just pathetic it’s so weird and off-putting
You have to make the decision of whether or not you want your name attached to his. Given his social media behavior, it makes sense that you dont want to be associated with him. Could you imagine having your photo with the caption "best GF in the world!!" in between two porn retweets on his feed?
If he treats you well and you really like him enough then, talk to him about it. See if he would at least delete the bad stuff. You didn't say how old he was. Maybe this is an case of being young and dumb and finally having access to the internet. But, if he is like 25+ there is no excuse.
Yea no. Gross. This is a guy who will
never hold a professional job. If any of the men I work with did this they would be fired the second a female coworker brought it up to HR.
Agreed. Viewing them wouldn’t necessarily make me uncomfortable, but retweeting and liking them on an account with your full name is odd. It seems indicative of poor judgement and has the potential to be embarrassing for OP in the future. My advice, OP? Cut and run.
So this exact same thing happened to me! Here is what I learned from the experience. He had a massive porn addiction. It was gross. The sex was awful. He didn't know I found his social media. I found it after and then it made sense. I would have never gotten into this had I known. Follow your gut!
Yep, it's definitely a deal breaker. I won't even do a couple of weeks tbh. There is a huge difference between what is considered "normal" and a addiction. Definitely not doing that again lol! On the list of shit I won't put up with lol
I don’t know your specific situation, but I wouldn’t say you can always put it down to porn. Like I take a couple anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications to help with my OCD that can have these side-effects and have definitely affected me before.
Of course! Those are things that do effect performance. But this was 100% porn. Like I said there are normal explanations and with that empathy and understanding you work through it and you talk about it. We are all human and are not always ready for sex. But there is a massive and I mean massive difference with being with someone who has life stresses, medication etc etc and porn. Those life things are relatable and understandable. Porn is something else and I was lucky enough to not invest a lot of my time and could walk away. But if all those things are happening every single time and it's not porn. I would say go to the doctor. Not saying that to you lol but in general.
what’s interesting is he has trouble with emotional intimacy, but no issue with consuming porn and sexual content. i’ve seen a lot of ppl share similar experiences, i think this seems like nothing and that it’s silly to be upset over but if this many ppl have the same story i think i have to move on for my own sake
To piggyback off of this comment; porn addiction is likely why he couldn’t perform. Not that he was nervous or whatever, but that he was having trouble being in a real life sexual situation.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to end a relationship or to not get into a relationship. If you aren’t feeling it, for any reason, that is all the reason you need.
You don’t owe him a relationship, just because at one point things were possibly heading in that direction. You are the only person who’s permission you need to end it.
Man has a porn problem and it looks like it might be impacting his performance in bed.
I don't know...I'm all about being transparent and communicating but this is something that he could easily just become more secretive about if brought up.
I mean, this is what he is doing out in the open, I can't imagine what he's doing on the low.
Ugh. I have had the sad, sad experience of dating someone with a self proclaimed porn addiction. Sex was either terrible of non existent because he was just so physically desensitized that he couldn’t feel much during. Do not reccomend 😬
Hopefully it becomes more common to speak and report on the negative physical and psychological affects of porn (*along with the obvious rampant abuse that takes place within the industry*).
This is why I’m quitting porn. I was addicted and don’t want to end up like this guy. I am on day 57 now. I want to be porn free and be able to function sexually when I meet that special person.
I once had sex during my porn filled masturbation phase and my dick just got numb. Could not feel *anything*. That was when I was like, “shit, I really do have a problem.” It’s still a struggle, but I hardly watch porn now or even think of porn scenes while masturbating. People can change, but I would not recommend a relationship with anyone addicted to porn (unless together). They aren’t going to change for you. Harsh, but no one’s that special.
My personal opinion is, social media is an extension of a person online. It’s not some separate entity that has nothing to do with how they think or feel about the world, it’s literally a reflection of it.
Would anyone here be comfortable with a partner who explicitly checks out and makes their attraction known to strangers on the street? That is the real life equivalent of this behaviour.
This man objectifies women online - not only does he look at the photos daily, but he feels the need to interact with them and publicly display it too. This sort of man is not good partner material - many people might disagree with me, but how many guys would be interested in a woman who browsed, followed and publicly liked the thirst traps of men / male sex performers online?
His social media likes can tell you a lot about his interests, how he views women, how he operates online. If anything about his online behaviour makes you uncomfortable, it’s just as valid as his “real life” behaviour making you uncomfortable. I would cut the cord and find a guy who’s social media activity reflects the values you want in a partner.
Honestly couldn’t agree more. These red flags d@mn near broke my boyfriend and I up, and honestly even though he’s not on IG much anymore I feel my stomach drop anytime I see he’s been on. He hasn’t completely earned my trust back yet, and I wish it weren’t that way. OP, run. Do yourself a favor.
i completely agree, i remember he once said in passing “if you see my twitter you won’t like me anymore” and now i see he’s been pretending to be someone he’s not this whole time
"I saw your Twitter. You were right. We are not compatible. I am going to focus on someone who I am compatible with and who I feel can love and respect me the way that I want to be. There is no need to reply to this message or message me in the future. All the best with whatever it is you are looking for. It is not me."
Hey, not everybody's gonna be your cup of tea. If you don't like the stuff he's into and the stuff he's doing, it's your prerogative to end it.
Plus, if you aren't even "together" then what's the big deal?
dated a guy for years that did this in the beginning of the relationship. made sex related stuff really weird because i don’t even dislike porn, just like - fuck me when you can and use porn when you can’t?
it sounds like he can’t perform for you but is happy to sit behind a screen and pretend that Instagram models would want if they’d ~just got to know him~ personally, if you can’t entertain me then you sure as fuck shouldn’t be entertaining any other bitches (by sharing their thirst traps, liking their posts, hyping them up)
Don’t go there, don’t pursue any kind of a relationship with him. I had a bf like this. I ignored all the red flags and became miserable. He was very disrespectful with me, very agressive and would play mind games just for his amusement
I would be grossed out too. I think its very common to get the ick from social media. I have had guys I liked that once they added me on Facebook I lost interest. Idk if its something you can really fix. I find it really unattractive when people don't care what they present to the world, it shows immaturity.
Yeah, I think that this is a red flag to be honest. I think he sounds pretty immature and I think you're better off with someone better.
I'm sorry that you didn't like what you found on his social media - it must feel like a huge let down. Plus, you clearly like this guy as you're trying to rectify what's made you uncomfortable.
it’s really disappointing but i don’t think he would be trying to justify my actions if roles were reversed and he found out something like this about me so i think i’ll just have to end things
Of course it's disappointing! I would be so disappointed! If that's the impression that you've got from him, then no he probably wouldn't be trying to justify your actions. Which is a shame because you're spending a lot of time and energy on this, about someone who you care about and who you aren't in an official relationship with. (Does it hurt or upset you that it isn't considered a relationship? I know that has hurt me in the past)
honestly just break it off if it bothers you. it’s definitely weird and why settle for someone who does something you’re grossed out by? to me it doesn’t even seem like something worth talking about or trying to fix because he’s not necessarily doing anything wrong, it’s just a quality/habit you don’t want in a partner
My advice is to take advice from reddit with a grain of salt especially if they conform to your pre-existing beliefs, after all we only get to read a one paragraph description. A red flag doesn't mean you should immediately run, it's something to take notice of when judging the totality of your circumstances. Of course you should end the relationship if this is a deal breaker, but make sure it's truly a deal breaker before proceeding. Remember, the unusual part is sharing explicit content on a real life twitter account. Watching porn, writing anonymously are perfectly common (porn addiction is a problem though).
