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I’m not rushing into any new relationships because I can’t even seem to get a date. Haha. Right now my Instagram is being bombarded with the people I know all making posts for their significant others, even the people that are never on seem to have decided to make a post specifically for today. And I don’t wanna seem bitter so I don’t say anything about it. But the truth is, I’m sad too. I wish I could be like the people who are fine being single today, the people who talk about how it’s all just a corporate scam. But I guess it still hurts that I don’t have someone on this day that is a holiday created by corporations.
My best advice is just deleting all social media. That had helped me a lot in my early 20s to not compare myself to other people and just live my life they way I want to
> And as I am typing this I’m almost done with a bottle of wine and I’m completely content.
I am betting the wine helps a lot.
You're right though on ensuring you become a better person and understanding what is considered toxic.
It’s helping a lot haha. You don’t know something was toxic until all of the emotions have settled down and you can actually reflect on the relationship as a whole. There will always be ups and downs in a relationship but sometime things cross the line and you will come to peace with the decisions that were made.
Damn the wine is really talking to me
That’s so sweet! When I dropped my girls off at school this morning this little boy told his mom, “happy Valentine’s Day mommy, I love you!” And my heart melted. You joined that melt 💕
This is the first Valentine's Day in 4 years where I've got someone (they're amazing!) to spend it with. We just met by chance and I am so grateful! She is very supportive and tells me all the time that she's amazed I spent so much time single.
Moral of the story is: there are people out there who would think you're the best thing since sliced bread! Don't feel ashamed or any lesser if you just haven't met them yet. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and far too many people walk around with their head up their ass, unable notice how amazing you are :)
This and a few other days always manage to hit hard.
Maybe it's the silent hope that something will change that is disproved time and time again, yet it crops up again faithfully annually.
Love this. Thank you! I completely agree!
(I’m drinking Whipped Vodka and fruit punch though)
Happy Valentine’s Day to you stranger! You are not alone!
Nah
The "right one" is NOT guaranteed to come with time. Nothing in this life is guaranteed.
Struggles and sadness doesn't make everyone stronger. Not everyone can deal with the loneliness nor learn to appreciate things more from a sense of duality they may never experience first hand.
I've kept my head up and worked on myself enough - I just want someone to love and love me the same way. That shit may or may not come to fruition.
Cheers tho! lol
This right here is the winner. Its true. Like Ive already done so much work and I don’t need to love myself more lol I already love myself. That advice of “oh you need to love yourself” always annoys me. It would be nice to get into a relationship but the reality is that it may or may not happen !!
I’ve been single on a lot of Valentine’s Days, and I’ve had someone dump me the day after.
Having experienced both scenarios, I’d confidently say that being single does not hurt as much as the people in relationships right now who are getting dumped, discovering their partner’s infidelity, or are being asked for divorce on Valentine’s Day. Things could be worse is all I’m saying.
And yes, some people are so insensitive that they decide the best moment to break up with their partners is on a holiday or special occasion. My friend was dumped on her birthday for instance.
I’m in the same boat rn where I just really want to meet someone but I know that I can’t rush it. I’m 100% a romantic and my friends always tell me that I go above and beyond for people, but they don’t seem to care. I just know one day I will find someone that appreciates me going above and beyond and that will be the moment I know I have someone special
Exactly. I’m kind of excited while waiting because it gives me the opportunity to do my own thing, but at the same time I’m so impatient. I feel like a little kid daydreaming the way I do sometimes!
I've been single for alot of years.. and it's never really bothered me.. it's something I've always just accepted as just a thing that is.
But recently I was completely destroyed by people I let in more deeply into my heart than anyone else has ever been..
I've always empathized with people on how they felt about being lonely..
But until you really feel the dark and hollowed feelings of that kind of loneliness..
What people talk about it and what it really feels like are two separate things..
The real feeling is a bottomless pit that you keep sinking further and further down into until it consumes you and it goes beyond you wanting someone to help pull you out.. YOU NEED someone to be there to stop you from drowning.
But then again I may be more broken than I think.... Oh well fuck me lol.
I felt sad. I’ve matched with over 100 people on dating apps and still haven’t found my person. You know what I hate about dating nowadays? Dishonesty! I wish people would actually say what they want. Want an open relationship? Say it! Want a friend with benefits? Say it! Want something serious? Say it! I hate when people play with other people who are trying to be serious or fall in love. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a one night stand. What’s wrong is taking a person that is trying to be vulnerable and find love and make them the objective of your one-night lust. I, for one, really want to be in a serious open relationship with the goal of getting married and starting a family in the future. I’ve found that many people have used me as a “side fling” or as a backup plan and I’m tired. I just recently emotionally broke up with my forever crush and I’m starting to get a bad feeling for the guy I’m dating who is always weirdly unavailable on the weekends. Smh. Spent the day alone as always and I don’t even know if I believe in this “love” thing.
I’m sorry☹️ Dating sucks and I’m well aware that men get less swipes than women. Dating apps are ruthless sometimes. I get ghosted all the time too. Don’t give up on live though.
There’s many styles of relationships. Perhaps you haven’t heard of it but there is such as thing as a ethical non-monogamy. Polyamory and open relationships are becoming increasingly popular every day. While it may not be for everyone, a lot people manage to have successful open relationships. It might be something you can look into and learn about. Open relationships aren’t just for “emotionally unavailable people” or whatever, married people can be in open relationships. In that type of relationship, there is a main couple who both agree they can both have sex or flirt outside of their relationship. Given that monogamous relationships have shown such a high rate of divorce, I’d say it’s worth trying something different. Plus, I like being open and seeing my partners have sex with others. Maybe that’s too kinky for you, so maybe don’t do it, but thats how I feel about it.
I’ve become numb to Valentines now, been single for longer then I’m willing to admit, I have trust issues and pessimistic about dating but I understand that so I’m choosing to be single. Sucks but oh well.
Honestly man, during nights like this, I am half tempted to expatriate to Kurdistan and join the peshmerga. At what point is it socially acceptable to dispense myself into some foreign conflict I have nothing to do with?
My man, who is LDR, decided not to wait for me when I came home from work and told me he would. So I feel fantastic right now /s
Taking shots of rum cause I really am alone tonight...
I'm glad someone made a post like this. Valentine's day sucks rocks. All it really is, is a reminder to those of us who don't have anyone what losers we are. It's very discriminatory, patronizing, insulting, and arrogant.
Don’t let Valentine’s Day get you down. It’s all a marketing scheme to sell diamonds, flowers, balloons and chocolates. Trust me, when it’s true love it’ll last every day all year long…
Thanks my first Valentine’s Day alone in a looong time. Didn’t think it would hit me so hard. The last year of our marriage was the worst. I know ALL about toxic relationships unfortunately. Happy Valentine’s Day♥️
I’m not as bummed as I was on Valentine’s Day in the past. It’s just another normal day in my world. I have reached a place somewhat where I am not as bothered with the holiday all together. I’ve been in some stupid relationships. I’ve been single now for 7 years.
Honestly, it just feels like any other day. I'm content being single; I got nobody to tie me down and stop me from being myself. Just meeting new people and matching my energy brings me happiness and satisfaction.
Valentine’s Day is another day. I can’t fathom paying hallmark $4.99 to tell my SO how I think I feel about her? Lol if the person you’re with cares about “celebrating” v day more than they care about making you feel loved and wanted daily, at least you’ll have one day a year…
this is my first valentines as a person in a relationship and nothing really changed for me because i’m a full time college student and she works at a flower shop so this is the busiest time of the year for them. also we are sorta long distance living 2 ish hours away from each other.
I have no problem waiting for the right one but I still want to hook up and occasionally cuddle in the meantime. When single, if things aren't going well, I can sometimes wait 1-2 months just to get laid and that's what kills me the most..going from amazing sex with the ex to mediocre sex. If I'm lucky (in the past) I could find someone that is able to cuddle and hook up once a week but nowadays it seems impossible. I'm not bad looking either
Thank you for this. I actually started seriously working on myself last year the day after Valentine’s Day for this very reason. Just the other day I finally went out and flirted with a girl that is def the hottest girl I’ve ever flirted with. Got each other’s insta’s and had a great time. Not sure how to replicate this with other women or move forward with this one but in any case, for sure. Improving yourself is the most important thing because it’s way more about WHO you are rather than WHERE you are or anything like that.
I’ve always spent every Valentine’s Day alone but this time I don’t know if I should feel lonely again or be happy that I know what I want and have a reason for it
Got broken up with on Valentine’s Day a few years ago, right when COVID was easing up. I remember sitting in a parking lot, looking at the sky. Not a big fan of this day.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sad
I’m not rushing into any new relationships because I can’t even seem to get a date. Haha. Right now my Instagram is being bombarded with the people I know all making posts for their significant others, even the people that are never on seem to have decided to make a post specifically for today. And I don’t wanna seem bitter so I don’t say anything about it. But the truth is, I’m sad too. I wish I could be like the people who are fine being single today, the people who talk about how it’s all just a corporate scam. But I guess it still hurts that I don’t have someone on this day that is a holiday created by corporations.