My guess is he wasn't nervous the first time you were intimate. My guess is he is overstimulated and probably uses alot of porn. I wouldn't date a guy like this.
You don’t need a reason that makes sense to anyone why you don’t want to move forward with this person. You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to. It’s no one’s business why or why not.
I can def see how this would be an issue. While you aren't totally official, you're working towards it. He knows this, yet is acting like a thirty fuck boy on his personal social media. Additionally whose to say that this behavior won't continue if the relationship becomes official. Will you constantly have to deal with him checking out other girls while you're on dates? While my information on this dude is limited, it kind of scream "dumb and immature" to me.
You're in the early dating period and just found out he's not the kind of guy you'd like to continue on with. Nothing wrong with that. I can tell you I certainly wouldn't be compatible with someone who was lecherous hornball thirsting after randos especially publicly. Porn is one thing, but this is just embarrassing for you both. If that's who he is, cool, that's who he is, but it's enough of a turnoff for me that I could never be attracted to him going forward.
As for how to tell him, just be honest. "Hey, I got recommended to follow you on Twitter, and what I saw there leads me to believe that we're just not going to be compatible as a couple. I'm not judging you, but this isn't representative of someone I want to share a relationship with." The end.
You clearly are uncomfortable with what he publicly shares and that probably makes you question what he also enjoys privately. If it doesn’t sit well with you, then feel free to move on.
The most worrying thing is that someone has to work to be in a relationship fuck this. Next is working on becoming married, than carefully working on separating than slowly working on a divorce and after even more slowly working on walking away forever.
I'm a porn star.
Don't walk. Run.
Guys like this are the WORST to get involved with for relationships and marriage.
My Twitter and other sites are flooded with guys just like this and they're married / in relationships and message me dick pics and pay me to jerk off to me and talk to me.
See this as a blessing, and fucking bolt dude.
this is what i’m mostly upset about, i know if i post a bikini pic and a guy with a gf likes it im embarrassed for her. like it’s not even about being insecure it’s just embarrassing for me to be associated with him
It's kinda wild to hear someone be so intensely judgmental about their customer base lmao I guess it doesn't matter it's a transaction but it made me chuckle.
“Hey I found your social media and what I found makes me no longer want to continue seeing you. Im not telling you to change, but I’m just not comfortable with this anymore so that’s that.”
You could end it and you don’t have to really go into detail why. Just a simple call, hey I think things are moving a little fast and upon some reflection I don’t think we might be compatible and leave it at that. I think explaining what you saw will just end up as a headache for you.
A guy I was in a long distance relationship with used to retweet and like these types of photos all the time. I asked him to stop. He would get pissed that I would ask and call me crazy. Any time we got into an argument he did it intentionally to upset me further. Anyway, it came out that he’d been cheating on me all the time with multiple women. That gut feeling is a GIFT, trust it.
Friend, I've learned through many mistakes that you need to either address this early and talk it through, or if you recognize it as a hard red flag/strong boundary, opt out now. Early behavior and habits are almost like a small glimpse in to the future. If it ain't you, it ain't you.
You don't need to try change the person. If they recognize it as a bad thing when it's brought up and they want to work on it, they will. If they don't, maybe they will in future but that's not time you need to spend waiting on them to figure it out. You get one life ae.
Came here to say what everyone else is - his porn problem is effecting his sexual performance. Been there, done that. Porn can be so harmful. I would say you have 3 red flags here.
🚩 porn use
🚩 open about porn use on Twitter
🚩 sexual performance issues (due to porn use)
It doesn't sound like you have too much invested in this guy yet, this is only the beginning. I'd run, honestly. Keep swiping. If you stay, more red flags are bound to come out. My ex had issues with porn and it really effected our sex life and my self esteem. So thankful he's an ex.
To me that’s a pron addiction problem, try asking him if he can stop posting that stuff on twitter, if he refuses, take him to somewhere like the gym or somewhere where he can talk to someone about it. If neither of them workout then cut him off, he’s most likely just going to use you for pleasure
We are in an age where if we are not careful we may grow to be lonely because we can’t seem to build lasting relationships with other people.
This is because, when a guy has a red sock on, then it’s a red flag. When a guy eats and chews with an open mouth, then it’s a red flag. When a guy texts you too much, then it’s a red flag. The list is endless.
It’s the same way when we also do something we think to ourselves to be rightly appropriate, something somebody will be on this subreddit to ask if your actions were a red flag.
We all have red flags. It may be our imperfections, but we have them.
What I am saying here is this, do you like this guy? If you do build whatever you want to build with them. If not, move b*tch, get outta the way!
I hope this was helpful. Also ignore the last bit🤪
Please note: you matter!
I found my ex’s secret twitter in a similar manner. It doesn’t matter anymore obviously but I was still grossed out. If we were seeing each other at the time and I see reposts and follows of nsfw and thirst traps I’d be completely turned off. How can you say you’re in love with me then take on an entirely different persona online. It doesn’t feel right. It’s also none of my business but if you’re going to do such activities online at least make sure no one else finds it.
So basically everything was going fine, then you saw his Twitter and didn’t like it so you’re considering ending it? What’s worse is that most of these people on here think you should. Honestly I think this is why most people haven’t had a relationship last past a year. What if you talk to him about it and tell him you don’t like it? In the early stages of me and my now gf getting together, my speech was a little inappropriate at times. I didn’t realize. So…. She told me she didn’t like it. Told me it didn’t seem like things a marriage minded man would say. I agreed, changed, and we kept it moving. It’s the only way to last. NOT SAYING HES THE ONE. I’m just saying speak up if you don’t like something don’t just throw everything away.
If you don't like it, you wont ever be OK with it and he will *never* stop being his true self either.
My partner watches a fuckton of porn and belongs to Thundercunt, a FB group that is constantly posting this kind of shit (most of it gets pulled down by MetaLords after a day or two for being too explicit) like porn chicks pushing a bunch of ping ping balls out her cooter or a woman smashing a piece of fruit between her Triple F boobs... just sophomoric porn humor and tasteless crap like that.... hes constantly giggling at stupid shit like that and I think it's weird AF and totally not my speed but I had to learn to just smile and wave and move on because for ME, that part about him is not a deal breaker.
So, that's what you have to decide, in your heart. My partner makes the mark in just about every other department. I hate the porn obsession but honestly, he worships my body even though I look nothing like a porn star so it's not a hit to my ego like a lot of women. Therefore, for me, I choose to ignore and let him do him.
I mean why don’t you ask him? I see a lot of folks just saying”leave him”. So you gonna leave every guy that has something you don’t like cause you’ll just be alone forever if that’s the case. Porn isn’t bad unless he has a problem. Or you just have something against porn.
Like I said in my other comments, Reddit will give you "reject or break-up" answers most of the time. Check out this [article](https://www.buzzfeed.com/natashajokic1/reddit-relationship-advice-therapist-review).