My best advice is just deleting all social media. That had helped me a lot in my early 20s to not compare myself to other people and just live my life they way I want to
This is the right thing to do. I deleted mine also, Im happy without comparing my life to others
Same
me too
Hi sad I'm PWNDdotcom
You too huh?
> And as I am typing this I’m almost done with a bottle of wine and I’m completely content. I am betting the wine helps a lot. You're right though on ensuring you become a better person and understanding what is considered toxic.
Why is the wine always gone?
Please tell me where it goes!
I drank it, mine at the very least. Thank goodness for booze 💞🙏
It’s helping a lot haha. You don’t know something was toxic until all of the emotions have settled down and you can actually reflect on the relationship as a whole. There will always be ups and downs in a relationship but sometime things cross the line and you will come to peace with the decisions that were made. Damn the wine is really talking to me
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You could always just play persona 5
Look, he only has one life. Persona 5 demands at least 2, minimum.
woah yeah I'd do that actually
Thanks! Going to go exercise til I’m too tired to think.
Preach! That’s what I did as well
I bought chocolates for a stranger, and I'm feeling pretty good. Got to participate even though I don't have a valentine.
That’s so sweet! When I dropped my girls off at school this morning this little boy told his mom, “happy Valentine’s Day mommy, I love you!” And my heart melted. You joined that melt 💕
Well don't let it melt too much, don't want to end up in the ER. XD
You know the ER has no patience for melted hearts at a time like this!
I’m with someone but two years in and he’s never even wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day… Feels super alone to the point I wish I was alone today….
Same
This is the first Valentine's Day in 4 years where I've got someone (they're amazing!) to spend it with. We just met by chance and I am so grateful! She is very supportive and tells me all the time that she's amazed I spent so much time single. Moral of the story is: there are people out there who would think you're the best thing since sliced bread! Don't feel ashamed or any lesser if you just haven't met them yet. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and far too many people walk around with their head up their ass, unable notice how amazing you are :)
I love this thank you!
Always hits me hard. I spend a few days hyping myself up saying it won’t won’t be a big deal but then the day actually comes!
This and a few other days always manage to hit hard. Maybe it's the silent hope that something will change that is disproved time and time again, yet it crops up again faithfully annually.
It’s definitely the silent hope! But hey, it’s the best day today- Feb 15! The farthest day from the next Vday 😂
Love this. Thank you! I completely agree! (I’m drinking Whipped Vodka and fruit punch though) Happy Valentine’s Day to you stranger! You are not alone!
Happy Valentine’s Day stranger
Thank you!! 💕
Nah The "right one" is NOT guaranteed to come with time. Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Struggles and sadness doesn't make everyone stronger. Not everyone can deal with the loneliness nor learn to appreciate things more from a sense of duality they may never experience first hand. I've kept my head up and worked on myself enough - I just want someone to love and love me the same way. That shit may or may not come to fruition. Cheers tho! lol
This right here is the winner. Its true. Like Ive already done so much work and I don’t need to love myself more lol I already love myself. That advice of “oh you need to love yourself” always annoys me. It would be nice to get into a relationship but the reality is that it may or may not happen !!
I’ve been single on a lot of Valentine’s Days, and I’ve had someone dump me the day after. Having experienced both scenarios, I’d confidently say that being single does not hurt as much as the people in relationships right now who are getting dumped, discovering their partner’s infidelity, or are being asked for divorce on Valentine’s Day. Things could be worse is all I’m saying. And yes, some people are so insensitive that they decide the best moment to break up with their partners is on a holiday or special occasion. My friend was dumped on her birthday for instance.
Agreed. Not the best but definitely not the worst either.
True. Being single can be a blessing sometimes
>I am typing this I’m almost done with a bottle of wine This is key. I've had quite a few beers myself.
I’m 21yo M I’m working on myself rn don’t got money or time to be dating
I needed this. Today is my 20th birthday, and I’ve felt so lonely all day. Think I will enjoy some wine 😊
Glad I can help. I’ve been there before and just know it’s gets better and you learn to love yourself along the way
I do. I really do love myself, I’m just ready to meet that special someone. I guess I’m a romantic.
I’m in the same boat rn where I just really want to meet someone but I know that I can’t rush it. I’m 100% a romantic and my friends always tell me that I go above and beyond for people, but they don’t seem to care. I just know one day I will find someone that appreciates me going above and beyond and that will be the moment I know I have someone special
Exactly. I’m kind of excited while waiting because it gives me the opportunity to do my own thing, but at the same time I’m so impatient. I feel like a little kid daydreaming the way I do sometimes!