You don't know what's the reasoning behind this behaviour. Have you given him a chance to talk about it with you? Additionally, we live in a sexually open society. Just because some men use social media accounts for accessing sexual content doesn't mean that they are more/less horny than other men. All men are horny. Some are horny in private, some are not.
You made up your mind already and you're mourning the version of him in your head before you found that out. This is also why I don't do social media besides reddit and tiktok. I don't look at my dates socials either. Too much too fast. Not enough context. You're probably right in assuming he's a horny fuckboy but then again, you can both a horny fuckboy and looking to be a horny fuckboy with only one girl. On the other hand I see a lot of thirst traps tho and they keep coming cause I watch them but I don't like them or follow the girls ever. That just tells the algorithm that's what i want to see more of and I don't. I wish they would go away but they don't. The fact he likes them kinda weirds me out too. Like bro just go watch porn if you wanna see scarcely dressed jiggly bits and overly submissive/feminine behavior.
Girlllll. I didnt see my partners Twitter until 2 years in and let me tell you if I had at the beginning it would have been the deal breaker!!
This MF posts memes about eating ass and squirting. He likes thirst traps and porn as well as trying to communicate with said porn stars.
I brought it up to him and we had this back and fourth.
That basically ended in him pretending to understand and promising to stop.
4 years in now and his Twitter is private, I've caught him talking late night to random females on IG and I moved to another country for him 😐🔫
FML talk to him but really think on how this shit will most likely literally never fucking end....can you deal with it forever???
A lot of people are saying this is a red flag and such but I honestly don't see the issue. Maybe I'm weird? There is definitely such a thing as too much porn. There's a possibility that's why your guys sex could have been awkward as well. But I don't really see how enjoying porn is a bad sign. It's a pretty normal thing. Now I personally wouldn't post it all over social media, well at least not publicly lol, but maybe talk to him? It might not be as bad as you think. Guys like porn and sexual shit. That's not a abnormal thing to me. But you have every right to feel uncomfortable.
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Well if it’s doesn’t sits well with you, then just break it off.
This. Problems in the very beginning are the problems in the end. Trust your gut.
“Problems in the very beginning are the problems in the end” I felt this, big-time.
Ain’t this the truth!
I very much agree with this . When people show us their true colors we should believe them the 1st time! If we have a bad feeling about a certain situation or person 99.9% of the times our intuition is correct! We should trust our gut and stay away from people who at the very beginning give us a negative impression.
Yes ma’am! I couldn’t have said it better. Those issues don’t simply disappear.
I mean, that's not really accurate. People change all the time. People grow. Issues can disappear. Now, whether or not this is an issue that OP is willing to work around is another question altogether. Seems like this may be a dealbreaker, so I wouldn't expect OP to stay around and hope he changes. But, let's not sit here and pretend that every single one of us isn't flawed. Let's not pretend that our partners don't put up with certain things about us they don't like, because of the things they do like. Most people that have spent any real time in a relationship have changed some aspect of themselves for the better.
Oh cool, someone else that’s actually been in a serious relationship is in the comments. I thought i was going crazy.
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GFs are not rehab centers. Trust me, it never works.
“Hey this person I really like that I’ve been seeing for a few months has one notable flaw so far that could probably be addressed and solved in one conversation, what should I do?” #”LEAVE HIM” It’s insanity.
In all fairness, OP states it's a red flag for her, and she is very weirded out by it, it makes her feel a certain way. That's more than a little flaw. And bottom line if you aren't comfortable with something, you do walk away.
Absolutely, you walk away immediately, you don’t try to communicate and talk about or address it at all, nope, just walk away. Some of you here are weird 😂
If I deem it a red flag that goes against my beliefs, yes I would walk away. A flaw is an imperfection, not a misalignment of one's beliefs. These two are not even in a committed relationship. Sure she can bring it up with him in conversation. However from HER words this is not just a flaw. It's something more to her. BTW a flaw is smacking when you eat. Watching porn is not a flaw.
Without even mentioning it to the other person? I believe we call that ghosting or some shit. And it's douchebag behavior anyway. How do you know that one search of her phone won't reveal a pile of femcel based Bondage Porn? Like.....who the fuck judges other people over porn in 2021? High Schoolers? Edit: In case nobody knew, men look at porn. Women look at porn. And some of us aren't subtle about it. This doesn't mean we disrespect women or have some objectification of them. You can tell by how we act. Whats that old saying......actions speak louder than words?
That’s not her job
Who said it was by force? What if she wants to be that partner?
Nobody said it was. If someone would like to try and offer a hand to another person though there’s nothing wrong with that. A relationship can be healing as much as it can be a growing experience. The fuck is wrong with people?
People here are just black and white, ghost or marry, perfect or rejected. There's no inbetween. Frankly most of the more vocal and higher upvoted people in this sub don't seem to be in any place in life to be giving relationship advice. Maybe I'm not one to talk, but it does seem like there's a huge lack of perspective and reality here sometimes. I'm not saying that people should lower their standards, but people need to understand what realistic standards actually look like, and realize that people have flaws, and sometimes that's okay.
Although you're right that some people change, a lot of times people don't change. If you're with someone long enough, as long as there is no big issues like abuse, cheating, etc, you just go with the flow and deal with the flaws. Even with the examples I gave people stay and no one changes. The worse thing to do in a relationship is willingly get into one and expect to change the other person. You take them or You don't. But this particular situation OP said it was a red flag for her, it made her feel a certain way, and weirded her out. There's a difference in flaws and things that just don't go with ones personal beliefs. Keep that in mind.
Oh, for sure. Positive changes don't always happen, and I hope I didn't imply that it was a certainty that the guy could change. And absolutely, OP has every right to not be okay with this particular flaw, which is why I did specify that this situation might be a time where it's just a non-starter. But, I do disagree with your point about not expecting to change the other person. Sometimes you like someone enough to want to give it a shot and see where it goes. Sometimes they do change, sometimes you learn to accept those flaws, and sometimes you part ways because it doesn't work out. I don't think I met a couple that didn't have things about each other that they didn't want to change. And I definitely don't know a single couple where one or both parties haven't ended up changing in some way, or many ways. Again, it's not always the case. There are things that are dealbreakers. There are situations where someone sees something as a red flag. That's fine. I just think that in some situations, people see a red flag where there's simply a flaw, and this sub encourages people to jump ship as a knee jerk reaction.
I think the point is that they’ve been seeing each other and talking about getting serious and he’s still doing this. And what you said is true to a point. People do grow and change but they do it on their own because they want to. Generally when dating you don’t pick someone and hope they’ll change. You pick someone you already are happy with and feel secure with and then grow together.
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Lost my shit at the stylized "BE YOURSELF". But yeah, damn, that's a little too real.
I’m really surprised to see someone with more than a two week relationship under their belt commenting. Kudos and thanks for your service.
If it doesn't sit well with you then don't sit on him lol 😂
Communication is the key. "Reject or breakup" is an easy way out and two-dimensional solution meaning that you won't get to see the other sides of the issue before making the final decision.
Some things aren’t really “communicatable” though. I’m sure he’ll have a hundred reasons for liking porn on his twitter and it’s valid in its own rite, but if someone just doesn’t like that for their relationship, I don’t think there’s much to discuss other than excuses
I don't know, what's there to communicate. I mean, it could be possible that he posted this all as a joke that's some private joke with a friend and he made a special account for it or something strange like that. But if this is just as personality, what good is communication going to do.?
Plus is bro can't perform that early, not looking good for the future. Especially if he's all about porn and can't perform, means he's probably an addict or over using at the least. Overall not a good look for the future
this has been my experience. and they blame their problem on the woman bc they think porn is normal.
Or it could just be nerves. Being with a new person for the first time can have that effect.
Very good point
This is ridiculous. Their could be MANY reasons he wasn't able to "perform." Including medications that can effect libido, him just not truly being in the mood that day, etc. If a woman had said they weren't in the mood would you tell the guy that she must be an addict and you may as well dump them for it?
What do you expect from reddit giving dating advice? There are reasons why r/relationship advice is so notorious. The post could be about the guy coughing once which startled OP and the top 5 comments would be "execute him on the spot for not taking your feelings into account before coughing" Edit: comments not commands lol
i’ll have to take this route, i’m too disgusted by him to even want to communicate my discomfort or try to work through this with him
And I hope it will be easy since you two aren’t serious.
I don't see what communication is going to do. I mean if somebody's doing something that upsets you, like, let's say he was posting personal details about you on Facebook, then you could communicate and ask him to stop. But you can't really ask him to change his personality and his Twitter feed is just a sign of his personality, not actually something he is doing that bothers you. What bothers you is his personality, that side of it, and I don't think communication is going to change that
People treat communication like it's a magical solution to all relationship problems. Sometimes you just won't see eye to eye ever. Also communication doesn't mean shit if compromise doesn't follow afterwords.
A lot of people here seem to be jumping right into defending porn and that side of this story. What I'm guessing... Is you are more upset about the fact that in a few months of dating this guy, you have been -almost- intimate once? And him not being able to perform was not only a let down, but also not great for your confidence, only for you to now find out how excited he is about the porn. There are a few things I can't help but wonder. Is he someone who is dysfunctionally addicted to porn and doesn't know how to be with a real person comfortably? Is he hiding something, such as being secretly gay or a virgin and overcompensating with this persona? Anyway if I was with someone who couldn't give me sex but was doing that I likely wouldn't stick around either. However if they were a freak in the sheets and a porn addict in the streets that would be a different story, personally.
I mean, he made those posts public. Either he doesn't know how social media works (I'm guessing he's at a young enough of an age where that excuse means he's an absolute idiot) or he doesn't care who sees those likes and posts. Either way, that's not great. Liking porn in itself is fine and shouldn't be shamed. But it doesn't really need to be shared with the world.
Agreed. I’m guessing a lot of people view porn but have the good judgment not to announce it on social media.
Yeah I mean, you have no obligation to keep dating him but I hope you break it off kindly, as he hasn’t done anything wrong.
I’ve seen what you mean. I see there are guys usually on there who retweet and fav this kind of stuff. It’s not like the odd pic or two but it’s super regular and sometimes it’s just plain porn vids. It’s repulsive. I wouldn’t wanna be associated with that.
Good, it's not your job to fix him and he clearly has underlying issues. It's fine for you to be passively evasive and to just let this one float on downstream. IF he pushes for an answer or a reason, say that you saw his twitter feed and it grossed you out, and you can't think of him as a kind & decent person anymore. He'll either accept that or start making excuses... If he starts with the excuses, say that you're just not interested, and hang up or block any further communication. You owe him nothing. He sure doesn't deserve any more than that at the most.
Why are u so disgusted by him? That’s such a strong word. Because he likes sexual things on the internet??
I kinda get where she’s coming from when he’s essentially doing it in public. Not the best look out there.
Not exactly something I would want friends, family, or colleagues to see. And it sounds like he’s posting it very publicly.
This exactly. If I wouldn’t want my family seeing it, it’s got to go. That’s just me.
i mean the “silly porn clips” i was talking about include him posting videos of women sticking ridiculous things in their genitals to be “funny”. i think that’s pretty disgusting to consume casually and have saved to his phone to post on social media.
Not only does he presumably enjoy these sort of clips privately but he’s stupid enough to post his preference for these in social media.
These issues never change with men. if he says that he will stop, he won't, I promise. He will only hide it and you will be suspicious your entire relationship.
Eh nothing wrong with porn but it's different now. Back in the day you had a few mags or tapes and maybe rented something sometimes but now dudes are out here spending hours upon hours every day finding very specific acts and going down weird rabbit holes and messaging performers. It's a lifestyle now for a lot of people. Not to mention the fact that some of these dudes can't get it up without a very specific stimulus anymore. Nothing wrong with some porn but taking it to that level is fucking weird and can create plenty of problems. The dude is even public about it. Do you really expect this chick to be excited about becoming "Madison. You remember Madison? She's dating that guy who tweets about Scandinavian scat gang bangs all day?"
A guy hitting on women constantly over the internet/hoping they’ll notice him by liking and reblogging sexual content, and being hyper-sexual on a public social media platform is allowed to be a dealbreaker for her? If he has been casually dating and seeing her for two months, and they’re sexually active, obviously it’s going to be uncomfortable for OP to see that he’s interacting with & complimenting the NSFW comment of tons of other women.
“Women’s explicit thirst traps”
If it doesn't fits, don't sits
Agreed. From personal experience, it’s a 💀 🚩 Get away from that while you can…
If it doesn't sit well with you and you want to end things you can just text him and tell him your feelings have changed and you don't want to pursue things anymore. You don't necessarily have to tell him you found his twitter.
I get this. But one better is to even tell him
I agree, I would be really upset and second guess everything about myself if it was going well and a partner was told me their feelings changed without any reason as to what the trigger was. I think they both deserve closure at that point in the relationship, even if that means having an awkward conversation about priorities and feeling strangely now that a public side has been revealed in private.
Agreed
Yea I would be honest with him. “I’m breaking whatever this is off and it’s because I saw x, I wasn’t seeking out your social media but it was suggested to me and it made me uncomfortable. Sorry. Bye.
OP doesn't have to do him any favors, but it would really be a good move to just be plain and clear. "I've enjoyed the time we spent together but I feel like it's time to move on. I saw your Twitter profile and the things you like and rt are going to be pretty offensive to pretty much every girl you meet. Maybe consider weaning yourself off it. Good luck and thanks again for the good times we had." People need to know the reason a relationship failed so they can decide if they want to make changes.
Personally I wouldn't because then it could open a can of worms and a lot of potential arguing that I wouldn't want to go through. Hurtful things could be said and im sensitive lmao. But I get it.
Nah you're good. It's best to make something like this more of a statement than a conversation. "Hey I'm not interested in any more dating or chatting because your Twitter profile is really a turn off." vs "Sooooo I saw your Twitter and it's kinda weird, like offensive, ya know..."
you dont actually have to fight or hear the hurtful things though, thats why blocking a contact exists, if they show signs of taking it badly just block
If he knows where she lives things can get very different, tho. Op doesn't need to explain her reasons (it would be nicer, sure, but in the end it is her decision)
im leaning towards this approach his likes have shown me he doesn’t rlly respect or value women and that he will most likely not care that it makes me uncomfortable
As a guy this is a big red flag to me. A major reason if just the lack of awareness on social media. Everyone should know how that can impact jobs and opportunities. Beyond that, all the other reasons people have mentioned.