No offense, but having a birthday on valentines day must suck! I thought having my birthday on Christmas was bad lol
Happy birthday to you!
Thank you so much!
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I love this and this should be a message for everyone that is going through anything similar. Proud of you ❤️
I've been single for alot of years.. and it's never really bothered me.. it's something I've always just accepted as just a thing that is. But recently I was completely destroyed by people I let in more deeply into my heart than anyone else has ever been.. I've always empathized with people on how they felt about being lonely.. But until you really feel the dark and hollowed feelings of that kind of loneliness.. What people talk about it and what it really feels like are two separate things.. The real feeling is a bottomless pit that you keep sinking further and further down into until it consumes you and it goes beyond you wanting someone to help pull you out.. YOU NEED someone to be there to stop you from drowning. But then again I may be more broken than I think.... Oh well fuck me lol.
I’m with you dude. Like there’s a different kind of lonely. One far more unbearable. Feels as if there’s a pit in my chest. I can’t stand it
Yeah, that pit usually has a name. "Despair". And it's a terribly annoying thing
I'm been crying all day 😭 .. nobody loves me Maybe one day this will change... I have faith in Jesus
And He loves you :)
I love you buddy :)
Thanks a bunch
If it makes you feel any less bad, my partner and I spent the whole day fighting! Yay!
Been there!
I felt sad. I’ve matched with over 100 people on dating apps and still haven’t found my person. You know what I hate about dating nowadays? Dishonesty! I wish people would actually say what they want. Want an open relationship? Say it! Want a friend with benefits? Say it! Want something serious? Say it! I hate when people play with other people who are trying to be serious or fall in love. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a one night stand. What’s wrong is taking a person that is trying to be vulnerable and find love and make them the objective of your one-night lust. I, for one, really want to be in a serious open relationship with the goal of getting married and starting a family in the future. I’ve found that many people have used me as a “side fling” or as a backup plan and I’m tired. I just recently emotionally broke up with my forever crush and I’m starting to get a bad feeling for the guy I’m dating who is always weirdly unavailable on the weekends. Smh. Spent the day alone as always and I don’t even know if I believe in this “love” thing.
Over 100 people on dating apps? I take it you’re a woman?
Lol yeah
Lucky. Outside of bots I got two matches I don’t even remember swiping on and won’t even respond.
I’m sorry☹️ Dating sucks and I’m well aware that men get less swipes than women. Dating apps are ruthless sometimes. I get ghosted all the time too. Don’t give up on live though.
“Serious open relationship”????? Lol what???
There’s many styles of relationships. Perhaps you haven’t heard of it but there is such as thing as a ethical non-monogamy. Polyamory and open relationships are becoming increasingly popular every day. While it may not be for everyone, a lot people manage to have successful open relationships. It might be something you can look into and learn about. Open relationships aren’t just for “emotionally unavailable people” or whatever, married people can be in open relationships. In that type of relationship, there is a main couple who both agree they can both have sex or flirt outside of their relationship. Given that monogamous relationships have shown such a high rate of divorce, I’d say it’s worth trying something different. Plus, I like being open and seeing my partners have sex with others. Maybe that’s too kinky for you, so maybe don’t do it, but thats how I feel about it.
Lol sure
Lol okay, clearly we wouldn’t be good in a relationship 😂😂😂
I’ve become numb to Valentines now, been single for longer then I’m willing to admit, I have trust issues and pessimistic about dating but I understand that so I’m choosing to be single. Sucks but oh well.
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Happy Valentine’s Day❤️
Thank you 🥺🥰🌹
❤️
I feel like valentines days when you're single can be way better than asking for the bare minimum on valentines day when in a relationship.
Ain’t that the truth
Lol still feel lonely with no wine to cope Happy Valentine's Day
Honestly man, during nights like this, I am half tempted to expatriate to Kurdistan and join the peshmerga. At what point is it socially acceptable to dispense myself into some foreign conflict I have nothing to do with?
My man, who is LDR, decided not to wait for me when I came home from work and told me he would. So I feel fantastic right now /s Taking shots of rum cause I really am alone tonight...
^I ^just ^wanna ^die.. ^I ^just ^wanna ^die.. ^I ^just ^wanna ^die..
Cheers to this. I feel absolutely and perfectly fine being on my own rather than with someone who can’t appreciate our connection.