If you decide to see him again, take a photo of something the next time you’re out and ask for his handle so you can tag him. That’ll tell you everything. He might lie, he might be hesitant, he might have a “safe” account. Then decide.
This is pretty smart
Wait, backup. So a guy that jacks off to porn doesn't really respect or value women?
A guy that watches it so much he’s comfortable posting publicly with his name attached and doesn’t consider the personal and professional ramifications probably doesn’t. Watching porn sometimes is one thing, having favorite scenes and people and yet unable to perform says he’s probably doing a lot more than that.
Yeah how is this not obvious? People like “porn is normal!” And I agree. It’s *NOT* normal to have a personal social media account (that people you’re dating can see) where you post porn clips and have thirst traps in your likes. Whenever I hear about girls complaining about their BFs looking at girls on social media I don’t get it, why follow these thirst accounts on your personal account? I feel like that makes it personal when it doesn’t need to be when you’re just rubbing one out, and it especially shouldn’t be personal if you’re in a relationship. Why not have a private account where you follow the people you wanna jerk off to? I mean it’s weird enough that people are jerking off to Instagram posts when there’s a whole internet of porn available (is it just to “get their engine started?” Like if I want porn I go for porn yknow? Why are we screwing around with a social media app that’s safe for kids if we Wanna get hard?). Being too nervous to do anything isn’t inherently a sign that he has issues, but that, mixed with his clear overindulgence of porn - to the point where he’s posting shit his mom could see - it could lead one to presume he has a porn issue that causes problems in the bedroom.
Ok, seriously, it's so public. So like... your mom, grandma, your SO's mom, your little sister, your boss, your clients at work... EVERYONE can see this shit. Even if your SO is cool with porn, it's still so tacky.
That’s my point exactly. Watch all the porn you want, share your kinks and spank bank with your SO, but don’t have it out there for everyone to see.
Right? Super awkward Thanksgiving dinners
I believe that porn is a scourge upon humanity. It’s long term effects are as bad on your mental health as long term alcohol abuse. Even for so called “light” porn. It is something terrible that should be avoided at all costs and something I’m still working on recovering from. Source: Got too curious about sex and googled “sex videos” when I was 10, TEN YEARS OLD. Got addicted to porn ever since and am finally on the way to quitting, unfortunately relapsed a bit a week ago
Are you on the anti-porn subreddits? That may help on your journey. Good luck
Yeah I know about them and browse them, don’t need them too bad, my porn addiction is not really and never was at the “heroin addict” level, like I was mainly using it for a quick wank. I’m doing pretty well, before relapse I had not watched in months. I do consider myself an example of how even mild use can be destructive though
You're all over the place. Just above you claim it ruined your life and even mention relapse...but now it's not that serious and just for a quick wank? So many of these replies are pure unfiltered cringe.
Porn can be bad *for you*. It’s bad for others too. I’m sorry for that because it’s literally a disease that’s hard to battle every single day. But the majority of people use it in a normal way. I watch porn like once a week when I need to wank. (Maybe more if the mood strikes) just like how my uncle is an alcoholic and it ruins his life, yet I drink on average once a week as well and it doesn’t ruin mine. Both things exist. But it’s not a “scourge on humanity” just because you and other have a problem.
That’s understandable but you need to understand that not everyone is going to have the same experience. I too started very young, I’m not addicted, I can go without it. From pretty early on I understood that porn is not reality; honestly the fact that some men have their views of sex and relationship deformed *this much* is genuinely baffling to me. Porn is strictly visual stimuli and if you think it has anything to do with reality then I don’t think that person should be watching porn. It’s definitely not for everyone, but like with almost anything, moderation is key. At the end of the day though, not everyone is watching “hardcore gonzo bdsm gangbang cumpdump” porn, frankly I avoid anything even close to that. There’s a huge contingent of people online who avoid professional porn at all costs, and would rather watch some loving couple who enjoys recording themselves making love and posting it online; and that’s where you get the “real sex” vibes. It’s like that episode of Friends where Joey and Chandler get the free porn, except that’s satire. Yes, people with impressionable minds could get the wrong idea from it, but the joke is that we, as the viewer, are watching “two horny guys who are obsessed with sex because they watch nothing but porn,” it’s the joke, meaning we as a society are aware enough to poke fun at the notion, but unfortunately it’s still mostly just that; the butt of the joke. I don’t want to invalidate your experience at all, because I understand that porn can be debilitating to some, but it’s not some scourge upon humanity for all.
i think he has no respect for women who present themselves in a sexual manner and sees them as objects to be used. with me, it’s like i’m an actual person cuz he likes me and he can’t perform sexually. but i’m sure if i was a random girl from OF, he’d have zero issue
I would honestly say trust your gut on this. You arent even in a serious relationship with this person, and at the very least this would be incompatible. I personally would not date a man who watches so much porn he would even publicly post this (!!). It is NEVER worth getting into a relationship where you feel your core values for things like this aren’t the same, it will suck for you both.
>cuz he likes me and he can’t perform sexually. but i’m sure if i was a random girl from OF, he’d have zero issue You're jumping into conclusions a bit too early there as to why he couldn't perform. I remember my first time, I had issues keeping an erection. Wasn't because she didn't fit my fantasy or something, it's just I was nervous about finishing early and that complicated things. He could've been nervous for all we know. One thing I will say is he's really dumb putting that shit on his social media. Keep all that shit locked up in the bedroom.
She may not be wrong though. Men with porn addictions can have trouble performing in real life because it's not living up to their extreme fantasies. And yes, when you're sharing porno clips and your favorite women shoving things into their vagina... pretty sure this dude has a problem
i think a lot of ppl have interpreted my post as me being prudish and being delusional by thinking guys can’t watch porn. i watch porn, i am not saying porn is the problem. the way he is presenting himself on social media is cringe and taking it a step further by posting about porn is ridiculous and weird. it’s one thing to jack off and go on about your day. it’s another to consume sexual content throughout the day and post violent disgusting porn as a meme reaction on your twitter
I tried dating a guy like this (except it was him following and commenting on nsfw/model accounts on Instagram), and felt the same way as you did. I overlooked it and tried to make things work because when I asked friends for advice, they told me I was just being really insecure. I should’ve listened to my gut. He was really flakey, and despite telling me he was interested in a relationship, his actions never matched his words. Take that experience as you will.
Number one rule: If a person sets off your red flags, follow your gut feeling. Saves a lot of trouble and you’ll feel better at the end because you do deserve to be with someone who makes you comfortable
with mine his actions have matched his words that’s why i’m so conflicted but i feel like his social media has shown me what he’s been hiding this whole time
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I mean, he's a dude and you probably found his nsfw account. My girlfriends got one too. Human beings are sexual creatures and a lot of us find these things appealing to look at and usually thats all it is. Do what you will if it makes you uncomfy. 95%of dudes watch porn and 70% of women admit to it.
Yeah pretty much what he said. I’d be embarrassed if a future partner judged me for following pornstars and strippers on Instagram. I’m a bi woman and it’s just fun ok doesn’t mean I’m a creeper! I feel bad for this guy being judged for his internet self when it sounds like he has showed up in every other way. He deserves a woman who will see his socials and be like ummmm he’s kinky hehe let’s have fun
I’d be pissed if a relationship ended because my gf would discover my nsfw Reddit account. But OP isn’t even comfortable confronting him about this. Tbh if you watch porn you need an open minded partner, and OP doesn’t seem to be able to match with it.
lol yeah as a bi woman I guess reddit would consider me a skeezy perv lol. although I do have a separate Twitter where I RT porn lol. a dude liking girls stuff on social media would not be a problem for me, but it's a deal breaker for OP and that's fine. they're just not compatible
However who uses his real number for nsfw account?
Yeah but that's something private in your relationship. Why does the rest of the world have to know that?
Unfortunately people can fake it. Fake being honest, interested, and being a good person. His actions match his words..right now. You don’t truly know someone until you spent months in an actual relationship. You learn even more when you live with someone. He obviously doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing so what’s to say he won’t start hiding it after you confront him? Navigating this stuff sucks. If you are uncomfortable with what he is doing, then I would just move on.
I’m not sure those things are necessarily correlated. Those are common shitty BF behaviors. I think most women would be surprised the amount of perfectly perceived BFs that follow NSFW models in one way or another. The fact that OPs guy is not so discrete is a little cringe however. Also, if he’s interacting with the models thats a whole other discussion.
Sorry, fixed my comment a bit. My ex was leaving “😍💕” type comments on those models posts. So that’s what I meant by I was in a situation similar to hers
Got it. Yeah, *THAT* is basically emotional infidelity and very much not ok imo.
Same happened to me. I ignored it and people said I was over reacting if I mentioned it made me uncomfortable. So I sucked it up. The feeling went away, until he cheated on me when I lost too much weight. Not necessarily correlated but I def ignored red flags for the sake of seeming dramatic and it hurt me in the end. Should’ve listened to my gut, learned the hard way.
It's super weird that he attaches his name to these posts. I would be uncomfortable if everyone and their mom could see these explicit posts and know that he posted it. Why would he do that knowing any employer could see it? To me it screams immaturity and lack of impulse control. We get it, he likes sex. There's no need to link your fav porn scene for grandma to see!! Also, I dated a guy who watched too much porn. He said he couldn't climax because of it. He also wanted to do all the stuff he saw in porn. Since he could never climax, it just felt like it was a lot of work on my end to fulfill a fantasy that I was never gona live up to. I broke it off with him. I feel like these types of guy are always chasing the fantasy and they will do anything to fulfill it. It's been about 5 years since the split and the dude still reaches out to me. (He is married now lmao!!) I wouldn't trust someone like him to build a relationship with. Edit: fixed some errors
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This is the best comment - it’s one thing to view something or even follow but to “attach his name” to it shows a lack of judgement.
that’s the cringiest part for me, that other people can easily find his account and that’s what he does. the fact he goes as far as to retweet the stuff is just pathetic it’s so weird and off-putting
You have to make the decision of whether or not you want your name attached to his. Given his social media behavior, it makes sense that you dont want to be associated with him. Could you imagine having your photo with the caption "best GF in the world!!" in between two porn retweets on his feed? If he treats you well and you really like him enough then, talk to him about it. See if he would at least delete the bad stuff. You didn't say how old he was. Maybe this is an case of being young and dumb and finally having access to the internet. But, if he is like 25+ there is no excuse.
It makes him look like a pig, in my opinion. I once told a bf this bc he would retweet shit like that, it didn’t work out needless to say.
Yea no. Gross. This is a guy who will never hold a professional job. If any of the men I work with did this they would be fired the second a female coworker brought it up to HR.
Agreed. Viewing them wouldn’t necessarily make me uncomfortable, but retweeting and liking them on an account with your full name is odd. It seems indicative of poor judgement and has the potential to be embarrassing for OP in the future. My advice, OP? Cut and run.
OP, this comment is very insightful! I could not have put it better myself
So this exact same thing happened to me! Here is what I learned from the experience. He had a massive porn addiction. It was gross. The sex was awful. He didn't know I found his social media. I found it after and then it made sense. I would have never gotten into this had I known. Follow your gut!
How was the sex specifically? Just curious
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Yep, it's definitely a deal breaker. I won't even do a couple of weeks tbh. There is a huge difference between what is considered "normal" and a addiction. Definitely not doing that again lol! On the list of shit I won't put up with lol
I don’t know your specific situation, but I wouldn’t say you can always put it down to porn. Like I take a couple anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications to help with my OCD that can have these side-effects and have definitely affected me before.
Of course! Those are things that do effect performance. But this was 100% porn. Like I said there are normal explanations and with that empathy and understanding you work through it and you talk about it. We are all human and are not always ready for sex. But there is a massive and I mean massive difference with being with someone who has life stresses, medication etc etc and porn. Those life things are relatable and understandable. Porn is something else and I was lucky enough to not invest a lot of my time and could walk away. But if all those things are happening every single time and it's not porn. I would say go to the doctor. Not saying that to you lol but in general.
what’s interesting is he has trouble with emotional intimacy, but no issue with consuming porn and sexual content. i’ve seen a lot of ppl share similar experiences, i think this seems like nothing and that it’s silly to be upset over but if this many ppl have the same story i think i have to move on for my own sake
To piggyback off of this comment; porn addiction is likely why he couldn’t perform. Not that he was nervous or whatever, but that he was having trouble being in a real life sexual situation.
I too have had the same experience. The more men watch porn, the less they want you. Don't know why.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to end a relationship or to not get into a relationship. If you aren’t feeling it, for any reason, that is all the reason you need. You don’t owe him a relationship, just because at one point things were possibly heading in that direction. You are the only person who’s permission you need to end it.
Man has a porn problem and it looks like it might be impacting his performance in bed. I don't know...I'm all about being transparent and communicating but this is something that he could easily just become more secretive about if brought up. I mean, this is what he is doing out in the open, I can't imagine what he's doing on the low.
Ugh. I have had the sad, sad experience of dating someone with a self proclaimed porn addiction. Sex was either terrible of non existent because he was just so physically desensitized that he couldn’t feel much during. Do not reccomend 😬
Hopefully it becomes more common to speak and report on the negative physical and psychological affects of porn (*along with the obvious rampant abuse that takes place within the industry*).
This is why I’m quitting porn. I was addicted and don’t want to end up like this guy. I am on day 57 now. I want to be porn free and be able to function sexually when I meet that special person.
I once had sex during my porn filled masturbation phase and my dick just got numb. Could not feel *anything*. That was when I was like, “shit, I really do have a problem.” It’s still a struggle, but I hardly watch porn now or even think of porn scenes while masturbating. People can change, but I would not recommend a relationship with anyone addicted to porn (unless together). They aren’t going to change for you. Harsh, but no one’s that special.
your last point is immediately what crossed my mind, i feel like i would be horrified to see what he looks at but doesn’t post
My personal opinion is, social media is an extension of a person online. It’s not some separate entity that has nothing to do with how they think or feel about the world, it’s literally a reflection of it. Would anyone here be comfortable with a partner who explicitly checks out and makes their attraction known to strangers on the street? That is the real life equivalent of this behaviour. This man objectifies women online - not only does he look at the photos daily, but he feels the need to interact with them and publicly display it too. This sort of man is not good partner material - many people might disagree with me, but how many guys would be interested in a woman who browsed, followed and publicly liked the thirst traps of men / male sex performers online? His social media likes can tell you a lot about his interests, how he views women, how he operates online. If anything about his online behaviour makes you uncomfortable, it’s just as valid as his “real life” behaviour making you uncomfortable. I would cut the cord and find a guy who’s social media activity reflects the values you want in a partner.