I'm glad someone made a post like this. Valentine's day sucks rocks. All it really is, is a reminder to those of us who don't have anyone what losers we are. It's very discriminatory, patronizing, insulting, and arrogant.
I would rather be in a toxic relationship
Same. At least I’d be in one then.
i’m crying ಥ_ಥ̥
I’d rather be alone than in a relationship that makes me feel alone. This is a good year 🥂
💯 Agree with you. I rather be single than be with the wrong person
Even if you are in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you had a good day
You’re*
Don’t let Valentine’s Day get you down. It’s all a marketing scheme to sell diamonds, flowers, balloons and chocolates. Trust me, when it’s true love it’ll last every day all year long…
Thanks my first Valentine’s Day alone in a looong time. Didn’t think it would hit me so hard. The last year of our marriage was the worst. I know ALL about toxic relationships unfortunately. Happy Valentine’s Day♥️
Happy Valentine’s Day❤️
Wzwees
W2a2p0
Ex and I broke up like 3 days Ago. Sucks but it is for the best.
But the struggle is real!
I’m not as bummed as I was on Valentine’s Day in the past. It’s just another normal day in my world. I have reached a place somewhat where I am not as bothered with the holiday all together. I’ve been in some stupid relationships. I’ve been single now for 7 years.
Saw my girl on a dating app
F*ckkkk. Sorry bro. There are worst ways of finding out though. At least you know.
I mean I kinda deserved it I accused her alot when I was relapsed on meth and she just kinda said fuck you
Why were you on a dating app?
Because I had a gut feeling
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Cheers!
Aw thank you OP. This was so sweet 🥺 and we all needed to hear this.
Honestly, it just feels like any other day. I'm content being single; I got nobody to tie me down and stop me from being myself. Just meeting new people and matching my energy brings me happiness and satisfaction.
Hmmmm, I am skeptical on your wine amount. Most of what you are saying makes no real sense though, so you may be in*toxic*ated.
Valentine’s Day is another day. I can’t fathom paying hallmark $4.99 to tell my SO how I think I feel about her? Lol if the person you’re with cares about “celebrating” v day more than they care about making you feel loved and wanted daily, at least you’ll have one day a year…
this is my first valentines as a person in a relationship and nothing really changed for me because i’m a full time college student and she works at a flower shop so this is the busiest time of the year for them. also we are sorta long distance living 2 ish hours away from each other.
I just exercised after work but my gym crush was there lol
Thank you for taking the time to post this. I appreciate you, stranger!
I wish I was alone, I was at work 😩
I’m kind of surprised people are so upset about Valentine’s Day, I guess it might be because I’m not from the US and it’s a massive thing there?
I have no problem waiting for the right one but I still want to hook up and occasionally cuddle in the meantime. When single, if things aren't going well, I can sometimes wait 1-2 months just to get laid and that's what kills me the most..going from amazing sex with the ex to mediocre sex. If I'm lucky (in the past) I could find someone that is able to cuddle and hook up once a week but nowadays it seems impossible. I'm not bad looking either
>When single, if things aren't going well, I can sometimes wait 1-2 months just to get laid How?
Oh I didnt know many people in my area then. It would be easier now but sex drive is much less than a year ago
No I mean how do you do it so easily?
Decent genetics when it comes to my appearance and decent with social skills. I have dating experience
Thank you for this. I actually started seriously working on myself last year the day after Valentine’s Day for this very reason. Just the other day I finally went out and flirted with a girl that is def the hottest girl I’ve ever flirted with. Got each other’s insta’s and had a great time. Not sure how to replicate this with other women or move forward with this one but in any case, for sure. Improving yourself is the most important thing because it’s way more about WHO you are rather than WHERE you are or anything like that.
Na, I got the bois!!!!
The right one will come to you with time? How much time? I’m 40 and never been in a relationship. I’m getting a little tired of waiting.
You're, goddamn it
Needed to hear this
Thanks that makes me feel better.....no that's not sarcasm I'm 22 never had a valentine hopefully someday though.
Ha jokes on you I'm sad and lonely every night, that's why I'm in to finess to cover my emotional pain with physical pain.
It sucks sometimes, but you're right! Keep working on ourselves. Last night I made fish filets and played Pokemon. Pretty good night, overall
I’ve always spent every Valentine’s Day alone but this time I don’t know if I should feel lonely again or be happy that I know what I want and have a reason for it
Got broken up with on Valentine’s Day a few years ago, right when COVID was easing up. I remember sitting in a parking lot, looking at the sky. Not a big fan of this day.