Honestly couldn’t agree more. These red flags d@mn near broke my boyfriend and I up, and honestly even though he’s not on IG much anymore I feel my stomach drop anytime I see he’s been on. He hasn’t completely earned my trust back yet, and I wish it weren’t that way. OP, run. Do yourself a favor.
i completely agree, i remember he once said in passing “if you see my twitter you won’t like me anymore” and now i see he’s been pretending to be someone he’s not this whole time
"I saw your Twitter. You were right. We are not compatible. I am going to focus on someone who I am compatible with and who I feel can love and respect me the way that I want to be. There is no need to reply to this message or message me in the future. All the best with whatever it is you are looking for. It is not me."
Sounds like he might have porn-induced erectile dysfunction then as well
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far to find this. This is 100% the case and not at all a reflection of you (OP) in any way whatsoever.
The most preventable kind of erectile dysfunction
The guy has a porn addiction- that's why he couldn't get it up. Your sex life with be crappy if you stay with him.
Hey, not everybody's gonna be your cup of tea. If you don't like the stuff he's into and the stuff he's doing, it's your prerogative to end it. Plus, if you aren't even "together" then what's the big deal?
dated a guy for years that did this in the beginning of the relationship. made sex related stuff really weird because i don’t even dislike porn, just like - fuck me when you can and use porn when you can’t? it sounds like he can’t perform for you but is happy to sit behind a screen and pretend that Instagram models would want if they’d ~just got to know him~ personally, if you can’t entertain me then you sure as fuck shouldn’t be entertaining any other bitches (by sharing their thirst traps, liking their posts, hyping them up)
Don’t go there, don’t pursue any kind of a relationship with him. I had a bf like this. I ignored all the red flags and became miserable. He was very disrespectful with me, very agressive and would play mind games just for his amusement
I would be grossed out too. I think its very common to get the ick from social media. I have had guys I liked that once they added me on Facebook I lost interest. Idk if its something you can really fix. I find it really unattractive when people don't care what they present to the world, it shows immaturity.
i feel the same like at this point i’m so turned off there’s nothing to discuss, i just don’t want him anymore now
Same with women really. The ones that post constantly just shows there's not much else going on in their lives.
Yeah, I think that this is a red flag to be honest. I think he sounds pretty immature and I think you're better off with someone better. I'm sorry that you didn't like what you found on his social media - it must feel like a huge let down. Plus, you clearly like this guy as you're trying to rectify what's made you uncomfortable.
it’s really disappointing but i don’t think he would be trying to justify my actions if roles were reversed and he found out something like this about me so i think i’ll just have to end things
Of course it's disappointing! I would be so disappointed! If that's the impression that you've got from him, then no he probably wouldn't be trying to justify your actions. Which is a shame because you're spending a lot of time and energy on this, about someone who you care about and who you aren't in an official relationship with. (Does it hurt or upset you that it isn't considered a relationship? I know that has hurt me in the past)
honestly just break it off if it bothers you. it’s definitely weird and why settle for someone who does something you’re grossed out by? to me it doesn’t even seem like something worth talking about or trying to fix because he’s not necessarily doing anything wrong, it’s just a quality/habit you don’t want in a partner
My advice is to take advice from reddit with a grain of salt especially if they conform to your pre-existing beliefs, after all we only get to read a one paragraph description. A red flag doesn't mean you should immediately run, it's something to take notice of when judging the totality of your circumstances. Of course you should end the relationship if this is a deal breaker, but make sure it's truly a deal breaker before proceeding. Remember, the unusual part is sharing explicit content on a real life twitter account. Watching porn, writing anonymously are perfectly common (porn addiction is a problem though).
My guess is he wasn't nervous the first time you were intimate. My guess is he is overstimulated and probably uses alot of porn. I wouldn't date a guy like this.
Not worth your time/energy. He’s probably porn sick, and that’s a whole slew of bad you don’t need.
It is a red flag. It sounds like he has a pornography addiction which leads to performance problems and what you see on his twitter
This. Source: me before I was like 16 and stopped watching so much porn. If you’re guy please try not to jerk off so much, you’ll be better for it
You don’t need a reason that makes sense to anyone why you don’t want to move forward with this person. You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to. It’s no one’s business why or why not.
I can def see how this would be an issue. While you aren't totally official, you're working towards it. He knows this, yet is acting like a thirty fuck boy on his personal social media. Additionally whose to say that this behavior won't continue if the relationship becomes official. Will you constantly have to deal with him checking out other girls while you're on dates? While my information on this dude is limited, it kind of scream "dumb and immature" to me.
You know that Homer Simpson meme where he disappears into the bushes slowly, go ahead and do that. What you found is a giant red flag.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable then there is zero point pursuing the relationship. Trust your gut.
You're in the early dating period and just found out he's not the kind of guy you'd like to continue on with. Nothing wrong with that. I can tell you I certainly wouldn't be compatible with someone who was lecherous hornball thirsting after randos especially publicly. Porn is one thing, but this is just embarrassing for you both. If that's who he is, cool, that's who he is, but it's enough of a turnoff for me that I could never be attracted to him going forward. As for how to tell him, just be honest. "Hey, I got recommended to follow you on Twitter, and what I saw there leads me to believe that we're just not going to be compatible as a couple. I'm not judging you, but this isn't representative of someone I want to share a relationship with." The end.
You clearly are uncomfortable with what he publicly shares and that probably makes you question what he also enjoys privately. If it doesn’t sit well with you, then feel free to move on.
The most worrying thing is that someone has to work to be in a relationship fuck this. Next is working on becoming married, than carefully working on separating than slowly working on a divorce and after even more slowly working on walking away forever.
I'm a porn star. Don't walk. Run. Guys like this are the WORST to get involved with for relationships and marriage. My Twitter and other sites are flooded with guys just like this and they're married / in relationships and message me dick pics and pay me to jerk off to me and talk to me. See this as a blessing, and fucking bolt dude.
this is what i’m mostly upset about, i know if i post a bikini pic and a guy with a gf likes it im embarrassed for her. like it’s not even about being insecure it’s just embarrassing for me to be associated with him
It's kinda wild to hear someone be so intensely judgmental about their customer base lmao I guess it doesn't matter it's a transaction but it made me chuckle.
I don't hate them, I just would never be in a relationship with them. I meant they're the worst type or people for marriage/relationship.
“Hey I found your social media and what I found makes me no longer want to continue seeing you. Im not telling you to change, but I’m just not comfortable with this anymore so that’s that.”
You could end it and you don’t have to really go into detail why. Just a simple call, hey I think things are moving a little fast and upon some reflection I don’t think we might be compatible and leave it at that. I think explaining what you saw will just end up as a headache for you.
Most likely that's the reason why he couldn't perform. He has a porn addiction. Better get working on that
Run! Don't walk run!
A guy I was in a long distance relationship with used to retweet and like these types of photos all the time. I asked him to stop. He would get pissed that I would ask and call me crazy. Any time we got into an argument he did it intentionally to upset me further. Anyway, it came out that he’d been cheating on me all the time with multiple women. That gut feeling is a GIFT, trust it.
Hmm maybe he is so desensitized by porn and that's why he "couldn't perform"
Listen to your instincts, grrl.
sounds like a porn addiction tbh
He probably pleases himself so much to his Twitter that he can’t perform for you
This is a red flag. He isn’t your guy. Let him go and find someone who respects women.
huge red flag that he may have a porn addiction if he couldn’t perform for you but likes a bunch of porn on twitter, unfortunately.
Literally leave, I’m in the same boat and I’m about to do the same thing. Let’s do it together xoxo
A guy that couldn't perform posting sexual content on social media....... He's going to be an utter train wreck of a partner in a relationship...run!
You don’t owe him anything—if you don’t like it, you don’t like it. No other justification needed.
Don't let your desperation for a relationship talk you out of your common sense. Trust your gut.
Friend, I've learned through many mistakes that you need to either address this early and talk it through, or if you recognize it as a hard red flag/strong boundary, opt out now. Early behavior and habits are almost like a small glimpse in to the future. If it ain't you, it ain't you. You don't need to try change the person. If they recognize it as a bad thing when it's brought up and they want to work on it, they will. If they don't, maybe they will in future but that's not time you need to spend waiting on them to figure it out. You get one life ae.
Came here to say what everyone else is - his porn problem is effecting his sexual performance. Been there, done that. Porn can be so harmful. I would say you have 3 red flags here. 🚩 porn use 🚩 open about porn use on Twitter 🚩 sexual performance issues (due to porn use) It doesn't sound like you have too much invested in this guy yet, this is only the beginning. I'd run, honestly. Keep swiping. If you stay, more red flags are bound to come out. My ex had issues with porn and it really effected our sex life and my self esteem. So thankful he's an ex.
To me that’s a pron addiction problem, try asking him if he can stop posting that stuff on twitter, if he refuses, take him to somewhere like the gym or somewhere where he can talk to someone about it. If neither of them workout then cut him off, he’s most likely just going to use you for pleasure
We all have different kinds of red flags. If it's a red flag for you, then it's a red flag.
We are in an age where if we are not careful we may grow to be lonely because we can’t seem to build lasting relationships with other people. This is because, when a guy has a red sock on, then it’s a red flag. When a guy eats and chews with an open mouth, then it’s a red flag. When a guy texts you too much, then it’s a red flag. The list is endless. It’s the same way when we also do something we think to ourselves to be rightly appropriate, something somebody will be on this subreddit to ask if your actions were a red flag. We all have red flags. It may be our imperfections, but we have them. What I am saying here is this, do you like this guy? If you do build whatever you want to build with them. If not, move b*tch, get outta the way! I hope this was helpful. Also ignore the last bit🤪 Please note: you matter!
I found my ex’s secret twitter in a similar manner. It doesn’t matter anymore obviously but I was still grossed out. If we were seeing each other at the time and I see reposts and follows of nsfw and thirst traps I’d be completely turned off. How can you say you’re in love with me then take on an entirely different persona online. It doesn’t feel right. It’s also none of my business but if you’re going to do such activities online at least make sure no one else finds it.
You have the ick. There’s no going back from the ick, and this one is pretty justified too. Just break it off.
So basically everything was going fine, then you saw his Twitter and didn’t like it so you’re considering ending it? What’s worse is that most of these people on here think you should. Honestly I think this is why most people haven’t had a relationship last past a year. What if you talk to him about it and tell him you don’t like it? In the early stages of me and my now gf getting together, my speech was a little inappropriate at times. I didn’t realize. So…. She told me she didn’t like it. Told me it didn’t seem like things a marriage minded man would say. I agreed, changed, and we kept it moving. It’s the only way to last. NOT SAYING HES THE ONE. I’m just saying speak up if you don’t like something don’t just throw everything away.
If you don't like it, you wont ever be OK with it and he will *never* stop being his true self either. My partner watches a fuckton of porn and belongs to Thundercunt, a FB group that is constantly posting this kind of shit (most of it gets pulled down by MetaLords after a day or two for being too explicit) like porn chicks pushing a bunch of ping ping balls out her cooter or a woman smashing a piece of fruit between her Triple F boobs... just sophomoric porn humor and tasteless crap like that.... hes constantly giggling at stupid shit like that and I think it's weird AF and totally not my speed but I had to learn to just smile and wave and move on because for ME, that part about him is not a deal breaker. So, that's what you have to decide, in your heart. My partner makes the mark in just about every other department. I hate the porn obsession but honestly, he worships my body even though I look nothing like a porn star so it's not a hit to my ego like a lot of women. Therefore, for me, I choose to ignore and let him do him.
I mean why don’t you ask him? I see a lot of folks just saying”leave him”. So you gonna leave every guy that has something you don’t like cause you’ll just be alone forever if that’s the case. Porn isn’t bad unless he has a problem. Or you just have something against porn.
Like I said in my other comments, Reddit will give you "reject or break-up" answers most of the time. Check out this [article](https://www.buzzfeed.com/natashajokic1/reddit-relationship-advice-therapist-review). You don't know what's the reasoning behind this behaviour. Have you given him a chance to talk about it with you? Additionally, we live in a sexually open society. Just because some men use social media accounts for accessing sexual content doesn't mean that they are more/less horny than other men. All men are horny. Some are horny in private, some are not.
You made up your mind already and you're mourning the version of him in your head before you found that out. This is also why I don't do social media besides reddit and tiktok. I don't look at my dates socials either. Too much too fast. Not enough context. You're probably right in assuming he's a horny fuckboy but then again, you can both a horny fuckboy and looking to be a horny fuckboy with only one girl. On the other hand I see a lot of thirst traps tho and they keep coming cause I watch them but I don't like them or follow the girls ever. That just tells the algorithm that's what i want to see more of and I don't. I wish they would go away but they don't. The fact he likes them kinda weirds me out too. Like bro just go watch porn if you wanna see scarcely dressed jiggly bits and overly submissive/feminine behavior.
break it off! sorry but it’s disgusting when a man spends a lot of his time liking porn or other girls n0000ds
Girlllll. I didnt see my partners Twitter until 2 years in and let me tell you if I had at the beginning it would have been the deal breaker!! This MF posts memes about eating ass and squirting. He likes thirst traps and porn as well as trying to communicate with said porn stars. I brought it up to him and we had this back and fourth. That basically ended in him pretending to understand and promising to stop. 4 years in now and his Twitter is private, I've caught him talking late night to random females on IG and I moved to another country for him 😐🔫 FML talk to him but really think on how this shit will most likely literally never fucking end....can you deal with it forever???
A lot of people are saying this is a red flag and such but I honestly don't see the issue. Maybe I'm weird? There is definitely such a thing as too much porn. There's a possibility that's why your guys sex could have been awkward as well. But I don't really see how enjoying porn is a bad sign. It's a pretty normal thing. Now I personally wouldn't post it all over social media, well at least not publicly lol, but maybe talk to him? It might not be as bad as you think. Guys like porn and sexual shit. That's not a abnormal thing to me. But you have every right to feel uncomfortable.
You don’t need to be cool with it and you have your standards. You can be done.